Have you made any errors in judgment lately? Did your judgment lead you to attitudes or actions that you would later regret? I have, maybe not as of yet this morning, but definitely yesterday. Some folks are more accomplished at shrugging them off and moving on. I over-think them, and sometimes beat myself up for them. Not always correcting course, as in taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends.
Ugh!
Fortunately, I have folks in my life who allow me to process these mistakes and determine the best way forward. Both inside my own head and in relationship with others. Community (i.e. caring accountability) is a wonderful thing.
The graphic above is taken from an article written by Debbie Hampton, this brilliant woman who is also a suicide survivor – talk about a person who took a dark turn in her decision-making and managed to come out the other side in a much better place.
She talks about taking the mistakes we make and dealing with them with forgiveness, kindness, and compassion. We don’t have to be bound by our regret of decisions made. We can reframe our memories and can hopefully extend grace, both to ourselves and others. As we shake off the negative and explore what we can learn, a mental shift and positive action plan are possible. Turning our regrets into lessons.
One discipline in decision-making is to assess how it is we are prone to find ourselves, again and again, in situations that cause hurt to ourselves and others.
Psychologist Carrie Steckl writes about three errors that can affect our decision-making:
Representativeness bias – our tendency to judge a situation based on our predominate experiences and beliefs about the situation.
Availability bias – our tendency to make decisions based on what is most familiar to us, whether it is the best choice for us or not.
Confirmatory bias – our tendency to make an early judgment and listen only to information that validates that judgment.
This was really helpful for me, because I can default to negative thinking, rather than taking charge and turning a situation around. This comes out of habit, and I want to change that habit.
For the moment, still reeling from how my afternoon was derailed yesterday with mistaken decision-making, I want to focus on the importance of moving regrets into life lessons. Habit formation is key, undergirded by three elements: consistency, intensity, and community. Entrepreneur and motivational speaker Sahil Bloom gives a simple yet profound way to approach habit formation:
This is where I am today. How about you? Any regrets? Let’s determine to turn the corner on these by making some simple, thoughtful changes in our mental maps and resultant actions.
It must be a burden being right all the time…or maybe not. That sense of authority on what’s right clears the room of two important qualities – curiosity and humility.
My husband and I have a running joke about being right. He will make a statement about something which I may not agree with in that moment. Then as we talk, I realize he’s right. Then he will say, “I could be wrong, but I’m not very often”.
Now you may take offense at that, but if you know my husband, he is not arrogant and he is a life-long learner. Curiosity and humility are very much a part of his character.
If we’re honest, what he says in jest is what we often believe about our own thinking. Whether we voice it or not, it’s there. We believe we are right…which could mean she/he/they are wrong.
This is a huge political season in the US. The Presidential election is days away. Everyone has an opinion. Everything thinks they are right. Dialog and reasoning together are as rare as truth. Did I just say that?
I wish we could talk. Speak unfiltered from our hearts. Genuinely consider the future of our children and grandchildren. Vote our consciences. It may not always be possible. However…do we just draw away from each other and close ranks with those who agree with us? Or maybe we aren’t sure who they are, who even agrees with us after all…
“You can be right and you can be left” – another family saying to which I’ll add (as Pepper Sweeney said above) “but you can only be together when you meet in the middle”.
I recently met up with a dear friend who had on a political t-shirt. She is one of the loveliest persons you would ever want to know. The t-shirt had some messaging (I’m not going to get it completely right) which communicated about one political party bringing us altogether – uniting us all, no matter who we were. In the design, there were hands holding signs high with all sorts of causes, identities, and alliances. As we talked, I kept studying the t-shirt design and realized I wasn’t represented amongst the “all togethers”.
It got me thinking again about how we all are sure we’re right – About a lot of things. About the candidates, the government, the future, the people who make up America. Politics has gotten to be such a game of deceit – who can make us believe them the most; who can tell the best stories and get us off our couches to vote for them? I would love to have a gathering, at church or with friends or family, to really sort out what are our better choices given what we have to work with. Is it even possible to own our struggle? Or wonder if we’re right or wrong? A better conversation may be to determine what is right thinking post-election, no matter who wins. What is our right response and best path forward?
So much blaming, polarizing, scapegoating, victimizing or playing the victim on the news and in social media right now. I’d love to have an opportunity to dialog in a forum where we agree we may not be right – we may not know everything we need to know – but we want to do right by each other. Would that be possible? Ever? Comment below if you have known that sort of experience in recent years.
Well…just wondering aloud this morning. I’m still hopeful. In fact, even I think I’m right most of the time. Don’t we all?! However, I’m willing to learn and especially to learn to do right, whether I am right all the time or not. We can’t be right if we don’t do right. Am I right? Here’s to more humility and more curiosity! And if you’re thinking it’s your candidate who’s right, is it possible you could be wrong? Or for sure, not right all the time…on this matter, I am in a quandary myself. Peace.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I set aside childish ways. Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:11-13
The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. – Romans 6:23
God’s law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were. But as people sinned more and more, God’s wonderful grace became more abundant. – Romans 5:20
The seriousness of sin has been on my mind lately, reading through John Mark Comer‘s book “Live No Lies: Recognize and Resist the Three Enemies that Sabotage Your Peace”. Those enemies are Satan (“the father of lies”), the world (that tempts us to live in whatever way we choose, encouraging self-deception), and our own flesh (“the heart wants what it wants”). We all sin. It is why Jesus had to die for us, because none of us have the ability to restore our own standing before a holy God. He loves us. Full stop. Our problem is letting sin get between us and God…and it will. Lying, for instance, births deceit. When we think we can get away with lying, we fall into even more trouble, inside our own heads, in relationship with others, and with God. Satan, the world, and our own flesh deceive us into thinking that sin is not such a big deal. Wrong! It separates us from God and each other, destroying our peace and joy.
Our flesh can be bent toward any number of self-gratifying sins. In reading Comer’s book, I was reminded of “The 7 Deadly Sins” is a grouping that covers many. This list goes back to the early church (Tertullian, Evagrius Ponticus). At some point in my life, I have struggled with all of these, as you might have as well.
The Lord loves us. When we continue in sin, treating it casually and indulgently, we step away from Him, His love, and His protection and provision. Repentance is how we overcome sin. We take it seriously and we confront it (sometimes multiple times through the day) in the power of the Holy Spirit.
“The truth is our sins are overwhelming. The magnitude of their number is enormous. We are natural born sinners. There are so many terrible or shameful things we’ve done, thought, and said. There are so many good things that we neglected, failed to do, or refused to do. We identify with the confession of Ezra that “our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.” (Ezra 9:6) Likewise, we sing with solidarity the lyrics of David’s lament, “My iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me” (Psalm 38:4). We are sinners and there’s no doubt about it. Our rap sheet says it all as it piles into a heap rising high above our heads. This dark and dismal reality is enough to make our palms sweat.
And that’s where the gospel bursts forth with explosive mercy! The mercy of God is greater than your sin. The grace of God is stronger than your sin. The kindness of God overwhelms your sin. The compassion of God smothers your sin. The goodness of God is literally larger than your sin. Do you believe it yet? Is it sinking in? Do you feel the stronghold of shame beginning to erode under the force of God’s mercy? This is why we call it good news. There is no better news for sinners like us. Praise God.” – Josh Maloy
Matt Papa was inspired, in the writing of the contemporary hymn “His Mercy Is More”, by a letter written by John Newton to a man in his church who struggled with doubt and besetting sin. John Newton was once a British slave trader who finally came under the conviction of sin by the Holy Spirit. The weight of that sin and the goodness of God to save him upon his repentance led to him writing the song “Amazing Grace”. Below is an excerpt from that letter which Matt discovered and was moved to write “His Mercy Is More”.
“You have one hard lesson to learn, that is, the evil of your own heart. You know something of it, but it is needful that you should know more. For the more we know of ourselves, the more we shall prize and love Jesus and His salvation.
I hope what you find in yourself by daily experience will humble you, but not discourage you: humble you it should, and I believe it does.
Are not you amazed sometimes that you should have so much as a hope, that, poor and needy as you are, the Lord thinketh of you?
But let not all you feel discourage you. For if our Physician is almighty, our disease cannot be desperate and if He casts none out that come to Him, why should you fear?
Our sins are many, but His mercies are more: our sins are great, but His righteousness is greater: we are weak, but He is power. Most of our complaints are owing to unbelief, and the remainder of a legal spirit. And these evils are not removed in a day.
Wait on the Lord, and He will enable you to see more and more of the power and grace of our High Priest. – John Newton
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one...praying at all times. – Ephesians 6:11-16, 18
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” …His truth shall be your shield and buckler…Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you…for He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.” – Psalm 91:1-2, 4b, 9-11, 14-15
From the Creation story to present day, we are confronted by lies. Through the world’s influence, in our own fallen flesh, and from Satan and his emissaries. Maybe we don’t think much about it, because lies just become part of our worldview if we aren’t on guard. Weighing truth against what seems true or what might be true. Just yesterday, my son told me about his 8 y/o’s troubling thought that he didn’t really love God. What I know of the Holy Spirit, that thought did not come from Him. Satan is the father of lies and the accuser of believers. My son was able to comfort our grandson with the truth, both about God and how this precious child’s thoughts can wrongly condemn him. The talk about our enemy, the Devil, will come later.
Much is written about spiritual warfare, and too often, it is as if it’s us, rather me, against Satan. God is our victor. The battle is truly His, and Satan is no match for the Creator. The Scripture is full of encouragements for us to be strong and courageous, to stand against our enemies, and to trust the Lord. The battle does not depend on our winning, it is God’s to win. However, God calls us to plant our feet on the truth of who He is, who we are, and what He intends for our lives (John Mark Comer, Live No Lies).
“The devil’s goal is to first isolate us, then implant in our minds deceitful ideas that play to our disordered desires, which we feel comfortable with because they are normalized by the status quo of our society. Specifically, he lies about who God is, who we are, and what the good life is, with an aim to undermine our trust in God’s love and wisdom. His intent is to get us to seize autonomy from God and redefine good and evil for ourselves, thereby leading to the ruin of our souls and society.” – John Mark Comer, Live No Lies: Recognize and Resist the Three Enemies That Sabotage Your Peace
We are probably all familiar with Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness and Satan’s tempting Him. The Evil One has not changed his ways of beguiling since the beginning, when he similarly tempted Eve to distrust God. Ours is to follow and practice the way Jesus dealt with lies and with the accuser. With quiet prayer (in solitude), with seeking the truth (Scripture), with fasting. And in community. Satan attacks most when we are isolated from God and one another.
With the Spirit of God ruling in our hearts and lives, we need never fear. The battle is real, but God is present with us. We stand in His strength. Although our enemies are real and the world seems hostile to us, we have a greater Overcomer.
Singer/songwriter David Crowder tells this story in his rocking anthem Unstoppable. It puts in perspective that our God is invincible, and because we are in Him, we have the confidence and privilege of tasting His victory. Hallelujah!
Devil’s playing fiddle Demons coming like a missile To my left, to my right But I ain’t be dancing with ’em I got angels watching over me Fighting all my enemies Wear ’em out, knock ’em down ‘Bout to taste that victory
Hey, hey They can try to slow me Thinking that they own me They be thinking crazy Hey Welcome to the showdown They about to find out
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You, nothing’s impossible No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
See these arrows in my quiver Winner, winner, chicken dinner If I’m bitten by the serpent He’ll be sucking out the venom I got someone watching over me Fighting all my enemies See that smile on my face ‘Bout to taste that victory
Hey, hey They can try to slow me Thinking that they own me They be thinking crazy Hey Welcome to the showdown They about to find out A-a-amen
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You, nothing’s impossible No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
When I got You When I got You
That’s my dad, I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad That’s my dad, I’m His son Watch him make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad
That’s my dad, and I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad That’s my dad, I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, yeah, that’s my dad
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You When I got You, nothing’s impossible When I got You No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful No way I lose Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD! – Psalm 150:6
Rejoice in the LORD, O righteous ones; it is fitting for the upright to praise Him. – Psalm 33:1
The Lord is faithful to all His words and merciful toward all He has made. The Lord lifts up all who fall, and He supports all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look eagerly to You, and You give them their food at the proper time. He opens his hand, and He satisfies the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways and merciful toward all that He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. He grants the desire of those who fear Him. He hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him, but He will destroy all the wicked. My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord. Let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever. – Psalm 145:13-21
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!” – Revelation 5:13
Praise is a completely natural response to both the character of God and His marvelous works.
On a phone call earlier today, my mom-in-law was going down her prayer list, asking me the status of different ones for whom she has been praying. Over and over, she would say, “Answered prayer!” It was true. As we pause our lives and consider God, we can take hope, even rejoice, in all that He is doing in our lives and around us. This world feels broken, but He isn’t finished…not nearly so.
We may all have different ways we praise God and different preferences as to the setting of praise. In the expansive out of doors or inside in a “quiet time” chair. In the living room of a house church or a huge worship space. Alone or with others.
The point is that we keep praise a priority in our daily lives. Even in valley experiences or a season of suffering, when we look for it, we will find reason upon reason to praise the Lord. A dear friend of mine finishes her cancer treatment this week. We are praising God for how He walked with her through this time such that she made it through a hard regimen and will ring the bell on Friday to celebrate the last day of treatment. We are also praising God as another friend is getting prepared to start cancer treatment; her cancer was found before she started having symptoms. We are trusting God for good outcomes for both. Praise. Praise. Praise. He is worthy.
Several months ago, I went with a friend to a concert that turned out to be so much more than just great music. It was church. Worship with a few hundred folks we didn’t know but shared a love for Jesus that would bring us to our feet, hands in the air, singing along with singer/songwriter Brandon Lake.
There is something about Brandon Lake that reminds me of King David in 2 Samuel 6:14-22 when he was dancing in the streets at the return of the Ark of the Lord. He could not contain his joy and had no care for what others might have thought of him. Praising God, dancing before Him, taking great comfort in this moment of feeling God’s pleasure and provision.
God is worthy of praise, with complete abandon, our minds riveted on Him, both alone and in the company of the saints.
Worship with me…and Brandon. Stand on up. You will be in good company. Sometimes you’ve gotta dance through the darkness Sing through the fire, praise when it don’t make sense Sometimes you’ve gotta stare down the giant Worship from the lion’s den
Sometimes you’ve gotta shout it from the mountain Louder in the valley, trusting that He’s gonna get you there Sometimes you’ve gotta welcome the wonder Wait for the answer, worship with your hands in the air I’ll praise You anywhеre
Praise, give Him praisе, give Him praise in the highest Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, yes, He is worthy of all of the praise
Sometimes you’ve gotta praise in the prison Cry out to heaven, shout it ’til the doors swing wide Sometimes you’ve gotta stand on your shackles Brave in the battle, worship with your hands held high I’ll praise You anywhere
Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, yes, He is worthy of all of the Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, yes, He is worthy of all of the praise
Faithful all my life, blessings day and night Countless reasons why I’ll praise You anywhere Every promise kept, goodness every step Each and every breath, I’ll praise You anywhere Faithful all my life, blessings day and night Countless reasons why I’ll praise You anywhere Every promise kept, goodness every step Each and every breath, I’ll praise You anywhere
Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest Praise, give Him praise, give Him praise in the highest He is worthy, yes, He is worthy of all of the praise
Oh, I’ll praise you anywhere Oh, mountain or valley, I know that You’re with me there I’ll praise You anywhere*
We’re not done! Years ago, when we lived overseas, in Cairo, Egypt, we would attend a monthly praise event called “The Cutting Edge” at Maadi Community Church. Our kids were young and just cutting their teeth on corporate worship. Those evenings, in the cool of hot days, we gathered in the courtyard of this international church and sang together – with other believers from many nations, all having different worship styles and preferences. It didn’t matter. What a grace to focus on Jesus and sing our hearts out!
One more song on this Worship Wednesday – “Praise” with Brandon Lake, Chris Brown & Chandler Moore. Somehow I had missed this song until a few days ago…we have so many reasons to praise the Lord. Let’s get after it!
Let’s go, 1, 2, hey Let everything that has breath Praise the Lord (You got it), praise the Lord Let everything, let everything that has breath Praise the Lord, praise the Lord (Let everything) Let everything (Hey) that has breath (Hey)
[Verse 1: Brandon Lake] I’ll praise in the valley, praise on the mountain (Yeah) I’ll praise when I’m sure, praise when I’m doubting I’ll praise when outnumbered, praise when surrounded ‘Cause praise is the waters my enemies drown in
[Chorus: Brandon Lake & Chandler Moore, Both] As long as I’m breathing I’ve got a reason to Praise the Lord, oh my soul Praise the Lord, oh my soul
[Verse 2: Chris Brown & Chandler Moore] I’ll praise when I feel it, and I’ll praise when I don’t (Yeah) I’ll praise ’cause I know You’re still in control ‘Cause my praise is a weapon, it’s more than a sound (More than a sound) Oh, my praise is the shout that brings Jericho down (Yeah)
[Chorus: Brandon Lake & Chandler Moore, Both] As long as I’m breathing I’ve got a reason to Praise the Lord (C’mon), oh my soul Praise the Lord, oh my soul I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (I gotta) Praise the Lord, oh my soul (Yeah, praise the Lord)
[Interlude: Brandon Lake] C’mon let me see a dance, put a dance on it tonight (Yeah) If you’re grateful, c’mon Hey, hey, yeah
[Bridge: Brandon Lake & Chris Brown] I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign, praise ’cause You reign Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful, praise ’cause You’re true Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign, praise ’cause You reign (You reign) Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful, praise ’cause You’re true Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You
[Chorus: Chris Brown, Brandon Lake & Chandler Moore, All] Praise the Lord, oh my soul (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon) (I gotta) Praise the Lord, oh my soul (Praise the Lord, oh my soul) Praise the Lord, oh my soul Praise the Lord, oh my soul I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (How could I) I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (I won’t keep quiet) I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (I gotta) Praise the Lord, oh my soul
[Outro: Chandler Moore] Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump Let everything that has breath Praise the Lord (Hey, hey), praise the Lord Let everything, let everything that has breath (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon) Praise the Lord (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon) Praise the Lord (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon) (Let everything), Let everything that has breath Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord (Let everything), Let everything that has breath (Praise the Lord) Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord**
We all have fathers – whether very present, present but distant, or long-time absent. Some of you may be fathers. Some of you may have wanted to be fathers but are not able to be…for whatever reasons.
This day of commemoration usually means a good meal and some sort of gifting or pampering for you dads. For all of you, with or without children, you can be influencers…and we need you. My biological father was absent long before my parents divorced.
Thankfully I have had a rich heritage of good fathers through the rest of my life – my step-dad, brothers, uncles, husband, father-in-law, son/son-in-law, brother-in-law, nephews, and loving, empowering male friends and colleagues. Most of these good fathers in my life were spiritual fathers…but fathers nonetheless.
The father of my own children used to travel with his work. He and I had a parting ritual. He runs through the “in case something happens” list [let me know if you want particulars of that – it is helpful to know]. Then, we did sort of a “Thanks for marrying me” farewell…and finally that wonderful, “If I don’t see you here, I’ll see you THERE.” When this man wasn’t present with us, he still was.
Fathering, like mothering, is not an easy job. So much dying to self. So much responsibility. What a delight for us when the men in our lives take fathering on their shoulders as they might a sleeping child. Surrendering themselves to the serving of those younger than them. I thank God for men who humble themselves in prayer for their children and who go to work every day to support their families. Working, studying, and life-long learning passed on to their children and others.
These dads are too-often taken for granted in the shadow of fathering that falls short. The absent, neglectful and downright abusive fathers cut wounds so deep that decent fathers are sometimes judged by the same measure. We watch for “the sins of the fathers to be revisited on their children” (Numbers 14:18).
Today, let’s reflect on the good fathers. Those who were present at our births, or those who came later in life to us, or those who father us out of their own great hearts. Imperfect, sure. All of us are. Yet, there are those men who go many more than second miles for us, and we are grateful. – Deb Mills
…and finally let’s live in hope that those fathers who struggle to be present or loving may one day gather themselves together, awaken to what was left behind, and reach out to the treasures they missed along the way…and may they find us within reach.
“As to my children, you are now to be left fatherless, which I hope will be an inducement to you all to seek a Father who will never fail you.” – Jonathan Edwards, his last words to his children, as he lay dying
What can we learn about leadership from a priest? A priest who spent his potentially most influential years as pastor of L’Arche – a community for mentally handicapped persons? What? Plenty!
Henri J. M. Nouwen was a renowned scholar, writer, professor, and a Dutch Catholic priest. He taught for many years at such prestigious universities as Notre Dame, Yale, and Harvard. His writings were prolific and his personality was winsome.
Whether you are Christian or not, you will profit from the tiny book (81 pages) he wrote on leadership – “In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership”. I read this book yesterday afternoon and was spellbound by his wisdom. Having read many texts on leadership over the years, both secular and Christian, I was captivated by Nouwen’s take on leadership…and his willingness to confront the pitfalls that can occur along the way. In a clear and succinct way, he exposed the temptations we have in leading others and the way we can extinguish them through applying certain disciplines or habits.
Nouwen points out three temptations leaders are apt to succumb to, and then he offers three disciplines to counter (and gain freedom from) them. Christian readers, you will appreciate his direction. He refers to Scripture for his teaching – two passages in particular: 1) Jesus’ questioning a repentant Peter after he had denied the Lord three times (John 21:15-19), and 2) the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness (Luke 4:1-13). I will list the temptations below and examples from my own life where they crept in:
To Be Relevant – In recent years this has actually been a longing of mine, before the Lord. After retiring from a full and satisfying ministry life, with all our children grown and on their own, my days got very quiet. I didn’t know what to do with them. The calls to join this team or lead that work just didn’t come in. Somehow I had made relevance an idol. Thankfully God was working away at that temptation in my life. He is still at work, because I still struggle…but not like before. Earlier today, I was sitting in the waiting room while an Afghan grandmother in my care was having dental work done. It’s been my least favorite activity on the refugee resettlement team of our church. The appointments are three hours long (for the dental students’ learning), and even with books, phone, and hallways to do steps, I bristled at times at the servitude of this activity. After reading Nouwen’s book, he pointed the way to resist. Contemplative prayer is the answer. Recognizing that I don’t need to be going here or there because it is I who am needed in those situations. To use the time of seeming irrelevance to participate in a grander work than I could have ever imagined. To simply be, humbled and grateful, with God, and to have a quiet many would love to know. To remember that the work, whatever it is, came from Him to begin with. I don’t own work, or ministry, or service of any kind. It is an opportunity to show up for a greater good, in a quieter state, where I am surrendered, making myself available, to love others more than myself – “in the name of Jesus”.
“I’m telling you all this because I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self. That is the way Jesus came to reveal God’s love…God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love and has chosen us to proclaim that love as the true source of all human life.” – Henri Nouwen
2. To Be Popular (Spectacular even) – What a temptation this is. It is stealthy. We sometimes aren’t even aware that we experience it. Until we are. Sigh… Leadership lends itself to singular popularity (even in situations where people love to hate you…it’s still a superlative position of a sort). When we rise through the ranks, through experience mixed with education, it can be a very individualistic journey. “Lonely at the top”. However, there is a head trip attached where we become prone to thinking that we are the ones to call, or to consult, or to give opinion, or have the last decision. This temptation to want to be “the one” is fortunately tempered by doing work/life/church in community. By taking someone along. By sharing decision-making. By including those most affected in the conversation. Making room around the table. Nouwen, in regards to this temptation, calls the reader to Confession and Forgiveness. When is the last time you heard a leader confess a weakness or struggle? When did she or he ask forgiveness for a decision that turned out poorly or for a moral failure exposed? Being willing to remove the cape of the hero, and step off the pedestal, takes a humility that allows for, mutual confession and forgiveness within the larger community.
3. To Be Powerful – What a temptation!! To believe that we could actually have power over other people’s lives. To be in a position of making sweeping decisions with little restraint. To be surrounded by those who (dealing with their own temptations) would go along with the decisions out of their own need for popularity and power. It’s messed-up. In fact, what we think is our leading is really being led (by our own preferences, or the pressures of that vaunted position). What’s the solution? Now, each of these temptations so far has had a spiritual response – prayer, confession and forgiveness. What is the way forward when power has taken the driver’s seat? Theological Reflection. Nouwen is NOT talking about the answers that may be debated in the seminary classroom. It goes far deeper…to actually look for the truth in the background…and seeking to act on what is true…not for the sake of relevance or popularity or to hold onto power.
“Christian leaders have the arduous task of responding to personal struggles, family conflicts, national calamities, and international tensions with an articulate faith in God’s real presence. They have to say ‘no’ to every form of fatalism, defeatism, accidentalism or incidentalism which make people believe that statistics are telling us the truth. They have to say ‘no’ to every form of despair in which human life is seen as a pure matter of good or bad luck. They have to say ‘no’ to sentimental attempts to make people develop a spirit of resignation or stoic indifference in the face of the unavoidability of pain, suffering, and death…Theological reflection is reflecting on the painful and joyful realities of every day with the mind of Jesus and thereby raising human consciousness to the knowledge of God’s gentle guidance.” – Henri Nouwen
Henri Nouwen left the lofty academic environment to join in community with those who would not incline to be impressed with his credentials. Yet, in the setting of L’Arche, Nouwen dug deep into how to lead in gentler and more loving ways, with the example of the life of Jesus, and the nearness of God and community.
The beauty of his life laid down has given me pause to look differently at leadership and the possibility of being led…by a God who loves us first, in servant mode, in community with others…in the name of Jesus.
What just happened? When you read the title “What If You’re Wrong”, was there a reaction in mind or body? If I had written “What If I’m Wrong”, it would have been far less provocative, right? Clearly, it’s possible for me to be wrong on many things. Not just possible but actual. I am most probably wrong on a number of things, either out of ignorance, preference, a lack of understanding, or neglect of the truth.
Is there a way we can talk about the stuff that matters to us with people who care about very different sorts of things? People who strongly disagree. People who are sure they are right, when we are also sure that we are…and they are wrong.
Below you’ll find an old video of a Richard Dawkins lecture at a Virginia university. He took questions from the floor, and one very brave, if not naive, student asked him “What if you’re wrong?” His answer, or non-answer but more repartee, was clearly one he had fashioned for just that question. Have a listen.
The lecture must have had to do with the existence of God, and Dr. Dawkins, though once a “Christian” is now an atheist. His response to the student was condescending, dismissive, and unkind. Oddly, his reasoning fell along the same lines as a 16y/o Muslim student in my World Religions class in Morocco. My student surmised that people followed the religion of their parents. Yet, here, Dr. Dawkins disproved what he said himself by leaving the Christian faith for atheism. In the video, maybe he considered disrespectful the student asking the question, therefore, he responded with mirrored disrespect. Who knows?
This is what I’m wanting to know. Can people engage each other with curiosity, care, and consideration (hope you don’t mind alliteration)…when they are at opposite ends of a worldview or belief system?
The key is those 3 c-words above. If I truly want to understand the position of another person, hopefully that can be communicated in such a way that engenders an openness. If that person knows I truly care about him/her, maybe they would be willing to trust me with such a conversation. If they knew my desire is to take into consideration how they came to their conclusions, maybe they would risk digging down into their reasoning. No judgment. On either side.
That would be amazing.
Writer, creator Adam Dachis posted a helpful piece for Lifehacker.
Common Denominator – Find It. What might the continuing point of contention between you? Find that “button” that always gets pushed and choose together to find a way for it not to be the confounding issue.
Considering What’s Right – Convictions & Outcomes When you analyze your positions (convictions), it is possible to consider which would lead to a better outcome. This is a growth point toward understanding if not change.
Changing Someone Else’s Behavior – Shouldn’t Be the Goal. – Trying to change the other person’s opinion or worldview can’t be the goal. They are in control there, but you can change something about your own behavior toward them or the situation. This approach is not about people-pleasing but about defusing and deescalating. The goal has to be relationship, or why bother?
Consult the Facts. We tend to focus on and be influenced by information that aligns with how we think, not even considering that the information might be wrong. If one of us considers the other wrong, the temptation is to attack (if I am the one feeling right or feeling wrong, the default is to become defensive and tempted to attack). Listen to the other side. Be tuned into what you are feeling as well. Stay in the conversation. Treat yourself and the other person with compassion. The goal is understanding.
Gustavo Razzetti, a work culture design consultant, writes about the difference between the soldier mindset and the scout mindset in dealing with conflicting worldviews:
“The soldier mindset is rooted in the need to defend ourselves. The pressure to be right elevates our adrenaline—we experience a fight-or-flight response.
A more curious mindset is that of the scout—this role is about understanding, not defending our beliefs. The scout goes out, maps the terrain, and identifies the real challenge—he wants to know what’s really there.
The mindset you choose affects your judgment, analysis, and decision-making.
The soldier mindset is rooted in emotions like aggression and tribalism. The scout mindset is rooted in curiosity—it’s about the pleasure of learning new things, being intrigued when new facts contradict our beliefs, and not feeling weak about changing our mind.
I lived for many years in countries where the majority religion was not my own. Local friends would at some point or other ask me the “right or wrong” sort of question… “Why wouldn’t I consider their religion?” I treated that question with the care I had for those friends. In fact, I have a document on my computer where I considered all their tenets of faith and what kept me from becoming a follower of their religion. What was right for them was wrong for me.
However, the most beautiful experience of those “What if you’re wrong” scenarios was what happened with my dearest local friends. Without knowing the concept at the time, we determined to make each other feel “seen, soothed, safe, and secure”. Although my own faith (especially my belief in Jesus as Savior and Lord) would not be altered, these friends mattered deeply to me. We reconciled our differences in faith through the depth of our friendship. If one had to be considered right and the other wrong, we would still love each other. Period. Full-stop.
Before the throne therewas a sea of glass, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures full of eyes in front and in back. The first living creature was like a lion, the second living creature like a calf, the third living creature had a face like a man, and the fourth living creature was like a flying eagle.The four living creatures, each having six wings, were full of eyes around and within. And they do not rest day or night, saying:
“Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come!”
Whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to Him who sits on the throne, who lives forever and ever, the twenty-four elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne and worship Him who lives forever and ever, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying:
“You are worthy, O Lord, To receive glory and honor and power; For You created all things, And by Your will they exist and were created.” – Revelation 4:6-11
After this I looked and saw a multitude too large to count, from every nation and tribe and people and tongue, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” And all the angels stood around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures. And they fell face down before the throne and worshiped God, saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God forever and ever! Amen.” – Revelation 7:9-12
It wasn’t my time. A few days ago, I turned into a neighborhood street near my house. On a fast errand, I returned on the same street within a couple of minutes max. There across the street was this huge fallen tree! It was a moment for me to think about the reality that a few seconds later entering that street or earlier returning, and my car could have been under that tree.
You can imagine, it gave pause. Thinking of all the times we are slowed down by red lights or long store lines or the distracted driver slowing us down. I believe in angels. How God protects us through these heavenly messengers who don’t make themselves known to us, but who may very well sometimes protect us from all sorts of calamity. I say sometimes, because we all know (and may even be experiencing right now) hard situations that God did not prevent. Yet, He knows and gives grace and works all things out for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).
In the midst of every day life…both magnificent and mundane…God reminds us of Himself and the grandness of this life (and the next, of course). We forget…or we don’t notice…our heads too often down, looking at screens, rather than up and around at the beauty of God and those He places in our lives.
Sunday, our worship team closed out the service at Movement Church with the song Holy Forever. It is a familiar song but hit me different that day. It was a tiny snapshot of what it will be around the throne of God in eternity. All of us, singing, agreeing on the majesty of holy God.
What does it mean that God is holy. Got Questions, an online ministry, answers that question beautifully. Here is an excerpt:
“The holiness of God refers to the unparalleled majesty of His incomparable being and His blameless, faultless, unblemished moral purity (Isaiah 6:1–5; Revelation 4:1–8). Unlike His created beings, God is eternal, preeminent, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. He was, is, and will be before all things. He is ageless, tireless, and faultless. He is beyond full human comprehension. Indeed, our language lacks the superlatives necessary to justly describe Him. Drawn to Him for His unequaled goodness and majesty, the psalmist wrote, “As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God” (Psalm 42:1, ESV). Nothing or no one satisfies like God, for He is altogether lovely to behold. Earthly treasures will pass away, but the Lord is our great reward and inheritance (Joshua 13:33)…God is holy. In Him, there is not even the faintest trace of evil. He is impeccably pure, wholly without fault, and uncompromisingly just. God cannot lie. He cannot make wrong decisions. He is blameless, timeless, and sinless. To the lost the holiness of God is a dreadful matter, but to the redeemed the holiness of God is our greatest good.”
Pastor, writer Scott Savage has written a beautiful review of the song Holy Forever. He references songwriter Chris Tomlin‘s story behind the song. Tomlin wanted to communicate 3 elements, in particular: God’s transcendence, the idea of “eternal worship”, and God’s faithfulness in the face of our failure.
Savage goes on to say:
“If you need a reminder of God’s transcendence in your life, I want to encourage to get into God’s creation. Stargaze, hike, or get out on the water. Put your phone away and get alone, or get with people who will help you connect with God, not distract you from God.
Be quiet before God – really listen for His still, small voice. Read Isaiah 6 and Revelation 4. Listen to the song “Holy Forever” and meditate on the bigness and holiness of God.
When you do, may you find your heart reset and your viewpoints recalibrated in light of the glory, majesty, and transcendence of God.” – Scott Savage
One day, it will be my time…as it will be for all of us. What an amazing grace to stand before the One True God, in the righteousness of our Savior Jesus Christ, and be welcomed Home.
A thousand generations falling down in worship To sing the song of ages to the Lamb And all who’ve gone before us, and all who will believe Will sing the song of ages to the Lamb
Your name is the highest Your name is the greatest Your name stands above them all All thrones and dominions All powers and positions Your name stands above them all
And the angels cry, “Holy” All creations cries, “Holy” You are lifted high, holy Holy forever
If you’ve been forgiven, if you’ve been redeemed Sing the song forever to the Lamb If you walk in freedom, if you bear His name Sing the song forever to the Lamb We’ll sing the song forever and amen
And the angels cry, “Holy” All creations cries, “Holy” You are lifted high, holy Holy forever Hear Your people sing, “Holy” To the King of kings, holy You will always be holy Holy forever
Your name is the highest Your name is the greatest Your name stands above them all All thrones and dominion All powers and positions Your name stands above them all, Jesus Your name is the highest Your name is the greatest Your name stands above them all (Oh, stands above) All thrones and dominions All powers and positions Your name stands above them all
And the angels cry, “Holy” All creations cries, “Holy” You are lifted high, holy Holy forever (We cry, “Holy forever”) Hear Your people sing, “Holy” (We will sing) To the King of kings, (Holy) holy (Holy forever) You will always be holy Holy forever
Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.” – Matthew 16:24
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. – Galatians 2:20
If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His footsteps. – 1 Peter 2:20-21
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities and continue to grow in them, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever lacks these traits is nearsighted to the point of blindness, having forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, brothers, strive to make your calling and election sure. For if you practice these things you will never stumble. – 2 Peter 1:3-10
Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord. – 2 Corinthians 3:17-18
I’m an avid reader of non-fiction. Sometimes, oftentimes, that has included volumes of Christian self-help books. Self-improvement is very much the goal of New Year’s resolutions, and I am still in the thick of those made a few weeks back.
Then, last week, I read a chapter on improvement in Karen Swallow Prior‘s book, The Evangelical Imagination, and it has totally upended my whole understanding of improving my life – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Reading Prior’s book (and this chapter, at the moment) is a wake-up call on how we have taken on culture’s trappings, language, and ethics. Weaving them into our faith, as if they belonged. Such that we as Christians are merely improved humans, rather than the new creations God has made us.
I realize my focus of late has been more self-improvement than sanctification. Why would we want to improve on the self, anyway, since Christ has told us to deny self? It’s not self that I want improved. It’s so much more than that. Sanctification is defined as being set apart. When we come to faith in Christ, we become His, set apart for Himself and for His service. Although we find in Scripture the command to work out our salvation, we must understand that we are not improving on what has already been done for us. Rather, we do what is needful to truly know Christ and to infuse every part of our being with His character. To what end? For His pleasure, for our good, and for the sake of those He places in our lives. For love’s sake.
This kind of work, discipline, habit formation is daily and full of God-shaped challenge. However, the goal is not to improve ourselves, but to become ever more His such that we manifest the very likeness of Christ in our relationships and circumstances. As believers, we aren’t just nice people…we are meant to be warriors on the ready for whatever confronts us or those around us, confident of His power at work in us.
God calls us often to show up as peacemakers, too. To die to self, to refuse to think ill of others, to forgive (over and over at times), and to seek forgiveness when we’ve wronged someone.
Jesus prayed for us to be one with Him and with each other. To extend the fruit of the Spirit He means for the good of those around us. To confront our sin and to put down our idols. Self-improvement is by its nature self-focused…unless…
Unless that working out we’re doing is to benefit others, even more than we are benefited. A self-abandonment. We have someone very close to us who has done a huge work in recent months to be as healthy as he can be. In all areas of his life. Some would call that a massive self-improvement effort, but I know him and I know his heart. He has taken a hard look at his life and made some decisions to stretch himself to love God and his family in deeper ways…rather than escaping into self-serving and escape when his daily work is done. Now could he fall into a lesser pursuit of self-improvement? Sure…we all can, but part of his effort is that sorting out of living the life of a new creation with access to the unfathomable grace, love, and power of God.
I’m just at the start of figuring out this whole “dying to self and living to God” process. It’s so easy for me to choose comfort over sacrifice. To choose my preferences over His. How gracious the Lord is! He celebrates our small victories and does not condemn us when we falter. We are His, indwelt by His Spirit, with Christ Jesus interceding for us in the Heavenlies in this very moment.
This life is not a self-improvement journey for us as believers. It is a practicing the ways of Christ life. Immersing ourselves in His Word to know Him at a heart level, spending time with Him and others, believing Him to live His life through us, ruthlessly dealing with sin and deception in our lives, and then practicing (working out our salvation) His ways until they become our ways.
What joy! And freedom we discover in this Jesus life…a freedom and a hope that is only ours through Christ’s presence and power. Fleshing out His character in our frail lives, being made more and more like Him, as we work out our salvation, in truly knowing Him and being transformed into His likeness across our lifespan.
Let me close with the beautiful commentary below from Bibleref.com:
“In the previous two verses (2 Peter 1:3-4), Peter summarized the enormous benefit we have received in knowing God through faith in Christ. We have been equipped to follow the example of Jesus’ glory and goodness. We’re not missing anything we need to lead the life He calls us to.More, through faith in Jesus, we have been granted the right to participate, right now, in God’s nature. We can partner with Christ in fulfilling God’s purpose on earth. We have been freed from the corruption of sin.
All of that sounds fantastic, but what does it mean for us today? Why does it seem that many Christians are so far away from participating in God’s nature, not living with Christ’s purpose, joy, and love? Why do some continue to live in the sin from whose corruption we’ve supposedly been freed?
This verse gives us a clue. God has given us all we need to live like Jesus, but now we must actually use those gifts. And that means work. Before we had received God’s gift of grace, we lacked both the ability and the desire to live in Jesus’ glory and goodness. Now that we have been empowered to do so, we must “make every effort” to add the following qualities [2 Peter 1:3-10] to, or “alongside,” our faith.
In other words, we must begin to live as if what we believe is really true.
By faith, we came to Christ. Now, with Christ’s power, we must work to add goodness to our faith, and to add knowledge to our goodness. The next two verses (vv. 6 & 7) will explore additional ideas about the chain of traits we as Christians should work to build into our lives.” – Bibleref.com