Category Archives: Attitude

Worship Wednesday – Forgiven – Crowder Music

Photo Credit: Crowder Music, YouTube

“Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love; breaking up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD, that He may come and rain righteousness upon you.”Hosea 10:12

“You have plowed iniquity; you have reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of lies. Because you have trusted in your own way and in the multitude of your warriors.”Hosea 10:13

“So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God.”Hosea 12:6

“You are forgiven.” What a powerful statement…and even more transforming experience! How thankful I am for that forgiveness. Forgiveness from a God who persists in loving us no matter how undeserving we are.

I just finished reading the book of Hosea in the Scripture and marvel at the lessons we have in this prophet’s life and his obedience to God. How strange that God instructed him to marry a woman known for her immorality. God would use Hosea’s love for Gomer as a picture of the Lord’s love for his own wayward people.

Hosea did love Gomer. Even as she continued a destructive and dishonoring lifestyle. Even as she bore children who were not his own. He loved her and forgave her…over and over again.

Forgiveness cost Hosea. He suffered in his love for Gomer. Forgiveness cost God his son…it continues to cost as we, His people, turn to “other lovers”, forgetting the great love we already have in Him. However, God doesn’t forget us. He draws us back to Himself.

Sometimes it is hard for us to to do the same…to forgive those who hurt us…who betray our love. Yet, because we have known God’s forgiveness, we have a way through. We have been forgiven. We can also forgive.

“God can use that forgiving love to melt hardened hearts and change callused lives quicker than anything else in this whole wide world. That is the lesson of Hosea and Gomer, the lesson of forgiveness. God’s love and forgiveness pervade Hosea’s entire prophecy. Please do not misunderstand it. God hates sin; it grieves His heart; He cannot condone it; His perfect righteousness and justice demand that He deal with it. But He still loves sinners and diligently seeks them out and offers them His loving forgiveness.”Richard L. Strauss

“Forgiven”, a worship song written by David Crowder and Ed Cash, reminds us of our part in the crucifixion of Christ. It was for our sin that He gave His life. In the official YouTube video, we see a man and his young son crafting a guitar together. Then the scene shifts to that same man, aging in a prison cell…with pictures of this boy grown into manhood. There is a Bible on his cot. He writes to his son…but his son refuses to read his letters. You must watch the video to see the story to the end.

Maybe what we have done with our lives doesn’t merit a prison sentence. We still desperately need forgiveness. God is ready to receive us and restore us to Himself…in complete forgiveness…as we reckon with and repent of our sin.

Worship with me, please…through this song picturing the love and acceptance we have through the forgiveness of Christ.Photo Credit: PxHere

I’m the one who held the nail
It was cold between my fingertips
I’ve hidden in the garden
I’ve denied You with my very lips

God, I fall down to my knees
with a hammer in my hand
You look at me, arms open

Forgiven, Forgiven
Child, there is freedom
From all of it
Say goodbye to every sin
You are forgiven

I’ve done things I wish I hadn’t done
I’ve seen things I wish I hadn’t seen
Just the thought of Your amazing grace
And I cry, “Jesus, forgive me”

God, I fall down to my knees
With a hammer in my hand
You look at me, arms open

I could’ve been six feet under
I could’ve been lost forever
Yeah, I should be in that fire
But now there’s fire inside of me
Here I am a dead man walking
No grave gonna hold God’s people
All the weight of all our evil
Lifted away, forever free
Who could believe, who could believe?

Forgiven, Forgiven
You love me even when I don’t deserve it
Forgiven, I’m forgiven
Jesus, Your blood makes me innocent
So I will say goodbye to every sin
I am forgiven, I am forgiven*

Praise God for His forgiveness. His call to us is not unlike his call to Hosea. To live in forgiveness a life of forgiveness. If we are honest with ourselves and God, we know the wretched and wandering nature of our own hearts. To withhold forgiveness from those who have sinned against us goes completely contrary to the calling of God. Because we have been so loved and so forgiven, we can also love and forgive in like measure. Not from our own righteousness, but from His.

“Have you offered ‘redemption’ or forgiveness to those in your life who were once under your judgment? Not only does the book of Hosea provide an example of God’s love to a people who have left God behind, but it also shows us what forgiveness and restoration look like in a close relationship. The book of Hosea illustrates that no one is beyond the offer of our forgiveness because no one sits outside God’s offer of forgiveness. Certainly, God brings judgment on those who turn from Him, but Hosea’s powerful act of restoration within his own marriage set the bar high for those of us seeking godliness in our lives.” Chuck Swindoll

*Lyrics to “Forgiven” written by David Crowder and Ed Cash

YouTube Video – Crowder – Official Music Video – Forgiven

YouTube Video – Story Behind the Song “Forgiven”

Soul Crescendo – Forgiven – Carolyn Majoran

Undying Love – the Story of Hosea and Gomer – Richard L. Strauss

Hosea – Chuck Swindoll

Song Devotional – Forgiven by Crowder – Devotional by Lindsay Williams

Worship Wednesday – Forgiveness by Matthew West – Deb Mills Writer

5 Friday Faves – Great Neighbors, Beyond the Guitar Sheet Music, For the People, Rising Tide Startups, and a Different View on MLK50 Conference

Friday! Let’s jump right in…because Friday flew by this week. Here are my favorite finds:

1) Great Neighbors – Rarely does a day go by that I’m not reminded of what excellent neighbors I have. They treat you like a long-lost friend, home for a holiday, just when you show up for a walk with them on an early morning. [Hopefully that’s not just because I don’t walk enough.] They are quick to celebrate, and even quicker to lend a hand or an ear in a crisis or hard situation. Photo Credit: Jim Casey, QuoteHD

One of our neighbors daily walks another neighbor’s dog for him while he is dealing with chemotherapy. Another regularly surprises us with special treats or whimsical gifts.Photo Credit: Rainbow Symphony Store, QTM Windchimes

The day I had surgery (and cancer would be the doctor’s news), a dear neighbor came to with with Dave for the news. Like I said… great neighbors. Do you have some great neighbors? Please use the Comments below to tell some of your stories. It’s no small thing, is it?

2) Beyond the Guitar Sheet Music – It’s been a crazy week for those of us who follow Beyond the Guitar‘s Nathan Mills. Approaching 3 million views and counting on his arrangement of Fortnite Dances on Guitar. This past week, his sheet music is now being sold on Music Notes. I’m sure it will take awhile for all his arrangements to be available, but that’s where you can find it. Check out his latest piece from the video game Monster Hunter World. I still can’t get over the lovely music in the background of video games.Photo Credit: Nathan Mills, YouTube

Music Notes – Beyond the Guitar Sheet Music

YouTube Video – Monster Hunter World – Relaxing Classical Guitar Music (Beyond the Guitar)

Spotify – Beyond the Guitar

3) For the People – I love courtroom drama and For the People is a 2018 ABC series that has exceeded every expectation. It has a great ensemble cast and terrific writing.Photo Credit: KTUL TV

This past week’s episode had to do with mandatory minimum sentencing even for non-violent crimes. When we consider how much we are willing to pay for safety, the law today can overreach to protect that safety. We don’t even seem to mind…until, maybe, we are the ones caught in that overreach. If you aren’t watching this series, just catch this episode. I would love to hear what you think.

For the People – Season 1, Episode 5 Recap

The snippet below is a spoiler. The acting is penetrating. The message has sparked several conversations. I believe TV like this could actually have a much-needed social impact.

4) Rising Tide Startups – My favorite podcast is Kevin Prewett‘s Rising Tide Startups. This week, his guest was criminal attorney turned chocolatier Shawn Askinosie. During the podcast, he talked about his pursuit of a midlife career change. I was fascinated by his determination to go after something meaningful…and what that meant to him. Especially given his prayer for God to just give him something else to do…anything?

Have you ever been in that situation where you know, for your own sake, you need to do something else?

I was captivated by his story and plan to start reading his book this week. You can listen to this podcast here.

Meaningful Work: A Quest to Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, and Feed Your Soul Shawn Askinosie

Askinosie Chocolates

5) A Different View on MLK50 Conference – My Friday Faves of the previous week included the MLK50 Conference.  The messages of this conference racial reconciliation and racial unity were transforming for me, as a middle-class white woman. I am very thankful for it and now follow many of the speakers on Twitter. I want to keep learning. Following #MLK50Conference, I discovered one of the participants in the conference, Darrell B. Harrison. He is an African American and a theologian. He did not agree with all the language/messaging used at the conference. I was actually caught off guard by his take on the conference.

In a related situation, two groups of people in my life cannot agree on a direction. It is heartbreaking for me to watch them go through this. They both have good reasons for their thinking. That is how Harrison’s view has affected my thinking this week. I continue to greatly value the content of the MLK50 Conference.  Now, Darrell Harrison, in his writing and podcasting, has brought another argument to the table. Both sides are riveting and thought-provoking. His podcast on this topic is here. In a way, it is not easy to listen to…especially since I’m still so close to the MLK50 Conference. Just a different, studied, and thought-provoking viewpoint. So grateful to know him now, too. I still have a way to go on the journey toward racial reconciliation…and I want to get there…wherever “there” is.

Photo Credit: iTunes

Jupiter Hammon, 1787, An Address to Negroes in the State of New York

Photo Credit:  Relg250, History Is Now Magazine

These are my Friday Faves…on a Sunday. Hope your weekend was a delight!

Bonuses:

14 Ideas for a Cross-Cultural-Stress-Busting Laugh Break – Emily Jackson

Photos taken at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden

10 “Secrets” to a Long Marriage

Boundaries, routines and early bedtimes: 13 habits that raise well-adjusted kids

Raising Honest Children

Photo Credit: Kathryn Whitt Visneski

Monday Morning Moment – Adam Grant on 3 Traits of the Highly Functional Workplace

Photo Credit: Pixabay

I love Mondays! It’s ripe with possibility…and prospects of new beginnings. The tricky part of the start of any week is not settling into your work station and returning to the “same ol’, same ol'” – whatever that might entail. Even when we are excited, or at least hopeful for what’s next, we can default to usual rhythms and routines. They are familiar and comfortable (at least on the surface). Neuroplasticitythe brain’s ability to restructure itself after training or practice – can be both our enemy AND our friend.

If you love your work and you see how you fit integrally on your team, and you love your team, that is fantastic! Celebrate that every day! For you, I would just love if you could take a minute and comment below. What do you see at work in your situation? What do you do yourself to nurture that workplace experience?

[Even if you love your job, would you be willing to consider how you could help other teammates to have your experience and move to the top of their professional game?]

Adam Grant is one of those guys who loves his work…and shares generously with all his readers and TED Talk and podcast viewers/listeners.Photo Credit: Flickr

WorkLife with Adam Grant: A TED Original Podcast

Adam (he makes it feel comfortable to refer to him by his first name) is an organizational psychologist and professor at Wharton Business School. He’s authored excellent books and is now moving into a new role as pod-caster. He has affirmed much of what I believe about workplace culture and its impact on day-to-day function, employee engagement, and outcomes/product.

Author, entrepreneur Damon Brown interviewed Adam Grant and posted recently on the traits of companies which are the most highly functional. His findings weren’t surprising to me, but I’d like to hear what you think.

Best-Selling Author Adam Grant: The Most Highly Functional Companies Have These 3 TraitsDamon Brown

3 Traits of the Most Highly Functional Companies:

  1. These companies make a high priority of helping their employees discover both their weaknesses and strengths, together with their coworkers. The goals relate to outcomes, sure, but, as part of that, the professional development of each employee, as well as team cohesion and a “best practice” level of collaboration. How refreshing when both department heads and all stake-holders turn a mirror on themselves for the sake of both the individual and the whole. Having this core value could turn a company on its head…in a good way!Photo Credit: Pixabay
  2. Adam Grant has discovered that many high functioning organizations have flexible hierarchies. You might walk into one of these work meetings and not be able to tell who the “big boss” is. Also, when a decision is made, it is not always top-down. Sure, the decision is given authority from the top, but the process clearly demonstrates and validates the employees closest to a decision (and the impact of the decision) to make that decision. Again, please comment below if you work in such an environment. For me, the whole idea of this is so reasonable and wise. By the way, even if your hierarchy is currently rigid, what would it look like, if you began working toward flexibility? What could be your next steps?Photo Credit: Pixabay
  3. Highly functioning organizations use the word “family” in describing themselves. Not in a smarmy, feel good way, but in actual experience of community and belonging and care. We as colleagues can make this happen within a team, whether it is a top-down experience or not. We communicate and demonstrate, in good faith, that we have each other’s back. We show genuine care for each other and don’t allow ambition or personal preference blind us to the needs of the rest of our team. This actually can eventually have a cross-team impact…if we are patient. If you wonder how, just search on-line for Adam Grant – he has both written and spoken volumes on this.

All three of these traits, or patterns, point to a vision that is highly peopled. It is not just driven from the top. Nor is it owned by one work group over another. A shared vision, in the truest sense of its meaning, gives room for all players…with their varying strengths and weaknesses. There is space for leaders and those who prefer to follow (excellent leaders or even those not-so-much), for the persuaders and those willing to consider the persuasion, for the decision-makers and those who want to speak into the decisions. Your over-all vision might be right but engaging all employees in going after that vision makes for highest function (especially for all you efficiency folks out there). Highest function and greatest care for each employee. That is a vision all of us could share or even own.Photo Credit: Flickr

What all this says to me is that people matter. Not just the most brilliant, bombastic, or brand-worthy, but everyone in the organization. Maybe you already work in such a company. if not, you …each of us can move it in the direction of such a company.

After all…it’s Monday. Who knows what could happen by the end of the week?

Best-Selling Author Adam Grant: The Most Highly Functional Companies Have These 3 TraitsDamon Brown

WorkLife with Adam Grant – Podcast – The Problem with All-Stars

Why Our Brains Fall for False Expertise, and How to Stop It – Khalil Smith

Infographic: 1 of These Four Strengths Is Your Superpower – Damon Brown

Self Sacrifice Won’t Get You Ahead. Wise Leaders Do This Instead – Damon Brown

Monday Morning Moment – Blind Spots…Gulp. What Are Yours?

Photo Credit: Dan Rockwell, Leadership Freak

What do our faces and body language communicate? A friend and I were talking recently about how, as we’ve aged, our faces apparently have a resting pose of anger or disapproval. What?! When we were clued in on this, we both took action to keep a bit of a smile on, as a practice to avoid being misunderstood.

Not really a blind spot or is it? Blind spots are features of our personality (and physicality) that communicate something (usually negative) to others yet we are unaware of it ourselves. Blind spots are not necessarily intentional and if we were made aware of them we might be highly motivated to change or reckon with them.

Do we have blind spots in our posture and our behavior? In our decision-making or execution? Yes…and yes.

This isn’t a case for navel-gazing or over-thinking. We actually can’t discover our own blind spots without the help of others. However, sorting out our blind spots can, in fact, makes for healthier and happier relationships. As we realize how these not-easy-to-see patterns can have impact on work and life.

Following are four takes on blind spots by four business leaders. You seriously might want to jot down any of the blind spots that could be at work in you. Then check out these authors’ take on how to wrestle with these blind spots. Read the full articles by clicking on the links.

Thought leader, and CEO of her own management consulting firm, Davia Teman on 10 Leadership Blind Spots That Can Trigger Business Crises in 2017

Photo Credit: Davia Teman, Forbes

[Teman goes into these 10 surprising “don’ts” in her article here with excellent  counsel on how to get started dealing with these blind spots. Her expertise in crisis management in companies and careers gives weight to the idea of steering clear of over-trust and leaning into tested verification. Fascinating.]

The Top 10 Leadership Blind Spots, and 5 Ways to Turn Them Into StrengthsMarissa Levin – Entrepreneur and CEO of Successful Culture

  1. Going it alone
  2. Being insensitive of your behavior on others
  3. Having an “I know” attitude
  4. Avoiding the difficult conversations
  5. Blaming others or circumstances
  6. Treating commitments casually
  7. Conspiring against others
  8. Withholding emotional commitment
  9. Not taking a stand
  10. Tolerating “good enough”

Levin’s consulting firm provides help with leadership and strategy development, as well as culture-building. I am amazed sometimes what kind of assistance we can get online for such things. You can read more on her 10 leadership blind spots and especially her 5 compelling prescriptions for them here.

Leadership coach, consultant, and blogger Dan Rockwell‘s piece on Sudden Breakthroughs in Subtle Blind Spots

  1. Over-estimating your strengths. You think you’re a great communicator. They think you’re boring.
  2. Over-estimating your approachability. You see yourself as welcoming and open. Teammates nickname you, “Pitbull.”
  3. Over-estimating your listening skills. You think you’re exploring options. In reality, you’re killing ideas, cutting people off, and talking too much.
  4. Over-confidence in your solutions. You call it problem solving. They call it defending your viewpoint and devaluing theirs.
  5. Over-confidence in your ability to understand how others think and feel. You call it insight. They call it out of touch.

Rockwell gives 10 gut-punch but empowering rapid-read prescriptions on how to take blind spots to breakthroughs. Read them here, if you’re ready to deal with those 5 blind spots or others.

7 Leadership Blind Spots That Drive Your Team Crazy – Carey Nieuwhof, Pastor, Leadership Consultant, and Podcaster

  1. Underestimating How Much Work It Takes
  2. Impulsive, Emotion-based Decision Making
  3. Being Indecisive
  4. Being Too Decisive and Not Valuing Input
  5. Creating an Unsustainable Pace
  6. Working Too Few Hours
  7. Expecting Others to Put in More Than You’re Willing to Put In

[Read Nieuwhof’s succinct and helpful commentary on each of these here.]

Months ago, I also wrote about blind spots (here). The following is an excerpt:

Life coach and writer Martha Beck prescribes a way to discover our blind spots.

“I know how valuable honest feedback can be, how much precious time it can save in my struggle to awaken. I still have to force myself to go looking for it, but when I do I almost always benefit.

Try this: For a week, ask for blind-spot feedback from one person a day, never asking the same person twice. Just say it: “Is there anything about me that I don’t seem to see but is obvious to you?” You’ll probably want to start with your nearest and dearest, but don’t stop there. Surprisingly, a group of relative strangers is often the best mirror you can find. I’ve worked with many groups of people who, just minutes after meeting, could offer one another powerful insights. Like the emperor in his new clothes, we often believe that our illusions are confirmed by the silence of people who are simply too polite to mention the obvious. Breaking the courtesy barrier by asking for the truth can change your life faster than anything else I’ve ever experienced.”Martha BeckPhoto Credit: Vimeo

As hard as negative feedback is to stomach, it is a great help to avoid continued odd responses from people or the distancing that can happen when our blind spots get in the way of intimacy and care in relationships.

Now blind spots and “buttons” are different and yet connected. Buttons – those things people do that make us crazy – actually point to some of our blind spots in the way we respond to people pushing those buttons.

For instance, one of my buttons is when someone treats me like I’m stupid, or gullible. Like when a person tries to help me understand a decision he/she has made as if it’s a good thing when I know, and he/she knows, it’s not necessarily a good thing for me. This sort of thing makes me really burn (standing in the need of prayer here). OK…that’s a button, but my response can reveal a blind spot. My blind spot is that if I take a stand in some area then it means that I am “totally right” in that stand. Sort of the same as the button but from a different direction, you know what I’m saying? My blind spot response in that situation leaves little room for figuring out what the other person’s own “stand” truly meant.  It’s helpful to know our blind spots and our buttons so we can work out ways of being more honest and honoring in our communications with colleagues…well, with everyone.

What do you think?

Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots – Martha Beck

What’s Your Blind Spot – Jane Taylor

6 Career Derailing Blind Spots and How to Overcome Them

How Successful People Cure Their Blind Spots – Kevin Kruse

How to Watch Out for Blind Spots in Your Leadership – Lolly Daskal

5 Friday Faves – Right Bus/Wrong Seat, Live Streaming, Words, Mommy Blogs, and the Inevitabilities of Life

Today’s Friday Faves blog comes to you on Saturday. It’s been that kind of week, full to busting. Along with it were fun times with friends, poignant occasions to serve people in crisis, beautiful sunrises and sunsets (plus a Blue Moon), and a few moments of quiet calm to process it all. I hope your week was memorable.

Writing helps me remember (even if it’s a few lines in a journal or on an old-school calendar)…maybe your memory is better. Here are five of my favorite discoveries for the week. Please share yours in Comments below.

1) Right Bus/Wrong Seat – Writer, seminarian Chuck Lawless posted recently on dealing with employees who appear to be on the right bus, but in the wrong seats. He wrote about church culture but

10 Ways to Deal with People on the Right Bus, but in the Wrong Seat

his counsel reminded me of work situations as described by business leader and writer Jim Collins. – in his book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t. Collins focuses on the importance of having the right people “on the bus”. Then he pushes deeper in employers or leaders getting those right people into the right seats. We can find ourselves wondering at times if we’re in the right company when really the question could be that we may not be in the right job within that company. Collins’ approach puts people over product, but he knows the better product will come out of better-positioned people. Right bus/right seat.

Have 100% of the key seats on the bus filled with the right people. This doesn’t mean 100% of ALL seats have the right people, but 100% of the key seats. If you think there might be a “wrong who,” first give the person the benefit of the doubt that perhaps he or she is in the wrong seat. Whenever possible, give a person the chance to prove himself or herself in a different seat, before drawing the conclusion that he or she is a wrong person on the bus.

Spend a significant portion of time on people decisions: get the right people on the bus, get the right people in the right seats, get the wrong people off the bus, develop people into bigger seats, plan for succession, etc. Develop a disciplined, systematic process for getting the right people on the bus. With each passing year, ensure the percentage of people decisions that turn out good versus bad continues to rise. Wendy Maynard, Jim Collins

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’tJim Collins

2) Live Streaming – I am really not fond of paying the high ticket prices required these days for celebrity entertainment. What intrigues me more are the younger (or newer) artists pushing into the public’s eye through live streaming. In 2015, KrueTV was launched, and it has made a huge impact on where I go for music. A live streaming app. Where I get to watch, listen to, and chat with artists who are just beginning to hone their craft. Rough sometimes, but so fresh and very much “in the moment. Beyond the Guitar streamed on Krue from early on. Photo Credit: Screenshot, KrueTV

A community of followers was born there, many of whom support him on Patreon. KrueTV also made it possible for me to meet and enjoy the music of other artists – a young country-western singer from Ohio, an Indie artist from Canada, a sibling band with killer harmonies, a Portuguese singer who brings us all-things-Eurovision. And many others.

The bad news came this week that Krue’s creators are going a different direction. Another app will eventually come, but Krue will be shut down soon. It made all of us sad, all of us who enjoy the streams there.

Beyond the Guitar’s Last Great Stream on KrueTV

Turning that sad into action, the artists continue to stream on Krue for now and commiserate with each other and their fans. Also sorting out what live streaming app to jump on next.

I was surprised to find out that there are several now. GigFM. StreetJelly. Twitch.TV. One of these apps will become my next favorite, depending on where these favorite artists land. Because it’s not just their performances, it’s also the community around them. Never would I have thought, in all my life, that this would become important to me. Online communities. Gamers understand this, but it’s new to me.

Beyond the Guitar’s Latest Arrangement – The Hunger Games: Hanging Tree

3) Words – Any of you who continue to stick with me on this blog know I love words. If you walked into our home, you would see them everywhere. Bookcases in every room. Words on the walls.

Books by my bed and beside my computer. Notes on top of my keyboard. Words that can remind, instruct, encourage.

In my resolve to read more, this year of 2018, I’m currently in the middles of a strange and fascinating book. It is The Elements of Eloquence: Secrets of the Perfect Turn of Phrase by Mark Forsyth. It’s a book about the English language and what makes us love and remember certain phrases by how they are written. I will probably write about this book later, but here are some words that have caused me to think…this week.

The Elements of Eloquence: Secrets of the Perfect Turn of PhraseMark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Blog

Young at Heart (Slightly Older in Other Places) – Day Brightener

4) Mommy Blogs – The blogs I subscribe to are usually about leadership, the Bible, or living cross-culturally. However, lately, “mommy blogs” have come to my attention, thanks to the young women in my life who read and write them. This week, I discovered Liz B. who writes Life in a Coffee Spoon. A mom of two who also works outside the home, she posted this week on the challenges of life that literally drive her to write in order to process it all. Photo Credit: Pixabay

Her writing is like that coffee – real, strong, and just right for when you need it.

Life in a Coffee Spoon – On Mommy Blogging in 2018

Family. Life. Organized – Bekkah Mills

17 Things You Should Do to Every Blog Post Before + After You Hit Publish (Free Checklist) – Melyssa Griffin – for any of you, Dear Ones, thinking of blogging.

5) The Inevitabilities of Life – This has been one of those weeks when life has been full of the inevitable – sickness, hard news, death. There are also the inevitabilities, thankfully, of new babies, good news, and happy anniversaries. This has not been a week of those.

[There was a time just a bit ago that I didn’t take any meds. Then…it happened. The inevitable, I presume.]

Still in the middle of all the hard, I’m struck by the great gift of community, the strength of true friendship and family, the power of prayer. The presence in our lives of a loving God and those we can lean on – good neighbors, first responders, trusted colleagues, and those sainted strangers – all, in their time, are there for us, as we are for them. The leaning in and showing up – in the inevitabilities of life. It’s really quite beautiful…and takes so much of the sting away.

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation [trouble; suffering], but take courage; I have overcome the world.”  – Jesus – John 16:33

So there are my 5’s this week. What are some of yours? Have a safe and splendid weekend, hopefully with those you love or in your own good company.

Bonuses

Photo Credit: Rick Fischler, Facebook

In Which I Am Learning to Live with the Ache – Sarah Bessey

Quote: I am an historian, I am not a believer, but I must confess as a historian that this penniless preacher from Nazareth is irrevocably the very center of history. Jesus Christ is easily the most dominant figure in all history. – H.G. Wells

[I finally saw the Denzel Washington film Fences adapted from August Wilson‘s play….whew.]

“I think my plays offer (white Americans) a different way to look at black Americans,” he told The Paris Review. “For instance, in Fences they see a garbageman, a person they don’t really look at, although they see a garbageman every day. By looking at Troy’s life, white people find out that the content of this black garbageman’s life is affected by the same things – love, honor, beauty, betrayal, duty. Recognizing that these things are as much part of his life as theirs can affect how they think about and deal with black people in their lives.” – August Wilson

TED Talk – Susan David: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage

Prescriptions Without Pills – For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety, and More – Susan Heitler

Photo Credit: Amazon, Susan Heitler

5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar, Picture Quotes, Intriguing Film Trailers, Moral Imagination, and Freebies

Friday! The snow is melting here in Virginia. Today the sky is pale blue, still a little winterish, but the sun has a punch to it like in early Spring. Lovely entry to a birthday weekend. Yep, another year done and another digit on an age that sounds old to me, but I don’t feel it. Thankful.

Here, quickly, are my favorite finds for this week. With family in town, no time for many words, but I still wanted to share these with you. With love.

1) Beyond the Guitar – This guy creates classical guitar arrangements of themes from movies, videogames, and TV shows. Every week, he creates a arrangement, memorizes it, and produces a video – posting every week. I am amazed at his work, and his work ethic. He still does private lessons. Here are his latest two arrangements. If you love them, subscribe to his YouTube channel. Or on his Facebook page, like, comment, and share. You can’t imagine how powerful this is for his music to become known. Enjoy!

The Greatest Showman Medley

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim – Far Horizons

You can also follow Nathan on his Patreon page. You can become a patron as well, if you choose. Thanks!

2) Picture Quotes – We all love picture quotes, right? Especially if you’re a visual learner…that’s me. I just found this website – Lessons Learned in Life. A great source for picture quotes.Photo Credit: Lessons Learned in Life

Photo Credit: Lessons Learned in Life

3) Intriguing Film Trailers – Every season brings its new films. We have finished the Christmas release blockbusters. Now we are teased into buying tickets for the next films coming out. Three trailers this week have really caught my attention. They are listed below:

  • Beirut – a film about the siege of Beirut in 1982. Just watching the trailer was gripping. Check out the comment on the trailer. Impassioned!
  • Don’t Worry He Won’t Get Far on Foot – a biopic on the life of cartoonist John Callahan. Very dark, but fascinating. Probably won’t see it on the big screen…but very intriguing.
  • I Can Only Imagine – Compared to the two very heavy films above, this one I will definitely see. The trailer informs us that it’s the story of how Christian singer Bart Millard (of MercyMe) wrote this incredibly popular song. A song written out of a hard childhood and then seeing God redeem and restore.Photo Credit: Urban Christian News

Any films you want to see after seeing the trailers? Comment below.

4) Moral Imagination –Thanks to the observance of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, conversations on race have abounded this week. I have benefited (see how here).  We have much conflict and much change in our culture. How do we face them all? Writer Trevin Wax posted on the most pressing, most crucial issue for Christians in 2018.

In the West, the most pressing cultural issue facing Christians in 2018 is not external but internal. We suffer from a shriveled moral imagination that has led to a shrunken understanding of the gospel and a corresponding crisis of confidence in its power.

Photo Credit: Slideplayer

In order to face the external cultural pressures of this age, we must find ways to cultivate a Biblically formed imagination so that Christians can resist the powerful pull of nostalgia, see through and see past stale partisan allegiances, and reclaim the importance of character in public and private life. Only a renewed moral imagination can engage stubborn divisions of race and class with something more powerful than the resentment that currently engulfs all sides in the culture wars. – Trevin Wax

5) Freebies – If you are here, reading my blog, I know that’s no small thing. There are so many blogs out there. Thanks for reading mine. This week, I found Kristen Strong‘s blog. Hers is the kind of blog/website I hope to have one day. Chasing Blue Skies – Encouragement for Every Season of Life. Kristen is an author, military wife, mom, and encourager (obviously). She also has a dozen freebies for her readers. Take a look. Photo Credit: Kristen Strong, Mariazwire

As I write I can hear my mom-in-law talk gently to my dad-in-law, as she helps him with his pills. He has Parkinson’s and it has weathered him. She continues faithful in the “for better, for worse” of their almost 62 years of marriage. I’m so glad she could drive down for this weekend to see grands and great-grands and to help me celebrate the aforementioned birthday. What a blessing to have them with us.

Hope you also have a great weekend…whether you have a birthday to celebrate or not. Be gentle with yourself…and those around you. You just never know what a difference it could make.

Bonuses

YouTube Video – The Greatest Showman – “This Is Me” with Keala Settle – a behind-the-scenes making-of video that will knock your socks off. Do not miss this!

YouTube – The Greatest Showman – This Is Me Lyric Video – and now watch this song in the film. Whew!

Quote:Photo Credit: Dwayne Pyle

10 Really Hard Prayers to Pray – Chuck Lawless

Frozen Fog [We’ve had a lot of snow over the last two weeks – well, a lot for us. As beautiful as the snow was, the phenomenon of frozen fog, or hoarfrost, we also saw this week, is rare and magical.Photo Credit: Pixabay

Monday Morning Moment – On Being White in a #BlackLivesMatter America – in Remembrance of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Photo Credit: The Blue Diamond Gallery, Alpha Stock Images

I have never felt so white as in recent years. Even all the years we lived in North Africa weren’t like now. Being white, politically conservative and evangelical, some would say, in our current political and cultural climate, that folks like me come from a camp of perceived unsavories.

That reality is might be changeable as political parties come and go in power. What I would love is to have conversation with you…if you would engage with me in the Comments below…is about the realities of those whose skin and cultural experience is black.

No matter what my heart is toward people of color or my attempts to bridge the racial gaps of this city…is it too little, too late? No. I know it’s not too late, but what can I do definitively to help?

This is what I’m asking and searching out.

When the Rodney King arrest happened and became a cultural phenomenon, we were living in the hills of East Tennessee. Far from the struggles that poverty and racial tension bring to urban America.

With violence in the US on the rise, it is easy to see how edgy police officers could get. Police brutality is never the answer. It is, however, a part of the many problems we have in our country right now.

Don’t Just Blame the Cops: Who Is responsible for America’s Killing Fields? – John W. Whitehead – Huffington Post

[I couldn’t imagine someone I loved being in law enforcement and am grateful for these men and women who try to do right and try to keep us ALL safe.]

What stirred me to write today (besides it being MLK Day) was an account by a friend of mine who was pulled over recently by local police. This friend is well-educated, conservatively dressed, articulate, and kind. He lives in a part of the city that is being revitalized, doing work in a non-profit organization and he has a family. He is also black.

When we talked, he told me this was actually the fourth time he had been stopped for confusing reasons that could have put him in harm’s way, when he wasn’t guilty.

When he was in high school, he was among a group of students gathered by a police officer. The purpose of the class was to teach them “how not to get shot” if ever approached by law enforcement.

My friend has applied those lessons on these multiple “pull overs”.

When he and his wife shared the details of some of these encounters with police, it caused me to be scared for them…and for all those who experience this kind of profiling (because of their color?).

That conversation reminded me of my only experience that was anywhere close to his. [And then, it’s not even close.] Once when we lived in North Africa, a police officer pulled me over, took my papers and refused to return them to me until I paid him “a fee”. I had done nothing wrong, and I couldn’t leave without my papers. Stuck. It was the only time in all the years we lived overseas that I essentially cooperated with a bribe.

As infuriating and exasperating as that North African experience was, I still felt the benefit of white privilege. I had the money to pay him. I, an unaccompanied woman, was driving a car. I knew if I appealed (to anyone in our hearing that day), he may have probably backed off.

A big difference between my friend’s situation and mine was that I knew there was a way out. Not sure of his confidence of that…

Photo Credit: Flickr

The phrase “white privilege” feels wrong, to be honest, and I chafe in every conversation where it comes up. I wanted to be a person who has tried to be “color  blind”. The problem with that “color blindness” is our black neighbors, coworkers, friends don’t have that option. I’m beginning to see and acknowledge how privileged I am in so many ways. This is what I used to call “blessed” which had no color attached. Unfortunately, when my friend shares his experiences, I want to agree with him. There is privilege attached to my life. If there is privilege, then how do I use it for the sake of others?… This friend of mine has his own privilege through education and class, BUT the color of his skin trumps all of that.

YouTube Video – If Someone Doesn’t Understand Privilege, Watch This

On Sunday, at the start of our church service, I saw, sitting by our pastor, a person of color, wearing the “pastor’s mic”.  I’d been praying for some time that when we added to our staff, we would seek a black man or woman. When Rayshawn Graves was introduced as our speaker, I forgot for a moment that his presence was aligned with our observance of MLK Day. Initially my heart thrilled at the possibility that he was preaching “in view of a call”. Oh well (I would find out later)…he is contentedly on staff at Redemption Hill Church in Richmond.

Rayshawn preached out of Ephesians 2:11-16 on the reconciling of Jewish and Gentile believers. He also preached on Galatians 2:11-16 on how racism can creep into even the most devout believers if we aren’t careful. His message was so encouraging to me as a white believer desiring to figure how to deal with racism in America (what could I do?). My takeaways from his assuring and equipping sermon follow:

  • Racism is a sin which will always be present. It separates and isolates us from God and each other.
  • Jesus died for that sin as for all other sins.
  • Through Him, we can have the guilt of that sin removed. We can all be free to live in unity with God and each other.
  • Our identity in Christ is above every other identity we may have.
  • We don’t have to live out guilt (as whites) or the hurt of racism (as blacks). We belong to Christ and we are called to live that out – loving God, loving others, making every effort to keep and preserve the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:2-3).
  • We are called to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2) – within the church and with marginalized peoples especially. Unless we come close to each other, and have heart conversations, how will we know what those burdens are?
  • Because our identity is in Christ, and we love Him and want to be like Him, we make a habit of being proactive in pursuing reconciliation.

You can listen to Rayshawn’s sermon in entirety here. So helpful.

#BlackLivesMatter: A Guide for Confused White People – Sarah Wotaszak

YouTube Video – A Biblical Response on Race – Sermon by Tony Evans

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

As we pause on Martin Luther King Day and reflect on the sobering issue of racism in our country, and world, we can be hopeful. The hope must be grounded in what has already been done for us to be unified…and what we can do, based on truth, towards racial reconciliation. Still thinking of my friend, somehow profiled by law enforcement, I am more resolved than ever before to reach out in as many directions as possible. May God open doors and bring unity.

Providence Is No Excuse: Exposing a Reformed White Supremacist – Daniel Kleven

Postscript: Below I have excerpted just a few of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s observations on what was happening in his day. He wrote these to a group of white pastors who had expressed concern about his actions.  He wrote from the Birmingham jail where he was imprisoned for nonviolent demonstrations against segregation.

[Bold emphases are mine. Read his letter in its entirety here.]

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.
History is the long and tragic story of the fact that privileged groups seldom give up their privileges voluntarily. Individuals may see the moral light and voluntarily give up their unjust posture; but, as Reinhold Niebuhr has reminded us, groups are more immoral than individuals.
“Justice too long delayed is justice denied.”
I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate…the white moderate who is more devoted to order than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice…
I am coming to feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.
Photo Credit: Flickr
I gradually gained a bit of satisfaction from being considered an extremist. Was not Jesus an extremist in love? — “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you.” Was not Amos an extremist for justice? — “Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.” Was not Paul an extremist for the gospel of Jesus Christ? — “I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.” Was not Martin Luther an extremist? — “Here I stand; I can do no other so help me God.” Was not John Bunyan an extremist? — “I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a mockery of my conscience.” Was not Abraham Lincoln an extremist? — “This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.”  Was not Thomas Jefferson an extremist? — “We hold these truths to be self – evident, that all men are created equal.” So the question is not whether we will be extremist, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate, or will we be extremists for love?

Monday Morning Moment – Going After Big Goals When Life Seems Small – with Benjamin P. Hardy

Photo Credit: Flickr

If you search within my website for author and productivity coach Benjamin P. Hardy, you’ll find he’s a favorite of mine. In fact, this blog will be my 15th highlighting his prescriptions on getting where we hope to go.

Today is his 30th birthday. Happy birthday, Buddy! It is just a tad annoying that this guy is so young and yet has done the hard work of getting to this peak place in his life. However, it’s a bravo and high five because, in truth, he practices what he preaches. I have learned from him and been encouraged by him to reach for what some days feels impossible. So thanks, Benjamin Hardy!

This morning, as much as I love Mondays, was one of those rare mental low, “life seems small” starts to the week. It didn’t last long thankfully. One reason is the ritual I have (which he also strongly emphasizes) – waking early, high-protein breakfast, quiet time (for me in Scripture & prayer), exercise, and goal-setting. Mind you, I am not always successful in this, and at times, the goal-setting part does me in. That’s why his birthday post today was providential.

This blog was a longer than usual read (17 minutes) but had a huge positive push for me and I will share highlights and takeaways. Maybe you can read it in full at lunch. Worth your time.

How to 1) Get Into Peak States, 2) Make Bold Decisions, 3) Invest in Yourself, and 4) Achieve Your Most Audacious Goals – Benjamin P. Hardy

Don’t be put off by what sounds a bit like an infomercial from some jazzy motivational speaker trying to see you his product. His astuteness related to productivity is matched by his generosity in sharing with whomever wants to benefit. Hardy does have a book coming out in March 2018 – Willpower Doesn’t Work: Discover the Hidden Keys to Success. I look forward to reading it.

Anyway, quickly, back to the epiphany ushered in by his blog. Here are the quotes to set foundation:

“You get in life what you tolerate, as Tony Robbins has said. And most people have developed tolerances for distraction and addiction. They’ve become okay with it. They’ve settled for that reality….the root cause of their problems is always themselves. Even if the actual problem is something (or someone) in your environment, it’s up to you to make that change.”

“To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.,A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions.’”

“When you act, then you start to get clarity. In order to achieve your goals, you need to become the person who can have those goals.”

“Most people are very disconnected from themselves. They are living in an addictive and reactive state. In those few moments when people purposefully pull themselves from their mesmerized state of unconscious, peak experiences happen. They are predictable. You can create them. What if you made being in a peak state a priority? What if you literally needed to operate at peak levels on a daily basis in order to achieve your goals? What if that was your standard?”

“Being in a peak state means you’re operating at the level you want to be, so that you can achieve ambitions beyond anything you’ve done before.”

“…a ship without a sail. They go wherever life takes them. Theirs’ is a random and unconscious evolution. Their behaviors are reactive and without much consequence. It doesn’t matter if they blow several hours roaming around on the internet. However, if you want to set a new path in your life, you need to make a powerful and definitive decision.”

After my walk this morning, and an incidental conversation with a good friend (read answered prayer I didn’t even know I asked)…a peak mental state, as described by Hardy, emerged. I have more focus, resolve, and confidence.

Some of Hardy’s takeaways for me today are:

  • Shake off negative, small life thoughts, and put yourself into a peak state mentally…then make that decision/goal. (He gives how-to’s in his post.
  • Keep that decision ever before you (in whatever way is most effective). I’m visual – it’s written and posted as a frequent reminder.
  • Invest in that decision (brings skin into the game…yours). Commit in such a way that there’s no easy way out. Invest yourself in your own future. [For some, this probably makes perfect sense…it’s hard for me to do; that investing in my own development.]
  • Put yourself in proximity with the people who will most invest in you and your goals and who care enough about you to tell you the truth. Take the time to do the work of gathering that sort of team.
  • Be honest with yourself about what needs to happen to reach that goal, then do what you have to do to be prepared for that goal to happen. [I know, it sounds both hard and exciting, right?]
  • Be grateful; stay humble.  Be grateful; stay humble. Be grateful…
  • Fight for the goal you’ve made. You made it in a peak state, such that you know that you know that you know it’s your right direction (a word from God, a burning passion, a deep longing). You fight for it; no one else will care the same as you care about it.
  • Photo Credit: Twitter

Benjamin P. Hardy is living the life. He still contends with deadlines and sick kids and freezing cold days. He’s not my hero or anything… BUT as a complete stranger, he encourages me not to give up, and to take this day as the precious gift it is and not treat it like it’s small.

Reactive, distracted, addicted…doesn’t win today. Hope the same for you!

5 Friday Faves – Christmas Commercials, Uncommon Generosity, Star Wars – the Last Jedi, Starbucks Lemon Loaf Knockoff Recipe, and Beyond the Guitar’s Latest

Happy Friday, y’all! As we zoom into Christmas weekend, we run into that perfect storm of hope mixed with hype. Looking forward to time with family and friends highlighted by the glow of Christmas lights and the fragrance of mulled cider. At the same time, tamping down those dreaded expectations of yourself or others that steal our peace. As those expectations are again put in check, the missing of those we won’t see this Christmas rises to the surface. Maybe not for you, but for me, it’s a bit of a crazy ride at Christmastime.

Fortunately, woven through all of that is the moment-by-moment epiphany when Jesus breaks through with glimpses of who he is and what he has done for us. That Jesus turns sorrow to joy and calms that stormy sea of thought and memory. Hallelujah!

This week, there are so many favorite finds…but I will keep my list to five. We all have baking to do…and visits to make, and for some, a workday to wrap up before Christmas weekend. Hope your joy is undisturbed and the memories are sweet.

1) Christmas Commercials – For those who don’t have cable or network TV, you miss the Christmas commercials. Check them out on YouTube. Below are some of my favorites – the top 3 are all from the UK. My personal favorite this past year was the #HeathrowBears commercials – this one, in particular and then this one. What are some of your favorite Christmas commercials (please share in Comments)?

John Lewis Christmas Ad 2017

BBC One Christmas 2017

The Fox and the Mouse – 2017

Top 15 Most Touching Christmas Commercials That Will Warm Your Heart

2) Uncommon Generosity – Have you noticed that people actually look at each other in this Christmas season? Smiles of knowing – searching out that special gift or trying to sort out what favorites to cook and buy food accordingly. I find people to be kinder this time of year – both in charitable giving and in the day-to-day just deferring to others. When I was walking with neighbors earlier this week, a box, giftbag and card were posted outside a house, left with the garbage pickup one day, and another beside the recycling the next. So kind to remember, in very tangible ways, people who serve in our community. Also, I had the experience of helping friends move on one of busiest weekends of the Christmas season. Friends and coworkers showed up to help – all smiles and sweet attitudes.

Then there are those lovely people who make Christmas cookies and share plates of them with their neighbors – and their mom and dad.

I’m finding that often what we look for we see. Also blessed this week by other reminders of generosity: a quote from a Writer Kahlil Gibran and a thrift shop t-shirt front (printed with Philippians 2:3-4).

3) Star Wars – the Last Jedi – I LOVED it. The details. The humor. The tears. The fight scenes. It was so well-done. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I’m trying to hold loosely to Christmas traditions these days, but going to the movies as a family has been a long-time tradition for us. Of late, it’s been the Star Wars movies. This year it was all the guys and me. Our girls stayed home with the babies, and we missed them. It was a great time though watching this film, my favorite guys and me. A very special memory made.

[I’m ready to babysit for the kiddos, so you two couples can have a date night to see it together.]

[Spoilers in articles below so don’t read if you haven’t seen it.]

The All-Stars of ‘Star Wars’ – Interview with David Itzkoff

The Last Jedi: Have You Seen It? Let’s Talk Spoilers – Gilbert Cruz and Dave Gonzalez

The Best Movies of 2017 – Think Christian

4) Starbucks Lemon Loaf Knockoff – If you like the Starbucks lemon loaf, then you will love the “better than Starbucks” recipe that Erin of Delightful E Made posted at Lil Luna. I made this recipe this week and it was a-mazing!!! A friend of mine had a birthday this week and gave lemon cake as a favorite of hers – she LOVED this cake. It would stick around, just letting you know. Read the comments of the piece above for others’ views on it.Photo Credit: Lil Luna

5) Beyond the Guitar’s Latest Arrangement – Nathan just posted his latest this morning. It is the theme from the Netflix series The Punisher and it is gorgeous.  I won’t be watching the series because it is very much about punishing people who do bad things so there is a lot of blood and very big guns involved. If you have watched it, or if not, you will enjoy this beautiful piece.

That’s it for me. Hope your Christmas weekend is full of joy, and when it’s not, may you experience deep comfort. Much love.

Bonuses:

A Quote from this week: In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of the things not meant for you.”Jack Kornfield

A Christmas Question – a Sermon by Charles Spurgeon, 1859

A Twitter “event” where folks retweet and reply to Sam Altman’s tweet below:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/heres-why-everyone-should-have-sales-job-some-point-halarewich-

A New Holiday Tradition—Better Than Giving Gifts

Seasonal Thrift Store Finds

5 Friday Faves – Rey’s Theme by Beyond the Guitar, Letting Go of Expectations, Together at Christmastime, Christmas Memories, and Christmas Words

It always happens. We are halfway through December, just 10 days until Christmas, and life is in a bit of disarray. I’m way behind on John Piper’s daily Advent readings, and the only present under the tree is one given to me by a house guest. However, from another vantage point, there is still this moment to redeem and still 10 days until Christmas. Although a week has gone by without writing or posting, today will be different. Here are five of my favorite things of this week. I hope you can take a moment, with your favorite hot beverage, and just soak up what’s here. With love and blessings!

1) Rey’s Theme by Beyond the Guitar – As the much-awaited film Star Wars: The Last Jedi lights up the screen, a new arrangement by Beyond the Guitar is also posted. Rey’s Theme performed on classical guitar by Nathan Mills, surrounded by sand dunes, is lovely, both musically and visually. I’m even more ready to see the film.

STAR WARS: Rey’s Theme – Classical Guitar Cover (BeyondTheGuitar)

2) Letting Go of Expectations – Part of what makes any family tradition tricky is that family is a very fluid organism. It grows and changes, and traditions will reflect those changes. Marriage, babies, sometimes divorce and death. Work and school schedules. Altered preferences through the years. They all have an impact. The most beautiful part of family traditions is not the year-to-year repetition of treasured events or rituals – it is the people. Sometimes people get lost in the planning or pulling off of traditions through the years. Just today my friend Kathy alerted me to Suzanne Eller’s piece Don’t Make Your Grown Kids Hate Christmas. It came at an excellent time. In fact, the author could have included a byline And the Same Goes for the Parents. Being gentle with each other goes a long way. Letting go of expectations…especially when a tradition warms our hearts, and the people we love are attached to those traditions…is not easy! However, for the the sake of the relationships, we wrestle our expectations to the ground. We will refuse to be robbed of the joy meant for us in this season…that joy transcends traditions.Photo Credit: Clarity With Charity

I’m Dreaming of an Imperfect Christmas – How to Release Holiday Expectations – Clarity With Charity

Be Kind – Ken Sande

3) Together at Christmas –  When Christmas morning dawns this year, it will be just Dave and me. We will have had our kids all together two days prior. Our youngest works Christmas Day, and when he gets off, we will have dinner together and then it’s off to see Dave’s parents and extended family later in the week.

At first, my heart went to ache right off, thinking of a too-quiet Christmas morning. Now, I am settled. This month like so many Decembers has filled up with hectic, and quiet was way elusive. Maybe this Christmas morning, in the seeming too quiet, we will find what all month we’ve longed for…like Mary and Joseph, alone in that stable, we will welcome the Christ child.

Beyond that sweetness?

Still looking forward to all the laughter, familiarity, beauty and noise of being together with family at Christmastime. Amy Grant’s song To Be Together says it perfectly.

Looking back, early in our marriage, we were states away from both sets of parents. We made that young couple decision of not traveling with little ones on Christmas and our parents were kind to do the traveling. As the time for their arrival got close, our kids would stand like little soldiers, pressed against the living room window, watching the street for their grandparents. As they got older, both the children and the grands, we did more of the traveling. Little compares with that long-awaited reunion with our family.

Ever how imperfect our family situations may be, there is profound hope and love in our continued showing up, no matter what. I love that about Christmas. That opportunity. That possibility.

4) Christmas Memories – The memories are part of the legacy of those family traditions and coming together whenever we can. I’m thankful for memories of my own childhood with parents who loved us generously. Even with limited resources, they made Christmas magical. When their faith in God was rekindled, they reconnected with church, and us with them. We discovered in that community what really makes Christmas worth celebrating. The birth of the promised Savior.  What was once magical became both mysterious and miraculous. All through the years, the wonder of Christmas has multiplied for me.

Last Christmas, our Dad died. Fourteen years prior to that, our Mom.

The memories of all our times together seem to blossom especially at Christmas…like Dave’s mom’s cactus. So thankful.

5) Christmas Words – Every year we watch the short film A Charlie Brown Christmas. In it, Linus explains to Charlie Brown what Christmas is all about:

Simple and profound…taken straight out of Scripture (Luke 2:8-14).

You can be sure I love words. In fact, I will even risk difficult to hear words over silence.  Quiet is appropriate at times, but neglecting to speak when words could make a difference is just wrong. Even when we don’t know what to say…I think people will understand our hearts when our words don’t quite hit the mark. What do you think?

On my computer, there’s a folder entitled Christmas Blessings – quotes I’ve collected over the years. Below are a sample (all these I originally found in Good Reads). Hope these words bless you as they do me.

“And when we give each other Christmas gifts in His name, let us remember that He has given us the sun and the moon and the stars, and the earth with its forests and mountains and oceans–and all that lives and move upon them. He has given us all green things and everything that blossoms and bears fruit and all that we quarrel about and all that we have misused–and to save us from our foolishness, from all our sins, He came down to earth and gave us Himself.” ― Sigrid Undset

“The reality of loving God is loving him like he’s a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely gave you some stuff.” ― Criss Jami, Killosophy

“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we’re here for something else besides ourselves.”
Eric Sevareid

“Are you willing to stoop down and consider the needs and desires of little children; to remember the weaknesses and loneliness of people who are growing old; to stop asking how much your friends love you, and to ask yourself if you love them enough; to bear in mind the things that other people have to bear on their hearts; to trim your lamp so that it will give more light and less smoke, and to carry it in front so that your shadow will fall behind you; to make a grave for your ugly thoughts and a garden for your kindly feelings, with the gate open? Are you willing to do these things for a day? Then you are ready to keep Christmas!” ― Henry Van Dyke

“What’s special about a story if I could have thought it up? What’s special about a story if I was actually courageous enough to play a part in it? What’s special about the Christmas story is that I am incapable of doing either but God did both.”
Craig D. Lounsbrough

“Odd that a festival to celebrate the most austere of births should end up being all about conspicuous consumption.”
Jeanette Winterson, Christmas Days: 12 Stories and 12 Feasts for 12 Days

“But I don’t like it, okay? I don’t like how everything is changing. It’s like when you’re a kid, you think that things like the holidays are meant to show you how things always stay the same, how you have the same celebration year after year, and that’s why it’s so special. But the older you get, the more you realize that, yes, there are all these things that link you to the past, and you’re using the same words and singing the same songs that have always been there for you, but each time, things have shifted, and you have to deal with that shift. Because maybe you don’t notice it every single day. Maybe it’s only on days like today that you notice it a lot. And I know I’m supposed to be able to deal with that, but I’m not sure I can deal with that.” ― David Levithan, The Twelve Days of Dash and Lily

“What images do I associate with the Christmas music as I see them set forth on the Christmas Tree?… An angel, speaking to a group of shepherds in a field; some travelers, with eyes uplifted, following a star; a baby in a manger; a child in a spacious temple, talking with grave men; a solemn figure, with a mild and beautiful face, raising a dead girl by the hand; again, near a city gate, calling back the son of a widow, on his bier, to life; a crowd of people looking through the opened roof of a chamber where he sits, and letting down a sick person on a bed, with ropes; the same, in a tempest, walking on the water to a ship; again, on a sea-shore, teaching a great multitude; again, with a child upon his knee, and other children round; again, restoring sight to the blind, speech to the dumb, hearing to the deaf, health to the sick, strength to the lame, knowledge to the ignorant; again, dying upon a cross, watched by armed soldiers, a thick darkness coming on, the earth beginning to shake, and only one voice head. “Forgive them, for they know not what they do!”
Charles Dickens, A Christmas Tree

Quotes About Christmas – Good Reads

Bonuses:

Gut Check Podcast – A podcast like no other – with Ted Kluck and Zach Bartles

Life On the Other Side – The Humbled Homemaker – Erin Odom

The Brain Benefits of Your Child’s Dinosaur Obsession – Kate Morgan