Category Archives: Remembering

Worship Wednesday – On This Ash Wednesday – Scandal of Grace – Hillsong

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Photo Credit: YouTube

[Blog first posted on Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent 2023 – as we look toward the Cross of Christ.]

God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross.Philippians 2:6-8

Hold with me while we work through the concept of scandal involving grace. We usually think of scandal as a negative, to-be-avoided word, but the first definition that popped up is this:

“A publicized incident that brings about disgrace or offends the moral sensibilities of society”

Not long ago, I heard the song Scandal of Grace for the first time. The lyrics are striking and so moving. As defined above, what Jesus did for us on the day of his crucifixion was scandalous. He suffered false testimony, public humiliation, torturous treatment, the unimaginable weight of our sin on himself, and the horrific aloneness as God the Father seemed to turn His face away…even for a moment.

The Day God Turned His Face Away – Colin Smith

Ash Wednesday begins the season of Lent, counting down to Easter, the day we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Whether or not we commemorate Ash Wednesday, it is a good day to marvel at the Savior we have in Jesus, and the scandalous grace He showed to us on the cross.

Photo Credit: Heartlight
Photo Credit: Salt and Light Blog

John Piper describes (in 2 1/2 minutes) this history-shaking act of God – this death of a sinless Savior for us hopeless sinners. Take the time to watch this and wonder with me at the extravagant love of God.

Worship with me:

Grace, what have You done?
Murdered* for me on that cross
Accused in absence of wrong
My sin washed away in Your blood

*[Only word I struggle with in this song. Jesus gave His life; it was not taken from Him…What seemed like murder was a shocking, wholly loving, definitive, complete and merciful work of God.]

Too much to make sense of it all
I know that Your love breaks my fall
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there’s no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart

Death, where is your sting?
Your power is as dead as my sin
The cross has taught me to live
And mercy, my heart now to sing

The day and its trouble shall come
I know that Your strength is enough
The scandal of grace, You died in my place
So my soul will live

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there’s no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there’s no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart

And it’s all because of You, Jesus
It’s all because of You, Jesus
It’s all because of Your love that my soul will live

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there’s no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart

Oh to be like You
Give all I have just to know You
Jesus, there’s no one besides You
Forever the hope in my heart*

*Lyrics to Scandal of Grace – Songwriters:

YouTube Video – Scandal of Grace Song Story (story begins about 1 minute in)

Worship Wednesday – Ash Wednesday – the 40-Day Lenten Road to Easter – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Ash Wednesday – Lenten Practices – Deb Mills

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Photo Credit: Heartlight

Worship Wednesday – Faith + Hope = Trust – Brennan Manning

Photo Credit: Quotefancy

You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”Proverbs 3:5-6

Be anxious about nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

My word for 2025 is trust. It was a curious choice for me – Holy Spirit inspired – because I rarely use that word. However, just in the last few weeks, I’ve been diving into its meaning to the believer. Author, speaker Brennan Manning, in his book Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God has helped me understand it better.

Mid-way through the book, he proposes a single equation:

Faith + Hope = Trust.

Faith and trust are words often used interchangeably. How I see them now is this: Faith focuses on God’s character, His promises, and His power. We have faith in Him because of what He says about Himself and how we have seen Him act in history and in the lives of those around us and in our very own lives. Faith believes “He can.” Hope focuses on what’s coming in the future and how God, based on our faith and experience already, He will act. Hope is positive because we have experienced the movement of God as positive. Then trust relates to the relationship between God and me. I have faith He can do something; I have hope that He is going to do something (good), and I trust, because of His love, He will do that good thing for me. Our trust does extend to others, believing that God’s love and goodness includes others. However, trust is deeply personal and experiential. As we grow in trust, we grow in our understanding of His love. Out of that comes deep gratitude…even in our darkest of times.

Photo Credit: Quotefancy

The reality of naked trust is the life of the pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise.”
― Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God

“We are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let’s not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.” ― Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust: The Ragamuffin’s Path to God

Why is Brennan Manning lovable in the eyes of God?  Because on February 8th of 1956, in a shattering, life-changing experience, I committed my life to Jesus.  Does God love me because ever since I was ordained a priest in 1963, I roamed the country and lately all over the world proclaiming the Good News of the gospel of grace?  Does God love me because I tithe to the poor?  Does he love me because back in New Orleans I work on skid row with alcoholics, addicts, and those who suffer with AIDS?  Does God love me because I spend two hours every day in prayer?  If I believe that stuff I’m a Pharisee!  Then I feel I’m entitled to be comfortably close to Christ because of my good works.  The gospel of grace says, “Brennan, you’re lovable for one reason only—because God loves you.  Period.”Brennan Manning

[Some of my favorite books – Manning’s most famous book The Ragamuffin Gospel is loaned out.]

[The video below is 3:42 minutes of Brennan Manning’s understanding of God and His love for us. Powerful.]

Worship with me to Twila Paris“Do I Trust You, Lord?”. This song came out in 1994. I remember many times sitting at the piano singing that song, with tears streaming down my cheeks…feeling His presence even in the grief of those moments…trusting Him.

Sometimes my little heart can’t understand
What’s in Your will, what’s in Your plan
So many times I’m tempted to ask You why
But I can never forget it for long
Lord, what You do could not be wrong
So I believe You, even when I must cry

Chorus:
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the river flow?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the north wind blow?
You can see my heart
You can read my mind
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love
Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I know the answers, I’ve given them all
But suddenly now, I feel so small
Shaken down to the cavity in my soul
I know the doctrine and theology
But right now they don’t mean much to me
This time there’s only one thing I’ve got to know

Chorus:
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does the robin sing?
Do I trust You, Lord?
Does it rain in spring?
You can see my heart
You can read my mind
And You got to know
That I would rather die
Than to lose my faith
In the One I love

Do I trust You, Lord?
Do I trust You?

I will trust You, Lord, when I don’t know why
I will trust You, Lord, till the day I die
I will trust You, Lord, when I’m blind with pain!
You were God before, and You’ll never change
I will trust You

I will trust You
I will trust You, Lord
I will trust You*

Our dear brother Brennan Manning had many dark periods in his life – depression, alcoholism, terrible self-doubt. If you have read any of his books, you will see the beauty of his struggle. God was there with him in the dark. Manning wrote brilliantly and experientially about the love of God, His character and transcendence, and the persevering nature of the Trinity drawing him to Himself…through it all. Another Twila Paris song which I also sang in times of weakness and doubt reminds me of him – “The Warrior Is a Child”. Take time to play it in memory of our brother (died in 2013) and in honor of the God who sees us wherever we are and stays with us in His incomprehensible love.

The Warrior is a Child – Twila Paris (Orig. 1984 Version) – YouTube

*Lyrics to “Do I Trust You, Lord?” – Songwriter: Twila Paris

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the New Year – Trust – the Object of Our Trust Matters – Deb Mills

Farewell, Brennan – Philip Yancey

What More Could He Have Done for Us? – Anthony Delaney

Saint Brennan Manning: A Ragamuffin to the End – Tim Suttle

The Difference Between, Hope, Faith, and Trust

Photo Credit: IMG Flip

Worship Wednesday – Oh, But God – Davy Flowers

Photo Credit: YouTube, Davy Flowers

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.Genesis 50:20

When they had carried out all that was written about Him, they took Him down from the tree and laid Him in a tomb. But God raised Him from the dead.Acts 13:29-30

But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8

“All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)”Ephesians 2:3-5

Life has a certain un-doing about it that we run up against if we’re not vigilant. A move to seek the approval of others. A falling into the sin of satisfying self – whatever form that takes. A selfish ambition. A hidden sin or invisible shame that draws us away from community. A vengeance on someone we think we deserve. A violence enacted against ourselves or another. An appearance of Godliness we come to think is enough and believable. A grace withheld. A professed forgiveness but without fruit.

But God! These are not nothing to Him, but God is all-powerful in confronting them. Our sin does not surprise Him, nor are His purposes thwarted by them. He continues to draw us back to Himself. His Spirit guides us to live in the light and exposes the sins and deceit that come between us and the Lord.

We may wonder at how victory is possible in light of our past (or present even). Yet, it is better to reckon with how sin has shaped us than to deny its power. When we deny the scope of our sin, then we downplay God’s holiness and sacrifice to forgive us our sin. Also, when we live in shame over our past, we do the same. We live in functional disbelief that God is able to wholly forgive us and even bring good and glory out of our past (Romans 8:28).

Jesus looked straight at them and said, “There are some things people cannot do, but God can do anything.”Matthew 19:26

Recently, we sang a new song in worship at Movement Church. It was “Oh But God” by singer, songwriter Davy Flowers. It pierced my heart with joy to be reminded of how far God was willing to come to save me. Even knowing me and what sin I was capable of, He loved me still. He knew what HE was capable of in transforming me into the image of Jesus. Glory! Glory to His name!

Worship with me.

I was buried beneath my rebellion
Lost without hope of redemption
Blind to my need for a Savior
Oh but God

Crushed by the weight of my failure
Living the lie I created
Digging my grave without knowing
Oh but God, oh but God

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God

You gave me a truth worth believing
And I traded my chains for Your freedom
‘Cause You were the One that I needed
Oh but God

Resurrected my heart from the ruins
And my rеscue came through like thе morning
And now this is my sure testimony
Oh but God, oh but God

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God

[Bridge]
All the wreckage of my choices
You have turned to life from ashes
Lifted from death, risen with Him
Now I stand in confidence
And I know that all the wreckage of my choices
You have turned to life from ashes
Lifted from death and risen with Him
Now I stand in confidence, oh

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross, oh, You are
Rich in mercy, how You love me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God, oh but God

[Outro]
Oh but God, oh but God*

*Lyrics to “Oh But God” – Songwriters: Davy Flowers, Bryan Fowler, & Matt Armstrong

Faith Behind the Song: “Oh But God” Davy Flowers – Scott Savage

Worship Wednesday – “But God” – How Beautiful – Twila Paris – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Take Courage – Kristene DiMarco – Deb Mills

Saturday Short – Gratitude and the Brain – and a Musical Assist by Benjamin William Hastings

Photo Credit: Twitter

Adapted from the Archives

Have you noticed the increased expressions of gratitude on your social media? At least in the US, we are winding down from Thanksgiving Day festivities. Some of us take this occasion as an opportunity, through the month of November, to daily and publicly express our gratitude. Based on what we know from research, this could make this time of the year one of our happiest and least stressful of the year.

Below you’ll find quotes from some of these authors, reporting on both clinical research and anecdotal data that support how the practice of gratitude can actually alter our habits of thinking and our sense of well-being. It’s all good for us and those around us.

“Our brain is always on alert to threat and is more predisposed to look at the negative side of life [stress response]. There are many things that happen to us everyday that are positive but we don’t notice them because we are always looking for the next threat to us. Now these actions are below our level of awareness. It takes some concerted effort to get our brain to move to the positive side of life. And that is where paying attention and expressing gratitude plays a role in establishing that positive mindset. When we start to place attention on the positive events in our life our brain responds by producing the neurotransmitter dopamine…We do feel better when dopamine is flowing but that also makes are brain want more – so it becomes the motivating neurotransmitter also…In addition, the brain loves confirmation bias: it looks for things that prove what it already believes to be true. Dopamine then strengthens that action. So if you start seeing things in your life that you are grateful for, your brain will start looking for more things to be grateful for.Patricia Faust, How Gratitude Affects the Brain

Photo Credit: UsefulGen

Six Habits of Highly Grateful People:

  1. Once in awhile, they think about death and loss. – As we think of past losses and future losses (say of those we love), we remember and reflect on the good we’ve known in those situations or relationships. Of future losses, we then take action to savor and bless those persons while we have them near.
  2. They take time to smell the roses. – Whether our current situation feels difficult or just mundane, we look for the beauty.
  3. They take the good things as gifts, not birthrights. – We see entitlement for the life-diminishing thing it is.
  4. They’re grateful to people, not just things. – We can be thankful for great food, for blue skies, for warm clothing, but we go beyond that to the one(s) who provided the good we have.
  5. They mention the pancakes. Being grateful for the specific little things disciplines us to enlarge our gratitude for the greater things in our lives. Those things that can cause stress if we don’t remember the value and significance in them.
  6. They thank outside the box. Even in adversity or hard times, we can find things for which to be grateful. Gratefulness doesn’t minimize the difficulty; it actually strengthens us to endure.

Six Habits of Highly Grateful People – Jeremy Adam Smith

Photo Credit: Animalia-Life

“Given its magnetic appeal, it is a wonder that gratitude might be rejected. Yet it is. If we fail to choose it, by default we choose ingratitude. Millions make this choice every day.

Why? Provision, whether supernatural or natural, becomes so commonplace that it is easily accepted for granted.  We believe the universe owes us a living. We do not want to be beholden. Losing sight of protection, favors, benefits and blessings renders a person spiritually and morally bankrupt.  It’d be hard to improve upon the words of our 16th President in 1863:

‘We have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nation ever has grown; but we have forgotten God! We have forgotten the gracious Hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own.’” – What Gets in the Way of Gratitude? – Robert Emmons

Photo Credit: HPRC

8 Ways to Express Your Gratitude

  1. Keep a gratitude journal.
  2. Write a gratitude letter to a past mentor or teacher.
  3. Count how many things you can find to be grateful for in each room of your home.
  4. Listen to a guided gratitude meditation [my suggestion if you don’t prefer guided meditation: spend some time in the Psalms].
  5. Start business meetings with a “what went well” one-sentence reflection.
  6. Savor receiving thanks.
  7. Take a daily photo of something you are grateful for and post to Instagram or Facebook, tagging it with #365project.
  8. Try a gratitude jar or tree.  – Tamara Lechner, The Neuroscience Behind Gratitude: How Does Cultivating Appreciation Affect Your Brain?

So…what are you grateful for at this moment?

And for me? More than I can count…including these two songs:

How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain – Joshua Brown, Joel Wong

How Gratitude Can Help You Through Hard Times – Robert Emmons

Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy – Nancy Leigh DeMoss

The Science of Gratitude – a White Paper – UC Berkeley

Photo Credit: Robert Emmons, Greater Good, Daily Good
Photo Credit: Marilyn Comrie – Facebook

Monday Morning Moment – Thanksgiving Memories – All Good Gifts

2006 -- Nov -- Thanksgiving table

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. James 1:17

[Adapted from the Archives]

For most of 20 years, we lived in North Africa where a Thanksgiving holiday was a foreign concept. “Eid el Shukr” (“Feast of Thanks” in Arabic) was understood but not a day set aside. We, along with other expat Americans, brought Thanksgiving with us and invited our local friends into the experience. On the surface, American Thanksgiving has pretty much three constant components – food, family, and football.

Back in the States, the old traditions are changing and yet stay sweetly familiar. My Mom, who always laid out an incredible Southern-style feast on the kitchen counter at home in Georgia, is no longer with us. As with some of you, I’m sure, I miss her still every day and how she lavished love on us through these family times together. Our children are grown now and establishing their own traditions with more families and friends added into the mix. Each year, we find ourselves re-working our own traditions as well.

Thanksgiving is again, for many of us, all about food, family, and football…but there’s also another element…faith… I am grateful every day for the kindnesses of God and those he’s placed in our lives. Celebrating Thanksgiving allows us to put an exclamation point on being grateful. It’s not just about a table full of food, although food is clearly a focal point. Thanksgiving, even as a national holiday and not a religious one, focuses our sight beyond ourselves. There is an object in Thanksgiving beyond ourselves.

Over 50 years ago, a funky little Broadway musical was turned into a film – Godspell. It was an adaptation of the life of Jesus according to the Gospel of Matthew. At that time, I was in the season of life that young people pass through of searching out what exactly I believed. It wasn’t going well at that time. Praise God, He did not forget me during those days when I had all but forgotten Him. Watching the film Godspell was one of the occasions God used to wake me up. There’s a wonder and delight in the young followers of Jesus in the musical. It reminded me of what I had once with God…and what could be again.

All the songs in the musical Godspell are lovely. Composer and lyricist, Stephen Schwartz, beautifully captured some of Jesus’ teaching and the depth of love and rightness between Him, His followers, and creation, in general. All Good Gifts, adapted from an old hymn, is one such song and is a pure and proper doxology of praise for Thanksgiving.

Worship with me. 

All Good Gifts*
We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..
But it is fed and watered by God’s almighty hand..
He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain…
The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain…

All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above
Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love…

We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,
The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,
No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts
But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!

All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above..
Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love..

I really wanna thank you Lord!
All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above..
Then thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love..

Food – Family Favorites in Mom’s Kitchen
Football – on T.V. or out on the street with cousins and friends
Family – Time together…savoring every minute

Happy Thanksgiving…

Oh…just in case Thanksgiving is a struggle…and it isn’t all happy family fun…I pray you take courage and rein in your heart to remember that God sees and loves you. We can be a Thanksgiving blessing to each other…if you’ve read this far…you are a blessing to me. Wish you were at our table…maybe one day you will be. You are definitely welcome at God’s table.

YouTube Video – Take Courage – Kristene DiMarco

*Lyrics and Story Behind the Song – All Good Gifts (Godspell)

YouTube Video – All Good Gifts (Godspell 1990)

YouTube Video Clip – All Good Gifts (Godspell original cast 1973)

Wikipedia article on original hymn/lyric – We Plough the Fields and Scatter (1862)

Thanksgiving with MomMom
[Thanksgiving with the kids, 2015 – and a napping first-born grandchild not in pic]

Monday Morning Moment – Finishing Strong – On the Anniversary of Mom’s Glorious Homegoing

[Adapted from the Archives]

We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

My Mom was a young 72 when she was diagnosed with cancer. A year younger than I am right now. We were overseas at the time, and I wanted so to be home with her. She was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma – supposedly “the best kind of cancer you can have”. Highly treatable. Long remissions. Often cured. Mom would still die after 3 years of intensive, and sometimes experimental, chemotherapy. She never caught a break. Yet, she didn’t look at it that way.

Her journey with God in those days was other-worldly. The Mom I knew loved to serve people, and cancer would not stop that. She had grown up poor and with a dad who could be mean when he drank. She dreamed of college but it was never meant to be. Instead she became a student of life, and she never tired of that. She was a beautiful blend of Mary and Martha – wholly satisfied whether “sitting at the feet of Jesus” or serving the needs of those around her. I love that she was my Mom.

She taught me how to live…and she taught me how to die. We were home in the States when Mom’s cancer finished its course in her. She never spent a night in the hospital throughout those three years.  She stubbornly guarded her time at home and had the will and the support (of my Dad, family and friends) to endure from home…and there was God, holding her tight against the storm.

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Mom never prayed for healing, but we did. Mom prayed that this cancer, the illness and all that was part of it (including a devastating Shingles-related neuralgia), would bring glory to God. Her prayer was answered, and ours, ultimately, in Heaven.

Her dying took three days. If you had known my Mom, you knew a person that was all about life – helping and encouraging others, pointing them to God, determined, in faith, to make sense of what seemed utter nonsense. She continued to be about that until she went into a coma the last day. While she was awake that final weekend, I asked her (over and again) how she was. One time, I remember, she nodded a bit, and whispered, “I’m O.K.” It was her face that spoke volumes. Forehead lifted, blue eyes bright, an almost sunny expression. That “I’m O.K.” was accompanied by an almost delighted look of marvel…of wonder. Like, “Wow! I really am O.K.!” God was meeting her at the point of her greatest need.

Mom and I have always had amazing talks about the deep things of God and life. She told me one time that she envied us our certainty of His call to a life overseas. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard God speak so clearly to me,” she lamented. In the last days of her life, it came to me to ask her if she heard God speak to her lately. She answered right away, with that same look of wonder, “All the time!” If cancer had to be the instrument of such grace, then it became a gift to her.

Mom entered Eternity during the reading of 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 (see above). Her young pastor and his wife came unexpectedly that evening, rushing in, wide-eyed, as if on a mission. We brought them back to her room, and they sat with us, around her bed. She had been unresponsive all day. Her pastor opened his Bible and began reading. Mom had this sweet habit of knitting her forehead and shaking her head, in response to something that touched her heart. As he read, after being quiet and still all day, she knit her forehead and breathed her last. We all felt transfigured in that moment.

Today marks 22 years since Mom went to be with the Lord, and I miss her today and every day. She was so spent when she left us, yet gloriously whole at the same time. A bit of prose from Henry Van Dyke always comes to mind in thinking of her Homegoing.

Gone From My Sight by Henry Van Dyke

Photo Credit: Curt Ellis

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me — not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

Mom taught us how to live…and she taught us how to die. She “fought the good fight…finished the race…and kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7). For us, there is still a race to be run.

Thanks, Mom, for showing us how it’s done. See you at the Finish Line.

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When it’s all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters:
Did I do my best to live for truth, did I live my life for You?
When it’s all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I’ve done for love’s reward
Will stand the test of time.

Lord, Your mercy is so great
That You look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay
Making sinners into saints

I will always sing Your praise
Here on earth and ever after
For You’ve shown me Heaven’s my true home
When it’s all been said and done
You’re my life when life is gone.

Lord I’ll live my life for You.

Lyrics & Music by Jim Cowan © 1999 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music

Mom’s Irises

YouTube Video – When It’s All Been Said and Done

Her Children Arise and Call Her Blessed – David Mathis – Charles Spurgeon’s reflections on a Godly mother

Worship Wednesday – My Story and My Jesus – Anne Wilson

When I was a little girl, God showed Himself to be a Father to me.  At that time, my family had some hard days.  My mother took care of us, and she was always working.  I wanted to help her and tried always to be good.  Even as a young child, I found it was impossible for me to be good all the time.  I felt bad when my brothers and I quarreled which made my mom sad.  We began going to a church when I was five or 6. It was the first time hearing about God’s love for us, no matter what. I was relieved to learn that everybody has the same problem of trying unsuccessfully to be good.  The Bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  How can we know a holy God then?  How can we be reconciled to Him?  In His mercy, He provided a way….a Saviour.  Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth, the life.  No one comes to the Father but by me” (John 14:6).  As I learned more about God, and how He revealed Himself to us through His Word, Jesus, I wanted to give my life to Him…. To serve Him; to be His child.

At 9 years of age, I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and to come into my heart.  My older brother and I came to faith around the same time, and we were baptized together in a sawmill pond near our church.

I’ve been in relationship with God now over 60 years, and every day I am more grateful for His love and power in my life.  He is my Lord and my God…and My Father forever.

There are three significant spiritual markers in my life after coming to faith in Christ.

1) At 14y/o, at a youth retreat, around a campfire, we were challenged to examine our lives to see if we were ready to meet God that night.  I knew I wasn’t ready because my life, as a teen, didn’t reflect a life surrendered to Him. I did business with the Lord again that night (“rededication” would be the word used in those days).

2) At 18y/o, I went to a very liberal university, in my home state of Georgia, and although I’d felt prepared spiritually for entering college life, my faith took a beating.  Confronted often by secular, and sometimes hostile, classmates made me timid…and then I went into a season of living almost two lives – deceived and deceitful – serving in my church as a youth worker, and then living a worldly life at college and for a few years after college.  In my mid-20’s, the LORD got hold of my heart again, thanks to the persevering love of a Godly friend.  After that, I never looked back.  The LORD had captured my heart, and I knew there was no other life for me but to follow Him completely.

3) The third spiritual marker came in my late 30’s, but before sharing that, I can say that life with the LORD had become an incredible journey.  In my late 20’s, I served college students in a large church in Atlanta.  It was also a great blessing for me to go on several summer missions trips, doing evangelism and construction projects — Mexico, the Philippines, and Haiti.  During this time, I was applying to mission agencies, and seeking God’s direction.  After a particularly difficult summer in Haiti, I put the applications on hold, because it seemed I wasn’t really ready (mature enough?) for overseas service.  Without going into further detail, I ended up moving to Connecticut for a teaching job, working in a Southern Baptist church plant there, and meeting David.  We married, he finished his PhD, we moved to Tennessee, and had 3 children — Christie, Nathan, & Daniel (he came to us through adoption, but was “born” into our family in Tennessee).

All during these years, I was seeking the LORD and serving Him in some capacity or another — leading discipleship groups or prayer groups or being involved in local missions.  However, with the weight of responsibility of marriage and then children, and trying to continue being connected with my professional life and service in church….the joy went out of my life.  I questioned my salvation, because it seemed there was just no power for my life in Christ.  I knew He wasn’t at fault, so it must have been me.  Well, long story short:  I happened upon the Experiencing God (Henry Blackaby) Bible study and the LORD really did a work of healing in my life through that.  In that study, He began correcting some of my thinking about living victoriously in Christ.  Then about that same time, Dave and I attended a conference on spiritual revival with Henry Blackaby and Richard Owen Roberts….and the Holy Spirit so moved in my heart that I have never again questioned my salvation.  So grateful for His grace.

A few years after this, Dave experienced a call to overseas service, and then our calls were joined (mine coming to fruition many years later than I’d first thought).  Seeing GOD work in impossible situations has enlarged our faith and gratitude to Him for His love that will not let go.  We’ve see the work of the Cross in the lives of people who were far from GOD, as well as in some who thought they were doing all the right religious things, but really didn’t know GOD.  It’s been amazing to watch GOD draw people to Himself…some through very difficult situations. Yet He moved in and through those situations to redeem people to Himself.

In recent years, we have encountered all the too usual challenges of life – illness, deaths of loved ones, broken relationships, family struggles, altered dreams. Yet the beautiful constant has been Jesus.

Wherever you are in your faith walk, if you know Jesus as the One who made a way for you to come back to the Father, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. If you’re going through hard times or you think you’ve lost your way back to Him…turn your face to Him. He is closer than you think.

Worship with me to Anne Wilson‘s anthem of praise to her Jesus, “My Jesus”, written when she was a teen and her older brother was killed in an accident.

Are you past the point of weary?
Is your burden weighing heavy?
Is it all too much to carry?
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus
Do you feel that empty feeling?
‘Cause shame’s done all its stealing
And you’re desperate for some healing
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus[Chorus]
He makes a way where there ain’t no way
Rises up from an empty grave
Ain’t no sinner that He can’t save
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus
His love is strong and His grace is free
And the good news is I know that He
Can do for you what He’s done for me
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus
And let my Jesus change your life[Post-Chorus]
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, amen, amen

[Verse 2]
Who can wipe away the tears
From broken dreams and wasted years
And tell the past to disappear? Oh
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus
And all the wrong turns that you would
Go and undo if you could
Who can work it all for your good
Let me tell you ’bout my Jesus

[Post-Chorus]
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah, amen, amen
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelujah (Amen, amen)
Let my Jesus change your life*

*Lyrics to My Jesus – Songwriters: Anne Wilson, Jeff Pardo, Matthew West

YouTube Video – Anne Wilson – Strong (Official Performance Lyric Video)

‘My Jesus’: The Story behind 19-Year-Old Anne Wilson’s Song

YouTube Video – Never Once [ With Lyrics] – Matt Redman

YouTube Video – Story Behind “Never Once” – Matt Redman

Worship Wednesday – If It Wasn’t For Jesus – Benjamin William Hastings

[A self-portrait for a photography class. In my 20s. Conflicted. Alone. Yet…not forgotten by God. Whew.]

From that time on many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus asked the Twelve, “Do you want to leave too?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God.”John 6:66-69

Last year I heard Benjamin William Hastings in concert for the very first time. He doesn’t just sing; he worships. In a large concert space, packed with people, he seemed so small on the stage (and I was seated close-up). Partly because of the humility in his posture and countenance, and mostly because he pointed us, through his lyrics and singing, to the larger presence in the room. Jesus.

[I’ve written about several of his songs already in this blog. Find them here.]

Hastings’ newest single is “If It Wasn’t for Jesus”. It took me back to my disordered youth and it also resonates with me today in this disordered world of ours.

Somewhere around the age of 6, my family started going to church. I had solid teaching there for sure. Still the world presses in, and between that and my own fleshly desires for the approval of others, I faltered in my faith. During college especially and then in my 20s working in a high-pressure secular environment. It didn’t seem like I could follow Jesus and also be considered winsome in the world’s eyes. I was so deceived back then. Still “attending” church every week, even in the role of leading youth, and yet double-minded. Wanting to have the favor of those in my workspace, and pleasing those in my social circle, while also enjoying the honor of my position in church. Looking back, I still shudder at the deceit that bound me up in those days.

God did not forget me in those days. He drew me back to Himself. Thankful for Godly friends and mentors who pointed me to Him, spoke truth to me in love, and held me close until I came to my senses.

I don’t know much of Benjamin William Hastings’ story, but his music gives the message that God is so much bigger than our failures. His love is perfect, and in our weakness, He faithfully demonstrates His strength. I didn’t take sin seriously in those days, but, praise God, He did not let me slip too far from Him.

Photo Credit: Benjamin William Hastings

“My new single ‘If it wasn’t for Jesus’ is all about reflecting on where I’d be if it wasn’t for these amazing divine encounters with God, and then arriving at gratitude because of the intervention of God.” – Benjamin William Hastings

Looking at life today, like Hastings, I am constantly grateful. In the midst of the crazy of this world, I know that God is with us and will, as He has promised, work good for His children and glory for His beautiful, righteous triune Self.

Like Hastings sings: Only God knows where I’d be without Him…but I can confirm (based on my past and the weakness of our flesh without Him) it would not be pretty. I don’t have to be plagued with that thought anymore. He did what He had to do to save me and bring me out of death into life, and I will walk with Him, however imperfectly, until the day we meet face to face forever.

What’s your story? Please leave a comment if you want to…

“Your love, Lord, since I found it [Don’t wanna live without it]. Hands high, open-hearted. Where would I be without Your love, Lord!”

Worship with me:

Don’t know how I ever did it
Go a day without You in it
Guess You were and I just missed it
For all the ways that life worked out
When I look back, man there’s no doubt
How lost I’d be right now

If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Thinking I knew ’bout freedom with chains on my feet
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus

Don’t know why You ever did it
Trading places with a cynic
Gave your life while I dismissed it
But in my mess, or in my doubts
You reached through hell, You brought me out
I doubt I’d still be here right now

If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Oh I remember the feeling, without You it’s bleak
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for

Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be

If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus
I’d still be falling to pieces, but missing a piece
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for

Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted

Where would I be without it*

Benjamin William Hastings

*Lyrics to “If It Wasn’t For Jesus” – Songwriter: Benjamin William Hastings

Anniversary Milestone – 40 Years Married – a Walk with God and Each Other

2009 April May Trip to Georgia 112 (2)

[Adapted from the Archives]

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.  – Colossians 3:15-20

On August 4, we will be 40 years married! Whew! Thanks be to God!

The flight of years shows in our bodies and minds, but for us, it is most apparent in the launch of adult children into their own lives, work, and marriages. Then…it comes back to just the two of us…and I am grateful for his company.

IMG_0009 (2)

Our marriage has always been of a quiet steady sort . My husband and I married best friends. We were polar opposites in most ways, except our faith and being raised in Southern families, with Godly, praying mamas. He was “read and follow directions” marrying “fly by the seat of her pants.” It was definitely a match made in Heaven because we would need the God of Heaven to keep us on course as we figured marriage out…both without and, later, with children.

In fact, those of you who know us well know the struggles we have had figuring out parenting (both young children and then adult children). Also the challenges of having very different ideas and giftings on doing life. I’ve written so much about this in my journals over the years, wrestling with God and my own heart in these areas. Should our kids read those journals one day, I trust them to handle the pages of angst about our marriage with gentleness and understanding. Hopefully they have always seen us pull together more than pull apart.

I’ve often quoted Elisabeth Elliot on love and marriage. Two thoughts come to mind. She speaks of love as being “a laid-down life.” She also talks of marriage as being good for Christians to mature in their walk with God, because [in marriage] “there’s so much scope for sinning.” My husband has taught me a lot in both of these areas, and I, him – hopefully more on the lines of laying down our lives for each other, rather than the scope for sinning part…sigh.

2005 December - Christmas with Mills & Halls 089a (2)

Whatever these nearing forty years have produced with us together, the best of it has been 3 great young people (and the 2 beautiful extra children who’ve joined our family through them, so far)…and GRANDCHILDREN! Alongside those treasures is the unalterable way the Lord has knit us together, my husband and me, with each other and with Him.

I have some idea what is ahead, given our ages and the world around us (we’ve already been through a cancer diagnosis, big job changes, losses of dear parents, and sickness in our children and grandchildren). The hard is softened by what is promised (and proven) through God’s Word. Whatever is ahead, I am so grateful for what I’ve learned through this man who married me 40 years ago.

He has given me the face of a man who does not give up, of one who never leaves the room, of one who fights for what is right, of one who is tender toward the weak, of one who loves no matter what. I have been both the recipient of this and the one by his side as he extends himself to others.

Now, we are two again…as in the beginning of our relationship.  Yet we are at a very different place. God has shown Himself to be ever-present in all these years of our lives. For many years I didn’t think marriage was to be mine…then Dave came into my life quite providentially. God gave me exactly what I needed in this husband of mine – a man as true as steel in his walk with God and with his family. We count on him; he counts on God. Whatever happens out there in front of us…I have peace, on this 40th anniversary, that God will be there for each of us, to show us how to live…as He has in all these years thus far.

Through the Years – YouTube video of Kenny Rogers Ballad

YouTube Video – Jesus and You – Matthew West

YouTube Video – You’re Still the One – Shania Twain [Twain’s “still the one” is no longer her one, but the song is beautiful. So I wanted to keep it in this list since Dave’s still my one.]

YouTube Video – Brandon Lake – NOTHING NEW (I DO) – Wedding Version ft. Brittany Lake

Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy – by Gary Thomas – Such a great book!

An example of Elisabeth Elliot’s counsel to one marrying – Always forgive.

Elisabeth Elliot Quotes

Monday Morning Moment – Laughter – Medicine for the Heart

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Here’s to all those who make us laugh! Without any need for alcohol or even inspiration, something said or done, a facial expression or shoulder shrug, and we are happily taken off-guard and laughter follows. No matter the setting. In fact, I have memories of laughing with friends at the family visitation before my mom’s funeral. As off-putting as that might have been for some, it was a joy in reminiscing over shared times together, with Mom in the mix. I’m sure in some Heavenly space, Mom was glad for that momentary release from grief for us. Laughter…what a gift!

Photo Credit: Swedish proverb, PPT-Online

Earlier this morning, I was thrifting with my friend, Angela. We were scanning titles in the used book section of the store, out of view of each other. Then I heard her actively engaged in animated conversation with a man also looking at books. They clearly knew each other and their laughter at this chance meeting splashed over into my own heart. He was an old co-worker from another season of her life, Angela would tell me, and it was a happy remembrance of those days.

For me, it was just fun to hear her laugh. I was reminded of a situation yesterday afternoon while reading a book my daughter had shared with me. She said I should occasionally take a break from my serious non-fiction reading and recharge with some fiction. The first book she lent me, some weeks ago, was author Gary D. Schmidt‘s Okay For Now. [I highly recommend it to anyone who needs a break from the serious.] I finished it in a couple of days. Then she gave me Schmidt’s The Wednesday Wars. Both books tell the story of middle school boys and the trials and tribulations of their lives (as seen through their oftentimes hilarious take on reality). The stories are set in the late 60s during the Vietnam War era (I resonated so much with that period and those stories).

There’s an especially funny part in The Wednesday Wars where seventh-grader Hollings, the hero of this story, was assisting the school custodian, who was replacing bulging ceiling tiles damaged by two enormous rats. Previously, the rats were the class pets (cute when tiny, terrifying once grown) but they escaped and built a nest in the unseen space above. In dislodging one tile, the custodium unleashed an avalanche – the gross, chewed up contents of the rats’ nest fell straight down onto Hollings’ head. [You’ve got to read it to know just how hysterical it was.] Reading that portion out loud to husband Dave – we were both laughing so hard, it was nearly impossible for me to finish what I wanted to share with him.

Laughter.

All this gave pause today, thinking about the joy of laughter. I’m a fairly serious sort, so folks aren’t drawn to me for hilarity. You can count on me to stay in the room if you’re struggling with something. Hopefully, you might feel better, encouraged, hopeful after our visit, but laughing out loud? Probably not. Thankfully, others bring that gracious gift to relationships.

[I actually took a few minutes to go through my phone directory to be reminded of those who simply brighten life by showing up…more than that, they regularly make me laugh. They probably aren’t that way all the time, but they are genuinely and gently funny. Steve C., John D., Sarah DeJ., David G., Anne S., Heba T., and Sharon W. Combinations of people also have a chemistry that literally combusts laughter for everyone – Khiry, Cam, and EB are such friends. Who are your people?]

Being a serious person who leads a fairly quiet life, I end up going to reels on social media for laughter (too often really; should just invite these friends over for dinner…or invite ourselves for coffee dates). Recommended for you are the three comedians below…there are many others, including folks who are just funny without making a living at it. Please put any favorites of yours in the Comments.

Michael Jr. – From Comedy to Clarity

John B. Crist

Leanne Morgan Comedy

Nate Bargatze

Finally, in my family of introverts, I’ve had great cause for laughter. Husband Dave is one who makes me laugh. He can be very serious himself, but his take on life can be quite oddly funny. He also remembers perfect lines from movies for just about any situation.

Then there are our children. Christie, as older sister to her brothers, has always been a buffer for their shenanigans. She calls them back to perspective and, like her dad, has a sharp memory for stories, situations, and song lyrics (that make us laugh and can shake us all out of sourness). Her tales of babysitting in college and teaching kids in public school are still favorites when we’re together. Now with children of her own (who aren’t subjects for social media), she captures the sweet and funny with them and shares with us.

Nathan, our middle child, makes us laugh, with his many faces, and his wise and sometimes unusual takes on life. Growing up, he could be hard on both his big sister and little brother, and yet he also brought the joy. Even more now.

[Nathan with one of his many faces and post-anesthesia after wisdom tooth extraction. Legendary.]

Daniel, our youngest, is also one who can make us laugh and whom we want to make laugh. He loses it better than anyone I know. We never tire of each of the kids’ retelling stories of Daniel’s antics growing up and his many funny outbursts and creative word pronunciations. We have hilarious memories from our family vacations together, especially in the seaside town of Oualidia, Morocco. Like experiencing seafood we’d never eaten before – sea urchin (the spiny exterior was still moving) is one that caused uncontrollable laughter at our table.

Our Daniel works very hard at living independently and can take the struggles of life too deeply to heart. That’s why it’s especially lovely for his Mom to have his siblings around the table to pull that smile and laughter out of him.

Is There Laughter in Your Walls? – Cavin Harper

The grandkids are their own story which I won’t share here. Still, don’t kids say amazing things? Their wonder and joy at living, their perspective on life, and their sibling and cousin challenges and how they get sorted…always make me smile.

So there you go…now, you may be one of those people in your world that makes others laugh. I just want to thank you for that. If you’re one who takes life more seriously (as part of your own wiring), and you don’t have regular encounters with the people above, maybe it’s time to take an inventory. Watching YouTube videos or Instagram reels are a bandaid for sure, but let’s be intentional about having laughter in our lives. That generous kind that spills over into the lives of others. Bring it!

[Please comment on those folks, professional and personal, who make you laugh. Share away. Also what do you do to up your appreciation of the joys around you? – like collecting and remembering stories, journaling the joys of life, being present in the moment wherever you are and whomever you’re with.]

Laughter in the Walls – a poem by Bob Benson

Leave Some Laughter in Your Walls – The Raineys

The Science Behind the Joy of Sharing Joy – Emma Seppälä Ph.D.

Stress Relief from Laughter? It’s No Joke – Mayo Clinic

How Does Humor Affect Mental Health? – Dan Brennan

Give Your Body a Boost–with Laughter – R. Morgan Griffin

Feel-good Hormones: How They Affect Your Mind, Mood, and Body – Stephanie Watson