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Monday Morning Moment – The Addictive Nature of Complaining and Breaking the Cycle

May 11, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: The Joy Within, Kyle Greenfield

Could I be complaining about complaining? Not at all. Having already written about it twice before (and not counting my pieces on negative thinking), why revisit it?

Here’s why.

Complaining is bad for us. It actually rewires the brain into thinking our complaints are current reality. Whatever has riled us up in the recent (or not so recent) past stirs up cortisol excretion (a stress hormone). Then as we process our complaint with a sympathetic listener, we actually then get a hit of dopamine. This positive effect of complaining is the pathway to habit. In fact, the brain will default to complaining in the future, rather than positive problem-solving or exercising gratitude for the good over the bad.

If, however, our processing a complicated or stressful situation helps us to get to a positive solution, the brain responds accordingly. This should be much more satisfying than habitual complaining which is personally depressing as well as depressing to others. There are rewards in complaining if it engenders sympathy maybe or gets us out of responsibilities, but those “rewards” turn into negatives when complaining becomes habitual and drives people away. This is not to say complaining should be silenced. We need to process hard things. The problem with complaining is when it becomes the end-goal.

The Psychological Harm of Complaining – Bence Nanay Ph.D.

It is quite sobering actually to consider all that’s written these days (see below) about the neurological changes that can come from repetitive behaviors, such as complaining. Fortunately, reversing this is possible.

High Focus Centers are treatment programs across multiple US states. Their focus is out-patient care for substance abuse and psychiatric disorders/issues. The following is a substantive excerpt from their article on the addictive nature of complaining, its physiological and relational harm, and the benefit of shifting complaining to a healthier mindset in 5 steps. 5 steps! Worth the read and your consideration, if you struggle with complaining or love someone who does.

“The purpose of the complaint often isn’t to fix anything…It’s about drawing attention—maybe to feel seen, validated or pitied. Over time, this loop of discomfort → complaint → attention can become addictive, providing a false sense of control, significance or identity…Victim mentality is a pattern of thinking where a person sees themselves as perpetually wronged by others or by life itself. They may believe they are ‘good’ or ‘right,’ and that any problem in their life is caused by other people who are ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’..At its core, victim mentality keeps someone trapped in blame. It externalizes every challenge and prevents personal growth, because it shifts responsibility away from the self.”

“Just like substance use or compulsive behaviors, complaining can offer short-term relief. It may feel good to vent, to be validated or to be the center of concern. But over time, this habitual negativity can actually rewire the brain, reinforcing pessimism, resentment and passivity.

Photo Credit: ThinkLink

Here’s why complaining can feel addictive:

Dopamine hits: When someone receives sympathy or attention after complaining, it can activate the brain’s reward system.
Identity reinforcement: Constantly viewing oneself as the victim can create a strong sense of self—though unhealthy, it’s familiar and consistent.
Avoidance of responsibility: Complaining and blaming protect someone from having to make changes, take risks or face uncomfortable truths.
Social bonding: In some circles, shared complaining becomes a social glue—even though it reinforces negativity.

Unfortunately, these perceived ‘benefits’ come at a high cost: chronic stress, broken relationships, low self-esteem and an inability to build lasting inner peace.”

Is Complaining an Addiction? Understanding the Trap of Victim Mentality – High Focus Treatment Centers

Shifting from Complaining to Empowerment

“Escaping the cycle of complaining and victimhood begins with awareness. If you find yourself constantly focused on what’s wrong—without seeking solutions—it may be time to ask: What am I hoping to gain from this?

Here are some strategies to begin shifting your mindset:

Notice the Pattern

Start by tracking your complaints. What triggers them? Are you seeking connection, pity or a sense of righteousness?

Ask: “Can I fix this?”

If the answer is yes, take action. If the answer is no, explore acceptance. Complaining about things you can’t or won’t change is a drain on your energy.

Reframe, Don’t Deny

You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. But try reframing: instead of “I hate this heat,” say, “This heat is uncomfortable—maybe I’ll get a fan or find some shade.”

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is the antidote to victimhood. Regularly recognizing what’s going well helps train your brain to seek out the positive.

Get Support

If complaining and blame feel like your default mode, it may be time to explore why. Often, these patterns are rooted in trauma, insecurity or learned helplessness. Working with a therapist can help uncover those roots and replace them with healthier coping tools.“

Is Complaining an Addiction? Understanding the Trap of Victim Mentality – High Focus Treatment Centers

Bottom line: Complaining is bad for you and can become habitual. It can become relational second-hand smoke, harming you and those around you. Ironically, this habit can be transformed, like any other, with great positive impact on your brain. Let’s get after it!

Monday Morning Moment – Don’t Let Complaining Rewire Your Brain – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Complaining Rewires Your Brain – How to Curb (Maybe Not Stop) Complaining – Deb Mills

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain Toward Negativity – ThinkLink – Super quick read and super helpful as well!

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain – Brain Performance

Chronic Complaining: Examining Its Relationship to Mental Health

The Truth About Complaining – Kyle Greenfield

Is Complaining Good for You? Therapists Explain [The Answer Is Surprising] – Brina Patel

Complaining and Your Brain: 4 Surprising Effects

Why Complaining is Addictive – Dr. Gloria Lee

How Negative Thinking Destroys Your Relationship – Dr. Gloria Lee

Is Complaining an Addiction? Find Out! Take the One-Day “Abstain from Complain” Challenge – Dr. Michael Ceely

Why Do I Complain So Much? Understanding the Psychology of Negativity

The Pros and Cons of Complaining – Barbara Frazier

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 8 – Resurrection Sunday – “He Is Risen!” “He Is Risen, Indeed!”

April 5, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

[Adapted from the Archives]

Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. – John 20:1

Mary Magdalene came, announcing to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”. – John 20:18

On this Sunday, this most glorious day in all of history, death gave way to life. The grave could not hold Jesus. In the early morning, a small group of women who had loved and followed this Jesus, came to the tomb, guarded and sealed, and found it empty. Then ones, twos, small groups, and a crowd of 500 saw him alive. Jesus himself, bearing the wounds of the cross, walking with them, eating with them, teaching them again…as he promised.

He is alive! This man from Nazareth, the Messiah of Israel, the Lord of the world.

With the breath of creation, He speaks of peace, faith, and mission.

With lungs full of air, He breathes on His disciples and grants His Spirit. My Jesus – alive!

The eyes that saw the darkness of death now drink in the sunlight of Easter. My Jesus – alive!* – Trevin Wax

[Read the rest of Wax’s poem here.]

Oh the joy…the indescribable joy of that reality. He died and yet he lives. We were dead in our sins, and because of him, we have life.

Take the time to read this amazing story yourself. The Gospel writers all have given detailed accounts of the risen Christ ( Matthew 28:1-13, Mark 16:1-14, Luke 24:1-49, and John 20:1-29). The Apostle Paul also wrote about Jesus’ resurrection in his letter to the Corinthian church (1 Corinthians 15).

Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive…

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. – 1 Cor. 15:20-22, 55-57

Sadly, there are those who think the resurrection of Jesus a myth, or a fairy tale. Even his life is treated casually. Yet, for sure, anyone who does a careful examination of the life and teachings of Jesus would be radically changed. This certainly was my experience. I know too well how wicked my heart can be…my thoughts and actions. God draws us to Himself, and in the drawing we recognize our desperate need for a savior, a strong arm to pull us out of the muck and mire of our own making. Jesus did that for me.

I know Jesus is alive from the historical accounts and the writing of eye witnesses, and because of his own word. I also know he is alive because of how he has transformed lives through the ages. He has changed my life, and he continues to do so.

For the past 20+ years, during Lent, I have read Adrian Plass’ book The Unlocking. I would like to close with a portion out of his Easter reading.

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” – John 20:19

“On that dark Sunday morning, Mary could never have guessed the cosmic significance of the empty tomb. When Jesus rose from the dead the ancient engines of order were fired once more and, in his body on earth, chaos was defeated. And what a wonderful moment for Jesus and his disciples. Neither locks nor fears could withstand the peace and security that the risen Saviour brought, and still brings to his people. It is the peace of knowing that, however rough the road may need to be (and it often is), we shall indeed, in the most real sense, live happily ever after.” – Adrian Plass**

Christ is risen! — He is risen indeed!

[Many of the links below are praise songs of various genres – as this year’s Holy Week closes, I hope you will take some time before the day ends to worship the Lord in the quiet of this great day. Hallelujah!]

Evidence for the Resurrection of Christ by Sean Davis

*My Jesus – Alive! by Trevin Wax

**The Unlocking – God’s Escape Plan for Frightened People (1994) by Adrian Plass

Hope in Times of Fear: The Resurrection and the Meaning of Easter – Timothy Keller

YouTube Video – John Lennox on the Evidence for the Resurrection

Spotify Playlist – From Palm Sunday to Resurrection – Beth Wayland

ToGather: Time to Reclaim the Joy (April 4 2021) – Demetrius Collins & Phil Ware – This is a powerful Easter Sunday service via a pastor’s written message and great singing thanks to YouTube selections!

YouTube Video – Doxology – David Crowder

YouTube Video – Because He Lives – Matt Maher

YouTube Video – Passion Song – The Story of Holy Week (Lyric Video) by @scartermusic

YouTube video with lyrics – I Can Only Imagine – MercyMe

YouTube video with lyrics – Before the Throne of God Above – Selah

Story Behind the Song Before the Throne of God Above

YouTube Video – Easter Song (Live) – Keith Green – (song starts 2 minutes in)

YouTube Video – Easter Song (1974) – The 2nd Chapter of Acts

YouTube Video – He’s Alive – Don Francisco

YouTube Video – Then Came the Morning – Guy Penrod

The Bridge Gospel Presentation

عيد القيامة يسوع المسيح مبارك وكلّ عام وانت واعئلتك بالف خير! المسيح فام! حقّاً قام!

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 7 – Black Saturday – the Silent Tomb

April 4, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

http://debmillswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Blog-Holy-Week-Black-Saturday.jpg

Photo Credit: Catholiclane.com – Garden Tomb, Jerusalem

[Adapted from the Archives]

This is the morning of exhausted grief. Jesus, the Messiah, God’s Sent One; His Only Son lay dead in a tomb. Dead. How is this possible?

The disciples, his family, those followers whose lives were completely transformed must have been numb with the stark reality that he was not with them…not on that Saturday. What would they do without him? What would happen to them? What? What?…Why?

There is only one scriptural reference to this day and it related to the threat of Jesus’ power and influence, even in death:

The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” Pilate said to them, “You have a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard. – Matthew 27:62-66

For the Jews, days begin and end at sundown. Most probably this visit with Pilate occurred Friday night. At his command, guards were placed. The tomb was sealed. Jesus would be no more trouble…or so they thought, in their ignorance.

He is dead: this man from Nazareth, the Messiah of Israel, the Lord of the world.

With His dying breaths, He spoke words of forgiveness, finality, and faith.

But now the breathing has ceased, and the lungs that exhaled forgiveness are deflated. My Jesus – dead.* – Trevin Wax

Read the rest of his poem here.

[Inserting here a talk done on Good Friday by a friend of ours – her topic was “What does the cross change?” – fitting for today – then after her talk, I will close on Black Saturday.]

“What does the cross change?

“Everything” is perhaps our knee jerk reaction. The cross changes everything. But that can’t be right when we worship an unchanging God. God did not change at the cross. He was perfectly just before the cross and remains perfectly just today and will be perfectly just forever. He was perfectly loving before the cross, he remains perfectly loving, and he will be perfectly loving forever. He was sovereign, is sovereign, and will be sovereign forever. God did not change at the cross.

I think to see what changed we have to go back much earlier than Jesus’ lifetime. We have to go back to Eden. God created a perfect garden with a man and a woman and plants and animals. It was an oasis, idyllic, peaceful. And by peaceful I don’t mean free from worry or stress. I mean the hearts of Adam and Eve were at peace with God. It’s hard to imagine that. Hard to imagine no shame, fear, uncertainty. Hard to imagine walking and talking with God, completely vulnerable, knowing you were free from any sort of culpability. Adam and Eve were at peace with God, each other, and themselves.

Then they went to war with God. And each of us makes that same decision, to go to war with God, to sin against him and against our nature as image-bearers. We do not choose peace or freedom, we choose war and shame, darkness and loneliness. When I say war I mean we declare that there must be bloodshed. There must be death. Sin is a declaration that we will not live as God intended. God intended perfect peace. He intended that we all walk with Him, unashamed, in the light. We sin and we disrupt that plan. We may not desire the outcome of that sin, which is death, but the outcome is unavoidable.

So Adam and Eve sinned and that perfect peace was shattered and the cross became inevitable. As we read through the Old Testament, the cross feels like it’s in every story. We see God using men and women to foreshadow what is to come, the perfect prophet, priest, judge, shepherd, and king. We read the Old Testament and we see all the plans God set in motion to reach the cross. What we see also is imperfection. Imperfect prophets, judges, shepherds, and kings. Imperfect sacrifices leading to imperfect relationships. God is with His people but they cannot be at peace with him like they were in the Garden.

So, does the cross take us backward, to Eden? No. There’s no going back to Eden. That’s not the plan.

The cross is the culmination of the battle that started in Eden. We declared war in the garden and Jesus Christ declared victory at the cross. Oh death, where is your sting? We can ask that because the battle is over. Jesus Christ conquered death and we who believe have the promise of eternal life, starting today.

It’s strange though. It doesn’t feel over. I don’t feel at peace. Not with God, or others, or myself. It feels like the battle is very much ongoing and it often feels like I’m losing. So, what has the cross really changed?

I’m reminded of my favorite passage in the Bible, which is where Jesus is walking on water and Peter calls out to Him and Jesus says come. It’s an amazing story in so many ways but I’m always struck by the fact that Peter sinks and, it seems, is going to drown. Even with Jesus standing right there, standing on water exhibiting power over nature, declaring he is God, Peter is sinking under the waves. Jesus saves him, of course. But I imagine Peter, while grateful, was a bit unnerved by the sinking part. I’m reminded of this story because the reality of this Earth is that, while God is sovereign and He has won the battle over death, we do not live in Eden. We do not live in the new heaven and new Earth. We are waiting for Jesus Christ to return and while we wait, we will struggle. We’ll perhaps almost drown as we try to walk with God. But because of the cross, we will walk as freely as Adam and Eve walked with God. Death no longer has a hold on us.

So, we have victory over death because of the cross, which is our hope for the future. But what do we cling to in this daily battle? What else does the cross give us today?

I’d like to talk about just one thing.

When God looked at His Son, He was pleased. It’s such an amazing thought. That God looked from heaven at a man and was pleased. Picture it. Jesus is a man on Earth and God looks at him and addresses him and says He is pleased with him. That’s what the cross changes for us. When God looks at you who believe, He does not see your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. He sees you, an individual He created in your mother’s womb whom He has loved from the beginning of time. But instead of your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. And He says, this is my daughter, in whom I am well pleased. This is my son, in whom I am well pleased. Imagine it. The sight of you pleases God. The cross means that we no longer have a broken and distorted relationship with God because we, unlike any person living before the cross, are holy in God’s eyes. No matter how putrid our sin is, no matter how many times we have declared war with God. For those who believe and repent, we can walk in the light, free from the burden of our sin. Like Adam and Eve, we walk with God in peace. Like Jesus, God looks at us and is pleased. I pray you can feel that today. Feel that God knows you, knows your name and your face and sees you and is as pleased to see you as He is to see His own Son. Not because you’re obedient or you are bursting with the fruit of the spirit. To believe that your good deeds can make up for putting Jesus Christ on the cross with your sin is folly. Our sin led to the death of God’s one and only begotten Son. We cannot make up for that with our good behavior. To try and do so is to deny Christ’s sacrifice.

The cross takes that burden away and replaces it with freedom. We are free to walk in peace with God and to know and feel that God is pleased with us because of the cross.

So what does the cross change? Us.” – Amanda, Good Friday reading, Sideris Church

We have the great knowledge of the risen Christ, but his followers, on that Saturday, only had dim recollection of his words of promise. Shrouded in grief, they found themselves quite “in between” – in between the death of their Savior and the life of his glorious promises.

Another dear friend of ours, Beth, shared this message by John Ortberg from a conference where he spoke on Black Saturday, well, “Saturdays” in general. He describes so well this day in between.

“Saturday – the day between the crucifixion and the resurrection. What do you think the disciples were doing on Saturday? Here they have seen their friend and their Master killed the day before but also have this vague promise, which probably seemed ludicrous at the time that he would rise again. Most of life is Saturday…It`s waiting in faith and hanging onto the promise that God is going to come through for us in spite of how bad things look. Most of life is Saturday. — I don`t know where you are this Holy Week. Maybe you`re in a Palm Sunday kind of mood wanting God to get on board with an agenda and maybe he will, but if he doesn’t, know that his plans are always good…Maundy Thursday means that God loves us no matter how dirty our uniform gets from the game of life. Maybe you`re in a Saturday kind of place – between a hard time and a promise you only half believe. Know this for sure that God`s Easter irony is still at work, and he can use even the worst tragedies for good, and he always has at least one more move left. No matter how bleak and dark Saturday gets, Sunday`s coming, and it`s coming sooner than you think. “ – John Ortberg

Photo Credit: IMB Resources

Saturday is the “in between day”. Did those who loved Jesus most remember this? Was their grief so consuming, so deafening to His promises, so numbing there was no room for hope? We have the great experience of knowing, for sure, that Sunday is coming!

Today is the waiting day.

We wait like schoolchildren for the final bell.

We wait with tapping foot, huffing breath, rolling eyes.

We wait like a mother for the gushing of birth water.

We wait like branches holding pink petaled secrets.

We wait with tears of frustration or eyes filled with anger.

We wait with tears of joy or eyes wide with wonder.

In the waiting rooms of life, our hope is mixed, our longings more so. But still, we wait. Forgive us for our impatience, Lord. We believe, help our unbelief.

We carry the sorrow of loss even as we hold on to hope of gain. We watch and we wait for your resurrection life. Even though we may not see the evidence, we wait with hope.

Because today is the waiting day. – Emily P. Freeman

The Day Jesus Stayed Dead – Waiting in the Heartache of Holy Saturday – Gerrit Scott Dawson, Desiring God

YouTube Video of John Ortberg on “Saturdays” – American Association of Christian Counselors Conference, October 2011 – So good!!! (starting 5 minutes in)

*My Jesus – Dead by Trevin Wax

On This Holy Saturday: Here at the End of All Things (Triduum Series) – Tea with Tolkien

YouTube Video – Jesus Paid It All (lyric video) – Fernando Ortega

YouTube Video – How Deep the Father’s Love For Us written by Stuart Townend – with David Wesley

YouTube Video with lyrics – In Christ Alone written by Stuart Townend & Keith Getty

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 6 – Good Friday – His Trial, Crucifixion, & Burial – “It’s Friday, but Sunday’s Coming”

April 3, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

http://debmillswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Blog-Holy-Week-Good-Friday.jpg — Photo Credit: GoodFridayQuotes2015.com

[Adapted from the Archives ]

It was a day like no other day in history.

For years we lived in countries where Christianity was a minority religion. While the few of us, in those days, passed this week in reflection and wonder, it was, of course, just another week for most of our friends and neighbors. Easter had its name – Eid Al-Qiyama (“Feast of Resurrection”) – but, for so many, Good Friday was shrouded in the ordinary. However, for Jesus, and all who have experienced life through his teaching and example, this day was and is wholly extraordinary.

Good Friday – good for us, hard for Jesus. The events of his trial, crucifixion, death, and burial are all recorded with great detail in the four Gospels. They are riveting accounts of this terrible and triumphant day – Matthew 26:57-27:61, Mark 15, Luke 22:66-23:56, John 18:28-19:42.

Jesus had no opportunity to sleep in the hours of night before this dawn. From the garden where he prayed, he was forcibly taken into the custody of the high priests. Through the early morning hours, he was bounced brutally between the Sanhedrin, the high court of Israel, and the Roman authorities (Pilate and Herod Antipas). While in their custody, Jesus endured hostile interrogation, false accusations, trumped-up charges, relentless attempts at public humiliation, and repeated beatings. Yet, he somehow retained his full faculties, responding to the authorities, when necessary, with great wisdom and understanding of both the proceedings and the people.

In the midst of all this trauma, he even made eye contact with one of his dearest friends and followers, Peter, hiding himself nearby…in his own painful moment.

The outcome of all the wrangling between the Jewish and Roman officials was an unwarranted, undeserved death sentence. Execution by crucifixion. Pilate even washed his hands of the matter, literally, declaring Jesus innocent but still consenting to the death sentence. He didn’t know then but the “blood” he tried to wash of his hands was truly innocent. Still, it wasn’t Pilate who put Jesus on that cross, nor was it Caiaphas, head of the Sanhedrin. Not a Roman, nor a Jew.

Jesus’ death, that day, was an outworking of a divine plan. We cannot begin to understand the holiness of the Father, the sinless resolve of the Son, or the steadfastness of the Spirit. This three-in-one God orchestrated a path forward for us, His fallen and broken people, to be restored to Him.

That we, though wrecked by sin, can be whole again and one in Him, in that unity of Father, Son, Holy Spirit (John 17:21) is a miracle of grace.

Jesus gave his life for us that day. It was not taken from him. He laid it down. For us. Though completely undeserving, we are ransomed and redeemed. At such a great cost. This Jesus. This life. This cross.

It Was My Sin That Held Him There – Greg Morse

Jesus spoke seven times during the three hours he hung on that cross. Each time he spoke, as in all the other times his words are recorded, there was something for all of us. If you don’t know what he said, in those seven brief cries from the cross, read them and discover more about him…and about us.

Just before he died, he cried out, “It. Is. Finished.” What? What was finished? His life…oh no…not at all…that story comes later. His work? Not completely…for he continues interceding for us (Romans 8:34). What was finished? The perfect sacrifice – the lamb without spot or blemish – his life for ours. “The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29). Hallelujah!

‘Finished’ – What the Son Cried as He Died – Scott Hubbard – Desiring God

There is so much more to say about this day and the people present. Pilate’s wife who warned Pilate about ruling against this innocent man. Judas Iscariot, Jesus’ betrayer, who tried to return the money and killed himself in remorse that same day. Simon of Cyrene, a pilgrim, who was drawn into the dreadful drama of that day to carry Jesus’ cross when he could not. Barabbas, a notorious criminal, who gained his freedom, through a strange twist of the day. The nameless thief on the cross who cried out in repentance to Jesus. The Roman centurion who in his witness of Jesus all those hours professed faith in him. John, Jesus’ closest disciple, and Jesus’ mother Mary to whom Jesus gave each other. The women, lives changed by their faith in Jesus, who stayed at the foot of the cross through all the horror of his crucifixion. Nicodemus, a Pharisee and a Christ-follower, who tried to appeal for Jesus with the Sanhedrin. Joseph of Arimathea, another believing Pharisee, who went to Pilate to receive Jesus’ body for burial, to place in his own tomb.

So many stories of lives changed. Good Friday. This marked the day of Jesus’ trial, his death, and his burial, but it does not mark the end of the story. It’s Friday…but Sunday’s coming.*

http://debmillswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Good-Friday-from-popgodblog.jpg

Photo Credit: popgodblog.com

[In the links below are several beautiful songs of worship. Tributes to the Lord on this day. Don’t miss the articles and the great sermon “It’s Friday But Sunday’s a Coming” by Rev. S. M. Lockridge*.]

*YouTube Video – It’s Friday but Sunday’s a Coming – S. M. Lockridge

YouTube Video – Passion Song – The Story of Holy Week (Lyric Video) by @scartermusic – powerful.

The Final Days of Jesus – Andreas J. Kostenberger & Justin Taylor

The Way of Jesus #3: Unless a Seed – James Nored

The Way of Jesus #4: Who Do I Say Jesus Is? – James Nored & Phil Ware

It Wasn’t Nails that Held Him to the Cross – Blog by Michele Perry

Good Friday – Bible Study

Good Friday – the God Who Bleeds and Dies – Scott Sauls

YouTube Video – “The Man on the Middle Cross Said I Could Come” – Alistair Begg

Spotify Playlist for Holy Week – Beth Wayland

YouTube Video – Sunday’s Coming – Phil Wickham

YouTube Video – It is Finished – Matt Papa

YouTube Video – Forever – Kari Jobe

YouTube Video with Lyrics – The Wonderful Cross by Chris Tomlin & Keith Getty

YouTube Video with lyrics – The Power of the Cross – Kristyn Getty

YouTube Video with lyrics – Lead Me to the Cross – Hillsong

YouTube Video – Skit Guys – Good Friday

Photo Credit: We Love the Bible, Pinterest

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 5 – Maundy Thursday – Passover Celebration & His Last Supper Before the Cross

April 2, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

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[Adapted from the Archives]

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:34-35

The Thursday before Jesus’ trial and crucifixion was the awaited celebration of Passover. In this day, we have a picture of Jesus, in all his humanity, and in all his deity. All four of the Gospels written about Jesus’ life have an account of this day’s events (Matthew 26:17-75; Mark 14; Luke 22:7-65; John 13:1-18:27).

After sunset, the Jewish people would take the Passover meal together – as families usually. They would share the Seder meal and remember how God protected them during the days of their slavery in Egypt.

Photo Credit: Seder Meal, Robert Couse-Baker, Flickr

This particular Thursday is known as Maundy Thursday. Maundy means “commanded” and also can refer to the ceremonial washing of feet. Jesus took upon himself to wash the dusty feet of his disciples, modeling for them his command to love one another (John 13:34-35).

After Jesus and his disciples finished their meal together, he would then enter the garden Gethsemane to pray. As He prayed, He wrestled with his heavenly Father over the need for him to die. “O my Father, if it is possible, let this cup [of suffering and death] pass from me.” Then, settled in his obedience, he reiterated: “O my Father, if this cup cannot pass away from me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” [Matthew 26:39; Matthew 26:42]

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Sometime during that dark night of the soul, he turned his attention toward his disciples and all the rest of us, across the ages, who would follow him. His prayer to the Father, recorded in John 17, is exquisitely beautiful, especially in the context of this difficult night. [Take time to read it in full, but I’ve included a part of it below.]

“Holy Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are. I have given them Your word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth. As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word; that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

Then out of the darkness, Jesus’ disciple Judas Iscariot came to betray him. He was leading a group of the religious leaders, along with a huge company of soldiers. Although Jesus’ loyal disciples wanted to resist his arrest, Jesus refused their intervening and surrendered himself…not to the mob but to the will of the Father.

The betrayal was complete. His disciples fled (although those closest to him would soon seek out where he was being held). Jesus would spend the rest of the night in the tormenting custody of his enemies. The countdown to the cross had begun in earnest. A countdown that actually began at the Fall of humanity, and, under the careful watch of God, our Father…a countdown toward restoring us back to Himself.

One more day…

Jesus Prays for His Disciples…and For Us – Ralph F. Wilson

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 4 – Wednesday – Quiet Before the Storm…and We Worship

April 1, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

[Adapted from the Archives]

After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, “Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.” And all the angels…fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God. – Revelation 7:9-11

“Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing.” – Revelation 5:12

There appears to be nothing recorded in Scripture of events surrounding Jesus on the Wednesday before his crucifixion. Nothing. After two difficult days dealing with his enemies and accusers, it is quite possible that he took a rest. A Sabbath rest. Given the terrible nature of what was ahead of him, starting just the next day, he could surely use a day to rest and reflect. To remember how the Father had sustained him through all the strains of his public life. To refresh himself in prayer and in the company of those on earth who loved him most – his disciples, his friends, possibly his family. We know no details of that day.

Silent Wednesday.

Since we also know what is coming for Jesus…and all for our sakes…we pause today, as well, to worship. He is the perfect lamb, without blemish, perfectly fit to be offered as a sacrifice for our sins. God provided a ram for Abraham to take his son’s place in that strange and amazing sacrifice on Mt. Moriah (Genesis 22:1-14). This was a foreshadowing of our own need for a Savior. We also can be saved by the blood of “the Lamb, who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1:29).

Photo Credit – Baptist Press

Jesus’ life was not taken from him on that Friday, two days hence. His life was not taken. Not by the Jewish or Roman authorities. He gave his life…for us…there are no words adequate to respond…worship is all we have.

Photo Credit – Baptist Press

Worship with me:

Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song to Him who sits on
Heaven’s Mercy Seat
[Repeat 2x]

(Chorus)
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You…!
Yeah!

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King,
Yeah

(Chorus)

Filled with wonder,
Awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your Name
Jesus, Your Name is Power
Breath, and Living Water
Such a marvelous mystery
Yeah…

(Chorus)

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come,
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And – I – will – adore YOU…

(Chorus)

(Repeat a cappella)

Come up lift up His Name
To the King of Kings…
We will adore YOU Lord…
King of heaven and earth
King Jesus, King Jesus
Aleluya, aleluya, aleluya!
Majesty, awestruck Honor
And Power and Strength and Dominion
To You Lord,
To the King, to King
To the King of Glory

Chorus (Repeats)*

[Read the blog above in its entirety here.]

*Lyrics to Revelation Song written by Jennie Lee Riddle

Story Behind Revelation Song – Jennie Lee Riddle’s vision of the Church wholly united in worship of God – here as we will be one day in Heaven

How is Jesus the Lamb of God?

YouTube Video – Is He Worthy (feat. Chandler Moore & Nate Moore) – Maverick City/TRIBL

Spotify Playlist From Palm Sunday to the Resurrection – Beth Wayland

How is Jesus the Lamb of God?

Holy Week Timeline Graphic

YouTube Video – Is He Worthy (feat. Chandler Moore & Nate Moore) – Maverick City/TRIBL

The Final Days of Jesus – Andreas J. Kostenberger & Justin Taylor

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Jesus and Holy Week – Day 2 – Monday – Jesus Curses a Fig Tree and Turns Over Tables

March 30, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Fig Tree by Bob Orchard

[Adapted from the Archives]

On the next day, when they had left Bethany, He became hungry. Seeing at a distance a fig tree in leaf, He went to see if perhaps He would find anything on it; and when He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs. He said to it, “May no one ever eat fruit from you again!” – Mark 11:12-14

When Jesus woke on Monday morning, after that glorious Sunday entering Jerusalem…I wonder what he thought. Did he know that, in just four days, he would be crucified? Whew…

Back to Monday:

During that week in Jerusalem, Jesus and his disciples spent the nights with friends in Bethany, two miles outside of the city. Each morning, they would walk into Jerusalem. On that Monday morning, just four days prior to his crucifixion, Jesus became hungry on the walk in. Seeing a leafy fig tree, he looked for fruit. With fig trees, where there are leaves, there should be figs. Since green figs are edible, and it wasn’t yet harvest season, there should still be some fruit on the tree.

When he found no figs, Jesus cursed the tree. This seems out of character for Jesus, until his action is put in the context of his culture and community. Throughout his public ministry, especially as he became more known and revered, the Jewish religious leaders held him in contempt.

Jesus’ teaching of our dependence on God’s righteousness and not our own flew in the face of the Pharisaical teaching of the day – that of strict adherence to Jewish law as the only hope of finding favor with God. For Jesus, the leafy barren fig tree must have been a picture of religious Jews of that day, all flash and finery but no fruit of faith.

“Christ’s single miracle of Destruction, the withering of the fig-tree, has proved troublesome to some people, but I think its significance is plain enough. The miracle is an acted parable, a symbol of God’s sentence on all that is ‘fruitless’ and specially, no doubt, on the official Judaism of that age. That is its moral significance.” – C. S. Lewis

Jesus was left still physically hungry. He remained spiritually hungry as well – for this people of the Book to receive the good news that the Messiah had come.

Finally, arriving back in Jerusalem, Jesus was deeply troubled by what he found inside the Temple. The crowds of Passover pilgrims did not disturb him, but temple grounds turned marketplace did. In this sanctified place, meant only for worship, there were money-changers and sellers of animals for sacrifice, right in the Court of the Gentiles – in the only place where non-Jewish God-believers could worship.

Photo Credit: ScreenRant, from the TV show *The Chosen*

Jesus entered the temple and drove out all those who were buying and selling in the temple, and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who were selling doves. And He said to them, “It is written, ‘MY HOUSE SHALL BE CALLED A HOUSE OF PRAYER’; but you are making it a ROBBERS’ DEN.” – Matthew 21:12-13

Photo Credit: “*Expulsion of the Moneychangers from the Temple*” by Luca Giordano

Often in film depictions of Jesus cleansing the temple, he appears a crazed individual, flailing about, throwing tables and flinging pigeons into the air. I can’t even imagine him that way. We can’t know how it happened except that in Jesus’ anger, he did not sin. He would not sin. I know the Jesus Film is just another director’s film rendering, but in this scene, Jesus showed considerable restraint. Disturbed at the buying and selling that actually kept believing Gentiles from worshiping, he moved to correct the situation. He was unafraid of the temple officials, burning with zeal for his Father to be truly worshiped in that place.

Zeal for Your house has consumed me, And the reproaches of those who reproach You have fallen on me. – Psalm 69:9

Later in the week, he himself would be the one for sale – sold for 30 pieces of silver, betrayed by one of his own disciples, to satisfy the wrath of the religious leaders. That story is for another day.

This Holy Monday, we are drawn again to this Messiah who teaches us that the way we live our lives matters but not more than the way we relate to God. He makes space for us…room for all of us to receive Him. He is holy, and in His righteousness, we stand…on solid ground.

The Final Days of Jesus – Andreas J. Kostenberger & Justin Taylor

YouTube Video with Lyrics of In Christ Alone by Stuart Townend & Keith Getty

Reasoning Why Jesus Cursed the Fig Tree

Monday of Holy Week

Why Did Jesus Get Angry in the Temple – Understanding Righteous Indignation

Cleansing the Court of the Gentiles

Jesus Film Media – website & app to watch videos

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Holy Week – Counting Down to Resurrection Sunday – From Jesus’ Entry into Jerusalem to the Empty Tomb

March 29, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

[Adapted from the Archives]

Today is the first day of Holy Week (for most Christians in the world). Each day is significant as Jesus began the week with a triumphant entry into Jerusalem and then endured crucifixion for sins not His own on the Friday of this week…followed by a glorious Resurrection. I will point you to each day’s events through the links below…recapping the significance for us of Jesus’ journey through this most holy of weeks.

Today is Palm Sunday.

For you critical thinkers (believers and non-believers), this week in the life of Jesus of Nazareth is one worthy of analysis. No matter your religion or non-religion, this Jesus, in these days, warrants examination, related to anything you may think of God. You will better understand the core beliefs of a Christ-follower, not just a person you had thought to be a Christian. For in the study of Jesus’ life and his followers, in just this one week, you will see a deep distinction between “the religious” and “the redeemed”.

Palm Sunday is celebrated as the “triumphal entry” of Jesus into Jerusalem, just days before he would endure a mock trial and then be crucified. He and his closest followers (disciples) came to Jerusalem for the celebration of Passover. Passover was/is an annual remembrance of God’s protection and deliverance of Israel during a time of slavery (Exodus 12:26-28). Jesus would celebrate Passover on Thursday of that coming week, but he did not come to Jerusalem for that reason alone.

He knew from his Father God why he came to Jerusalem, and he tried to prepare his disciples for what was coming.

From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day. – Matthew 16:21

Imagine the scene as Jesus entered Jerusalem. Some in the crowd did recognize him, and then the word spread of the arrival of this great teacher, this healer, this man whose teaching was like none before him. Palm branches were pulled to wave in tribute to him, as others flung their cloaks on the dust before him welcoming him.

Most of the crowd spread their coats in the road, and others were cutting branches from the trees and spreading them in the road. The crowds going ahead of Him, and those who followed, were shouting, “Hosanna** to the Son of David; BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD; Hosanna in the highest!” When He had entered Jerusalem, all the city was stirred, saying, “Who is this?” – Matthew 21:8-10

“Who is this?” For those who did not know him, the wild welcome for him must have been confusing and captivating. For the religious authorities in Jerusalem, who knew him and were unwilling to welcome this “king of the Jews”, his popularity was infuriating.

The clock began ticking as they plotted against this man Jesus.

Over that bright hopeful day of palms hung the shadow of the Cross – the Cross that would bring even greater hope to all people. The “Hosanna” of Palm Sunday would change to cries to “Crucify!” just five days later. Jesus had no ambition to please the crowds; he was resolutely on task to redeem those who could not redeem themselves – the whole world.

The Final Days of Jesus – Andreas J. Kostenberger & Justin Taylor

_______________________________________________________________________________

Each day of Holy Week is highlighted in the following posts – one for each day in Jesus’ last week of life before He was resurrected and gave us the sure hope of eternal life with Him. Links follow below.

“If you listen carefully, you can hear the crowd” – Ian Simpkins – Instagram (read this short powerful free verse!)

“The Crowds” – Matthew 21:1-11 – Palm Sunday Sermon, Cliff Jordan, Movement Church, Richmond, Virginia

Monday, Day 2 – Jesus Curses a Fig Tree and Cleanses the Temple

Jesus and Holy Week – Monday, Day 2 – Jesus Curses a Fig Tree and Cleanses the Temple

Tuesday, Day 3 – A Long Day Teaching & Countering Religious Opposition

Jesus and Holy Week – Tuesday, Day 3 – A Long Day Teaching & Countering Religious Opposition

Wednesday, Day 4 – A Day of Quiet Before the Storm – and We Worship

Worship Wednesday – Jesus & Holy Week – Day 4 – A Day of Quiet Before the Storm – & We Worship

Thursday, Day 5 – Passover Celebration and His Last Supper Before the Cross

Photo Credit – Baptist Press – Courtesy of DeMoss News Pond

Jesus and Holy Week – Thursday, Day 5 – Passover Celebration and His Last Supper Before the Cross

Friday, Day 6 – Good Friday – His Trial, Crucifixion, & Burial

Jesus and Holy Week – Day 6 – Good Friday – His Trial, Crucifixion, & Burial

Saturday, Day 7 – Black Saturday – the Silent Tomb

Jesus and Holy Week – Day 7 – Black Saturday – the Silent Tomb

Sunday, Day 8 – Resurrection Sunday – Risen, Indeed! Thank You, Jesus!

Photo Credit: Christianity.com

Photo Credit: Mindful Christianity, Facebook

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Worship Wednesday – Loving Well, Hating Well

January 28, 2026 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Destiny City, Don Vess

But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. – Luke 6:27-28

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:31-32

There are six things that the Lord hates,seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. – Proverbs 6:16-19

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Carefully consider what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible on your part, live at peace with everyone. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:17-19

Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. – 1 Peter 3:8-9

The beginning of this year in the US has been marked with violence in the streets and clashes with federal agents. Social and news media posts are daily filled with critiques of one group of people vs. another one. Whole people groups. Division is high. Fingers pointed. Disdain fueled by distancing. Even Christians against Christians…sadly.

Writer, theologian Trevin Wax posted a blog this past week on something I’d never heard of before – censoriousness. It is defined as “the state of being censorious, which means having a tendency to blame, criticize, or condemn others. It often involves a habit of finding fault and reproaching others for their actions or opinions.”

How to Deal with a Censorious Spirit – Trevin Wax (really excellent read)

In John Bevere‘s book The Bait of Satan, he teaches on how to respond when we are treated unfairly. Our temptation is to react when someone berates or condemns us. We don’t feel understood. The same applies to those toward whom we express contempt. There is always more to the story. The saying “Two things can be true” is applied. Issues brewing in our country are not so simple as one side against another. The causes are multi-layered and complex. Oh for the simple to reign…and in God’s Word, He breaks down the complex. We are to pray for those in opposition to us (and vice versa). We are to be curious and seek understanding. We are not to allow the world and its evil to divide us. We are to remember that God is in control, and it is His prerogative to judge and make things right.

Photo Credit: Charles Brent, Heartlight

Clinical psychologist, leadership expert Dr. Henry Cloud’s describes how to hate well in his small and fascinating book 9 Things a Leader Must Do. He is wise and succinct on all the topics of this book but especially on hating well, and I quote him here:

“Hate is one of the most crucial ingredients of a good person’s character. What we hate says a lot about who we are, what we value, what we care about…Basically, we are defined in part by what we love and what we hate. You can tell a lot about people by what they love…[and] by what they hate…You can depend on people who…hate arrogance, lying, innocent people being hurt, harmful schemes, evil practices, telling lies about others, and things that stir up dissension among people. [the things that God hates – Proverbs 6:16-19]…The first thing that hate does for us is to help us move against certain traits and issues, thus becoming different from them…The second way hate benefits us is that it causes us to protect what we value…The third way that hate is a good thing is the flip side of protection. Hate moves us to destroy bad things, which are often the things that threaten the good. [However] Unsuccessful leaders hate in ways that solve problems as opposed to creating problems…The difference between leaders who hate well and those who hate destructively lies in the difference between two kinds of hate: subjective and objective. Subjective anger [hate] blasts other people, causes overreactions, dissensions, inability to resolve conflict, broken relationships…Make the subjective hatred objective. Transform it to the kind of hate that solves problems, protects things that you value, and stands against the things that you do not want in your life and work…[he/she] shows up with integrated character. When he brings hate, he brings love as well…and respect, kindness, and forgiveness [taking] a hard stand on a touch issue but remaining loving and kind in the process.” – Dr. Henry Cloud, 9 Things a Leader Must Do – pp. 73-83

In hating well, the focus is on unrighteous acts not on the offenders. It’s not personal. Hating well treats all people as God’s image-bearers. He says repeatedly in His Word that He will avenge, He will make right, He will repay. Because He is without sin, He alone knows just how far to go for the sake of redemption. Our own “righteous anger” moves to sin so quickly because the subjective nature of the offense catapults us to hatred, and not in a good way.

Using the name of Jesus to justify mistreatment of image bearers – Instagram post – Kendra Leeanne Kuntz

I was reminded on a zoom call earlier this week that we are one body with many members – some of us are gifted by the Holy Spirit to speak out against evil, others of us are more the encouragers and mercy-givers, still others serve both the church and those experiencing hardship in the world, and still others point us to the Scripture to make sure we believe what God says and not just what we want to believe He says…

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think of yourself with sober judgment, according to the measure of faith God has give you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and not all members have the same function, so in Christ we who are many are one body, and each member belongs to one another. – Romans 12:3-5

God calls us to love well (following the example of the Godhead) and to hate well…the same. Only He is the One without sin. He alone can move our hearts to love as He loves and hate as He hates.

Photo Credit: John Stott, Heartlight

Monday Moment Morning – How Can We Keep From Hating? – Deb Mills

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Monday Moment Morning – How Can We Keep From Hating?

January 19, 2026 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Heartlight

This weekend, we in the State of Virginia had our governor’s inauguration. It was another occasion of either relief and elation or concern and consternation. Our state and nation remains polarized in so many ways.

Can we disagree politically, philosophically, or ideologically…without hating each other?

We are in a season of hating or aligning with whole people groups. Maybe, in all of history, we have such seasons. A season where, if we aren’t careful, we hate a whole group of people or we love that same group, thereby putting us in grave opposition to the “haters”. At least, the news and social media platforms are telling us this is the case.

Whole people groups – be they Somalis, Afghans, Republicans, Democrats, Jews, Evangelical Christians. Whole people groups.

How can we keep from hating?

Maybe an even more core question: do we even want to keep from hating? What do we think is gained by hating another or a group of others?

Oddly, hating people can feel good. We feel justified in hating. Even morally superior. The dilemma here is that hating begets hating. Neuroplasticity is the process in our brain where negative thoughts, and resulting actions, become hard-wired, having a negative impact on our physical and mental health over time.

The Neuroscience of Hate: Why It Feels Good to Be Angry

The Power of Hate and Its Consequences – Andrew Mathews

I don’t want to simplify or downplay the reasons one might have to hate, but the devastating effects of it in our culture, community, families (and in our own brains) are worth taking a step back and considering.

Briefly, here are some actions to consider:

Call to mind the possibility that I hate someone/some peoples. “Check your heart” is a common refrain in my life. If I’m honest, are there persons/people whose actions, or personalities, offend me? Do my speech and attitude betray my hatred? Does this hatred feel justified? If so, do I give myself a pass for feeling such a strong negative emotion?
Consider what is below the surface of my hatred. Do I consider what I feel to be righteous anger? Is it righteous if it moves me toward hatred? In defending the rights of one group of people against another, am I committing the same injustice toward “the offending group” as I see being directed to the one I care more about? Or is fear what stirs me to hate? Or unfairness? We can have any number of reasons to hate. Addressing those reasons (with help, if necessary), brings our hatred more into the light. It doesn’t mean that we don’t seek change in the culture, but with greater care, compassion, and even empathy.
Seek understanding by leaning in to persons whose groups we are tempted to hate. Real, flesh-and-blood, face-to-face conversations can soften our tendency to hate. Asking questions, listening with care, resisting the temptation to argue, leaving the door open for understanding. This is a huge step toward stopping the hate. For those who pray, beginning to pray for that person can grease the tracks for you to love them – pray for her/his needs to be met, for protection and peace, for paths forward that don’t further divide us.

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy, Margaret Walker

8 Ideas for Managing Hatred – Michael Karson, Ph.D., J.D. – Psychology Today

4. Recognize that hating what is evil is different than hating people. Hatred dehumanizes people. Remember the persons with whom we disagree have children, parents, jobs, their own hopes, fears and strivings – just like us. They may even have a faith similar to ours…but the issue has overcome us/them and has pushed itself into paramount position. Extinguishing civility. We may actually agree on a wrong, if we acknowledge that we’re all trying to sort out the right path forward.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

5. For those of us who are believers, we have no leave to hate. For Christians, we are called by Christ Jesus to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). When hating becomes a habit, especially of a particular people group, we lose our way. Thinking it is almost our duty to hate. We have to guard against self-deceit.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Peter D. Kaufman, brilliant and highly successful businessman, gives wise counsel in this for all of us: “Go positive and go first, and be constant in doing it.” Determine to love, resist hating, don’t wait for the other person, and in every conversation and encounter, be constant in this effort.

The Multi-disciplinary Approach to Thinking – Peter Kaufman

Young businessman, world-changer Mitchell Wilson recalls Kaufman’s use of the phrase mirrored reciprocation. How this applies is when we engage others with love, listening as we seek understanding, being gentle where we disagree, we often get the same responses in return.

Wilson writes: “Peter doesn’t go into this in his speech [above], but I can’t help but think of Jesus’s core teachings that relate to the principle of mirrored reciprocation:

Love your neighbor as yourself
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Forgive those who trespass against you
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy
Turn the other cheek”

Mirrored Reciprocation: Peter Kaufman’s Profoundly Simple Insight That Helps You Achieve An Enjoyable Life | Blog

6. Don’t give up on developing the habit of loving instead of hating. This is definitely a spiritual disciple and a habit worthy of pursuing. Peter Kaufman also has counsel, from his talk above The most powerful force that could be potentially harnessed is dogged incremental constant progress over a very long time frame. We are going to have to fight against hating, especially if we have allowed it to take up real estate in our minds. However, as with anything worth mastering, the work needed to keep from hating will yield its fruit…if we don’t give up.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

[This blog was inspired by recent, terrible events in our country and also by the sermon at Movement Church yesterday. Our pastor Cliff unpacked Matthew 5:38-42 (YouTube video linked; image below) about showing radical love by resisting retaliation. Can’t wait for his sermon next week on “Love your Enemies” which may end up inspiring a Part 2 on this topic. Hope you stay with me for that one.]

Photo Credit: Heartlight