Category Archives: Transformational

Jesus and Holy Week – Day 7 – Black Saturday – the Silent Tomb

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Photo Credit: Catholiclane.com – Garden Tomb, Jerusalem

[Adapted from the Archives]

This is the morning of exhausted grief. Jesus, the Messiah, God’s Sent One; His Only Son lay dead in a tomb. Dead. How is this possible?

The disciples, his family, those followers whose lives were completely transformed must have been numb with the stark reality that he was not with them…not on that Saturday. What would they do without him? What would happen to them? What? What?…Why?

There is only one scriptural reference to this day and it related to the threat of Jesus’ power and influence, even in death:

The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” Pilate said to them, “You have a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard. – Matthew 27:62-66

For the Jews, days begin and end at sundown. Most probably this visit with Pilate occurred Friday night. At his command, guards were placed. The tomb was sealed. Jesus would be no more trouble…or so they thought, in their ignorance.

He is dead: this man from Nazareth, the Messiah of Israel, the Lord of the world.

With His dying breaths, He spoke words of forgiveness, finality, and faith.

But now the breathing has ceased, and the lungs that exhaled forgiveness are deflated. My Jesus – dead.* – Trevin Wax

Read the rest of his poem here.

[Inserting here a talk done on Good Friday by a friend of ours – her topic was “What does the cross change?” – fitting for today – then after her talk, I will close on Black Saturday.]

“What does the cross change?

“Everything” is perhaps our knee jerk reaction. The cross changes everything. But that can’t be right when we worship an unchanging God. God did not change at the cross. He was perfectly just before the cross and remains perfectly just today and will be perfectly just forever. He was perfectly loving before the cross, he remains perfectly loving, and he will be perfectly loving forever. He was sovereign, is sovereign, and will be sovereign forever. God did not change at the cross. 

I think to see what changed we have to go back much earlier than Jesus’ lifetime. We have to go back to Eden. God created a perfect garden with a man and a woman and plants and animals. It was an oasis, idyllic, peaceful. And by peaceful I don’t mean free from worry or stress. I mean the hearts of Adam and Eve were at peace with God. It’s hard to imagine that. Hard to imagine no shame, fear, uncertainty. Hard to imagine walking and talking with God, completely vulnerable, knowing you were free from any sort of culpability. Adam and Eve were at peace with God, each other, and themselves.

Then they went to war with God. And each of us makes that same decision, to go to war with God, to sin against him and against our nature as image-bearers. We do not choose peace or freedom, we choose war and shame, darkness and loneliness. When I say war I mean we declare that there must be bloodshed. There must be death. Sin is a declaration that we will not live as God intended. God intended perfect peace. He intended that we all walk with Him, unashamed, in the light. We sin and we disrupt that plan. We may not desire the outcome of that sin, which is death, but the outcome is unavoidable.

So Adam and Eve sinned and that perfect peace was shattered and the cross became inevitable. As we read through the Old Testament, the cross feels like it’s in every story. We see God using men and women to foreshadow what is to come, the perfect prophet, priest, judge, shepherd, and king. We read the Old Testament and we see all the plans God set in motion to reach the cross. What we see also is imperfection. Imperfect prophets, judges, shepherds, and kings. Imperfect sacrifices leading to imperfect relationships. God is with His people but they cannot be at peace with him like they were in the Garden. 

So, does the cross take us backward, to Eden? No. There’s no going back to Eden. That’s not the plan. 

The cross is the culmination of the battle that started in Eden. We declared war in the garden and Jesus Christ declared victory at the cross. Oh death, where is your sting? We can ask that because the battle is over. Jesus Christ conquered death and we who believe have the promise of eternal life, starting today.

It’s strange though. It doesn’t feel over. I don’t feel at peace. Not with God, or others, or myself. It feels like the battle is very much ongoing and it often feels like I’m losing. So, what has the cross really changed?

I’m reminded of my favorite passage in the Bible, which is where Jesus is walking on water and Peter calls out to Him and Jesus says come. It’s an amazing story in so many ways but I’m always struck by the fact that Peter sinks and, it seems, is going to drown. Even with Jesus standing right there, standing on water exhibiting power over nature, declaring he is God, Peter is sinking under the waves. Jesus saves him, of course. But I imagine Peter, while grateful, was a bit unnerved by the sinking part. I’m reminded of this story because the reality of this Earth is that, while God is sovereign and He has won the battle over death, we do not live in Eden. We do not live in the new heaven and new Earth. We are waiting for Jesus Christ to return and while we wait, we will struggle. We’ll perhaps almost drown as we try to walk with God. But because of the cross, we will walk as freely as Adam and Eve walked with God. Death no longer has a hold on us.

So, we have victory over death because of the cross, which is our hope for the future. But what do we cling to in this daily battle? What else does the cross give us today?

I’d like to talk about just one thing. 

When God looked at His Son, He was pleased. It’s such an amazing thought. That God looked from heaven at a man and was pleased. Picture it. Jesus is a man on Earth and God looks at him and addresses him and says He is pleased with him. That’s what the cross changes for us. When God looks at you who believe, He does not see your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. He sees you, an individual He created in your mother’s womb whom He has loved from the beginning of time. But instead of your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. And He says, this is my daughter, in whom I am well pleased. This is my son, in whom I am well pleased. Imagine it. The sight of you pleases God. The cross means that we no longer have a broken and distorted relationship with God because we, unlike any person living before the cross, are holy in God’s eyes. No matter how putrid our sin is, no matter how many times we have declared war with God. For those who believe and repent, we can walk in the light, free from the burden of our sin. Like Adam and Eve, we walk with God in peace. Like Jesus, God looks at us and is pleased. I pray you can feel that today. Feel that God knows you, knows your name and your face and sees you and is as pleased to see you as He is to see His own Son. Not because you’re obedient or you are bursting with the fruit of the spirit. To believe that your good deeds can make up for putting Jesus Christ on the cross with your sin is folly. Our sin led to the death of God’s one and only begotten Son. We cannot make up for that with our good behavior. To try and do so is to deny Christ’s sacrifice. 

The cross takes that burden away and replaces it with freedom. We are free to walk in peace with God and to know and feel that God is pleased with us because of the cross.

So what does the cross change? Us.”Amanda, Good Friday reading, Sideris Church

We have the great knowledge of the risen Christ, but his followers, on that Saturday, only had dim recollection of his words of promise. Shrouded in grief, they found themselves quite “in between” – in between the death of their Savior and the life of his glorious promises.

Another dear friend of ours, Beth, shared this message by John Ortberg from a conference where he spoke on Black Saturday, well, “Saturdays” in general. He describes so well this day in between.

“Saturday – the day between the crucifixion and the resurrection. What do you think the disciples were doing on Saturday? Here they have seen their friend and their Master killed the day before but also have this vague promise, which probably seemed ludicrous at the time that he would rise again. Most of life is Saturday…It`s waiting in faith and hanging onto the promise that God is going to come through for us in spite of how bad things look. Most of life is Saturday. — I don`t know where you are this Holy Week. Maybe you`re in a Palm Sunday kind of mood wanting God to get on board with an agenda and maybe he will, but if he doesn’t, know that his plans are always good…Maundy Thursday means that God loves us no matter how dirty our uniform gets from the game of life. Maybe you`re in a Saturday kind of place – between a hard time and a promise you only half believe. Know this for sure that God`s Easter irony is still at work, and he can use even the worst tragedies for good, and he always has at least one more move left. No matter how bleak and dark Saturday gets, Sunday`s coming, and it`s coming sooner than you think. “John Ortberg

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Saturday is the “in between day”. Did those who loved Jesus most remember this? Was their grief so consuming, so deafening to His promises, so numbing there was no room for hope? We have the great experience of knowing, for sure, that Sunday is coming!

Today is the waiting day.

We wait like schoolchildren for the final bell.

We wait with tapping foot, huffing breath, rolling eyes.

We wait like a mother for the gushing of birth water.

We wait like branches holding pink petaled secrets.

We wait with tears of frustration or eyes filled with anger.

We wait with tears of joy or eyes wide with wonder.

In the waiting rooms of life, our hope is mixed, our longings more so. But still, we wait. Forgive us for our impatience, Lord. We believe, help our unbelief.

We carry the sorrow of loss even as we hold on to hope of gain. We watch and we wait for your resurrection life. Even though we may not see the evidence, we wait with hope.

Because today is the waiting day.  Emily P. Freeman

The Day Jesus Stayed Dead – Waiting in the Heartache of Holy Saturday – Gerrit Scott Dawson, Desiring God

YouTube Video of John Ortberg on “Saturdays” – American Association of Christian Counselors Conference, October 2011 – So good!!! (starting 5 minutes in)

*My Jesus – Dead by Trevin Wax

On This Holy Saturday: Here at the End of All Things (Triduum Series) – Tea with Tolkien

YouTube Video – Jesus Paid It All (lyric video) – Fernando Ortega

YouTube Video – How Deep the Father’s Love For Us written by Stuart Townend – with David Wesley

YouTube Video with lyrics – In Christ Alone  written by Stuart Townend & Keith Getty

Jesus and Holy Week – Day 3 – Tuesday – Long Day Teaching & Countering Religious Opposition

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Adapted from the Archives]

When He [Jesus] entered the temple, the chief priests and the elders of the people came to Him while He was teaching, and said, “By what authority are You doing these things, and who gave You this authority?”Matthew 21:23

On this long day, Jesus would demonstrate in one situation after another that he spoke and acted with the authority of God Himself. The barren fig tree cursed by Jesus the day before had indeed withered and died. The disciples saw it themselves that morning as they walked again from Bethany to Jerusalem. Jesus spoke to them of faith, which they would need all the more in the days ahead (Matthew 21:21-22).

Again and again…in Jerusalem, in the Temple, and on the busy streets during Passover, Jesus was confronted by the religious leaders.

It’s amazing that he even gained entry to the Temple after overturning the market there just the day before. Again, another sign of his authority. He was untouchable, until he gave himself over to his own death on the cross…for us.

The religious leaders were determined to trap him in some sort of blasphemous teaching or interpretation of the law. It would not happen, yet they were set on his destruction one way or another.

In an attempt to test Jesus’ understanding of the law, a legal advisor to the Pharisees asked Jesus what was the greatest commandment in the law. The Pharisees cautioned strict adherence to the laws of the Torah, all 613 of them! They were not prepared for Jesus’ response:

Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘Hear, O Israel! The Lord our God is One Lord; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” –   Mark 12:29-31

Two commands: 1) Love God with your whole being; 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. Some might say that a third is presumed in that you must love yourself in a right and wholesome way in order to truly love others.

Jesus’ love for the Father and his love for all people were in perfect unity. Loving God, with all we are, gives us perspective and capacity to love those around us, whomever they are, as we have experienced love ourselves, from the God who loves us perfectly and completely.

The Pharisees, Sadducees, and other Jewish leaders grew more angry at Jesus and were vexed as to how to destroy his popularity and influence with the masses of Jews loyal to him. All their trickery failed this time. Jesus was not intimidated by them, and, in fact, spoke some of his strongest words against them while teaching that day.

His 8 “woe to you” pronouncements against the Pharisees are listed at the bottom of this page. When I read them, the song from the original Godspell film comes to mind as the Jesus character stands against the religious “machine” of his day – those “hypocrites”, those “blind guides” of the people.

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Finally, leaving Jerusalem that day, Jesus stopped on the Mount of Olives (Olivet) to speak about the future. He talked at length, to his disciples and all those who followed, about the end times. He warned them about false teachers and the evil that would rise up in those last days. What it must have been to listen to Jesus, the Messiah, on that Tuesday – filled with a mixture of faith in him and fear of what could lie ahead for them, and the generations to come.

When Jesus and his disciples returned for the evening to Bethany, Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, stole away and met with Jesus’ enemies. [Matthew 26:14-16] In the dark of night, he would betray Jesus to them. He acted as a coward, away from the crowds who would have strongly objected…

For 30 pieces of silver, Judas would seemingly take history into his own hands, but the clock was already ticking, and Jesus would finish what he came to earth to do.

Postscript:

8 “Woe’s” Spoken by Jesus Against the Pharisees (Matthew 23:13-30)

1- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you shut up the kingdom of Heaven against men.

2- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you devour widows’ houses, and pray at length as a pretense.

3– Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.

4- Woe to you, blind guides, who say, “Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple, he is obliged to perform it.”

5- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith.

6- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence.

7- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness.

8- Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, and say, “If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.”*

The Final Days of Jesus – Andreas J. Kostenberger & Justin Taylor

YouTube video Alas for You from the original film Godspell

Spotify Playlist – From Palm Sunday to the Resurrection – Beth Wayland

The Way of Jesus #2: Unsettling the Religious Status Quo – James Nored & Phil Ware

Reasoning Why Jesus Cursed the Fig Tree – Sam Shamoun

Jesus and the Pharisees

*8 Woes Upon the Pharisees – Curtis Kittrell

Great Texts of the Bible – The Two Commandments – commentary by James Hastings

Worship Wednesday – Christ Be Magnified – Cody Carnes

Photo Credit: Derek Charles Johnson

For you shall go out in joy 
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and the hills before you
shall break forth into singing,
and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.Isaiah 55:12

And some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, rebuke Your disciples.”  He answered, “I tell you, if these were silent, the very stones would cry out.”  Luke 19:39-40

To the King of the ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:17

Therefore, since we are receiving an unshakable kingdom, let us be filled with gratitude, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe. Hebrews 12:28

The old hymns of my childhood are among my favorite worship songs. Too many to list here. It’s rare to hear them these days which makes me a bit sad. We sing them at home, and that is a comfort. Then during my children’s growing up years, we enjoyed a resurgence of hymns – more modern melodies but with rich theology – In Christ Alone and Be Thou My Vision are two of those our whole family still knows the lyrics by heart.

One such worship song, released in 2020, is becoming a new favorite. Christ Be Magnified. The music is easy to engage, and the lyrics are deep and convicting. Written by songwriters who clearly know Christ, love to worship the Lord, and are strongly motivated to bring others along with them in worship.

“Christ Be Magnified” written by Ethan Gregory Hulse, Cody Carnes, and Cory Asbury

This year, three international holidays overlapped yesterday and today – the Lunar New Year, Ramadan, and Lent. This is highly unusual. It is a reminder for all of us of the many, diverse peoples around the world. I have friends celebrating all three holidays. I love and respect them, but the only one I can really celebrate is Lent, a fast that marks a countdown to Easter (the celebration of the resurrection of Christ).

One dear, dear friend of mine years ago asked me why couldn’t I join her faith. I loved her heart that day and still do. We talked about many things in answer to her question, but the bottom line was Jesus. I could not leave Jesus. No way. In fact, even on my darkest days when God seems silent…there is nowhere else for me to go. I remain, knowing He is there (even in silence), because He promised He would be.

Winter is fading where we live, and the first flowering plants have pushed through the soil. As Scripture reminds us, all of nature points to the Creator, even in this broken world. Christ is to be magnified…and we add our human voices.

Worship with me.

[Verse 1]
Were creation suddenly articulate
With a thousand tongues to lift one cry
Then from north to south and east to west
We’d hear ‘Christ be magnified!’

[Verse 2]
Were the whole earth echoing His eminence
His name would burst from sea and sky
From rivers to the mountain tops
We’d hear ‘Christ be magnified!’

[Chorus]
O! Christ be magnified!
Let His praise arise
Christ be magnified in me
O! Christ be magnified!
From the altar of my life
Christ be magnified in me

[Verse 3]
When every creature finds its inmost melody
And every human heart its native cry
O then in one enraptured hymn of praise
We’ll sing ‘Christ be magnified!’
O be lifted high, Jesus

[Chorus]
O! Christ be magnified!
Let His praise arise
Christ be magnified in me
O! Christ be magnified!
From the altar of my life
Christ be magnified in me

[Bridge]

I won’t bow to idols, I’ll stand strong and worship You
And if it puts me in the fire, I’ll rejoice ’cause You’re there too
I won’t be formed by feelings, I hold fast to what is true
If the cross brings transformation then I’ll be crucified with You
‘Cause death is just the doorway into resurrection life
And if I join You in Your suffering then I’ll join You when You rise
And when You return in glory with all the angels and the saints
My heart will still be singing and my song will be the same

[Chorus]
O! Christ be magnified!
Let His praise arise
Christ be magnified in me
O! Christ be magnified!
From the altar of my life
Christ be magnified in me.*

Singer/songwriter Derek Charles Johnson writes beautifully about this worship song, and I’d like to close with his thoughts:

“It’s the song’s bridge that takes it up another notch.  Really this is the part that broke me and the part in which, when first singing it, I had to do a gut check.  Because the verses are not easy Christianity.  They don’t reflect a soft, watered-down Gospel.  It’s an all-or-nothing faith and in that faith, I’m choosing each day to walk a narrow road that Jesus calls me to.  Read these lyrics again:  

I won’t bow to idols, I’ll stand strong and worship You
And if it puts me in the fire, I’ll rejoice ’cause You’re there too
I won’t be formed by feelings, I’ll hold fast to what is true
If the cross brings transformation I’ll be crucified with You
‘Cause death is just a doorway into resurrection life
If I join You in Your sufferings, then I’ll join You when You rise
And when You return in glory with all the angels and the saints
My heart will still be singing, my song will be the same

In the bridge is the response to “Christ be magnified in me” and really the “how” of what that looks like.  I won’t bow down to the culture.  If that means rejection, so be it.  I won’t trust my feelings.  They are fleeting and change day by day.  I’ll crucify my life and my flesh so I am conformed into Jesus’ image.  And here’s the really tough part but the part we cannot ignore (especially as the tide is shifting against Christians):  I’ll willingly lay down my life because death brings me into eternity with Him.  I’ll suffer for His name.  I’ll be ready for His return.  At the end of it all, I’ll still be singing Christ be magnified!Hallelujah! 

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21Derek Charles Johnson

[Postscript: Posting late. Thursday evening, I was at church in a women’s Bible study. We were talking about how important it is to turn off distractions and to learn to be silent before the Lord. Listening, waiting, adoring. Just beyond where we met, the worship team was practicing their set for this coming Sunday. They were singing/playing “Christ Be Magnified” and “Abide” (see below) in the sanctuary. Sweetly “breaking into” our discussion. We, this small group of women, sat in a circle pondering the beautiful Savior we have in Christ Jesus…calling us to Himself…to abide in Him…and we worshiped. Oh that we would magnify Him…taking in the expansive nature of His character, His power, His love.

*Lyrics to “Christ Be Magnified” – Songwriters: Ethan Gregory Hulse, Cody Carnes, Cory Asbury

More Than a Song – Christ Be Magnified by Cody Carnes – Derek Charles Johnson

Is “Christ Be Glorified” Biblical? – The Berean Test – Vince Wright

God is so good to us. He deserves our worship in every stage and situation of our lives. [I loved how “The Blessing” below was a great comfort to us all world-wide during the COVID epidemic.]

Worship Wednesday – The Jesus Way – Phil Wickham

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” – John 14:6

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross. Philippians 2:5-8

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

I will always be grateful for Bernie Cantrell. She loved me enough to tell me the truth.

In my 20s, I had fallen in love with a fellow college student, and we dated into his medical school years. Much of it long-distance and all of it out of God’s will for my life. I had allowed myself to be deceived that him being Jewish and me being Christian melded together two of God’s chosen people. Great spiritualizing, right? His mother wouldn’t think so nor did mine. Not sure about his mom, but mine prayed.

Late in our relationship, I remember vividly a night at my women’s discipleship group, all of us sitting on the floor with our Bibles open, in Bernie Cantrell’s living room. They knew about my relationship with this young man. They knew also that my heart was sincere toward the Lord as well. This is what deception can do…you can be fixed on the way of the Jesus but your eyes can blur from misplaced desires, and, before you know it, you find yourself in a ditch.

I don’t remember if we were in John 14 that night, or if it became a kairos moment when Bernie felt the time was right to talk openly and directly to me about my relationship with this young man. She pointed me to the verse:

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” – John 14:6

That night, as she discipled me (all of us) on Jesus being the Way and only in walking in His way will we find Home, the Holy Spirit grabbed my heart. Shortly after that, both this boy and I mutually severed our relationship. Done deal. Full stop. No looking back.

Now there have been other times in life, when I was tempted to choose my way instead of God’s way for me. Seasons when life was hard and I even questioned my salvation (that season was the one of parenting small children – physically exhausting and emotionally overwhelming at times). There were hard seasons when entitlement raised his ugly head and when offenses made me blind with hurt and anger that God’s Word seemed too far out of reach…or beyond my sense of fairness. Misplaced desires.

These days (in our country and occasionally seeping into our church life), we are bombarded by the push and pull of political ideology, cultural swagger, family estrangement, and the sense that God is far away.

Truth: God is NOT far away. We have been drawn off course, but He is as near as a Shepherd’s voice. He is just ahead. His way can be ours again.

I am so thankful for the truth of Scripture. So thankful for friends and family who point me back to Christ when I get distracted or discouraged. So thankful for opportunities when the Lord allows for me to point sweet ones to the way of Jesus.

God tells us that His way is different (higher) than the one we, in our sinful bent, would naturally take. However, when we surrender our lives to Jesus as Lord and Savior, we don’t have to be bound to another way anymore. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can walk in His way. We bear the fruits of the Spirit in this world…on this path. What an amazing life we have, reflecting the humility, mercy, and love that Jesus displayed. How much it profits those around us! How much it pleases God the Father! Sometimes it’s me as “the least of these”…staying on the way of Jesus benefits me the most. No more twisted in the wind of Satan’s lies about me and about others.

The King will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers or sisters, you did it to me.”Matthew 25:40

This past Sunday, on an icy day from his office, Pastor Cliff preached on loving our enemies from Matthew 5:43-48. So good! In the worship play list for that morning, our worship leader Ryan included the Phil Wickham song The Jesus Way.

This song has replayed in my mind all week. Jesus’ way is not the way of this world. It is so beautiful and so worth our lives to point in this direction. To walk in His way daily “tapping into a reservoir that is not of this world but for this world” (from Cliff’s message). For our sakes, our neighbors, our children and grandchildren, and our enemies.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship with me.

[Verse 1]
If you curse me, then I will bless you
If you hurt me, I will forgive
And if you hate me, then I will love you
I choose the Jesus way
Oh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Verse 2]
If you’re helpless, I will defend you (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
If you’re burdened, I’ll share the weight (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And if you’re hopeless, then let me show you (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
There’s hope in the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Verse 3]
If you strike me, I will embrace you
And if you chain me, I’ll sing His praise
And if you kill me, my home is Heaven
For I choose the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Bridge]
And I choose surrender, I choose to love
Oh God, my Savior, You’ll always be enough
I choose forgiveness, I choose grace
I choose to worship, no matter what I face
I choose the Jesus way, I choose the Jesus way
I choose the Jesus way, I choose the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Outro]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh*

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21

The Jesus Way – Lyrics – Songwriters: Phil Wickham & Jonathan Smith

Faith Behind the Song: “The Jesus Way” – Phil Wickham – by Scott Savage

Practicing the Way – Course & Free Resources on Spiritual Formation

Worship Wednesday – For Christ-Followers – It’s Surrender – Not Self-Improvement – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – First Things First – With Consumed by Fire – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Loving Well, Hating Well

Photo Credit: Destiny City, Don Vess

But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.Luke 6:27-28

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.Ephesians 4:31-32

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. Proverbs 6:16-19

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.”Romans 12:17-19

Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.1 Peter 3:8-9

The beginning of this year in the US has been marked with violence in the streets and clashes with federal agents. Social and news media posts are daily filled with critiques of one group of people vs. another one. Whole people groups. Division is high. Fingers pointed. Disdain fueled by distancing. Even Christians against Christians…sadly.

Writer, theologian Trevin Wax posted a blog this past week on something I’d never heard of before – censoriousness. It is defined as “the state of being censorious, which means having a tendency to blame, criticize, or condemn others. It often involves a habit of finding fault and reproaching others for their actions or opinions.”

How to Deal with a Censorious Spirit – Trevin Wax (really excellent read)

In John Bevere‘s book The Bait of Satan, he teaches on how to respond when we are treated unfairly. Our temptation is to react when someone berates or condemns us. We don’t feel understood. The same applies to those toward whom we express contempt. There is always more to the story. The saying “Two things can be true” is applied. Issues brewing in our country are not so simple as one side against another. The causes are multi-layered and complex. Oh for the simple to reign…and in God’s Word, He breaks down the complex. We are to pray for those in opposition to us (and vice versa). We are to be curious and seek understanding. We are not to allow the world and its evil to divide us. We are to remember that God is in control, and it is His prerogative to judge and make things right.

Photo Credit: Charles Brent, Heartlight

Clinical psychologist, leadership expert Dr. Henry Cloud’s describes how to hate well in his small and fascinating book 9 Things a Leader Must Do. He is wise and succinct on all the topics of this book but especially on hating well, and I quote him here:

“Hate is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person’s character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, what we care about…Basically, we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. You can tell a lot about people by what they love…[and] by what they hate…You can depend on people who…hate arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people. [the things that God hates – Proverbs 6:16-19]…The first thing that hate does for us is to help us move against certain traits and issues, thus becoming different from them…The second way hate benefits us is that it causes us to protect what we value…The third way that hate is a good thing is the flip side of protection. Hate moves us to destroy bad things, which are often the things that threaten the good. [However] Unsuccessful leaders hate in ways that solve problems as opposed to creating problems…The difference between leaders who hate well and those who hate destructively lies in the difference between two kinds of hate: subjective and objective. Subjective anger [hate] blasts other people, causes overreactions, dissensions, inability to resolve conflict, broken relationships…Make the subjective hatred objective. Transform it to the kind of hate that solves problems, protects things that you value, and stands against the things that you do not want in your life and work…[he/she] shows up with integrated character. When he brings hate, he brings love as well…and respect, kindness, and forgiveness [taking] a hard stand on a touch issue but remaining loving and kind in the process.” – Dr. Henry Cloud, 9 Things a Leader Must Do – pp. 73-83

In hating well, the focus is on unrighteous acts not on the offenders. It’s not personal. Hating well treats all people as God’s image-bearers. He says repeatedly in His Word that He will avenge, He will make right, He will repay. Because He is without sin, He alone knows just how far to go for the sake of redemption. Our own “righteous anger” moves to sin so quickly because the subjective nature of the offense catapults us to hatred, and not in a good way.

Using the name of Jesus to justify mistreatment of image bearers – Instagram post – Kendra Leeanne Kuntz

I was reminded on a zoom call earlier this week that we are one body with many members – some of us are gifted by the Holy Spirit to speak out against evil, others of us are more the encouragers and mercy-givers, still others serve both the church and those experiencing hardship in the world, and still others point us to the Scripture to make sure we believe what God says and not just what we want to believe He says…

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has give you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and not all members have the same function, so in Christ we who are many are one body, and each member belongs to one another. Romans 12:3-5

God calls us to love well (following the example of the Godhead) and to hate well…the same. Only He is the One without sin. He alone can move our hearts to love as He loves and hate as He hates.

Photo Credit: John Stott, Heartlight

Monday Moment Morning – How Can We Keep From Hating? – Deb Mills

Monday Moment Morning – How Can We Keep From Hating?

Photo Credit: Heartlight

This weekend, we in the State of Virginia had our governor’s inauguration. It was another occasion of either relief and elation or concern and consternation. Our state and nation remains polarized in so many ways.

Can we disagree politically, philosophically, or ideologically…without hating each other?

We are in a season of hating or aligning with whole people groups. Maybe, in all of history, we have such seasons. A season where, if we aren’t careful, we hate a whole group of people or we love that same group, thereby putting us in grave opposition to the “haters”. At least, the news and social media platforms are telling us this is the case.

Whole people groups – be they Somalis, Afghans, Republicans, Democrats, Jews, Evangelical Christians. Whole people groups.

How can we keep from hating?

Maybe an even more core question: do we even want to keep from hating? What do we think is gained by hating another or a group of others?

Oddly, hating people can feel good. We feel justified in hating. Even morally superior. The dilemma here is that hating begets hating. Neuroplasticity is the process in our brain where negative thoughts, and resulting actions, become hard-wired, having a negative impact on our physical and mental health over time.

The Neuroscience of Hate: Why It Feels Good to Be Angry

The Power of Hate and Its Consequences – Andrew Mathews

I don’t want to simplify or downplay the reasons one might have to hate, but the devastating effects of it in our culture, community, families (and in our own brains) are worth taking a step back and considering.

Briefly, here are some actions to consider:

  1. Call to mind the possibility that I hate someone/some peoples. “Check your heart” is a common refrain in my life. If I’m honest, are there persons/people whose actions, or personalities, offend me? Do my speech and attitude betray my hatred? Does this hatred feel justified? If so, do I give myself a pass for feeling such a strong negative emotion?
  2. Consider what is below the surface of my hatred. Do I consider what I feel to be righteous anger? Is it righteous if it moves me toward hatred? In defending the rights of one group of people against another, am I committing the same injustice toward “the offending group” as I see being directed to the one I care more about? Or is fear what stirs me to hate? Or unfairness? We can have any number of reasons to hate. Addressing those reasons (with help, if necessary), brings our hatred more into the light. It doesn’t mean that we don’t seek change in the culture, but with greater care, compassion, and even empathy.
  3. Seek understanding by leaning in to persons whose groups we are tempted to hate. Real, flesh-and-blood, face-to-face conversations can soften our tendency to hate. Asking questions, listening with care, resisting the temptation to argue, leaving the door open for understanding. This is a huge step toward stopping the hate. For those who pray, beginning to pray for that person can grease the tracks for you to love them – pray for her/his needs to be met, for protection and peace, for paths forward that don’t further divide us.

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy, Margaret Walker

8 Ideas for Managing Hatred – Michael Karson, Ph.D., J.D. – Psychology Today

4. Recognize that hating what is evil is different than hating people. Hatred dehumanizes people. Remember the persons with whom we disagree have children, parents, jobs, their own hopes, fears and strivings – just like us. They may even have a faith similar to ours…but the issue has overcome us/them and has pushed itself into paramount position. Extinguishing civility. We may actually agree on a wrong, if we acknowledge that we’re all trying to sort out the right path forward.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

5. For those of us who are believers, we have no leave to hate. For Christians, we are called by Christ Jesus to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). When hating becomes a habit, especially of a particular people group, we lose our way. Thinking it is almost our duty to hate. We have to guard against self-deceit.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Peter D. Kaufman, brilliant and highly successful businessman, gives wise counsel in this for all of us: “Go positive and go first, and be constant in doing it.” Determine to love, resist hating, don’t wait for the other person, and in every conversation and encounter, be constant in this effort.

The Multi-disciplinary Approach to Thinking – Peter Kaufman

Young businessman, world-changer Mitchell Wilson recalls Kaufman’s use of the phrase mirrored reciprocation. How this applies is when we engage others with love, listening as we seek understanding, being gentle where we disagree, we often get the same responses in return.

Wilson writes: “Peter doesn’t go into this in his speech [above], but I can’t help but think of Jesus’s core teachings that relate to the principle of mirrored reciprocation:

  • Love your neighbor as yourself
  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
  • Forgive those who trespass against you
  • Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy
  • Turn the other cheek”

Mirrored Reciprocation: Peter Kaufman’s Profoundly Simple Insight That Helps You Achieve An Enjoyable Life | Blog

6. Don’t give up on developing the habit of loving instead of hating. This is definitely a spiritual disciple and a habit worthy of pursuing. Peter Kaufman also has counsel, from his talk above The most powerful force that could be potentially harnessed is dogged incremental constant progress over a very long time frame. We are going to have to fight against hating, especially if we have allowed it to take up real estate in our minds. However, as with anything worth mastering, the work needed to keep from hating will yield its fruit…if we don’t give up.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

[This blog was inspired by recent, terrible events in our country and also by the sermon at Movement Church yesterday. Our pastor Cliff unpacked Matthew 5:38-42 (YouTube video linked; image below) about showing radical love by resisting retaliation. Can’t wait for his sermon next week on “Love your Enemies” which may end up inspiring a Part 2 on this topic. Hope you stay with me for that one.]

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship Wednesday – Make Room – The Church Will Sing

Photo Credit: Heartlight

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, which are based on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ.…When you were dead in your trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our trespasses, having canceled the debt ascribed to us in the decrees that stood against us. He took it away, nailing it to the cross! And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.”Colossians 2:8, 13-14

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.James 4:7-8

“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21

Last night, a small group of women gathered in a dimly light room in a church in Richmond. I was there. Just down the hall an Alcohol Anonymous meeting was also being held. In the quiet of that space, the Lord came close.

We had been prompted earlier in the day by the young woman who spearheaded this prayer force that we would spend part of the evening in confession and repentance. It put me to thinking on what in my life needed confessing and repented of.

We each poured our hearts out to a faithful Father, who is ever ready to forgive, restore, and empower us to walk the way of Christ. My confessions centered on the struggle with keeping my eyes on Him and trusting Him in the complications of life. I confessed a lack of love and a timidity that keeps me from sharing Christ. I also prayed against the things that stand in the way of my focusing on Him, of surrendering wholly to Him. Those idols and counterfeit gods that steal us away from being near to the Lord.

It was a tender time of prayer, talking to God and listening to these other precious women doing the same. We prayed beyond our own need for forgiveness but also for our neighbors and our nation. For the world. For those in our lives most vulnerable to Satan’s arrows in hard marriages and hospital beds.

We sang a song together as part of our gathering. This time I didn’t know the song, but it was perfect for our time together. It was Make Room by a group called The Church Will Sing. In a way it is audacious that we have to “make room” for the Creator of this world to do what He wants to do in our lives. Yet, He doesn’t push in. He is close but waits for us to open the door to our hearts for Him to come in and change everything! Hallelujah!

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship with me:

[Verse 1]
Here is where I lay it down
Every burden, every crown
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, oh

[Verse 1]
Here is where I lay it down
Every burden, every crown
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, Jesus
And I will make room for You, for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Oh, I will make room for You, Jesus
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Oh, I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, Jesus

[Spontaneous]
Have Your way, have Your way, Jesus, oh
We surrender all, we surrender all, Jesus
Have Your way, Jesus, have Your way, Jesus

[Bridge]
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better
Oh, Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better, Jesus
Oh, Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better, Jesus
Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better
Oh, Your way is better

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, oh

[Verse 2]
Here is where I lay it down
You are all I’m chasing now
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
You are all I’m chasing now
This is my surrender
This is my surrender*

*Lyrics to “Make Room” – Songwriters: Josh Farro, Evelyn Heideriqui, Lucas Cortazio & Rebekah White

Make Room – Behind the Lyrics – Malia Rogers

P.S. Below you will find two other songs I discovered with the titles “Make Room”. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: YouTube, Jonathan McReynolds – Make Room

YouTube Video – Jonathan McReynolds – Make Room [Lyric Video]

Make Room – Jonathan McReynolds – Daniel Ploof

Make Room – A Devo by Mark Hall From Casting Crowns

Worship Wednesday – Still Waters – Leanna Crawford

Photo Credit: LoveThisPic

A Psalm Of David
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet (still) waters,
3 he refreshes my soul, He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalm 23

My husband rarely travels for work these days, but this week he’s been away. He’s back today, but when he is away, the house is unusually quiet. Especially at night. Now for some of you, this is a common experience. Being just you at home in the dark of night. For me, for now, it is still a wrestling.

As I turn off the lights and lock everything up, settling into bed and the quiet, this old house seems to wake up. With all kinds of little creaking noises. What they do is stir up in my mind all the thoughts.

Life is like that. Get quiet and then intrusive thoughts get loud.

For many months, I’ve had an early morning practice, on waking, of quoting the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23. It’s a habit that kick-starts my day-before grabbing my phone or drinking that cup of coffee. This week, I’ve been going to bed also with Psalm 23 on my heart.

Then one day in the car, I heard singer, songwriter Leanna Crawford‘s version, and it has been on repeat this week. “Still Waters” is such a beautiful anthem to the kindness and gentleness of our Shepherd God.

A noisy old house at night is nothing compared to the noisy, fear-mongering world we find ourselves. Worse is the battle in our over-thinking minds. Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder of what is true – that God is our Shepherd, and even in “the shadow of death” or “the presence of enemies”, He is with us, arming us with the reality of who we are as HIS.

The bridge of this song captures the essence of His kind presence in whatever situation we find ourselves:

Still waters run through
Any valley I could find
I’m laying fear down
Here at Heaven’s riverside
Your word has been true
In every season of my life
I believe, yes I believe.

Worship with me.

Great Aunt Maurine said at a hundred and three
Write scripture on your heart for when you need it
Cause anxiety hates Psalm 23
So just say it to yourself ’til you believe it
And I’m feeling like I’m needing it right now

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
O I know You are with me
My father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters I’m safe

Lord I believe You can set me at ease
Turn this broken piece in me to peace and quiet
I know there’s power in Your word
So I’ll say it over and over til my soul’s reminded

Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
O I know You are with me
My Father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters I’m safe

Still waters run through
Any valley I could find
I’m laying fear down
Here at Heaven’s riverside
Your word has been true
In every season of my life
I believe, yes I believe
Still waters run through
Any valley I could find
I’m laying fear down
Here at Heaven’s riverside
Your word has been true
In every season of my life
I believe, yes I believe

Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want
He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
O I know You are with me
My Father, my friend
Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days
I know by Your still waters I’m safe*

*Lyrics to “Still Waters” – Songwriter(s): Justin Richards, Jonathan Gamble, Leanna Crawford

The Story Behind “Still Waters” with PNW Native, Leanna Crawford – Erica Parkerson

Leanna Crawford

The Beautiful Meaning of Psalm 23 Explained Verse by Verse – Jeffery Curtis Poor

Photo Credit: Jeffery Curtis Poor

Monday Morning Moment – Released – The Incredible Life of Corrie Ten Boom

Earlier today a miracle happened. The last Israeli hostages were released from Gaza. Twenty of them. Released! Israel also released almost 2000 Palestinian prisoners. Released! Hopefully the cease-fire on both sides will continue, and the Middle East can settle into a much-needed peace.

Also today, I finished reading a book my daughter had long been encouraging me to read. We actually gave each other a book to read. I gave her eye-opening book Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. She gave me The Hiding Place – The Triumphant True Story of Corrie Ten Boom (with John and Elizabeth Sherrill). I had seen the movie of Corrie Ten Boom‘s life years ago (also entitled The Hiding Place, 1975). It was riveting then, and this book’s story in her own words was even more so.

Photo Credit: Amazon

The Ten Boom’s were a devoutly Christian family in Holland, and much of the story takes place around the events of World War II. Nazi Germany was making its move to gain power across Europe and was particularly targeting Jews, their own and other nationalities, and Jewish sympathizers. The Ten Boom’s began hiding Jews and developed an effective but dangerous underground to secret them away to safer places. The family’s activities were eventually found out and they were imprisoned. Corrie’s brother Willem and sister Nollie only briefly, but Corrie’s father and sister Betsie were held. Their father would die after a brief time of incarceration. Betsie was Corrie’s older sister. They never married and poured their lives into caring for others.

The notorious German concentration camp, Ravensbrück, would be their “home” for too long. Over 130,000 women would be held there, and over 60,000 died (some in the gas chambers). The conditions were horrific. Corrie and Betsie, by God’s grace, managed to hold onto a Bible during their prison time. When they weren’t laboring long hours, they prayed and encouraged the other women in their barracks. Betsie had enormous faith and a tender heart, even toward their tormentors. She prayed for both prisoners and guards. Corrie struggled more in her faith, angry with their treatment, especially because Betsie was physically weak from a long-term illness. Corrie would learn greater forgiveness and love during their unfathomable time together in the camp.

Finally, Betsie would die in captivity. Corrie would continue on, taking more responsibility in caring for the women around her. Early on in their time at Ravensbrück, Betsie reminded Corrie that God called them to be thankful in all circumstances, not just in lovely ones. Corrie couldn’t thank God for the fleas which infested their quarters. Later, Betsie observed that the guards rarely entered their barracks BECAUSE of the fleas, so they were free to have times of prayer and study. This was not wasted on Corrie as she began to see God at work in all their circumstances…and she gave thanks.

I’m going to leave the rest of the story for you to discover in reading about her life…or watching the movie (movies – others have been made since the first one).

Obviously, Corrie survived her captivity and was released toward the end of 1944 (12 days after Betsie died). Her life continued for almost 40 years, and she was able to see the fruit of Betsie’s visions for the future. It is an incredible story – loss turned to glory.

In rejoicing over the long-awaited release of the Israeli hostages and concurrent release of Palestinian prisoners (also celebrated by their families), we are struck by the enormous experience of being “released”.

For Corrie, and for all of us, the release of bitterness as we forgive and God’s work in our hearts to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:43).

Photo Credit: Corrie Ten Boom, Facebook

Photo Credit: Corrie Ten Boom, Facebook

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy

The Ten Boom Family

Return to the Hiding Place – sequel to The Hiding Place film

The Hiding Place – 2023 Remake

Monday Morning Moment – Don’t Let Complaining Rewire Your Brain

Photo Credit: Stream

Yesterday, I was taking a break and scrolled through Instagram until it stopped me in my tracks on how complaining can have a chronic negative impact on our health, and, in particular, on our brain. That didn’t surprise me, but I wanted to look further to test out what this influencer was reporting. You can look, too. Do an internet search on “complaining, cortisol, and the brain”. It is startling, but, again, not surprising.

Complaining is extraordinarily detrimental to brain health. In a way, it is also like “second-hand smoke” to those with whom you share it. When we complain, our brain responds by releasing cortisol. We need cortisol, the “stress” hormone, to alert us to possible danger and to stimulate an appropriate (hopefully) response to that danger. The problem with complaining is that it puts stress on a loud speaker when there was no need. Similar to how trauma rewires our brain to expect more trauma.

Why Complaining Is Bad For Your Health – Cindy Tsai, MD

Venting feels good at the moment. It releases the internal pressure that is mentally building up from negative thinking. The dilemma with venting is two-fold – 1) it cements the wiring in the brain in the direction of negative, hopeless thinking, and 2) it activates/re-activates the same process in the caring hearer. Mind you, there is a positive, healthy venting that can take place if it is focused toward hopeful problem-solving and change. This can be life-giving to both persons.

[Side note: We need each other. We were made for community. Talking something out with people who love us is hugely important. There is a difference in lament and grumbling, or complaining and and acknowledging a hard thing, seeking help for forward movement.]

Complaining Won’t Change the World, But Your Actions Can – Susanna Wu-Pong Calvert Ph.D., MAPP, RPh

As one who is getting older and feeling the memory not as sharp and the tendency toward that “cup half empty”, curmudgeonly take on things…I wonder: when and how did it start?

When does analytical become contrarian? When does hopeful turn into doubtful? When does grateful turn into grumbly?

Do we just allow ourselves to turn into different people? Or do we take steps to stay (or become) joyful, engaged, unstoppable humans? People who others love to work with, serve with, spend time with.

A little over a year ago I wrote a blog on how complaining rewires our brains. If you know complaining is a struggle, please take the time to read this one piece (linked below). We may try to eat healthy, exercise, and rest aplenty – maybe there is one more thing we should consider:

Monday Morning Moment – Complaining Rewires Your Brain – How to Curb (Maybe Not Stop) Complaining – Deb Mills

Bottom line: Practice gratitude. Pause your thought process. Resist the urge to complain, rather reframing the complaint into positive action. Surround yourself with people who don’t complain, and, even make you laugh sometimes.

______________________________________________________________________________

When you have more time or you want to consider steps toward positive brain health and a kinder, gentler handling of your life and circumstances, I have excerpted these from my other blogs on complaining and negative thinking:

  1. Complaining Exposed – [From the Archives] When it comes to complaining, we all think of someone else who does it…not us. It is an irritating habit, and it only gets worse if unchecked. Poet writer Anne Peterson talks about complaining and how it flows out of 6 heart attitudes. Complaining reveals that:
  • We feel entitled.
  • We are impatient.
  • We hold on to resentment.
  • We compare ourselves to others.
  • We don’t think life is fair.
  • We are conformed to this world/culture.

Read her article for the particulars. Be prepared to rip the Bandaid (excuses) off your complaining.

What Your Complaints Actually Reveal About Your Heart Anne Peterson

Photo Credit: Gary Vaynerchuk

Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk writes about how his mom and wife seem to be incapable of complaining and it’s one of the things he loves about them: “Complaining has zero value. Looking at the negative, seeing the glass as half empty, and complaining are some of the biggest wastes of time a human being can engage in. Instead, tackle the problem head on. Assess it, see what you can do about it, and then do just that. ‘Woe is me’ is truly one of the biggest things that can stand in the way of success both professionally and personally.”

Gary Vaynerchuk

One of the Few Things I Complain About: Complaining – Gary Vaynerchuk

2. Beyond Grumpiness –[From the Archives] A friend of mine pointed this blog to me today and it bumped its way to the top of my Faves. English professor Alan Jacobs mused about the grumpiness of old people. I don’t know when it happens and why exactly it happens, but it is something that has happened to me of late…and I don’t think I’m old enough yet for it to happen.

Here’s a bit of what Dr. Jacobs says about grumpiness, but you should read his whole piece, especially if you’re finding yourself becoming grumpy (whatever age you are).

“I think the explanation for such widespread grumpiness is fairly simple…It’s not the big foul acts or horribly cruel words that do you in, it’s the slow drip drip drip of little annoyances that become over time a vast sea of frustration. Surely you’ve been there? You become exasperated by someone’s passing comment and when they are genuinely puzzled by your anger over so trivial a matter, you try to explain (apologetically, penitently, I hope) that it wouldn’t be a problem if this thing had happened once but it has happened a thousand times. It’s the repetition that kills you.” [Dr. Jacobs goes on to talk about the divisions on which we’ve taken sides give the sense of being new and revolutionary…and yet they are old divisions revisited.] “You can’t learn from the past if you don’t know what happened in it. So yeah, I’m gradually turning into a grumpy old man. Because nobody learns anything…” [About these things that divide us: We seem to care too much, or too little, or just plain not at all. Dr. Jacobs challenges us that only being truly loving people gives us the right to voice an opinion, and definitely not a shaming one.] “It’s a hard path to walk, this Way of avoiding both indifference and ‘the conscious impotence of rage at human folly.’ But the hard path is the only real Way. (All the others circle back on themselves.) So I try every day to follow it. I don’t think I could manage even that if I did not have an Advocate to accompany me, to encourage me, and to guide me.” – Alan Jacobs, Beyond Grumpiness

Against Stupidity – Alan Jacobs

The Destructive Power of Grumbling and Complaining – Michael Brown

3. Without Grumbling – [From the Archives] Which comes first – anger or grumbling? Or is it a more subtle but growing discontent? When does occasional complaining settle into a set habit of grumbling? What does grumbling communicate to our own minds and to others within hearing?

I’ve written plenty on complaining, grumbling, and negative thinking (see links below). It can absolutely change the wiring in our brains. In my younger years, I always looked for the good and the beautiful in a person/situation…and I found it. Now, as an older person, my temptation is more toward darker thinking. This is NOT where I want to stay.

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy

Below is a beautiful bit of writer Trevin Wax‘s post on grumbling and joy (it is geared toward Christians but there is wisdom for all of life here).

In Philippians 2:6–11, Paul commands the church to adopt the same mind of our risen Lord.  And his first command is, “Don’t grumble.”

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” (Philippians 2:14–15)

Why start with grumbling? We might expect an exhortation to spiritual disciplines, or strategies for thriving as pure and faultless people in a sinful world. And yes, Paul does speak about blamelessness and purity and holding firm to the word of life (Philippians 2:16). But this purity in action is somehow connected to the first command to do everything without grumbling. Somehow, grumbling will keep us from faithfulness.

Why start here? Because Paul knows the story of Israel.

Remember the children of Israel? They chose grumbling over gratitude. Grumbling stalled their journey and led to actions that were anything but “blameless and innocent.”

Whether we are given suffering, chains, imprisonment, or worse (Hebrews 11:36–38), or whether we conquer kingdoms, stop the mouths of lions, escape the sword, and put armies to flight (Hebrews 11:33–34), we must know that only joy in and gratitude to Jesus will win the war for our culture…Yes, we may face obstacles, setbacks, and tough days ahead. But in it all, and under it all, we are also joyful. And this cheerful courage comes not from ignoring darkness or looking only for the bright side, but from believing that the Light will overcome the dark.

Do you want to shine like stars? Then do everything without grumbling.” –

Trevin Wax, Facebook, March 27, 2022

Monday Morning Moment – Life & Politics – What If We Refused to Get Angry? – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Rewiring Your Brain Toward Thinking in the Positive – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Grumpy Begets Grumpy – Understanding It, Not Reacting, and Turning It Around – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Them and Us, How Can That Be? Could Them and Us Become a We? – Deb Mills

How Changing This One Bad Habit Changed Our Home for Good – Complaining

4. Breaking Out of Negative Thinking – [From the Archives] I first wrote about negative thinking six years ago (that blog linked below). Since then we have come through COVID 2020, great racial unrest and social upheaval, contentious election cycles, ongoing wars, and a downturn in our economy. Lots to think negatively about with good reason, but if we’re not careful we will begin gearing our thinking in that direction to the detriment of our mental and relational health.

Monday Morning Moment – Rewiring Your Brain Toward Thinking in the Positive – Deb Mills

Photo Credit: Daily Health Post

The team at Daily Health Post focused on complaining as a culprit that can actually cause our brains to default to anxiety and depression. From experience, I know this is true.

They prescribe the following to flip the damaging habit of complaining:

Be grateful: Find something to be grateful for everyday. If you keep a journal, write down 3 things you are grateful for every morning and every night.

If you start to feel anxious or pessimistic, pause a minute and write them down again. If it’s too hard, write down 5 or even 10 new things you’re grateful for. By the end of the exercise, you’ll feel much happier and fulfilled.

Catch yourself: Don’t wait for your friends or family to tell you you’re complaining, pay attention to your thoughts and words.

If you’re complaining, quickly shift your energy to find solutions and lessons to be learned. Afterwards, treat yourself will a nice cup of tea for the effort!

Change your mood: If you feel overwhelmed and negative, remove yourself from whatever you’re doing and shift your state of mind. If you’re home, sit down with your favorite book and cook up a tasty treat. If you’re at work, go to the washroom or break room for a few minutes and listen your favorite song.

Breathe deeply and close your eyes, paying attention to every word. Hold onto that relaxing feeling and carry it with you throughout the day.

Practice wise effort: Wise effort is the practice of letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. If your worry won’t improve your situation or teach you a lesson, simply let it go and move on.

This is much easier said then done, of course, but if you write it out, ask friends for advice, and take some time to think it through constructively, it really can be done.

Check out the full article below:

How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain to Be Anxious and Depressed

Photo Credit: Frank Sonnenberg Online

Why Your Brain is Wired for Pessimism—and What You Can Do to Fix It – Clay Skipper

There should be support groups…or maybe we start some. Peace.

Gratefully yours, Deb