From that time on many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus asked the Twelve, “Do you want to leave too?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God.” – John 6:66-69
Last year I heard Benjamin William Hastings in concert for the very first time. He doesn’t just sing; he worships. In a large concert space, packed with people, he seemed so small on the stage (and I was seated close-up). Partly because of the humility in his posture and countenance, and mostly because he pointed us, through his lyrics and singing, to the larger presence in the room. Jesus.
[I’ve written about several of his songs already in this blog. Find them here.]
Hastings’ newest single is “If It Wasn’t for Jesus”. It took me back to my disordered youth and it also resonates with me today in this disordered world of ours.
Somewhere around the age of 6, my family started going to church. I had solid teaching there for sure. Still the world presses in, and between that and my own fleshly desires for the approval of others, I faltered in my faith. During college especially and then in my 20s working in a high-pressure secular environment. It didn’t seem like I could follow Jesus and also be considered winsome in the world’s eyes. I was so deceived back then. Still “attending” church every week, even in the role of leading youth, and yet double-minded. Wanting to have the favor of those in my workspace, and pleasing those in my social circle, while also enjoying the honor of my position in church. Looking back, I still shudder at the deceit that bound me up in those days.
God did not forget me in those days. He drew me back to Himself. Thankful for Godly friends and mentors who pointed me to Him, spoke truth to me in love, and held me close until I came to my senses.
I don’t know much of Benjamin William Hastings’ story, but his music gives the message that God is so much bigger than our failures. His love is perfect, and in our weakness, He faithfully demonstrates His strength. I didn’t take sin seriously in those days, but, praise God, He did not let me slip too far from Him.
“My new single ‘If it wasn’t for Jesus’ is all about reflecting on where I’d be if it wasn’t for these amazing divine encounters with God, and then arriving at gratitude because of the intervention of God.” – Benjamin William Hastings
Looking at life today, like Hastings, I am constantly grateful. In the midst of the crazy of this world, I know that God is with us and will, as He has promised, work good for His children and glory for His beautiful, righteous triune Self.
Like Hastings sings: Only God knows where I’d be without Him…but I can confirm (based on my past and the weakness of our flesh without Him) it would not be pretty. I don’t have to be plagued with that thought anymore. He did what He had to do to save me and bring me out of death into life, and I will walk with Him, however imperfectly, until the day we meet face to face forever.
What’s your story? Please leave a comment if you want to…
“Your love, Lord, since I found it [Don’t wanna live without it]. Hands high, open-hearted. Where would I be without Your love, Lord!”
Worship with me:
Don’t know how I ever did it
Go a day without You in it
Guess You were and I just missed it
For all the ways that life worked out
When I look back, man there’s no doubt
How lost I’d be right now
If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Thinking I knew ’bout freedom with chains on my feet
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus
Don’t know why You ever did it
Trading places with a cynic
Gave your life while I dismissed it
But in my mess, or in my doubts
You reached through hell, You brought me out
I doubt I’d still be here right now
If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Oh I remember the feeling, without You it’s bleak
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be
If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus
I’d still be falling to pieces, but missing a piece
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without it*
*Lyrics to “If It Wasn’t For Jesus” – Songwriter: Benjamin William Hastings
“Where Would I Be?” what a song that surely everybody could identify with… and sing. Benjamin William Hastings captured what so many of us have felt and still feel. He seems like a regular guy from within the crowd but Jesus pulled him up and out, holding him close. He’ll never be alone, and that’s where he’d be – without Jesus. Thanks for sharing this song.
Amen and Amen. Thanks for stopping by, Marquita!
Certainly true of my life. Didn’t walk His path until almost 30 years. Love the words “Reached into hell and brought me out!”
Me, too. I gave my life to Jesus at 9 but there were seasons where He had hold of me or I’d have been so messed up. Grateful. Forever grateful. Thanks for stopping by, Marge. You are a blessing!