Tag Archives: Birthdays

Monday Morning Moment – Birthdays and Seasons – the Punctuation of Life

Photo Credit: ArborMaxTree

Hello, Dear Ones. As I write, Keith Jarrett‘s Shenandoah is playing in the background. Have a little sit with me, and let’s talk about birthdays and seasons. My birthday has just passed, and it was truly fine. Full of reflection of past years and wonder at the possibility of another calendar year added to my life.

Grateful.

Oh…there was a momentary pity party. A singular evening-long regret that I have not always stewarded friendships very well. Not sure that will be changing (sigh…) which then took me again to gratitude for the friends who have stuck with me through all these years. What treasures you are!

This birthday has unfolded…with cake, cards, family, and some of those faithful friends showing up anyway.

Life is such an amazing thing. In every season. As we get older, so many things change but our hearts don’t really age. We still long for closeness with those we love; we seek out purpose in our days; we pray to finish well. All the things.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

A few hours ago, I had birthday lunch with a dear friend who is coming up on her 80th birthday. We both lamented that if birthdays punctuate life, then those celebrations ahead could barely count into double digits. Those times with family. Those opportunities of looking back and ahead. This beautiful woman with a heart full of love wondered aloud if she was/is doing what she was supposed to do with her life. I am so glad she trusted me with that, because it was my joy to remind her of the huge ripple effect she has across so many lives. All the good quietly overflowing from this servant of a woman. Continually.

My heart is just encouraged thinking about her…and inspired by the possibility of living life well at 80.

Another friend gave me a beautiful photo calendar. Every page has a picture of this tall, proud maple tree in our yard. She had taken a picture of the tree through all the months of this year – in all its glory, in every season. If that maple tree could talk, it would not lament one season over another one, I don’t believe. Oh, it may remember most gladly the leafy summers or its deep red Fall foliage, but each season has its own sweetness, its own beauty.

As happens, I find, one experience flows into another, deepening the lessons we’re meant to learn. Facebook Memories today took me to a blog I read 10 years ago written by Amanda Hill. She wrote about “glory days” and reflected on seasons, using the example of the towering oak eventually ending up in bundles of firewood. Here are the last few paragraphs – so worth your read:

I am not good at letting go.  I hold onto old pictures and handprint wreaths and have all kinds of problems letting friends slip away through the years.  I want to hold onto them like warm blankets, safe and folded, loved and cared for, put away in a cedar chest.  I want to hold onto a better time or a better place when secrets were yet unearthed and I was an oak who protected.  I want to go back to a time when I didn’t believe anyone could really chop me down.

And yet sometimes we have to be stripped down to be built up again.  Ripped into bundles and packaged differently and oftentimes devalued in the world’s eyes to realize what our true worth is.  A piece of wood cannot again become a tree, but it can light a glorious blaze of sacrifice…

Photo Credit: PxHere

This is a worthy calling as great as a tree standing tall, for “we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

Don’t look backward. Let the past slip through your fingers like fine sifted sand, knowing that God will reshape, and reuse, and redirect into something magical. Your glory days are ahead.  Brilliant blazing bursts of light that will dance and spit and pop with fire.

Burn bright. It’s what you were born to do. Amanda Hill

I’ve embraced this birthday with peace and even joy. Thankful for the life that’s been given to me. All of it.

Every birthday. Every season. With still many adventures ahead.

Our kids grew up with “Calvin and Hobbes” (1985-1995) created by Bill Watterson. Last week, on the Facebook page Everything Calvin and Hobbes, an essay was posted detailing Calvin, as an old dying man having his last visit with his friend Hobbes. It reminded me once again of all the seasons, before children and after, and relationships that weave together to make this wonderful life in all its hard and good. Thank You, God.

Thanks also to any of you still reading this ramble. Wish you could come by to share the last piece of my birthday cake.

Photo Credit: Calvin and Hobbs, Facebook, Everything Calvin and Hobbs, Lizzie Friden

5 Friday Faves – Big Birthdays, Long Life, Words on Inauguration Day, the Life and Wisdom of Hank Aaron, and Bonuses Make 5

Fastest week ever. Here I am late again for Friday Faves, but they have to be posted. It was a beautiful and amazing week for this woman here. Hope you will find something through which you are encouraged or amused. Happy week ahead!

1) Big Birthdays – I had a big birthday this week. Big. One of those with a 0 in the 1’s place. Another year, it would have been celebrated by a beach somewhere. With a dinner in a nice restaurant or a movie out with Dave and a family-size buttered popcorn. COVID. So…my kids planned a birthday lunch for me, and that would have been sweet enough. Coming so close after Christmas, I just couldn’t come up with any gift ideas. It was going to be ok…just being thankful for life and with my little family. Well…this birthday turned into a one-day-after-another, full of surprises huge hurrah!! Dear friends and neighbors showed up in so many sweet ways. In so many humbling and satisfying ways. That birthday joy was spread through a full week. Wow! So many thanks to you who knew this was going to be a bit bewildering for me. Can we do this again next year?!

2) Long Life – During my younger years, the Bible verses promising long life to those who honored their parents were easy to grab hold of. My parents were easy to honor. It just wasn’t much work for me. In fact, it was a joy.

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may go well with you in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.
 – Deuteronomy 5:16

Here’s to long life! And wonderful parents! Especially after one of those “big” birthdays.

3) Words on Inauguration Day –  Every four years, this large day is observed in the United States of America. The peaceful transfer of power from one president to the next (after a two-term presidency or if the incumbent doesn’t win the second term). There are speeches, songs, and oaths. Many highlights. The most special for me? The 22 y/o poet laureate Amanda Gorman asked to recite one of her poems for President Biden…as the rest of the world listens.

Below is just a bit of her poem. Click on the video for the whole.

“We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace
And the norms and notions
of what just is
Isn’t always just-ice
And yet the dawn is ours
before we knew it
Somehow we do it
Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed
a nation that isn’t broken
but simply unfinished.”

‘Not Broken But Simply Unfinished’: Poet Amanda Gorman Calls for a Better America – Camila Domonoske – NPR

Caleb McDaniel – What Is America? Is It a Place? Is It a People? Is It an Idea?

4) The Life and Wisdom of Hank Aaron – Baseball great Henry “Hammerin’ Hank” Aaron died this week. He was a great athlete and a great man. my Dad loved the Atlanta Braves…so much so that whenever they lost in the playoffs, the World Series no longer had interest for him. Hank Aaron spent most of his baseball career with the Atlanta Braves, and I grew up watching him and hearing Dad talk about him.

I should have known, but didn’t, how much racism Hank Aaron endured. Especially as he edged closer to beating the homerun record of national hero Babe Ruth. Aaron could bring homeruns…Photo Credit: Hank Aaron, AZ Quotes

…all day long. Hammerin’ Hank. He was a champion and a man with deep character. How is one’s character forged? With Hank Aaron, he probably learned it from a mom and dad, but he also unfortunately learned it through suffering. [“…suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”Romans 5:3-5]

I thank God for Hank Aaron – for enduring the racism of that era without bowing to bitterness. He was a shining light to so many.

Please find below some of what Hank Aaron said about life and baseball:

“In playing ball, and in life, a person occasionally gets the opportunity to do something great. When that time comes, only two things matter: being prepared to seize the moment and having the courage to take your best swing.”

“I need to depend on Someone who is bigger, stronger and wiser than I am. I don’t do it on my own. God is my strength. He gave me a good body and some talent and the freedom to develop it. He helps me when things go wrong. He forgives me when I fall on my face. He lights the way.”

“What you do with your life and how you do it is not only a reflection on you, but on your family and all of those institutions that have helped to make you who you are.”

“I am very proud to be an American. This country has so much potential, I’d just like to see things better, or whatever, and I think it will be.”

“The way I see it, it’s a great thing to be the man who hit the most home runs, but it’s a greater thing to be the man who did the most with the home runs he hit. So as long as there’s a chance that maybe I can hammer out a little justice now and then, or a little opportunity here and there, I intend to do as I always have — keep swinging.”

Hank Aaron: Chasing the Dream (1995 film)

YouTube Video – Vin Scully Calls Hank Aaron’s Historic 715th Home Run

5) Bonuses Make 5 – The week flew by. Any of the following could have been #5, but you can choose. I could not.

I dream a world where man
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom’s way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.
A world I dream where black or white,
Whatever race you be,
Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind-
Of such I dream, my world! – Langston Hughes
“A high school class learning about the Salem Witch Trials, and their teacher told them they were going to play a game.
“I’m going to come around and whisper to each of you whether you’re a witch or a regular person. Your goal is to build the largest group possible that does NOT have a witch in it. At the end, any group found to include a witch gets a failing grade.”
The teens dove into grilling each other. One fairly large group formed, but most of the students broke into small, exclusive groups, turning away anyone they thought gave off even a hint of guilt.
“Okay,” the teacher said. “You’ve got your groups. Time to find out which ones fail. All witches, please raise your hands.”
No one raised a hand.
The kids were confused and told him he’d messed up the game.
“Did I? Was anyone in Salem an actual witch or did everyone just believe what they’d been told?”
And that is how you teach kids how easy it is to divide a community. Some adults can learn a bit about this too.”

Worship Wednesday – Celebrating the Giver and Sustainer of Life – Life Song – Casting Crowns

Photo Credit: Bible Study Tools

Every four years, my birthday and the US Presidential Inauguration are celebrated on the same day. This year was one of those years.

Now, my birthday was one of the big ones, drawing a lot of exclamations from friends when they find out which one. So that either says I look or act younger than my age, or I’m way older than they thought. I’m wondering at my age, as well.

Not so much that this birthday isn’t getting celebrated – like a rock star! Bring on the flowers, the cake, and the meetups [COVID-altered but undaunted]. Yay, for birthdays.

Peaceful transfers of presidential power are also worthy of huge celebrations. It is the American way, and it’s happening again.

We may have mixed feelings about birthdays…and even about inaugurations. If we raise our gaze just a little higher, we can thrill to what is going on in the spiritual realm.

Whatever we might think about life right now…us getting older, or times getting stranger…we can take heart.

Perhaps we were born for just such a time as this. [Esther 4:14b]

Photo Credit: Salvation Army

God is not surprised, nor is He hindered in giving life or sustaining life. Certainly, He is able to equip us and keep us on track – in the works He has given each of us from the beginning of time (Ephesians 2:10).

Isn’t that astounding?! For us, yes; for Him, no.Photo Credit: Daily Verses

I take great comfort in the passage in John 10 above. Nothing can snatch us out of His hands. Nothing. No one. Forever we are His.

In thinking about birthdays and inaugurations, we celebrate the God who gives us life and sustains us through it.

Facing a new decade of life, I look up. To the God who keeps His promises…who gives us life day to day straight on to eternity…and sustains His children through it all.

As for the Inauguration and a new US President…we are not saved by any political party or president, we are saved by a King. With a forever kingdom…and it stands in beauty and power and glory.

Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Hebrews 12:28-29

I love Gill’s Commentary on this great God being a consuming fire: “…here it is our God, our covenant God, our God in Christ; not that he is so to the saints, or to them that are in Christ: he is indeed as a wall of fire in his providences, to protect and defend them, and as fire in his word to enlighten and warm them, to guide and direct them, but not a consuming fire to them; this he is to their enemies, who are as thorns, and briers, and stubble before him.”

Oh that our lives bring a smile to the face of our Creator and Sustainer God! [As the picture the Casting Crowns‘ song paints below].

May we take birthdays and inaugurations in stride, and in the context of a larger Kingdom…and a God who is very much in control.

Worship with me:

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You

*Lyrics to Life Song – Casting Crowns – Songwriter: John Mark Hall

Behind the Song: Casting Crowns Shares the Heart Behind Their Hit Song “Lifesong” – Abby Young

5 Friday Faves – “Beyond the Guitar” Doing What He Does, From Cynicism to Delight, the Glad Game, a Great Life & a COVID Death, and Life’s Comforting Rhythms

Happy Weekend! Staying on the positive in my finds this week.

1) Beyond the Guitar Doing What He Does –Classical guitarist Nathan Mills, on the platform Beyond the Guitar, arranges and performs themes from movies, TV shows, and video games. The last couple of weeks he has showcased two arrangements of his that display his genre at its best.

YouTube Video – The Mandalorian/Force Mashup – Classical Guitar Cover

Photo Credit: Beyond the Guitar, YouTube

YouTube Video – Spider-man: Miles Morales (PS5) Main theme on Guitar

Photo Credit: Beyond the Guitar, YouTube

Nathan teaches privately and via his Arrangers Academy (membership opens twice a year). His music (videos, sheet music, and MP3s) are why we are patrons. Well, and because we love the guy playing the guitar. Beautiful, nostalgic themes. Heart-soothing on every level and on any day.

2) From Cynicism to Delight – With that noise of social media and biased news media, we struggle to know what to believe about what’s going on around us. The tendency is to gradually go cynical, thinking ill of others, moving toward mistrust. Our thinking becomes negative, and we become suspicious of motives, questioning authority, and even disbelieving people trying to do right by others.

Negativity can become a habit…a negative habit.

This is no way to live. Cynicism dulls our thinking and darkens our heart.

How do we upend cynicism? Writer Jennie Allen talks on a podcast about how we can move away from cynicism and toward delight. Now, that is a surprising and almost old-fashioned idea. Delight is defined as “a high degree of gratification or pleasure; joy; giving keen enjoyment”.

Jennie Allen Podcast – Cynicism vs. Delight

What do you take delight in? It requires a measure of savoring, pausing to take note, considering a different possibility. We rush around in life, or at least in our thoughts – flipping channels, scrolling endlessly, moving from class to class or meeting to meeting with little notice to what’s going on around us (or in our own heads). What if? What if? We stopped, or slowed down, our minds and just took note.

Allen talks about the importance of what we put into our minds. Do we even think about it? 20 minutes on social media (depending on those we friend/follow) could begin a stubborn funk in our thinking. What about the people in our lives? She doesn’t encourage cutting people off, but guarding our conversations against the negative –  gossiping, complaining, criticizing, thinking ill.

In the space we intentionally gain from the guarding above, we can begin practicing delight. At how well things are going instead of how badly, for instance. How beautiful the weather is, thoughtful your neighbor, generous your colleague, wise your mom or dad…This isn’t putting our heads in the sand; it is just considering life from a different angle…just as true/real as the negative, cynical take.

Allen encourages taking note of art as a fast track to delight. Whether it is music, or poetry, or painting. The world is full of beauty. We forget that sometimes in our “screened-in” lives. Many of us live in a place of four seasons. There’s always something to marvel at in nature. For many years, we lived in a part of the world with only two seasons. In each was still a myriad of beautiful discoveries. I have always enjoyed watching people, taking in all that’s there for the observer, without intruding. Then, of course, there is the wonder of God. How he continues to infuse our lives with good and possibility.

“The opposite of being cynical is being life-giving, and some might call you naive for it, but for the most part, people just need that in their lives. Most people will want to go to coffee with you because they need someone to speak life into them and actually believe it.”Jennie Allen

Photo Credit: Empowered Living, Facebook

3) The Glad Game – There is so much we can learn from sweet Pollyanna and young Anne of Green Gables. Either through the book about Pollyanna or the movie. Or Anne: the books or the movies/TV series.

Both these girls were orphans, and both had figured out a way to thrive in their circumstances. Very different ways, but fascinating.

Ten Things Anne of Green Gables Taught Me – Samantha Ellis

Anne of Green Gables vs. Pollyanna – (In the Battle for My Mind)

I was reminded (see Friday Fave #2 above) of Pollyanna’s Glad Game. She was determined to find something good in every situation… something to be glad about.

YouTube Video – Pollyanna and the Glad Game

YouTube Video – You Surely Will (Pollyann’s conversation with the minister)

“When you look for the bad in mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.” – Abraham Lincoln

Photo Credit: Pinterest, Abraham Lincoln

If Your Behavior Is Contagious, What Will People Catch?

Networking Lessons from Pollyanna and Anne of Green Gables – Marzena Podhorska

4) A Great Life and a COVID Death – As we continue to physically distance during this pandemic, we are beginning to know people who have died from COVID-19. The nearest one to us died just before Christmas. Reverend David Pickard. He was just 76. One of the pastors Mom wanted to preach her funeral. He did. The pastor who officiated at Dave’s and my wedding close to 40 years ago. 

Pastor David has always held a special place in my heart. So full of joy. A smile and presence that would shake the chill off any roomful of people. He genuinely loved God and people. Generous and good, this man.

He always made time. That meant so much to us as first our mom became ill with cancer, and then years later, our dad with Alzheimer’s. Pastor David was no longer in their church, but he continued in their lives.

We have been in separate countries (for awhile) and states now for many years. When we heard he was in the hospital with COVID, we prayed hard like everyone else who loved him. It wasn’t meant to be. His time here was done, but not without leaving a wide wake of love and Gospel truth to everyone he had a bit of time with. He is so missed.Pastor Dave and his sweetheart for life, Mrs. Dottie.

5) Life’s Comforting Rhythms – Here’s to all the rhythms of our lives that we count on and continue to bless us. Christmas cards, even in 2020 (although most of them arrived in 2021 through a weary postal service).

Christmas cactuses blooming right on schedule (how do they do it?).

Kale planted in the Fall still yummy in January.

Daffodils and irises pushing up through the soil with the promise of blooms in the Spring of this new year.

Sharing hot soup on a cold day with old friends (the lunch location altered somewhat by COVID)

And birthday greetings [this one from a lifelong friend who hung with me through our many losses and gains, and my lapses in communication] and a memoir by someone we have also shared through the years – through radio and concerts. #Garrison[Karen, hope you don’t mind. Your note says it all. Especially getting through all the latest hards.]

That’s it for this Friday Faves.  Please comment yourself on the rhythms that comfort you and the things that bring you delight. Thanks for stopping by. It means a lot.

Bonuses:

Ten Habits of People Who Lose Weight and Keep It Off – Gina Cleo

7 Good Things That Came Out of 2020 (It Actually Wasn’t All Bad)

Here’s How to Get Stronger After 50 – Abigail Barronian

5 Things People With Tidy Homes Don’t Do

What If We Have Another Year Like 2020 – Nice Lessons Leaders Should Already Have Learned – Eli Amdur

Amazing Image of Unborn Baby at 18 Weeks Is Called the Photograph of the Century – Micaiah Bilger

Image may contain: 1 personPhoto Credit: Eric McCool, Facebook

5 Friday Faves – Storytelling, Just Mercy, Productivity Hacks, Birthdays, and the Impact of Our Lifestyles on Our Brains

What a week! A gun rights rally on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. The Roe v. Wade anniversary commemorated by a March for Life and name change (Sanctity of Human Life Day). An impeachment trial. All of this matters. All of it. We have to stop the hatred, the contempt, the division and start listening to each other…and apply ourselves to real and lasting solutions to our nation’s struggles.

1) Storytelling – We all love a good story, right? In our throw-away culture, stories take up very little room and hold incredible information and insight for us to consider.

Thanks to the Richmond Forum, we were able to hear great stories through three story-telling platforms and their pioneering founders. Dave Isay of StoryCorps. Catherine Burns of The Moth. Brandon Stanton of Humans of New York. Just amazing to hear the stories…

Photo Credit: Richmond Forum

Here are some samples of the stories found on each platform:

StoryCorps – Danny & Annie

The Moth – Anthony Griffith – The best of times; the worst of times. [Be prepared – this story will break your heart.]

Humans of New York – Brandon Stanton’s platform is pictures/videos and interviews of random people on the streets of New York (and now other places in the world). Below is one:

2) Just Mercy – On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Dave and I went to see the film Just Mercy, from the book of the same title.

Photo Credit: IMDB; Barnes & Noble

The author of the book, attorney Bryan Stevenson, is the founder of Equal Justice Initiative. He has worked for over 30 years on behalf of wrongfully accused, minors with harsh sentences, and those incarcerated with disabilities/mental illness.

Don’t miss this film, this book, or this man. I feel so fortunate that we will be hearing him speak at The Richmond Forum next month.

TED Talk – “We Need to Talk About Injustice” – Bryan Stevenson

3) Productivity Hacks – Redeeming the precious commodity of time and adding value are two things we all want to do at work and in life. There’s tons written on productivity including in my own blog.

Photo Credit: Andrea Lane, Redbooth

This week, Rockwood’s piece sparked my interest as did Andrea Lane’s on the same topic. See links below.

What’s Your Productivity Style? How 4 Personalities Can Get More Done – Kate Rockwood

How to Discover Your Personal Productivity Style – Andrea Lane

They talked about 4 personality styles bring different strengths to the work table, and how to optimize the strengths of these folks.

  1. The “Prioritizer” – analytical and competitive
  2. The “Planner” – detail-oriented and deadline-motivated
  3. The “Arranger” – facilitating and communicative
  4. The “Visualizer” – risk-taking and big-picture thinking

These cryptic descriptions may be all you need to find yourself identified, but read these authors’ hacks on how to best work your magic and help others on your team to do/be their best as well.

I am kind of a blend of an arranger and visualizer. Thankful for you prioritizers and planners in my work life that help us keep on task in bringing ideas and plans to execution.

Postscript: Business consultant Cameron Herold has written a book on how incompetent we are at running meetings – Meetings Suck: Turning One of the Most Loathed Elements of Business Into One of the Most Valuable. He coaches on how to successfully manage meetings. He also advises on how to maximize the effort and experience of each of the personalities in attendance – those different productivity types. [Note: read this piece on how he defines the personalities – somewhat differently from the authors above.]

Understanding Personality Types for Productivity – Slideshare – Tom Fox

4) Birthdays – It was my birthday week along with a lot of yours. There’s more and more of a push to make birthdays count for something. In my community, children have fewer parties with scores of friends and presents. The trend is toward experiences over presents which is also cool. For adults, often we are given the opportunity to donate to a cause dear to our birthday friends’ hearts. For me, the best celebration is just being with those I love – family and friends – and to stretch the birthday train as far as I can get away with. This year it was a birthday week… Next year with the turn of a big decade, I might take it to a month. Be prepared. [Thanks for the flowers and sweet cards from those too far to get together. You know how much I love words.] How are you with birthdays these days? Yay or not so much? Well, happy birthday, to you, too…out there, whenever it is.

5) The Impact of Our Lifestyles on our Brains – OK, so you just saw some of the birthday sweets we enjoyed… A sugar detox is always a good idea – for a month, a season, or a lifetime.

Below you will find two articles that were super compelling to me this week. One on the ill effect of unrestrained sugar intake – especially on our brain and mental health.

The second article describes 7 habits or lifestyles most damaging to the brain. Definitely something to consider before the longterm impact takes hold.

7 Habits/Lifestyles Most Damaging to the Brain

  • Inflammation – multiple factors cause inflammation – here’s a source for intervention – especially with diet.
  • Overfeeding
  • Nutrient deficiency
  • Toxic exposure – a list of brain toxins
  • Chronic stress
  • Physical stagnation – Exercise may be the single most important intervention on our brain and mental health.
  • Sleep loss

7 Modern Lifestyle Habits Doing the Most Damage to Your Brain

Thanks for reading. This, my Friday Faves, on a Monday. Some weeks are challenging to post on time. Have a great week!

Bonuses:

The Pain of Suicide – Clay Smith

A 2020 Guide to Rabbit Room Content

Monday Morning Moment – a Wave of Nostalgia and 3 Lessons Taken

This weekend, we had some family time with our children and the grands. In picking up some stray items last night, I discovered one of the littles must have been playing with a globe from a basket in our hallway. As I put it back in its place, I realized that to have reached the globe, (s)he would have had to reach over the picture of my older brother…who left us at the age of 61, 12 years ago.

At that moment, I was overcome by this wave of nostalgia…of gladness and ache, reminded of a dear person and a sweet time – in the past. To our little grandchildren, the picture was of someone they didn’t know. My older brother has been a huge part of my whole life – either in real time or through memories and processing life since he died. It wasn’t always pretty either, but I learned so much through loving him and trying to understand him during hard stretches.

One day, when they are older, I will tell them about their great-uncle Robert. They would have given him so much joy…and he, them. He was always great with children…even when we had our share of struggles as adults. Knowing him was worth that struggle.

That moment set in motion a whirlwind of thought – stirred by three other junctures in the last 24 hours that prompted three lessons learned in nostalgia.

1) Nostalgia is deeply personal. It wraps itself around a particular experience, idea, or person(s). Two people experiencing the exact same thing can have very different emotions about it in the moment and as time passes. What is important for us as we reckon with our own memories and that of others is to be gentle with and respectful of the experience and its meaning to us and to others.

Classical guitarist Nathan Mills of Beyond the Guitar recently posted his arrangement of a medley of themes – by composer Jason Hayes – from the classic video-game World of Warcraft. I personally know very little about this game, except the music (thanks to his arrangement).

My stirred emotions, in listening to this music, have everything to do with Nathan’s performance. However, there are thousands out there who listen to this piece (and those below) with strong nostalgia. The comments on his videos and Patreon Discord channel reveal the sweet memories of all those young people now grown who loved playing that game – waxing nostalgic through the music attached to that experience.

Why Do We Feel Nostalgia? – VSauce – YouTube Video

YouTube Video – World of Warcraft: Legion – Anduin Theme Classical Guitar Cover – Beyond the Guitar

YouTube Video – World of Warcraft – Warbringers: Jaina – Daughter of the Sea – Classical Guitar Cover – Beyond the Guitar

2) Nostalgia reminds us of the past and who we were in the past. Some writers on nostalgia talk about how our memories are glowing, more positive than what was real at the time. I don’t overthink that. When we are reminded of something or someone from our past, and a sweet nostalgia follows, we should just enjoy the moment and its association. Whatever it was in the past, if our memory of it does us good, then that’s enough.

Today, two old friends of mine have birthdays. Now, we rarely talk these days (unfortunately for me) but our seasons together were glorious. At least how I remember it. Working on projects together, praying with each other, laughing at the craziness of life, and talking deeply on things that mattered. These are my memories. Just seeing a birthday reminder refreshes an incredible connection with them. I loved those seasons when we were closer.

You know those times when we meet up with someone and it’s like the time melts away? We are ourselves together…as whenever we were last? That’s the gift of nostalgia…untested. Just a delightful reopening of a vault of treasured memories…of those kinds of friends.

It just so happens that one of these friends is in town this week, and we made plans to visit. The other lives farther away, and it’s been years since our last visit. Still, I’m hoping to move that nostalgia into real time and get her on the phone.

The Incredible Powers of Nostalgia – Jeanette Leardi

3) Nostalgia brings to the present what we learned in the past – to consider again.

Something brings my mom to mind every single day. Along with that comes all the lessons she taught her children. Her wisdom far surpasses mine, but the nostalgia of memories of her gives me hope to be more wise. She taught us so well. Working outside the home all our lives, she somehow redeemed the time. When she enters my thoughts, the emotions that follow are empowering and full of love.

One day, we olders will be part of what sparks nostalgia for our children and grandchildren. I hope we will have made memories together that will remind them of who they are and who they can be…to God, to us…to all around us.

Last night, on a twilight walk in the neighborhood, I enjoyed a flock of geese flying over. Their honking and precision of flight have always stopped me in my tracks…just to watch. Memories wash over me of times with Dave’s family on the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  Geese seem often in flight there over the Chesapeake Bay. Maybe these geese last night were migrating south as we move into Fall. Whatever the occasion, I’m always reminded of Lessons from Geese – what we can learn from geese to get where we need to go…together.Photo Credit: iTS Leadership

[If you don’t know that short piece Lessons From Geese – take a look, either in the link above on teaming or this pdf. Or the video below.]

All this is part of the nostalgia that makes me this person today, having lived in that past…with the memories that surprise me in the present…and could help to forge a better future.

Thoughts? Please comment below. Thanks.

The Psychological Benefits – and Trappings – of Nostalgia – Krystine Batcho

Why Nostalgia Is Good for You – Matthew Hutson

There Are Two Different Types of Nostalgia – Ashley Hamer

5 Friday Faves – Bringing Children into the Light, Jurassic Park on Classical Guitar, Chris Pratt’s Rules of Life, Comic Aparna Nancherla on Depression, and Babies & Birthdays

It’s Friday! Summer solstice was just yesterday. Even here at the tiptop beginning of summer, the days will begin to shorten. Maybe that’s the pressure of summer to squeeze every bit of yummy goodness out of the days that have our children home from school and vacation plans unfold. On this shortening Friday, here are my favorite finds of this week.

1) Bringing Children into the Light – Even being a writer myself, I don’t trust media. To believe something that pops up on my newsfeed, especially something provocative, I go to different sources to try to piece together what could possibly be true in all the bias and politicalization of our news today. The detention of illegal immigrant children has been going on for years now, and I was totally blind to it. This week, it came to light for me and for many.Photo Credit: The Cut

I’m not going into detail here. The news is full of how this happened – how children are separated from their incarcerated parents and warehoused. Older children can understand and hold onto the hope that, in time, they will be reunited with their parents. Little children do not have the maturity to understand…

It is wrong. I don’t know what’s right in dealing with people who make such desperate decisions to flee their countries and cross into another one illegally. I just know this is wrong. Thinking of my little grandchildren being put in the same situation was unthinkable. How would a 2 y/o or 3 y/o not be somehow wounded in this action.

When I read Brene Brown‘s Facebook post on this, it was a much-needed wake-up call, bringing these children’s plight into the light for me. The over 5000 comments were also a great education, as one after the other gave personal accounts – not just about the kids in detention centers but others damaged or destroyed by their parents’ choices. Even choices they think are the only ones they have. Or choices for darker motives… Within the comments were laments about children in our broken foster care system as well as children who never see light themselves because of the choice of abortion.

I don’t want to just talk and talk and talk about these issues. God help us to do something of substance for the children, now that we’re paying attention. This is too critical to last just one week’s news cycle. This problem is way bigger than one executive order, although hopefully that will stop the hemorrhaging. Hopefully.Photo Credit: Twitter, Arnold Schwarzenegger

[We did see something this week about the powerful voice of the American people. The outcry, across political ideologies, was heard. I also think the anguished prayer of people of faith was also heard and answered by a much higher authority than our government.]

Together Rising – How to Change the World with $25 – one way to give

The Missing Children: How Abortion Changed America’s Literary Landscape – Jonathon Van Maron

2) Jurassic Park on Classical GuitarJurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is the latest film in the Jurassic Park series.  I haven’t seen any of them because dinosaur-devouring-human action is not my idea of entertainment. Still the film scores are beautiful with John Williams as the brilliant composer. Nathan Mills of Beyond the Guitar has written a lovely classical guitar arrangement of the main theme. With the videography team of Tyler Scheerschmidt and John Shutika, the YouTube video of this theme is both gorgeous and whimsical. Not afraid of that little featured dinosaur wandering around the beautiful James River environs of Richmond, Virginia.

3) Chris Pratt’s Rules of Life 9 rules of life– On a recent awards show, actor Chris Pratt used his acceptance speech to spell out his . Here they are:

9 Rules to Life From Chris Pratt

  1. Breathe.
  2. You have a soul. Be careful with it.
  3. Don’t be a turd. If you are strong, be a protector. If you are smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons. Do not wield them against the weak.
  4. When giving a dog medicine, put it in a little piece of hamburger. They won’t even know they’re eating medicine.
  5. Doesn’t matter what it is, earn it.
  6. God is real. God loves you. God wants the best for you. Believe that.       I do.
  7. If you have to poop at a party, lock the door, sit down. Get all the pee out first. Then poop, flush, poof!
  8. Learn to pray. It’s easy.
  9. Nobody is perfect. You are imperfect, but there is a powerful Force that designed you that way. If you’re willing to accept that, there’s grace. Grace is a gift. Like the freedom we enjoy in this country, that grace was paid for with somebody’s blood. Do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted. Chris Pratt

4) Comic Aparna Nancherla on Depression – I never heard of Aparna Nancherla until this week. An accidental comedian, she is 35 years old and single. Nancherla struggles with anxiety and depression; growing up as a terribly shy child into a funny articulate woman. Her humor is so understated and staggeringly spot-on, especially for us as women. I’m thinking, though, she has perspective for men people as well. Her YouTube videos have me binge-watching. Writer E. Alex Jung posted an article on Nancherla this week entitled If You’re Feeling Anxious or Depressed, Aparna Nancherla Has Some Jokes for You.Photo Credit: The Day, Chris Barton

Nancherla has this to say about depression: “No matter how far or wide you go or how many lives you touch or how much money you make or success you achieve, your brain can tell you different. It is a constant companion and you cannot take a break from it…The truth of depression is it is often quiet and it is boring and it is insidious in its lack of spectacle.”Aparna Nancherla

5) Babies & Birthdays – This week brought a sweet new baby into our family and a second birthday. The baby is a girl and much-longed-for, making me a great-great-aunt (sounds old, I know, but the mommy and grandmother both married very young). Our little grandson can now turn forward in his car seat and he is discovering a whole new world looking in the same direction as his parents.

These are my five favorite finds of the week. I would love for you to share one or more of yours (in Comments below). Have a safe and sweetly peopled weekend.

Bonuses:

Vacation Bible School – This is a summer fixture around a lot of cities. Our church doesn’t currently offer Vacation Bible School, but young moms in my life are scurrying to find them around town as a wholesome summer option for their kiddos. I’ve decided that VBS is a community service. Tons of work on the part of the adults, not cheap, but worth it for families around town. The husband of a good friend of mine volunteers in the VBS at their church. 300 kids show up daily for that week of Bible stories, singing, crafts, and games. He helps the older elementary kids make their own Adirondack chairs. Great way to break up the routine of summer.

Is God Enough? – A Soulful Conversation  Podcast – Special Guest Helen Phillips – [she’s a friend of mine] with Sheila and Frank Battle

Reclaiming Your Family Trips From Technology – Chris McKenna

Photo Credit: Music Notes

Great Infographic!!! – Below is just one frame of the whole. Check it out.

Photo Credit: Music Notes

5 Friday Faves – Dads Who Get It, Pompous Putdowns, Kids’ Birthdays, Hole-in-the-Wall Restaurants, and a Good Laugh

Blog - Friday Faves

Hello, Friday Friends! Finishing up today’s blog at my favorite shared workspace. Last days of summer are upon us. Looking forward to Fall…however, taking each day as a gift. This is one!Blog - Shared Workspace - Friday Faves

Here are my favorite finds this week. Would love to hear some of yours in Comments below.

1) Dads Who Get It – What a blessing you Dads who notice and insert yourselves in our lives. With care and insight. In a Youtube video, a young boy, Mateo had a secret dream of being a professional dancer…or maybe it wasn’t so secret. His daily life was darkened by the regular taunts of neighborhood bullies. Then…enter the Dad.Blog - Dads Who Get It - Bullying - dresser splentalePhoto Credit: Dresser Splentale 

Watch this short and sweet video showcasing such a dad.

2) Pompous Putdowns  – Okay…I actually deserved this one maybe. I made a comment on a blog of one of my favorite culture commentators. He is a great thinker and I usually “amen” everything he posts. So, on the one piece that didn’t wash for me, I made a disparaging comment. Something that I don’t appreciate when it’s done to others. Thought about deleting it…but not before another replied to my comment with the phrase “what pious trout nonsense.”Blog - Putdowns and pious trout nonsense - Oxford Grotesque TwitterPhoto Credit: Twitter – Oxford Grotesque

Wow! Not just “rude” or “self-righteous”, but this altogether higher level of putting my comment in its place. Sophisticated and snarky name-calling. So why is this a fave? It was  a reminder that comments on a blog, Twitter, or Facebook walls sometimes elicit more withering responses than the original post itself. When I posted the comment on this blogger’s wall, I had no idea that it could come across as “pious trout nonsense”. Gave me pause to think. Ironically, The origin of this putdown is ascribed to Christopher Hitchens, a steadfast critic of Christians. So for a moment, in the comment section of a favorite blogger, I got my comeuppance (in a manner of speaking) by a premiere persecutor. Could be worse.

[PS…I did go ahead and delete my comment, and will return to commenting only if it’s affirming…hopefully. Thankful for freedom of speech but don’t need to add to the negative stuff out there.]

3) Kids’ Birthdays – Just want to celebrate briefly the celebration of mileposts. Our oldest granddaughter just turned 1 y/o. She is a social media-free child. Can’t post pictures, so I will use the image below to celebrate both her, and her adorable little 2-month-old cousin.Blog - Grandchild Tshirts

Kids’ birthday parties have just been something we participated in mostly as spectators (over the last decade since our own children became adults). Until now! This week, we hovered over a 1-year-old with cameras aready for her first bites of cake. A struggle with sugar she will battle the rest of her life. This day, however, we celebrate her…and the cake her other sweet grandmother made…and the lovely community she gathers – extended family who love her and love being family with her. [When she is older and decides to do whatever the latest greatest social media will be, I’ll share her pictures.] Blog - Grandchildren BirthdaysP1280069 - Copy

4) Hole-in-the-Wall Restaurants – Our city/state has some super finds in restaurants – both little obscure ones and the larger franchises. Kuba-Kuba is one I’ve enjoyed. Wherever you live , there are websites that will point you to hole-in-the-wall restaurants not to miss. Visiting Georgia often to see my Dad/family, I also need to check these out, and our children’s home state has sweet options as well. What are your favorites? [Please share in Comments.]

Blog - Kuba-Kuba - hole in the wall restaurants - only in your statePhoto Credit: Only In Your State

5) A Good Laugh – I’m a pretty serious person, but what a gift to have people in my life who make me laugh. How about you? Do you have people like that In your life? It’s great for your health. Whether it’s cancer, heart disease, or chronic mental distress, laughter is good medicine. My friend, Heba, makes me laugh every time we talk. Every. Single. Time.2006 -- Nov -- Heba & Daniel eating Koshery

Blog - Merry heart - pinterestPhoto Credit: PinterestBlog - a merry heart - powerfulintentionsPhoto Credit: Powerful Intentions

Online, we can also find great helps – like Michael Jr., KevOnStage, Brian Regan, and others…who are your favorites?

Hope your weekend is full of laughter…and at least one of these:Blog - Hanover Tomato Sandwich

 

On the 25th Birthday of our Baby Boy – A Photo Montage and a Playlist

Baby pics of Dan 2

I look over at their pictures,
Sittin’ in their frames.
I see them as babies:
I guess that’ll never change.
You pray all their lives,
That someday they will find happiness.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.  – Trace Adkins, Then They Do

Today is Daniel’s 25th birthday, and, on this quiet spring morning, he’s still sleeping, after a long series of worknights. He’s living at home now, but he won’t be for long probably. This birthday seems the one to mark his soon launch into the big wide world. I am both thrilled for him and nervous at the prospect as well. All. Grown. Up. Sigh…

If you know our Dan, you know he surrounds himself with music. His taste has changed through the years, and I won’t even give a try at identifying his favorite genres right now. It is definitely not country music, so he will roll his eyes at the playlist links below. Still, in this early morning of his 25th, I’m in a smarmy, puffy-hearted state of mind over this boy (man) of ours.

Daniel came home to us 24 years ago from South Korea. With each birthday, I think of his very young Korean mama who carried him but couldn’t keep him. She must mark this day with us every year, a half a world away. He had a bumpy start to life and has battled through a myriad of challenges growing up. His courage and determination have helped him push through…and much answered prayer on the part of his parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends. We are so proud of him.

So…I just want to put up pictures and close with Mark Harris’ song Find Your Wings. Happy Birthday, Daniel. Love you forever.Dan & family2015 March St. Patrick's Day & old family pictures 009n7607486_31797847_6155[1]Little Dan swimmingDan in jelabaDan in Tai KwondoDan, Dad, NaeDan in the waterChristie and Dan cooking2006 -- Nov -- Heba & Daniel eating KosheryKids at oualadia 2Dan, Nae & sea urchinsKids on stairsNA -- Christie, Daniel, Nathan Mills2012 December family snapshot 014IMG_3193 - Copy2013 October Trip to Delaware & Daniel SendOff 0682013 June Dan Birthday  Welcome Home for Nae  Bek a 034 (3)2013 June Dan Birthday  Welcome Home for Nae  Bek 037 (2)2014 Sep 26 Daniel's Graduation 058Blog - Daniel 2 (2)Find Your Wings

It’s only for a moment
You are mine to hold; The plans that heavens has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I’ll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I want to know
You’re walking in the truth

And if I never told you
I want you to know
That as I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh but more than memories

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It’s not living
If you don’t reach for the sky
I’ll have tears as you take off
But I’ll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings – Mark Harris, Find Your Wings                       

Lyrics to Trace Adkins’ Then They Do

Lyrics to Mark Harris’ Find Your Wings

YouTube Video – Find Your Wings by Mark Harris

50 Songs from Parent to Child

Country Songs About Growing Up

Songs for Growing Up (Another PlayList)

Rascal Flatts – My Wish for You – With Lyrics

8 Items for Christian Parents to Ponder

Photo Credits: Mine, except for pics from Daniel’s time in S. Korea (Children’s Home Society) – the woman in the picture with him was his foster mother who cared for him until he came home to us.

A Young Friend of Mine Turned 40 Today – and Because She Asked: 5 Bits of Advice

Blog - Beth Wayland

I have never seen anyone else take on the turn of a decade like my friend, Beth. Surrounded by friends and family, she danced and laughed and ate ice cream and danced some more. That was this weekend, then she jumped on a plane to spend her actual birthday, today, in New York City. Read more about that here.

Blog - Beth Turns 40 Ice Cream Bar

About six months ago, I received a letter from her. She wrote 40 women, older than her, about her fortieth birthday coming up and asked their counsel on these middle years of life. I am sure she heard back from all of them (us) because that was a small thing to do for someone as lovely as Beth.

I thought for weeks and weeks about what to write…What did I learn after 40? What could I tell her that might make a difference in an already amazing life? What could I say that she didn’t already know. Well, I gave it a shot…and finally sent that letter to her just before her birthday weekend.

Following are ___ of the bits of advice I gave to beautiful Beth.

1) “Love the LORD with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength”. This is key to everything. It was essentially the message of Jesus to Martha (Luke 10:38-42) which seems harsh except that we recognize how much He loved Martha. In ministry, we default to “love your neighbor as yourself”. We serve and serve and serve (like Martha did). Then there comes a time, if we’re not careful that we serve on empty. We keep those commands in right order because that’s what He intended for our sakes, and His glory. My nature is to be Mary, but the needs all around drives me to be a Martha. Folks around us don’t need a Martha; they need GOD.

2) Be a woman of prayer. Prayer is not a project or part of a program. It is meant to be our covering for every moment and circumstance of life. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thess. 5:16-18. Whatever our situation, we need prayer and perspective that comes with prayer. Brother Lawrence’s “Practicing the Presence of God” was a great help to me in those earlier years.

3) Don’t wait for “life” to happen. Some unmet longings are beyond our control – that “right guy”, the healing of a friend, reconciliation that didn’t happen yet, that opportunity that went to another. However, I think we struggle with hammering through this season, longing for the next. I find it a discipline requiring my attention daily to LIVE the life I want…and to which God has called me.

4) Have men in your life – fathers, brothers, whomever. There were both single and married women in the company of Christ & the apostles. It helps us with perspective. In the Christian community, we too often separate out by gender. I understand how that happens, but we should figure out how to be in company with each other in wholesome and holy ways. It makes a difference…for us…and for them.

5) Keep Writing. We can’t all be in your life every day, but when you write, we are there. Thank you for your transparency and generosity, your gentleness and humor, and your deep love. Keep writing.

Any who read this blog of mine know I offered more than 5 bits of advice, but this is all I will repeat today.

Happy Birthday, Beth. You are a prize!

Blog - Beth Turns 40 Blessed

By the way, if you have any counsel for all of us as we course through this life, feel free to share in the comments section below. You, too, Beth.

I will leave you with what Beth shared on this morning of her 40th.:

“When you enter in to the places you thought you would never recover from, you will find something solid. The lie is that there won’t be anything solid for you to stand on. Your fear will tell you to avoid, but when you “go there” you will find yourself more anchored and trusting.  You will learn about God and his heart for you and here’s the kicker, your heart for Him.  If you follow Jesus, he gave you a new heart.  This is the unshakeable foundation of your life – that no matter what does or doesn’t happen, He is trustworthy and has bigger dreams than you could ever dream for yourself, even in the midst of longing, loss, gains, and waiting.  Especially in the waiting.” 

Photo Credits – Beth Wayland

Beth Wayland Blog