A Psalm Of David 1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet (still) waters, 3 he refreshes my soul, He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. 6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. – Psalm 23
My husband rarely travels for work these days, but this week he’s been away. He’s back today, but when he is away, the house is unusually quiet. Especially at night. Now for some of you, this is a common experience. Being just you at home in the dark of night. For me, for now, it is still a wrestling.
As I turn off the lights and lock everything up, settling into bed and the quiet, this old house seems to wake up. With all kinds of little creaking noises. What they do is stir up in my mind all the thoughts.
Life is like that. Get quiet and then intrusive thoughts get loud.
For many months, I’ve had an early morning practice, on waking, of quoting the Lord’s Prayer and Psalm 23. It’s a habit that kick-starts my day-before grabbing my phone or drinking that cup of coffee. This week, I’ve been going to bed also with Psalm 23 on my heart.
Then one day in the car, I heard singer, songwriter Leanna Crawford‘s version, and it has been on repeat this week. “Still Waters” is such a beautiful anthem to the kindness and gentleness of our Shepherd God.
A noisy old house at night is nothing compared to the noisy, fear-mongering world we find ourselves. Worse is the battle in our over-thinking minds. Psalm 23 is a beautiful reminder of what is true – that God is our Shepherd, and even in “the shadow of death” or “the presence of enemies”, He is with us, arming us with the reality of who we are as HIS.
The bridge of this song captures the essence of His kind presence in whatever situation we find ourselves:
Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe.
Great Aunt Maurine said at a hundred and three Write scripture on your heart for when you need it Cause anxiety hates Psalm 23 So just say it to yourself ’til you believe it And I’m feeling like I’m needing it right now
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe
Lord I believe You can set me at ease Turn this broken piece in me to peace and quiet I know there’s power in Your word So I’ll say it over and over til my soul’s reminded
Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My Father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe
Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe Still waters run through Any valley I could find I’m laying fear down Here at Heaven’s riverside Your word has been true In every season of my life I believe, yes I believe
Oh The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want He leads me by still waters ’til my fears are gone Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death O I know You are with me My Father, my friend Your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days I know by Your still waters I’m safe*
Earlier today a miracle happened. The last Israeli hostages were released from Gaza. Twenty of them. Released! Israel also released almost 2000 Palestinian prisoners. Released! Hopefully the cease-fire on both sides will continue, and the Middle East can settle into a much-needed peace.
The Ten Boom’s were a devoutly Christian family in Holland, and much of the story takes place around the events of World War II. Nazi Germany was making its move to gain power across Europe and was particularly targeting Jews, their own and other nationalities, and Jewish sympathizers. The Ten Boom’s began hiding Jews and developed an effective but dangerous underground to secret them away to safer places. The family’s activities were eventually found out and they were imprisoned. Corrie’s brother Willem and sister Nollie only briefly, but Corrie’s father and sister Betsie were held. Their father would die after a brief time of incarceration. Betsie was Corrie’s older sister. They never married and poured their lives into caring for others.
The notorious German concentration camp, Ravensbrück, would be their “home” for too long. Over 130,000 women would be held there, and over 60,000 died (some in the gas chambers). The conditions were horrific. Corrie and Betsie, by God’s grace, managed to hold onto a Bible during their prison time. When they weren’t laboring long hours, they prayed and encouraged the other women in their barracks. Betsie had enormous faith and a tender heart, even toward their tormentors. She prayed for both prisoners and guards. Corrie struggled more in her faith, angry with their treatment, especially because Betsie was physically weak from a long-term illness. Corrie would learn greater forgiveness and love during their unfathomable time together in the camp.
Finally, Betsie would die in captivity. Corrie would continue on, taking more responsibility in caring for the women around her. Early on in their time at Ravensbrück, Betsie reminded Corrie that God called them to be thankful in all circumstances, not just in lovely ones. Corrie couldn’t thank God for the fleas which infested their quarters. Later, Betsie observed that the guards rarely entered their barracks BECAUSE of the fleas, so they were free to have times of prayer and study. This was not wasted on Corrie as she began to see God at work in all their circumstances…and she gave thanks.
I’m going to leave the rest of the story for you to discover in reading about her life…or watching the movie (movies – others have been made since the first one).
Obviously, Corrie survived her captivity and was released toward the end of 1944 (12 days after Betsie died). Her life continued for almost 40 years, and she was able to see the fruit of Betsie’s visions for the future. It is an incredible story – loss turned to glory.
In rejoicing over the long-awaited release of the Israeli hostages and concurrent release of Palestinian prisoners (also celebrated by their families), we are struck by the enormous experience of being “released”.
For Corrie, and for all of us, the release of bitterness as we forgive and God’s work in our hearts to even love our enemies (Matthew 5:43).
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” – Luke 2:14
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from that time and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts will accomplish this. – Isaiah 9:6-7
Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah. Offer right sacrifices, and put your trust in the Lord. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. – Psalm 4:4-5, 8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, which must be curbed with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! – Psalm 32:8-11
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” – Romans 12:17-19
[From the Archives: One week ago this morning, I woke to the results of the 2024 US presidential election. Before going to bed in the early hours of today, I prayed, wanting to trust the outcome to Him. Wanting to believe Him for whatever direction our country would go. Affirming that the Scripture validates that He is sovereign, and we are in His care.]
October is near, and in our home, it begins the season of Christmas music. So many beautiful anthems to the glory of God – the month of December is not enough to listen, sing, and meditate on the message of these words written by inspired authors and composers.
As this week has unfolded around our nation, social media and news outlets are filled with a range of both shock and jubilation. Of fear and relief. We continue a nation divided…for now. May the church not be a vessel of division…but an instrument of God’s peace.
In December, 1863, American poet and scholar Henry W. Longfellow received his wounded son home from battle. It was Christmas time, and the U.S. Civil War raged on. Having already lost his wife years earlier, Longfellow nursed his son, Charley, back to health. His own thoughts, in turmoil over all that was happening around him, he poured out in the poem “Christmas Bells”.
Longfellow clearly took comfort from God as he wrote, ending the poem with this stanza:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men.”*
I Heard the Bells is a Christmas carol, not a worship anthem. Yet, given the continuing wars of our day, and the politics surrounding them, we must tend the fires of our hope. God is the “lifter of our heads” (Psalm 3:3). He is the One who gives strength to our “weak hands and shaking knees” (Isaiah 35:3). He will do as He’s promised. He is faithful. When you hear the bells ring where you are in the wake of this past week, and as Christmas looms in weeks ahead, take heart in that. We must continue to pray for His peace on earth. We can be vessels of His good-will toward our neighbors, both near and far away.
Leaning into “the right [to] prevail” is where we stand, as Christ-followers. Straight and resolute in our understanding of God’s intentions and His movement in our world. We can resist and refuse to add to the noise of hopelessness and cynicism in this world. We bend our hearts to hear the voice of God speak through the chaos…speaking the peace that only He can bring…through our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. We can speak that peace to our neighbor – the truth wrapped in His love.
I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play And mild and sweet their songs repeat Of peace on earth good will to men
And the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) In my heart I hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
And in despair I bowed my head There is no peace on earth I said For hate is strong and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men
But the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir singing (Peace on Earth) Does anybody hear them? Peace on earth, good will to men
Then rang the bells more loud and deep God is not dead, nor doth He sleep (Peace on Earth, peace on Earth) The wrong shall fail, the right prevail With peace on earth, good will to men
Then ringing singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day A voice, a chime, a chant sublime Of peace on earth, good will to men
And the bells they’re ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) And with our hearts we’ll hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
Do you hear the bells they’re ringing? (Peace on Earth) The life the angels singing (Peace on Earth) Open up your heart and hear them (Peace on Earth) Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, Peace on earth Peace on earth, Good will to men*
Yesterday, I was taking a break and scrolled through Instagram until it stopped me in my tracks on how complaining can have a chronic negative impact on our health, and, in particular, on our brain. That didn’t surprise me, but I wanted to look further to test out what this influencer was reporting. You can look, too. Do an internet search on “complaining, cortisol, and the brain”. It is startling, but, again, not surprising.
Complaining is extraordinarily detrimental to brain health. In a way, it is also like “second-hand smoke” to those with whom you share it. When we complain, our brain responds by releasing cortisol. We need cortisol, the “stress” hormone, to alert us to possible danger and to stimulate an appropriate (hopefully) response to that danger. The problem with complaining is that it puts stress on a loud speaker when there was no need. Similar to how trauma rewires our brain to expect more trauma.
Venting feels good at the moment. It releases the internal pressure that is mentally building up from negative thinking. The dilemma with venting is two-fold – 1) it cements the wiring in the brain in the direction of negative, hopeless thinking, and 2) it activates/re-activates the same process in the caring hearer. Mind you, there is a positive, healthy venting that can take place if it is focused toward hopeful problem-solving and change. This can be life-giving to both persons.
[Side note: We need each other. We were made for community. Talking something out with people who love us is hugely important. There is a difference in lament and grumbling, or complaining and and acknowledging a hard thing, seeking help for forward movement.]
As one who is getting older and feeling the memory not as sharp and the tendency toward that “cup half empty”, curmudgeonly take on things…I wonder: when and how did it start?
When does analytical become contrarian? When does hopeful turn into doubtful? When does grateful turn into grumbly?
Do we just allow ourselves to turn into different people? Or do we take steps to stay (or become) joyful, engaged, unstoppable humans? People who others love to work with, serve with, spend time with.
A little over a year ago I wrote a blog on how complaining rewires our brains. If you know complaining is a struggle, please take the time to read this one piece (linked below). We may try to eat healthy, exercise, and rest aplenty – maybe there is one more thing we should consider:
Bottom line: Practice gratitude. Pause your thought process. Resist the urge to complain, rather reframing the complaint into positive action. Surround yourself with people who don’t complain, and, even make you laugh sometimes.
When you have more time or you want to consider steps toward positive brain health and a kinder, gentler handling of your life and circumstances, I have excerpted these from my other blogs on complaining and negative thinking:
Complaining Exposed – [From the Archives] When it comes to complaining, we all think of someone else who does it…not us. It is an irritating habit, and it only gets worse if unchecked. Poet writer Anne Peterson talks about complaining and how it flows out of 6 heart attitudes. Complaining reveals that:
We feel entitled.
We are impatient.
We hold on to resentment.
We compare ourselves to others.
We don’t think life is fair.
We are conformed to this world/culture.
Read her article for the particulars. Be prepared to rip the Bandaid (excuses) off your complaining.
Entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchukwrites about how his mom and wife seem to be incapable of complaining and it’s one of the things he loves about them: “Complaining has zero value. Looking at the negative, seeing the glass as half empty, and complaining are some of the biggest wastes of time a human being can engage in. Instead, tackle the problem head on. Assess it, see what you can do about it, and then do just that. ‘Woe is me’ is truly one of the biggest things that can stand in the way of success both professionally and personally.”
2. Beyond Grumpiness –[From the Archives] A friend of mine pointed this blog to me today and it bumped its way to the top of my Faves. English professor Alan Jacobs mused about the grumpiness of old people. I don’t know when it happens and why exactly it happens, but it is something that has happened to me of late…and I don’t think I’m old enough yet for it to happen.
Here’s a bit of what Dr. Jacobs says about grumpiness, but you should read his whole piece, especially if you’re finding yourself becoming grumpy (whatever age you are).
“I think the explanation for such widespread grumpiness is fairly simple…It’s not the big foul acts or horribly cruel words that do you in, it’s the slow drip drip drip of little annoyances that become over time a vast sea of frustration. Surely you’ve been there? You become exasperated by someone’s passing comment and when they are genuinely puzzled by your anger over so trivial a matter, you try to explain (apologetically, penitently, I hope) that it wouldn’t be a problem if this thing had happened once but it has happened a thousand times. It’s the repetition that kills you.” [Dr. Jacobs goes on to talk about the divisions on which we’ve taken sides give the sense of being new and revolutionary…and yet they are old divisions revisited.] “You can’t learn from the past if you don’t know what happened in it. So yeah, I’m gradually turning into a grumpy old man. Because nobody learns anything…” [About these things that divide us: We seem to care too much, or too little, or just plain not at all. Dr. Jacobs challenges us that only being truly loving people gives us the right to voice an opinion, and definitely not a shaming one.] “It’s a hard path to walk, this Way of avoiding both indifference and ‘the conscious impotence of rage at human folly.’ But the hard path is the only real Way. (All the others circle back on themselves.) So I try every day to follow it. I don’t think I could manage even that if I did not have an Advocate to accompany me, to encourage me, and to guide me.” – Alan Jacobs, Beyond Grumpiness
3. Without Grumbling – [From the Archives] Which comes first – anger or grumbling? Or is it a more subtle but growing discontent? When does occasional complaining settle into a set habit of grumbling? What does grumbling communicate to our own minds and to others within hearing?
I’ve written plenty on complaining, grumbling, and negative thinking (see links below). It can absolutely change the wiring in our brains. In my younger years, I always looked for the good and the beautiful in a person/situation…and I found it. Now, as an older person, my temptation is more toward darker thinking. This is NOT where I want to stay.
Below is a beautiful bit of writer Trevin Wax‘s post on grumbling and joy (it is geared toward Christians but there is wisdom for all of life here).
“In Philippians 2:6–11, Paul commands the church to adopt the same mind of our risen Lord. And his first command is, “Don’t grumble.”
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” (Philippians 2:14–15)
Why start with grumbling? We might expect an exhortation to spiritual disciplines, or strategies for thriving as pure and faultless people in a sinful world. And yes, Paul does speak about blamelessness and purity and holding firm to the word of life (Philippians 2:16). But this purity in action is somehow connected to the first command to do everything without grumbling. Somehow, grumbling will keep us from faithfulness.
Why start here? Because Paul knows the story of Israel.
Remember the children of Israel? They chose grumbling over gratitude. Grumbling stalled their journey and led to actions that were anything but “blameless and innocent.”
Whether we are given suffering, chains, imprisonment, or worse (Hebrews 11:36–38), or whether we conquer kingdoms, stop the mouths of lions, escape the sword, and put armies to flight (Hebrews 11:33–34), we must know that only joy in and gratitude to Jesus will win the war for our culture…Yes, we may face obstacles, setbacks, and tough days ahead. But in it all, and under it all, we are also joyful. And this cheerful courage comes not from ignoring darkness or looking only for the bright side, but from believing that the Light will overcome the dark.
Do you want to shine like stars? Then do everything without grumbling.” –
4.Breaking Out of Negative Thinking – [From the Archives] I first wrote about negative thinking six years ago (that blog linked below). Since then we have come through COVID 2020, great racial unrest and social upheaval, contentious election cycles, ongoing wars, and a downturn in our economy. Lots to think negatively about with good reason, but if we’re not careful we will begin gearing our thinking in that direction to the detriment of our mental and relational health.
The team at Daily Health Post focused on complaining as a culprit that can actually cause our brains to default to anxiety and depression. From experience, I know this is true.
They prescribe the following to flip the damaging habit of complaining:
“Be grateful: Find something to be grateful for everyday. If you keep a journal, write down 3 things you are grateful for every morning and every night.
If you start to feel anxious or pessimistic, pause a minute and write them down again. If it’s too hard, write down 5 or even 10 new things you’re grateful for. By the end of the exercise, you’ll feel much happier and fulfilled.
Catch yourself: Don’t wait for your friends or family to tell you you’re complaining, pay attention to your thoughts and words.
If you’re complaining, quickly shift your energy to find solutions and lessons to be learned. Afterwards, treat yourself will a nice cup of tea for the effort!
Change your mood: If you feel overwhelmed and negative, remove yourself from whatever you’re doing and shift your state of mind. If you’re home, sit down with your favorite book and cook up a tasty treat. If you’re at work, go to the washroom or break room for a few minutes and listen your favorite song.
Breathe deeply and close your eyes, paying attention to every word. Hold onto that relaxing feeling and carry it with you throughout the day.
Practice wise effort: Wise effort is the practice of letting go of anything that doesn’t serve you. If your worry won’t improve your situation or teach you a lesson, simply let it go and move on.
This is much easier said then done, of course, but if you write it out, ask friends for advice, and take some time to think it through constructively, it really can be done.“
Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives,but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them.As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery.The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger.They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman.Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”– John 8:1-11
Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with [Jesus].And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left.And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
One of the criminals who were hanged railed at him, saying, “Are you not the Christ? Save yourself and us!”But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation?And we indeed justly, for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.”And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.” – Luke 23:32-34, 39-43
The Bible is filled with accounts of people in desperate situations. Too many alone in circumstances they can’t seem to escape. Maybe some of us have known that kind of isolation, self-hatred, hopelessness. Singer, songwriter Matthew West brings these people, these lost and wounded ones, into the light. Into the light of God’s love…and ours, if we don’t turn away. “Mended” is West’s speaking forth the Gospel of Christ over brokenness…as if Jesus is speaking to the wounded one, through the lyrics of the song.
[Chorus] When you see broken beyond repair I see healing beyond belief When you see too far gone I see one step away from home When you see nothing but damaged goods I see something good in the making I’m not finished yet When you see wounded, I see mended
[Verse 1] How many times can one heart break? It was never supposed to be this way Look in the mirror, but you find someone You never thought you’d be Oh, but I can still recognize The one I love in your tear stained eyes I know you might not see him now So lift your eyes to me
[Chorus] When you see broken beyond repair I see healing beyond belief When you see too far gone I see one step away from home When you see nothing but damaged goods I see something good in the making I’m not finished yet When you see wounded, I see mended
[Verse 2] You see your worst mistake But I see the price I paid And there’s nothing you could ever do To lose what grace has won So hold on, it’s not the end No, this is where love’s work begins I’m making all things new And I will make a miracle of you
[Chorus] When you see broken beyond repair I see healing beyond belief When you see too far gone I see one step away from home When you see nothing but damaged goods I see something good in the making I’m not finished yet When you see wounded, I see mended
[Bridge] I see my child, my beloved The new creation you’re becoming You see the scars from when you fell But I see the stories they will tell You see worthless, but I see priceless You see pain, but I see a purpose You see unworthy, undeserving But I see you through eyes of mercy
[Chorus] When you see broken beyond repair I see healing beyond belief You’re not too far gone You’re one step away from home When you see nothing but damaged goods I see something good in the making I’m not finished yet, no When you see wounded, I see mended
[Outro] Oh, I see mended Woah, oh I see mended I’m not finished yet When you see wounded, I see mended*
In closing, I’d like to shine a light on a young Christian man who is shining light on persons broken by addiction in the Kensington area of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Mal Love is a filmmaker and he is capturing stories of these people, on the streets, prisoners of their addictions. He brings a Godly dignity to them and shows genuine care for them. Talking to them, filming their stories, asking what they need and doing what he can to provide (food, beverages, pillows, recovery helps). He has even administered Narcan when encountering someone who’d overdosed. You can see and hear these stories every day as he goes out onto the streets – on Instagram, Facebook, or his YouTube channel. Mal gives us the opportunity to look into faces of people Jesus loves and pray for them. Whew!
I’ve been writing this in my head for over a month. Here goes.
For some time now, I’ve been seeing a cardiologist. Mostly about a couple of heart valves that aren’t functioning as well as they should. Then over the last several months, fatigue has been a strange companion for my usual high-energy self. I am told some of the fatigue relates to medications required for my cardiac situation, but lately a new issue arose that also apparently causes me to be tired. Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). Sorry for all the medical stuff…just trying to give context.
After several other cardiologist visits and recommendations, it was decided a cardiac ablation would be the best course of action. Potentially highly effective with the outcome pushing out into the future my need for a valve replacement (open heart surgery). Highly effective with minimal complications.
The cardiac ablation doesn’t require general anesthesia nor a big incision. Essentially access to the heart is through a catheter threaded to a large vein, and the procedure doesn’t even require an over-night hospital stay usually. Still, in the days before coming in, I finally completed my advance life directive (just in case).
After leaving Dave in the waiting area, I was taken into the prep room and hooked up to monitors. The nurses started an IV and shortly after the sedation. I was surrounded by lovely hospital staff – all was well.
Complications – When I woke in recovery, it didn’t seem so well. Lots of action. Someone was putting lots of pressure where the IV catheter must have been inserted (I had already been sedated for that part). A blood transfusion was being ordered. I wasn’t going home.
The cardiologist who performed the ablation was up-beat as he described what happened. In preparation for the procedure, I was given blood thinners. At some point during the ablation, I had some bleeding (which was one of the listed possible complications). The blood loss was considerable enough to require transfusions. The cardiologist wanted me to be monitored overnight so I was admitted to the cardiac step-down unit.
At some point that evening, I needed to go to the restroom. Dave helped me, walking me from bed to toilet. Unfortunately, it turns out my blood pressure was low enough, because of the blood loss, that I got faint and ended up passing out. Fortunately, Dave broke my fall, and with his and the nurse’s help I got back to the bed without incident.
Why all these details? It has made me think more deeply on the toll of waiting and watching on the person at the bedside. He would tell me later about watching the monitors and seeing my blood pressure and pulse registering lower than seemed safe. Once my pulse got down to 35, he related later.
Still…all was relatively well, thankfully.
The next day, my blood counts hadn’t recovered well enough so more fluids and another transfusion. Otherwise, it was a quiet day. Two of my grandchildren were being baptized in a couple of days, and I was not going to miss that, if at all possible.
Several blood sticks and nursing IV lines along left me with impressive bruises, but by the next morning, they discharged me, with all the precautions and appointments for follow-up. Praise the Lord!
Comfort – It is very difficult, almost impossible, for me to ask for help. Even with the fatigue of the past several months, I just chose to do less rather than to engage helpers. It is a character weakness, I know. Beautiful offers to help abounded, and I was grateful. The offers themselves were a comfort. As were all the prayers, texts, phone calls, visits, notes/cards, flowers, and food. There was also a quietness in my heart that I recognized as the nearness of God Himself to a child not quite herself. Such unexpected and generous comfort… all of it.
Caregivers – Having been a cancer nurse for many years, I can’t say enough about caregivers. Those who put their own lives on hold for the sake of a loved one. Those who care professionally even for strangers. Hats off! Giving care is reflective of a loving God. It is part of who we are bearing His image.
In this season of heart issues, I have had much comfort and much care. It is a season I want to remember (thus this writing about it), especially as my strength is coming back and the fatigue is less (thanks to the ablation). My unseen Helper has been God, and the one I can reach out and touch has been Dave. His gentleness and servant heart aren’t a surprise, because he has shown up for many over the years – especially members of his family, those in need in our church community, and folks on his work teams. He is quiet and doesn’t draw attention to himself. For this moment, in the aftermath of this health issue, I just want to say thanks…thanks to all of you who have been such a comfort to me…and to God for bringing me through…and to Dave. Thank you, Sweet Friend and Husband.
P.S. All this heart stuff the last few years has been a struggle for me. It has tempted me to fear. Thanks to the ablation, the other heart surgeries that were in front of me have been pushed down the road. Who knows, I may not ever need them. If they do become inevitable, or some other health (or relational) crisis becomes an issue, I have (what Jackie Hill Perry talks about below) “history with God”. He will get us through whatever comes. Hallelujah!
Following is a brief history of how choosing and exploring a word for the year became a habit for me starting in 2020. If you want, just skip down to the highlighted start of 2025 that takes you to this year.
In 2020 (the year of COVID), I read Debbie Macomber‘s book One Perfect Word. She tells fascinating stories of persons’ choosing a word to guide their year. Finishing her book and praying a bit, the word compassion became my focus. 2021 was a good year for that as we dealt with so many divisions over COVID, race, politics, etc. Compassion for all on both sides of each issue.
At first I wasn’t going to do “a word” for 2022, and then a rapid series of “coincidences” drew me to the word: joy. As that year ended, I had become negative and even a bit cynical. Still having faith in God but not so much in humans, including myself. Even after a year of compassion!!
Then 2023 followed, and I chose the word “wonder”. It was inspired by my study of Dr. Curt Thompson’s books. He encourages a pursuit of mental health and healing including staying “in the path of oncoming beauty”. This focus on wonder – in searching out beauty in the context of community and a loving God – brought me through a year tougher than I imagined it would be.
Then at the end of 2023, I’d been lamenting being older (i.e. weaker, more frail). Having lost 2 inches in stature (just in the years of pounding on my vertebra) also made me feel small. I’ve decided to push back against the weakness and seemingly diminished nature of getting older. After all, what does that even mean?! I’m not that old. Right?
In Joshua 14, Caleb was 85 years old. He gives a beautiful and faith-filled declaration: “I am still as strong today as I was on the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in. Now then, give me this hill country about which the Lord spoke on that day, for you heard on that day that Anakim (giants) were there, with great fortified cities; perhaps the Lord will be with me, and I will drive them out just as the Lord has spoken.” [Joshua 14:11-12.]
Talking to Dave (that husband of mine), he commented that Caleb had that strength for which I was longing because he had “a different spirit in him” (Numbers 14:24). Whereas the 10 spies and the Israelites influenced by them were driven by a spirit of fear, Caleb was filled by the Spirit of God. In his determination to obey and follow wholeheartedly, his faith emboldened him. He demonstrated strength physically, mentally, and spiritually.
He would not be defined by age, aptitude, or ability…but by the great and gracious God he sought to serve. That’s what I have longed for in this year soon to be ending. To be strong. In all ways possible. Including strong in my love for God and others. This can only be mine if nested in being filled with the very Spirit of God.
Ironically, or not so much with the Lord, I have struggled with even more physical weakness (a painful and limiting hip pain) but not without working toward being strong again. Months ago, in choosing “strong” as the word for this year, God knew. In this season still, I am reminded of His goodness. “For when I am weak (and it will happen), then His strength is manifested perfectly and completely!” (2 Corinthians 12:10)
These last days of December 2024, I have pondered what word would be a fixed point for this coming year. New Year’s resolutions and habit formation are both great helps for my slightly scattered brain. This Word of the Year exercise (which will span the next year) has also been a tremendous help.
The word “trust” has come to mind, in my times in the Word, in recent conversations, and in circumstances beyond my control. “Trust” – whew! That word has always been troubling for me. I think we put too much importance on trusting people – we will all disappoint and fail each other. It happens. Will I put that same bias on God, or can I treat Him as He is and as the Trustworthy One He reveals Himself to be?
Trust – Why Trust matters – Psychology Today – Trusting others and being trustworthy matter, but human trust is flawed and has to be handled with some measure of understanding and grace.
The object of our trust can’t be on people but on God. He alone will not disappoint. He alone will always keep His promises.
Praying to trust God more seems to carry the same human-borne threat of praying for patience. Yikes! We want more patience but not the sorts of experiences that will bring it. Is God drawing me to focus on trust in 2025 because I’m going to need it more? No…refusing to think there would be any negative outcome with trusting God more. It is a beautiful thing and He is worthy.
Just yesterday Dave and I talked about trust and what it means. He defined it as having confidence that someone (including God, of course) will be who he/she says they are and will do what they say they will do. Again, as humans, we don’t always prove to be trust-worthy…and we apply grace, not unforgiveness. But God!!! We can have complete confidence in Him. Complete trust.
“The biblical definition of trust goes beyond mere belief or reliance. It involves a complete surrender and reliance on God, knowing that He is faithful and will fulfill His promises. Trust, according to biblical definition, is the means of putting aside our own understanding and leaning on God’s wisdom and guidance. It means acknowledging that God’s ways are higher than our ways and trusting that He is in control of all things. Trust requires us to have faith, to believe in the unseen and to confidently depend on God’s faithfulness. It is an unwavering assurance that God is trustworthy and will never fail us. This biblical concept of trust is not just a casual belief, but an active and intentional decision to place our confidence in God alone.” – Daniel, Prayer Warrior – Bible Definition Of Trust (How The Lord Defines Trusting Him)– Read the whole article!
I am going to turn my heart toward trusting God in 2025 for small and big things – for situations only He can move toward healing and wholeness. For the prodigals in my life. For a family rift that continues unchanged since 2020. For salvation for some dear friends (and family) I love deeply (and God loves more). For direction in moment-by-moment turns in life (eyes on Him instead of my own faulty decision-making). For grace to trust He is creating beauty even in and through me. Finally, trusting God for all those previous word lessons He has begun in my life to continue to grow into maturity – compassion, joy, wonder, and strength.
Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord…And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, goodwill toward men!” – Luke 2:10-11, 13-14
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from that time and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts will accomplish this. – Isaiah 9:6-7
One week ago this morning, I woke to the results of the 2024 US presidential election. Before going to bed in the early hours of today, I prayed, wanting to trust the outcome to Him. Wanting to believe Him for whatever direction our country would go. Affirming that the Scripture validates that He is sovereign, and we are in His care.
As the week has unfolded around our nation, social media and news outlets are filled with a range of both shock and jubilation. Of fear and relief. We continue a nation divided…for now. May the church not be a vessel of division…but an instrument of God’s peace.
In December, 1863, American poet and scholar Henry W. Longfellow received his wounded son home from battle. It was Christmas time, and the U.S. Civil War raged on. Having already lost his wife years earlier, Longfellow nursed his son, Charley, back to health. His own thoughts, in turmoil over all that was happening around him, he poured out in the poem “Christmas Bells”.
Longfellow clearly took comfort from God as he wrote, ending the poem with this stanza:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep; The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men.”*
I Heard the Bells is a Christmas carol, not a worship anthem. Yet, given the continuing wars of our day, and the politics surrounding them, we must tend the fires of our hope. God is the “lifter of our heads” (Psalm 3:3). He is the One who gives strength to our “weak hands and shaking knees” (Isaiah 35:3). He will do as He’s promised. He is faithful. When you hear the bells ring where you are in the wake of this election and as the Christmas season dawns, take heart in that. We must continue to pray for His peace on earth. We can be vessels of His good-will toward our neighbors, both near and far away.
Listening for “the right [to] prevail” is where we stand, as Christ-followers. Straight and resolute in our understanding of God’s intentions and His movement in our world. We can resist and refuse to add to the noise of hopelessness and cynicism in this world. We bend our hearts to hear the voice of God speak through the chaos…speaking the peace that only He can bring…through our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.
I heard the bells on Christmas day Their old familiar carols play And mild and sweet their songs repeat Of peace on earth good will to men
And the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) In my heart I hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
And in despair I bowed my head There is no peace on earth I said For hate is strong and mocks the song Of peace on earth, good will to men
But the bells are ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir singing (Peace on Earth) Does anybody hear them? Peace on earth, good will to men
Then rang the bells more loud and deep God is not dead, nor doth He sleep (Peace on Earth, peace on Earth) The wrong shall fail, the right prevail With peace on earth, good will to men
Then ringing singing on its way
The world revolved from night to day A voice, a chime, a chant sublime Of peace on earth, good will to men
And the bells they’re ringing (Peace on Earth) Like a choir they’re singing (Peace on Earth) And with our hearts we’ll hear them Peace on earth, good will to men
Do you hear the bells they’re ringing? (Peace on Earth) The life the angels singing (Peace on Earth) Open up your heart and hear them (Peace on Earth) Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, Peace on earth Peace on earth, Good will to men*
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.” – Jeremiah 31:3
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us.” – Ephesians 5:1
““You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:6-8
“I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” – Galatians 2:20
Do you have any idea how loved you are?
I’m pretty sure most of us do not. In fact, even those out there still young, successful in their careers, with great looks and all kinds of smarts, and wildly self-confident…even those surely have dark moments of uncertainty.
Just last night, I had one of those hard hits inside my mind that worked its way through my body, leaving me in a pile of emotions. My poor husband. He and God hear those struggles. When a series of events, like a string of falling dominoes, push all the insecurity buttons…and I come of the end of myself. Dr. Curt Thompson and Dan Allender (from last week’s amazing conference) both talked about naming the emotions as part of what heals them…and what brings us back to our senses, so to speak.
In that dark moment last night, I named the terror inside of me: “I can’t seem to do anything well”. There. I probably said it out loud in a more piteous way, but that felt the most real at the moment. In fact, that is part of my salvation testimony – wanting to be good for my sweet mama who had such a weight of responsibility working and raising four kids…and I could never be successful at that “being good”.
Enter a loving Father, a surrendered Savior, and a perfect Comforter.
It doesn’t matter to Him what my performance is nor my appearance while performing. I am loved. Period. Full-stop. He loves me (us) – the undeserved. He is love. He chooses to love – each of us in the holy perfection of divine love. God calls me back to that glorious fact various times through each day.
Last week, at that aforementioned conference, the worship team led us in a song I’d never heard. It was absolutely perfect for that audience and for the theme “Imagination to Incarnation”. The song is “Belovedness” by singer/songwriter Sarah Kroger. It was a worship moment when God wrapped His arms around each of us…as if He was speaking right into our hearts. Have a listen.
No matter the situation, don’t isolate yourself in the darkness. Talk to someone who loves you. Talk to the One who loves you most. Let Him lift the darkness so you can see the truth of His beautiful love for you, Dear One.
Worship with me…and never ever forget how beloved you are. The Lord never does anything half-way.
You’ve owned your fear and all your self-loathing You’ve owned the voices inside of your head You’ve owned the shame and reproach of your failure It’s time to own your belovedness
You’ve owned your past and how it’s defined you You’ve owned everything everybody else says It’s time to hear what your Father has spoken It’s time to own your belovedness
He says you’re Mine, I smiled when I made you I find you beautiful in every way My love for you is fierce and unending I’ll come to find you, whatever it takes My beloved
You’ve owned the mess you see in the mirror You’ve owned the lies that you’re just not enough You’ve been so blinded by all you’re comparing It’s time to own your belovedness
He says you’re Mine, I smiled when I made you I find you beautiful in every way My love for you is fierce and unending I’ll come to find you, whatever it takes My beloved
You are completely loved and fully known Beloved, believe He died to make your heart His home
And He says you’re Mine, I smiled when I made you I find you beautiful in every way My love for you is fierce and unending I’ll come to find you, whatever it takes He says you’re mine, I smiled when I made you I find you beautiful in every way My love for you is fierce and unending I’ll come to find you, whatever it takes My beloved It’s time to own your belovedness*
Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one...praying at all times. – Ephesians 6:11-16, 18
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.” …His truth shall be your shield and buckler…Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you…for He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways. “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.” – Psalm 91:1-2, 4b, 9-11, 14-15
From the Creation story to present day, we are confronted by lies. Through the world’s influence, in our own fallen flesh, and from Satan and his emissaries. Maybe we don’t think much about it, because lies just become part of our worldview if we aren’t on guard. Weighing truth against what seems true or what might be true. Just yesterday, my son told me about his 8 y/o’s troubling thought that he didn’t really love God. What I know of the Holy Spirit, that thought did not come from Him. Satan is the father of lies and the accuser of believers. My son was able to comfort our grandson with the truth, both about God and how this precious child’s thoughts can wrongly condemn him. The talk about our enemy, the Devil, will come later.
Much is written about spiritual warfare, and too often, it is as if it’s us, rather me, against Satan. God is our victor. The battle is truly His, and Satan is no match for the Creator. The Scripture is full of encouragements for us to be strong and courageous, to stand against our enemies, and to trust the Lord. The battle does not depend on our winning, it is God’s to win. However, God calls us to plant our feet on the truth of who He is, who we are, and what He intends for our lives (John Mark Comer, Live No Lies).
In recent days, I’ve been digging into John Mark Comer‘s and Henri Nouwen‘s writings. “Beloved” is a small volume calling us to recognize our identity in Christ and to draw near to Him in prayer, away from what we think is the busyness of a significant life. Comer’s book’s Live No Lies is a substantial and serious read on recognizing and resisting the same temptations Jesus endured in the wilderness, at the beginning of His public ministry. Both authors refer to this experience as common to all of us.
“Jesus had three temptations in the desert [Matthew 4:1-11]: to be relevant – turning stones into bread; to be popular – jumping from the tower and have angels catch Him; to have power to possess all the land. Jesus refused all that because He didn’t have to prove to anybody that He was loveable. He was already the beloved. That’s precisely what the Spirit revealed to Him after He was baptised in the Jordan. The voice came and said, ‘You are My beloved son, on You My favour rests’. That’s who you are; you are the beloved, so you don’t have to be busy proving it. You don’t have to run around. Immediately, that same Spirit who revealed to Him that He was the beloved sent Him into the desert to be tested….Solitude is listening to the voice who calls you the beloved. It is being alone with the One who says, ‘You are My beloved, I want to be with you’...Solitude is the place where we go in order to hear the truth about ourselves. – Henri Nouwen, “Beloved”
“The devil’s goal is to first isolate us, then implant in our minds deceitful ideas that play to our disordered desires, which we feel comfortable with because they are normalized by the status quo of our society. Specifically, he lies about who God is, who we are, and what the good life is, with an aim to undermine our trust in God’s love and wisdom. His intent is to get us to seize autonomy from God and redefine good and evil for ourselves, thereby leading to the ruin of our souls and society.” – John Mark Comer, Live No Lies: Recognize and Resist the Three Enemies That Sabotage Your Peace
We are probably all familiar with Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness and Satan’s tempting Him. The Evil One has not changed his ways of beguiling since the beginning, when he similarly tempted Eve to distrust God. Ours is to follow and practice the way Jesus dealt with lies and with the accuser. With quiet prayer (in solitude), with seeking the truth (Scripture), with fasting. And in community. Satan attacks most when we are isolated from God and one another.
With the Spirit of God ruling in our hearts and lives, we need never fear. The battle is real, but God is present with us. We stand in His strength. Although our enemies are real and the world seems hostile to us, we have a greater Overcomer.
Singer/songwriter David Crowder tells this story in his rocking anthem Unstoppable. It puts in perspective that our God is invincible, and because we are in Him, we have the confidence and privilege of tasting His victory. Hallelujah!
Devil’s playing fiddle Demons coming like a missile To my left, to my right But I ain’t be dancing with ’em I got angels watching over me Fighting all my enemies Wear ’em out, knock ’em down ‘Bout to taste that victory
Hey, hey They can try to slow me Thinking that they own me They be thinking crazy Hey Welcome to the showdown They about to find out
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You, nothing’s impossible No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
See these arrows in my quiver Winner, winner, chicken dinner If I’m bitten by the serpent He’ll be sucking out the venom I got someone watching over me Fighting all my enemies See that smile on my face ‘Bout to taste that victory
Hey, hey They can try to slow me Thinking that they own me They be thinking crazy Hey Welcome to the showdown They about to find out A-a-amen
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You, nothing’s impossible No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
When I got You When I got You
That’s my dad, I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad That’s my dad, I’m His son Watch him make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad
That’s my dad, and I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, that’s my dad That’s my dad, I’m His son He’s gonna make that Devil run That’s my dad, yeah, that’s my dad
When I got You, I am unstoppable When I got You When I got You, nothing’s impossible When I got You No way I lose, I am unbeatable, powerful No way I lose Stronger than invincible I feel bulletproof when I got You When I got You
