The great transitions of life, as we get older, stagger us at times. This week we have experienced the death of a friend and the retirement of a faithful worker. It has given pause to reflect on their lives and remember how valuable life, work, and relationships are.
Our friend who died earlier this week is also part of our family, being the dad to our sweet daughter-in-law. His parting was too sudden, the result of cancer that took an aggressive turn just in a matter of weeks. We share grandchildren with him. He is dear to them, and, thusly, dear to us.
We are thankful for the time we have had with him but wanted more. He longed for more time with these little grands, but what he had would have to suffice. He had a generous heart and they knew him that way. They prayed for him every day which moved us to pray better for him.
His passing is still shocking for us, happening so quickly, but we take comfort in this Bible verse: “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)
The other transition in life that was halting to us was the retirement of a long-time friend. Over 30 years in international work. He and his amazing wife have been so faithful and focused in the work that God gave them. No “looking back over the plow” (Luke 9:62) for these two. Retirement will definitely advance differently in this friend’s life. His boss even said, on his retirement, “The Energizer bunny only has an on/off switch”. No real slow down for this one until God says (way, way down the road hopefully) “Well done, good and faithful servant”.
[On one of his many adventures some call work]
[Our “retiring friend” and his awesome wife who is his counterpart – strong, kind, and loving – a true partner in the work]
Ullie Kaye Poetry has been a constant read for me this week in grieving and celebrating. She clearly knows the experience of grieving, and of celebrating people we love, and of honoring the God who “carries mountains”.
[This friend and our daughter who has known his influence]
These two men – different and yet similar – loved and appreciated. We will miss the one until Heaven. We will miss the other as they move away to another work. We hold both in our hearts and will never forget what we have learned and gained from each. God is good…all the time.
Processing thoughts on the difficult subject of offending and being offended, a song drifts into my hearing from Dave’s office. He is riding his bike (on a trainer) to a playlist that matches his ride (slow/fast/slow). This particular song pounding into my head is rock band The Eagles‘ Get Over It. [Dave will also pull that song up on the occasion he recognizes he’s having a pity party.]
I’ve had some great friends in my life who have spoken reason to me in times when something said or done to me (or to someone I cared about) offended. “Get over it!” was actually a helpful “slap” into reality for me. Reminds me of that old commercial, “Thanks! I needed that.”
The motivation for this piece is walking alongside people I love who have been deeply offended and don’t see a way to get past it. Offenses are hard, especially if they seem intentional.
We still have a choice. We can choose not to be offended…whether it felt the seeming offense was directed toward us or we are tempted to take up offensefor another.
Author Desirée M. Mondesir writes a “slap to the face” piece on our culture’s move to looking for and taking up offense. It’s especially fascinating to me because she refers to a student revolt at Yale University. Having taught there years ago, I can see this gradual evolution from reason to riot. It’s a stunning change in society and we are none immune to it.
Mondesir refers to this cultural shift as being a sign of end times.
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.” – Jesus – Matthew 24:10-13
Sure sounds like today’s culture, in the US anyway.
Writer and counselor John Bevere has written a fascinating book on offense entitled The Bait of Satan: Living Free From the Deadly Trap of Offense. The title put me off at first but in reading it, the whole issue of offense is highlighted as something that turns us inward and keeps us from healthy relationships with one another and with God. When you think about it, Eve, in the first pages of the Torah/Old Testament [Genesis 3:2-7], was the first of humankind to act in offense. In her conversation with the Serpent tempter, she reacted to the Serpent’s suggestion, questioning the instruction (and the goodness) of God. To me, it demonstrates her taking offense that she would be drawn into Satan’s ruse. Even acting in rebellion, presuming God didn’t mean good toward her. She decided for herself to eat from the tree (the one tree God had forbidden), and the consequences of her choosing continue to today.
What could Eve have done differently? She could have trusted God’s heart toward her. If she fell into doubt (through Satan’s cunning argument), she could have sought out the Creator first before she acted on a lie.
When Eve acted in this way, and took the bait, we can see how we, too, can be drawn in – becoming disoriented by someone’s words or deeds, and forgetting what is really the truth of the matter. Our emotions fly away with us, and we bind ourselves in the chains of offense.
“Someone else cannot “offend” you – however, you can choosewhether or not to take offense at something someone says or does.
Someone else cannot make you mad, happy, sad, or offended – you, and you alone can control how you react to the world around you.
Learn and apply that one relatively simple lesson, and you’ll be much happier in life.”
We may not be able to choose our immediate emotion over a word or action perceived as against us, but we can develop a habit or discipline to determine NOT to take offense.
Currently, the news media is having a hey-day with sound-bytes and interviews hand-picked to incite offense.
As for personal situations, people who offend do not always mean to offend. [I don’t say this lightly. Of course, there are those who do. I also am not talking about abuse here. That is a whole other topic, but the principles still apply.] No one knows truly what’s inside us that gives us struggle, not even ourselves. Like the Mcgill quote states, it’s only in our response that we discover that which is still unresolved. Reacting in self-defense or in counter-attack mode brings more hurt. “Hurt people hurt people.” With practice, I can determine not to carry hurt away from a conversation or interaction.
In situations between two people, we can choose not to be offended, but how do we deal with the offense?
The offender communicates disrespect. A social violation occurs. Two people are involved and the resolution of that interaction requires input from both of them. When the one offended determines to engage in good faith, trying to seek understanding and rebuild trust, s/he may actually discover the intent of the offending person. A misunderstanding or an action following a perceived threat on the part of the offender may be the issue rather than an intent to hurt.
On the side of the one offended, this is not a social situation. It is deeply personal. Only the one offended knows the extent of the offending words/actions. For this reason, the offended person can refuse to think ill of the offender…and not take offense. Then take steps toward reconciliation or, if that’s not possible, make a personal decision not to be hurt by that person. This is not easy…especially at first in training one’s responses.
“The answer is a little paradoxical: We should strive not to offend or disrespect others. At the same time, we should also strive to not feel offended, or disrespected, for long. In other words, we should strive to be kind socially, and to feel free psychologically.”
Forgiveness opens the door wide to reconciliation. Forgiveness can defuse the hurt. Boundaries may come into play, but if the boundaries are built out of fear, dread, anger, or hatred, we are still not free from offense.
My biological father abandoned us long before my mom left him (before my sixth birthday). I saw him only twice after that. For years, I wrote him letters with no response, and then I stopped. My love for him grew cold. If he had any sense of needing forgiveness or asking for forgiveness, I don’t know. He died before I told him I forgave him. Every time this comes to mind, forgiving him is revisited. That’s a regret for me. However, I know the beautiful experience of forgiving a long-played offense from my older brother. Robert, who had deep pain of his own, struck out at others. My response for years was being offended at him or taking up an offense for other family members. It wasn’t pretty. Then, thanks to the wisdom and honesty of friends, I came to my senses on his offenses and my reactions. No more taking up an offense when Robert attacked…and the attacks died. He and I became closer than we had ever been over our lives. In fact, he gentled in his relationship with our siblings also. Those brief years (which could have been more if I had understood sooner) were great blessings (hopefully to both of us). When he died suddenly in his 60s, I carried no regrets. #Unoffendable #Forgiveness – I forgave him and he forgave me…without the words but walking out forgiveness with each other. So much grace in that.
“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, which are based on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ.…When you were dead in your trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our trespasses, having canceled the debt ascribed to us in the decrees that stood against us. He took it away, nailing it to the cross! And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” – Colossians 2:8, 13-14
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:7-8
“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21
Last night, a small group of women gathered in a dimly light room in a church in Richmond. I was there. Just down the hall an Alcohol Anonymous meeting was also being held. In the quiet of that space, the Lord came close.
We had been prompted earlier in the day by the young woman who spearheaded this prayer force that we would spend part of the evening in confession and repentance. It put me to thinking on what in my life needed confessing and repented of.
We each poured our hearts out to a faithful Father, who is ever ready to forgive, restore, and empower us to walk the way of Christ. My confessions centered on the struggle with keeping my eyes on Him and trusting Him in the complications of life. I confessed a lack of love and a timidity that keeps me from sharing Christ. I also prayed against the things that stand in the way of my focusing on Him, of surrendering wholly to Him. Those idols and counterfeit gods that steal us away from being near to the Lord.
It was a tender time of prayer, talking to God and listening to these other precious women doing the same. We prayed beyond our own need for forgiveness but also for our neighbors and our nation. For the world. For those in our lives most vulnerable to Satan’s arrows in hard marriages and hospital beds.
We sang a song together as part of our gathering. This time I didn’t know the song, but it was perfect for our time together. It was Make Room by a group called The Church Will Sing. In a way it is audacious that we have to “make room” for the Creator of this world to do what He wants to do in our lives. Yet, He doesn’t push in. He is close but waits for us to open the door to our hearts for Him to come in and change everything! Hallelujah!
[Verse 1] Here is where I lay it down Every burden, every crown This is my surrender This is my surrender Here is where I lay it down Every lie and every doubt This is my surrender
[Chorus] And I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to And I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to, oh
[Verse 1] Here is where I lay it down Every burden, every crown This is my surrender This is my surrender Here is where I lay it down Every lie and every doubt This is my surrender
[Chorus] And I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to, Jesus And I will make room for You, for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to Oh, I will make room for You, Jesus To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to Oh, I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to, Jesus
[Spontaneous] Have Your way, have Your way, Jesus, oh We surrender all, we surrender all, Jesus Have Your way, Jesus, have Your way, Jesus
[Bridge] Shake up the ground of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better Oh, Your way is better Shake up the ground of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Jesus Oh, Your way is better Shake up the ground of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better, Jesus Your way is better Shake up the ground of all my tradition Break down the walls of all my religion Your way is better Oh, Your way is better
[Chorus] And I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to And I will make room for You To do whatever You want to To do whatever You want to, oh
[Verse 2] Here is where I lay it down You are all I’m chasing now This is my surrender This is my surrender Here is where I lay it down You are all I’m chasing now This is my surrender This is my surrender*
Finally he came to his senses and said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have plenty of food? But here I am, starving to death!‘ — Luke 15:17
And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet.And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate. – Luke 15:20-24
After this I looked and saw a multitude too large to count, from every nation and tribe and people and tongue, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” – Revelation 7:9-10
Coming home. Whatever our situation might be, hopefully that phrase has a comforting ring. In my youth and early adulthood, “coming home” felt very much like the prodigal son’s experience in the Scripture above. My parents were always welcoming and delighted in my arrival. I knew unconditional love from them which helped me understand how much the Lord loves us. Some of us don’t have that experience with our earthly parents. So painful and wrong. Generations of families where performance was demanded to receive love. Not at all what we experience in God’s Kingdom.
As we near the holidays in America, our sense of home is stirred up – in positive and sometimes negative ways. I’ve written about the sweetness of Thanksgivings past. They weren’t perfect given our own imperfections, but they gave a glimpse of the One Day when our homecoming will be something altogether other-worldly.
The first time I heard Bethel Music‘s song “Homecoming” was this past Sunday during worship at Movement Church. Unlike the video below with a huge worship band and a packed house, we were led by a 5-member praise team who still brought the house down in my heart. Not in any kind of performative sense, but in the lyrics and beauty of melody and harmony – telling the story of our welcome Home to Heaven.
None of us deserve such a homecoming. Sin has darkened our way Home. Yet, because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, He has given us the way, and we are confident in Him. Just like with the prodigal, we know our way Home, and we are headed there – a little closer each day.
What an amazing thought – to be rejoined with our dearest family who have gone before us. To be greeted by the saints of old. To look, finally, into the very eyes of Jesus – the One who gave His all so that we might become sons and daughters of the Father. Whew! Hallelujah!
We live in the present with our eyes on the future, and yet, we also plant ourselves in this season of homecoming – to show the Father’s love in both easy and complicated situations. To experience His “welcome Home” in those quiet moments of reveling in Him alone. When boundaries are required to get through the holidays, take hope that the day will come when they will no longer be necessary.
Lord, I confess That I’ve been a criminal I’ve stolen Your breath And sang my own song And Lord, I confess That I’m far from innocent These shackles I wear Oh, I bought on my own
These scarlet sins had a crimson cost You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross An empty slate, at the empty grave Thank God that stone was rolled away
Lord, I confess I’ve been a prodigal Made for Your house But I walked my own roads Then Jesus came He tore down my prison walls Death came to life When He called me by name
Scarlet sins had a crimson cost You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross An empty slate, at the empty grave Thank God that stone was rolled Scarlet sins had a crimson cost You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross An empty slate, at the empty grave Thank God that stone was rolled away
And I can see it now Smiling in Heaven, You and I, You and I
And I see bright, crimson robes draped over the ashes A wide, open tomb where there should be a casket The children are singing, and dancing, and laughing The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming Roses in bloom pushed up from the embers Our rivers of tears flow from good times remembered Families are singing, and dancing, and laughing The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming Heaven joins in with a glorious sound And the great cloud of witnesses all gather ’round ‘Cause the ones that were lost are finally found The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming
Scarlet sins had a crimson cost You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross An empty slate, at the empty grave Thank God that stone was rolled
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming
Can you see it now? Standing on the shores of Heaven You and I, and our families Singing, and dancing, and laughing There’s truly no place like home Yeah Jesus, You’re so beautiful Haha, see Him face to face Can we sing that bridge together one last time? “I see bright, crimson robes”
I see bright, crimson robes draped over the ashes A wide, open tomb where there should be a casket The children are singing, and dancing, and laughing The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming Roses in bloom, they pushed up from the embers Our rivers of tears flow from good times remembered Families are singing, and dancing, and laughing (Let’s go) The Father is welcoming (Come on) This is our homecoming And Heaven joins in with a glorious sound And the great cloud of witnesses all gather ’round ‘Cause the ones that were lost are finally found The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming
Scarlet sins had a crimson cost You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross An empty slate, at the empty grave Thank God that stone was rolled
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh The Father is welcoming This is our homecoming*
[Turns out I’ve written about contempt several times – if you can set aside some time – you can reference these as well.]
I have a dear friend who differs with me on much of our country’s current politics and policies. However, we continue to be close. Some intentionality in both of us must be at work. No matter who won the elections last week or who’s responsible for the latest government shut-down, whatever our thoughts are on these subjects, our friendship stands. Though our solutions to the ailments of our nation may not align, our hearts resonate with each other. Neither of us holds the other in contempt over these external issues. In fact, conversations with her always increase my understanding of these stressful situations and lead to great compassion for those in the midst of those situations.
This is not always the case in family and friendships.
Some of the postings on my social media in recent days have been riddled with anger “at the other side”, whatever that entails. These are friends in real life. Decent, caring people. However, there seems to be an imperative these days to point out the bad behaviors of others, those considered political enemies. Not just behavior but character. One side devaluing the other. Anger, maybe even righteous anger in the beginning, too often progresses to disgust, or worse contempt.
Anger is a negative emotion that confronts an action/behavior of another (peer or peer group). Contempt takes anger to a lower, darker place. Contempt demonstrates superiority as it simultaneously dismisses and devalues the other person or group, seeing her/them as inferior. It dehumanizes.
“Anger and contempt are the twin scourges of the earth, these bitter emotions form the poisonous brew in which human existence stands suspended. Few people ever get free of them in this life, and for most of us even old age does not bring relief. To cut off the root of anger is to wither the tree of human evil.” – Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy p. 151
It’s slow going, but I am learning not to allow contempt to gain space in my mind and heart. Like other negative emotions, contempt doesn’t only poison relationships but it poisons the mind of the one who entertains contempt.
“Willard argued that in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus was not just pulling marbles from a bag, presenting individual gems of wisdom that could be considered independently. Instead, the order of the presentation mattered greatly. “It is the elimination of anger and contempt,” he asserted, “that [Jesus] presents as the first and fundamental step toward the rightness of the kingdom heart.”
Conversely, today it is the systematic elevation of anger and contempt that is often rewarded across the political spectrum.”
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
Cliff talked about how God’s law has affected morality across the world – most of us get through life without murdering anyone. However, Jesus revealed how, if unchecked, our thoughts and words (be they face-to-face or written in social media) can have murderous impact.
We may think we’re doing the world a good service by pointing out the wrong thinking and actions of others. However, if we lack care for them, if we lack compassion or love, our words draw deep lines dividing us. Tall, thick impenetrable walls between us. And, God forbid, we don’t even care? I’m asking.
Jesus pointed to anger and contempt as deterrents to worship. If we care about being right with God, then we have to confront our part in being wrong with people. We may feel offended and then justified in our reaction to another person/group’s behavior, but acting in anger or contempt hurts everyone involved. Everyone.
One day, maybe our culture will shift to being more kind and long-suffering with each other. Being curious, seeking to understand, leaning in rather than being repelled. Until that day, or if that day never comes, what kind of person do I want to be? What do I want to practice in front of my family…my friends, my neighbors…even my enemies?
A Psalm Of David 1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet (still) waters, 3 he refreshes my soul, He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. – Psalm 23
My husband rarely travels for work these days, but this week he’s been away. He’s back today, but when he is away, the house is unusually quiet. Especially at night. Now for some of you, this is a common experience. Being just you at home in the dark of night. For me, for now, it is still a wrestling.
As I turn off the lights and lock everything up, settling into bed and the quiet, this old house seems to wake up. With all kinds of little creaking noises. What they do is stir up in my mind all the thoughts.
Life is like that. Get quiet and then intrusive thoughts get loud.
For many months, I’ve had an early morning practice, on waking, of quoting the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23. It’s a habit that kick-starts my day-before grabbing my phone or drinking that cup of coffee. This week, I’ve been going to bed also with Psalm 23 on my heart.
Then one day in the car, I heard singer, songwriter Leanna Crawford‘s version, and it has been on repeat this week. “Still Waters” is such a beautiful anthem to the kindness and gentleness of our Shepherd God.
A noisy old house at night is nothing compared to the noisy, fear-mongering world we find ourselves. Worse is the battle in our over-thinking minds. Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder of what is true – that God is our Shepherd, and even in “the shadow of death” or “the presence of enemies”, He is with us, arming us with the reality of who we are as HIS.
The bridge of this song captures the essence of His kind presence in whatever situation we find ourselves:
Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe.
Great Aunt Maurine said at a hundred and three Write scripture on your heart for when you need it Cause anxiety hates Psalm 23 So just say it to yourself ’til you believe it And I’m feeling like I’m needing it right now
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe
Lord I believe You can set me at ease Turn this broken piece in me to peace and quiet I know there’s power in Your word So I’ll say it over and over til my soul’s reminded
Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My Father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe
Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe
Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My Father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe*
We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-10
My Mom was a young 72 when she was diagnosed with cancer. We were overseas at the time, and I wanted so to be home with her. She was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma – at the time, supposedly “the best kind of cancer you can have”. Highly treatable. Long remissions. Often cured. Mom would die after 3 years of intensive, and sometimes experimental, chemotherapy. She never caught a break. Yet, she didn’t look at it that way.
Her journey with God in those days was other-worldly. The Mom I knew loved to serve people, and cancer would not stop that. She had grown up poor and with a dad who could be mean when he drank. She dreamed of college but it was never meant to be. Instead she became a student of life, and she never tired of that. She was a beautiful blend of Mary and Martha – wholly satisfied whether “sitting at the feet of Jesus” or serving the needs of those around her. I love that she was my Mom.
She taught me how to live…and she taught me how to die. We were home in the States when Mom’s cancer finished its course in her. She stubbornly guarded her time at home and had the will and the support (of my Dad, family and friends) to endure from home…and there was God, holding her tight against the storm.
Mom never prayed for healing, but we did. Mom prayed that this cancer, the illness and all that was part of it (including a devastating Shingles-related neuralgia), would bring glory to God. Her prayer was answered, and ours, ultimately, in Heaven.
Her dying took three days. If you had known my Mom, you knew a person that was all about life – helping and encouraging others, pointing them to God, determined, in faith, to make sense of what seemed utter nonsense. She continued to be about that until she went into a coma the last day. While she was awake that final weekend, I asked her (over and again) how she was. One time, I remember, she nodded a bit, and whispered, “I’m O.K.” It was her face that spoke volumes. Forehead lifted, blue eyes bright, an almost sunny expression. That “I’m O.K.” was accompanied by an almost delighted look of marvel…of wonder. Like, “Wow! I really am O.K.!” God was meeting her at the point of her greatest need.
Mom and I have always had amazing talks about the deep things of God and life. She told me one time that she envied us our certainty of His call to a life overseas. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard God speak so clearly to me,” she lamented. In the last days of her life, it came to me to ask her if she heard God speak to her lately. She answered right away, with that same look of wonder, “All the time!” If cancer had to be the instrument of such grace, then it became a gift to her.
Mom entered Eternity during the reading of 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 (see above). Her young pastor and his wife came unexpectedly that evening, rushing in, wide-eyed, as if on a mission. We brought them back to her room, and they sat with us, around her bed. She had been unresponsive all day. Her pastor opened his Bible and began reading. Mom had this sweet habit of knitting her forehead and shaking her head, in response to something that touched her heart. As he read, after being quiet and still all day, she knit her forehead and breathed her last. We all felt transfigured in that moment.
Tomorrow marks 23 years since Mom went to be with the Lord, and I miss her today and every day. She was so spent when she left us, yet gloriously whole at the same time. A bit of prose from Henry Van Dyke always comes to mind in thinking of her Homegoing.
I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”
Gone where?
Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me — not in her.
And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”
Mom taught us how to live…and she taught us how to die. She “fought the good fight…finished the race…and kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7). For us, there is still a race to be run.
Thanks, Mom, for showing us how it’s done. See you at the Finish Line.
When it’s all been said and done There is just one thing that matters: Did I do my best to live for truth, did I live my life for You? When it’s all been said and done All my treasures will mean nothing Only what I’ve done for love’s reward Will stand the test of time.
Lord, Your mercy is so great That You look beyond our weakness And find purest gold in miry clay Making sinners into saints
I will always sing Your praise Here on earth and ever after For You’ve shown me Heaven’s my true home When it’s all been said and done You’re my life when life is gone.
Earlier today a miracle happened. The last Israeli hostages were released from Gaza. Twenty of them. Released! Israel also released almost 2000 Palestinian prisoners. Released! Hopefully the cease-fire on both sides will continue, and the Middle East can settle into a much-needed peace.
The Ten Boom’s were a devoutly Christian family in Holland, and much of the story takes place around the events of World War II. Nazi Germany was making its move to gain power across Europe and was particularly targeting Jews, their own and other nationalities, and Jewish sympathizers. The Ten Boom’s began hiding Jews and developed an effective but dangerous underground to secret them away to safer places. The family’s activities were eventually found out and they were imprisoned. Corrie’s brother Willem and sister Nollie only briefly, but Corrie’s father and sister Betsie were held. Their father would die after a brief time of incarceration. Betsie was Corrie’s older sister. They never married and poured their lives into caring for others.
The notorious German concentration camp, Ravensbrück, would be their “home” for too long. Over 130,000 women would be held there, and over 60,000 died (some in the gas chambers). The conditions were horrific. Corrie and Betsie, by God’s grace, managed to hold onto a Bible during their prison time. When they weren’t laboring long hours, they prayed and encouraged the other women in their barracks. Betsie had enormous faith and a tender heart, even toward their tormentors. She prayed for both prisoners and guards. Corrie struggled more in her faith, angry with their treatment, especially because Betsie was physically weak from a long-term illness. Corrie would learn greater forgiveness and love during their unfathomable time together in the camp.
Finally, Betsie would die in captivity. Corrie would continue on, taking more responsibility in caring for the women around her. Early on in their time at Ravensbrück, Betsie reminded Corrie that God called them to be thankful in all circumstances, not just in lovely ones. Corrie couldn’t thank God for the fleas which infested their quarters. Later, Betsie observed that the guards rarely entered their barracks BECAUSE of the fleas, so they were free to have times of prayer and study. This was not wasted on Corrie as she began to see God at work in all their circumstances…and she gave thanks.
I’m going to leave the rest of the story for you to discover in reading about her life…or watching the movie (movies – others have been made since the first one).
Obviously, Corrie survived her captivity and was released toward the end of 1944 (12 days after Betsie died). Her life continued for almost 40 years, and she was able to see the fruit of Betsie’s visions for the future. It is an incredible story – loss turned to glory.
In rejoicing over the long-awaited release of the Israeli hostages and concurrent release of Palestinian prisoners (also celebrated by their families), we are struck by the enormous experience of being “released”.
For Corrie, and for all of us, the release of bitterness as we forgive and God’s work in our hearts to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:43).
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” – Luke 2:14
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from that time and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts will accomplish this. – Isaiah 9:6-7
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah. Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. – Psalm 4:4-5, 8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! – Psalm 32:8-11
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:17-19
[From the Archives: One week ago this morning, I woke to the results of the 2024 US presidential election. Before going to bed in the early hours of today, I prayed, wanting to trust the outcome to Him. Wanting to believe Him for whatever direction our country would go. Affirming that the Scripture validates that He is sovereign, and we are in His care.]
October is near, and in our home, it begins the season of Christmas music. So many beautiful anthems to the glory of God – the month of December is not enough to listen, sing, and meditate on the message of these words written by inspired authors and composers.
As this week has unfolded around our nation, social media and news outlets are filled with a range of both shock and jubilation. Of fear and relief. We continue a nation divided…for now. May the church not be a vessel of division…but an instrument of God’s peace.
In December, 1863, American poet and scholar Henry W. Longfellow received his wounded son home from battle. It was Christmas time, and the U.S. Civil War raged on. Having already lost his wife years earlier, Longfellow nursed his son, Charley, back to health. His own thoughts, in turmoil over all that was happening around him, he poured out in the poem “Christmas Bells”.
Longfellow clearly took comfort from God as he wrote, ending the poem with this stanza:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men.”*
I Heard the Bells is a Christmas carol, not a worship anthem. Yet, given the continuing wars of our day, and the politics surrounding them, we must tend the fires of our hope. God is the “lifter of our heads” (Psalm 3:3). He is the One who gives strength to our “weak hands and shaking knees” (Isaiah 35:3). He will do as He’s promised. He is faithful. When you hear the bells ring where you are in the wake of this past week, and as Christmas looms in weeks ahead, take heart in that. We must continue to pray for His peace on earth. We can be vessels of His good-will toward our neighbors, both near and far away.
Leaning into “the right [to] prevail” is where we stand, as Christ-followers. Straight and resolute in our understanding of God’s intentions and His movement in our world. We can resist and refuse to add to the noise of hopelessness and cynicism in this world. We bend our hearts to hear the voice of God speak through the chaos…speaking the peace that only He can bring…through our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. We can speak that peace to our neighbor – the truth wrapped in His love.
I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play And mild and sweet their songs repeat Of peace on earth good will to men
And the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) In my heart I hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
And in despair I bowed my head There is no peace on earth I said For hate is strong and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men
But the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir singing (Peace on Earth) Does anybody hear them? Peace on earth, good will to men
Then rang the bells more loud and deep God is not dead, nor doth He sleep (Peace on Earth, peace on Earth) The wrong shall fail, the right prevail With peace on earth, good will to men
Then ringing singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day A voice, a chime, a chant sublime Of peace on earth, good will to men
And the bells they’re ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) And with our hearts we’ll hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
Do you hear the bells they’re ringing? (Peace on Earth) The life the angels singing (Peace on Earth) Open up your heart and hear them (Peace on Earth) Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, Peace on earth Peace on earth, Good will to men*
[From the Archives – “Remember 9/11 – and the Day Before – a Story of God and a Girl”]
[As we in the US prepare to observe a sad and shocking day in our country’s history, those of us who knew Genessa observe the day she entered Glory 24 years ago. A bit of her story, especially as it relates to her love for Jesus, always comes to mind today. And other days. We have so much to look forward to – in this life and the Next.]
Today marks the eve of the 24th anniversary of the 9/11 bombings in the US. We all have our stories of where we were when we heard that terrible news. I heard the news as an elevator door opened in a hospital emergency room in Cairo, Egypt. The surgeon watching for us to deliver the patient, actually walked into the elevator. His face strained (me thinking it related to the patient with me). Then he said, “I am so, so sorry.” I thought he was referring to the precious one on the stretcher beside me, so small and injured from a terrible bus accident the day before. It turns out he was talking about the news that had traveled instantly from the States about the 9/11 bombings. I’d like to go back to the day before. For us, it would help to go there, before I can ever process the grief of this day that we all share.
It was like any other Monday, that bright, warm September 10th in Cairo, Egypt…until the phone call. Janna was on the other end of the call, telling me that Genessa and April, had been in a bus accident on the Sinai. April had called her and relayed their location, at a hospital in Sharm el-Sheikh. These were girls in our Middle Eastern Studies Program, and they were finishing their time with us, taking a vacation together. They would re-trace some of their experiences in Bedouin villages across the Sinai, visiting local friends once more, and then enjoy a few days on the Red Sea. They were to return that Monday of 9/10, traveling in on one of the over-night buses across the desert.
Details will have to wait for another time, but with this information, my husband, Dave, left immediately with Janna and a local Egyptian friend who was also one of our language coaches. He took these two women because of their relationship with each other and with all of us. He also understood that there were two injured friends hours away in a hospital who would need women to minister to their needs. I would be praying and on the phone the rest of the day with families, other friends, US Embassy people, and our other young people in the program. I can’t begin to describe the emotional nature of that day…not knowing, hoping, praying.
When Dave and our friends arrived at the hospital, he was directed to April. She had painful, serious injuries, but none life-threatening, praise God. Then he was escorted into the critical care area to see Genessa. To his horror, it wasn’t Genessa. It was another young woman, unconscious – an Italian tourist, who rode in the same ambulance with April. April, lucid and still able to communicate, had tried to comfort her on that long dark ride to the hospital. Personal belongings were all scrambled at the wreck site, and the authorities made the mistakened decision that because April was speaking to her, she was Genessa.
Then Dave went on the search for our dear one…somewhere else in the Sinai. He back-tracked toward the site of the accident, checking other hospitals where other injured were taken. At this point, he was also talking to US Embassy staff, as he drove through the desert. Just shortly before he arrived at the hospital where he would find Genessa, the staff person told him they confirmed her identification from a credit card she had in her pocket…in the morgue of that small village hospital.
Dave, our Egyptian friend, and Janna, that friend who received the first phone call, stood beside this precious girl’s body, to make the formal identification…to know for sure that this was Genessa. And it was…and yet not. She, the luminous, laughing, loving girl we knew, was gone. It was more than any of us who loved her could take in on that Monday evening in Cairo, Egypt…the day before 9/11.
As they left the hospital to return to April, two more friends joined them from Cairo to help. For any of you who have been completely spent in every way by such a day, you can understand what it was for them to look up and see other American friends, Matt and Richard, getting out of a car. God, in His great goodness, alerted them, stirred their hearts to drive all those hours…and then to arrive…just when they were most needed. So many arrangements had to be made…and most importantly, at that moment, to get April back safely and quickly to Cairo for surgery.
She came into Cairo on a plane near the middle of the day of 9/11. By the time we got her from the airport in an ambulance to the specialty hospital to get the further care she needed, a series of horrific events had begun taking place in the US. We would hear of them from this caring Egyptian surgeon…who had no idea how numb we were from losing Genessa and how concerned we were that April got what she needed as soon as possible. We were already so drenched by grief, this unfathomable news about the bombings washed over us without understanding the scope of it…the pain of it…for all the rest of America.
Later in that day, with April receiving the best care possible, and me watching by her side, I could take in some of the loss coming at us on the small t.v. mounted in the hospital room. Egyptians were telling us how so, so sorry they were for us (as Americans). If they only knew, they were our mourners for our loss of Genessa, too. In the din of world-changing news, and a country brought together in grief…we grieved, too, a continent away…for the losses of 9/11 and the day before.
That was 24 years ago…April healed from her injuries (only she and God know what all that took on the inside), the other young people in our program have gone on to careers and families across the US and around the world. We have also gone on…back to the US and to other work.
Two things have not changed…a beautiful girl, who fell asleep by the window of a bus in the Sinai night and woke up in Heaven… and the God who welcomed her Home. There is so much, much, more to this story, but I have to close with this. As her family back in the US were pulling the pieces of their lives back together, and going through Genessa’s things, they found a little cassette player on her bed…there left by her, two years before, as she left for Cairo. In it was a cassette where she’d made a tape of her singing one of her favorite songs, I Long for the Day, by singer/songwriter Dennis Jernigan. Toward the end of the song you can hear Genessa’s tears in her voice, singing to the Lord. We would sometimes have the opportunity of being in the room when Genessa led worship in those days. She couldn’t hold the tears back…tears of joy, longing, gratitude. So in a space just God and her.
If we look at Genessa’s life through the lens of some American dream, then we would think how tragic to die so young, so full of promise. Look through the lens of how much she loved God, and knowing Him was what mattered most to her…and all who knew her knew His love through her.
