Collaborative Conversations – Quotes to Stir Your Thinking on Leadership and Language in Workplace Decision-making

Blog - Collaborative ConversationsPhoto Credit: AJCarlisle.files.wordpress.com

Change is normal, and resisting change is normal as well. You may be part of an organization or company where sweeping changes are being implemented, even this week. Or maybe you are not on the inside loop of these decisions, so you are not privy to the change coming. Whether you are part of that process or not, consider how you might have a role in making change work, in your sphere of influence, among your colleagues.

You may already have read and profited from the book Crucial Conversations. Now consider collaborative conversations. Collaboration, simply defined, is “working together towards shared goals”. Collaborative conversations bring a collective intelligence to bear on the problem to be solved, vision to be defined, or direction to be changed.Blog - Collaborative ConversationsPhoto Credit: ThoughtFarmer.com

David Perkins, a Harvard professor, wrote about collaborative conversations in the workplace, using the metaphor of King Arthur’s round table. He described the beneficial nature of bringing several principal players (or stakeholders) to the table and treating each one with an equal or autonomous voice.

“A round table makes it a little easier to pool mental effort. A round table makes a group a little more intelligent…For a group to display intelligence in a sustained way, the members have to value their exchanges and stick together to keep making them. This depends on positive symbolic conduct [side messages sent by our words and behavior]…and collaboration… It’s not ideas, but people with ideas that make things happen.” – David Perkins

“One of the simplest ways to immunize a culture against broken trust, corruption, and animosity is to build a common vision.” – David Perkins

Perkins’ book King Arthur’s Round Table: How Collaborative Conversations Create Smart Organizations is a tremendous resource in developing this kind of decision-making work environment. An Executive Book Summary* can help you get started.

I personally thrive in such a setting and intuitively understand the value-adding nature of collaborative conversations. In researching this workplace topic, and choosing the links below, I came across a fascinating paper** by Heather Davis, a professor of RMIT University Australia.

Davis presented her paper at the 14th International Conference on Thinking (2009, Malaysia). She discussed how workplace leaders often choose “languages of war” in making and communicating decisions and creating change. Her paper is heady stuff but if you read her thoughts below you will want to read the whole paper. It gives huge support to the role of collaborative conversations.

“In [leadership’s] ‘language of zealous allegiance’, there are expectations of allegiance [in the workplace] that lay a path for uncritical acceptance and passivity. This manifests in an expectation that followers be conscripted wholly to the cause. There is little room for questioning. [Davis quotes Hage]: “Conscription means one important thing: there is no questioning of orders, one only executes them; ‘either you’re with us or you’re against us’. “ (Hage, 2004, p. 3).””

“Rhetoric plays out in the workplace too and can be tested by how well leaders:

  • hear and acknowledge the ‘other’ point of view,
  • see the ‘other’ as people rather than pawns or simply abstractions,
  • manage the distance, materially and metaphorically, between themselves and the people and sites affected by their decisions.”

“In the corporate world there are many examples of executives living and working in gated communities or otherwise removed by dint of corporate hierarchy or geography from the people and conditions affected by their decisions. Often, these leaders are also surrounded by people who can only agree, leading to little opportunity for double loop learning or deeply reasoned decision making processes. Whether our leaders live in gated communities is their business, but if they think, work and take refuge within a ‘gated’ mindset then we all need to be concerned. These conditions lead to hubris and have been the undoing of many leaders and corporations.”

“[Leadership’s] language of regrettable necessity translates directly to the “There Is No Alternative”. [This strategy] is used to always move the focus of discussion away from any big picture ‘why’ questions. This is done by shifting the focus to discussions only about the budget pie or, more particularly, the piece of the budget pie that is contestable. People find themselves fighting for a slice of the budget pie and energies focus only on the ‘pie’ and getting the biggest piece of it. This shifts the focus from larger issues such as whether the budget is set correctly, what has been included and what has been excluded. Thinking about alternatives is never an option.”

The role of the organisation is ‘to know its purpose and not be diverted from it’ (Drucker, 1993). This is a timely reminder here – easier said than done in times of flux, complexity and discontinuous change.”

“Language is the visible tip of the cultural iceberg that largely remains hidden.”

“Perkins (2007) used two metaphors in his presentation and so far I have only privileged the five languages of war metaphor in this discussion. The other metaphor used was the “five languages of peace”. The main difference between Perkins’ languages of war and peace are that the war metaphor is founded on exclusivity and a preference for limiting discourse to its [leadership’s] own narrowly defined boundaries. Perkins’s peace metaphor is founded on inclusivity and opening up the space for conversations and conflicting views [i.e., collaborative conversations].”

“Oppositional language and the pitting of one deeply held worldview against another will not lead to resolving the underlying problems of the workplace. Rather, space for conversations to surface underlying assumptions is required. Perkins’ language of peace metaphor confirms that that there are always other lenses to view the world through, not just the one that [leadership] prefers.”

Provocative reading from this Australian educator. Bottom line: Those of us in leadership carry a great burden of responsibility. We at times must make difficult and sometimes painful decisions. Adding voices to that decision-making can generate even more challenging processes to negotiate. Still, we will make more sustainable decisions for “better futures” if we bring those most affected (or most experienced or insightful) to the table. Whenever possible. That’s the gain of collaborative conversations – working together toward shared vision and shared ownership.

Stay engaged in your workplace. You can make a difference.

*King Arthur’s Round TableHow Collaborative Conversations Create Smart Organizations by David Perkins – an Executive Book Summary

Leadership Lessons from King Arthur – a Review of Harvard Professor David Perkins’ book King Arthur’s Round Table

How to Lead When Change is the New Normal

The Art of Collaboration (Collaborative Behaviors) – by Steve Dale (includes a SlideShare)

Collaboration: What Does It Really Mean?

**Troubling Invisible Barriers to Better Futures: Surfacing the “Five Languages of War” in the Workplace – a scholarly paper by Heather Davis, presented at the 14th International Conference on Thinking

The Five Literacies of Global Leadership – What Authentic Leaders Know and You Need to Find Out – by David Hames – Business Book Summary

What Is a Coaching Conversation? from Opening the Door to Coaching Conversations by Linda Gross Cheliotes and Marceta Fleming Reilly 

The Perils of Indifference – a Speech by Elie Wiesel

Cutting Through the Hype – What “Collaboration” Really Means – ThoughtFarmer.com

Making the Workforce Work! The Collaborative Workforce Initiative

Going to vs. Being Church – It’s Not Just About Sunday, But Sunday Matters, Too

Blog - Attending vs. Being Church 8Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:23-25

This morning, I was heading out of my neighborhood, later than usual, and on my way to gather with my church family. I carefully passed by this tiny little girl pedaling her bike alongside her dad who was walking their dog. Sunday morning. No plans for church, it seemed. It made me a little sad.

I was late myself, so it seemed clear they weren’t attending a church this morning. I wondered, turning out of the neighborhood, what idea that little girl had of church. Then it hit me that I was unconsciously defining church as attending vs. being.

God in Scripture does not define church as an event or a place, but rather a people. We are to gather (Acts 2:42, 46-47) as His people –  to encourage each other, to serve and pray for one another, to worship God, and to support the work of the church (not the place as much as the people). There is a gathering of the church, but there is also a scattering of the church.Blog - Attending vs. Being Church 5Processed with VSCOcam with f2 preset

As we go out through the week, being the church, we are commanded by God to love Him and to love each other. (Matthew 22:37-40) Why a command? Our default is self. In His kindness, God points us to an upward focus and an outward focus.

      “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.   By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  – John 13:34-35Blog - Attending vs. Being Church 3Crossover Parkville Baptist baseball clinic Stephen Arrington (yellow shirt), Suffolk VA, FBC Monroe, outreach pastorVictor Schloss, SEND City Coordinator for San Diego. With Jason Esparza in gray t-shirt, Stephen Dixon in white and Rachel Field.

As our culture trends more and more toward being post-Christian, we as believers in Christ must make more intentional choices regarding church.* Not making a decision is making a decision.  Are we attending church, not attending church, or being church?

Attending church maybe allows us to check something off our lists, but it’s not what being a true follower of Christ is. In fact, just attending is difficult to continue because our hearts and lives are not invested. It becomes easy, with all the distractions of life, to just not go.

Not attending church doesn’t get us to the place of being church either. When we make a series of decisions where we essentially become unchurched, we are in danger of falling away from God and His people. This is where the urging in Hebrews 10 (at top) is so vital.

Being church is what God calls us to ultimately. He means for us to gather and He means to send us out.

And the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him [Jesus]. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written,

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” – Luke 4:17-19

Being church means so much more than just being church attenders. It means that we are part of a group of Christ-followers. Partners. Both locally and globally. Loving God and each other deeply and taking that love to our neighbors and the nations.

The little girl on her bike, and her daddy beside her, might delight in this idea of church…and the God of this church.

[Jesus speaking] Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Matthew 28:19-20

Salt Shaker Ministry: Being the Church vs. Going to Church – Live Oaks Church – Powerpoint & Bible Study

Going To vs. Being [Church Edition]

Doing Church vs. Being Church

The Local Church – Minimum vs. Maximum by John Piper

I Don’t Go to Church – I Am the Church by David E. Bish

Going to Church vs. Being the Church – RagamuffinGospelFan

*7 Startling Facts: An Up Close Look at Church Attendance in America

Attending Church for the Wrong Reasons

Do You Go to Church or Do You Go to Jesus?

Why Is Church Attendance/Going to Church Important

Photo Credits (above) – bpnews.net

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An Uncle Like Abraham – Do You Have One? Would You Be One?

Blog - Uncle Bob - Abraham (2)Then they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their food supply, and departed. They also took Lot, Abram’s nephew, and his possessions and departed, for he was living in Sodom.

Then a fugitive came and told Abram the Hebrew. Now he was living by the oaks of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol and brother of Aner, and these were allies with Abram. When Abram heard that his relative had been taken captive, he led out his trained men, born in his house, three hundred and eighteen, and went in pursuit as far as Dan. He divided his forces against them by night, he and his servants, and defeated them, and pursued them as far as Hobah, which is north of Damascus. He brought back all the goods, and also brought back his relative Lot with his possessions, and also the women, and the people.

“Blessed be Abram of God Most High, Possessor of heaven and earth;
And blessed be God Most HighWho has delivered your enemies into your hand.”Genesis 14:11-16, 19-20

Abram (Abraham), the father of many nations, had a nephew, Lot. This nephew didn’t make wise choices. We are probably familiar with the story of God’s rescue of Lot prior to His destruction of the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18, 19). The story of Abraham’s rescue of his nephew may not be as familiar, but it gives testament to a good uncle, one we would all love to have.

At church last week, the question was posed, “What would it be like to have an uncle like Abraham?” I’ve been thinking about that question all week. On my side of the family, no uncle came to mind (extended family separated by distance, disposition, or divorce). I do have great brothers, dad, and dad-in-law…but uncles? Not like that.

Dave has an uncle who came to mind at the posing of the question. Uncle Bob. He is a man of great faith and love. He has a deeply generous heart toward others, and never seems to meet a stranger. He has always been kind and encouraging to Dave, all his life. Last year, he became very ill, and we went to see him, just to be near him for a few hours. We live states away and miss family times together. Thankfully, he’s doing much better and continues in his Abrahamic ways.Nancy & Bob Wink Jan. 2015 (2)

Our children have good uncles – some belonging to the family and some who have “adopted” them, during our life overseas. Our two who are married asked two of those “adopted uncles” to officiate at their weddings. Such was the character and love of those men.

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What is it to be a man like Abraham as uncle to his nephew, Lot? I see four distinctives in him related to his relationship with his nephew. These inspire us to be this kind of family – as Abraham to was to Lot – in the lives of those God has placed in our lives.

  • Abraham treated the younger Lot with respect and generosity. When Lot made a very self-serving choice in the division of land, Abraham did not object, entrusting himself to God. (Genesis 13)
  • Abraham responded without hesitation when Lot was in trouble. Lot chose to live in the city of Sodom, putting himself and his family in harm’s way. When a marauding band of foreign kings swept into Sodom, they captured the people and confiscated the goods of all the city’s dwellers. Word came to Abraham that Lot was taken, and he acted immediately. Whether Lot deserved saving or not didn’t seem to matter. Abraham’s response was that of “you don’t mess with my family”.
  • Abraham sought nothing in return for what he did for Lot. After his victory against the kings, Abraham returned Lot, and all the people and goods to Sodom. He refused any reward, acknowledging only the provision of God. Genesis 14:22-24
  • Abraham did not forget Lot but prayed for him in other times of trouble. There are times when a good uncle fights costly battles for their family, using their own personal resources. Other times, all he can do is fight in prayer. Yet, this may be the highest sacrifice he could make for Lot. When God Himself decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham interceded for Lot and his family. He prayed hard, this time entrusting Lot to a righteous God. Because of Abraham’s prayer, Lot was spared. Genesis 19

Are you an uncle like Abraham? Would you be one, with God’s help? It’s so easy to give up on the younger generation (and sometimes for the younger generation to give up on the older). God calls us to a different path. To be generous, and long-suffering with each other. To love, and fight for, and pray for our families – including those He’s made our family along the way.

How thankful we are for uncles like Abraham! What a grace from God they are! What the world would be like…if we took up those Abrahamic battles for our own nephews, nieces, sons, and daughters…and other family laid into our charge.

Do you have an uncle like Abraham? Either in your family or as if he were? Please use Comments to tell something about him/them. We will all be encouraged.Dave & TomDave & Sam

The Rescue of Lot (Genesis 14:1-24) – Fascinating Bible Study by Bob Deffinbaugh

Abram Rescues Lot and Meets Melchizedek

Extreme Love – Abraham Saves Lot – SlideShare

Abram Rescues Lot! – Children’s Chapel