Category Archives: Skills

Worship Wednesday – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli

Blog - If We're Honest - behappyPhoto Credit: BeHappy

This is the message which we have heard from him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. . . if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. . . . If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:5-9

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.  James 5:16

I’ve always tried to be pretty much a “what you see if what you get” sort of person…and my husband is the same. We tried to raise our children the same. No pretenses. No false fronts. Fully human with both its strengths and weaknesses. This can backfire on occasion when an opinion or action rankles a developed sensibility on the part of another family member or friend.

Fortunately, if that loved one also determines to live with transparency and understanding, there can be great grace. My sister-in-law and I have been friends for all the years we’ve known each other. Marrying brothers, we became sisters ourselves. She gave me the Willow Tree statue below. It reminds me of us.Blog - If We're Honest - Willow Tree from StacieWe talk about everything…all the good stuff and all the hard stuff. For years we’ve laid our lives bare in front of each other, knowing, completely confident, that we’re both safe. I pray that never changes. No matter what is going on in our marriage, or our parenting, our friendships, or our faith, we have determined to love each other always.

This friendship is like others I have been fortunate to have. Clearly, God meant for His children to have these sorts of relationships. Open, accepting, deeply caring, and loving no matter what. These kinds of relationships foster confessional living.

W. David. O. Taylor is a pastor and educator.  In his blog, The Discipline of Living a Confessional Life, he talks about this. He writes to artists but his observations apply to us all.

What does it mean to live a confessional life? It means that we live in a way that trusted others are always being invited to know our deepest weaknesses and failures. Dallas Willard puts it this way: in the discipline of confession “we lay down the burden of hiding and pretending, which normally takes up such a dreadful amount of human energy” (Spirit of the Disciplines, 188).

Anything we keep hidden is a breeding ground for Satan-manipulating, flesh-arousing dysfunction: self-pity, self-aggrandizement, self-protectiveness, self-indulging, self-destructiveness, the very stuff that fights against all our best [artistic] efforts.

What we need, then, is a mechanism to get us un-hidden. We need to get ourselves out of darkness as quickly as possible and back into the light. That is a Christian definition of sanity. That is also often the most difficult thing for us to do. Yet it is in the light that God does his best work of freeing us from the sin that entangles and distorts.W. David. O. Taylor

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
Ephesians 4:25

What is there to gain by showing a false front to those around us? There is so much more to be lost in not being real with ourselves and each other.

When Kevin Davis, of NewReleaseToday, interviewed Francesca Basttistelli about the take-away message of her song, If We’re Honest, she had this to say:

“Writing songs for the first time as a mom for this album showed me where I was at that time. There were no pretenses, and I wasn’t trying to be anyone that I’m not. Once you are a parent, you get a taste for what really matters. You’re not as worried about what people think of you. 

I was also going through transitions of personal and business relationships, and I saw how a lack of transparency and honesty can really harm relationships and holds back all that God can do in a partnership or friendship. I was desperately crying out for that and wanting to challenge myself and others to live a life with more transparency, to quit putting up facades and walls with each other.”

She further talked about how Satan uses our secrets to isolate us from each other…to divide us…and to keep us from being the bold witness that we can be when we lay our lives open before God and each other. Life is too short and too precious to withhold who we really are…no matter how broken, or wounded, or small…we all share in this…this need for a Savior; this need to be known and loved as we are.

God completely understands that about us…and loves us…as will others who love Him first.

Worship with me.

Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide

I’m a mess and so are you
We’ve built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

(CHORUS)
Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine
‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy’s waiting on the other side
If we’re honest
If we’re honest

Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross, at the cross

(CHORUS)

It would change our lives
It would set us free
It’s what we need to be

(CHORUS)

Blog - Francesca Battistelli - If We're Honest - myact4HimPhoto Credit: MyAct4Him

Postscript: Can I just comment on the kindness and sweetness of God in His relationship with His children? I wanted to write about this song this week and struggled with how to talk about it. Then with Francesca Battistelli’s help (through the interview/video on “behind the song”), it dawned on me that this was about confessional living. This was a delight for me because this sort of life is one I’ve lived without knowing what to call it. I searched on-line for confessional living and found the blog by W. David. O. Taylor. In researching where his confessional life has taken him, I discovered he is the one Nathan Clarke worked with to film the Bono and Eugene Peterson conversation. I wrote about that here. How fun is that?!

*Lyrics – If We’re Honest – KLove – Songwriters: Francesca Battistelli / Jeff Pardo / Molly E. Reed

Behind the Song with Kevin Davis – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli – NewReleaseToday

YouTube Video – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli

YouTube Video – Francesca Battistelli – Behind the Album, If We’re Honest

The Discipline of Living a Confessional Life – W. David. O. Taylor

Confessional Writing – Wikipedia

5 Friday Faves – Emotional Intelligence, Hand Massage, a TV Commercial, 40% Rule, Zelda – & a Bonus

Blog - Friday Faves

Friday is here again…and I’m looking back over another week that went by in a blur. Glad to share some of the discoveries of this past week. Would love to hear about your week’s finds (comment below).

1) Emotional Intelligence – This is a concept that’s been around for awhile now, but I never really read about it until this week.  Matt Monge’s article for The Mojo Company sparked my interest. He described 6 symptoms of leaders with low emotional intelligence. Here’s the definition: “Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.” 

Two of Monge’s points were: 1) Leaders with low emotional intelligence say “I’m sorry you feel that way” more than “I’m sorry,” and 2) Leaders with low emotional intelligence often blame the people they hurt for the situations leading to them being hurt. Daniel Goleman has written several books on this topic including Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than Intelligence and Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. The very cool thing about emotional intelligence is that it can be developed. The big dilemma is whether bosses who tend not to be bothered by their impact on personnel would buy into this or not. Incorporating such concepts in personnel accountability metrics might provide some incentive. I’ve added graphics below that helped me further understand emotional intelligence.Blog - Friday Faves - Leadership - Emotional IntelligencePhoto Credit: Self Study History

Blog - Friday Faves - Emotional Intelligence - grid - dollieslagerPhoto Credit: Dollie Slager

Blog - Friday Faves - Emotional Intelligence - low & highPhoto Credit: The King and Queen

2) Hand Massage – My dad is 93 years old. He has Alzheimer’s. I can’t imagine he has ever had a hand massage in his whole adult life until this past week. The memory care unit which is now home to him has this lovely activities director. One of his first days there, she brought over two warm washcloths and wrapped both his hands. Then she began massaging each one. He just melted into a relaxed, soothed puddle.  One of his repetitive actions is to scratch his hand which he does to distraction. Hand massage is such a thoughtful, therapeutic act. It never dawned on me to do such a thing. Midway down an excellent piece on Alzheimer’s by staff at University of Maryland, massage is recommended as treatment to calm these patients. So glad Dad is where he is with these engaged caregivers.Blog - Dad and hand massage

3) A TV Commercial – We all discover human interest videos through our social media sites. This is my favorite for the week. The #SharetheLoad video produced by Ariel (a washing detergent we used overseas) in India is beautiful. The message is a father’s regret that he modeled for his wife and daughter a very passive role in the home. Even as an older man (the commercial goes), he determined to make that right. Whether it happens or not in such homes today, the message is a powerful one.

4) 40% Rule – So I found this Fortune article on my Twitter feed. Sidd Finch wrote about Jesse Itzler’s encounter with David Goggins, a Navy Seal. during a 100-mile relay race. Goggins was running the entire race without relay partners. Itzler was so intrigued by this ultra-athlete that he actually invited him to live with Itzler’s family for a month. Out of this time together came the book Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet. Goggins taught Itzler about the Navy Seals’ 40% Rule.

Itzler explains, “He would say that when your mind is telling you you’re done, you’re really only 40 percent done. And he had a motto: If it doesn’t suck we don’t do it. And that was his way of forcing us to get uncomfortable to figure out what our baseline was and what our comfort level was and just turning it upside-down.”

“The 40% rule, the SEAL explained, is the reason why even though most people hit a wall at mile 16 during a marathon, they’re still able to finish.”

Blog - Friday Faves - 40 percent rule - David GogginsPhoto Credit: Just Go Fitness

“I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.”David Goggins

Blog - Friday Faves - 40 percent rule - Navy Seals - David GogginsPhoto Credit: AZ Quotes

5) Zelda The Legend of Zelda is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. I recently wrote briefly about it here. Koji Kondo wrote much of the music for the video game series. Blog - Friday Faves - Video Games - Link of The Legend of ZeldaPhoto Credit: Cogswell.edu

Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar has posted two covers so far to showcase how beautiful the music is and how well it’s captured on classical guitar. I wrote about the first cover previously, and here’s his second piece. Happy 30th Anniversary, Legend of Zelda.

HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence (with featured article “What Makes a Leader?” by Daniel Goleman)

10 Signs You Have Exceptional Mental Strength by Jessica Stillman

BONUS: If you got this far, you will be so rewarded! Very few people in my life watch American Idol, and this is its final (15th) season. I am not fond of the whole reality show murkiness of it, but the performances of these gifted young people and the judges (Keith Urban, Harry Connick, Jr., and Jennifer Lopez) are captivating as well. I want to post videos of two amazing performances from this week’s elimination show (elimination meaning the week the field of contestants narrows to the Top 10). The first video is that of La’Porsha Renae who may very well become the final American Idol. This one can sing!!!

We were overseas when American Idol’s first season aired. I don’t actually remember how I saw Kelly Clarkson in that competition, but I remember following her. She was the first American Idol winner, and the rest is history. To be honest, Kelly Clarkson was off my music listening grid…until now. The song she wrote and performed, Piece by Piece, deals with the painful subject of a father who deserted her as a young child. The song also celebrates the very different man she married, the faithful father of her daughter. This song may make you cry. Wow!

Monday Morning Moment – Notes on Chris Bailey’s Life of Productivity

Blog - Productivity - Chris bailey - by Lewis HowesPhoto Credit: Lewis Howes, The School of Greatness

Where does the time go? How do I get so tired before the day is done? I just can’t stay focused…too distracted, I guess. You know what I’m talking about. Then there are the reactions of those friends and family. The ones who treat us with kindness tell us sympathetically “You are just so busy”. Then the others, more in our faces, say, “The things you want to do, you do. You just don’t want time with me enough.” I get the logic of those statements, but I’ve been perplexed as to how to improve my life choices, such that I get more accomplished…more of the important things.

Until more recently…when I experienced the convergence of making New Year’s resolutions, having a big birthday, and hearing Chris Bailey talk productivity.

Blog - Chris Bailey - ProductivityPhoto Credit: Unmistakable Creative

Chris Bailey is the age of my children. Although he had job offers, he took the year after graduating university to go deep into a study of productivity.  During that year, he wrote about his experiments in his blog – A Life of Productivity. Then, he designed a roadmap of 25 tactics to greater productivity in his book The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy .

You may be tempted to yawn at another book on productivity, but this is clearly one not like the others. I listened to a couple of podcasts on Unmistakable Creative where host Srini Rao talks with Chris Bailey. They pour over what Chris discovered about productivity during that year of experiments. [Disclaimer: I haven’t read the book yet but plan to. My takeaways are from these podcasts and the other sources linked below. Can’t wait to read his roadmap on productivity.]

As Chris talks with Srini (and we get to listen in – love these podcast opportunities), he talks about what he’s learned from others regarding productivity. His tipping point was reading David Allen’s book Getting Things Done. Srini also refers to Cal Newport’s writing on deep work (you can listen to him on Unmistakable Creative here and here). They also mentioned Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Chris Bailey’s year of productivity experiments included studying what was already in the literature – a big help to us less-read hopefuls.

Chris defines productivity not as getting more things done but getting more accomplished. The difference is huge. It’s not just the “to-do list” but the view toward the “done list”. “Productivity is time, energy, and attention, and where the three meet in the middle is where you are in being productive. It is achieving what you intend to accomplish. It’s not about doing more things faster, but doing the right things deliberately and with intention.”

Here are the takeaways from my first-look into Chris Bailey’s “life of productivity”.

  • Take a step back from your life and ask the questions: What do I care about? What motivates me? When was I most inspired, driven, or felt the most meaning or passion for what I was doing?
  • The three commodities we all bring to the table are time, energy, and attention. It’s not just about time management, but also increasing our capacity for work (energy) and focus (attention).
  • Start every day with intentionality. Make your to-do lists to manage the minutia of life, but then do something more. Take a step back. Execute what he calls the Rule of 3. At the start of the day, mentally fast-forward to the end of the day and ask: “When the day is done, what three main things do I want to accomplish?” From this you form intentions on what you want to accomplish.
  • Being busy, even in ticking off the things on your to-do list, doesn’t mean you’re being productive. This gives an illusion to productivity, but only when you step back do you discover whether you have accomplished what you thought you did in the busy-ness.
  • Start small in working toward productivity. Real change takes time and intentionality. “Write down everything in your job and personal life that you’re responsible for. Then ask, if I can only do one of these things every day, which adds value/meaning to my life (I would add or to that of another who matters deeply to me)? Ask again of the remaining tasks. And a third time.”
  • We all have limitations and constraints in our life. Bear those in mind as you plan and execute and evaluate. Being hard on ourselves won’t get us to greater productivity. Small, incremental steps toward change should be celebrated.
  • Work on one thing at a time. Single-tasking. Working mindfully.  “Multi-tasking holds people back from accomplishing more over the course of the day. It stimulates your mind; it’s like being busy. However, it actually makes you less productive, increases your errors, decreases your memory,  and takes longer to do everything” [in reality]. “You can only focus on one thing at one time. You then dedicate 100% of your time, energy, and attention to one thing – it will yield the highest productivity.” Counter-intuitive, I know, but I’m beginning to believe the wisdom of this.
  • Procrastination involves 7 triggers that cause your mind to resist certain tasks: when they are boring, frustrating, difficult, ambiguous, unstructured, lacking intrinsic reward, or personal meaning. We put off doing those types of tasks (which often are ones we actually need to attack to be truly productive) and instead while away our time on social media or marathoning Netflix. Chris Bailey gives a way out: “Once you step back from the task, noticing you’re procrastinating, trick the triggers – reward yourself, set time limits, structure it, etc.”
  • Mindfulness is continually bringing your attention back to the work that’s in front of you. Chris Bailey uses meditation to build “attentional muscle”. Taking mental breaks (however you do) is important to make attentional space which we need for creativity. Our mind goes back and forth from “the essential executive mode (constantly thinking of something, like when on a smartphone), and the mind-wandering mode (like when you’re in the shower). You often have those brilliant ideas while in the shower.” Make space for building attention and creativity. Take breaks and disconnect a bit from the internet or Netflix (you knew that was coming, right?).

I am so encouraged by the possibilities of building capacity in my time, energy, and attention. Chris gets us started with his 100 Time, Energy, and Attention Hacks to Be More Productive. Remember, he urges us to start small. Change one thing, maybe, in each area. It’s a process but one we can master toward gaining a life of greater meaning and capacity, accomplishing what we have hoped for…not just waiting for the future self to do it. We can be more that person beginning today.

Blog - Chris Bailey - Productivity Experiment

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Chris Bailey – A Life of Productivity – Website

The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy by Chris Bailey

Unmistakably Creative – Podcast with Chris Bailey – Bridging the Gaps in Our Productivity

The Top 10 Lessons I Learned From a Year of Productivity by Chris Bailey

100 Time, Energy, and Attention Hacks to Be More Productive by Chris Bailey

YouTube Video – The Path to Meaningful Work: Chris Bailey at TEDxGatineau

Five Habits that Help Chris Bailey Stay Productive

From 90-hour Work Week to Rising Before Dawn, Author Experiments with Productivity – CTV News

Chris Bailey on Twitter

Looking for a Job…or the Next Job? – 4 Ideas to Consider

Blog - Do Over #2

When you need a job, or a new job, you are in a tender place. I will treat that place with honor. You have gifts, experience, and workplace wisdom that are needed somewhere…so please don’t despair. Any bitterness that could be taking root in your heart will only get in your way. You have choices, more than you think. You have probably had more advice than you can even follow, so I don’t want to burden you with another load of it. Just 4 ideas.

  1. Read an encouraging and practical book.  For me, that book is Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Acuff gives sound counsel, mixed with fun stories, about how to get on with your life in the marketplace. In fact, I wrote 5 blogs on his book (see links below). I leave out the stories, but his “next steps” are extremely helpful and sometimes surprisingly counter-intuitive. He boosts the reader’s confidence in a genuine way and  doing the exercises in his book can make a huge difference in job hunting. So much affirmation…real affirmation.
  2. Network with lots of people. It’s not just about “who you know”. It’s also about “who knows you”. Sometimes we don’t even recognize our own strengths (OR weaknesses). Trusted friends or even respected acquaintances can give you much-needed food for thought and action. Maybe you don’t even know what to do, job-wise – your future is wide open but looks (to you) very dark. Input from others who care about you or who are caring, in general, can help you focus. You may not have even considered what they may be telling you – either about your own hireability or the job market itself. Listen and learn. P.S. Don’t go to them for a job; go to them for wisdom about getting a job.
  3. Try something completely new. The film The Intern with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway speaks to this something new. A 70-year-old takes an internship in a cool successful company. Funny and winsome and could be one of us, right? Then I have also been hearing a lot lately about advanced manufacturing and the need for apprentices in this field. You may have a “white collar” education that could be more finely tuned with some “blue collar” experience. Those terms may be antiquated with the blurring of boundaries in our more technology-rich manufacturing companies. You could be that intern or apprentice.

4. Consider working with a head-hunter or job placement agency. In a conference recently, I heard Michael Thompson, founder and CEO of Turas Group, speak to a group of job-seekers. His approach was warm and positive. In that half-hour session, he gave strong individualized counsel to each person, based on what information they had already sent them. Counsel that helped everyone in the room really, but also individualized to each person’s needs. He also asks really good questions which is incredibly helpful for clarification – when you really don’t know what to do next.

One thing Thompson expressed was the importance of doing lots of interviews. His counsel included: a) prepare and do research to know your interviewers; b) arrive early; c) have your 60 second pitch down; d) – smile a lot, have energy, be excited and maintain eye contact; e) answer directly and concisely; and finally f) if you don’t know the answer to a question, share that, but then offer what you would do (especially if you’ve never done that something needed). Thompson also encouraged the participants to join LinkedIn (a global online professional network).Blog - Friday Faves - Turas Group

Whether you’re just out of college or you find yourself in the throes of a company downsizing, you know something of what you offer any employer. Allow these 4 ideas to fill in some of the holes you can’t see that would make job hunting a less painful and more productive endeavor.

As to dealing with the disappointment of not finding a job right out of school, or the loss of satisfying work you loved, please don’t let that define you. You have choices…maybe very different that you first imagined, but you have them. Make those lists of strengths and people of influence in your life as Jon Acuff advises; talk (well, listen more) to friends and advocates; and stay open to a real positive turn in your career. Finally, I personally would add “Pray” to all this. Prayer will help you to not panic or grow bitter when your emotional energy would better serve your pursuit of that job – the one you can’t imagine right now. Remember who you are and Whose you are.

Any comments on what has helped you or what is sustaining you in your job hunt? Please share below.

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

Do Over – Jon Acuff on Work Relationships – Notes (Part 2 of Do Over Series)

10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

Turas Group – Michael Thompson, CEO – Michael@turasgroup.com – or connect via LinkedIn

Tips for a Successful Job Search – Tulane University

Global Leadership Summit – 7 Take-Aways from Day One of #GLS15

Blog - Global Leadership Summit - thecrossingchurchnj.orgPhoto Credit: thecrossingchurchnj.org

Today I participated in the Global Leadership Summit at a satellite site near Richmond, Virginia. It was my first time, but I hope not to miss another. It is best described on the website- “a world-class experience designed to help you get better and embrace your grander vision—the reason God called you to lead. Broadcast LIVE in HD from Willow’s campus near Chicago to over 375 Premier Host Sites in North America and later around the world, you are invited to join an expected 260,000 leaders in 2015.”

7 great leaders spoke today, and 6 others will speak tomorrow. The experience was so meaningful and beneficial to me where I am currently in life, but I would recommend it to anyone whatever your situations.

Following are the briefest of 7 take-aways that are still buzzing around in my head. So much to process. Here’s a start.

Bill Hybels (founder/senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church; chairman of the Willow Creek Association which launched the Global Leadership Summit in 1995):

“Leadership is [simply] moving people from here to there.”

“Armed with enough humility we can learn from anyone.” 

Hybels reflected on Richard Davis’ book The Intangibles of Leadership – and developed his own list of 5 intangibles for leaders:Blog - Global Leadership Summit - 5 Intangibles of LeadershipPhoto Credit: jobsforlife.org

He challenged us to discover the “white-hot why” of our lives – the why of what we do – what really matters for us. For Hybels, it’s “transforming lives”. He is a living example of being faithful to that “why”.

Jim Collins (best-selling author of Good to Great):

Jim Collins talked about what he learned as the recent Chair (2012-2013) for the Study of Leadership at the United States Military Academy at West Point. He reported that: creating a culture out of which great leaders are developed must include

  1. Serving a cause we can be passionate about and for which we would be willing to suffer;
  2. Growing through difficulty; and
  3. Succeeding by helping those around us.

“We succeed at our very best only when we help others succeed. We respond to our own difficulties by reaching out and saying ‘Let me help you.’ To communicate to others: ‘You are never alone.'”

“The greatest leaders find a way to make a contribution, a distinctive impact, on people, on real-live flesh and blood people.”

Ed Catmull (Co-Founder of Pixar Animation Studios; President of Walt Disney Animation Studios; Author of Creativity, Inc.):

Catmull wanted to be an animator from the time he was a child but couldn’t see a path to follow that dream. He ended up studying physics in college.Blog - GLobal Leadership Summit - Ed Catmull by brainpickings.orgPhoto Credit: brainpickings.org

“Science and art are not incongruous. Art isn’t about drawing; it’s about learning to see. Which business or professions do you not want to have enhanced ability to see?”

He talked further about 3 processes in film-making, all relating to accountability:

  1. Teams working together (using a Brain Trust – a group of colleagues all acting as peers, with vested interest, giving feedback;
  2. When failures happen in production – embracing [failure] but at the same time dealing with it with both total candor and kindness; and
  3. Operating within constraints (a budget) – actually pushes creativity higher and delivers better outcomes.

“Stories influence the world. We want to use story-telling for good.”

Adam Grant (Professor, Wharton School of Business; Author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success)

Grant talked about the three kinds of persons you find in the workplace…well, anywhere really:  1) Givers, 2) Takers, and 3) Matchers. After defining each of these and how they interact with each other in the workplace (buy the book), he prescribed ways to build a work culture. A work culture of generosity – the work culture that especially develops the givers, which brings the others along as well.

His three challenges were:

  1. Keep the wrong people off the bus. Get rid of the takers.
  2. Redefine giving. [He talked about the 5-minute favor and the 100 hours of volunteering across a year – these micro-lessons of generosity.]
  3.  Encourage help-seekers. – Developing the givers will nurture a culture of “How can I be the rising tide that lifts all boats?” – a Reciprocity Ring.

Dr. Brené Brown (Research Professor, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work; Author of Rising Strong):

“Our brain is neuro-biologically hard-wired in the instant of a [hard time; difficult conversation] to make up a story as to what happened. If we can give our brain a story when something hard happens, we are rewarded by our brain (dopamine). Our brain rewards us whether the story is accurate or not. Our worthiness as people lives inside these stories. When we pretend or deny the story, it owns us. When we own the story, we get to write the ending.”

Brene BrownPhoto Credit: TheGuardian.com

Transformational leaders: 1. Do discomfort.  2.They have absolute emotional awareness about their own life, and about the people around them.

“We can’t ignore emotion. We are emotional people who sometimes think. Emotion dictates behavior. If you speak to the way they think or their behaviors, without speaking to their emotions, they will not change. Speak to their emotions. Curiosity and lines of inquiry are the greatest tools of leaders. ‘Help me understand’. “

Sallie Krawcheck (Chair of Ellevate Network; Former President, Bank of America’s Global Wealth & Investment Management):

“The retirement savings crisis is a women’s crisis – we retire with 2/3 the retirement income as men and live 6-8 years longer than men. I love men. I’m married to a man. But you guys are going to die, and we as women will be living with this crisis.”

“My “‘white-hot why’ is advancing women, elevating women. “

“I work every day as though my children are watching me.”

Albert Tate (Founder/Senior Pastor of Fellowship Monrovia, Southern California):

Pastor Tate preached (and I mean preached) on the miracle of Jesus’ feeding of the 5000 (John 6:1-13), using the five loaves of bread and two fish brought to Him from a boy in the crowd.

Tate renounced the leadership lie of “leaving it all on the field”.

“One of the most key things we can do as leaders as to bring what we have, give it to Jesus, and then get out of the way.”

Leaders, you don’t have to go home on empty. You don’t have to leave it all on the field. Christ left it all on the Cross. Bring what you have. Whatever you have, give it back to Him. Then get out of the way, and watch in awe and wonder at what He does.”

These are just 7 take-aways of the 20 pages of notes I took during today’s Summit. Such great teaching – inspiring, empowering, mystifying, really.

Download the Global Leadership Summit app. Read what you can (in these authors’ books and via all the online resources – articles, blogs, video). Take down the dates for the Global Leadership Summit of 2016 and plan to register early.

Being the leader we hope to be is within our reach.

Post-Script: Michael Jr. was on and off stage to make us laugh and to look at life from just a bit of a different angle. Love him!

Blog - Global Leadership Summit - Michael Jr

Photo Credit: MichaelJrComedy

Global Leadership Summit – Willow Creek Association

Global Leadership Summit App

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

Blog - Hustle - Jon AcuffTurning that last page of a great book is both satisfying and a bit sad. Satisfying in that I have gained so much insight and empowerment in reading Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Sad in that I will miss this super-practical literary journey with Acuff. Such a great read and such a fascinating journey. Looking forward to your next project, Jon.

[Jon Acuff’s words are in italics or bold font. Enjoy.]

Jon starts his section on hustle with a quote by Jack Gilbert: “Music is in the piano only when it is played.” Writing as a not-so-musical member of a musical family, I resonate with this.

In Do Over, hustle is defined as “shorthand for ‘work hard’. Hustle is not just something we add to our Career Savings Account. It is something that multiples everything else we have in it.”

Remember Jon’s formula in Do Over:

(Relationships + Skills + Character) x Hustle = Career Savings Account

To apply hustle, you need grit, flexibility and awareness. As I plowed through Jon Acuff’s writing on hustle, it became very clear that to go after our dreams we have to let go of fear and doubt, all the “what-if’s”, and take hold of what we have to do to get us where we hope to go. It’s work. It’s doable, but we can’t go into it half-way. It takes grit.

“Fear hates hustle. Nothing enrages fear like deciding to actually work hard…Grit is being stubborn in the face of fear. Grit is believing in can when can’t is loud.” – Jon Acuff

Stephen Pressfield says, “The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” (p. 213)

Nathan at guitarPhoto Credit: nathanmillsguitar.com

Flexibility enters in when you refuse to have a narrow view of perfection or success. Instead of believing fear’s lie of “I don’t have what it takes,” flexibility gives you the courage to say, “I have what it takes to try.”

Blog - Hustle 8

“Fear is not the same thing as regret. Regret is a small stream that cuts a canyon into your heart slowly over time. Will you face the fear of today or the regret of forever? Will you attack your fear of failure, maybe even fail and try again?” – Jon Acuff

Make Grit Decisions.

Here is what Jon says every grit decision needs:

  • Time – we think the world “hustle” has to mean fast, but it can also mean focus, intention, pace.
  • Counsel – Lean on your relationships. Some of the worst decisions are made alone. Who are your advocates? Have you given them time to reflect on it or are you rushing right by the wisdom they have to offer? Let them speak into it. A year from now, looking back on the decision, you’ll be glad you made it as a team.
  • Questions – Always ask awesome opportunities, awesome questions. We skimp on due diligence. “What am I not seeing right now?”
  • Kindness – Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision, because…you’re going to. Break the tension of feeling like you’re going to be perfect by giving yourself some kindness from the outset.
  • Honesty – When you look back on a decision, remember that you made that decision with the best information you had at the time.

Acuff encourages the reader to build a Grit List – those things you may not want to do but you know they are the things that will get you in position to take advantage of that career opportunity (stronger relationships, sharpened skills, deeper character). For Jon, one of those things was e-mail. He reconciled the hard work of writing and responding to e-mail in a wise and timely fashion. What would be on your Grit List?

Be aware. “The first half of hustle is addition [new relationships, new skills and new character], but you don’t get to add anything to your life unless you remove something else…You’ll need to find space in your life. “

Blog - Jon Acuff on HustlePhoto Credit: acuff.me

My husband says, “Whenever you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else.” What will you say no to, to say yes to this?

In review, at some point during your career you will:

  • Hit a Career Ceiling and get stuck, requiring sharp skills to free yourself.
  • Lose a job unexpectedly, or need one upon graduating, requiring strong relationships to survive.
  • Make a Career Jump, requiring solid character to navigate the chaos that jumps always generate.
  • And finally, in the case of hustle, you will get a surprise opportunity you didn’t see coming, requiring smart hustle to make the most of it. In moments like that, you’ll need awareness to recognize what to do, grit to actually do it and flexibility to respond to the surprises.

Jon tells story after story in his section on Hustle about ordinary people who overcame their fears and doubts and worked hard to have the careers they wanted. “Every Do Over avoided because of fear fails. Hustle, grit, and flexibility is ‘crawling through a window when the door is slammed shut.'”

“Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other.” – Mary Caroline Richards

Why not me? Why not now? Why not here?

“You really think you can do this?” You’ve probably asked yourself that question. Fear loves that question. On a walk in the woods, on a calm spring day I answered it for myself. “Apparently, I can.”

Finally Jon Acuff looks us straight in the eye, kindly, and says, “I think that can be your answer too. Do you think you can have a Do Over?

Apparently, you can.

[Buy Jon’s book, subscribe to his blog, follow him on Facebook and Twitter, listen to his podcasts. I don’t say this casually. He has won an audience by doing all the hard things he encourages the reader to do and then sharing what he’s learned for pennies when you think how much your life is worth. I’m on my own Do Over. Going for it. Thanks again, Jon.]

Blog - Do Over with Jon AcuffPhoto Credit: SmartCreativeWomen.com

My Previous Blogs on Jon Acuff’s Do Over – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 – Today’s Blog is final piece in Series

YouTube Video – Jon Acuff’s Top Tips on Hustle (in 1 Minute)

Jon Acuff Hustle Archives

Jon Acuff Starts Over

Start: Jon Acuff on Rescuing Time, Hustle, and His Book Start – Podcast

What Hustling Means, with Jon Acuff – Podcast

Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

Blog - Jon Acuff & wife JennyPhoto Credit: Nancy Ray Photography

Who would have thought reading a business book would become a deeply personal experience? Encouraging. Empowering. Do Over has launched itself in my life. Jon (the writer) and Jenny (the wife) Acuff have become like good friends, in a virtual book-driven way. He’s clearly a funny, risk-taking, keen observer of people in the workplace.  She, on the other hand, seems to both hold his feet to the ground and spur him on to what’s next. I’m pretty certain that Jon’s “do over” has Jenny written all over it. Thank you, Jenny.

When he talks about character (in the section of the book I’m covering today), he compares it to planting fruit trees. Character takes time to grow. Its fruit is worth the work and the wait.

As in previous blogs in this series, Jon will do most of the talking.

9 quotes follow. Also an exercise and a closing challenge. I hope you read the book. It is seriously, or not so much seriously, like grappling with a friend about a deep longing for career. Then receiving the best. advice. ever. Jon’s cool, and all…but his own fight for humility and honesty and his own fears and failures give him a platform. A platform to talk into my life and into the lives of those I love the most – my husband and my adult children. Thank you, Jon.

So here’s a bit of what he says about character and its impact on us in the workplace…especially in considering a Career Jump.Blog - Do Over

“Relationships get you the first gig. Skills get you the second. Character is the reason that people will still want to give you another chance if the first opportunity fails. Character is the mortar between all the other parts [relationships, skills, hustle] of the Career Savings Account. It’s what holds the other things together. “

“Character is also what you need the most when you make a positive, voluntary career transition, or what we’re calling a “Career Jump.” You need it the most then because it will be tested the most when you ‘just go for it’ or ‘chase a dream’.”

“When you make a [career] jump, you will be tempted to cut corners, to quit when the going gets tough and lose your patience when the results you expected don’t immediately happen. It is your character that will push you forward.”

Exercise: This time we don’t use note cards, but a notebook would be handy. Jon asks the question: What’s one character trait, related to your career, that you’d like to grow stronger? That’s where we start. You might still want a friend’s help in this. None of us are perfect, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Just pick one to start.

As part of this exercise, consider those weeds in the workplace that could choke out that character trait you’re planting and nurturing. Jon lists four especially nasty (and all too common) ones:

  • Narcissism – our focus is all on ourselves. Weighing every decision and process in your workplace as it relates to you.
  • Dishonesty – Covering a mistake, embellishing our performance, gossiping, outright lying.
  • Pessimism – That negative cup-half-empty (or even broken) take on how things are going at work. It’s not just a weed in your own orchard but it can seed clouds over your coworkers’ view of work. Pessimism can rob you of the ability to brainstorm and to dream (“two activities that require the optimism of creativity”).
  • Apathy – you’ve gotten to the place you just don’t care anymore. What was once being passive now becomes deeply defiant. Partnered with pessimism, you convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to do a Career Jump. A dry and dogged inertia can set in, crippling your ability to orchestrate a Career Jump.

Acuff focuses on 3 character traits in particular to grow in your Career Savings Account: Generosity, Empathy, & Being Present.

Generosity is a game-changer. During a Career Jump give generously as a way to beat back the weed of greed. Greed will end up costing you a lot more than you think. Make your definition of generosity bigger by being generous with your skills and time, not just your money.”

Empathy = Understanding someone else’s needs and acting on them. Generosity and empathy are closely intertwined; they go hand in hand. The stronger you get in one, the stronger you’ll get in the other.”

“The simplest thing you can do to be empathetic [is to] show up.”

“If you really want to reinvent your work and get ahead, there are three things you need to deal with – your phone, your computer and your meetings. Be present.”

[You hear this a lot these days – how distracting are our phones and other electronic devices, and how our shortened attention spans have impaired us related to deep thinking and creative, out-of-the-box dreaming and decision-making. The ones who deal with these will be the outliers – the leaders in the fields of our future. It’s laid out there – now for us to take our lives back.]

“You need character the most when you decide to chase a dream. “

“The moment you decide to make any sort of change in your career, you send other areas of your life into chaos. The bigger the change, the bigger the chaos. Wherever you jump, your character jumps with you.”

Challenge: “Is living with the chaos of a decision easy? Not really, but you do get used to it. I try to create [chaos] sometimes as a way to hide from something else I’m afraid of. I’ve discovered that’s a lightning-fast way to drain a Career Savings Account. When real chaos comes…don’t fight it. If anything, lean into it. ‘Easy’ and ‘adventure’ very rarely travel together.”

These Four Character Flaws Can Kill Your Career – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff – Character Archives

The Awesome Career Audit – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff Quotes by Goodreads (different from ones above)

Why I Hate Jon Acuff by Rob Shep

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

Nathan at guitarPhoto Credit: Nathan Mills Guitar

There’s this guitarist I know. His music is a work in progress. Not his music itself, because he hones his craft daily. Still, his career in music is a study in skill development. No industry stands still. The ability to silence a room with the sound you bring out of a guitar does not a living make. Usually.

There are so many other skills called to bear in a successful career in music today. Composing, arranging, teaching, performing, collaborating, marketing, production, diversifying style or instrument. Whew!

Then there’s your day job (by necessity, or for other reasons). Wisdom is to bring the same disciplines and desire, of that skilled musician, to work every day. To be the best asset you can be for your employer or your company. Shirking entitlement and nurturing an attitude of graciousness and gratitude.

Who is this person?!

Jon Acuff talks about becoming such a person in his book Do Over. He tackles the subject of sharpening and developing skills as imperative to any career, and especially to break through a Career Ceiling.

Have you ever gotten stuck in a job? No, I’m not talking about being ungrateful or feeling entitled to a better situation. I’m talking stuck – as in getting to a place in your job where you can’t see being able to ever advance or be more creative or grow professionally?

Acuff invites us readers to take a good look at our skills to see what exactly we uniquely bring to your job. This would include skills we might have discounted or even forgotten we had.

Below are 10 bits of wisdom from Jon’s section on skills:

  • Relationships get you the first gig, skills get you the second.
  • When you hit a Career Ceiling, skills will be the hammer you use to break through.
  • Don’t let fear hide a skill you’ve always had or wanted to pursue. Just because you’re afraid of doing something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
  • Small skills have the tendency to add up to big careers.
  • Master the invisible skills – Go to work; add value; own your attitude.
  • When you have a bad attitude it flavors every part of your performance.
  • If you want to get better at something, it always costs time. If you don’t have any, steal some from…Facebook or any number of things that are requesting that resource without paying you anything in return.
  • I’m convinced that fear beats the “You don’t have enough time” drum because it never wants you to invest in your career. This is a lie.
  • Your willingness to discipline one part of your life creates freedom in another.
  • You will need skills most when you find yourself stuck. The ceilings are designed to filter out the lazy and uncommitted. Every skill can be a hammer. Start banging. Career Ceilings were meant to be broken.

Like with looking at our relationships, he calls for us to use note cards and list (one per card) all the skills we can think of – whether currently using them or only in the past; whether work-related or not so much. Once we’ve exhausted our ideas on skills then, he says to look for patterns.* It’s so easy to settle into a rut of doing the same thing every day. Going after new skills and sharpening old ones help us to be good at our jobs and, at the same time, love our work.

Whether you are a musician, a teacher, an I.T. guy or a caregiver, you have skills and you can build on those skills. Determining to be diligent to grow your skills and grateful for the opportunities to learn will take you farther than you know. Right through that career ceiling.

“You know who we should fire, that guy who keeps learning how to do his job even better,” said no one ever. – Jon AcuffBlog - Do Over - Jon Acuff

Photo Credit: Forbes.com

*A Simple Two-Step Exercise for Figuring Out What You’re Really Good At – Jon Acuff, Business Insider Start Your Do Over Today

Start Your Do Over Today! – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff: Why Most People Don’t Reach Their Full Potential And How You Can

Nathan Mills on Vine

Crosstrain at Habitat for Humanity - Aug 30 2014Learning new skills on-site with Habitat for Humanity