{"id":12300,"date":"2016-12-12T07:49:14","date_gmt":"2016-12-12T12:49:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=12300"},"modified":"2016-12-12T08:02:33","modified_gmt":"2016-12-12T13:02:33","slug":"monday-morning-moment-them-and-us-how-can-that-be-could-them-and-us-become-a-we-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=12300","title":{"rendered":"Monday Morning Moment \u2013 Them and Us, How Can That Be? Could Them and Us Become a We?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"Blog<\/a>Photo Credit: Delta 7<\/a><\/p>\n

From the archives:<\/p>\n

Recently, I was in an odd conversation with a friend from work. The more we talked, the more we sounded like a Dr. Seuss<\/a> book. It went something like this:<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know how to be us with them. To be with them is to just be them. We must lose us; us no more will be. There\u2019s no us in them; it\u2019s so strange to me. How can they be them, with no us, you see? To give up us is too hard for me. So I can\u2019t see a way to get to we.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

[Seriously, the conversation went like that\u2026but better.]<\/p>\n

Battling the us-them assignation is an ongoing workplace discipline. Even in the happiest, coolest companies, there is still an intentionality to keep work life positive for every employee. That inclusiveness is a hallmark for high morale and low walls<\/strong> (read: no silos).<\/p>\n

\"BLog<\/a><\/p>\n

Photo Credit: Prolearn-Academy<\/a><\/p>\n

In a work culture where silos still exist, an us\/them mentality can grow as each team or department draws in on itself and ignores or suspects the actions\/values of others. It\u2019s not a healthy situation for any of us\u2026whether it\u2019s the executive team insulated from others or the [fill in the blank] team hunkered down in its own mode of trying to survive. The first can be as unaware as the subject of the story \u201cThe Emperor\u2019s New Clothes<\/a>\u201c, the second, well, is just miserable, and growing more so by the pay period.<\/p>\n

So much has been written on this problem in the workplace \u2013 about that culture where us\/them thinking and operations color productivity and morale. I have included several links below describing various recommendations and protocols to restore health to such organizations.<\/p>\n

\"Blog<\/a>Photo Credit: My Turnstone<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always been that person who says, \u201cWhy can\u2019t we just all get along?\u201d In reality, we don\u2019t have that situation always, but we can grease the tracks in that direction. Here are my own workplace rules regarding moving us and them to we:<\/strong><\/p>\n

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  1. Make a practice of assuming the best of your bosses and colleagues.<\/strong> \u201cRefuse to think ill of others\u201d is my goal\u2026and my accuracy in hitting that goal comes with practice and determination\u2026and grace.<\/li>\n
  2. Lean in to those with whom you struggle the most \u2013 the \u201cthems\u201d in your worklife.<\/strong> Especially the most powerful ones. Study them. Learn their language. Know them as well as you can. NOT for self-serving reasons, but for the benefit of the work itself. Any motive that only serves your personal situation will only make matters worse\u2026 \u2018Nuff said.<\/li>\n
  3. Refuse to get caught up in us\/them complaining.<\/strong> Don\u2019t make a big deal about it, but do your best to turn the conversation toward a positive end, change the subject altogether, or bow out if all else fails. Those negative conversations just bring you and your colleagues down and don\u2019t accomplish anything. A short-lived \u201cmisery loves company<\/a>\u201d satisfaction isn\u2019t worth the fall-out of such conversations.<\/li>\n
  4. Bring down the silos, one brick at a time, if necessary. <\/strong>Maybe you aren\u2019t experiencing any us\/them anguish, but you know it exists. What can you do, individually and as a work team, to move to \u201cwe\u201d? We have lots of work models out there for this. In fact, silos in the workplace are \u201cso 80\u2019s\u201d (whatever that means\u2026I hear it a lot, so I\u2019m using it here). Use some of that meeting time, or talks over coffee, to be creative in how you can work better across teams\u2026how you can learn more from each other\u2026how you can defuse territoriality? If the \u201cthem\u201d is management, you initiate dialog on setting work culture values that maximizes product excellence and employee engagement.<\/li>\n
  5. Put processes in place \u2013 through your culture \u2013 to keep silos down. <\/strong>I would love to hear what your situation is and how you are making positive steps to grow\/keep a healthy culture. Please comment below.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Sure\u2026there are times we need to process a difficult situation at work with a trusted friend. Yes, us\/them scenarios are painful\u2026and wrong, honestly\u2026especially in the workplace where we are meant to have shared goals, working toward the same outcomes. Maybe, the us\/them relationships in a company are too distracting and we can\u2019t see any solution (back to the Dr. Seuss-like conversation above). In that case, it\u2019s possible we look outside our company for another situation. However, you take with you a piece of the us\/them dilemma. You take you along to the next job. Better to develop muscle memory on how to \u201cbe we\u201d, whenever possible,\u00a0right where we are.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    [Sidebar: I\u2019ve written a lot about work culture \u2013 too many to mention \u2013 but you can search work culture <\/em>under Blog \u2013 Deb Mills <\/strong>and learn as I have about what is possible if we stay engaged in our workplace.]<\/p>\n

    \"Blog<\/a>Photo Credit: Buffer<\/a><\/p>\n

    Overcoming Us vs. Them Challenges<\/a><\/p>\n

    Breaking the \u201cUs and Them\u201d Culture<\/a><\/p>\n

    How to Avoid Us vs. Them \u2013 Huffington Post<\/a><\/p>\n

    The 10 Buffer Values and How We Act on Them Every Day<\/a><\/p>\n

    The 4 Elements That Make Great Company Culture<\/a><\/p>\n

    How to Save a Broken Work Culture<\/a><\/p>\n

    From Us and Them to We<\/em> Participative Organizational Culture<\/a><\/p>\n

    Them and us \u2013 How to use Trust as a Competitive Advantage<\/a><\/p>\n

    How CEOs Can End an Us Them Mentality<\/a><\/p>\n

    Us vs. Them \u2013 a Simple Recipe to Prevent Strong Society from Forming<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n