Tag Archives: fair

State Fair Fun – Photo Montage

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Who doesn’t have vivid memories of going to the state or county fair? When I was still in school, we braved the crowds at night to take in the lights, rides, and eat our favorite fair foods. These days, it’s a daytime outing…still with lots of people to watch and memories to make with our people…grown-up and small ones.img_9315

These are our highlights of this year’s Virginia State Fair:

First fair of many to come for our little grands – p1280311

Fair Food – At a much younger age, it was all about candy apples and cotton candy.p1280369

Now…it’s the glorious fried foods that are only found most authentically at the fair. Even walking on the fairgrounds, the dominant smell isn’t the animals or the gas propelling some of the rides – it’s the smell of frying batter.img_9316img_9321Blooming Onionimg_9276Fried Oreosp1280309Funnel Cake – Once a year, this fried dough sprinkled with sugar, is my go-to fair food. Sharing it with the grownup kids with me that day was wise, but now I’m thinking I should have eaten more….next year.

Agriculture Exhibits – like with farmers’ markets, there’s something soul-refreshing about seeing produce brought straight from the earth where it grew. To have an opportunity to talk with the growers is very special. The pumpkins are as natural a part of a fall fair as cotton candy. The prize-winning monster pumpkins and melons, however, were a bit unnatural…doubtful that anyone eats those.img_9308img_9311img_9303

Artisans and Juried Crafts – Watching craftsmen make their art is fascinating (in its way, similar to what krue-tv provides in the music world). To be able to talk to them and watch them work is part of the draw for me to come to the fair.

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I also love the exhibit hall where the baked goods are displayed and judged. Alongside are the arts and crafts, and my favorite are the quilts. Incredibly beautiful!p1280380p1280388p1280390

Exotic and Domestic Animals – Mamas and Babies – The animals are so much fun, especially when you have little ones along. All the different species of animals – such a menagerie only seen at a fair! We loved the cows and their baby calves, and the hog with all her piglets. The baby ducklings and chicks…need no superlatives.p1280307p1280306p1280336p1280326p1280327

People and the Stuff They Buy – People-watching is so much fun at the fair. We, of course, figure we’re boring and blend in maybe….but who knows? I love seeing all the fabric of people in our culture. As often as I take pictures of strangers (much to my children’s chagrin sometimes), the only face-forward pic I took this time was of these young men. You kind of wonder what their stories are…and if they were skipping school. Hey…the fair only comes once a year, right?p1280360

Then there’s the stuff people buy – a huge exhibition hall was full of merchandise to suit various tastes of fair goers. My son, Daniel, said, it reminded him of the Ramadan Fairs of our times in North Africa. Aisles and aisles of stuff to buy, and people crowded in front of the displays. The Ramadan Fairs, like the state fairs here, are part of my “happy memory” bank.img_9329

Still thinking of the people at the fair: my favorite fair-goers were the kids and grandkids who took off that day to make memories together. Thankful for that.img_9319

Hope you are able to make it to the Fair this year…it was an extraordinary day…and, in the end, there was no room for cotton candy after all…and I didn’t miss it.p1280333p1280399

Monday Morning Moment – How Our Expectations at Work Shape Our Successes

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A blog title intrigued me recently – Almost Everyone Who Is Unhappy with Life Is Unhappy for the Same Reasons. It was a re-post of a LinkedIn blog written by Dr. Travis Bradberry (author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0). He writes about the role of expectations (of ourselves and others) and the impact those expectations have on our work life and relationships.

I see this so much in myself and in relationships both at work and in community. On one end of the spectrum, there are the expectations that undermine our successes – we don’t think we have what it takes to realize our dreams or goals. [This can also include our expectations of others, in the same way, especially if our expectations influence those colleagues’ view of reality.] On the other end of the spectrum, we may have expectations that are so unreasonably and unrealistically positive that we don’t do the work of realizing those same dreams or goals. [Again, this works against relationships when we have these expectations of others.]

In his article, Bradberry lists 8 common expectations that impact our work life and work relationships. He lists them and talks about them. Here I have written my own observations related to these expectations.

As you read and reflect, Dr. Bradberry is not saying get rid of expectations, nor am I. Expectations when honest, thoughtful, and kind are great motivators toward success. The adage “Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed” doesn’t really get us where we want to go.

After you consider the following expectations and thoughts, I would love to hear some of yours (in the comments below).

  1. Life should be fair. I have never understood the lament “That’s not fair!” It really reveals the heart of “That’s not fair for me!” How do we even make life fair? Our children, growing up, were never rewarded when they cried foul on fairness. We tried to raise them to practice kindness and generosity. That usually led to better than fair. In fact, if we flipped fairness on its head, our western work situations and family lifestyles would be quite altered, if what was usual for other parts of the world became our usual. That would be fair, right?
  2.  Opportunities will fall into my lap. There are times that opportunities “fall” into our laps. I call it “a God thing”. Whatever you might call that, it is rare and wonderful. In the day-to-day, we are to go after opportunities. Sometimes our very expectations of entitlement or pessimism keep us from even seeing opportunities right in front of us). Continue working hard, build your skill-set, learn from mentors, help your colleagues, practice thinking well of your boss, and seek out challenging assignments – these are fields where opportunities grow.
  3. Everyone should like me. I have tripped over this expectation. We think our own foibles are so much less annoying than those of others. If I consider myself congenial, you should comply, right? [The fairness problem nudges in here, for sure.] Bradberry summarizes this workplace problem well: “When you assume that people are going to like you, you take shortcuts; you start making requests and demands before you’ve laid the groundwork to really understand what the other person is thinking and feeling.” Rather than expecting others to be won by our personality, expertise, and past experience, we should discipline ourselves to practice winning the trust of a colleague, boss or customer… every time, as if it were the first time. This is a game-changer.
  4. People should agree with me. We honestly don’t want to have to work for people to agree with us. In the workplace, whenever possible, our default is to hang with those who do agree with us. This temptation sets us up for failure because we don’t gain from the critique of those who see things differently. Put your vision or project before those in other departments and see with their eyes what you might have missed with your own. Granted, be wise with whose counsel you seek, but do the work of seeking that counsel. Then share credit as appropriate.
  5. People know what I’m trying to say. Emails and text messages are almost communication. In corporate culture, even meetings don’t always cultivate clear communication. Be as clear and succinct as possible. Don’t lose the message in a jumble of clarifiers, justification, or story-telling. I’m not saying story-telling isn’t valuable; it is. The problem with story-telling is it can be contrived to emotionally engage when it actually takes away from the message. Again Bradberry wrote: “Communication isn’t anything if it isn’t clear, and your communication won’t be clear until you take the time to understand the other person’s perspective.”Blog - Communication at work - cbbainsealcareersPhoto Credit: CB Bain Seal Careers

Having lived overseas, we discovered the importance of learning the local “heart language”. In a work situation, the same holds true. How you communicate is colored by the focus of the one you’re addressing – whether it’s about ROI/ROV, employee engagement, product development….or fill in the blank. You can learn to balance between being true to your own style or values and adapting somewhat to the person in front of you (as a chameleon communicator).

6. I’m going to fail. “If you pursue an endeavor, believe with all your being that you’re going to succeed in that endeavor.” – Bradberry    We all fail sometimes; having that perspective is healthy. The problem is when we are so insecure or self-deprecating, our colleagues, boss, or customers lose confidence in us, based on our own assessment of our abilities. Not something you want to ensure by your own hand. [Read the whole of Bradberry’s article to get at the heart of this.]

7. Things will make me happy. If you’re not happy at work today, there’s not one thing beyond yourself that can change that. Not a different boss, not a better team, not more vacation, not a higher salary. This is a work on the inside that has to change your experience of work on the outside. We all know this. We all know…this.

8. I can change him/her. Okay, if you’re married, you already know the futility of this statement (and your spouse can say the same thing, by the way). When we get our focus on that boss we don’t understand or that colleague who makes us nuts, we aren’t able to focus on our work or the relationships that encourage and empower us. So what if you can’t change that coworker or boss? Can you be successful in your work if he/she doesn’t change? Most probably, the answer is yes…whether it feels like it or not. We lose enormous time and emotional energy on colleagues with whom we struggle. If changing jobs isn’t plausible or desirable, then figure out how to compartmentalize the distractions, and get on with your work. You can be a rock star even with difficult work relationships. I don’t want to issue a bunch of platitudes…but it is disturbing how much is lost from our workday in ruminating over (or talking about) stuff we can’t change…when there is still so much we can accomplish. Don’t sideline yourself with brain clutter – negative thoughts that negatively affect your work and relationships.

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Keep those expectations high (for yourself) and hopeful (for others)! Happy Monday!

Unrealistic Expectations That Do You Harm – LinkedIn article by Travis Bradberry

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Quotes from GoodReads

Manage Expectations So They Don’t Manage You – Alli Worthington

The Key to Being More Attractive – Business Insider Video with Tony Robbins [Quote: “Trade your expectations for appreciation.”]

Set High Expectations Because Nobody Rises to Low Expectations – Barry Canada

The Expectation Effect – (in the classroom) – SlideShare

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