Tag Archives: control

Monday Morning Moment – Extreme Ownership – the Greater Good of Both Taking Responsibility and Letting Go of Control

Photo Credit: Echelon Front, Facebook

When we see individuals in the military with some form of Special Forces training and experience, we are captivated and sorely aware of how different they are from most of us. That level of discipline, courage, expertise and physicality is uncommon. Nothing I ever imagined for myself. Still what can we learn from these leaders that we can apply to life and work?

Although the book Extreme Ownership was published in 2015, it was unknown to me until this weekend. Thanks to my Twitter feed and then reading some reviews, I ordered my own personal copy. The authors, and former Navy SEAL team commanders, Jocko Willink and Leif Babin are heroes and the stuff of legend.

[OK…I haven’t read the book yet…pre-ordered the latest edition coming out November 21, 2017. however, the reviews and summaries (listed in the links below) have already been so informative, I will gush away even before reading the book. So sink your teeth into these bits below until we have both read the book…or have you already read it?]

The phrase extreme ownership really tantalized because it spoke to my own leader heart. It resonates with servant leadership which is hard to fathom as a norm in military structure and authority. The idea of everyone on a team, in an organization, owning their part of a vision or operation is thrilling to me. It makes sense that this would, of course, lead to highest performance…provided…and this is imperative: the leadership, up and down the organization, is equipping each team member, communicating thoroughly, and sharing decision-making as appropriate.

Leadership coach Brian Dodd was the one who first guided me to the book Extreme Leadership through his blog: 25 Lessons on Extreme Ownership – How the U.S. Navy SEALS LEAD And WIN. Some of his points from the book are:

  1. “Without a team – a group of individuals working to accomplish a mission – there can be no leadership.  The only meaningful measure for a leader is whether the team succeeds or fails.”
  2. “For leaders, the humility to admit and own mistakes and develop a plan to overcome them is essential to success.  The best leaders are not driven by ego or personal agendas.  They are simply focused on the mission and how best to accomplish it.”
  3. “Leaders must own everything in their world.  There is no one else to blame.”
  4. “There are only two types of leaders: effective and ineffective.  Effective leaders that lead successful, high-performance teams exhibit Extreme Ownership.  Anything else is simply ineffective.  Anything else is bad leadership.”
  5. “Leadership isn’t one person leading a team.  It is a group of leaders working together, up and down the chain of command, to lead.”
  6. “Ego clouds and disrupts everything: the planning process, the ability to take good advice, and the ability to accept constructive criticism.  It can even stifle someone’s sense of self-preservation.  Often, the most difficult ego to deal with is your own.”
  7. “As a leader, it doesn’t matter how well you feel you have presented the information or communicated an order, plan, tactic, or strategy.  If your team doesn’t get it, you have not kept things simple and you have failed.  You must brief to ensure the lowest common denominator on the team understands.”
  8. “Human beings are generally not capable of managing more than six to ten people.”
  9. “Trust is not blindly given.  It must be built over time.  Situations will sometimes require that the boss walk away from a problem and let junior leaders solve it, even if the boss knows he might solve it more efficiently.”

Business leader Tom Niesen also lists his takeaways from the book, and they align nicely with the other summaries I read:

  1. Mission (Commander’s Intent and Effectiveness)
  2. It is on the leader! (Assuming a good “hire,” now, it is the leader).
  3. Extreme Ownership – everyone believes in the “why”, understands the “why”, and then pursues the “what”. Beginning with the leader. But, everyone “owns it all”.
  4. Get rid of the undermining, not-carrying-the-load, under-performer [this should be a rare necessity in extreme ownership but it can happen].
  5. Get very good at information sharing.
  6. Simplify! Keep it simple. (Not simplistic – simple).
  7. Communicate – thoroughly communicate. Up and down and all around. Confirm that the communication was sent and received and understood.
  8. Prioritize and execute. – [Tom Niesen’s summary of Extreme Ownership]

I hope these two summaries (and others in the links below) will whet your appetite to consider reading Willink’s and Babin’s book. Especially  consider taking steps toward extreme ownership in your business or organization.

Sometimes, we struggle in leadership to trust those around us to speak into decisions or even to carry out their assignments without us hovering. Worse is when we just don’t trust others and, as a result, take too much responsibility on ourselves or just a few trusted members of the team. I’ve learned through my life to take joy in the many…even with all its messiness.

I’m reminded of a proverb along these lines:

Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.  Proverbs 14:4Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

If we want processes neat and tidy, we must hold tight to control and keep our trust to a very few colleagues.

Extreme ownership requires a great deal from leaders. We must operate with wisdom and excellence to fully equip our teams and then to give them the freedom to execute. Clear and full communication, up and down the command chain, greases the tracks for this kind of operation. Shouldering personal responsibility at all levels is also crucial, but the key is ultimately the executive leader takes full responsibility in the end…especially if something goes wrong.

I love this concept of extreme ownership. Who’s with me? Fortunately we can apply these principles without having to go through the grueling process of being a Navy SEAL. Thanks, Gentlemen, for your incredible service.Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALS Lead and Win – Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

25 Lessons on Extreme Ownership – How the U.S. Navy SEALS LEAD And WIN – Brian Dodd

United States Navy SEAL Teams

Here are my 8 Lessons and Takeaways from Extreme Ownership by former Navy SEALs Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

Extreme Ownership – Leadership Lessons From the SEAL Team – Gerardo A. Dada

Extreme Leadership Training

YouTube Video – Extreme Ownership – Jocko Willink – TEDx University of Nevada

New Release (November 21, 2017) – Extreme Ownership: How US Navy SEALS Lead and Win – Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

Extreme Leadership – Leading Blog @LeadershipNow – Michael McKinney

Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink – Book Summary & PDF – Paul Minors

15 Minute Business Books – First Friday Book Synopsis

Monday Morning Moment – How an Accidental Diminisher Becomes a Multiplier

Liz Wiseman has written on this brilliantly in her leadership book – Multipliers – How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter . Wiseman is the president of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm, headquartered in Silicon Valley, California.

Blog - Liz Wiseman

Photo Credit: LiveIntentionally.org

I first heard her speak at the Global Leadership Summit this year. This engaging young woman clearly has had multipliers in her own life and has obviously learned from some diminishers as well.

On the inside cover of Wiseman’s book Multipliers, she defines two terms: “Diminishers” and “Multipliers”:

“The first type drain intelligence, energy, and capability from the ones around them and always need to be the smartest ones in the room. These are idea killers, the energy sappers, the diminishers of talent and commitment. On the other side of the spectrum are leaders who use their intelligence to amplify the smarts and capabilities of the people around them…These are the leaders who inspire employees to stretch themselves to deliver results that surpass expectations.” – Liz Wiseman

Photo Credit: Slideshare

[Sidebar – Diminishers are not necessarily evil people. Their focus could be so tuned to the endgame that people and processes get lost in the pursuit. It’s possible some are accidental diminishers. Hopefully they will have an “aha!” moment, maybe through the multipliers in their own lives. They, too, could change their habits and disciplines.]Photo Credit: Multipliers Books

A diminisher (accidental or not) holds tightly to control, is exclusive (tribal) in her relationships, gives rationale that seems well-thought-out but demeans the hearer, wants the stage, breaks down trust, and lacks care or respect for those in her charge. I shudder at the possibility that I could become such a person…but it is possible for any of us to stray into the relational style of a diminisher.

A hard-wired diminisher may not be able to change – wouldn’t see her thinking or methods as a problem, in fact, sees them as part of how she ended up in charge. However, an accidental diminisher could recover…if he saw what was happening…through over-work, too much responsibility, or having personally experienced the ill of diminishing and taking on its qualities without being aware.

I want to always be a multiplier – one who genuinely cares for people, who inspires confidence in others, who sees the possibilities, who risks by giving over control to another, who stirs thinking and enlarges the lives of those in his/her circle of influence…a circle that’s widely inclusive.

Being a leader is a humbling, stretching experience and, for the sake of those under your watch in your workplace or organization, we want to offer the best leadership we can, right? However, we can all fall prey to habits over time that diminish others.

Forging disciplines that keep us from diminishing is wisdom. Liz Wiseman and Greg McKeown offer three points from which to start:

  1. Shift from giving answers to asking questions. The best leaders don’t provide all the answers, they ask the right questions.
  2. Dispense your ideas in small doses. If you are an idea guy who is prone to tossing out more ideas than anyone can catch, you have “the gift of gab.” Try articulating your ideas in increments. Introduce fewer ideas and leave white space. First, it creates room for others to contribute, and second, your words will be heard more frequently and will be more influential.
  3. Expect complete work. People learn best when they are fully accountable and face the consequences of their work. Ask people to go beyond pointing out problems. Ask them to find a solution. By wrestling with it themselves, they’ll grow their capability and be able to operate more independently.

Wiseman also talks about effective leaders (or multipliers) as operating in the role of change agentsdo we reserve the right to make the final decision every time or do we wrestle through decisions with those most affected by them? The latter can definitely be more messy but is also more effective and honoring.

“Multipliers invoke each person’s unique intelligence and create an atmosphere of genius—innovation, productive effort, and collective intelligence…He’ll outstretch all your capabilities to make it happen. He is highly demanding, but you feel great. You know you are signing up for something that will challenge you on a daily basis for many years to come. You will challenge yourself and all your capabilities…Exhilarating, exhausting, challenging, gratifying. He’s a big source of energy. He is a source of power and a tail-wind for what we do.”  – Liz Wiseman

Thank you, Liz Wiseman. You are a wise woman (I’m sure you get this all the time…couldn’t resist). Thank you, to all those multipliers in my life’s journey.

Read Wiseman’s book. I’d love to hear your stories of multipliers in your life…and any diminishers that you learned from but (hopefully) were not diminished in the season you were together…maybe you became a multiplier in that person’s life. Journey strong, Friends.*

Multipliers – How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman with Greg McKeown

*Excerpts from my previous blog: Liz Wiseman’s Leadership Book on Multipliers and the Story of a Multiplier in Our Lives – Deb Mills Writer

Are You an Accidental Diminisher? – Liz Wiseman & Greg McKeown

Leadership Mindset – Are You a Multiplier or a Diminisher? – Tony Flatau

Can a Diminisher Become a Multiplier?

The Shadow Side of Leadership – Jesse Lyn Stoner – [Read comments]

Slideshare – The Multipliers – Why Some Leaders Create Genius Everywhere – Greg McKeown

YouTube Video – Leaders as Multipliers with Liz Wiseman

YouTube Video – Liz Wiseman – The Multiplier Effect 0

Multipliers Quotes from GoodReads

2013 Global Leadership Summit Session 3a: Liz Wiseman

Brian Dodd – 4 Leadership Lessons From Mt. Rainier and the Inc. 500 Fastest Growing Business List – another example of a Multiplier

Monday Morning Moment – Turning Around a Work Culture – From “Not Good Enough” to “Job Well Done”

blog-demanding-bosses-linkedin-dave-kerpenPhoto Credit: LinkedIn – Dave Kerpen

Aha moments can occur in all sorts of settings. My latest happened during our pastor’s sermon this week. Toward the end of a deep and fascinating exposition of Colossians 2, Pastor Cliff reminded us that we are not meant to earn God’s approval. He gives it unconditionally. Then Cliff talked about how we get caught in the trap of “It’s never enough!” when thinking of our efforts or accomplishments. Then “It’s never enough” or “Not good enough” too easily turns into “You’re not good enough.” This is the place where what we do intersects with who we are…

Switch from the Sunday Bible lesson to the Monday workplace application. I’m not talking the unconditional love of God here, but what happens to us in continuous feedback loops. Stay with me…This made me think uncomfortably about the way I once operated in the area of idea generation and innovation.

I am “an editor”…it gives me great satisfaction to take a document or process and make it better. Recently a friend asked me to edit his manuscript. It’s going to be such a great read…can’t wait for it to be published. Still, there will be lots of edits. For me, being an early reader, I just took care of some grammar and flow issues. There will be more qualified editors down the road. It’s enough for me to do quick, elementary edits and wildly praise the author and his riveting storyline, cheering him on to the next steps of publishing.

The tweaking that I used to do regularly in my earlier professional life was more intense in those days…and less forgiving. I wanted it (whatever it was) to be right, and it was my immodest opinion that I could get it to right. Especially when evaluating someone else’s work (ironically, I was less hard on my own work – figuring it was perfect already, right? Sigh…). The tweaking of another era has come round to a newish process called iteration.

One definition of iteration is the “process of learning and development that involves cyclical inquiry, enabling multiple opportunities for people to revisit ideas and critically reflect on their implication”. These feedback loops are meant to be fast-paced with the finish in view.

ScenarioPhoto Credit: SafariBooksOnline

Where iteration (or tweaking) breaks down (if I might be so bold) is when it’s taken well past rapid feedback loops into a realm of fine-tuning that has the team guessing “will it ever be good enough?” Product design and process development are vital to any company, but what we must also consider is the team or personnel involved.

If the feedback loops relate to the launch of a new product or a new business process, excitement and brainstorming are part of the momentum. Continuing to tweak over months instead of weeks before the launch can take a negative toll on the team. No one wants to forfeit excellence, but we don’t want to lose excellent personnel either.

blog-demanding-bosses-lifehackerPhoto Credit: Lifehacker

Trusting the judgment of our best thinkers is worth the risk of possibly releasing a product or service when we may not all be sure it’s “perfect”. That is what beta-testing is all about…the feedback that then comes to us from the consumer or user.

I’m really talking out of my element here (not being a designer or innovator so much as a lifelong learner). My leap from the sermon to the workplace relates to my own past struggle with wanting something with my name on it to be perfect while exhausting my teammates  with “what if we do this?” or “What if we say it this way?”

What a gift for us to take a well-thought-out proposal and, instead of putting it through the “just not good enough” wringer, we read it and pass it back to that colleague and say, “Good job”…empowering them to execute the proposal. How often does that happen these days?

Please share stories [in the Comments] of work situations where you experienced genuine affirmation for a job well-done.

Recently when water started backing up into the kitchen sink, I was afraid that it was something I had done. Too liberal using the disposal, for instance. Dave was out of town and nothing I could do would remedy the situation. Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, in desperation, I called our plumber (Richmonders, if you need a good plumber, email me, and I will give you his contact info). He came and fixed the problem, and best of all, it wasn’t my fault, after all. This young man literally LOVES his job and was kind to take the time, after he was off the clock, to give me the breakdown of what the problem was. What he charged me? Worth every penny…especially the part where it wasn’t something I had done wrong.

Why I bring this up is that being a fairly capable and creative person doesn’t prevent me from faltering at the likelihood that I messed-up.  See the Imposter Syndrome. My mental wiring is such that I get discouraged when my contribution to a situation actually causes more work for someone else, adds expense, or slows down progress. I’ve learned over the years that all that tweaking I may not have taken the product from good to great, and most assuredly caused some amount of frustration to hard-working, quality colleagues. Lesson learned.

There are times and seasons when tweaking is appropriate in developing a product and changing a business process. What we want to take into account is the cost of that tweaking, or iteration, on the people who make things happen in our workplaces. Free them from the “not good enough’s” to enjoy the fruit of “jobs well done”.blog-demanding-bosses-the-musePhoto Credit: The Muse

10 Tips for Dealing With an Overly Demanding Boss – Jacquelyn Smith

How to Get Over the Feeling that You’re Not Good Enough for Your Job – Michele Hoos

10 Things You Can Do to Get Out of Your Boss’s Doghouse – Brian Dodd

Why Incentive Plans Cannot Work – Alfie Kohn – Harvard Business Review

Good Is Not Good Enough: The Culture of Low Expectations and the Leader’s Challenge – Karlene M. Kerfoot

Innovation and Iteration: Friends Not Foes – Scott Anthony – Harvard Business Review

Holding a Team Retrospective – Morale

Workplace Bullying: Protecting Yourself at Work – Slideplayer

Monday Morning Moment – Stewardship – Stewarding My Part Well in Today’s Workplace

Blog - Stewardship - work.chronPhoto Credit: Work.Chron

All of life is stewardship. Doesn’t it make sense? Our jobs, our relationships, our personalities, and our future have multiple layers. When we think of stewardship, rather than ownership, or entitlement, or giftings, or personal rights, we take on a much broader, healthier view or life. Writing about it previously here, I wanted to focus more, this time, on our workplace.

In 1993, Peter Block wrote a revolutionary book entitled Stewardship: Choosing Service Over Self-Interest. He updated and expanded it twenty years later (in 2013). Block defines stewardship as “the willingness to be accountable for the well-being of the larger organization by operating in service, rather than in control, of those around us. Stated simply, it is accountability without control or compliance”.

Words mean things.  When we use the word “steward”, we loosen our grip on ownership – of our job, title, product, and work relationships. However, we do not loosen our commitment on personal responsibility. This is the gem of stewardship – a gem in the workplace that can be mined by each one of us.

Years ago, in nursing school, we used Virginia Henderson’s definition of nursing which focused more on facilitating the patient’s return to caring for him/herself than on the “giving care” component we often think of with nurses. Nursing as stewardship. When our children came along, we as parents would need to decide whether to home school or put our children into a private or public school.  Another parent gave us wise counsel: Whatever your decision, you are responsible for your children’s education, some of which you may contract out to other teachers or institutions. We, as parents, were stewards of our children’s education.

In the workplace, we have heard the word steward used in the service industry: union shop stewards, ship stewards, stewards on airlines, stewards of estates. However, the stewardship that Block describes can proliferate at all levels, especially if our leaders set this value and mindset. What if an organization determined to have an inclusive model of accountability where all employees operated by serving, rather than controlling, those in their influence (colleagues, customers, vendors)?  What if we chose to apply ourselves to the work before us, with deep personal care and commitment, rather than under a boss’s control or need for our compliance?

Stewardship as a concept and value is both time-tested and trendy. Check out REI‘s commitment to customers in delivering quality outdoor gear…and also to its employees. Stewardship.Blog - Stewardship - slideplayerPhoto Credit: Slideplayer

My first encounter with this word, stewardship, was as a child hearing the parable of a master preparing to leave on a journey. He entrusted the three servants with some measure of his wealth (talents). Their master had given each varying amounts of money, according to each servant’s ability. The master would be away for some period of time and meant for his servants to “steward” the money. Two servants invested his money in such a way that each doubled the amount entrusted them. The third servant, fearing the master (and possibly lacking confidence in his own ability), hid the money entrusted to him. He only had what he’d received in the beginning to give back to the master. The first two servants were rewarded for their faithfulness, care, and initiative, but the last cautious, fearful servant suffered the consequences of his inaction.

There is much to learn about stewardship from this old story. Stewardship is taking personal responsibility and interest in quality of service or product and depth of relationship. Like in the story, it could mean taking risks ourselves or with each other (especially leaders entrusting other team members with decision-making and design). It means empowering others in discussions and details that we might prefer keeping for ourselves (except that we are stewarding toward a larger outcome). It means making investments in others and in the over-all organization. Stewardship is the embodiment of employee engagement…all-in, whatever it takes, for that greater good. Lastly, the story spoke to rewards for those diligently stewarding what was placed in their care, and the consequences of those who refuse to be engaged…which leads to a place nobody really wants to go.quotes of bill gatesPhoto Credit: Quotesgram

Leaders and managers who are willing to give up control and who genuinely care about their employees and customers become true stewards themselves. They set the standard for stewarding across a company. Whether leaders are on board or not, any of us can still have ownership of a new-old way of thinking and practice. We can steward well what is our responsibility or under our influence. Again, this type of “ownership” is not about owning the job, the product, or the relationship. Stewardship is the owning of our personal responsibility – our piece of what could be excellent, and our piece of what’s not going well, and applying our experience, knowledge, giftings, and heart to benefit all touched by our service. Our stewardship.

BLog - Stewardship - 2 - whatcomlandtrustPhoto Credit: Whatcomlandtrust

What are your stories? Do you see the impact of your stewardship? Of the stewardship of others? Could you see how this might color the culture at your workplace? Is your company one where top-down, bottom-up, people care about each other and what they’re doing? It shows…if you are, or if you’re not. Stewardship.

Blog - Stewardship - John Wesley - QuotesgramPhoto Credit: Quotesgram

Monday Morning Moment – All of Life Is Stewardship

Stewardship: Choosing Service Over Self-Interest (2nd Ed.) – Peter Block

Five Lessons for Our Lives From the Parable of the Talents – Hugh Whelchel

Monday Morning Success – How Biblical Stewardship Transforms Your Work – Hugh Whelchel

Blog - Stewardship - Winston Churchill quote - ololmke

Photo Credit: OLOLmke

Courage – Putting Off Cynicism and Giving Up Control

Blog - Courage from bpnews.net photosPhoto Credit: bpnews.net

Be strong and courageous! Do not fear or tremble before them, for the LORD your God is the one who is going with you. He will not fail you or abandon you! – Deuteronomy 31:6

When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not fear. What can man do to me? – Psalm 56:3-4

Couragethe strength of mind to carry on in spite of danger or difficulty; old French meaning: “from the heart

Courage comes with time or necessity. When I was a child, Chicken Little (from the children’s story Henny Penny) could have been my modus operandi in dealing with life. The world seemed a scary place. If there was any way I could control it, I would (people-pleasing, saying what I thought people wanted to hear instead of the truth sometimes, circling up with friends who preferred me). Me, me, I, I. Being afraid centers on self…it keeps truth out and generates a “reality” that keeps walls up. To break out of that, courage was a necessity. With time and growing up, the world become smaller (and God bigger), and courage was born.

In my twenties, I read a little book shared with a me by a brave friend who had herself broken out of her own self-imposed walls. The book was Hannah Hunnard’s Hinds’ Feet on High Places*. The heroine was called Much Afraid. It is an allegory of a Christ-followers who struggled with fear and yet desired to know God in the high mountains of joy. The book tells a story of how she lost her fear over her journey of faith and devotion.

Courage comes with focus, focusing up and out. It won’t come with focusing on self and being in control. It comes with turning our focus on God and others. Simple as that. If we want to control our situation, we can rein in our circumstances and relationships such that we are not threatened. Occasionally someone or something may break through our fortress, but with determination, we can quickly rebuild. Circling tightly around our own selves, and only those people and things that matter most to us. Trumping any reality we choose to ignore or avoid. Or so we think…Blog - Courage 2 from bpnews.net photosPhoto Credit: bpnews.net

Courage takes risks and lets go of control. As I got older, I realized that life is so much more precious than the bits that I try to control. A long time ago, a little saying, “Let go, and let God” settled into the hard drive of my mind. I don’t always surrender myself to fullness of life and depth of relationship that God has for us…but when I do…well, worth the risk. Worth giving up my paltry control. Worth it.

Courage keeps me from cynicism. Paul Coughlin said it best: “Cynicism drains our lives of hope, optimism and creativity—raw material that help build our foundation of courage. Men are especially seduced by cynicism’s ability to look like you are on the playing field of life, committing deeds that are useful and powerful. But in reality the cynic is comfortably anchored on the cushy sidelines of life, lifting no burdens, creating no light & being no salt. This ability to always see the worst in people and situations is often a hiding place for fear, timidity and indifference. It allows us to be invulnerable observers rather than participants at risk and of sacrifice. Worse, the cynic often justifies his lack of redemptive and courageous action. Ultimately, cynicism is the language of self-preservation, which drains us of courage and shrivels our souls.”**

Take courage, Dear Ones. Leave off cynicism. Give up control. See what God will do when you show up, ready (in Him) for whatever comes your way today.

Blog - Courage 4 from bpnews.netPhoto Credit: bpnews.net

What Does the Bible Say About Courage?

Bible Verses About Courage

*Hinds’ Feet on High Places Quotes

** What Drains Us of Courageous Faith?

YouTube Video – Courageous – final scene

Blog - Courage 6 - film CourageousPhoto Credit: CourageoustheMovie