{"id":34212,"date":"2026-01-12T08:38:30","date_gmt":"2026-01-12T13:38:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=34212"},"modified":"2026-01-12T08:38:49","modified_gmt":"2026-01-12T13:38:49","slug":"monday-morning-moment-offense-revisited","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=34212","title":{"rendered":"Monday Morning Moment – Offense Revisited"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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[Adapted from the Archives – Monday Morning Moment – Offense, Being Offended, and Taking Up Offense<\/a><\/em>]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Processing thoughts on the difficult subject of offending and being offended, a song drifts into my hearing from Dave’s office. He is riding his bike (on a trainer) to a playlist that matches his ride (slow\/fast\/slow). This particular song pounding into my head is rock band The Eagles<\/a>\u2018 Get Over It<\/em><\/a>. [Dave will also pull that song up on the occasion he recognizes he\u2019s having a pity party.]<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve had some great friends in my life who have spoken reason to me in times when something said or done to me (or to someone I cared about) offended. \u201cGet over it!\u201d<\/strong> was actually a helpful \u201cslap\u201d into reality for me. Reminds me of that old commercial<\/a>, \u201cThanks! I needed that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The motivation for this piece is walking alongside people I love who have been deeply offended and don\u2019t see a way to get past it. Offenses are hard, especially if they seem intentional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We still have a choice. We can choose not to be offended\u2026whether it felt the seeming offense was directed toward us or we are tempted to take up offense<\/em> <\/a>for another.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Author Desir\u00e9e M. Mondesir<\/a> writes a \u201cslap to the face\u201d piece<\/a> on our culture\u2019s move to looking for and taking up offense. It\u2019s especially fascinating to me because she refers to a student revolt at Yale University. Having taught there years ago, I can see this gradual evolution from reason to riot. It\u2019s a stunning change in society and we are none immune to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Sign of the Last Days \u2013 Offense<\/em> \u2013 Desir\u00e9e M. Mondesir<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mondesir refers to this cultural shift as being a sign of end times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.\u201d \u2013 <\/em>Jesus<\/strong> \u2013 Matthew 24:10-13<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure sounds like today\u2019s culture, in the US anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Writer and counselor John Bevere<\/a> has written a fascinating book on offense entitled The Bait of Satan: Living Free From the Deadly Trap of Offense<\/em><\/a>. The title put me off at first but in reading it, the whole issue of offense is highlighted as something that turns us inward and keeps us from healthy relationships with one another and with God. When you think about it, Eve, in the first pages of the Torah\/Old Testament [Genesis 3:2-7<\/a>], was the first of humankind to act in offense. In her conversation with the Serpent tempter, she reacted to the Serpent\u2019s suggestion, questioning the instruction (and the goodness) of God. To me, it demonstrates her taking offense that she would be drawn into Satan\u2019s ruse. Even acting in rebellion, presuming God didn\u2019t mean good toward her. She decided for herself <\/em>to eat from the tree (the one tree God had forbidden), and the consequences of her choosing continue to today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What could Eve have done differently? She could have trusted God\u2019s heart toward her. If she fell into doubt (through Satan\u2019s cunning argument), she could have sought out the Creator first before she acted on a lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Eve acted in this way, and took the bait, we can see how we, too, can be drawn in \u2013 becoming disoriented by someone\u2019s words or deeds, and forgetting what is really the truth of the matter. Our emotions fly away with us, and we bind ourselves in the chains of offense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Joe Levi<\/a> puts it this way:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSomeone else cannot \u201coffend\u201d you<\/strong> \u2013 however, you can choose<\/strong> whether or not to take offense at something someone says or does.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Someone else cannot make you mad, happy, sad, or offended \u2013 you, and you alone can control how you react to the world around you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Learn and apply that one relatively simple lesson, and you\u2019ll be much happier in life.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We may not be able to choose our immediate emotion over a word or action perceived as against us, but we can develop a habit or discipline to determine NOT to take offense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Currently, the news media is having a hey-day with sound-bytes and interviews hand-picked to incite offense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can choose not to take the bait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Photo Credit: Quote Fancy, Bryant Mcgill<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As for personal situations, people who offend do not always mean to offend. [I don\u2019t say this lightly. Of course, there are those who do. I also am not talking about abuse here. That is a whole other topic, but the principles still apply.] No one knows truly what\u2019s inside us that gives us struggle, not even ourselves. Like the Mcgill quote states, it\u2019s only in our response that we discover that which is still unresolved. Reacting in self-defense or in counter-attack mode brings more hurt. \u201cHurt people hurt people.\u201d With practice, I can determine not to carry hurt away from a conversation or interaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In situations between two people, we can choose not to be offended, but how do we deal with the offense?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Advisor Charles H. Green<\/a> describes the offender and the offended. He gives excellent counsel in his article Being Offensive vs. Being Offended \u2013 and Trust<\/em><\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n