Category Archives: Parenting

Monday Morning Moment – Teach Your Children Well…12 Essential Lessons of Life

Photo Credit: Pixabay

[Adapted from the Archives]

Parenting is a job…almost a vocation. Feeding, clothing, and protecting children are all crucial…but what do we teach them? What are the essential lessons of life?

Two old songs come to mind when I think of the serious nature of teaching our children what they must learn for life. The old folk/rock group Crosby, Stills, and Nash & Young wrote and performed Teach Your Children. Graham Nash wrote the lyrics out of his painful relationship with an absent, sometimes imprisoned, father. Nash’s message is that we have to teach our children to make a better life…if not better world.

You’ve Got to Be Carefully Taught is the other deeply emotional song out of the musical South Pacific. This song points to racial prejudice and cultural bias, and how hatred must be taught to children when they are young. Mandy Patinkin‘s version of this song communicates its meaning powerfully.

Although hatred or bias can be taught, even from an early age, such dreadful things can also be caught over time in culture. Things like entitlement, dishonesty, greed, and irresponsibility. We as parents (teachers and employers) have a huge role in guiding children and young people to mature into caring and responsible adults…even in a culture that may cut across the grain of our own values.

I’d like to explore what we must teach our children. Intentionally, with meaningful purpose. Catching those teachable moments and seasons. Some things are more “caught than taught”, as the saying goes. Kids will catch some values living in close proximity to us and others. That makes the case, as well, for how we choose to live and what companions we seek for ourselves and our children.

More Is Caught Than Taught – Gabbie Nolen-Fratantoni

When our children were young, we taught them a set of rules which we honored in our home. The 21 Rules of This House by Gregg and Joshua Harris. These rules were, in ways, simplistic but also comprehensive enough to help us create a safe, orderly, and loving home, where children AND parents had the same expectations. Photo Credit: Choosing HomeSchool Curriculum

Our children are grown now, out on their own. Two of them are already in the season of small ones and will establish their own essentials for teaching their children.

This is a reminder to them of their own family values…I hope it’s also a help to you. These are 12 lessons of life. They are not comprehensive, and you may not agree with all of them. I would love to hear what you think should have been there as well, in the Comments section below. Thanks.

1) Love God – You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.” – Jesus – Matthew 22:37-38 If you are reading this and don’t share a faith in one God, then this won’t have meaning for you. Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandments of the law (in that day, they were burdened by the weight of over 600 laws). His answer? Love God with everything in your being.  Parents can model and teach this kind of love from the time children are tiny.

2) Love others – You shall love your neighbor as yourself.– Jesus – Matthew 22:39  Jesus didn’t stop at the greatest commandment. He added this one as just second to the most important. Love others. Not just your buddies. Not just those like you…but whomever neighbor is…the nobody, the every man. Jesus was clear in his instruction in “as yourself”. However it is we would serve ourselves, we give of ourselves to those around us. Wow! Great wisdom to teach our children.

[Jesus even went further in his teaching on loving others. Before his crucifixion, he encouraged his disciples to love others even as He loved them – a love that lays down its own life for others (John 13:34).]

3) Be obedient (honoring) – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” – Ephesians 6:1-3 What a struggle it is for us to teach our children to obey! What a developmental milestone when they get it! Not after we count to 3, or 10…or whatever other enticement to obey comes to mind. Immediate obedience – in attitude and action.

Raising our children in huge cities made it crucial for them to obey the instant they heard us speak to them, especially over the noise of the city. One thing we did was a bird call (a whistle sounding “bob, bobwhite”. When they heard they looked up and started heading in our direction immediately. I still marvel when even today, that will still get their big grown-up attention.

More on obedience can be found here.

Photo Credit: Flickr

4) Be grateful. – Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18  God’s Word is filled with examples and encouragements toward being grateful (here are just a few). Jesus’ life was a testament of thankfulness to God the Father, and He taught us to pray with thanksgiving. Our kids grew up with The Thankful Song (from the Veggie Tales Madame Blueberry video) – “A grateful heart is a happy heart; that’s why we say thanks everyday.”

The Power of Gratitude – 21 Verses of Thanks to God – Debbie McDaniel

Avoid Raising an Entitled Child – 5 Strategies That Really Work – Amy McCready

5) Speak the truth. – Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. – Proverbs 12:22 The worst offense in our home was lying. Jesus spoke of Satan as being the father of lies (John 8:44). Telling the truth is something we model and something, I hope, our children value highly in their adult lives. No spin, no deception…straight-up truth. Truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

6) Work with diligence and excellence. – Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.Colossians 3:23   In grasping this lesson, children learn perseverance, patience, and an understanding of the value of work. Our youngest struggled with academics and he would say, about homework, “I just want to get it done!” As he matured, he moved his lament to more of a charge of “get it done and done well”. Watching him grow in that continues to make us so proud of him.

12 Ways to Glorify God at Work – Jose Etter

7) Seek joy. – Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, persistent in prayer. – (Romans 12:12) Grumbling, discontent, and whining are such a part of human nature. When we count our situation joy, whatever it is, everyone wins. Other verses here.

8) Seek peace. – “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” – Jesus (Matthew 5:9) Sometimes we crave peace, and we’ll do anything to get it. Our children don’t need to learn how to be peace-keepers but to be peace-makers. It’s not about giving way to the one causing trouble, for instance. It’s developing relational skills to bring peace to a situation, resolving the conflict. More verses here on peace.

9) Be forgiving. – Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.Colossians 3:13 Holding grudges and distancing ourselves from others in un-forgiveness is no way to live. Forgiving because we are forgiven carries with it a deep loving perspective. Helping our children understand how to forgive, especially little ones who have been gravely hurt by others, is huge. More on forgiveness.

10) See beauty; create beauty. – He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, He has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 My children tease me sometimes because they say I think everyone out there is handsome/pretty. God has given me eyes to see, maybe as He sees. He creates beauty and He means for us to see and appreciate it…and create beautiful things ourselves.Photo Credit: Public Domain Pictures

Our children are all musicians (one professionally) or writers . They create beauty as we all can…in some way or another.

Nathan Mills -Beyond The Guitar

Top 10 Bible Verses about Art with Commentary

Saying Beautifully as a Way of Seeing Beauty – John Piper

11) Be kind. – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. – (Ephesians 4:32) Again, years ago, when our kids were very young, they participated in a Vacation Bible School and learned a little song on kindness. “K-I-N-D, Love Is Kind”. I couldn’t find it anywhere for today’s blog, but the message stuck in all our heads. One of the simplest ways to show love is to be kind – to be generous and caring in our consideration of others. The Scripture points often to kindness in loving each other.

Be Kind to One Another – John Piper

12) Serve others. – Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.Hebrews 13:16 This lesson of serving others is one I actually struggled to teach well. I fell into the excuse (like many in America do) that they had so much homework, so many assignments to complete, that they should just have fun when they had the time. Serving could have totally been a “fun” way of life. I hope our children do better with teaching serving than I did. More on serving here.Photo Credit: Niagara

In closing, I’ve left off many things. Critical thinking is one. Modesty and physical purity are others. In fact, do you remember that little song, “Be Careful Little Eyes What You See.”? Our kids learned that in English and Arabic.

Still probably the greatest lesson across the years of childhood (which goes along with the two greatest commandments Jesus taught) is the one Bob Pierce, founder of World Vision, taught us.

Let (your) heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God.

We want to teach our children to do right, for for the sake of others and for themselves, and to stand up for what is right.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.Proverbs 22:6

Let Your Heart Be Broken – Jeremiah 8, 9 – Rick Ezell

Bible Verses on Injustice

5 Friday Faves – Maxwell House, Christmas Traditions, For King & Country, Parenting Well, and New Year’s Resolutions

Quiet week…but the faves keep coming. Here are five:

1) Maxwell House –  Maxwell House is known for its coffee…“good to the last drop”.  It’s been around a long time (over 100 years). I have friends who have never wavered from their loyalty to Maxwell House, despite all the trend-setting coffees of late. This Labor Day, Maxwell House popped up on my Twitter feed with a #LaboronLaborDay contest. All we had to do was follow the company on Twitter, take a picture of ourselves working on Labor Day, and post it with a comment. The grand prize winner (1000 total) would receive the equivalent of a paid day off in gratitude from Maxwell House. I was one of the 1000. A pre-paid Visa card of $150 came in the mail yesterday. If you follow this company on Twitter or Instagram you will see a core value of care for hard workers and for those neighbors in dire straits. I was surprised to receive the card but even more surprised at a company that clearly majors on honoring others…an uncommon courtesy in these times.

2) Christmas Traditions – Part of the joy of Christmas is those traditions we look forward to, year after year. They change as family grows and when life and work take us far from each other. Still, Christmas traditions are deep in our hearts. Rather than grieve when we don’t get to continue them, we tweak them and flex when need be. The joy still comes if we don’t hold too tightly to the what once was. What are some of your Christmas traditions? For us, family get-togethers, meet-ups with friends, Christmas Eve candlelight service, carol singing, frosted cookies and favorite finger foods, Christmas light drive-arounds, movies and TV specials (A Charlie Brown Christmas)…and what else? Quiet times…reading and reflecting on the astonishing account of God coming so close to us through the birth of Jesus.

Photo Credit: Biography

3) For King & Country – I LOVE this band. Musically mesmerizing. Their concerts are personal and electrifying. Their Christmas Tour 2018 is done and they will start an intense touring schedule in 2019 (including a world tour). If you’ve never seen them play, make it happen. Here’s an hour of For King & Country from their Christmas Tour:

4) Parenting Well – In this information age, there is just so much advice on how to parent. So much. I’ve given my share as well… because we love those little people AND their parents. We learn from each other. We can also learn from  the very public lives of British royalty even – Prince William and Kate Middleton. Here’s a bit of wisdom that comes from their parenting values. It should encourage and reinforce what you parents of littles are already doing…without an audience.

5) New Year’s Resolutions –What do we have? 3 more days in 2018 of reckless eating, not enough sleep, routines all turned topsy-turvy. Then…resolved. Right? Actually New Year’s resolutions are an excellent device to help us get off to a strong start into the next year, or month or week. Some of my family and friends treat resolutions with disdain…they never work; they never last. Blog - New Year's Resolutions - davidlose.net - Calvin & HobbsPhoto Credit: DavidLose.net

For me, some do. One, in particular, from this year has sustained me through the whole of 2018. I had resolved that God’s voice would be the first I would tune to each morning. Through prayer; through meditation on His Word. Through listening. Cell phone and computer left off…for that bit of early morning. It’s been a very good thing. How about you? Any resolutions you have simmering in your thoughts? Give them a try…you never know when one will stick.[My resolutions for 2018 – revisiting them for 2019.]

Understanding True Habit Change and Rocking Your New Year’s Resolutions – Deb Mills Writer

New Year’s Day – Resolved – Deb Mills Writer

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So thankful for this life and the people in it…Happy New Year, Dear Ones.

Bonus:

Vintage Christmas – Matters of the Heart – Part 1 – Capacity

This past weekend, I was privileged to speak at a women’s holiday event in Kingsport, Tennessee. 150 women gathered to bring in a vintage Christmas together. Photo Credit: ISBC Women’s Ministry, Facebook

The food was delicious, the company was old friend-comfortable, and the memories wrapped around us like a Tennessee quilt.

The Festival of Tables was amazing – designed by the women hostessing. Just a few of the table toppers shown below:

[Today’s blog and the next two – Part 2 and Part 3] are taken from the talk I gave that evening on “Vintage Christmas – Matters of the Heart”. The following are excerpts of the talk because some who couldn’t come wanted me to post. Though written for Christian women, there is much to apply to any of our lives.]

“Vintage” can mean something very different to each one of us, depending on our ages and life experiences.

Vintage…one day our grandchildren and great-grands will look way back to our Christmases and call them vintage. They will look back on us as the women of old in their lives – the grandmothers (and great-grandmothers) of their faith.

What do we see when we look back? What will they see when they look back?

When I look back to my growing up years, it’s my Mom and women like her who come to mind. Godly women – tirelessly serving their families, church and community and pointing us to Jesus.

In thinking about Vintage Christmases and matters of the heart, God has placed three character traits on my mind. Three qualities we probably saw in our Godly grandmothers and great-aunts.

Strong and steely traits that we can develop across a lifetime walking with God. These traits are all matters of the heart. We see them in the life and character of Jesus. As we wrestle with them in each season of our lives, we can hope to carry them forward to future generations.

The first is capacity defined as the maximum that something can contain or produce.

In every season of our lives, we have those moments or days of coming to the end of ourselves. We feel like we just can’t do one more thing. We are DONE. When I talk about capacity, it’s not about adding more stuff to lives that are over-packed or over-scheduled lives. God doesn’t call us to be Energizer Bunnies…until we burn out, or dry up, or give in to the busy.

Photo Credit: Flickr

Capacity isn’t just about getting a lot done. Nor is it, on the flip side, about shaking up those of us in seasons of life that have been downsized –  intentionally or unintentionally. Unless God is speaking into that…which He sure did with me.

Building capacity means to look to God to order our days and to watch for Him to show up in our schedules and “chance” encounters.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve come through both a cancer diagnosis and a couple of cardiac emergencies that could have taken my life. Having half a lung removed diminished my physical capacity for awhile. Then moving into retirement diminished my other capacities even further. I felt old. In our previous work circles and in our church, whatever purpose or identity I had before seemed to fade with time and age. It wasn’t pretty.

Maybe you have experienced this sort of thing, whatever your age is. A situation where you have passion or desire to be a part of something but the doors seem to all be closed. When it seemed there was no way forward, I just settled into a slowed-down, lesser life.

In the middle of all this, the Lord in His great kindness, pretty much asked me, out right, “Is that it? You’re done?” I sure didn’t want to be done. With age and what seemed to be dwindling opportunity, life had become small for me.

Or did I do it to myself? Was I looking to people for opportunities to serve…or to God?

Now those of you with heavy academic loads, small children or big responsibilities in your work may not even be able to imagine this…but think with me a minute. Is our capacity such that God could show up and do as He wills in us…or are we pretty much maxed-out or turned-in?

Does God have our hearts? Or is our capacity dulled because He is more a tenant in our hearts rather than the Lord?

Is there space in our hearts He would fill if we didn’t already have them packed with other stuff?

Now, we all have responsibilities in life. For some, papers have to be written, babies must be fed, and payrolls managed…fill in the blank in your thoughts of where you have to show up every day…

What happens when we show up with our eyes on Jesus and the possibility of what He might do in and through us?

That realization from the Lord that “if I wasn’t done, then what?” started a spiritual journey for me… Last December, as part of a New Year’s resolution, and in response to our pastor’s challenge, I determined to make God’s voice the first voice of my every day. I’m a morning person, so quiet times before dawn may come easier for me than for some. Still for God’s to be the first voice does require me NOT to pick up the cell phone, or sit down at my computer, or turn on the TV news. In my season of life, there are no children to feed or to get schooled, so you with children have different challenges of making God’s voice first.

Whatever our challenges, it doesn’t change our great need of hearing Him speak truth and love into our hearts. Early. Every day.

When God did get first voice, He began helping me to clear out the clutter in my heart which changed the contents of my conversations and my calendar…Bit by bit, God added space to my life. Space to hear Him speak and to “interrupt” the rhythms of my day.

The discovery that I seemingly had more time wasn’t magic…it was God.

The visual below is so perfect of Christ flooding our heart with His love and all the good things God has for us, and in turn our hearts are cleansed, cleared of all the junk that distances us from Him, and then the contents of our hearts pour into others. Jesus talked to the religious leaders of his day about this very thing: “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”Photo Credit: HolyTrinityPTC

Another way to look at this is related to what we hold in our lives as treasure. Jesus taught us that “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Photo Credit: Heather C. King

You can guide your heart with your treasure. Wherever you put your treasure or whomever you make your treasure, your heart will follow. Your treasure leads your heart.

This was so helpful for me because I had stored up quite a bit of self-absorbed treasure in recent years – my own significance being one part of that. Even wanting to be useful to God somehow had become an idol. That sort of thing just happens when we take our eyes off Him and onto ourselves. Right?

Days turned to weeks of God being the first voice each day in my life. I started doing life more in present tense with Him, listening for His voice through the day. Like a real conversation. Sometimes it would be a prayer; sometimes a complaint; just being in His presence. The barriers keeping life small seemed to start coming down. Such that, even when life was small, I was becoming more content. We keep our eyes on God, and He guides…sounds too simple, I know…but it has given the most mundane day or situation a sense of the divine.

The prophet Isaiah captures this so well when he says, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it”. [Isaiah 30:21] Of course, we may not hear God speak audibly, but He will lead us just that clearly as we tune our hearts to His voice. We’ve all experienced that. To walk daily like this builds capacity…

Photo Credit: Francis of Assisi, Brainy Quote

We start by doing what’s necessary…this is sometimes where we stop…short.  If…we keep our hearts on the Lord, the necessary can open up to being a part of something only possible with God in it…and then…the impossible.

 If we are faithful to make a capacity for Jesus…He will fill that capacity with Himself.  “Make of yourself a capacity and I will make myself a torrent!” – Catherine of Siena

Photo Credit: Heartlight, Quotemeal

[Part 2 on Caring and Part 3 on Constancy]

5 Friday Faves – First Responders, Fall TV, Getting Older, a Narcissist Culture, and Visual Aids

As I write it’s raining… This Friday – lots of country music and YouTube videos…and a grateful heart. Oh…and just as I was about to publish, Nathan Mills‘ arrangement of John Paesano‘s Spiderman theme (for the PS4 game of the same name) just got posted. Enjoy.

1) First Responders – This has been quite a week – between the observance of the 17th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks and the Hurricane Florence pounding away in the Carolinas right now.

We have listened to news reports, documentaries, and one another talk about these two occurrences all week. All I want to say is:

“Thank you, all you who go in as others are running out. All of you, first responders, who seek to protect and care for us. Thank you. May God keep you safe.”

Photo Credit: Health.mil

2) Fall TV Shows – Nope, not talking NFL football here. Nor is this heralding the many Fall-themed Hallmark movies on the horizon. This fave marks the building excitement for premier weeks for our favorite TV shows. You tell me your favorites, I’ll tell you mine. Fall is maybe my favorite seasons…this being one reason among many.

One TV show not coming back yet is Stranger Things. This might help:

3) Getting Older – Country artist (and Songwriters Hall of Famer Alan Jackson turns 60 this month. That’s still real young, but his song The Older I Get rings true to the experience of…getting older. The lyrics of this poignant country song ring true…they can speak for themselves.

The older I get
The more I think
You only get a minute, better live while you’re in it
‘Cause it’s gone in a blink
And the older I get
The truer it is
It’s the people you love, not the money and stuff
That makes you rich

And if they found a fountain of youth
I wouldn’t drink a drop and that’s the truth
Funny how it feels I’m just getting to my best years yet

The older I get
The fewer friends I have
But you don’t need a lot when the ones that you got
Have always got your back
And the older I get
The better I am
At knowing when to give
And when to just not give a damn

And if they found a fountain of youth
I wouldn’t drink a drop and that’s the truth
Funny how it feels I’m just getting to my best years yet
The older I get

And I don’t mind all the lines
From all the times I’ve laughed and cried
Souvenirs and little signs of the life I’ve lived

The older I get
The longer I pray
I don’t know why, I guess that I
Got more to say
And the older I get
The more thankful I feel
For the life I’ve had, and all the life I’m living still*

*Lyrics to The Older I Get –Songwriters: Adam Wright, Hailey Whitters and Sarah Allison Turner

[Along with getting older with its sweet upside of grandchildren and finding clarity and contentment…there is the sadder side of losing people we love. That happened for Alan Jackson this week with the unexpected death of his oldest daughter Mattie’s husband, Ben Selecman…married less than a year. Prayers for this family.]

Age of Maturity – Consider This Radio Show – Annette Petrick

4) A Narcissist Culture – What happened to a once civil society? Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg spoke this week on the divisive and partisan Senate confirmation hearings of recent years. She reflected on her own hearing and that of her good friend and conservative Justice Scalia. Both of them confirmed to the Supreme Court by an almost unanimous Senate vote.

Some would say what has changed is the caliber of leaders in office now. Narcissist is a word used frequently in mainstream media.

I wrote earlier this week on narcissistic bosses and how to thrive under such leadership. We may not have chosen our boss, whether he or she is over a company or country, but we can determine to do what we can to help…not harm.

Do you get weary of the contentious nature of our press? How about the behavior of our elected officials, on both sides? Maybe a lifetime in the political arena (whether in public or private sector positions) brings the cynic out of everyone. Maybe the goal of doing whatever possible good we can breaks down if our boss is just too difficult or just too not like us.

The more I read on narcissistic bosses, the more I find that many who rise to the top have some of those traits. It’s what helped them get there. We can raise our backs to that and make as much noise as we can to get rid of that person or disrupt every process or decision.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Or we can seek out what is wisdom in handling a narcissistic boss… for our own sakes, the sake of the company (or country), and even for his. It is one thing to feel helpless and a whole other thing to escalate a situation and add to the damage, whatever it is.

Author and blogger Eric Barker has written a Wall Street Journal best-seller entitled Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong. I haven’t read the book yet but his article is intriguing.

In this article 5 Scientific Secrets to Handling a Narcissist, he gives some excellent counsel on what to do. Some of his advice may be hard to stomach…but stirring up a narcissist with negative, blaming banter will not get anyone where they say they hope to go.

Here are Barker’s 5 bits of excellent advice:

  1. If at all possible, just steer clear of him. – Do your job. Do it well.
  2. If he’s your boss, kiss up or shut up. – A narcissist doesn’t want to hear your take on things, especially if it is against his take. Until you decide to leave your organization, do your best to just get along. He is much better at deflecting and retaliating than you probably are at exposing his faults or unfitness for the job.
  3.  Know what you want and get payment up front. This relates to folks who have something (information, relationships, influence) the narcissist wants but doesn’t yet have. I can’t even think of an example…can you offer one?
    “Now I’ve been very negative toward narcissists (understandably) but they can be worked with and can even be good employees. Yes, really.Why? Because they want something. They really need to look good. And if you can align your desires with their desires, you may find yourself with an unstoppable achievement machine…They get what they want when they do what you want.” – Eric Barker
  4. If you have a raging narcissist within hearing and one who lets you close, ask some of equivalent of: “What would people think?” Let them answer the questions. Emphasize community and use disappointment, rather than anger, to keep them in line. They want to look good. So help them look good by helping them do good.”
  5. Be Dexter. Dexter was the focal character of a TV show of the same name. He was a forensics technician working murder cases. He became a serial killer of serial killers. Whew! I never watched the show but know of its cultish popularity. The thing is, all of us  can become narcissistic. Especially in cultures where narcissists rise to power. If we can confront the narcissism in ourselves then we can fight it by nurturing empathy – refusing to give into the impulse to self-elevate and direct that impulse to empower others. Something to think about.

5 Scientific Secrets to Handling a Narcissist – Eric Barker

How to De-Escalate a Fight with a Narcissist – Elinor Greenberg, PhD

Dealing with a Narcissist? – Try These 5 Negotiation Tactics – Tanya Tarr

Barking Up the Wrong Tree Quotes – GoodReads

Hostage Negotiation: the Top FBI Hostage Negotiator Teaches You the 5 Secrets to Getting What You Want – Eric Barker

This Is How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids: 5 Secrets From Research – Eric Barker

5) Visual Aids – I am a visual learner. By that, information intake comes easier with images. I used to think because of being a voracious note taker that auditory learning was my preference. No, it was that innately, writing the notes was salvation for me because they gave me visual cues to master the auditory information taken in…later. Looking at my notes.

This week, I began a study of Genesis through Community Bible Study. The study opened with a YouTube visual that “storied” the beginning journey of the God and humankind. Genesis 1-11 in less than 8 minutes, being drawn as we watched. So good.

A big part of why children’s books are so attractive for a visual learner is the rich illustrations that accompany the story. One of my favorite artists is Marjolein Bastin. She paints the world around us with all its beauty, tiny detail, and true-to-life (im)perfections.

You might enjoy this short article and stunning video of hers where she describes “Why I Create”.

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That’s this week’s faves. How about you? please share some of yours with all of us through the Comments.

Be safe out there. Be kind to those you love and those you don’t yet… you never know what could change.

Bonuses:

Pull out that wedding dress – if it still fits, why not wear it from time to time?…for your pleasure and those who loved seeing you in it that one other time.Photo Credit: Brittney Kluse, Facebook

Meet the Nativity

Meet the Nativity and Find Your Family – Glen Scrivener

American Idol SweetheartsCaleb Lee Hutchison and Maddie Poppe fell in love while competing in the 16th season of the ABC music show American Idol. Maddie eventually went on to win with Caleb coming in second. Renditions of songs like Maddie’s Landslide and Caleb’s Don’t Close Your Eyes took them straight to the finals and into fans’ hearts. Here they are on the Live Tour singing together You’ve Got a Friend. So darling.

5 Friday Faves – Divine Appointments, the Dark Side of Children’s YouTube Videos, Senate Confirmation Hearings, a Fostering Film, and Things That Have Almost Always Been

Happy Friday! Quickly, here are my 5 favorite finds for the week.

1)  Divine appointments – There is something other-worldly by chance encounters, or visits with old friends, or even an oatmeal breakfast that seem larger than life. I’ve had all three this week and all struck a chord of the wonder and mystery of life…of how circumstances are orchestrated such that only God could be responsible. Why? Because of how deeply and lovingly they penetrate the heart.Visit with an old friend – no agenda; no pretense; just a heart rest.

A bowl of steel-cut oats made into a feast by another dear old friend.

Photo Credit: PXhere  [A chance meeting turned into an opportunity and maybe a friendship.]

On the chance encounter: Have you ever spotted someone in the grocery story and something about their appearance or demeanor drew your attention. The image above is a stock photo, but here’s the story. Today while lost in thought over what to buy for Dave’s birthday supper, I noticed this woman in the coolest dress and matching jacket. The fabric was olive green camo. She pulled it off stunningly. I wanted to say something but didn’t.

We ended up in the parking lot at the same time (totally “accidental”; no stalking going on here). I determined if we stowed our carts at the same time I would compliment her fashion sense. We did, and I did. Then a several minute conversation launched easily. She made the suit out of men’s cotton tshirts. Then we talked about our careers, our children, our hopes to make a difference in the world, our faith and our culture. She is an amazing woman…

We exchanged phone numbers and I hope coffee together will follow. I’m currently in a study on justice and longing for an avenue to bring a voice to the voiceless in this city. This woman is a part of that kind of work every single day.

A divine appointment.

2) The Dark Side of Children’s YouTube Videos – Leaving a child unsupervised with a smart phone or tablet is risky. I’m now more convinced than ever after discovering writer artist James Bridle. He wrote an essay entitled Something Is Wrong on the Internet. If you have children, or care about children, please read it. It is a bit freaky. The video below also tells how he sees how the internet, with apps such as YouTube, using bots and AI devices, is drawing children into content we would never want them to experience.

Who makes these videos? Can you even trace their creators?

“The more time you start to spend with them, the crazier and crazier you start to feel you may be….deep strangeness and deep lack of understanding…Who is making them? Some of them really and clearly by people who shouldn’t be around children at all. ” “There are real people trapped within these systems…even if you’re human, you have to end up behaving like a machine just to survive.” Kids drugged looking at these videos. A few auto-clicks away from videos opening surprise eggs will be videos with sexual or violent content still with cartoon characters or superheroes involved. Creepy wrong stuff!!! “Kids’ worst nightmares”.

“Inequality of power [and understanding] always leads to violence.”

“We need to stop thinking of technology as a solution to all of our problems, but think of it as a guide to what those problems actually are, so we can start thinking about them properly and start to address them.” – James Bridle

The Internet as Monster – Rob Dreher

3) Senate Confirmation Hearing – The greatest distraction of my week has been the Senate Confirmation Hearings. 4 days of high drama and brilliant oratory. All toward the determination of Judge Brett Kavanaugh‘s worthiness to replace Justice Kennedy on the US Supreme Court Justice. It was a rollicking, hold-on-to-your-seat experience for those present and for the rest of us watching remotely. The last day when witnesses (i.e. non-Senators) gave their testimony of Kavanaugh’s fitness for the Supreme Court was especially gripping.Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Don’t miss the 4th day of hearings when witnesses gave their testimony (5 in favor and 5 opposing) of Judge Kavanaugh’s character and judicial preparedness for taking a chair on the Supreme Court. YouTube video linked here (1 hr 39 min into the video begins the witness panel).

The last of those witnesses was Akhil Reed Amar, Law professor at Yale University, a registered Democrat, staunch liberal who voted for Hillary Clinton. He actually gave testimony in support of Judge Kavanaugh’s nomination to the Supreme Court. Here are his closing remarks:

“Responsible naysayers must become yaysayers of a sort; they must
specifically name better nominees realistically on the horizon.
If not Brett, who?
Distinguished Republicans: Kavanaugh is your team’s brightest judicial star. Rejoice!
Distinguished Democrats: Don’t be mad; be smart, and be careful what you wish for. Our party controls neither the White House nor the Senate. If you torpedo Kavanaugh, you’ll likely end up with someone worse —less brilliant, less constitutionally knowledgeable, less studious, less open-minded, less good for America.”
.

Senate Concludes Kavanaugh Hearing; Confirmation Likely – MPR News

Akhil Reed Amar Testimony Transcript

4) A Fostering Film – A funny and endearing and hopeful film on fostering children debuts this Fall. All I know about Instant Family is the trailer but it’s already on my calendar. Have a look:

5) Things That Have Almost Always Been – British novelist Matt Haig‘s book Notes on a Nervous Planet came to my attention via the following Twitter photo:Photo Credit: Notes on a Nervous PlanetMatt Haig, iAuthor on Twitter

Haig writes and speaks about anxiety and depression. He knows these experiences personally. I have only read quotes from his books but they are now on my “to-read” list.

The page above from his book Notes on a Nervous Planet was a beautiful study into the things that endure. I’m surprised that Haig describes himself as an atheist. Comforted by the things that have almost always been would seem to lend itself to the great comfort of knowing the God who has always been. No matter his thinking on this, his writing reminds us of the wonder of life including the reasons to stay alive (the title of his earlier book).

By the way, this would be an idea for a great night out with  a love or night in with a friend – to come up with our own list of the enduring stuff of life.

Notes on a Nervous PlanetMatt Haig

Goodreads Quotes from Notes on a Nervous Planet

Reasons to Stay Alive – Matt Haig

Goodreads Quotes from Reasons to Stay Alive

YouTube Video – Matt Haig’s Top 5 Tips on Good Mental Health in a Social Media Age

That’s it for me. How about you? Please comment below about your week’s favorites…or thoughts on mine. Blessings.

Bonuses:

Quote: “Leaders aren’t great because they have power; they are great because they empower others.” Lolly Daskal, TED Talk

Why You Can’t Name the Virtues – Karen Swallow Prior

A Neuroscience Researcher Reveals 4 Rituals that Will Make You Happier – Eric Barker

The State of Your Attention Determines the State of Your Life – Srinivas Rao

TEDed – How the Sugar Affects the Brain

5 Ways to Pray for Trafficked People

Photo Credit: Charles Spurgeon, Prince of Preachers, Facebook

5 Friday Faves – Tavern Music, Kindness, International Overdose Day, a Film and its Book, and Signs of Fall

Friday! A holiday weekend is upon us here in the US. Labor Day on Monday. Where we live that means this is the last weekend before public schools start their Fall session. On this hot, thunder-stormy weekend, the last sweetness of summer will be savored.

Here are my five faves of the week:

1) Tavern Music – My heritage is a mix of Scottish-English. I’m thinking, because of that, tavern music might be part of my family’s DNA. When Nathan Mills arranges and plays a tune reminiscent of Celtic music, he might come by the joy of it quite honestly.

Hearthstone is an online video card game set in a tavern. The theme music has very much a Celtic feel to it. Beyond the Guitar was actually asked by someone on the Hearthstone creative team to do an arrangement. Here it is for your enjoyment.

2) Kindness – Author Peter Economy has written a couple of pieces on kindness – one on kindness quotes and the other on the impact of kindness when expressed by our leaders.

“There is something incredibly appealing about leaders who place themselves on the same level as their employees without losing their authority as leaders. Tapping into kindness and small (and big) acts of showing your appreciation for your team allows those around you to know that you care–leaving them feeling like their work matters, and encouraging their engagement and loyalty.”Peter Economy

I find my tendency is to think I am kind but that kindness is not necessarily executed in a way others experience. It’s worth a few moments to consider how we think of kindness, what it means and how we could actively and intentionally express kindness at work or wherever else we find ourselves.

Photo Credit: Flickr

3) Overdose Awareness Day – Put August 31 on your calendar for next year. It is International Overdose Awareness Day.  We must bring this out of the closet. #NotOneMore

Photo Credit: Facebook

“Today is National Overdose Awareness Day! It still surprises me on how many people I talk to seem oblivious to this epidemic in our country and throughout the world. In 2017 the official number of deaths was over 72,000 people. (more in 2018) These 72,000 people were Mothers and Fathers, Daughters and Sons. Aunts and Uncles. Just think about how many peoples lives were affected by 72,000 deaths. Addiction is real……..Addiction kills……..Lets all get together and find ways to talk about this beast that kills more people than car accidents, guns, breast cancer, The Vietnam War. I pray that my Facebook friends never have to be touched in anyway by the Overdose of a loved one. Unfortunately, the math says …………..you more than likely will.”Jeanne Barney

4) A Film and Its Book – A strangely titled little book continues high on my top 5 books for recreational reading. It is:

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society – Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

Photo Credit: East Ridge News Online

This book gives the reader a glimpse into the lives of those who endured the 5 years of Nazi occupation of the English Channel islands during World War II. It is a story mixed with deep affection, dry humor, long grief and sweet romance. I highly recommend this book to anyone – men or women.

This year marked the debut of the film of the same name (aired on Netflix in the US). I’m so thankful Netflix picked it up otherwise we might have missed it altogether. Such a lovely film, true enough to the book, and a feast for the eyes. Several actors from our beloved Downton Abbey are part of the cast. You will love it…trust me.Photo Credit: Battle Royale With Cheese

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society – Trailer

5) Signs of Fall – This week has been hot and humid, but still there were signs of Fall all around us. Pumpkin spice has entered all of our coffee shop experiences again. Our young ones are back in school. The geese have taken wing for distant places again..

Photo Credit: Max PixelAnd Dave’s garden has the messy, overgrown beauty of late summer. Last blooms pushing out and flowers turned to seed for the birds to eat and scatter. Early brown leaves and surprise buds that couldn’t wait until Spring. Welcome Fall, my favorite season of the year.

What signs of Fall do you love…or not so much?

___________________________________________________________________________

Hope your weekend is filled with kindnesses.

Bonuses:

“To know the will of God, you need an open Bible and an open map.” – William Carey

Raising Our Kids Near Their Grandparents Is The Greatest Gift We Could Ever Give Them

Skim Reading Is the New Normal. The Effect on Society Is Profound – Maryanne Wolf [Along these lines, check out On Reading Well by Karen Swallow Prior]

Charlotte Non-profit Restaurant Hires Those Considered ‘Unemployable’ – Meilin Tompkins

Photo Credit: Quotes Gate, Facebook

Ethics in the Workplace: 5 Ways to Honor Christ from Cubicle to Boardroom – Leah Marianne Klett

Tulane Psychiatrist Wins National Award for Research that Shows How Trauma Seeps Across Generations – Keith Brannon

The video below is a biopic on a neighborhood near and dear to me heart in the Richmond metro area. For you, Lakesiders:

5 Friday Faves – Pursuing Truth, Giving Voice to the Voiceless, Connecting Skill, Biomedical Treatment for Autism, and an Antique Store Experience

Friday has come…and gone. Finishing up this Faves on an early Sunday morning. Summer has wound down. School starts here in a week. Family visits. New babies. Friends back in town. Lots going on. Still…wanted to close the week out with my faves…and you.

1) Pursuing Truth – Deception is a problem of the culture that can become very personal. When something is spoken through public media as if it’s true, or someone we know speaks with confidence and authority, we are tempted to believe it is true…without weighing its validity. This is not always the case…in fact, too often we must sift through motives and spin to get to the meat of the matter.

From the time our children were little, we have tried to teach them how to sort out what is true. In the culture today, celebrities opt out of critical thinking by saying such things as “your truth”.

There is truth. How can it be colored so many individual ways?

I’m very thankful for the opportunity for table talk even today with our adult children. Sitting over dinner discussing faith, politics, and society…along with music, film, babies, and the latest technology.

I’m also grateful for friends who can be worlds apart on some ideologies but are bound together by relationship. They teach me so much. In fact, I have sought out some friendships, in the beginning, for those very differences. These are people whose passion and determination in living their passions. They help me make sure I haven’t pigeon-holed a certain worldview without considering what is winsome about it.

Nothing has changed about my belief in a good God…that deepens as I get older.  He will answer for Himself one day, as He chooses. On what may have confused any of us, in our human frailty, about both His justice and mercy. I will also answer one day about my own grasp of that and how it influenced my dealings with others.

I do believe that God has given us a guide for life in the Scriptures. I don’t understand it all, but I would not be so bold as to throw out some parts while I cling to others. Absolutely sure He can protect His own story through the ages…from getting lost in translation.

Anyway, what do you think about pursuing truth? It doesn’t happen without intentionality. We are being blasted with “someone’s truth” most all the time. Growing weary of pursuing truth would not go well for us.

Pursuing the Truth Requires Modesty About OurselvesMona Charen

Monday Morning Moment – the Essence and Ethics of Spin in Our Work, Our Politics, and Our Community – Deb Mills

2) Giving Voice to the Voiceless – Two friends and I are doing a study together, along with many others online. It is  Arise: a Study on God’s Heart for Justice. Easy to do – very thought-provoking and convicting.Photo Credit: IF Gathering

It’s a six-week look at God’s heart for justice and came at just the right time for me. Some of us are deeply engaged with turning stories of injustice into hope and healing. I am not one of those but so want to be.Photo Credit: IF Gathering

3) Connecting Skill – Benjamin P. Hardy is a writer that I follow. He is an organizational psychologist and writes on motivation and productivity. This past week, his post had an intriguing title: The Most Important Skill for Interacting with People . Definitely worth a read, but I will also tell you what that skill is:

Compassion/Consideration

Photo Credit: Carl Richards, New York Times

“If you treat every person you meet like they are dealing with a serious challenge, you’ll be right more than half the time. If you entreat people with love, kindness, empathy, and discernment, they will appreciate you so much.

You could change someone’s life today. You could potentially save someone’s life today. You could also indirectly change countless other lives through the ripple effects of making just one person feel heard and seen.

Send the text to a friend.

Make that call to a loved one.

Apologize to a co-worker or employee.

Wrote William Shakespeare, ‘They do not love that do not show their love.'”Benjamin P. Hardy

The Most Important Skill for Interacting with People Benjamin P. Hardy

Ask Yourself: What Burdens Is That Other Person Carrying?Carl Richards

4) Biomedical Treatment for Autism – [This is fascinating to me, but I have some idea how hard this could be to read by parents trying to make decisions about what’s right for their child with autism and the rest of their family. So please bear this in mind, while you read.]

During a conversation this week with a young mom who has a child diagnosed with autism (Autism Spectrum Disorder), my concept of food as intervention was rocked. In her determination to rid her child of the ravages of autism, she is following the counsel of a renowned local pediatrician,  Dr. Mary Megson.  Her approach with autistic children includes intensive testing of biological factors and then applying biomedical measures as appropriate for each child’s findings.

I’m not going into the specifics, but my friend has changed up her child’s diet and has also added a long list of supplements each day. Who would even imagine that giving cod liver oil to a child would have impact on autism? I know her sweet child and the changes I’ve seen just in the last few months are remarkable. The video below captures what another mom did for her son and the difference it made. [Don’t be overwhelmed by all the interventions…every family must decide for themselves what they can believe and manage/afford in the care of their child with autism.]

From my friend’s experience and my wonder at this strange disorder, this type intervention is definitely something to consider…for a season, for the sake of a child. There are just so many diets out there, so I can’t imagine how parents make their decisions. Hopefully the benefits outweigh what can be very isolating and divisive between people who care about each other.

Changes in Attitudes, Changes in Latitudes – Ronald E. – one father’s story

5) An Antique Store Experience – This week I was home visiting my family in Georgia. My sister-in-law is an amazing crafts-person – taking dreary scuffed-up (albeit much loved by someone in the past) old furniture and bringing them to life again. She knows all the best antique shops where others do the same sorts of re-purposing and “up-cycling”.

[Someone took a tv cabinet and made it into a beautiful display piece. Do you see the doors of the cabinet were made into the shelving? And how about an artsy chandelier made from bed springs?!]

[Chenille takes me back to childhood before our comfy modern fabrics…when chenille was the softest bed cover to wrap up in.]

RVA Antiques – a Happy Place – Deb Mills

Saturday Short – Sweet Plans for a Day in River City – #RVA – to Celebrate That Lovely in Your Life – Deb Mills

That’s a wrap on this week’s favorite finds. Please favor us with some of yours in the Comments section below. Have a splendid end-of-summer weekend. Be gentle with yourself and with those you meet…you just never know what it will mean.

Bonuses:

Beyond the Guitar – “I’m in a Video Game” – Nathan Mills

YouTube Video – The Chosen – This Movie Changed the Way I Feel About Christmas – The Shepherd Pilot Episode – Don’t miss the ending.

Quote:

Unhinged. My choice word to describe how I’ve felt all week culminating in a Friday to which I awoke with my eyes being super swollen. I’m wearing an outfit I’m 99% sure I already wore this week (hey, I blame it on being European for a short season & go ahead and judge me as though you’ve never done the same). I’ve slept horribly all week because of worry and stress waking up around 4.

I decided I was going to redeem Friday, eat a croissant, have good coffee, and read a book. Please note the weird lighting and spilled coffee in the background. Because this is actually my life.

The book I’m reading is about a surgeon who during WW2 lived in China and served the Lord and the people there until his premature death. A friend asked me where and why I find books like this and suggested I read something lighter (sometimes I do). This morning it hit me that I know the answer why.

Gravity.

The gravity of a life lived before the Lord in a selfless, sacrificial way calls into reckoning my frivolity and selfishness. I need gravity because far too often I am unhinged and need to be reminded that who I am in Christ, swollen eyes/outfit/sleepless soul/etc., is enough because it doesn’t depend on me. God takes my unhinged-ness and allows me to cast my burdens on him.

And I’m working on it. Praise God. – Taryn Blocker, with permission

3 Ways Senior Leaders Create a Toxic CultureRon Carucci

The Dangers of Distracted ParentsErika Kristakis

Photo Credit: Housekeeping 101, Facebook

Photo Credit: Marianne Wink, Facebook

5 Friday Faves – the Fortnite Phenomenon, Back to School, Clean Comedy, God’s Heart for Justice, and Bonuses Make Five

Happy Friday! One of those weeks that so rapidly entered history. Lots of travel and family and birthdays and then work, of course. Will go right to the faves before the clock runs down. Hope your weekend is long and lovely.

1) The Fortnite Phenomenon – Not a gamer myself, but when the game Fortnite comes up in conversation with men and boys of all ages, it’s easy to see what a phenomenon it is. A multi-player battle game (with elements of construction as well), Fortnite is free-to-play and wildly popular right now in the gaming universe. A unique component of the game includes avatars who break out into dance. These dances are emulated by player fans, and you would recognize some of them because of boys, in particular, master them as they master the game. These dances have become part of Nathan Mills‘ (Beyond the Guitar) classical guitar repertoire. His YouTube channel subscriber numbers have more than tripled since his first post of Fortnite Dances…and views of his videos are in the millions. Enjoy the latest…as the commenters clamor for Fortnite Dances #4.

YouTube Video – Beyond the Guitar – Fortnite Dances on Guitar (Part 2)

YouTube Video – Beyond the Guitar – Fortnite Dances on Guitar (Part 1)

2) Back to School – That time of year is back. So much new happens as summer ends, and Fall stretches out before us. Routines and rhythms crank up again. Growth spurts require new clothes. Then there are all the school supplies required for starting a new year.

As our children grew up, we had varying seasons of “back-to-school” between home schooling and other schooling, both in the US and in Africa. It was never easy for me to see them off, when we didn’t homeschool. I missed them…and those moments together when they talked about life as they saw it. I also missed being able to protect them from some of the meanness in the world. Still, the start of the school year is a hopeful time of anticipation and wonder, of new beginnings and possibilities.[Kudos to the teachers, Stacie Mills & Kirby Joseph, whose classrooms pre-student-return, were my inspiration on this fave.]

How thankful I am for teachers who really care for their students. Teachers who see themselves as partners with parents, even the most woefully unprepared ones…for the sake of these kiddos who will hold the future in their hands one day. What a marvel this is.

Putting the Basket in the Water: Trusting God in the Next Phase of Your Child’s Life – Ashlei Woods

The Trauma-Informed Teacher – Silent Front Line

3) Clean Comedy – So just this week I discovered Dry Bar Comedy. It showcases stand-up comedy that is actually family-friendly. No profanity. No sex. No mean putdowns. The first act (on video) that I caught was Leanne Morgan, a gorgeous Southern woman who puts her arm around our experiences of being female at all ages. Hilarious!

Another clean comic (not with Dry Bar) who I adore is John Crist. His tour this Fall brings him to Richmond, Virginia, and we have tickets. Crist is a preacher’s kid and uses that church experience as fodder for many of his routines. You can see his videos on his website or YouTube channel. Don’t miss him…high energy, so funny.

Michael Jr. Comedy – another favorite of mine.

4) God’s Heart for Justice – For the next six weeks, I’m digging into a study on God’s heart for justice through the International Justice Mission. I bought the book, but if you sign up for daily emails, you can glean great good just in that content and the resource videos.

It’s too easy to turn a blind eye away from the injustices of this world – human trafficking, poverty, racial and religious oppression… Arise focuses on the Biblical definition of justice and the mandate for each of us in turning the tide on it…until Jesus returns and rights all wrongs. We too often are numbed by the immensity of the problem, when, in fact, we can swing the pendulum toward justice… Each one of us can do something. Sign up for daily emails and discover your place in God’s mission of love for those most vulnerable.

Arise: A Study on God’s Heart for Justice

5) Bonuses: 5 bonuses make up my fifth find. Please don’t miss them.

What’s Happening to Our Kids? Technology’s Latest Disruptions – The Middle School Relationship – Alex Whitcomb

Leaf by Leaf: Satisfied (the journey of Mom Melissa and Teen Daughter Maggie through Stage 4 Colon Cancer – and Maggie’s Death and Homegoing – one of the most beautiful stories I’ve ever read

72 Challenging and Truthful Leadership Quotes from Craig Groeschel Opening This Year’s Global Leadership Summit – Brian Dodd

 YouTube Video – Faith In Imagination: The Fantasy Makers – Trailer

YouTube Video – Aretha Franklin (March 25, 1942-August 16, 2018)  – Nessun Dorma – and the National Anthem as only she could do it. Goosebumps! Thank you, Aretha, for all the music.

That winds down this week. Hope yours was stunning – full of meaningful work, real rest, family and friends, and deep conversations. Be gentle with yourself and each other. – some of those people in our lives. #Friends #Community

5 Friday Faves – Mission Impossible, Digital Dementia, Habits that Can Change Your Life, Piles of Books, and Food for Thought

Friday! Whew! With family visiting and some travel also, writing took a back seat the last couple of weeks. It’s always good for me to sit down at my desk and put words on the screen. Something really soothing to my mind in the sound of clicking away on computer keys. Hope the reading soothes you as well.

1) Mission Impossible – Nathan Mills, with all the lovely summer interruptions, still managed to get out an arrangement of the Mission: Impossible Fallout theme. Watch it here.  This makes the sixth of the Mission Impossible films  He covered the film trailer which blends the Mission Impossible theme and Imagine Dragons’ Friction.
Photo Credit: Beyond the Guitar

YouTube Video – Mission: Impossible – Fallout – Classical Guitar Cover by Beyond the Guitar

2) Digital Dementia

Brain researcher Manfred Spitzer coined the term “digital dementia”. It relates to the deterioration of brain function with the overuse of technology. This could include memory loss, attention issues, concentration, and emotional distress such as depression. He would have all digital technology taken out of classrooms. We know that is not going to happen, therefore we must intentionally “exercise our brains” in ways that counteract the brain drain caused by digital technology.  The following are found in Jessica Gwinn‘s piece:

  • Use Your Head. Retrieve information from your brain organically. Sit there and concentrate until you can recall it. [“Use it or lose it, the experts contend. The brain, just like a muscle in our body, can atrophy if we don’t use it.  Perhaps consider a digital sabbatical…If we focus instead on having real conversations, reading books, getting out into nature, and disconnecting from technology, we will be taking care of our brain health and our emotional health as well.”]
  • Crack Open a Book. That’s right. Reading an actual book rather than a tablet has been shown to improve memory retention.
  • Learn a new language. Putting you outside your comfort zone helps your brain work harder, which makes you smarter.
  • Play a new instrument. Instruments require the use of both side of the brain – like the piano or the guitar, for example, which help strengthen and balance it.
  • Get physical. Physical exercise increases blood flow and accelerates the transport of vital nutrients to your brain. – Jessica Gwinn, Dr. Carolyn Brockington

Overuse of Technology Can Lead to Digital Dementia – Jessica Gwinn

Dealing with the Effects of Digital Dementia – Tony Bradley

Digital Dementia: The Memory Problem Plaguing Teens and Young Adults

Kwik Brain: Memory Improvement | Accelerated Learning | Speed-Reading | Brain Hacks | Productivity Tips | High Performance – Jim Kwik, Brain Coach, Founder of Kwik Learning

Adam Gazzaley: The Neuroscience of Attention

3) Habits That Can Change Your Life– We develop habits of all kinds in our lives. They happen almost without thinking. Let’s consider what we want for our lives and then think of what habits we could deliberately put in place to support that desire. I love New Year’s Resolutions, and one of mine from this January is now a habit that will hopefully stick for the rest of my life. It is the habit of making the first voice of each day that of God. Attorney and thought leader Justin Whitmel Earley talks about that as one of his habits as well.

[I previously wrote about Justin Earley’s habits of love here.]

In the midst of life in a high-pressure law practice, he had a revelation that he wanted his life to be structured around habits of love. He lays out these habits on his website and book The Common Rule.

Photo Credit: The Common Rule

What habits would you like to eliminate to make room for others? What habits would move your life in the direction you hope to go?

The Common RuleJustin Whitmel Earley

Scripture Before Phone, and Other Habits That Could Change Your LifeTrevin Wax

YouTube Video – Waking up at 5AM Is Changing My Life – Jordan Taylor [Dealing with his phone addiction]

4) Piles of Books – If you love to read…and love books, in general, you may have something called tsundoku. BBC journalist Tom Gerken introduced me to this term which essentially means having piles of unread books. I struggle with this. Now, I will eventually read the books, but sometimes the stack gets larger as I fall behind on my reading. Keeping them close, as on my bedside table or desk, gives me the comfort of the possibility of reading them. To dangerous to put them on a bookcase unread. Such is the dilemma.

Tsundoku: The Art of Buying Books and Never Reading Them – Tom Gerken

Here’s my current pile. Some have been almost completed but not quite. How about you? Is tsundoku a word that defines the state you find yourself, regarding books yet to be read?

5) Food for Thought – Dave and I celebrated our wedding anniversary last weekend. We were passing through Williamsburg, Virginia, on that Saturday afternoon, with the plan in mind to stop at a favorite restaurant. It is Food for Thought and we love everything about it. The food is excellent and the whole restaurant experience prompts sweet conversation. You are literally surrounded by words at Food for Thought. Quotes of note. Conversation starter cards stacked on each table. Political and literary opinions framed on the walls. Whether Democrat or Republican, it is a friendly and welcoming place. The whole idea is bringing people together for food and talk – both of which are meant to be enjoyed and reveled in. During our meal, restaurant owner Howard Hopkins joined us for a bit of conversation. It felt as natural as an old friend sitting awhile on her way to her own table. Lovely time all the way around. I’m thinking this will be where we’ll be for our next anniversary.

Food for Thought, More Than a Clever Name – Tammy Jaxtheimer

Bonuses:

A Guide to the Science of Giving – Rafael Sarandeses

A Generation Grows Up in China Without Google, Facebook or Twitter – Li Yuan

The Most Dangerous Prayer a Christian Can Pray – Darrell B. Harrison

Photo Credit: Frank Sonnenberg, Twitter

Jesus Understand Your Loneliness – Jon Bloom

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end,
nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
Thomas Merton

5 Friday Faves – Solitude, a Culture Wall, Like a Mother – Serena Williams, Our Children, and Food With a Friend

Check this week as done. For us around here, it’s been a week of great highs punctuated by distinct lows. How amazing that we can pray through and lean in to God and each other for the lows…and celebrate the highs, in quiet and in company. Life is good and real.

1) Solitude – Writer, philosopher Zat Rana caught my eye with his article The Most Important Skill Nobody Taught You. Turns out his view of that most important untaught skill is solitude. That ability to just enjoy being alone. Sitting or walking alone. Lost in your own thoughts. Except for a self-portrait for a photography class, you won’t see many signs in my life that solitude is something that comes easy.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Blaise Pascal

The Most Important Skill Nobody Taught YouZat Rana

According to Pascal, we fear the silence of existence, we dread boredom and instead choose aimless distraction, and we can’t help but run from the problems of our emotions into the false comforts of the mind.

The issue at the root, essentially, is that we never learn the art of solitude. – Zat Rana

[My husband who often sits by himself at dawn and dusk to recharge. For him, solitude is something that has come naturally.]

Rana talks about how technology has connected us in a myriad of ways but the connectedness is more virtual than real. – We now live in a world where we’re connected to everything except ourselves.”

“Our aversion to solitude is really an aversion to boredom…we dread the nothingness of nothing. We can’t imagine just being rather than doing. And therefore, we look for entertainment, we seek company, and if those fail, we chase even higher highs. We ignore the fact that never facing this nothingness is the same as never facing ourselves. And never facing ourselves is why we feel lonely and anxious in spite of being so intimately connected to everything else around us.” – Zat Rana

Everything I Have Learned in 500 Words – Zat Rana

2) A Culture Wall – Benjamin Hardy is a writer, organizational psychologist dude. I am reading his book Willpower Doesn’t Work: Discovering the Keys to Success. This week he posted about having a culture wall, and it totally engaged this visual learner. Designed by Gaping Void, this is an art-as-inspiration tool for the workplace.Photo Credit: Benjamin Hardy, Medium; Gaping Void

Looking at Benjamin Hardy’s culture wall got me thinking of the truths that keep me going at work and at home. Coming up with those sayings or mantras, as a team, or family, would be an excellent exercise…and then making the art happen would flow naturally out of that. It doesn’t have to be 20 pictures, like Hardy’s. Even one is a good start.

[Sidebar – Guitarist, YouTuber Nathan Mills, at Beyond the Guitar, in his videos, often features a “nerd shrine” with striking wall art. I wonder what a culture wall would look like in his studio.]

These 20 Pictures Will Teach You More Than Reading 100 BooksBenjamin Hardy

3) Like a Mother – Serena Williams – American tennis champion Serena Williams made it to the Wimbledon final this year. She didn’t win but she played #LikeaMother.  The expression “like a mother” brings all sorts of images to mind…and makes for marketing genius… Two examples are a Lysol commercial and one by Gatorade, the latter featuring Serena Williams.

Here’s to Serena Williams…including a couple of interviews where she and husband investor Alexis Ohanian describe how they met.

4) Our Children – Writer Frederica Mathewes-Green could have been a buddy of mine in college. In those days of the Vietnam War, we were those conflicted ones who wrote our high school sweethearts away in the military and we vocally protested at the same time. The Roe v. Wade decision was very new and felt very progressive to all of us, in those days…the “make love, not war” crowd. I was young and being pro-life or pro-choice wasn’t even on my radar…until after that court case divided us into mostly two camps. Mathewes-Green has written the most definitive piece on abortion and the legacy we are leaving our children in the article When Abortion Suddenly Stopped Making Sense.

She writes:

“Whatever your opinion is on abortion, I ask you to read this article. Fresh eyes. Mathewes-Green was around when that court decision was made. She was also feminist, as were so many of us in those days. She is still very pro-women…pro-human.

We expected that abortion would be rare. What we didn’t realize was that, once abortion becomes available, it becomes the most attractive option for everyone around the pregnant woman. If she has an abortion, it’s like the pregnancy never existed. No one is inconvenienced. It doesn’t cause trouble for the father of the baby, or her boss, or the person in charge of her college scholarship. It won’t embarrass her mom and dad.

Abortion is like a funnel; it promises to solve all the problems at once. So there is significant pressure on a woman to choose abortion, rather than adoption or parenting.

A woman who had had an abortion told me, “Everyone around me was saying they would ‘be there for me’ if I had the abortion, but no one said they’d ‘be there for me’ if I had the baby.””

and

“No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw off its own leg.”

Photo Credit: CASA

Her article frames this Friday Fave.  Why “our children” as the heading? When I read Mathewes-Green’s article, she reminded me that our children or our children’s children may judge these decades very differently than our culture has – these decades of thousands of babies not delivered alive. Definitely, if those not delivered alive could speak…those silenced by their own mothers (out of desperation with no one offering to help them in life-giving ways)…if they could speak, we might see things differently today. Thankful for women, like Frederica Mathewes-Green, who provide a call to reconsider and a platform for the voices of all our children.

When Abortion Suddenly Stopped Making Sense Frederica Mathewes-Green

Video – 50 Mums – 50 Kids – 1 Extra Chromosome

Tending your Garden – Colleen Searcy

5) Food With a Friend – Don’t you love surprise visits with a friend, now living states away? When I got Nikki’s text to meet up for a lunch this week, it was like a healing balm on my heart. She suggested a restaurant new to me: Mezeh Mediterranean Grill.

How have I missed this yummy place? All the food memories of our years in the Arab world mixed together in a big bowl. Pretty much my experience that day.

Add a long conversation between friends (including one other who joined our happy table)…and it was like Heaven here in Richmond, Virginia. Any such happy occasions come to mind for you this week? Hope so.

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That’s the week. Please comment below on any of these faves of mine or introduce your own… Have a restorative weekend… whatever that means for you and those you love.

Bonuses

Here’s Exactly What to Do If a Tick Bites You – Kate Sheridan

What To Do When You Think Your Life Sucks

I Love Jesus But I Want to Die: What You Need to Know About Suicide – Sarah

The Space Between – Marilyn Gardner

Paris, the evening of the World Cup FinalPhoto Credit: Nikaley Chandler

Tour de France – The Climbers and Rapid Descenders – the stages through the Alps happened this week – so incredibly exciting watching these riders – their toughness and endurance:Photo Credit: Cyclist

Happily Ever After – 100 Wedding Songs for Your Ceremony and Reception – Music Notes

Photo Credit: Jimmy Lee Thompson, Facebook