{"id":3731,"date":"2015-07-02T07:38:40","date_gmt":"2015-07-02T11:38:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=3731"},"modified":"2015-07-02T08:47:26","modified_gmt":"2015-07-02T12:47:26","slug":"the-story-of-us-a-quick-bit-about-marriage-through-its-difficult-seasons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/?p=3731","title":{"rendered":"The Story of Us – A Quick Bit about Marriage Through Its Difficult Seasons"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"2009<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cContempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over\u2014expectations, or thanksgivings.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0– Gary Thomas*<\/p>\n

\u201cI wouldn’t be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can’t tolerate in their spouse.\u201d\u00a0<\/em>\u00a0 – Gary Thomas*<\/p>\n

The Story of Us (1999), a film, <\/em>starring Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer, details a marriage gone flat. I wanted to see the film at the time but the R rating (for language and brief sexuality) deterred me. Just yesterday, I caught the last half-hour of it, and loved that bit. Not recommending the whole film necessarily (it got terrible reviews) but\u00a0Michelle Pfeiffer’s\u00a0monolog at the end is amazing.\"Blog<\/a><\/p>\n

To set the scene (if you didn’t see the movie either), Willis and Pfeiffer (actors I love) are Ben and Kate in a 15-year marriage. It has unwoven terribly over time. While their two children are away at summer camp, they decide to separate. Toward the end of the film, they are both rethinking their decision. As they pick up their children together, the emotional tension of that reunion is so touching. The monolog, in that last scene, is a great declaration of why not<\/strong> to destroy “the story of us”.<\/p>\n

Before you watch<\/a> (or read**) that scene, let me just say this about marriage and divorce…<\/p>\n

My family history is riddled with divorce, and I was afraid of marriage because of all\u00a0my biological family issues. Divorce happens, and honestly, there are situations when we can’t see any other way out, or through. Still, marriage, as we all at least say if not always believe, is worth the fight.<\/p>\n

There are so many reasons to work through the dry and difficult seasons of marriage. Gary L. Thomas is a great teacher on this subject and I\u00a0recommend all of his books on marriage. They are practical and empathetic and full of hope.<\/p>\n

One thing I value is history in relationships. When we went through our hard seasons in marriage, I held on to three things: 1) wanting to\u00a0honor God in my marriage; 2) never wanting the consequences of divorce (had experienced those as a child growing up in divorce); and 3) not wanting to\u00a0lose our life together (“the story of us”).<\/p>\n

We, my husband and I, are in a different place now, and I can say to any in fragile relationships right now, “Wait for it!” “Work for it!” Of course, it takes two. Pfeiffer’s monolog would have had a whole other feel if Willis didn’t respond, in the film, the way he did. In married life, it does take two, but God, in His mercy and love, adds great power and grace to the one willing. Hold on to that.<\/p>\n

So here’s just a part of Pfeiffer’s monolog (women, especially, might enjoy reading this out loud, if you’re in a private place – so full of earnestness and vulnerability – just sayin’):<\/p>\n

“We\u2019re an \u201cus\u201d<\/strong>. There\u2019s a history and histories don\u2019t happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy or somewhere back there, there were cities built on top of other cities, but I don\u2019t want to build another city. I like this city<\/b>…That\u2019s a dance you perfect over time. And it\u2019s hard, it\u2019s much harder than I thought it would be, but there\u2019s more good than bad<\/b>. And you don\u2019t just give up. And it\u2019s not for the sake of the children<\/b>, but they\u2019re great kids aren\u2019t they? And we made them – I mean think about that – there were no people there and then there were people – two of them. And they grew…\u00a0 Let\u2019s face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, why shouldn\u2019t it be your annoying traits? I\u2019m no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so at least I can find the beach, but that\u2019s not a criticism of you, it\u2019s just a strength of mine. And you\u2019re a good friend and good friends are hard to find<\/b>…\u00a0I mean I guess what I\u2019m trying to say is – I love you.”**<\/em><\/p>\n

[I know this is just a movie and maybe not a great one – it just reminded me – the bit I saw, and the monolog – of possibilities and hope. For you who have been terribly hurt in marriages you saw no way to save, God knows…and wants to heal that place in your heart.]<\/p>\n

*Gary L. Thomas Quotes at Goodreads<\/a><\/p>\n

YouTube Video – The Story of Us – Ending – Michelle Pfeiffer’s Amazing Monolog<\/a><\/p>\n

**One of the Best Monologs Ever<\/a><\/p>\n

The Story of Us<\/em> film<\/a><\/p>\n

How\u00a0The Story of Us<\/em>\u00a0Should Have Ended – just for fun – a variation but with the same conclusion<\/a><\/p>\n

A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Intimacy, Friendship, and Purpose in Your Marriage<\/em> by Gary Thomas<\/a><\/p>\n

A Lifelong Love<\/em> Quotes<\/a><\/p>\n

Gary Thomas Answers Your Marriage Questions<\/a><\/p>\n

YouTube Video – The Story of Us<\/em> – Taylor Swift\u00a0– Great song – Disclaimer – NOT about marriage<\/a><\/p>\n

Photo Credit: Wikipedia.com<\/span><\/u><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cContempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over\u2014expectations, or thanksgivings.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0– Gary Thomas* \u201cI wouldn’t be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from … Continue reading The Story of Us – A Quick Bit about Marriage Through Its Difficult Seasons<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"yes","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[926,690,1241,147,1454,1265,50,903,1435,1267,33,317,1103,932,795,337,719,761,789,1178,32],"tags":[1533,1531,151,494,1532,42,1530,1534,291,1529],"class_list":["post-3731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-attending-or-focus","category-babies-children","category-contentment","category-family-2","category-fresh-start","category-friends","category-god","category-grace","category-growing-up","category-healing","category-inspired","category-lessons-learned","category-lifelong-learning","category-loneliness","category-love-2","category-marriage-2","category-reconciliationforgiveness","category-redeeming-restoring","category-relationships","category-sacrifice","category-walk-with-god","tag-a-lifelong-love","tag-bruce-willis","tag-divorce","tag-gary-l-thomas","tag-history","tag-marriage","tag-michelle-pfieffer","tag-monolog","tag-reconciliation","tag-the-story-of-us"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pauPAB-Yb","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3731","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3731"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3731\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3752,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3731\/revisions\/3752"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3731"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3731"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/debmillswriter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3731"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}