Category Archives: Lessons Learned

All Good Gifts, Attending or Focus, Character, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Culture & Religion, Dolly Parton, Emotions, Faithfulness, Finishing Strong, Generosity, God, Gospel, Grace, Grief and Loss, Heaven, Holy Spirit, Inspired, Jesus, Legacy, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Love, Love Your Neighbor, Memories, Music, Neighbors, Pray, Rebellion and Sin, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Remembering, Resilience, steadfast love, Transformational, Transitions, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship, Word of God, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Revisiting “The Jesus Way” – Phil Wickham

Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Heartlight

[Adapted from the archives]

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” – John 14:6

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross. – Philippians 2:5-8

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5:22-23

I will always be grateful for Bernie Cantrell. She loved me enough to tell me the truth.

In my 20s, I had fallen in love with a fellow college student, and we dated into his medical school years. Much of it long-distance and all of it out of God’s will for my life. He was Jewish, I was Christian. I don’t know about his mother, but my mother prayed.

Late in our relationship, I remember vividly a night at my women’s discipleship group, all of us sitting on the floor with our Bibles open, in Bernie Cantrell’s living room. They knew about my relationship with this young man. They knew also that my heart was sincere toward the Lord as well. This is what deception can do…you can be fixed on the way of the Jesus but your eyes can blur from misplaced desires, and, before you know it, you find yourself in a ditch.

I don’t remember if we were in John 14 that night, or if it became a kairos moment when Bernie felt the time was right to talk openly and directly to me about my relationship with this young man. She pointed me to the verse:

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” – John 14:6

That night, as she discipled me (all of us) on Jesus being the Way and only in walking in His way will we find Home, the Holy Spirit grabbed my heart anew. Shortly after that, both this boy and I mutually severed our relationship. Done deal. Full stop. No looking back.

He would marry a Jewish woman, and God brought Dave my way.

Now there have been other times in life, when I was tempted to choose my way instead of God’s way for me. Seasons when life was hard and I even questioned my salvation (that particular season was the one of parenting small children – physically exhausting and emotionally overwhelming at times). There were hard seasons when entitlement raised its ugly head and when offenses made me blind with hurt and anger. God’s Word seemed too far out of reach…or beyond my sense of fairness. Misplaced desires tempted me to believe lies over truth.

These days (in our country and occasionally seeping into our church life), we are bombarded by the push and pull of political ideology, cultural swagger, family estrangement, and the sense that God is far away.

Truth: God is NOT far away. We have been drawn off course, but He is as near as a Shepherd’s voice. He is just ahead. His way can be ours again.

I am so thankful for the truth of Scripture. So thankful for friends and family who point me back to Christ when I get distracted or discouraged. So thankful for opportunities when the Lord allows for me to point sweet ones to the way of Jesus.

God tells us that His way is different (higher) than the one we, in our sinful bent, would naturally take. However, when we surrender our lives to Jesus as Lord and Savior, we don’t have to be bound to another way anymore. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can walk in His way. We bear the fruits of the Spirit in this world…on this path. What an amazing life we have, reflecting the humility, mercy, and love that Jesus displayed. How much it profits those around us! How much it pleases God the Father!

The King will answer them, “Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers or sisters, you did it to me.” – Matthew 25:40

Sometimes it’s me who benefits the most – as “one of the least of these”…staying on the way of Jesus. No more being twisted in the wind of Satan’s lies about me and about others.

Earlier this year, Pastor Cliff preached on loving our enemies from Matthew 5:43-48. So good! In the worship play list for that morning, our worship leader Ryan included the Phil Wickham song The Jesus Way.

Jesus’ way is not the way of this world. It is so beautiful and so worth our lives to point in this direction. To walk in His way daily “tapping into a reservoir that is not of this world but for this world” (from Cliff’s message). For our sakes, our neighbors, our children and grandchildren, and our enemies.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship with me.

[Verse 1]
If you curse me, then I will bless you
If you hurt me, I will forgive
And if you hate me, then I will love you
I choose the Jesus way
Oh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[Verse 2]
If you’re helpless, I will defend you (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
If you’re burdened, I’ll share the weight (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
And if you’re hopeless, then let me show you (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
There’s hope in the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Verse 3]
If you strike me, I will embrace you
And if you chain me, I’ll sing His praise
And if you kill me, my home is Heaven
For I choose the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Bridge]
And I choose surrender, I choose to love
Oh God, my Savior, You’ll always be enough
I choose forgiveness, I choose grace
I choose to worship, no matter what I face
I choose the Jesus way, I choose the Jesus way
I choose the Jesus way, I choose the Jesus way

[Chorus]
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way
I follow Jesus, I follow Jesus
He wore my sin, I’ll gladly wear His name
He is the treasure, He is the answer
Oh, I choose the Jesus way
Oh, I choose the Jesus way

[Outro]
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh*

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” – Ephesians 3:20-21

The Jesus Way – Lyrics – Songwriters: Phil Wickham & Jonathan Smith

Faith Behind the Song: “The Jesus Way” – Phil Wickham – by Scott Savage

Just yesterday, an iconic singer/songwriter/philanthropist, Dolly Parton, went to be with the Lord. It made me so sad…not for her now in the presence of her Savior, but for this world a poorer place with her gone.

Photo Credit: Facebook , Thy Flame of Love

If you study her life, you get past all the glitz and even the inspired songwriting, and what you find is a deep and abiding faith in Jesus – across her life, more than not, she chose the Jesus Way.

Practicing the Way – Course & Free Resources on Spiritual Formation

Worship Wednesday – For Christ-Followers – It’s Surrender – Not Self-Improvement – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – First Things First – With Consumed by Fire – Deb Mills

https://www.youtube.com/embed/bpTOcZN9JB4?feature=oembed Bernie CantrellCliff JordanHayden DaumJonathan SmithLove Your EnemiesMovement ChurchPhil WickhamThe Way of JesusWorshipWorship Wednesday

One last song by Dolly – sung at our Chad‘s funeral – “I Will Always Love You”

All Good Gifts, Anxiety, Attending or Focus, Bible, Books, Communication, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Depression, Emotions, Fear, Finishing Strong, fresh start, Healing, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lifelong Learning, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Redeeming & Restoring, Transformational, Word of God

Monday Morning Moment – Rewiring Our Brain – from Lies to Truth

Leave a comment

Photo Credit: David N. Johnson

What we think and then speak about ourselves (and others) can, with repetition, become hard-wired in our brains. This function, of which you may be familiar, is neuroplasticity. It’s super helpful with new work tasks, habit formation, and learning to play an instrument, for instance. The tricky thing about neuroplasticity is that it also is engaged when we repeat things that aren’t necessarily true about how we see ourselves or the world around us.

I follow Erika, a Christian neuroscience coach, on Instagram and Facebook. She recently posted a clear and practical guide to how we can consciously rewire our brain, especially when we’ve allowed negative (essentially untruthful) thoughts and comments take us to a dark place.

She should write a blog or Substack, but I haven’t found one yet. So below please find her well-studied take on “mind over matter (brain)”.

Erika writes: “Neuroscience shows us that: thought + emotion + repetition strengthens a neural pathway.”

She writes for Christians, but honestly, her 8 practices for rewiring our brains are noteworthy for anyone desiring to clear their thinking:

  1. Notice the thought. Think about what you’re thinking about. At times we say things that if checked and sorted we know aren’t true; they are just how we feel at the moment. Not facts but feelings.
  2. Identify the lie. Because of repetition, you may have thoughts that have taken up residence in your brain for so long (neuroplasticity), they seem true. You may need help, through prayer or with a trusted friend, to assess whether you have held onto a lie – about yourself or others.
  3. Take the thought captive. One of my favorite Bible verses is 2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” Even if a thought or opinion has long been lodged in our minds, we don’t have to preserve it. With help from God or a friend, we can acknowledge a thought that is simply not true and begin the work of isolating it and ridding it from our minds. Rewiring our brain and altering a neural pathway.
  4. Replace the lie with God’s truth. What an amazing guide for life is the Word of God! Wisdom for all of us. If you aren’t a believer, sort out what is really true vs. what has taken up squatter’s rights in your brain – hurting you rather than healing you. For Christians, we look for what is true in the Bible and replace the lie with the truth. It will require its own repetition to rewire our thinking. So worth it. “Is not my word like fire, declares the LORD, and like a hammer that breaks the rock in pieces?” – Jeremiah 23:29
  5. Preach the truth to yourself. When a lie sets up residence in our brains, we have to use repetition to unseat it. Speaking what is true over the lie will put neuroplasticity in a higher gear. I love what Erika says here: “Your mouth reinforces what your mind believes”.
  6. Keep renewing your mind. The old cortisol-filled thoughts aren’t going to go away easily. When they rise up, remember to speak/think what is actually true. The negative thoughts will fade. The Bible talks about “renewing the mind” (Romans 12:2) It is an ongoing practice.
  7. Stay consistent when nothing seems to change. Again, those negative thoughts, those lies, may have embedded over years. The neural pathways are strong. Don’t be discouraged that change takes time. “Don’t mistake slow progress for no progress.” I’m a visual learner. Sometimes for me, it takes written cues on my keyboard, in my journal, on my kitchen counter, in my car. [OK, I can be a slow learner, too.] So thankful for truth that sets my captive brain free!
  8. Build a Godly fortress in your mind. If you have dark days or you struggle with thoughts that overwhelm you, if you can’t resist speaking out contempt for yourself or others, you need to build fortification against such thoughts which turn into words. When we allow our brains to be wired with negative, hateful thoughts, we can rid ourselves of those thoughts. However, we also have to replace them with what is true (Matthew 12:43-45). Building a fortress takes work, but, over time, it is that amazing rewiring of our neural pathways and setting in motion a very different neuroplasticity. So worth the work!

Erika at Nourished and Rooted on Instagram

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy, Laozi

You Become Your Thoughts – Erika – Nourished and Rooted – Instagram

You Become Your Thoughts – Erika – Nourished & Rooted – Facebook

Dr. Lee Warren Podcast – excellent resource – on all things mind/brain – Christian neurosurgeon – brilliant and and easy to engage

The Life-changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery – Dr. W. Lee Warren, MD

Brainwork: The Power of Neuroplasticity

Neuroplasticity and Cognitive Restructuring – Sydney Ceruto Ph.D.

Addictions, Addictive Personality, Attending or Focus, Attitude, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Decision-making, Emotions, Finishing Strong, fresh start, Grace, Habits, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Recovery, Redeeming & Restoring, Relationships, Resilience, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Words

Monday Morning Moment – The Addictive Nature of Complaining and Breaking the Cycle

Leave a comment

Photo Credit: The Joy Within, Kyle Greenfield

Could I be complaining about complaining? Not at all. Having already written about it twice before (and not counting my pieces on negative thinking), why revisit it?

Here’s why.

Complaining is bad for us. It actually rewires the brain into thinking our complaints are current reality. Whatever has riled us up in the recent (or not so recent) past stirs up cortisol excretion (a stress hormone). Then as we process our complaint with a sympathetic listener, we actually then get a hit of dopamine. This positive effect of complaining is the pathway to habit. In fact, the brain will default to complaining in the future, rather than positive problem-solving or exercising gratitude for the good over the bad.

If, however, our processing a complicated or stressful situation helps us to get to a positive solution, the brain responds accordingly. This should be much more satisfying than habitual complaining which is personally depressing as well as depressing to others. There are rewards in complaining if it engenders sympathy maybe or gets us out of responsibilities, but those “rewards” turn into negatives when complaining becomes habitual and drives people away. This is not to say complaining should be silenced. We need to process hard things. The problem with complaining is when it becomes the end-goal.

The Psychological Harm of Complaining – Bence Nanay Ph.D.

It is quite sobering actually to consider all that’s written these days (see below) about the neurological changes that can come from repetitive behaviors, such as complaining. Fortunately, reversing this is possible.

High Focus Centers are treatment programs across multiple US states. Their focus is out-patient care for substance abuse and psychiatric disorders/issues. The following is a substantive excerpt from their article on the addictive nature of complaining, its physiological and relational harm, and the benefit of shifting complaining to a healthier mindset in 5 steps. 5 steps! Worth the read and your consideration, if you struggle with complaining or love someone who does.

“The purpose of the complaint often isn’t to fix anything…It’s about drawing attention—maybe to feel seen, validated or pitied. Over time, this loop of discomfort → complaint → attention can become addictive, providing a false sense of control, significance or identity…Victim mentality is a pattern of thinking where a person sees themselves as perpetually wronged by others or by life itself. They may believe they are ‘good’ or ‘right,’ and that any problem in their life is caused by other people who are ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’..At its core, victim mentality keeps someone trapped in blame. It externalizes every challenge and prevents personal growth, because it shifts responsibility away from the self.”

“Just like substance use or compulsive behaviors, complaining can offer short-term relief. It may feel good to vent, to be validated or to be the center of concern. But over time, this habitual negativity can actually rewire the brain, reinforcing pessimism, resentment and passivity.

Photo Credit: ThinkLink

Here’s why complaining can feel addictive:

  • Dopamine hits: When someone receives sympathy or attention after complaining, it can activate the brain’s reward system.
  • Identity reinforcement: Constantly viewing oneself as the victim can create a strong sense of self—though unhealthy, it’s familiar and consistent.
  • Avoidance of responsibility: Complaining and blaming protect someone from having to make changes, take risks or face uncomfortable truths.
  • Social bonding: In some circles, shared complaining becomes a social glue—even though it reinforces negativity.

Unfortunately, these perceived ‘benefits’ come at a high cost: chronic stress, broken relationships, low self-esteem and an inability to build lasting inner peace.”

Is Complaining an Addiction? Understanding the Trap of Victim Mentality – High Focus Treatment Centers

Shifting from Complaining to Empowerment

“Escaping the cycle of complaining and victimhood begins with awareness. If you find yourself constantly focused on what’s wrong—without seeking solutions—it may be time to ask: What am I hoping to gain from this?

Here are some strategies to begin shifting your mindset:

  1. Notice the Pattern

Start by tracking your complaints. What triggers them? Are you seeking connection, pity or a sense of righteousness?

  1. Ask: “Can I fix this?”

If the answer is yes, take action. If the answer is no, explore acceptance. Complaining about things you can’t or won’t change is a drain on your energy.

  1. Reframe, Don’t Deny

You don’t have to pretend everything is fine. But try reframing: instead of “I hate this heat,” say, “This heat is uncomfortable—maybe I’ll get a fan or find some shade.”

  1. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is the antidote to victimhood. Regularly recognizing what’s going well helps train your brain to seek out the positive.

  1. Get Support

If complaining and blame feel like your default mode, it may be time to explore why. Often, these patterns are rooted in trauma, insecurity or learned helplessness. Working with a therapist can help uncover those roots and replace them with healthier coping tools.“

Is Complaining an Addiction? Understanding the Trap of Victim Mentality – High Focus Treatment Centers

Bottom line: Complaining is bad for you and can become habitual. It can become relational second-hand smoke, harming you and those around you. Ironically, this habit can be transformed, like any other, with great positive impact on your brain. Let’s get after it!

Monday Morning Moment – Don’t Let Complaining Rewire Your Brain – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Complaining Rewires Your Brain – How to Curb (Maybe Not Stop) Complaining – Deb Mills

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain Toward Negativity – ThinkLink – Super quick read and super helpful as well!

How Complaining Rewires Your Brain – Brain Performance

Chronic Complaining: Examining Its Relationship to Mental Health

The Truth About Complaining – Kyle Greenfield

Is Complaining Good for You? Therapists Explain [The Answer Is Surprising] – Brina Patel

Complaining and Your Brain: 4 Surprising Effects

Why Complaining is Addictive – Dr. Gloria Lee

How Negative Thinking Destroys Your Relationship – Dr. Gloria Lee

Is Complaining an Addiction? Find Out! Take the One-Day “Abstain from Complain” Challenge – Dr. Michael Ceely

Why Do I Complain So Much? Understanding the Psychology of Negativity

The Pros and Cons of Complaining – Barbara Frazier

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy

America, Attending or Focus, Attitude, Character, Church, Community, Conversations, Culture & Religion, Faithfulness, Fear, Finishing Strong, Forgiveness, fresh start, Glory of God, God, God the Father, Gospel, Grace, Healing, Inspired, Jesus, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Love Your Neighbor, Music, Obedience, Pray, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship, Worship

Worship Wednesday – National Day of Prayer – “If My People”

Leave a comment

Photo Credit: The Grace Blog, Jason White

“If My people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” – 2 Chronicles 7:14

On May 7, U. S. churches and Christian organizations (even some in our government and among other religions) will set aside time to observe the National Day of Prayer. We are called to put our political and ethnic differences aside and to seek God’s healing of our country.

National Day of Prayer – Prayer Guide (pdf) – The Shepherd’s Church

The verse above from 2 Chronicles is often quoted. It’s a beautiful promise, conditioned on the response of the people of Israel in ancient times. Does it apply today to believers in America?

Below find commentary by two theologians answering this question. Their answers surprised me a bit, the fact being I am NOT a theologian. However, as you read their answers, remember that God speaks to all of us through all of His Word. As He led His people then, He leads His people now. He calls us to humble ourselves, to pray, to seek Him, and to repent from our evil doing. We can’t rest on our political leanings; we can’t trust in human guardians of our nation’s well-being (over the Sovereign keeping of God Himself); we can’t carry hatred or pride in our hearts without thought of the consequences. We who follow Christ aim to submit to His ways and His word on all things…with His help.

“In context, 2 Chronicles 7:14 is a promise to ancient Israel (and perhaps even modern-day Israel) that, if they will repent and return to the Lord, He will rescue them. However, many Christians in the United States have taken this verse as a rallying cry for America. (Perhaps Christians in other countries have done so as well.) In this interpretation, Christians are the people who are called by God’s name. If Christians will humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face, and repent, then God will heal their land—often a moral and political healing is in view as well as economic healing. The question is whether or not this is a proper interpretation/application.

The United States does not have the same covenant relationship with God that ancient Israel enjoyed. The covenant with Israel was unique and exclusive. The terms that applied to Israel simply did not apply to any other nation, and it is improper for these terms to be co-opted and applied to a different nation. When 2 Chronicles 7:14 is applied to Christians in the U.S. or any other modern nation, it is usually with the understanding that the Christians in that nation—the true believers in Jesus Christ who have been born again by the Spirit of God—will comprise the righteous remnant. God never promised that if a righteous remnant repents and prays for their nation, that the nation will be saved. Perhaps if national repentance occurred, then God would spare a modern nation as He spared Nineveh at the preaching of Jonah (see Jonah 3)—but that is a different issue.

Having said that, it is never wrong to confess our sins and pray—in fact, it is our duty as believers to continuously confess and forsake our sins so that they will not hinder us (Hebrews 12:1) and to pray for our nation and those in authority (1 Timothy 2:1–2). It may be that God in His grace will bless our nation as a result—but there is no guarantee of national deliverance. Even if God did use our efforts to bring about national repentance and revival, there is no guarantee that the nation would be politically or economically saved. As believers, we are guaranteed personal salvation in Christ (Romans 8:1), and we are also guaranteed that God will use us to accomplish His purposes, whatever they may be. It is our duty as believers to live holy lives, seek God, pray, and share the gospel knowing that all who believe will be saved, but the Bible does not guarantee the political, cultural, or economic salvation of our nation.” – Got Questions

Worship with me. We have God’s Word and His wisdom leading us into repentance, for our good and His glory. If God chooses, He may heal our land, but most importantly, for us, is our joyful and hopeful submission to His rule and reign in our lives. Still…this beautiful Imperials rendition of 2 Chronicles 7:14 is a call to prayer and repentance for us Christ followers, no matter the outcome. [I’ve loved this song for many years and still get goosebumps, singing along with the Imperials. Enjoy.]

If My people
Which are called by My name
Shall humble themselves
Shall humble themselves and pray
If My people
Which are called by My name
Shall seek My face
And turn from their wicked ways

Then will I hear from heaven
Then will I hear from heaven
Then will I hear and will forgive
Forgive their sin

If My people
Which are called by My name
Shall humble themselves
Shall humble themselves and pray
I will forgive their sin
I will forgive their sin
I will forgive their sin
And heal their land

If My people
Which are called by My name
Shall humble themselves
Shall humble themselves
Shall humble themselves and pray*

“If there was ever anyone who had humbled themselves, prayed, sought the Lord, and turned from their wicked ways, it was the disciples and the early church.  But did they receive healing for their land? No, they received persecution.  They were threatened, and some were even thrown in jail for their faith.  Eventually most were even scattered from their land (Acts 8:1-3).

But despite all these terrible situations and circumstances in their lives, they were blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3).  They had the peace and abundant life of Christ. And this is the promise for all who believe.  We don’t have to find economic and political healing in our land to enjoy God’s blessings.  Our blessings are found in a Person.

Does that mean we shouldn’t pray for our country and hope things get better?

Absolutely not!  We can love our country and be thankful we get to live here.  We can be grateful for the men and women who sacrificed their lives to protect our freedom.  We can pray for our country and hope things get better. But as we pray for our country, our ultimate hope is not that our lives get more comfortable through prosperity but that more people come to know Jesus and the abundant life that can only be found in Him.” – Jason White

*Lyrics to “If My People” – Songwriter: Jimmy Owens, as sung by The Imperials

What Is the Meaning of 2 Chronicles 7:14? – Got Questions

Anxiety, Attending or Focus, Books, Community, Courage, Cross-Cultural, Crucifixion, Culture & Religion, Easter and Lent, Emotions, Fear, Finishing Strong, Forgiveness, God the Father, Grace, Grief and Loss, Holidays, Jesus, Lamb of God, Legacy, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Love, Music, Obedience, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Remembering, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transformational, Walk with God, Worship

Jesus and Holy Week – Day 7 – Black Saturday – the Silent Tomb

Leave a comment
http://debmillswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Blog-Holy-Week-Black-Saturday.jpg

Photo Credit: Catholiclane.com – Garden Tomb, Jerusalem

[Adapted from the Archives]

This is the morning of exhausted grief. Jesus, the Messiah, God’s Sent One; His Only Son lay dead in a tomb. Dead. How is this possible?

The disciples, his family, those followers whose lives were completely transformed must have been numb with the stark reality that he was not with them…not on that Saturday. What would they do without him? What would happen to them? What? What?…Why?

There is only one scriptural reference to this day and it related to the threat of Jesus’ power and influence, even in death:

The next day, that is, after the day of Preparation, the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered before Pilate and said, “Sir, we remember how that impostor said, while he was still alive, ‘After three days I will rise.’ Therefore order the tomb to be made secure until the third day, lest his disciples go and steal him away and tell the people, ‘He has risen from the dead,’ and the last fraud will be worse than the first.” Pilate said to them, “You have a guard of soldiers. Go, make it as secure as you can.” So they went and made the tomb secure by sealing the stone and setting a guard. – Matthew 27:62-66

For the Jews, days begin and end at sundown. Most probably this visit with Pilate occurred Friday night. At his command, guards were placed. The tomb was sealed. Jesus would be no more trouble…or so they thought, in their ignorance.

He is dead: this man from Nazareth, the Messiah of Israel, the Lord of the world.

With His dying breaths, He spoke words of forgiveness, finality, and faith.

But now the breathing has ceased, and the lungs that exhaled forgiveness are deflated. My Jesus – dead.* – Trevin Wax

Read the rest of his poem here.

[Inserting here a talk done on Good Friday by a friend of ours – her topic was “What does the cross change?” – fitting for today – then after her talk, I will close on Black Saturday.]

“What does the cross change?

“Everything” is perhaps our knee jerk reaction. The cross changes everything. But that can’t be right when we worship an unchanging God. God did not change at the cross. He was perfectly just before the cross and remains perfectly just today and will be perfectly just forever. He was perfectly loving before the cross, he remains perfectly loving, and he will be perfectly loving forever. He was sovereign, is sovereign, and will be sovereign forever. God did not change at the cross. 

I think to see what changed we have to go back much earlier than Jesus’ lifetime. We have to go back to Eden. God created a perfect garden with a man and a woman and plants and animals. It was an oasis, idyllic, peaceful. And by peaceful I don’t mean free from worry or stress. I mean the hearts of Adam and Eve were at peace with God. It’s hard to imagine that. Hard to imagine no shame, fear, uncertainty. Hard to imagine walking and talking with God, completely vulnerable, knowing you were free from any sort of culpability. Adam and Eve were at peace with God, each other, and themselves.

Then they went to war with God. And each of us makes that same decision, to go to war with God, to sin against him and against our nature as image-bearers. We do not choose peace or freedom, we choose war and shame, darkness and loneliness. When I say war I mean we declare that there must be bloodshed. There must be death. Sin is a declaration that we will not live as God intended. God intended perfect peace. He intended that we all walk with Him, unashamed, in the light. We sin and we disrupt that plan. We may not desire the outcome of that sin, which is death, but the outcome is unavoidable.

So Adam and Eve sinned and that perfect peace was shattered and the cross became inevitable. As we read through the Old Testament, the cross feels like it’s in every story. We see God using men and women to foreshadow what is to come, the perfect prophet, priest, judge, shepherd, and king. We read the Old Testament and we see all the plans God set in motion to reach the cross. What we see also is imperfection. Imperfect prophets, judges, shepherds, and kings. Imperfect sacrifices leading to imperfect relationships. God is with His people but they cannot be at peace with him like they were in the Garden. 

So, does the cross take us backward, to Eden? No. There’s no going back to Eden. That’s not the plan. 

The cross is the culmination of the battle that started in Eden. We declared war in the garden and Jesus Christ declared victory at the cross. Oh death, where is your sting? We can ask that because the battle is over. Jesus Christ conquered death and we who believe have the promise of eternal life, starting today.

It’s strange though. It doesn’t feel over. I don’t feel at peace. Not with God, or others, or myself. It feels like the battle is very much ongoing and it often feels like I’m losing. So, what has the cross really changed?

I’m reminded of my favorite passage in the Bible, which is where Jesus is walking on water and Peter calls out to Him and Jesus says come. It’s an amazing story in so many ways but I’m always struck by the fact that Peter sinks and, it seems, is going to drown. Even with Jesus standing right there, standing on water exhibiting power over nature, declaring he is God, Peter is sinking under the waves. Jesus saves him, of course. But I imagine Peter, while grateful, was a bit unnerved by the sinking part. I’m reminded of this story because the reality of this Earth is that, while God is sovereign and He has won the battle over death, we do not live in Eden. We do not live in the new heaven and new Earth. We are waiting for Jesus Christ to return and while we wait, we will struggle. We’ll perhaps almost drown as we try to walk with God. But because of the cross, we will walk as freely as Adam and Eve walked with God. Death no longer has a hold on us.

So, we have victory over death because of the cross, which is our hope for the future. But what do we cling to in this daily battle? What else does the cross give us today?

I’d like to talk about just one thing. 

When God looked at His Son, He was pleased. It’s such an amazing thought. That God looked from heaven at a man and was pleased. Picture it. Jesus is a man on Earth and God looks at him and addresses him and says He is pleased with him. That’s what the cross changes for us. When God looks at you who believe, He does not see your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. He sees you, an individual He created in your mother’s womb whom He has loved from the beginning of time. But instead of your sin, He sees Christ’s holiness. And He says, this is my daughter, in whom I am well pleased. This is my son, in whom I am well pleased. Imagine it. The sight of you pleases God. The cross means that we no longer have a broken and distorted relationship with God because we, unlike any person living before the cross, are holy in God’s eyes. No matter how putrid our sin is, no matter how many times we have declared war with God. For those who believe and repent, we can walk in the light, free from the burden of our sin. Like Adam and Eve, we walk with God in peace. Like Jesus, God looks at us and is pleased. I pray you can feel that today. Feel that God knows you, knows your name and your face and sees you and is as pleased to see you as He is to see His own Son. Not because you’re obedient or you are bursting with the fruit of the spirit. To believe that your good deeds can make up for putting Jesus Christ on the cross with your sin is folly. Our sin led to the death of God’s one and only begotten Son. We cannot make up for that with our good behavior. To try and do so is to deny Christ’s sacrifice. 

The cross takes that burden away and replaces it with freedom. We are free to walk in peace with God and to know and feel that God is pleased with us because of the cross.

So what does the cross change? Us.” – Amanda, Good Friday reading, Sideris Church

We have the great knowledge of the risen Christ, but his followers, on that Saturday, only had dim recollection of his words of promise. Shrouded in grief, they found themselves quite “in between” – in between the death of their Savior and the life of his glorious promises.

Another dear friend of ours, Beth, shared this message by John Ortberg from a conference where he spoke on Black Saturday, well, “Saturdays” in general. He describes so well this day in between.

“Saturday – the day between the crucifixion and the resurrection. What do you think the disciples were doing on Saturday? Here they have seen their friend and their Master killed the day before but also have this vague promise, which probably seemed ludicrous at the time that he would rise again. Most of life is Saturday…It`s waiting in faith and hanging onto the promise that God is going to come through for us in spite of how bad things look. Most of life is Saturday. — I don`t know where you are this Holy Week. Maybe you`re in a Palm Sunday kind of mood wanting God to get on board with an agenda and maybe he will, but if he doesn’t, know that his plans are always good…Maundy Thursday means that God loves us no matter how dirty our uniform gets from the game of life. Maybe you`re in a Saturday kind of place – between a hard time and a promise you only half believe. Know this for sure that God`s Easter irony is still at work, and he can use even the worst tragedies for good, and he always has at least one more move left. No matter how bleak and dark Saturday gets, Sunday`s coming, and it`s coming sooner than you think. “ – John Ortberg

http://debmillswriter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Blog-Garden-Tomb-from-imb.org-Holy-Week-Black-Saturday.jpgPhoto Credit: IMB Resources

Saturday is the “in between day”. Did those who loved Jesus most remember this? Was their grief so consuming, so deafening to His promises, so numbing there was no room for hope? We have the great experience of knowing, for sure, that Sunday is coming!

Today is the waiting day.

We wait like schoolchildren for the final bell.

We wait with tapping foot, huffing breath, rolling eyes.

We wait like a mother for the gushing of birth water.

We wait like branches holding pink petaled secrets.

We wait with tears of frustration or eyes filled with anger.

We wait with tears of joy or eyes wide with wonder.

In the waiting rooms of life, our hope is mixed, our longings more so. But still, we wait. Forgive us for our impatience, Lord. We believe, help our unbelief.

We carry the sorrow of loss even as we hold on to hope of gain. We watch and we wait for your resurrection life. Even though we may not see the evidence, we wait with hope.

Because today is the waiting day.  – Emily P. Freeman

The Day Jesus Stayed Dead – Waiting in the Heartache of Holy Saturday – Gerrit Scott Dawson, Desiring God

YouTube Video of John Ortberg on “Saturdays” – American Association of Christian Counselors Conference, October 2011 – So good!!! (starting 5 minutes in)

*My Jesus – Dead by Trevin Wax

On This Holy Saturday: Here at the End of All Things (Triduum Series) – Tea with Tolkien

YouTube Video – Jesus Paid It All (lyric video) – Fernando Ortega

YouTube Video – How Deep the Father’s Love For Us written by Stuart Townend – with David Wesley

YouTube Video with lyrics – In Christ Alone  written by Stuart Townend & Keith Getty

Addictions, America, Attending or Focus, Attitude, Character, Community, Conversations, Courage, Critical Thinking, Cross-Cultural, Culture & Religion, Decision-making, Disciplines, Emotions, Fear, Finishing Strong, Forgiveness, Inspired, Jesus, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Lifelong Learning, Love Your Neighbor, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Pray, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Transformational, Walk with God

Monday Moment Morning – How Can We Keep From Hating?

1 Comment

Photo Credit: Heartlight

This weekend, we in the State of Virginia had our governor’s inauguration. It was another occasion of either relief and elation or concern and consternation. Our state and nation remains polarized in so many ways.

Can we disagree politically, philosophically, or ideologically…without hating each other?

We are in a season of hating or aligning with whole people groups. Maybe, in all of history, we have such seasons. A season where, if we aren’t careful, we hate a whole group of people or we love that same group, thereby putting us in grave opposition to the “haters”. At least, the news and social media platforms are telling us this is the case.

Whole people groups – be they Somalis, Afghans, Republicans, Democrats, Jews, Evangelical Christians. Whole people groups.

How can we keep from hating?

Maybe an even more core question: do we even want to keep from hating? What do we think is gained by hating another or a group of others?

Oddly, hating people can feel good. We feel justified in hating. Even morally superior. The dilemma here is that hating begets hating. Neuroplasticity is the process in our brain where negative thoughts, and resulting actions, become hard-wired, having a negative impact on our physical and mental health over time.

The Neuroscience of Hate: Why It Feels Good to Be Angry

The Power of Hate and Its Consequences – Andrew Mathews

I don’t want to simplify or downplay the reasons one might have to hate, but the devastating effects of it in our culture, community, families (and in our own brains) are worth taking a step back and considering.

Briefly, here are some actions to consider:

  1. Call to mind the possibility that I hate someone/some peoples. “Check your heart” is a common refrain in my life. If I’m honest, are there persons/people whose actions, or personalities, offend me? Do my speech and attitude betray my hatred? Does this hatred feel justified? If so, do I give myself a pass for feeling such a strong negative emotion?
  2. Consider what is below the surface of my hatred. Do I consider what I feel to be righteous anger? Is it righteous if it moves me toward hatred? In defending the rights of one group of people against another, am I committing the same injustice toward “the offending group” as I see being directed to the one I care more about? Or is fear what stirs me to hate? Or unfairness? We can have any number of reasons to hate. Addressing those reasons (with help, if necessary), brings our hatred more into the light. It doesn’t mean that we don’t seek change in the culture, but with greater care, compassion, and even empathy.
  3. Seek understanding by leaning in to persons whose groups we are tempted to hate. Real, flesh-and-blood, face-to-face conversations can soften our tendency to hate. Asking questions, listening with care, resisting the temptation to argue, leaving the door open for understanding. This is a huge step toward stopping the hate. For those who pray, beginning to pray for that person can grease the tracks for you to love them – pray for her/his needs to be met, for protection and peace, for paths forward that don’t further divide us.

Photo Credit: QuoteFancy, Margaret Walker

8 Ideas for Managing Hatred – Michael Karson, Ph.D., J.D. – Psychology Today

4. Recognize that hating what is evil is different than hating people. Hatred dehumanizes people. Remember the persons with whom we disagree have children, parents, jobs, their own hopes, fears and strivings – just like us. They may even have a faith similar to ours…but the issue has overcome us/them and has pushed itself into paramount position. Extinguishing civility. We may actually agree on a wrong, if we acknowledge that we’re all trying to sort out the right path forward.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

5. For those of us who are believers, we have no leave to hate. For Christians, we are called by Christ Jesus to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). When hating becomes a habit, especially of a particular people group, we lose our way. Thinking it is almost our duty to hate. We have to guard against self-deceit.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Peter D. Kaufman, brilliant and highly successful businessman, gives wise counsel in this for all of us: “Go positive and go first, and be constant in doing it.” Determine to love, resist hating, don’t wait for the other person, and in every conversation and encounter, be constant in this effort.

The Multi-disciplinary Approach to Thinking – Peter Kaufman

Young businessman, world-changer Mitchell Wilson recalls Kaufman’s use of the phrase mirrored reciprocation. How this applies is when we engage others with love, listening as we seek understanding, being gentle where we disagree, we often get the same responses in return.

Wilson writes: “Peter doesn’t go into this in his speech [above], but I can’t help but think of Jesus’s core teachings that relate to the principle of mirrored reciprocation:

  • Love your neighbor as yourself
  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
  • Forgive those who trespass against you
  • Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy
  • Turn the other cheek”

Mirrored Reciprocation: Peter Kaufman’s Profoundly Simple Insight That Helps You Achieve An Enjoyable Life | Blog

6. Don’t give up on developing the habit of loving instead of hating. This is definitely a spiritual disciple and a habit worthy of pursuing. Peter Kaufman also has counsel, from his talk above The most powerful force that could be potentially harnessed is dogged incremental constant progress over a very long time frame. We are going to have to fight against hating, especially if we have allowed it to take up real estate in our minds. However, as with anything worth mastering, the work needed to keep from hating will yield its fruit…if we don’t give up.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

[This blog was inspired by recent, terrible events in our country and also by the sermon at Movement Church yesterday. Our pastor Cliff unpacked Matthew 5:38-42 (YouTube video linked; image below) about showing radical love by resisting retaliation. Can’t wait for his sermon next week on “Love your Enemies” which may end up inspiring a Part 2 on this topic. Hope you stay with me for that one.]

Photo Credit: Heartlight

All Good Gifts, Brothers, Courage, Faithfulness, Fathers, Finishing Strong, Heaven, Inspired, Leadership, Legacy, Lessons Learned, Lifelong Learning, Memories, Relationships, Remembering, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Wednesday Worship, work, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Grieving and Celebrating – with the Help of Ullie Kaye Poetry

4 Comments

Photo Credit: Heartlight

[Names withheld for privacy’s sake ]

The great transitions of life, as we get older, stagger us at times. This week we have experienced the death of a friend and the retirement of a faithful worker. It has given pause to reflect on their lives and remember how valuable life, work, and relationships are.

Our friend who died earlier this week is also part of our family, being the dad to our sweet daughter-in-law. His parting was too sudden, the result of cancer that took an aggressive turn just in a matter of weeks. We share grandchildren with him. He is dear to them, and, thusly, dear to us.

We are thankful for the time we have had with him but wanted more. He longed for more time with these little grands, but what he had would have to suffice. He had a generous heart and they knew him that way. They prayed for him every day which moved us to pray better for him.

His passing is still shocking for us, happening so quickly, but we take comfort in this Bible verse: “Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6)

Photo Credit: Ullie Kaye Poetry, Facebook

[Grandpa and his two precious grands]

[Dad, beloved Daughter & Son-in-law]

Photo Credit: Ullie Kaye Poetry, Facebook

Photo Credit: Scars in Heaven, Deb Mills Writer

The other transition in life that was halting to us was the retirement of a long-time friend. Over 30 years in international work. He and his amazing wife have been so faithful and focused in the work that God gave them. No “looking back over the plow” (Luke 9:62) for these two. Retirement will definitely advance differently in this friend’s life. His boss even said, on his retirement, “The Energizer bunny only has an on/off switch”. No real slow down for this one until God says (way, way down the road hopefully) “Well done, good and faithful servant”.

[On one of his many adventures some call work]

[Our “retiring friend” and his awesome wife who is his counterpart – strong, kind, and loving – a true partner in the work]

Photo Credit: Ullie Kaye Poetry, Facebook

Ullie Kaye Poetry has been a constant read for me this week in grieving and celebrating. She clearly knows the experience of grieving, and of celebrating people we love, and of honoring the God who “carries mountains”.

[This friend and our daughter who has known his influence]

[Friends & Family celebrating his life’s work]

Photo Credit: Ullie Kaye Poetry, Facebook

These two men – different and yet similar – loved and appreciated. We will miss the one until Heaven. We will miss the other as they move away to another work. We hold both in our hearts and will never forget what we have learned and gained from each. God is good…all the time.

Photo Credit: Ullie Kaye Poetry, Facebook

Abuse, All Good Gifts, Anger, Attending or Focus, Attitude, Books, Brothers, Communication, Conversations, Courage, Critical Thinking, Culture & Religion, Decision-making, Faithfulness, Fathers, Finishing Strong, Forgiveness, fresh start, Grace, Healing, Inspired, Jesus, Kindness, Lessons Learned, Lifelong Learning, Lives Full of God, Love, Love Your Neighbor, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Pray, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Redeeming & Restoring, Relationships

Monday Morning Moment – Offense Revisited

Leave a comment

[Adapted from the Archives – Monday Morning Moment – Offense, Being Offended, and Taking Up Offense]

Processing thoughts on the difficult subject of offending and being offended, a song drifts into my hearing from Dave’s office. He is riding his bike (on a trainer) to a playlist that matches his ride (slow/fast/slow). This particular song pounding into my head is rock band The Eagles‘ Get Over It. [Dave will also pull that song up on the occasion he recognizes he’s having a pity party.]

I’ve had some great friends in my life who have spoken reason to me in times when something said or done to me (or to someone I cared about) offended. “Get over it!” was actually a helpful “slap” into reality for me. Reminds me of that old commercial, “Thanks! I needed that.”

The motivation for this piece is walking alongside people I love who have been deeply offended and don’t see a way to get past it. Offenses are hard, especially if they seem intentional.

We still have a choice. We can choose not to be offended…whether it felt the seeming offense was directed toward us or we are tempted to take up offense for another.

Author Desirée M. Mondesir writes a “slap to the face” piece on our culture’s move to looking for and taking up offense. It’s especially fascinating to me because she refers to a student revolt at Yale University. Having taught there years ago, I can see this gradual evolution from reason to riot. It’s a stunning change in society and we are none immune to it.

A Sign of the Last Days – Offense – Desirée M. Mondesir

Mondesir refers to this cultural shift as being a sign of end times.

“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved.” – Jesus – Matthew 24:10-13

Sure sounds like today’s culture, in the US anyway.

Writer and counselor John Bevere has written a fascinating book on offense entitled The Bait of Satan: Living Free From the Deadly Trap of Offense. The title put me off at first but in reading it, the whole issue of offense is highlighted as something that turns us inward and keeps us from healthy relationships with one another and with God. When you think about it, Eve, in the first pages of the Torah/Old Testament [Genesis 3:2-7], was the first of humankind to act in offense. In her conversation with the Serpent tempter, she reacted to the Serpent’s suggestion, questioning the instruction (and the goodness) of God. To me, it demonstrates her taking offense that she would be drawn into Satan’s ruse. Even acting in rebellion, presuming God didn’t mean good toward her. She decided for herself to eat from the tree (the one tree God had forbidden), and the consequences of her choosing continue to today.

What could Eve have done differently? She could have trusted God’s heart toward her. If she fell into doubt (through Satan’s cunning argument), she could have sought out the Creator first before she acted on a lie.

When Eve acted in this way, and took the bait, we can see how we, too, can be drawn in – becoming disoriented by someone’s words or deeds, and forgetting what is really the truth of the matter. Our emotions fly away with us, and we bind ourselves in the chains of offense.

Joe Levi puts it this way:

“Someone else cannot “offend” you – however, you can choose whether or not to take offense at something someone says or does.

Someone else cannot make you mad, happy, sad, or offended – you, and you alone can control how you react to the world around you.

Learn and apply that one relatively simple lesson, and you’ll be much happier in life.”

We may not be able to choose our immediate emotion over a word or action perceived as against us, but we can develop a habit or discipline to determine NOT to take offense.

Currently, the news media is having a hey-day with sound-bytes and interviews hand-picked to incite offense.

We can choose not to take the bait.

Photo Credit: Quote Fancy, Bryant Mcgill

As for personal situations, people who offend do not always mean to offend. [I don’t say this lightly. Of course, there are those who do. I also am not talking about abuse here. That is a whole other topic, but the principles still apply.] No one knows truly what’s inside us that gives us struggle, not even ourselves. Like the Mcgill quote states, it’s only in our response that we discover that which is still unresolved. Reacting in self-defense or in counter-attack mode brings more hurt. “Hurt people hurt people.” With practice, I can determine not to carry hurt away from a conversation or interaction.

In situations between two people, we can choose not to be offended, but how do we deal with the offense?

Advisor Charles H. Green describes the offender and the offended. He gives excellent counsel in his article Being Offensive vs. Being Offended – and Trust:

  • The offender communicates disrespect. A social violation occurs. Two people are involved and the resolution of that interaction requires input from both of them. When the one offended determines to engage in good faith, trying to seek understanding and rebuild trust, s/he may actually discover the intent of the offending person. A misunderstanding or an action following a perceived threat on the part of the offender may be the issue rather than an intent to hurt.
  • On the side of the one offended, this is not a social situation. It is deeply personal. Only the one offended knows the extent of the offending words/actions. For this reason, the offended person can refuse to think ill of the offender…and not take offense. Then take steps toward reconciliation or, if that’s not possible, make a personal decision not to be hurt by that person. This is not easy…especially at first in training one’s responses.
  • “The answer is a little paradoxical: We should strive not to offend or disrespect others. At the same time, we should also strive to not feel offended, or disrespected, for long. In other words, we should strive to be kind socially, and to feel free psychologically.”
  • Forgiveness opens the door wide to reconciliation. Forgiveness can defuse the hurt. Boundaries may come into play, but if the boundaries are built out of fear, dread, anger, or hatred, we are still not free from offense.

My biological father abandoned us long before my mom left him (before my sixth birthday). I saw him only twice after that. For years, I wrote him letters with no response, and then I stopped. My love for him grew cold. If he had any sense of needing forgiveness or asking for forgiveness, I don’t know. He died before I told him I forgave him. Every time this comes to mind, forgiving him is revisited. That’s a regret for me. However, I know the beautiful experience of forgiving a long-played offense from my older brother. Robert, who had deep pain of his own, struck out at others. My response for years was being offended at him or taking up an offense for other family members. It wasn’t pretty. Then, thanks to the wisdom and honesty of friends, I came to my senses on his offenses and my reactions. No more taking up an offense when Robert attacked…and the attacks died. He and I became closer than we had ever been over our lives. In fact, he gentled in his relationship with our siblings also. Those brief years (which could have been more if I had understood sooner) were great blessings (hopefully to both of us). When he died suddenly in his 60s, I carried no regrets. #Unoffendable #Forgiveness – I forgave him and he forgave me…without the words but walking out forgiveness with each other. So much grace in that.

Photo Credit: Unoffendable, Brant Hansen

Thoughts?

Being Offensive vs. Being Offended – and Trust – Charles H. Green

Unoffendable: How Just One Change Can Make All of Life Better – Brant Hansen

What Is the Difference of Being Offended and Harmed? – Robert Enright

Stop Being Offended Today: 3 Cures for Everything That Irritates You – Bill Apablasa

Forgiving in Two Dimensions – Peace Pursuit

Mel Robbins on the “The Let Them Theory” – Sarah Fielding

Photo Credit: Brant Hansen, Unoffendable, Pinterest

All Good Gifts, Attending or Focus, Christmas, Church, Community, Faithfulness, Finishing Strong, Forgiveness, fresh start, God the Father, Gospel, Grace, Healing, Inspired, Jesus, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Love, Love Your Neighbor, Music, Neighbors, New Year, Pray, Rebellion and Sin, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Redeeming & Restoring, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transformational, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Make Room – The Church Will Sing

Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Heartlight

“See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, which are based on human tradition and the spiritual forces of the world rather than on Christ.…When you were dead in your trespasses and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our trespasses, having canceled the debt ascribed to us in the decrees that stood against us. He took it away, nailing it to the cross! And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” – Colossians 2:8, 13-14

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” – James 4:7-8

“Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21

Last night, a small group of women gathered in a dimly light room in a church in Richmond. I was there. Just down the hall an Alcohol Anonymous meeting was also being held. In the quiet of that space, the Lord came close.

We had been prompted earlier in the day by the young woman who spearheaded this prayer force that we would spend part of the evening in confession and repentance. It put me to thinking on what in my life needed confessing and repented of.

We each poured our hearts out to a faithful Father, who is ever ready to forgive, restore, and empower us to walk the way of Christ. My confessions centered on the struggle with keeping my eyes on Him and trusting Him in the complications of life. I confessed a lack of love and a timidity that keeps me from sharing Christ. I also prayed against the things that stand in the way of my focusing on Him, of surrendering wholly to Him. Those idols and counterfeit gods that steal us away from being near to the Lord.

It was a tender time of prayer, talking to God and listening to these other precious women doing the same. We prayed beyond our own need for forgiveness but also for our neighbors and our nation. For the world. For those in our lives most vulnerable to Satan’s arrows in hard marriages and hospital beds.

We sang a song together as part of our gathering. This time I didn’t know the song, but it was perfect for our time together. It was Make Room by a group called The Church Will Sing. In a way it is audacious that we have to “make room” for the Creator of this world to do what He wants to do in our lives. Yet, He doesn’t push in. He is close but waits for us to open the door to our hearts for Him to come in and change everything! Hallelujah!

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship with me:

[Verse 1]
Here is where I lay it down
Every burden, every crown
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, oh

[Verse 1]
Here is where I lay it down
Every burden, every crown
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, Jesus
And I will make room for You, for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Oh, I will make room for You, Jesus
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
Oh, I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, Jesus

[Spontaneous]
Have Your way, have Your way, Jesus, oh
We surrender all, we surrender all, Jesus
Have Your way, Jesus, have Your way, Jesus

[Bridge]
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better
Oh, Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better, Jesus
Oh, Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better, Jesus
Your way is better
Shake up the ground of all my tradition
Break down the walls of all my religion
Your way is better
Oh, Your way is better

[Chorus]
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to
And I will make room for You
To do whatever You want to
To do whatever You want to, oh

[Verse 2]
Here is where I lay it down
You are all I’m chasing now
This is my surrender
This is my surrender
Here is where I lay it down
You are all I’m chasing now
This is my surrender
This is my surrender*

*Lyrics to “Make Room” – Songwriters: Josh Farro, Evelyn Heideriqui, Lucas Cortazio & Rebekah White

Make Room – Behind the Lyrics – Malia Rogers

P.S. Below you will find two other songs I discovered with the titles “Make Room”. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: YouTube, Jonathan McReynolds – Make Room

YouTube Video – Jonathan McReynolds – Make Room [Lyric Video]

Make Room – Jonathan McReynolds – Daniel Ploof

Make Room – A Devo by Mark Hall From Casting Crowns

All Good Gifts, Attending or Focus, Bible, Books, Decision-making, Finishing Strong, fresh start, Grace, Habits, Inspired, Jesus, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lifelong Learning, Lives Full of God, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Pray, Productivity, Purpose, Rest, Service, Time Management, Walk with God, Word of God

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the New Year – Focus

1 Comment

Photo Credit: Heartlight, James Houston quote

[Adapted from the Archives]

I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I [we] will not be shaken. – Psalm 16:8

You, [Lord], will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. – Isaiah 26:3

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 19:11-13

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:12-14

Now we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed…knowing that the One who raised the Lord Jesus will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in His presence… Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day…For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory that is far beyond comparison. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-18

New Year’s Resolutions have been a long-time habit for me. I actually find them very helpful in steering my life into the next year. More intentional, more thoughtful. It doesn’t matter to me if those resolutions don’t get me to whatever goal I set…they have always gotten me a bit closer, a bit farther down the road. In 2017, pastor Cliff at Movement Church challenged us to commit to some resolutions to the Lord…together [podcast of 12/31/2017 here]. That was such a pivotal exercise that I have kept those same resolutions, made that day, in a visible place, to be reminded of those Godly habits, and the struggle to walk in them… Still in view…eight years out. Still relevant to now.

Then in 2020, I read Debbie Macomber‘s book One Perfect Word. It is not the same practice as setting resolutions in motion, but it is a discipline of seeking one word to set the tone for the coming year.

In 2021, my word was “compassion”. In 2022, it was “joy”. “Wonder” in 2023. “Strong” in 2024, when feeling weak was the norm that year. This past year, in a season of medical challenges, my word was “trust”.

Choosing a word for the year gives a sense of direction like I’ve not experienced in the past. It’s a target toward which I take aim or correct my aim. Each year, the Lord seems to direct me (can’t be certain, but it feels like Him) to a word to set in my heart and mind. A marker in my walk with God. In recent weeks, the word that has come to mind for 2026 has been focus. In fact, I’ve seen it repeatedly communicated in Scripture during my quiet time (see verses above) and in every day conversations and sightings (like the cap below in a thrift store).

My whole adult life, I’ve dealt with distractedness. To the point of thinking it could be ADD (attention deficit disorder). Starting strong and then dwindling in my interest and resolve. Distracted by the needs around me (which isn’t a bad thing). Struggling to stay on task. As I approach my 75th birthday (crazy, right?!), the Lord has reminded me that He doesn’t see my distractability as a weakness. It is just part of who I am, and He can mold it into something beautiful and useful to the Kingdom, when I stay focused on Him…and His nature.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

This will be my challenge and delight in 2026. To start with Him each day, to focus (and refocus) on Him through the day, and to finish the day, not in defeat because of any failures or unfinished tasks, but resting in His presence and peace. Eyes on Him, not on me.

Here we go, 2026. As the Scripture above prompts. The LORD always before me. My mind stayed on Him. Seeking Him with my whole heart. Pressing on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Fixing my eyes on what is unseen. Running the race marked out for me.

Postscript:

Twentieth-century Quaker Thomas Kelly wrote, “Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call, a premonition of richer living which we know we are passing by. We have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power. If only we could slip over into that Center! If only we could find the Silence which is the source of sound!”

Lord, withYour coming, our lives have a greater demand placed upon them. Help us learn the art of active, consistent service while maintaining enough silent spaces to hear Your call. Amen. commonprayer.net.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the New Year – Trust – the Object of Our Trust Matters – Deb Mills – [quick review of how a Word of the Year became a habit in my life]

The Focused Christian – Craig Meeker – practical primer to the focused life

The Focused Christian