Tag Archives: grandchildren

5 Friday Faves – Music Lessons, Final Fantasy, Grandchildren, Leadership Guy Jon Mertz, and a Smorgasbord on Success

Beautiful day outside…hope the same is the case for you.

Here are my Friday faves this week:

1) Music Lessons – I was the worst student at music lessons. My mom was so determined that I would learn to play the piano. Seriously, I don’t even remember having a piano in our home…we must have, right? Dear old Mrs. Bowles taught me my first lessons. She and her husband owned a tiny general store in our neighborhood. She was ancient…and kind. I loved her but not enough to practice. Some weeks, my only time on the piano was our lesson. Do you think she could tell?

This week, I discovered an enthralling post on music lessons written by Tom Barnes, senior writer for Mic. The title is Music Lessons Were the Best Thing Your Parents Ever Did for You, According to Science.Photo Credit: MaxPixel

In the article he lists 13 scientific benefits of the many more derived from music lessons. Below, I’m posting his list, but don’t miss his brief and fascinating commentary on each one. Here’s his article.

Taking Music Lessons:

  1. It improved your reading and verbal skills.
  2. It improved your mathematical and spatial-temporal reasoning.
  3. It helped your grades.
  4. It raised your IQ.
  5. It helped you learn languages more quickly.
  6. It made you a better listener, which will help a lot when you’re older.
  7. It will slow the effects of aging.
  8. It strengthened your motor cortex.
  9. It improved your working memory.
  10. It improved your long-term memory for visual stimuli.
  11. It made you better at managing anxiety.
  12. It enhanced your self-confidence and self-esteem.
  13. It made you more creative.

All three of our children had piano lessons early in their schooling. They all did music through high school then took different paths afterwards. After her high school girl band and college chorale experience, our oldest plays piano just for her own pleasure now. Our middle, Nathan Mills, moved from piano to classical guitar and is now doing music professionally and giving lessons himself. Our youngest loves opera and is teaching himself the harp. Music lessons are definitely worth their investment…even beyond the music itself.

2) Final Fantasy – No, this isn’t some bucket list or deathbed wish. This is a video game. In fact, it’s a very popular one and has been around since 1987. This past week marked its 15th update. During our boys’ growing up years, I wasn’t enamored of video games, but I also never really sat down and got to know what they were about (my mistake). Final Fantasy is a good-vs.-evil battle game. Its musical themes are beyond beautiful. Our son, Nathan, has arranged many of the themes for classical guitar. Most recently, he has posted the Valse di Fantastica. As I’ve listened to this piece over and over, it makes me wonder at the times I kicked him off gaming to do something else more valuable with his time. Yet, the music stayed in his head and heart. I’m glad he’s kept the music…and here it is for you.

3) Grandchildren – These littles are so worth the wait. I say if you don’t have your own grands, then find some to love. Never enough love for children – tiny ones or those nearly grown. Photo Credit: Pixabay, Pixabay

Reuters posted a news story by Madeline Kennedy that touts the health benefit for seniors of occasionally caring for their grandchildren. Without going into the statistics, this German study reported that those who care for their grandchildren, on an occasional basis, actually live longer.

This and other studies (see article) point to time caring for grandchildren as benefiting cognitive function, as well as physical and mental health of the grandparent. These benefits could be enjoyed by caregivers not related to the children as well. Also a distinction was made that the study related to occasional care-giving (rather than full-time care) and depended on what was considered stressful or non-stressful by the grandparent.

I say, “let the little children come”.

4) Leadership Guy Jon Mertz – One of the many reasons I love Twitter is how much I learn from those I follow…including learning from those the ones I follow follow. Matt Monge, of The Mojo Company, tweeted this week about Jon Mertz‘s article on Four Essential Leadership Ladders. Mertz is the author of Activate Leadership: Aspen Truths to Empower Millennial Leaders. He is an intelligent empowering writer on leadership (as is Matt Monge).

Photo Credit: MaxPixal

In Mertz’s article on leadership ladders, he’s not talking about building or climbing ladders for our own success but for the success of others. What a lovely and timely concept! He prescribes four different leadership ladders – family, personal, organizational, and community. Read his piece here.

Within his article on leadership ladders, he references his 3 articles below. I read them all, and you will want to as well.

Discontentment – a Great Leadership Challenge – Jon Mertz (don’t miss the comments at the end of the article.)

Leadership Fails and Who Cares? – Jon Mertz

Always, Always Entangle Purpose With Life Work – Jon Mertz

5) Smorgasbord on Success – OK, we all define success in many ways. Couldn’t think of another exact word – being effective, making a living, realizing a dream, leading well. I’ve been reading a lot lately about leadership and about business start-ups. This week has made for a bounty of discovery on these topics (including Jon Mertz above). I’m just going to post the links and you can choose what tickles your itch this week.

My biggest take-away is that if we’re willing to learn, apply what we learn, and push out of our comfort zone, we can make extraordinary advances in our work and workplace. I really believe that, no matter what our age or level. Here are some writers who say the same:

7 Habits of Highly Effective FreelancersEric Rosenberg

How to Boost Your (and Others’) Emotional IntelligenceTomas Chamorro-Premuzic  and Michael Sanger

Mark Cuban, Kobe Bryant, and 15 Other People Whose Incredible Work Ethic Paid Off Jacquelyn Smith

Why the Best Idea Doesn’t Always WinScott Berkun

20 Habits for Success I Learned Working for Two Billionaires Paul C. Brunson

Enjoying reading, thinking, talking about it with those who love you…and being outside. Please always share your thoughts with me in the Comments.

Bonuses:

YouTube Video – Andy Andrews – 50 Famous Parental Sayings

Actual True Meanings – Classic Fairy Tales – Tongue-in-cheek – by Francesco Marciuliano

This Quiet Girl – To Know Her Is To Love Her, and I Know Her Very Well

30 years ago, I knew this would be the day. Our baby was coming. It was still the wee hours of the morning, but labor wakes us. I let Dave sleep until it got to a place that I knew we probably needed to go. It was a windy pre-dawn drive to the hospital. That first day of March.

“It’s a girl!” How would I have known then how much she would change our lives? We had an inkling when, just days into parenting, and my hormones all over the place, I looked up at Dave, with her in my lap and tears in my eyes. “What if something were to happen to her?” – asked the new mom on the edge. Dave brought me back to myself when he said, “Look at how much joy she’s brought us in just these few days. We treat each day as precious…” It was something like that. He doesn’t remember, and all I can say is that each day has been precious.

This quiet girl spent her preschool years in East Tennessee enjoying friends from the neighborhood and church. She didn’t require much entertaining. The world of her imagination was rich and deep. She welcomed two little brothers in that time.

As their big sister, she created elaborate make-believe games, and they loved following her lead in play. This, of course, would end in time, as teen years would find all three off doing more of their own thing. Fun times together and shared memories.

Other times, the boys thought of her more like an old aunt…a third parent…rather than sister. Fortunately that season passed with them all still friends.

This quiet girl has known God since she was tiny. She’s always been an old soul, and that sensibleness and understanding about life informed her grasp of God. She isn’t perfect, by any means, but she carries into adulthood a faith that both anchors her and moves her toward His purposes.

She loves music and for all her life she has filled our home with singing or piano playing. I don’t know if that influenced her guitarist or harpist brothers. Their music has just been a joy…for the most part…our musical tastes have all had their own journeys. Remembering her high school girl band days still makes me smile. She plays the radio now more than the piano, and she isn’t pursuing a choir or praise team experience…but I hope she does again one day.

When we pulled her out of her lovely small-town life, along with her brothers, to move to Africa, this quiet girl took it in stride. We were always grateful to see the hand of God in these adjustments. There were tears…great, gushing cries over missing friends and family and grieving precious things left behind (even her dog once)…my heart would almost break over those tears. Then, like the sun breaking through storm clouds, she would give in to laughter. That would break the tension for all of us…that crazy-sweet laughter from a tear-drenched face. Her own wrestling through the many moves of our lives had to have helped our boys do the same. She helped us, for sure.

Making friends was sometimes challenging for this one whom we bounced around from country to country. Always having to start over was hard for her. She’s not one to push in or draw attention to herself. How thankful we were for the friends who opened up to friendship with this quiet girl. They are some of her most cherished friendships. When she does feel comfortable enough to be herself, she probably surprises people with her resoluteness, strong opinions, and deep loyalties. These are actually things I appreciate about this quiet girl. She is not going away. As we get older, it is a tremendous comfort to know that she has settled that. She will be there, God willing. With this one, you get life-long friendships and forever love.

When this quiet girl went back to the US for college, we would miss her terribly. Our home re-configured and the boys became the young men of the house. Her visits home were dear for all of us…as she perched around wherever we had landed at home and told us stories of life at school. I never tired of those stories.

After college, she would teach for several years (both inner city and county schools). Lots of crying followed by laughter in those days. The friendships that came out of both college and teaching are precious to her…lots of battle scars and victories to share there.

This quiet girl fell in love. She never really dated in high school. We as her parents were glad she, or the boys, didn’t suffer serial broken hearts. To find one so right for her as the quiet young man she married gladdened our hearts for her…and for us all.

Then she finally got a much-longed-for sister when one of her brothers married (and another when her husband’s brother married).

…and our first grandchild has this quiet girl as mommy.

[No pics of this little one on the blog yet. One day… The grandparents, I can tell you, are smitten with this little one not-so-quiet as the parents.]

I guess it’s a 30th birthday that made me want to write about this quiet girl. To know her is to love her, and I know her very well.

So Sweet Girl, Dear Daughter of ours, when you read this blog (and you do, so thanks for that), on this your 30th birthday, hope you’re having a Beautiful Day and know how Priceless you are to God Himself and to all who know and love you.

80 Years Young – A Birthday Tribute to One Extraordinary Woman – My Mom-in-Law

Mother-in-law jokes are lost on me. They’re just not funny and are so rude, really, given they are perpetrated against the mother of the person we chose to spend our lives with… Makes no sense to me.

My mom-in-law may be extraordinary, but she would never think so. Her name is Julia and she grew up in a farm family. She married young and had two sons (after miscarrying a first child). I married her oldest. Her life has always been centered on her family…loving them, serving them…and always pointing them to God.

My own mom gave me wonderful counsel when I married – about how to treat my mom-in-law. She told me to love her like I loved my own mom. Now, you have to know my mom has been my best friend from childhood. She was wise, funny, loving…and I wanted to be just like her when I grew up. To even try to love someone like I loved her seemed impossible…but I knew she was right to point me in that direction.

This other young mom of the man I loved started out a stranger to me…but that didn’t last long. She welcomed me into her circle from the beginning, and I’ve been inside that circle for over 30 years now.

Julia has always treated me as something special…she somehow does that with each one of us – her husband, sons, daughters-in-law and now grandchildren and great-grands. It’s not a “something special” that puffs us up…like we’re the best out there…She marvels in a sweet humility…again, reveling in the goodness of God in bringing us all together. I totally feel that way about her as well. Grateful.

On this birthday, Julia becomes the youngest 80-year-old I know. She is as sharp and engaged in life as ever. Always a beauty, she is still lovely…smaller as the years have passed, but even cuter in her petiteness. Yet, she doesn’t draw attention to herself…ever. It’s just not her nature. She serves us…we are her joy…and visits home are always an occasion. A bountiful table. Beautiful touches all around the house celebrating the season. Special treats not just for the littles, but for all of us. She seriously thinks of everything. It used to tire me out, but through the years, I have relaxed in that I am not her, and that’s very o.k. Only one Mom-Mom is all we need.

A few highlights:

  • We are both picture-takers…so we’re not always in the picture. Still we are partners in this, as annoying as it is for the men (especially) in the family. We get those pictures…together.
  • With each child born/adopted into our family, Julia made the trip to spend a week with us – to help, love on us, celebrate the new babies and the big sister/brother. She cooked and cleaned, with zero fanfare – absolutely no drama – just lots of love.
  • She made birthdays and Christmas so special for our kids. There came a time that we finally insisted, “One package each, Mom”. That Christmas, when she and Dad John pulled into the driveway, that “one package each” was enormous…with lots of goodies tucked inside. Who could get mad at that? Such a heart she has!
  • When our lives took us in a direction that we would move overseas for a job, I was so afraid that heart of hers would break. It was painful at first, as she and John absorbed the shock of the news. Yes, we would be taking their only grandchildren to Africa… So hard… By the next day, she had steeled her heart. Not in an unfeeling way but in a hopeful trusting way. Distance would change nothing about her love for us…except to grow stronger.  
  • She and John would visit us in three countries. Complete with two 70-pound bags full of treasures for those grandchildren of hers. She had no ambition to visit the Pyramids of Giza, or Matmata, Tunisia (where Star Wars – a New Hope was filmed), or Rick’s Cafe in Casablanca. Still…we did all that, and so much more. She marveled…at the beauty of the places we love and even more so at the people we called friends and neighbors.
  • Part of her winsomeness to me was seeing the gentleness in how her husband and sons loved her. Once on a family trip to the Egyptian desert, we climbed Mt. Sinai. We took a slow, meandering route up to the top. It was amazing. However, on our return to the bottom, we chose a quicker (but unfortunately more brutal) route back down. 3,750 “steps of penitence”. At some point, over half-way down, Julia was feeling the burn of all that pounding down those stone steps. When Dave, my husband/her son, saw her struggle, he pulled back and helped support her the rest of the way down. Gently, quietly. That love and care for his mom spoke volumes to me…about him, and especially about her.Photo Credit: See the Holy Land
  • Julia doesn’t quit on people or things that matter. She is quick to forgive and always ready to reconcile. She is also brave, willing to do the hard thing, even when she wished it wouldn’t have to be hers to do. She and John have been a part of the same church for many, many years. As the membership aged, the church suffered  a lack of vision…and, in fact, began to die. Julia was one of a handful that continued to serve and believe God that He wasn’t finished with their church. She persevered…and when a revitalization program took off, with young pastors and many new members, she stayed the course with them. Oh I’m sure she may not always be easy on these young leaders…but they are wise to keep counsel with her. Her commitment to God, to the church, and to the nations is as passionate as ever…at 80. Think what a force to reckon with she might be at 90!
  • Finally, I want to speak of her servant heart. When she married John over 60 years ago, she took her vows very seriously…and continues to do so. In recent years, John has had to deal with Parkinson’s Disease…but not alone. She is right beside him… helping when he needs help, encouraging when he can do himself. She is there…”in sickness, and in health”…and she will be…there.

I can’t begin to say how much she has taught me about loving my husband and serving my family. When my precious mother died too many years ago, Julia drew even closer to love me through that… She has continued to teach me, on the foundation my mom laid, to put others first and to pray my heart out for those God has placed in my life. What stewardship I have learned from this sweet mom.

Mother-in-law jokes?! Please! What a grace God has given me in her. Is she extraordinary? She would definitely balk at that. Maybe she is just a picture of what God can do in an ordinary life surrendered to Him. She models for me a wife, mom, and mom-in-law I want to be.

Many things I leave unsaid. Some of the tears, and some of the laughter are ours to cherish privately… She did teach me her pie crust secret for which I’m forever thankful…on this side of life. As for the other side of life…and the other side of this 80th birthday…I am so grateful for our times together, for the witness of her life, for all she has taught me, and for the memories…all the sweet memories.

Happy birthday, Mom/Julia! Many more memories to make ahead!

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
    but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
    and let her works praise her in the gates.” – Proverbs 31:28-31

Love Is a Laid-Down Life – Slowing Down for a Season – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Remembering Dad At His Passing – Grateful to God

Papa on 90th

In the fear of the LORD one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge. – Proverbs 14:26

Our dad, George Thomas McAdams, died on Christmas Day. Less than a month before his 94th birthday. He’d been persevering through both cancer and Alzheimer’s for a long time. He died at home with my brother and sister-in-law. When Dad’s condition had deteriorated such that he couldn’t stay in this beautiful assisted living situation he had, these two brought him home with them. They would care for him during “the long goodbye” of both diseases he had.

The hospice team said 3 weeks…it would be three months. I will always be grateful to my family for caring for Dad so well. My multiple trips coming in to assist probably helped me more than them…but those trips are done.

Now we gather and he’s gone.

We are just beginning to grieve fully. In recent years, we grieved by degrees as he lost parts of his memory and and his independence – both of which served him well for most of his long life.

I’ve written about Dad other times. The following glimpse of his life is adapted from a previous blog. [I left the “present tense” verbs…he was…and he is…and we will see him again in Heaven.]

Born in 1923, Dad was six years old at the start of the Great Depression. He would have to drop out of school in the 6th grade to help his father with their farm. He worked alongside his little sister and marveled how she seemed to always pick more cotton than he did in a day. A mischief was born in my dad in those days that continues today. When he and his sister talk about these lean years growing up, they both have such a joy in them remembering those days. This sweet aunt also has Alzheimer’s, and although her memory, like Dad’s, has worsened, her personality continues to be untouched, again like Dad’s. It’s such a joy for me to see her face light up when Dad remembers a story that she also remembers. Blog - Dad & Aunt Rosie[Dad with his beloved little sister Rosie – both with Alzheimer’s in their last years, both dying within months of each other]

Dad only finished 6th grade, but he schooled himself in life, learning farming from his dad, and then in the years since, carpentry, plumbing, electrical work. To me, he could always do anything.

As a teen, he went with the Civilian Conservation Corps and  worked on various road and park projects with other young men. Then he joined the Army during World War II. He fought in the Hedgerow (or Hedge Grove) Battles of Normandy with the 315th Infantry. He was a machine gunner and worked with a rocket launcher team. When we were younger, Dad wouldn’t talk about the war, but in his elder years, and until Alzheimer’s dulled his memory of details, he would tell us about those days. He even once had a brief conversation with General George Patton. His stories sent me searching for details about those battles. Amazing stories.Dad in Military - BLog

He married very young and has 5 children from his first marriage. [They have their own stories and memories which make Dad’s passing hard as well.] Some years later, when he married my mom, he took on her four children.  He’s the only dad I’ve ever known. I’m so grateful for his love, and work ethic, and determination in life. He and mom made a good team. The years of growing up with them married were the years that I learned about Jesus and became a Christ-follower.Blog - Debbie, Mom, & Dad (2)

Dad always had a servant heart. If he wasn’t out on a service truck somewhere helping someone, he was on the phone, talking someone through how to fix something. Like I said, he loved to work, and never minded calls from family, friends, neighbors who needed him.Dad - Blog

He and my mom would do a lot of serving together. They were very active in their church and also had a special heart for widows and the elderly. Their home was always open to people who needed a good meal or an encouraging word. Mom and Dad cared for her older brother and wife, as well as an elderly friend. Two grandchildren also lived with them for awhile, along with their dad (my oldest brother) during a difficult time of his own.Mom pictures for website 014aMom and Dad traveled overseas together to see other grandchildren (that would be our children) while we were living in Egypt and then in Tunisia. Then Mom was diagnosed with cancer and for the three years she endured that disease, Dad was right there for her. We were home the last year, and as hard as it was for all of us having to say goodbye to Mom, we were so touched by the sweet love they had through all of it. Dad would come twice more to see us, while we lived in Morocco, before he put his passport away.Dad - 2009 - Blog - Checkers

Dad has always been a character. Until his health started flagging (having had two cancers and severe cardiac issues), he was remarkably strong for his age. He says it’s from all the hard work he did all his life, and I believe him. He loves the Atlanta Braves (especially the years of Chipper Jones) and Southern Gospel music (the Gaither’s, in particular). I have never beat him in checkers. In fact, the only one who I knew could beat him was Mom. We don’t play checkers any more because when his memory started dimming, I didn’t want to take the chance that I might win. It would be so wrong.Dad & some of the grands on his 90th bday - Blog

He LOVES his grandchildren and great-grands. Full stop.  Blog - Dad & grandchildren - Jaden

Before his eyesight worsened, he read the Bible most days (studying his Sunday School lesson) and he read the newspaper every day. He loved to go out to  eat – fried fish, okra, chicken livers (emphasis on fried) and hot dogs at The Varsity. He had coffee every morning and loved whatever anyone set before him (his favorite being a sausage egg biscuit from Martin’s). The servers all knew him at his favorite local restaurants, and it was fun just sitting across from him, as they came around to wait our table and just to talk. He preferred Ford pickup trucks and always wanted a red one (his last truck would be a red pickup but this time a Dodge Ram). He had a poster of a red Ford truck on his bedroom wall for as long as I can remember. Blog - Dad or Papa - red Ford pickup truck (2)

At 92, Dad entered assisted living. Dad, Steph, & I with Mr. Wally at assisted living - Blog

All the family, his pastor, and friends would make it a good transition for him. He will make a place for himself there, and we will all come see him and tell the stories back to him that he’s told us all these long years.

2013 January Papa's 90th Birthday - Dad sleeping - BLog (2)

 I have a little of Dad’s mischief in me because one of the things I do that annoys my family is to take pictures of them when they’re napping. Just like we love to watch children sweetly sleeping, that’s what moves me to capture these images. There in the middle of all his loud family gathered happily for his 90th birthday, Dad nods off. Maybe because of all the cake he put away (did I mention his sweet tooth?)…but more so, I think he sleeps safe in the sweet company of those who love him.

Finally, I love his hands. He used to have rough, work-worn hands. Strong and capable. Now, they are soft…and not so strong. That doesn’t matter. They are still beautiful…and now we hold his hands, like he once held ours. How thankful we all are that he’s still with us…in this different season of life.Dad's hands edited - Blog

With the ravages of cancer, his age maybe, and Alzheimer’s Disease, Dad became very small before he died. Still amazingly strong, but small. Never mind that. We celebrate this man across the long years God gave him.  He’s had a very large life.

Understanding Alzheimer’s in 3 Minutes (video)

Alzheimer’s Disease – Caregiver Advice by Marie Marley, Author of Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy

5 Tips for Talking with a Person who has Alzheimer’s

Website for The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care by Virginia Bell & David Troxell

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins

Poem – I Am Standing Upon the Seashore – Henry Van Dyke

Photo Credit: Pinterest

5 Friday Faves – Dads Who Get It, Pompous Putdowns, Kids’ Birthdays, Hole-in-the-Wall Restaurants, and a Good Laugh

Blog - Friday Faves

Hello, Friday Friends! Finishing up today’s blog at my favorite shared workspace. Last days of summer are upon us. Looking forward to Fall…however, taking each day as a gift. This is one!Blog - Shared Workspace - Friday Faves

Here are my favorite finds this week. Would love to hear some of yours in Comments below.

1) Dads Who Get It – What a blessing you Dads who notice and insert yourselves in our lives. With care and insight. In a Youtube video, a young boy, Mateo had a secret dream of being a professional dancer…or maybe it wasn’t so secret. His daily life was darkened by the regular taunts of neighborhood bullies. Then…enter the Dad.Blog - Dads Who Get It - Bullying - dresser splentalePhoto Credit: Dresser Splentale 

Watch this short and sweet video showcasing such a dad.

2) Pompous Putdowns  – Okay…I actually deserved this one maybe. I made a comment on a blog of one of my favorite culture commentators. He is a great thinker and I usually “amen” everything he posts. So, on the one piece that didn’t wash for me, I made a disparaging comment. Something that I don’t appreciate when it’s done to others. Thought about deleting it…but not before another replied to my comment with the phrase “what pious trout nonsense.”Blog - Putdowns and pious trout nonsense - Oxford Grotesque TwitterPhoto Credit: Twitter – Oxford Grotesque

Wow! Not just “rude” or “self-righteous”, but this altogether higher level of putting my comment in its place. Sophisticated and snarky name-calling. So why is this a fave? It was  a reminder that comments on a blog, Twitter, or Facebook walls sometimes elicit more withering responses than the original post itself. When I posted the comment on this blogger’s wall, I had no idea that it could come across as “pious trout nonsense”. Gave me pause to think. Ironically, The origin of this putdown is ascribed to Christopher Hitchens, a steadfast critic of Christians. So for a moment, in the comment section of a favorite blogger, I got my comeuppance (in a manner of speaking) by a premiere persecutor. Could be worse.

[PS…I did go ahead and delete my comment, and will return to commenting only if it’s affirming…hopefully. Thankful for freedom of speech but don’t need to add to the negative stuff out there.]

3) Kids’ Birthdays – Just want to celebrate briefly the celebration of mileposts. Our oldest granddaughter just turned 1 y/o. She is a social media-free child. Can’t post pictures, so I will use the image below to celebrate both her, and her adorable little 2-month-old cousin.Blog - Grandchild Tshirts

Kids’ birthday parties have just been something we participated in mostly as spectators (over the last decade since our own children became adults). Until now! This week, we hovered over a 1-year-old with cameras aready for her first bites of cake. A struggle with sugar she will battle the rest of her life. This day, however, we celebrate her…and the cake her other sweet grandmother made…and the lovely community she gathers – extended family who love her and love being family with her. [When she is older and decides to do whatever the latest greatest social media will be, I’ll share her pictures.] Blog - Grandchildren BirthdaysP1280069 - Copy

4) Hole-in-the-Wall Restaurants – Our city/state has some super finds in restaurants – both little obscure ones and the larger franchises. Kuba-Kuba is one I’ve enjoyed. Wherever you live , there are websites that will point you to hole-in-the-wall restaurants not to miss. Visiting Georgia often to see my Dad/family, I also need to check these out, and our children’s home state has sweet options as well. What are your favorites? [Please share in Comments.]

Blog - Kuba-Kuba - hole in the wall restaurants - only in your statePhoto Credit: Only In Your State

5) A Good Laugh – I’m a pretty serious person, but what a gift to have people in my life who make me laugh. How about you? Do you have people like that In your life? It’s great for your health. Whether it’s cancer, heart disease, or chronic mental distress, laughter is good medicine. My friend, Heba, makes me laugh every time we talk. Every. Single. Time.2006 -- Nov -- Heba & Daniel eating Koshery

Blog - Merry heart - pinterestPhoto Credit: PinterestBlog - a merry heart - powerfulintentionsPhoto Credit: Powerful Intentions

Online, we can also find great helps – like Michael Jr., KevOnStage, Brian Regan, and others…who are your favorites?

Hope your weekend is full of laughter…and at least one of these:Blog - Hanover Tomato Sandwich

 

5 Friday Faves – Grandchildren, BBC Series, Refugees, Storm Recovery, and Bread

Blog - Friday Faves

What a week! Right? For us it was a power outage for four days after a big storm came through last week. Then, the wonder of the birth of our second grandchild. Everything else paled…but even that a lovely pale. My five favorites of the week follow.

1) Grandchildren – Last week, I wrote about a cancer survivorship plan (referenced in Kelly A. Turner’s Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds). She lists 9 factors that she believes make a difference in survival. One is “having strong reasons for living“. If there was ever a strong reason for living it’s these little ones. I married later in life, and was thrilled to even have children, much less grandchildren. What a miracle they are! What a wonder!2016 - Blog - Grandchildren (2)2016 - Blog - Grandchildren (1)

2) After Downton Abbey finished its run, I really missed British TV. Then recently, on Amazon Prime, we discovered Lark Rise to Candleford taken from the Flora Thompson trilogy of the same name. In ways like Downton Abbey, the story-telling in this series is utterly magical. Thompson uses the rural setting of England in the 1890’s. She includes the cultural clashes of hamlet folk and town people. I am plowing through the seasons and am now on the 4th and what appears to be the final season. Say it isn’t so!IMG_6630The cinematography is gorgeous, but the loveliest parts of the series are the relationships and the dialogue. In Series 4, Episode 2, one of the main characters, Emma Timmins, recites a poem of hers (“Gossamer Threads”) which reveals some of the heart of the story:IMG_6631“As I went on my way,/Gossamer threads spanned from bush to bush like barricades,/As I broke through one after another/I was taken by a childish fear./They are trying to bind and keep me here./But as I grew from girl to woman,I knew/The threads that bind me were more enduring than gossamer. /They were spun of kinship and love,/Given so freely that it could never be taken away from me.”IMG_6632Photo Credit: Lark Rise to Candleford

3) Refugees – Over 50 million people are displaced in our world today. We can do something. Our friend, Beth, just spent a couple of months helping in a refugee camp. It’s way too easy to forget about these between homes and countries, especially if they are not coming to the US. If you want to know more and how to serve either for a week or longer, contact Baptist Global Response.12993627_10156889362110061_8126408917090936937_n

4) Storm Recovery – When a thunderstorm with extreme winds passed through Richmond last Thursday night, our neighborhood sustained major damages. Trees falling on houses, cars, and across streets blocking passage. We were without electricity and cable for 4 days. When we lived overseas, we frequently had power outages, but only for hours at a time. Someone said to me during the cleanup, waiting on power to be restored, how we shouldn’t really complain, it being a “first world problem” and all. I had to chuckle. It was actually a third world problem but we aren’t well-prepared for it here. Some of our neighbors have generators, and the buzz of those generators across these several days sounded other-worldly after awhile. Then…the power was back. Very thankful for all the workers from our state’s utility company and many states around.2016 June - Blog Storm Recovery (2)IMG_6512

5) Bread – My husband’s favorite sandwich bread is Arnold’s Healthy Multi-Grain. Today I bought a new bread recommended by our daughter: Dave’s Killer Bread. Blog - Dave's Killer Bread - businesswirePhoto Credit: BusinessWire

The Dahl Family in Oregon has been in the bread-making business over many years. Dave, the son who is the namesake of the bread, grew up making bread but had no interest in it. Then he wound up in prison for many years. On his release, his brother invited him back in the business, and he helped to make it what it is today. Blog - Dave's Killer Bread - bizjournalsPhoto Credit: BizJournals

This is wonderful chewy nutty bread. It’s a bit pricey, but it was on special today, so we’ll be watching for specials in the future.

The company is strongly invested in giving other ex-convicts, like Dave, a second chance to make a fresh start. This Second Chance Project is exciting, replicable,  and noteworthy in its success.

There are my five faves for the week. Please share any of yours in the Comments.

Have a wonderful, restful weekend. God bless!

Bonus Images of the Week

Cherry Season

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Calla Lilies in our Garden, Dad & My Brother Watching The Braves

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Cancer Support Jewelry from my friend KathyIMG_6629

Moms, Mothering, and Grandmothering – a Life of Love, Launching, and Lifting to God

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[From the Archives]

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31: 27-30

 My Mom was a treasure – a lavishing of God’s grace on four undeserving children. She was my best friend, and I miss her every day. She taught me the most important lessons of life – the value of hard work, loving and serving others no matter what, and a life of following God. I have written, not well enough, about her (here, here, and here, etc.). She was my hero, and, though she is in Heaven now, she informs much of how I live life still.

Whether we are mothers or not, we all have/had mothers. I hope yours was/is lovely, and Godly, and inspiring. Whichever is your situation, we have an opportunity to honor those who mother well and we have still other opportunities to love and forgive those who didn’t. My children are grown and I am not supposed to “mother” them now – a heart habit hard to break. Now that their childhood is over, I miss those years. Still, like my mom, I will encourage and pray and marvel at how God moves in their lives. Grand-parenting is a sweet dividend to mothering. I pray that I will have a season of pouring into those little hearts – wonder, love, and grace.

Today, I share a bit out of Ruth Bell Graham’s lovely book Prayers from a Mother’s Heart. With the Lord now, Mrs. Graham compiled some of her own poetry, her daughter’s, and that of other Godly moms. She touches on all seasons of growing up and mothering. May yours, mothers and mothered, be touched by God’s dearest wisdom and deepest kindnesses.

Blog - Mother's Day

“Lord, as I stand beside this crib, watching this little boy fall asleep…

his blond curls sticking to his small, damp forehead, his chubby fingers wrapped tightly around his blanket,

my heart is filled with emotion, wonder, and awe. I have so many dreams and ambitions for him.

Please help me to remember that he is first of all Yours, and that the most important thing of all is that he grow to love You and follow You. So, Lord, tonight I put aside any and all prayers that could have their roots in selfish motherly desires, and pray these words for him,

Beloved child, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. (1 Cor. 15:58

Because, Lord, if this prayer is answered, then one day I will be able to say with John that my greatest joy is knowing that my children are walking in the truth.”Gigi Graham Tchividjian

“Lord, remind me often that parents are intended to be a mooring post, a safe place to stay, a sure place to cast anchor come wind or weather. It is not the time for me to worry about the storms beyond the bay, for now we have the gift of a little time called childhood; tethered to love, the little boat bobs and weaves about the post – happy and secure!”Jill Briscoe

“Father, You said that You would contend with those who contend with me and You will save our children (Isa. 49:25).

Television, magazines, the classroom, and now the Internet – all are filled with “contenders,”

But I am relying on Your promise.”Ruth Bell Graham

A Prayer for Hurting Mothers

“Be tender, Lord, we pray with one whose child lies dead today.

Be tender, Lord, we plead for those with runaways for whom moms bleed.

But be tenderest of all with each whose child no longer cares…is out of reach.”Ruth Bell Graham

Turning Children’s Cares Over to God

“Lord, I think it is harder to turn the worries and cares of my children over to You than my own. For, through the years, as I have grown in faith, I have learned that You are merciful and kind.

Not one time have You failed me, Lord – why do I fear You will fail mine?”Ruth Bell Graham

Happy Mother’s Day, Dear Ones. May today not just be about flowers, cards, or dinners out. May this be a day that’s full of encouragement for moms “to go deep into their gifts, to focus on their Maker or to see how we’re made and who we’re made to be. …to live out faith in daring, dangerous ways…to know God better.” (Caryn Rivadeneira)

Love You Forever.

Dedicated to my mom-in-love, Julia – who loves us with bold devotion and fierce determination – giving us an example to do the same.MomMom, Nathan, Daniel 2015

Prayers from a Mother’s Heart compiled by Ruth Bell Graham

Mother’s Day Sermons…Ugh

Surprised by Motherhood – Lisa-Jo Baker’s Must-Read for All Women and the Bravest of Men

Mother’s Day 2015 – Top Favorite Quotes, Bible Verses, and Holiday History

A Long Motherhood – A Poem for Mother’s Day by John Piper

My Mom – Mildred Byrd McAdams – Memorial

Celebrating the Faith and Work of Our Mothers

A Prayer for Young Moms of Little Ones – my archives

The Season of Small Ones – Mother, God, and Gandalf – archives

Mothering Through the Seasons – Eyes on God and His on Me – archives

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch & Sheila McGraw

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“I’ll love you forever
I’ll like you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be.”

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A Different Season of Life – Dad & Alzheimer’s

 Papa on 90th

I sometimes wonder- when we’re out and about – what people think of this cute old guy , shuffling along holding my hand. Just this past week, we were in an antique mall together, just looking and giving him opportunity to walk some. One of the clerks made all over him. He smiled, looking almost shy, and responded brightly and humorously to her questions and comments. For ever how many minutes he would remember that encounter, it was a sweet experience for him…and the clerk…and for me.

My Dad is 92 years young and he has Alzheimer’s. His memory has taken a toll from this disease, but his personality is as fun and sunny as it’s ever been. He’s a jokester – loves to tease and engage others, especially children, and I don’t think he’s ever met a stranger. He has been a great story-teller, but this skill is passing into the twilight of his memory loss. Still, he is still so surprising, just this week popping out a joke I’d never heard [“I heard that there was this lady who was great at keeping house. Every time she got a divorce, she kept the house.”].

Mom died over 10 years ago, so Dad has been the one to teach me so much about growing old. I had an aunt who had Alzheimer’s years ago. In fact, my parents cared for her in their home for as long as they could. Her experience with Alzheimer’s made us all sad at the diminishing effects of it on her life. So far, Dad’s bout with this disease has not left him without his joy in life and his family. At 92, his friends are few, but his memories are so many and so rich that he still has some.

Toward the end of the Great Depression, Dad had to drop out of school to help his father with their farm. He worked alongside his little sister and marveled how she seemed to always pick more cotton than he did in a day. A mischief was born in my dad in those days that continues today. When he and his sister talk about these lean years growing up, they both have such a joy in them remembering those days. This sweet aunt also has Alzheimer’s, and although her memory, like Dad’s, has worsened, her personality continues to be untouched, again like Dad’s. It’s such a joy for me to see her face light up when Dad remembers a story that she also remembers. Blog - Dad & Aunt Rosie

Dad only finished 6th grade, but he schooled himself in life, learning farming from his dad, and then in the years since, carpentry, plumbing, electrical work. To me, he could always do anything.

As a teen, he went with the Civilian Conservation Corps and  worked on various road and park projects with other young men. Then he joined the Army during World War II. He fought in the Hedgerow (or Hedge Grove) Battles of Normandy with the 315th Infantry. He was a machine gunner and worked with a rocket launcher team. When we were younger, Dad wouldn’t talk about the war, but in his elder years, and until Alzheimer’s dulled his memory of details, he would tell us about those days. He even once had a brief conversation with General George Patton. His stories sent me searching for details about those battles. Amazing stories.Dad in Military - BLog

He married very young and has 5 children from his first marriage. Some years later, when he married my mom, he also took on 4 more children of hers.  He’s the only dad I’ve ever known. I’m so grateful for his love, and work ethic, and determination in life. He and mom made a good team. The years of growing up with them married were the years that I learned about Jesus and became a Christ-follower.Blog - Debbie, Mom, & Dad (2)

Dad always had a servant heart. If he wasn’t out on a service truck somewhere helping someone, he was on the phone, talking someone through how to fix something. Like I said, he loved to work, and never minded calls from family, friends, neighbors who needed him.Dad - Blog

He and my mom would do a lot of serving together. They were very active in their church and also had a special heart for widows and the elderly. Their home was always open to people who needed a good meal or an encouraging word. Mom and Dad cared for an uncle and aunt, as well as an elderly friend. Two grandchildren also lived with them for awhile, along with their father during a difficult time of his own.Mom pictures for website 014aThey also traveled overseas together to see other grandchildren (that would be our children) while we were living in Egypt and then in Tunisia. Then Mom was diagnosed with cancer and for the three years she endured that disease, Dad was right there for her. We were home the last year, and as hard as it was for all of us having to say goodbye to Mom, we were so touched by the sweet love they had through all of it. Dad would come twice more to see us, while we lived in Morocco, before he put his passport away.

Dad - 2009 - Blog - Checkers

Dad has always been a character. Until his health started flagging (having had two cancers and severe cardiac issues), he was remarkably strong for his age. He says it’s from all the hard work he did all his life, and I believe him. He loves the Atlanta Braves (especially the years of Chipper Jones) and Southern Gospel music (the Gaither’s, in particular). I have never beat him in checkers. In fact, the only one who I knew could beat him was Mom. We don’t play checkers any more because when his memory started dimming, I didn’t want to take the chance that I might win. It would be so wrong.Dad & some of the grands on his 90th bday - Blog

He LOVES his grandchildren and great-grands. Full stop.  Blog - Dad & grandchildren - Jaden

Before his eyesight worsened, he read the Bible most days (studied his Sunday School lesson) and the newspaper every day. He loved to go out an eat – fried fish, okra, chicken livers (emphasis on fried) and hot dogs at The Varsity. He had coffee every morning and loved whatever anyone set before him (his favorite being a sausage egg biscuit from Martin’s). The servers all knew him at his favorite local restaurants, and it was fun just sitting across from him, as they came around to wait our table and just to talk. He preferred Ford pickup trucks and always wanted a red one (which would be his last vehicle but it wasn’t a Ford – I guess it was a great deal). He had a poster of a red Ford truck on his bedroom wall for as long as I can remember. Blog - Dad or Papa - red Ford pickup truck (2)

I wanted to write about Dad today because next week, he enters an assisted living facility. It’s a beautiful place, and I know he’ll enjoy the activities and extra company he will have there. Still it’s another season of this incredible life of his, and I want to mark this transition.Dad, Steph, & I with Mr. Wally at assisted living - Blog

Would I rather him live with me? Absolutely. It wasn’t my call, but I know it’s a good call. All the family, his pastor, and friends will make it a good transition for him. He will make a place for himself there, and we will all come see him and tell the stories back to him that he’s told us all these long years.

2013 January Papa's 90th Birthday - Dad sleeping - BLog (2)

 I have a little of Dad’s mischief in me because one of the things I do that annoys my family is to take pictures of them when they’re napping. Just like we love to watch children sweetly sleeping, that’s what moves me to capture these images. There in the middle of all his loud family gathered happily for his 90th birthday, Dad nods off. Maybe because of all the cake he put away (did I mention his sweet tooth?)…but more so, I think he sleeps safe in the sweet company of those who love him.

Finally, I love his hands. He used to have rough, work-worn hands. Strong and capable. Now, they are soft…and not so strong. That doesn’t matter. They are still beautiful…and now we hold his hands, like he once held ours. How thankful we all are that he’s still with us…in this different season of life.Dad's hands edited - Blog

 Should you see Dad one day, and you see this little, shuffling hard-of-hearing man who struggles with balance and memory and pain “somewhere or other, all the time”, don’t miss him. He’s had a large life…and is still living it.

Understanding Alzheimer’s in 3 Minutes (video)

Alzheimer’s Disease – Caregiver Advice by Marie Marley, Author of Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy

5 Tips for Talking with a Person who has Alzheimer’s

Website for The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care by Virginia Bell & David Troxell

Facebook Page for Best Friends Approach

The 36-Hour Day: A Family Guide to Caring for People Who Have Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementias, and Memory Loss by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins

Mom & Dad #3 - Blog