{"id":22233,"date":"2019-05-14T15:25:36","date_gmt":"2019-05-14T19:25:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=22233"},"modified":"2019-05-14T21:36:26","modified_gmt":"2019-05-15T01:36:26","slug":"monday-morning-moment-raising-adults-part-2-creating-a-culture-of-serving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=22233","title":{"rendered":"Monday Morning Moment &#8211; Raising Adults &#8211; Part 2 &#8211; Creating a Culture of Serving"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Helping-Summit-Kids-Academy.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22276\" src=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Helping-Summit-Kids-Academy.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"628\" height=\"497\" srcset=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Helping-Summit-Kids-Academy.jpg 628w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Helping-Summit-Kids-Academy-300x237.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 628px) 100vw, 628px\" \/><\/a>Photo Credit: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.summitkids.com\/encouraging-helping-behaviors-in-young-children\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Summit Kids Academy<\/a><\/p>\n<p>[Adapted from my presentation at a recent home-school conference &#8211; Part 1 on Raising Adults with the focus on work and responsibility can be found <a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=22231\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a>.]<\/p>\n<p>One of the most challenging tasks a parent has is to teach a small child how to be deferential &#8211; to respectfully give way to another, to put another first. Whew! This is a hard one. It&#8217;s not just about helping a child understand sharing. It&#8217;s our demonstrating and them seeing the value of people and taking hold of how we can serve or help them, no matter our age. Not for any reward for ourselves but just because others matter.<\/p>\n<p>The battles of will that communicate &#8220;Me, me!&#8221; or &#8220;Mine, mine!&#8221; can wear us out &#8211; both parent and child.<\/p>\n<p>Yesterday we talked about work and kids&#8217; discovery that they can make a difference. Work and exercising responsibility are their own reward. Often there is compensation, but work is a head issue &#8211; a decision made to insert ourselves into a situation for the good of all (both the worker and the larger community).<\/p>\n<p>Serving is a heart issue. In the role of the server, we do ultimately benefit, but the whole focus is on the one served. <strong>Serving, by its nature, requires sacrifice, sometimes small but, even for a child, it can be substantial.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Before we dive in, let&#8217;s pray to wrap our own hearts around this.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u00a0\u201cFather, we want to be wholly Yours. Whatever You ask of us\u2026we want to be ready and willing. Not only to be laborers in the Harvest, but to serve with the same heart and mind that Jesus had while He walked this earth. Humble, loving, deferential to others. A servant heart, a mind bent toward You, God, a body and life laid-down in love for others. We want to be responsible and to do good work. Teach us to take our hearts even higher\u2026or lower as the case may be\u2026to serve as Jesus did, in Your abundant grace. In His name. Amen.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When we model and teach work, the mindset or worldview we communicate to our children is<strong> &#8220;Get it done and done well\u201d<\/strong>. In action and attitude.<\/p>\n<p>In serving, one distinctive might be the military acronym: <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.army.mil\/article\/7114\/above_and_beyond_the_call_of_duty\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">ABCD \u2013 Above &amp; Beyond the Call of Duty<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cLet this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but <strong>emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness.<\/strong> And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death\u2014even death on a cross.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Philippians 2:5-8<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u201c<\/strong>He has shown you, O mankind, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you but <strong>to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God<\/strong>?\u201d \u2013 Micah 6:8<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cDo nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but <strong>in humility consider others as more important than yourselves<\/strong>.<\/em> <em>Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Philippians 2:3-4<\/p>\n<p>What if, along with with leading our children to be responsible, we created a culture of serving? What would our homes be like if our kiddos embraced serving as a good thing and something they were capable of? And not just for a jelly bean or a favorite TV show.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-Caring-For-Our-Generations.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22274\" src=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-Caring-For-Our-Generations.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"664\" height=\"367\" srcset=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-Caring-For-Our-Generations.png 664w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-Caring-For-Our-Generations-300x166.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 664px) 100vw, 664px\" \/><\/a>Photo Credit: <a href=\"https:\/\/caringforourgenerations.org\/2016\/06\/13\/older-people-serving-younger-people\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Caring For Our Generations<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/club31women.com\/about\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lisa Jacobson<\/a>, author, encourager and mother of 8 has a lot to say about her own experience of creating a culture of serving:<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>I did things right. The way things should be done.<\/em> Oh, and, of course, I was serving my family all the while. I was the sacrificial mom who cooked, laundered, and cleaned up after everyone. Most every job was done by me.<\/p>\n<p>And, as a \u201cshining model\u201d of service, I figured my children would eventually follow my example. It was obvious that I worked hard and did my best to please our family.\u00a0<strong>So wouldn\u2019t they just naturally follow in my footsteps? <\/strong>More is\u00a0<em>caught<\/em>\u00a0than\u00a0<em>taught<\/em>, right? But you know something? They didn\u2019t catch on like I thought they would. They really enjoyed being served\u2026and it kind of stopped there.<strong>\u00a0I was a good giver. They were good takers.\u201d <\/strong>\u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/forthefamily.org\/teaching-children-joy-serving-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Lisa Jacobson<\/a><\/p>\n<p>She then discovered how to teach her children the joy of serving others:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Start by letting them work [serve] alongside you.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Teach your children to notice what needs to be done<\/strong>. [This one point is so worth your time reading thus far &#8211; both in working &amp; serving &#8211; guiding our children to see, for themselves, what needs to be done. It&#8217;s a strong beginning to winning their hearts.]<\/li>\n<li>Let them enjoy helping out.<\/li>\n<li>Instruct them in how they can be a help to you [and others].<\/li>\n<li>Cheer them on as they learn to serve.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/forthefamily.org\/teaching-children-joy-serving-others\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Teaching Our Children the Joy of Serving Others<\/em> \u2013 Lisa Jacobson<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/BLog-Serving-Intentional-by-Grace.jpeg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22280\" src=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/BLog-Serving-Intentional-by-Grace.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" srcset=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/BLog-Serving-Intentional-by-Grace.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/BLog-Serving-Intentional-by-Grace-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/BLog-Serving-Intentional-by-Grace-768x512.jpeg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a>Photo Credit: <a href=\"https:\/\/intentionalbygrace.com\/a-heart-for-service-begins-in-the-home\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Intentional by Grace<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>\u201cGod does not need your good works, but your neighbor does.\u201d \u2013<\/em> Martin Luther<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Author, educator, and pastor <a href=\"http:\/\/andy-crouch.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Andy Crouch<\/a> writes about our callings in life. He is speaking to Christians, but these would richly apply to anyone who believes in God as our Creator.<\/p>\n<p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/andy-crouch.com\/extras\/the_three_callings\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Our three callings*<\/a>:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><em><strong>To bear the image of God.<\/strong> [\u201cBe fruitful &amp; multiply.&#8221; Our human calling is inextricably linked with the family where we first found our name, language, identity, and home.]<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>To restore the image of God.<\/strong> [Our distinctive calling as Christians is to actively seek out the places where that image has been lost, to place ourselves at particular risk on behalf of the victims of idolatry and injustice. So in every workplace, Christians should be those who speak up most quickly, and sacrifice their own privileges most readily, for those whose image-bearing has been compromised by that organization\u2019s patterns of neglect. In every society, Christians should be the most active in using their talents on behalf of those the society considers marginal or unworthy. In every place where the gospel isn\u2019t known, Christians should be finding ways to proclaim Jesus as the world\u2019s true Lord and \u201cthe image of the invisible God.\u201d]<\/em><\/li>\n<li><em><strong>To make the most of today (contingent calling)<\/strong>. [If you get the first two right, the third is practically an afterthought. <strong>Your third calling is your contingent calling: to make the most of today, while it is called today. <\/strong>\u201cContingent\u201d is a word used to describe something that could be otherwise\u2014in that sense, it\u2019s the opposite of necessary. It\u2019s also used to describe something that depends on something else\u2014in that sense, it\u2019s the opposite of independent. You are in some particular place today\u2014maybe at school, maybe on a bus, maybe in a workplace, maybe at home. And you are there with certain resources\u2014memory, energy, reason, attention, skill. All these are contingent. It is God within these that we must learn to discern and then serve as He leads.<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[Heady topics for a 2 y\/o maybe&#8230;but highly teachable concepts, as well&#8230;how would we teach and model these three callings to our little ones?]<em><br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cThere is one topic that I\u2019m extremely interested in that the writers of Scripture do not seem interested in at all\u2014and that topic is, actually, me.<strong> I am quite interested in the expressive individual that I call me\u2014but Scripture turns out not to be interested in me hardly at all. It is somewhat more interested in me as a member of a community<\/strong>, connected to one of the \u201cnations\u201d of the earth\u2014but really, <strong>what Scripture is interested in is God, God\u2019s mission in the world, God\u2019s commissioning of a people, and God\u2019s gracious invitation to me to stop being so interested in me and start being absolutely fascinated by [Him and] his mission.<\/strong>\u201d<\/em> \u2013 <a href=\"https:\/\/andy-crouch.com\/extras\/the_three_callings\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Andy Crouch<\/a><\/p>\n<p><em>*<a href=\"https:\/\/andy-crouch.com\/extras\/the_three_callings\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">The Three Callings of a Christian<\/a><\/em> \u2013 Andy Crouch<\/p>\n<p>How do we cultivate a culture of serving in our home, community &#8211; for ourselves and our children? What are you doing? What do you dream of doing? Please share in Comments below. Thanks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>As with work, so with service, we not only model but insure our children have the opportunity to contribute what only they can do &#8211; for others&#8230;whether operating out of their strengths or their weaknesses.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Looking back, I don&#8217;t think we created a culture of serving in our home during our kids&#8217; childhood. It was just easier to do it myself, right? They had so little time, between schoolwork and their other &#8220;just being children\/youth&#8221; activities. This is a regret for me today. There were moments, however, &#8211; bright and shining&#8230;teachable moments where they did see how serving mattered&#8230;especially when they (at whatever age) showed up to serve. Now I hope to help our grown-up children model and teach serving to their grands. Can&#8217;t wait to see them, growing up to adulthood, discover the continuous joy of serving others.<a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22278\" src=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"2272\" height=\"1704\" srcset=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge.jpg 2272w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge-768x576.jpg 768w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/2009-Retirement-Party-Nathan-helping-Marge-1024x768.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2272px) 100vw, 2272px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-our-neighbor-Martin-Luther-AZ-Quotes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-22282\" src=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-our-neighbor-Martin-Luther-AZ-Quotes.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"850\" height=\"400\" srcset=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-our-neighbor-Martin-Luther-AZ-Quotes.jpg 850w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-our-neighbor-Martin-Luther-AZ-Quotes-300x141.jpg 300w, https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Blog-Raising-Adults-Serving-our-neighbor-Martin-Luther-AZ-Quotes-768x361.jpg 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 850px) 100vw, 850px\" \/><\/a>Photo Credit: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.azquotes.com\/quote\/952353\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">AZ Quotes<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.thegospelcoalition.org\/blogs\/trevin-wax\/parents-take-note-spiritual-practices-common-kids-flourish-adults\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Parents, Take Note of the Spiritual Practices Common to Kids Who Flourish As Adults<\/em> \u2013 Trevin Wax<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Photo Credit: Summit Kids Academy [Adapted from my presentation at a recent home-school conference &#8211; Part 1 on Raising Adults with the focus on work and responsibility can be found here.] One of the most challenging tasks a parent has is to teach a small child how to be deferential &#8211; to respectfully give way &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=22233\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Monday Morning Moment &#8211; Raising Adults &#8211; Part 2 &#8211; Creating a Culture of Serving<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[926,2986,690,1447,34,1628,2126,1241,1705,1820,1148,4343,147,3580,903,1435,18,2819,1262,1732,293,1103,795,2611,747,1450,353,870,31,3752,761,789,610,537,1453],"tags":[6578,7176,7174,1835,7175,2118,2269,688,2255,7177,1031,1603,294],"class_list":["post-22233","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-attending-or-focus","category-attitude","category-babies-children","category-bible","category-books","category-character","category-community","category-contentment","category-conversations","category-creativity","category-critical-thinking","category-daughters-and-sons","category-family-2","category-generosity","category-grace","category-growing-up","category-jesus","category-kindness","category-kindness-of-strangers","category-leadership","category-life-skills","category-lifelong-learning","category-love-2","category-love-your-neighbor","category-mom-and-dad","category-monday-morning","category-monday-morning-moment","category-neighbors","category-parenting","category-purpose-in-life","category-redeeming-restoring","category-relationships","category-thanksgiving-or-gratefulness","category-volunteeringserving","category-work","tag-abcd","tag-above-and-beyond-the-call-of-duty","tag-culture-of-serving","tag-jesus","tag-lisa-jacobson","tag-love-your-neighbor","tag-martin-luther","tag-sacrifice","tag-serving","tag-the-extra-mile","tag-trevin-wax","tag-volunteering","tag-work"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pauPAB-5MB","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22233","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=22233"}],"version-history":[{"count":14,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22233\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22293,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22233\/revisions\/22293"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=22233"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=22233"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=22233"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}