God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth! – Psalm 46:1, 10
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;
For the Lord upholds him with His hand. I have been young, and now am old; yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken…He is ever merciful… – Psalm 37:24-25a, 26a
I love the ebb and flow of the work week. There is a rhythm in routine that soothes my heart. The weekends are another thing. Don’t get me wrong: I love the weekend. However, if I wrestle with depression, (and I do), it will be the most trying on Friday night, through the day Saturday, and then Sunday night. Sunday, during the day, there is a reprieve with church and people and the routine of afternoon nap mixed with whatever sporting event is televised.
This was a too quiet Saturday…or so my self-serving little heart was telling me. I WANT PEOPLE…people who I can feed and hear their stories and maybe make laugh… People I can serve somehow. In that, a Saturday is redeemed for me.
Sometimes we are insatiable…we can be busy, busy, busy (if that’s our drug, our path to some sort of significance)…and still our hearts betray our hunger…our hunger for what really satisfies.
Some Saturdays are all loveliness…this one was a struggle. Even with a birthday phone call from an old friend, and opportunities to help my daughter, take food to a new mom, and be a second set of eyes for my husband in the throes of a difficult project. It wasn’t enough. I was restless…for something…
After dropping off food to that new mom and her family, and holding the wee one for a moment, I pulled my car out into the sunset. It’s pictured above (captured poorly from my phone). Oddly, an old hymn I hadn’t heard in years popped into my head. It was “Be Still My Soul”.
As I half-hummed, half-sang the words I remembered, the glory of God filled my heart. His beauty captivated me – in that sunset, and in the newborn baby, and in the life we take so for granted. Stopping on the side of the road, I let the world stand still for a bit…until the sun burned out into evening.
Thank You, God, that You brought clarity to a busy mind and a longing heart on this too quiet Saturday. Too quiet for me…but only until You stop the ache and bring me back to Yourself. May I have the sense to be still, and know…You. It is enough. You are enough.
Be Still My Soul (traditional & contemporary versions – YouTube links below)
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.
Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well-pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.