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Monday Morning Moment – What If Every Word We Say Never Ends or Fades Away – Malcolm Guite

March 21, 2023 admindeb Leave a comment

What if?! English poet and Anglican priest Malcolm Guite wrote a grand poem with this question posed (poem posted below). “What if every word we say never ends or fades away?” We have all heard and probably rejected the singsong “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words shall never hurt us.” Forgiving the words (or asking forgiveness for hurtful words spoken) may right some of the wrong, but the forgetting is the challenge.

I started thinking about this topic when scrolling through Instagram and seeing the post below by @MomsofBigs.

Photo Credit: Instagram, Moms of Bigs/Teens and 20s

What would a hashtag be for things I regularly said (and still say) to my children?

#IllLoveYouForever
#GodLovesYouMore
#AudienceofOne
#BeCareful
#KeepShortAccounts
#TextMeWhenYouGetHome

So regular affirming things are cool to remember, but we also have to contend with those things we have said in anger or disappointment. Worth mulling over in hopes that we can remove some of that injury.

Words form the thread on which we string our experiences – Aldous Huxley

Fortunately the things we speak to those we love, those we work with, or strangers we meet (or even in processing our experience of these with someone else) – these things we speak aren’t inscribed on our skin. What if the experience of those words though never fade away?

Photo Credit: *The Power of Words*, Stephen Gallup

Power of Words – Jan Terkelsen

We have an endless supply of words and how we choose to use them. I say we choose wisely the words we use – in our thoughts as well as in our speech – choosing life-affirming words vs. person-diminishing words. Using words we would have no problem having tattooed on our skin forever.

Closing with this gorgeous poem of Guite’s. Read it aloud. Add a beat. Definitely a spoken word piece.

What If– A poem by Malcolm Guite

What if every word we say
Never ends or fades away,
Gathers volume gathers weigh,
Drums and dins us with dismay
Surges on some dreadful day
When we cannot get away
Whelms us till we drown?

What if not a word is lost,
What if every word we cast
Cruel, cunning, cold, accurst,
Every word we cut and paste
Echoes to us from the past
Fares and finds us first and last
Haunts and hunts us down?

What if every murmuration,
Every otiose oration
Every oath and imprecation,
Insidious insinuation,
Every blogger’s aberration,
Every facebook fabrication
Every twittered titivation,
Unexamined asservation
Idiotic iteration,
Every facile explanation,
Drags us to the ground?

What if each polite evasion
Every word of defamation,
Insults made by implication,
Querulous prevarication,
Compromise in convocation,
Propaganda for the nation
False or flattering peruasion,
Blackmail and manipulation
Simulated desparation
Grows to such reverberation
That it shakes our own foundation,
Shakes and brings us down?

Better that some words be lost,
Better that they should not last,
Tongues of fire and violence.
O Word through whom the world is blessed,
Word in whom all words are graced,
Do not bring us to the test,
Give our clamant voices rest,
And the rest is silence. – What If– by Malcolm Guite

We can use our words wisely. Right? What if…we did?

[I have often written about words. Here. They matter and don’t really go away.]

The Eternal Significance of a Single Little Word – Tim Challies

A Family Lexicon – Words that Grow Up with Us – Deb Mills

YouTube Video – 10 Things All Moms Say

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5 Friday Faves – Growing Up with Pixar, Pursuing Unity, Bringing Hope, Agility in Today’s Realities, and Making Music Happen

May 24, 2020 admindeb Leave a comment

Happy Weekend! With so many of us either working remotely or with otherwise altered work situations, some rhythms are shifted. One for me is writing. I miss it. Please bear with me…and stay with me…as I carve out time and temperament to write something worth the read. You give me courage.

1) Growing Up with Pixar – Classical guitarist Nathan Mills (of Beyond the Guitar) knows exactly how to take any film song he chooses and draw out every bit of emotion possible. Related to Pixar, he did that previously with medleys of both the happy theme songs and the sad ones. This week, Nathan arranged and performed the heart-wrenching Randy Newman song “When She Loved Me”. You will recognize this song from the film Toy Story 2. It’s the poignant story of Emily and her cowgirl toy Jessie. At first, little girl Emily adores her toy and Jessie feels so loved, through their tireless play. Then…Emily grows up. Jessie ends up in a cardboard box donated to a charity. Many of our children have grown up with Pixar and have had lessons on life reinforced – love, loyalty, friendship, and determination – through these films. Nathan’s sweet rendition of this song will take you back.

Also check out his latest podcast on The Truth About Going Viral.

2) Pursuing Unity – We live in a world torn by division. Whatever our political ideology or religious fervor, we don’t have to just sit by and watch it burn. I am reminded of one who prayed for unity for us. One who died the next day in a world divided.

“May they all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us, so that the world may believe you sent me. I have given them the glory you have given me, so that they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me, so that they may be made completely one, that the world may know you have sent me and have loved them as you have loved me.” – Jesus, John 17:21-23

I want to align myself with those who choose unity…those who keep reasoning together, and refuse to hate, and who are determined to forgive and to find answers and to love no matter what.

Photo Credit: Wallpaper Flare

A veteran officer of the United States Marine Corps and a teaching pastor, Grant Castleberry, wrote exquisitely about pursuing unity. Here’s a bit of his article:

“The New Testament emphasis, over and over again, is that true Christian unity is only built on a right understanding of the gospel. No matter our national allegiance, economic background, political party, or ethnicity, the gospel unites believers in one faith, one ‘body’ (1 Cor 12:12, 17)…The family of God outstrips all our other allegiances and affiliations. This includes our allegiance to a political party or ethnicity. Identity, and therefore unity, in the New Testament is almost always linked to the fact that we have been united to Christ in faith through the gospel…we should be defined by a spirit of love and forgiveness…In our divided culture, unity in the Church will be only nurtured and maintained, using the methods and principles that Jesus and the Apostles have outlined for us in the New Testament…These bodies of believers, from diverse backgrounds and idealogies, will serve as beacons of unity in a divided world.” – Grant Castleberry

3) Bringing Hope – What kinds of things have brought you hope in these days? I have experienced and observed so many acts of kindness – simple ones and costly ones. People being creative and hopeful themselves and lavishing it generously on others.

Actor writer John Krasinski is one of those persons. He created this little YouTube channel with the focus on Some Good News (in the face of all the bad). Only eight episodes in total but he celebrated so much in those eight weeks – health care and other essential workers, our beloved sports teams, and the big Spring events that have been disrupted (graduations, proms, weddings, etc) secondary to COVID-19.

John Krasinski Fights Back Tears During Emotional Some Good News Finale – Emily Belfiore

Column: What I’m Glad to Say Goodbye to John Krasinski’s ‘Some Good News’ – Mary McNamara

I guess John Krasinski has some projects coming up because he ended his broadcasts after the eighth episode. Or maybe with the opening up of our countries, we will be making even more good news. Like visits with beloved grandparents after three months of “social distancing”. Now that’s some good news!!!Photo Credit: Facebook, Eryn Cobb

Finally, the most hope-bringing message: “Jesus loves me/you; this I know!”

4) Agility in Today’s Realities – We often think of agility in terms of sports – that ability to change directions quickly, but it’s that and so much more. What does agility mean in life and work?Photo Credit: Gunther Verheyen, Scrum

We hear a lot these days about a “new normal” after we come out of the COVID-19 crisis. Maybe we are better off thinking not new but real – what is real now and how could it change or be changed?

Wisdom is taking what we are learning about this virus and maximize prevention and sound treatment while, at the same time, figure out how to still do life…work…all that matters to us.

Try things. Experiment. Think in teams. Acknowledge the fails. Try something different. Strengthen the successes. Broaden them.

I’m talking very simplistically here, but we have a lot of smart and innovative people out there. Let’s figure out how to be agile in our decision-making.Photo Credit: Facebook, TobyMac

5 Disruptive Leadership Trends that will Rule 2020 – Carey Nieuwhof

The Original 2020 Is History. 7 New Disruptive Church Trends Every Church Leader Should Watch – Carey Nieuwhof [insight beyond churches as well]

5) Making Music Happen – I had an opportunity years ago to direct a Christmas program in a tiny church in New Haven, Ct. It was a magical experience – for me for sure. Then years later, I had another opportunity to produce a fine arts program in a school in Casablanca, Morocco. Again, to bring singers and musicians together to make something beautiful was an incredible experience. Below are two videos of music that we might not have had except for COVID-19.

Also the following are now-famous songs from the film musical The Greatest Showman. They are “in the making” versions and bring us close to what it’s like for the singers to create something musical and joyful for us all. In the middle you’ll find another “virtual ensemble” bringing to life one of those great songs during the social distancing of today.

Bonuses:

Blue Bloods’ Reagan Family Dinner:

MercyMe’s Hurry Up and Wait

Core Values List: 115 Values That I Filtered on Practicality – Darius Foroux

God is shouting. Are you listening? pic.twitter.com/isrmUcvlQZ

— Tony Evans (@drtonyevans) March 30, 2020

30 Days in the Shire – Adapted for Use in the Midst of Coronatide – Tea with Tolkien

“And people stayed at home
And read books
And listened
And they rested
And did exercises
And made art and played
And learned new ways of being
And stopped and listened
More deeply
Someone meditated, someone prayed
Someone met their shadow
And people began to think differently
And people healed.
And in the absence of people who
Lived in ignorant ways
Dangerous, meaningless and heartless,
The earth also began to heal
And when the danger ended and
People found themselves
They grieved for the dead
And made new choices
And dreamed of new visions
And created new ways of living
And completely healed the earth
Just as they were healed.”

The above poem was published on March 16, 2020, by writer Catherine O’Meara (aka Kitty O’Meara)

Photo Credit: Facebook, Elaine M. Lechanski

Photo Credit: Facebook; Wonders of Nature, Robert E. Saddler

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5 Friday Faves – The Lion King, Ethnic Food, Biblical Justice, Raising Men and Women, and the iGeneration

July 26, 2019 admindeb 2 Comments

Friday Faves – lightning fast. Hope your weekend is slowed-down – I’m counting on it!

1) The Lion King – Just released, The Lion King (2019) film is making all kinds of news because of it’s computer-animation (it all looks so real!). Best part of the movie is the nostalgia of the music score (by Hans Zimmer) updated from the original (1994) film. Here Nathan Mills arranged and performed the stunning instrumental piece, the main theme, “This Land”. Again, it is amazing how this guy can take a single classical guitar and move the hearer as the full orchestra did in the film. Goosebumps.

2) Ethnic Food – We all have our own version of ethnic food. It’s the food that calls the mind and heart back to our moms and our childhood homes. For our children, their sense of ethnic foods includes the biscuits and gravy of the southern US, tamaya (falafel) sandwiches of Egypt, couscous of Tunisia, tajine in Morocco, and authentic Mexican cooking of a dear friend transplanted in Morocco as well. What ethnic food resonates with you?

Egyptian Falafel Best in the World: BBC Report – Al-Masry Al-Youm

3) Biblical Justice – With all the cry for social justice in our world today, I’ve been immersing myself in the study of Biblical justice. Trying to figure out how we are to best respond to the poor and oppressed around us.

Author and New York City pastor Tim Keller has written a book entitled Generous Justice: How God’s Grace Makes Us Just. In it, he calls the church, corporately and as individual believers, to answer God’s call for us to “act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). We are reminded of the two greatest commandments in the whole of Scripture: to love God with everything in our being and our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39).

Photo Credit: By Their Strange Fruit

“We instinctively tend to limit for whom we exert ourselves. We do it for people like us, and for people whom we like. Jesus will have none of that. By depicting a Samaritan helping a Jew, Jesus could not have found a more forceful way to say that anyone at all in need – regardless of race, politics, class, and religion – is your neighbour. Not everyone is your brother or sister in faith, but everyone is your neighbour, and you must love your neighbour.”– Tim Keller

True Biblical justice will never be satisfied with government programs or tax increases to the rich. God’s call to us to act justly is very personal. We will default to always think the government doesn’t do enough or the rich are always people richer than us.

When we consider our role in our neighbor’s life…we look beyond those like us or those we like…we look for the neighbor who needs the same grace that we need(ed) from God…and, in obedience to Him, we extend grace as far as it has been extended to us.

World-changing. Life-changing. Our own, and our neighbor.

4) Raising Men & Women – We all hope to raise up our children to be men and women who care about people and put themselves out there for others. Raising Men Lawn Care Service was founded in 2015 by Rodney Smith, Jr.. He began this service out of a compassion for people who struggled with taking care of their lawns. Single moms, disabled, elderly, and veterans. He mentors boys (AND girls) in extending care to these by cutting their grass for free. Or shoveling snow, raking leaves, etc. Like with martial arts, he gives these young people t-shirts that distinguish them by how many lawns they have cut for free. This is his 50-yard challenge.

From his website, Smith says, “We are completely confident in the fact that we can provide a very inspirational program that focuses on channeling the energy that youths have in a positive way as well as helping those who need it the most. We know that sometimes youth want to help the community and sometimes people need it, but it can be hard to know who, why and where. We focus on getting all of this sorted out while also helping people around the area to care for and maintain their lawns.”

Watch the video and consider donating on his Amazon wish list.

Maybe more of us can start this sort of thing in our own communities.

5) The iGeneration – My husband and I are Baby Boomers and we have raised three Millennials – although in ways all three are old souls and resonate in ways with Generation X’ers and us. The youngest people being studied these days for common characteristics have been identified as Gen Z or iGeneration. They are the first to be born who will have neverknown a world withou internet connectivity. Author Eric Geiger wrote a summary piece on this generation, entitled Who Are the iGeneration and What Does Research Tell Us? He notes the research examined by Dr. Jean Twenge in her book iGen.

Photo Credit: NPS

In the piece above and its subsequent Part 2 on these precious young ones, he describes a generation that demands more care and careful direction from us olders. I won’t list all 12 of his characteristics (worth your read) but will list a few that have concerned me (for them and those in their future).

Because of the almost continual connection with electronic devices, they just don’t read as much as earlier generations.
Geiger gives an example of the yearbook day many of us older folks experienced growing up. In the Spring, we all got photobooks that captured our year – mostly highlights but the occasional losses – we signed each other’s books as a testament that we were there and we cared…or didn’t (depending on the friendship). These days, every day is yearbook day, and the highs and lows of that visual and emotional bombardment undermines the happiness of these young people. With unhappiness comes depression that seems too much a part of their experience.
With eyes riveted to screens, iGeneration young people have neglected social skills like eye contact, conversation, situational awareness, etc.
Less connected, in general. Less connected to community, to political party, to religion. Just less connected. Again, related to electronic device usage and the deluge of so much information and conflicting and argumentative opinion.

These are four out of the 12 that Geiger lists. Again, worth a read, especially if you have these young ones in your life.

Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, and Gen Z – Explained – Kasasa

That’s it for me for this week. Blessings on you. Thanks for taking the time to read what I post. Hope it encourages you as you do me.

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Monday Morning Moment – the Cultural Phenomenon of Decluttering Stuff and Disposing of Relationships – the Marie Kondo Effect

February 25, 2019 admindeb 10 Comments

Photo Credit: Lucy and Claudia

[Starting with Marie Kondo but not staying there, so for those not a fan, hang with me a few minutes.]

Marie Kondo is a petite and lovely Japanese decluttering guru. Her book and Netflix TV show Tidying Up are based on her KonMarie method of organizing one’s home. Such that joy is sparked. She ascribes to the Shinto belief that cleanliness is essential to a good life. In Kondo’s thinking, disposing of everything in your home that doesn’t spark joy brings an order and spiritual calm you wouldn’t have otherwise.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing – Marie Kondo

YouTube Video – 10 Amazing Tips for Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (the KonMarie Method)

Shintoism: How It Influenced the Lives of the Japanese – Saki Yoshida

The Hidden Religious Promise Behind Marie Kondo’s Decluttering ‘Magic’ – Karen Swallow Prior

Because of the popularity of the KonMarie decluttering method (and other similar approaches), homes (in the West anyway) have less stuff and more open spaces. These are great days to shop in thrift stores because they are full of higher end clothing, antiques, memorabilia, and the nearly new impulse buys of the minimizing upper middle class.

This decluttering can be a good thing because it is visually refreshing and potentially allows for a greater enjoyment of the stuff we do have in our home. The problem comes when we indiscriminately toss items just because they don’t spark joy (joy being a tall order coming from material things). It sets in motion a wider worldview on what is disposable in life. What should be cut out of our lives (possessions) or cut off from our lives (people)?

In this culture of trending decluttering and downsizing, we must beware that the freedom we feel in letting go of things can transfer into an ease in letting go of people. Intentionally, ruthlessly letting go of people…maybe without even being aware we’ve changed along with our homes.

– Cutting off family and friends in the insatiable pursuit of joy –

There are always consequences in decluttering, disposing, letting go …and for sure in cutting off relationships with people.Photo Credit: Haiku Deck

You might say that some people don’t deserve further access to your life – they are complicated or difficult (even abusive). [I am all for getting help and setting boundaries when necessary…especially in the face of abuse.] It’s the cutting off of relationships that feels like it alters who we are as people, set in families, in particular.

My older brother, Robert, experienced enormous loss in his life. Because of all the losses and setbacks, he developed thick skin and a tough heart. He was hard on all of us who loved him. Brutally hard sometimes. There were plenty of occasions I could have walked away from him and not looked back. Fortunately, we had a mom who loved us all well, even when her oldest treated her as he treated us. Also, fortunately, I had two friends who kept counseling me to look beyond the contentiousness and mean words to what was going on inside him. “Hurt people hurt people” they would tell me. I finally came to the place where I didn’t react when he tried to push emotional buttons that would always end in sibling fights and walk-outs. My two younger brothers and I determined together not to get baited and to try to lean in, in love. It wasn’t long at all until he changed – almost as if he woke out of a long and terrible dream. He remembered he loved us and that we loved him.

I thank God that I didn’t cut him off. He died at a young 61, and those last years of being his sister were sweet. Those years were full of joy actually. Worth the wait…and the willingness to give up my own way.

We have all probably had the experience of drifting from relationships, of neglecting friendships, of just not showing up emotionally or physically.

This is part of the imperfect nature of life. What bears examination is the very intentional, thought-out cutting off people from our lives.

“Does it spark joy?” is the question Marie Kondo asks the person deciding whether to keep something or dispose of it.

“Make sure everything you keep sparks joy.” “Unless something makes you happy in your life, why would you hang onto it?” – Tidying Up

“Does it spark joy?” Is the Wrong Decluttering Question – Joshua Becker

Beware of the worldview that decluttering leads to joy, because where, then, does it stop?

One writer goes as far as saying out right: “When you are confronted with people who do not bring joy to your life… it’s 100% okay to toss them out of it.”

There is so much being written about how to “Marie Kondo” relationships we perceive as toxic or at the least annoying and joyless. I chose not to link to those in today’s piece.

One really helpful article, though, about the reasons we cut off family members can bring real insight into why we rationalize such a decision:

10 Reasons Why People Get Cut Off From Their Family – Dr. Barbara Greenberg

Click on the link and read Dr. Greenberg’s analysis on cutting off family and why we should think it through again. In brief, here are her 10 reasons people make this choice:

Modeling
Power and Control
Exhaustion
Rewriting Narratives
Loyalty
Perceived Slights
Money
Caring for Elderly or Sick Parents
Abuse
Lack of Elasticity

It’s just something I’m thinking about this Monday morning.

People are not stuff. They are made in the image of God. They matter, even with all their cluttered baggage, this side of Heaven. They aren’t disposable. Who we become across our lifetime is framed by those in our family and among our friends…who don’t always spark joy…nor do we.

I welcome your thoughts…in the Comments below.

The Hidden Religious Promise Behind Marie Kondo’s Decluttering ‘Magic’ – Karen Swallow Prior

Our Disposable Culture Means We Toss Relationships As Quickly as We Throw Away Objects – Charlie Sorrel

The Real Reason Marie Kondo’s Life-Changing Magic Doesn’t Work for Parents – Tanya C. Snyder

‘Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” Isn’t Really a Make-0ver Show – Sarah Archer

Clean House, Full Thrift Stores: How Marie Kondo Inspired Mass Decluttering and Donating – Mary Ellen Wright

What Japan Can Teach America About Family Caregiving – Barry J. Jacobs

350 Family Quotes – Wisdom Quotes

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Worship Wednesday – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli

August 3, 2016 admindeb 4 Comments

Photo Credit: BeHappy

This is the message which we have heard from him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all. . . if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. . . . If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:5-9

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. – James 5:16

I’ve always tried to be pretty much a “what you see if what you get” sort of person…and my husband is the same. We tried to raise our children the same. No pretenses. No false fronts. Fully human with both its strengths and weaknesses. This can backfire on occasion when an opinion or action rankles a developed sensibility on the part of another family member or friend.

Fortunately, if that loved one also determines to live with transparency and understanding, there can be great grace. My sister-in-law and I have been friends for all the years we’ve known each other. Marrying brothers, we became sisters ourselves. She gave me the Willow Tree statue below. It reminds me of us.We talk about everything…all the good stuff and all the hard stuff. For years we’ve laid our lives bare in front of each other, knowing, completely confident, that we’re both safe. I pray that never changes. No matter what is going on in our marriage, or our parenting, our friendships, or our faith, we have determined to love each other always.

This friendship is like others I have been fortunate to have. Clearly, God meant for His children to have these sorts of relationships. Open, accepting, deeply caring, and loving no matter what. These kinds of relationships foster confessional living.

W. David. O. Taylor is a pastor and educator. In his blog, The Discipline of Living a Confessional Life, he talks about this. He writes to artists but his observations apply to us all.

What does it mean to live a confessional life? It means that we live in a way that trusted others are always being invited to know our deepest weaknesses and failures. Dallas Willard puts it this way: in the discipline of confession “we lay down the burden of hiding and pretending, which normally takes up such a dreadful amount of human energy” (Spirit of the Disciplines, 188).

Anything we keep hidden is a breeding ground for Satan-manipulating, flesh-arousing dysfunction: self-pity, self-aggrandizement, self-protectiveness, self-indulging, self-destructiveness, the very stuff that fights against all our best [artistic] efforts.

What we need, then, is a mechanism to get us un-hidden. We need to get ourselves out of darkness as quickly as possible and back into the light. That is a Christian definition of sanity. That is also often the most difficult thing for us to do. Yet it is in the light that God does his best work of freeing us from the sin that entangles and distorts. – W. David. O. Taylor

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
– Ephesians 4:25

What is there to gain by showing a false front to those around us? There is so much more to be lost in not being real with ourselves and each other.

When Kevin Davis, of NewReleaseToday, interviewed Francesca Basttistelli about the take-away message of her song, If We’re Honest, she had this to say:

“Writing songs for the first time as a mom for this album showed me where I was at that time. There were no pretenses, and I wasn’t trying to be anyone that I’m not. Once you are a parent, you get a taste for what really matters. You’re not as worried about what people think of you.

I was also going through transitions of personal and business relationships, and I saw how a lack of transparency and honesty can really harm relationships and holds back all that God can do in a partnership or friendship. I was desperately crying out for that and wanting to challenge myself and others to live a life with more transparency, to quit putting up facades and walls with each other.”

She further talked about how Satan uses our secrets to isolate us from each other…to divide us…and to keep us from being the bold witness that we can be when we lay our lives open before God and each other. Life is too short and too precious to withhold who we really are…no matter how broken, or wounded, or small…we all share in this…this need for a Savior; this need to be known and loved as we are.

God completely understands that about us…and loves us…as will others who love Him first.

Worship with me.

Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide

I’m a mess and so are you
We’ve built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

(CHORUS)
Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine
‘Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy’s waiting on the other side
If we’re honest
If we’re honest

Don’t pretend to be something that you’re not
Living life afraid of getting caught
There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross, at the cross

(CHORUS)

It would change our lives
It would set us free
It’s what we need to be

(CHORUS)

Photo Credit: MyAct4Him

Postscript: Can I just comment on the kindness and sweetness of God in His relationship with His children? I wanted to write about this song this week and struggled with how to talk about it. Then with Francesca Battistelli’s help (through the interview/video on “behind the song”), it dawned on me that this was about confessional living. This was a delight for me because this sort of life is one I’ve lived without knowing what to call it. I searched on-line for confessional living and found the blog by W. David. O. Taylor. In researching where his confessional life has taken him, I discovered he is the one Nathan Clarke worked with to film the Bono and Eugene Peterson conversation. I wrote about that here. How fun is that?!

*Lyrics – If We’re Honest – KLove – Songwriters: Francesca Battistelli / Jeff Pardo / Molly E. Reed

Behind the Song with Kevin Davis – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli – NewReleaseToday

YouTube Video – If We’re Honest – Francesca Battistelli

YouTube Video – Francesca Battistelli – Behind the Album, If We’re Honest

The Discipline of Living a Confessional Life – W. David. O. Taylor

Confessional Writing – Wikipedia

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5 Friday Faves – Emotional Intelligence, Hand Massage, a TV Commercial, 40% Rule, Zelda – & a Bonus

February 26, 2016 admindeb 4 Comments

Friday is here again…and I’m looking back over another week that went by in a blur. Glad to share some of the discoveries of this past week. Would love to hear about your week’s finds (comment below).

1) Emotional Intelligence – This is a concept that’s been around for awhile now, but I never really read about it until this week. Matt Monge’s article for The Mojo Company sparked my interest. He described 6 symptoms of leaders with low emotional intelligence. Here’s the definition: “Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.”

Two of Monge’s points were: 1) Leaders with low emotional intelligence say “I’m sorry you feel that way” more than “I’m sorry,” and 2) Leaders with low emotional intelligence often blame the people they hurt for the situations leading to them being hurt. Daniel Goleman has written several books on this topic including Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than Intelligence and Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. The very cool thing about emotional intelligence is that it can be developed. The big dilemma is whether bosses who tend not to be bothered by their impact on personnel would buy into this or not. Incorporating such concepts in personnel accountability metrics might provide some incentive. I’ve added graphics below that helped me further understand emotional intelligence.Photo Credit: Self Study History

Photo Credit: Dollie Slager

Photo Credit: The King and Queen

2) Hand Massage – My dad is 93 years old. He has Alzheimer’s. I can’t imagine he has ever had a hand massage in his whole adult life until this past week. The memory care unit which is now home to him has this lovely activities director. One of his first days there, she brought over two warm washcloths and wrapped both his hands. Then she began massaging each one. He just melted into a relaxed, soothed puddle. One of his repetitive actions is to scratch his hand which he does to distraction. Hand massage is such a thoughtful, therapeutic act. It never dawned on me to do such a thing. Midway down an excellent piece on Alzheimer’s by staff at University of Maryland, massage is recommended as treatment to calm these patients. So glad Dad is where he is with these engaged caregivers.

3) A TV Commercial – We all discover human interest videos through our social media sites. This is my favorite for the week. The #SharetheLoad video produced by Ariel (a washing detergent we used overseas) in India is beautiful. The message is a father’s regret that he modeled for his wife and daughter a very passive role in the home. Even as an older man (the commercial goes), he determined to make that right. Whether it happens or not in such homes today, the message is a powerful one.

4) 40% Rule – So I found this Fortune article on my Twitter feed. Sidd Finch wrote about Jesse Itzler’s encounter with David Goggins, a Navy Seal. during a 100-mile relay race. Goggins was running the entire race without relay partners. Itzler was so intrigued by this ultra-athlete that he actually invited him to live with Itzler’s family for a month. Out of this time together came the book Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet. Goggins taught Itzler about the Navy Seals’ 40% Rule.

Itzler explains, “He would say that when your mind is telling you you’re done, you’re really only 40 percent done. And he had a motto: If it doesn’t suck we don’t do it. And that was his way of forcing us to get uncomfortable to figure out what our baseline was and what our comfort level was and just turning it upside-down.”

“The 40% rule, the SEAL explained, is the reason why even though most people hit a wall at mile 16 during a marathon, they’re still able to finish.”

Photo Credit: Just Go Fitness

“I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.” – David Goggins

Photo Credit: AZ Quotes

5) Zelda – The Legend of Zelda is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. I recently wrote briefly about it here. Koji Kondo wrote much of the music for the video game series. Photo Credit: Cogswell.edu

Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar has posted two covers so far to showcase how beautiful the music is and how well it’s captured on classical guitar. I wrote about the first cover previously, and here’s his second piece. Happy 30th Anniversary, Legend of Zelda.

HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence (with featured article “What Makes a Leader?” by Daniel Goleman)

10 Signs You Have Exceptional Mental Strength by Jessica Stillman

BONUS: If you got this far, you will be so rewarded! Very few people in my life watch American Idol, and this is its final (15th) season. I am not fond of the whole reality show murkiness of it, but the performances of these gifted young people and the judges (Keith Urban, Harry Connick, Jr., and Jennifer Lopez) are captivating as well. I want to post videos of two amazing performances from this week’s elimination show (elimination meaning the week the field of contestants narrows to the Top 10). The first video is that of La’Porsha Renae who may very well become the final American Idol. This one can sing!!!

We were overseas when American Idol’s first season aired. I don’t actually remember how I saw Kelly Clarkson in that competition, but I remember following her. She was the first American Idol winner, and the rest is history. To be honest, Kelly Clarkson was off my music listening grid…until now. The song she wrote and performed, Piece by Piece, deals with the painful subject of a father who deserted her as a young child. The song also celebrates the very different man she married, the faithful father of her daughter. This song may make you cry. Wow!

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Monday Morning Moment – Notes on Chris Bailey’s Life of Productivity

February 1, 2016 admindeb 9 Comments

Photo Credit: Lewis Howes, The School of Greatness

Where does the time go? How do I get so tired before the day is done? I just can’t stay focused…too distracted, I guess. You know what I’m talking about. Then there are the reactions of those friends and family. The ones (who treat us with kindness) tell us sympathetically “You are just so busy”. Then others, more in our faces, say, “The things you want to do, you do. You just don’t want time with me enough.” I get the logic of those statements, but I’ve been perplexed as to how to improve my life choices, such that I get more accomplished…more of the important things.

Until recently…when I experienced the convergence of making New Year’s resolutions, having a big birthday, and hearing Chris Bailey talk productivity.

Photo Credit: Unmistakable Creative

Chris Bailey is the age of my children. Although he had job offers, he took the year after graduating university to go deep into a study of productivity. During that year, he wrote about his experiments in his blog – A Life of Productivity. Then, he designed a roadmap of 25 tactics to greater productivity in his book The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy .

You may be tempted to yawn at another book on productivity, but this is clearly one not like the others. I listened to a couple of podcasts on Unmistakable Creative where host Srini Rao talks with Chris Bailey. They pour over what Chris discovered about productivity during that year of experiments. [Disclaimer: I haven’t read the book yet but plan to. My takeaways are from these podcasts and the other sources linked below. Can’t wait to read his roadmap on productivity.]

As Chris talks with Srini (and we get to listen in – love these podcast opportunities), he talks about what he’s learned from others regarding productivity. His tipping point was reading David Allen’s book Getting Things Done. Srini also refers to Cal Newport’s writing on deep work (you can listen to him on Unmistakable Creative here and here). They also mentioned Charles Duhigg’s book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Chris Bailey’s year of productivity experiments included studying what was already in the literature – a big help to us less-read hopefuls.

Chris defines productivity not as getting more things done but getting more accomplished. The difference is huge. It’s not just the “to-do list” but the view toward the “done list”. “Productivity is time, energy, and attention, and where the three meet in the middle is where you are in being productive. It is achieving what you intend to accomplish. It’s not about doing more things faster, but doing the right things deliberately and with intention.”

Here are the takeaways from my first-look into Chris Bailey’s “life of productivity”.

Take a step back from your life and ask the questions: What do I care about? What motivates me? When was I most inspired, driven, or felt the most meaning or passion for what I was doing?
The three commodities we all bring to the table are time, energy, and attention. It’s not just about time management, but also increasing our capacity for work (energy) and focus (attention).
Start every day with intentionality. Make your to-do lists to manage the minutia of life, but then do something more. Take a step back. Execute what he calls the Rule of 3. At the start of the day, mentally fast-forward to the end of the day and ask: “When the day is done, what three main things do I want to accomplish?” From this you form your intentions on what you want to accomplish.
Being busy, even in ticking off the things on your to-do list, doesn’t mean you’re being productive. This gives an illusion to productivity, but only when you step back do you discover whether you have accomplished what you thought you did in the busy-ness.
Start small in working toward productivity. Real change takes time and intentionality. “Write down everything in your job and personal life that you’re responsible for. Then ask, if I can only do one of these things every day, which adds value/meaning to my life (I would add or to that of another who matters deeply to me)? Ask again of the remaining tasks. And a third time.”
We all have limitations and constraints in our life. Bear those in mind as you plan and execute and evaluate. Being hard on ourselves won’t get us to greater productivity. Small, incremental steps toward change should be celebrated.
Work on one thing at a time. Single-tasking. Working mindfully. “Multi-tasking holds people back from accomplishing more over the course of the day. It stimulates your mind; it’s like being busy. However, it actually makes you less productive, increases your errors, decreases your memory, and takes longer to do everything” [in reality]. “You can only focus on one thing at one time. You then dedicate 100% of your time, energy, and attention to one thing – it will yield the highest productivity.” Counter-intuitive, I know, but I’m beginning to believe the wisdom of this.
Procrastination involves 7 triggers that cause your mind to resist certain tasks: when they are boring, frustrating, difficult, ambiguous, unstructured, lacking intrinsic reward or personal meaning. We put off doing those types of tasks (which often are ones we actually need to attack to be truly productive) and instead while away our time on social media or marathoning Netflix. Chris Bailey gives a way out: “Once you step back from the task, noticing you’re procrastinating, trick the triggers – reward yourself, set time limits, structure it, etc.”
Mindfulness is continually bringing your attention back to the work that’s in front of you. Chris Bailey uses meditation to build “attentional muscle”. Taking mental breaks (however you do) is important to make attentional space which we need for creativity. Our mind goes back and forth from “the essential executive mode (constantly thinking of something, like when on a smartphone), and the mind-wandering mode (like when you’re in the shower). You often have those brilliant ideas while in the shower.” Make space for building attention and creativity. Take breaks and disconnect a bit from the internet or Netflix (you knew that was coming, right?).

I am so encouraged by the possibilities of building capacity in my time, energy, and attention. Chris gets us started with his 100 Time, Energy, and Attention Hacks to Be More Productive. Remember, he urges us to start small. Change one thing, maybe, in each area. It’s a process but one we can master toward gaining a life of greater meaning and capacity, accomplishing what we have hoped for…not just waiting for the future self to do it. We can be more that person beginning today.

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Chris Bailey – A Life of Productivity – Website

The Productivity Project: Accomplishing More by Managing Your Time, Attention, and Energy by Chris Bailey

Unmistakably Creative – Podcast with Chris Bailey – Bridging the Gaps in Our Productivity

The Top 10 Lessons I Learned From a Year of Productivity by Chris Bailey

100 Time, Energy, and Attention Hacks to Be More Productive by Chris Bailey

YouTube Video – The Path to Meaningful Work: Chris Bailey at TEDxGatineau

Five Habits that Help Chris Bailey Stay Productive

From 90-hour Work Week to Rising Before Dawn, Author Experiments with Productivity – CTV News

Chris Bailey on Twitter

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Looking for a Job…or the Next Job? – 4 Ideas to Consider

September 14, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

When you need a job, or a new job, you are in a tender place. I will treat that place with honor. You have gifts, experience, and workplace wisdom that are needed somewhere…so please don’t despair. Any bitterness that could be taking root in your heart will only get in your way. You have choices, more than you think. You have probably had more advice than you can even follow, so I don’t want to burden you with another load of it. Just 4 ideas.

Read an encouraging and practical book. For me, that book is Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Acuff gives sound counsel, mixed with fun stories, about how to get on with your life in the marketplace. In fact, I wrote 5 blogs on his book (see links below). I leave out the stories, but his “next steps” are extremely helpful and sometimes surprisingly counter-intuitive. He boosts the reader’s confidence in a genuine way and doing the exercises in his book can make a huge difference in job hunting. So much affirmation…real affirmation.
Network with lots of people. It’s not just about “who you know”. It’s also about “who knows you”. Sometimes we don’t even recognize our own strengths (OR weaknesses). Trusted friends or even respected acquaintances can give you much-needed food for thought and action. Maybe you don’t even know what to do, job-wise – your future is wide open but looks (to you) very dark. Input from others who care about you or who are caring, in general, can help you focus. You may not have even considered what they may be telling you – either about your own hireability or the job market itself. Listen and learn. P.S. Don’t go to them for a job; go to them for wisdom about getting a job.
Try something completely new. The film The Intern with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway speaks to this something new. A 70-year-old takes an internship in a cool successful company. Funny and winsome and could be one of us, right? Then I have also been hearing a lot lately about advanced manufacturing and the need for apprentices in this field. You may have a “white collar” education that could be more finely tuned with some “blue collar” experience. Those terms may be antiquated with the blurring of boundaries in our more technology-rich manufacturing companies. You could be that intern or apprentice.

4. Consider working with a head-hunter or job placement agency. In a conference recently, I heard Michael Thompson, founder and CEO of Turas Group, speak to a group of job-seekers. His approach was warm and positive. In that half-hour session, he gave strong individualized counsel to each person, based on what information they had already sent them. Counsel that helped everyone in the room really, but also individualized to each person’s needs. He also asks really good questions which is incredibly helpful for clarification – when you really don’t know what to do next.

One thing Thompson expressed was the importance of doing lots of interviews. His counsel included: a) prepare and do research to know your interviewers; b) arrive early; c) have your 60 second pitch down; d) – smile a lot, have energy, be excited and maintain eye contact; e) answer directly and concisely; and finally f) if you don’t know the answer to a question, share that, but then offer what you would do (especially if you’ve never done that something needed). Thompson also encouraged the participants to join LinkedIn (a global online professional network).

Whether you’re just out of college or you find yourself in the throes of a company downsizing, you know something of what you offer any employer. Allow these 4 ideas to fill in some of the holes you can’t see that would make job hunting a less painful and more productive endeavor.

As to dealing with the disappointment of not finding a job right out of school, or the loss of satisfying work you loved, please don’t let that define you. You have choices…maybe very different that you first imagined, but you have them. Make those lists of strengths and people of influence in your life as Jon Acuff advises; talk (well, listen more) to friends and advocates; and stay open to a real positive turn in your career. Finally, I personally would add “Pray” to all this. Prayer will help you to not panic or grow bitter when your emotional energy would better serve your pursuit of that job – the one you can’t imagine right now. Remember who you are and Whose you are.

Any comments on what has helped you or what is sustaining you in your job hunt? Please share below.

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

Do Over – Jon Acuff on Work Relationships – Notes (Part 2 of Do Over Series)

10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

Turas Group – Michael Thompson, CEO – Michael@turasgroup.com – or connect via LinkedIn

Tips for a Successful Job Search – Tulane University

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Global Leadership Summit – 7 Take-Aways from Day One of #GLS15

August 6, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: thecrossingchurchnj.org

Today I participated in the Global Leadership Summit at a satellite site near Richmond, Virginia. It was my first time, but I hope not to miss another. It is best described on the website- “a world-class experience designed to help you get better and embrace your grander vision—the reason God called you to lead. Broadcast LIVE in HD from Willow’s campus near Chicago to over 375 Premier Host Sites in North America and later around the world, you are invited to join an expected 260,000 leaders in 2015.”

7 great leaders spoke today, and 6 others will speak tomorrow. The experience was so meaningful and beneficial to me where I am currently in life, but I would recommend it to anyone whatever your situations.

Following are the briefest of 7 take-aways that are still buzzing around in my head. So much to process. Here’s a start.

Bill Hybels (founder/senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church; chairman of the Willow Creek Association which launched the Global Leadership Summit in 1995):

“Leadership is [simply] moving people from here to there.”

“Armed with enough humility we can learn from anyone.”

Hybels reflected on Richard Davis’ book The Intangibles of Leadership – and developed his own list of 5 intangibles for leaders:Photo Credit: jobsforlife.org

He challenged us to discover the “white-hot why” of our lives – the why of what we do – what really matters for us. For Hybels, it’s “transforming lives”. He is a living example of being faithful to that “why”.

Jim Collins (best-selling author of Good to Great):

Jim Collins talked about what he learned as the recent Chair (2012-2013) for the Study of Leadership at the United States Military Academy at West Point. He reported that: creating a culture out of which great leaders are developed must include

Serving a cause we can be passionate about and for which we would be willing to suffer;
Growing through difficulty; and
Succeeding by helping those around us.

“We succeed at our very best only when we help others succeed. We respond to our own difficulties by reaching out and saying ‘Let me help you.’ To communicate to others: ‘You are never alone.'”

“The greatest leaders find a way to make a contribution, a distinctive impact, on people, on real-live flesh and blood people.”

Ed Catmull (Co-Founder of Pixar Animation Studios; President of Walt Disney Animation Studios; Author of Creativity, Inc.):

Catmull wanted to be an animator from the time he was a child but couldn’t see a path to follow that dream. He ended up studying physics in college.Photo Credit: brainpickings.org

“Science and art are not incongruous. Art isn’t about drawing; it’s about learning to see. Which business or professions do you not want to have enhanced ability to see?”

He talked further about 3 processes in film-making, all relating to accountability:

Teams working together (using a Brain Trust – a group of colleagues all acting as peers, with vested interest, giving feedback;
When failures happen in production – embracing [failure] but at the same time dealing with it with both total candor and kindness; and
Operating within constraints (a budget) – actually pushes creativity higher and delivers better outcomes.

“Stories influence the world. We want to use story-telling for good.”

Adam Grant (Professor, Wharton School of Business; Author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success)

Grant talked about the three kinds of persons you find in the workplace…well, anywhere really: 1) Givers, 2) Takers, and 3) Matchers. After defining each of these and how they interact with each other in the workplace (buy the book), he prescribed ways to build a work culture. A work culture of generosity – the work culture that especially develops the givers, which brings the others along as well.

His three challenges were:

Keep the wrong people off the bus. Get rid of the takers.
Redefine giving. [He talked about the 5-minute favor and the 100 hours of volunteering across a year – these micro-lessons of generosity.]
Encourage help-seekers. – Developing the givers will nurture a culture of “How can I be the rising tide that lifts all boats?” – a Reciprocity Ring.

Dr. Brené Brown (Research Professor, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work; Author of Rising Strong):

“Our brain is neuro-biologically hard-wired in the instant of a [hard time; difficult conversation] to make up a story as to what happened. If we can give our brain a story when something hard happens, we are rewarded by our brain (dopamine). Our brain rewards us whether the story is accurate or not. Our worthiness as people lives inside these stories. When we pretend or deny the story, it owns us. When we own the story, we get to write the ending.”

Photo Credit: TheGuardian.com

Transformational leaders: 1. Do discomfort. 2.They have absolute emotional awareness about their own life, and about the people around them.

“We can’t ignore emotion. We are emotional people who sometimes think. Emotion dictates behavior. If you speak to the way they think or their behaviors, without speaking to their emotions, they will not change. Speak to their emotions. Curiosity and lines of inquiry are the greatest tools of leaders. ‘Help me understand’. “

Sallie Krawcheck (Chair of Ellevate Network; Former President, Bank of America’s Global Wealth & Investment Management):

“The retirement savings crisis is a women’s crisis – we retire with 2/3 the retirement income as men and live 6-8 years longer than men. I love men. I’m married to a man. But you guys are going to die, and we as women will be living with this crisis.”

“My “‘white-hot why’ is advancing women, elevating women. “

“I work every day as though my children are watching me.”

Albert Tate (Founder/Senior Pastor of Fellowship Monrovia, Southern California):

Pastor Tate preached (and I mean preached) on the miracle of Jesus’ feeding of the 5000 (John 6:1-13), using the five loaves of bread and two fish brought to Him from a boy in the crowd.

Tate renounced the leadership lie of “leaving it all on the field”.

“One of the most key things we can do as leaders as to bring what we have, give it to Jesus, and then get out of the way.”

“Leaders, you don’t have to go home on empty. You don’t have to leave it all on the field. Christ left it all on the Cross. Bring what you have. Whatever you have, give it back to Him. Then get out of the way, and watch in awe and wonder at what He does.”

These are just 7 take-aways of the 20 pages of notes I took during today’s Summit. Such great teaching – inspiring, empowering, mystifying, really.

Download the Global Leadership Summit app. Read what you can (in these authors’ books and via all the online resources – articles, blogs, video). Take down the dates for the Global Leadership Summit of 2016 and plan to register early.

Being the leader we hope to be is within our reach.

Post-Script: Michael Jr. was on and off stage to make us laugh and to look at life from just a bit of a different angle. Love him!

Photo Credit: MichaelJrComedy

Global Leadership Summit – Willow Creek Association

Global Leadership Summit App

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Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

July 27, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Turning that last page of a great book is both satisfying and a bit sad. Satisfying in that I have gained so much insight and empowerment in reading Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Sad in that I will miss this super-practical literary journey with Acuff. Such a great read and such a fascinating journey. Looking forward to your next project, Jon.

[Jon Acuff’s words are in italics or bold font. Enjoy.]

Jon starts his section on hustle with a quote by Jack Gilbert: “Music is in the piano only when it is played.” Writing as a not-so-musical member of a musical family, I resonate with this.

In Do Over, hustle is defined as “shorthand for ‘work hard’. Hustle is not just something we add to our Career Savings Account. It is something that multiples everything else we have in it.”

Remember Jon’s formula in Do Over:

(Relationships + Skills + Character) x Hustle = Career Savings Account

To apply hustle, you need grit, flexibility and awareness. As I plowed through Jon Acuff’s writing on hustle, it became very clear that to go after our dreams we have to let go of fear and doubt, all the “what-if’s”, and take hold of what we have to do to get us where we hope to go. It’s work. It’s doable, but we can’t go into it half-way. It takes grit.

“Fear hates hustle. Nothing enrages fear like deciding to actually work hard…Grit is being stubborn in the face of fear. Grit is believing in can when can’t is loud.” – Jon Acuff

Stephen Pressfield says, “The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” (p. 213)

Photo Credit: nathanmillsguitar.com

Flexibility enters in when you refuse to have a narrow view of perfection or success. Instead of believing fear’s lie of “I don’t have what it takes,” flexibility gives you the courage to say, “I have what it takes to try.”

“Fear is not the same thing as regret. Regret is a small stream that cuts a canyon into your heart slowly over time. Will you face the fear of today or the regret of forever? Will you attack your fear of failure, maybe even fail and try again?” – Jon Acuff

Make Grit Decisions.

Here is what Jon says every grit decision needs:

Time – we think the world “hustle” has to mean fast, but it can also mean focus, intention, pace.
Counsel – Lean on your relationships. Some of the worst decisions are made alone. Who are your advocates? Have you given them time to reflect on it or are you rushing right by the wisdom they have to offer? Let them speak into it. A year from now, looking back on the decision, you’ll be glad you made it as a team.
Questions – Always ask awesome opportunities, awesome questions. We skimp on due diligence. “What am I not seeing right now?”
Kindness – Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision, because…you’re going to. Break the tension of feeling like you’re going to be perfect by giving yourself some kindness from the outset.
Honesty – When you look back on a decision, remember that you made that decision with the best information you had at the time.

Acuff encourages the reader to build a Grit List – those things you may not want to do but you know they are the things that will get you in position to take advantage of that career opportunity (stronger relationships, sharpened skills, deeper character). For Jon, one of those things was e-mail. He reconciled the hard work of writing and responding to e-mail in a wise and timely fashion. What would be on your Grit List?

Be aware. “The first half of hustle is addition [new relationships, new skills and new character], but you don’t get to add anything to your life unless you remove something else…You’ll need to find space in your life. “

Photo Credit: acuff.me

My husband says, “Whenever you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else.” What will you say no to, to say yes to this?

In review, at some point during your career you will:

Hit a Career Ceiling and get stuck, requiring sharp skills to free yourself.
Lose a job unexpectedly, or need one upon graduating, requiring strong relationships to survive.
Make a Career Jump, requiring solid character to navigate the chaos that jumps always generate.
And finally, in the case of hustle, you will get a surprise opportunity you didn’t see coming, requiring smart hustle to make the most of it. In moments like that, you’ll need awareness to recognize what to do, grit to actually do it and flexibility to respond to the surprises.

Jon tells story after story in his section on Hustle about ordinary people who overcame their fears and doubts and worked hard to have the careers they wanted. “Every Do Over avoided because of fear fails. Hustle, grit, and flexibility is ‘crawling through a window when the door is slammed shut.'”

“Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other.” – Mary Caroline Richards

Why not me? Why not now? Why not here?

“You really think you can do this?” You’ve probably asked yourself that question. Fear loves that question. On a walk in the woods, on a calm spring day I answered it for myself. “Apparently, I can.”

Finally Jon Acuff looks us straight in the eye, kindly, and says, “I think that can be your answer too. Do you think you can have a Do Over?

Apparently, you can.

[Buy Jon’s book, subscribe to his blog, follow him on Facebook and Twitter, listen to his podcasts. I don’t say this casually. He has won an audience by doing all the hard things he encourages the reader to do and then sharing what he’s learned for pennies when you think how much your life is worth. I’m on my own Do Over. Going for it. Thanks again, Jon.]

Photo Credit: SmartCreativeWomen.com