Category Archives: fresh start

Worship Wednesday – Oh, But God – Davy Flowers

Photo Credit: YouTube, Davy Flowers

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.Genesis 50:20

When they had carried out all that was written about Him, they took Him down from the tree and laid Him in a tomb. But God raised Him from the dead.Acts 13:29-30

But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.Romans 5:8

“All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)”Ephesians 2:3-5

Life has a certain un-doing about it that we run up against if we’re not vigilant. A move to seek the approval of others. A falling into the sin of satisfying self – whatever form that takes. A selfish ambition. A hidden sin or invisible shame that draws us away from community. A vengeance on someone we think we deserve. A violence enacted against ourselves or another. An appearance of Godliness we come to think is enough and believable. A grace withheld. A professed forgiveness but without fruit.

But God! These are not nothing to Him, but God is all-powerful in confronting them. Our sin does not surprise Him, nor are His purposes thwarted by them. He continues to draw us back to Himself. His Spirit guides us to live in the light and exposes the sins and deceit that come between us and the Lord.

We may wonder at how victory is possible in light of our past (or present even). Yet, it is better to reckon with how sin has shaped us than to deny its power. When we deny the scope of our sin, then we downplay God’s holiness and sacrifice to forgive us our sin. Also, when we live in shame over our past, we do the same. We live in functional disbelief that God is able to wholly forgive us and even bring good and glory out of our past (Romans 8:28).

Jesus looked straight at them and said, “There are some things people cannot do, but God can do anything.”Matthew 19:26

Recently, we sang a new song in worship at Movement Church. It was “Oh But God” by singer, songwriter Davy Flowers. It pierced my heart with joy to be reminded of how far God was willing to come to save me. Even knowing me and what sin I was capable of, He loved me still. He knew what HE was capable of in transforming me into the image of Jesus. Glory! Glory to His name!

Worship with me.

I was buried beneath my rebellion
Lost without hope of redemption
Blind to my need for a Savior
Oh but God

Crushed by the weight of my failure
Living the lie I created
Digging my grave without knowing
Oh but God, oh but God

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God

You gave me a truth worth believing
And I traded my chains for Your freedom
‘Cause You were the One that I needed
Oh but God

Resurrected my heart from the ruins
And my rеscue came through like thе morning
And now this is my sure testimony
Oh but God, oh but God

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God

[Bridge]
All the wreckage of my choices
You have turned to life from ashes
Lifted from death, risen with Him
Now I stand in confidence
And I know that all the wreckage of my choices
You have turned to life from ashes
Lifted from death and risen with Him
Now I stand in confidence, oh

[Chorus]
Rich in mercy, how He loves me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross, oh, You are
Rich in mercy, how You love me
Too much to let me stay lost
My salvation sent from Heaven
Nailing my sin to a cross
Oh but God, oh but God

[Outro]
Oh but God, oh but God*

*Lyrics to “Oh But God” – Songwriters: Davy Flowers, Bryan Fowler, & Matt Armstrong

Faith Behind the Song: “Oh But God” Davy Flowers – Scott Savage

Worship Wednesday – “But God” – How Beautiful – Twila Paris – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Take Courage – Kristene DiMarco – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the New Year – Trust – the Object of Our Trust Matters

Photo Credit: Heartlight, Verse of the Day

[Adapted from the Archives]

Following is a brief history of how choosing and exploring a word for the year became a habit for me starting in 2020. If you want, just skip down to the highlighted start of 2025 that takes you to this year.

In 2020 (the year of COVID), I read Debbie Macomber‘s book One Perfect Word. She tells fascinating stories of persons’ choosing a word to guide their year. Finishing her book and praying a bit, the word compassion became my focus. 2021 was a good year for that as we dealt with so many divisions over COVID, race, politics, etc. Compassion for all on both sides of each issue.

At first I wasn’t going to do “a word” for 2022, and then a rapid series of “coincidences” drew me to the word: joy. As that year ended, I had become negative and even a bit cynical. Still having faith in God but not so much in humans, including myself. Even after a year of compassion!!

5 Friday Faves – New Year’s Resolutions, Habit Planner, Year-End Review, Joy – the Word for the Year, and the Last Days of 2021 – Deb Mills

Then 2023 followed, and I chose the word “wonder”. It was inspired by my study of Dr. Curt Thompson’s books. He encourages a pursuit of mental health and healing including staying “in the path of oncoming beauty”. This focus on wonder – in searching out beauty in the context of community and a loving God – brought me through a year tougher than I imagined it would be.

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the Year 2023 – Wonder – Deb Mills

Then at the end of 2023, I’d been lamenting being older (i.e. weaker, more frail). Having lost 2 inches in stature (just in the years of pounding on my vertebra) also made me feel small. I’ve decided to push back against the weakness and seemingly diminished nature of getting older. After all, what does that even mean?! I’m not that old. Right?

In Joshua 14, Caleb was 85 years old. He gives a beautiful and faith-filled declaration: “I am still as strong today as I was on the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so my strength is now, for war and for going out and coming in. Now then, give me this hill country about which the Lord spoke on that day, for you heard on that day that Anakim (giants) were there, with great fortified cities; perhaps the Lord will be with me, and I will drive them out just as the Lord has spoken.” [Joshua 14:11-12.]

Talking to Dave (that husband of mine), he commented that Caleb had that strength for which I was longing because he had “a different spirit in him” (Numbers 14:24). Whereas the 10 spies and the Israelites influenced by them were driven by a spirit of fear, Caleb was filled by the Spirit of God. In his determination to obey and follow wholeheartedly, his faith emboldened him. He demonstrated strength physically, mentally, and spiritually.

He would not be defined by age, aptitude, or ability…but by the great and gracious God he sought to serve. That’s what I have longed for in this year soon to be ending. To be strong. In all ways possible. Including strong in my love for God and others. This can only be mine if nested in being filled with the very Spirit of God.

Ironically, or not so much with the Lord, I have struggled with even more physical weakness (a painful and limiting hip pain) but not without working toward being strong again. Months ago, in choosing “strong” as the word for this year, God knew. In this season still, I am reminded of His goodness. “For when I am weak (and it will happen), then His strength is manifested perfectly and completely!” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

He keeps His promises.

Monday Morning Moment – Word for the New Year – Strong (Nested in “Filled” – There’s a Story) – Deb Mills

Now we stand at the start of 2025.

These last days of December 2024, I have pondered what word would be a fixed point for this coming year. New Year’s resolutions and habit formation are both great helps for my slightly scattered brain. This Word of the Year exercise (which will span the next year) has also been a tremendous help.

The word “trust” has come to mind, in my times in the Word, in recent conversations, and in circumstances beyond my control. “Trust” – whew! That word has always been troubling for me. I think we put too much importance on trusting people – we will all disappoint and fail each other. It happens. Will I put that same bias on God, or can I treat Him as He is and as the Trustworthy One He reveals Himself to be?

Trust – Why Trust matters – Psychology Today – Trusting others and being trustworthy matter, but human trust is flawed and has to be handled with some measure of understanding and grace.

The object of our trust can’t be on people but on God. He alone will not disappoint. He alone will always keep His promises.

Praying to trust God more seems to carry the same human-borne threat of praying for patience. Yikes! We want more patience but not the sorts of experiences that will bring it. Is God drawing me to focus on trust in 2025 because I’m going to need it more? No…refusing to think there would be any negative outcome with trusting God more. It is a beautiful thing and He is worthy.

Just yesterday Dave and I talked about trust and what it means. He defined it as having confidence that someone (including God, of course) will be who he/she says they are and will do what they say they will do. Again, as humans, we don’t always prove to be trust-worthy…and we apply grace, not unforgiveness. But God!!! We can have complete confidence in Him. Complete trust.

“The biblical definition of trust goes beyond mere belief or reliance. It involves a complete surrender and reliance on God, knowing that He is faithful and will fulfill His promises. Trust, according to biblical definition, is the means of putting aside our own understanding and leaning on God’s wisdom and guidance. It means acknowledging that God’s ways are higher than our ways and trusting that He is in control of all things. Trust requires us to have faith, to believe in the unseen and to confidently depend on God’s faithfulness. It is an unwavering assurance that God is trustworthy and will never fail us. This biblical concept of trust is not just a casual belief, but an active and intentional decision to place our confidence in God alone.”Daniel, Prayer Warrior – Bible Definition Of Trust (How The Lord Defines Trusting Him) – Read the whole article!

God Is a Way-maker – How to Trust God with the Impossible – Daniel – Prayer Warrior – DailyEffectivePrayer.org

Photo Credit: Heartlight

I am going to turn my heart toward trusting God in 2025 for small and big things – for situations only He can move toward healing and wholeness. For the prodigals in my life. For a family rift that continues unchanged since 2020. For salvation for some dear friends (and family) I love deeply (and God loves more). For direction in moment-by-moment turns in life (eyes on Him instead of my own faulty decision-making). For grace to trust He is creating beauty even in and through me. Finally, trusting God for all those previous word lessons He has begun in my life to continue to grow into maturity – compassion, joy, wonder, and strength.

Photo Credit: Oswald Chambers, image source unknown

Worship Wednesday – No Matter What I Will Trust in You – Lauren Daigle – Deb Mills

YouTube Video – Do I Trust You? – Twila Paris – my absolute favorite song on trust

Top 25 Oswald Chambers Quotes – AZ Quotes

Photo Credit: X, David J. Harris, Jr.

Monday Morning Moment – Lessons Not Regrets

Photo Credit: Debbie Hampton

Have you made any errors in judgment lately? Did your judgment lead you to attitudes or actions that you would later regret? I have, maybe not as of yet this morning, but definitely yesterday. Some folks are more accomplished at shrugging them off and moving on. I over-think them, and sometimes beat myself up for them. Not always correcting course, as in taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends.

Ugh!

Fortunately, I have folks in my life who allow me to process these mistakes and determine the best way forward. Both inside my own head and in relationship with others. Community (i.e. caring accountability) is a wonderful thing.

The graphic above is taken from an article written by Debbie Hampton, this brilliant woman who is also a suicide survivor – talk about a person who took a dark turn in her decision-making and managed to come out the other side in a much better place.

She talks about taking the mistakes we make and dealing with them with forgiveness, kindness, and compassion. We don’t have to be bound by our regret of decisions made. We can reframe our memories and can hopefully extend grace, both to ourselves and others. As we shake off the negative and explore what we can learn, a mental shift and positive action plan are possible. Turning our regrets into lessons.

Have Lessons Not Regrets – Debbie Hampton

One discipline in decision-making is to assess how it is we are prone to find ourselves, again and again, in situations that cause hurt to ourselves and others.

Psychologist Carrie Steckl writes about three errors that can affect our decision-making:

  • Representativeness bias – our tendency to judge a situation based on our predominate experiences and beliefs about the situation.
  • Availability bias – our tendency to make decisions based on what is most familiar to us, whether it is the best choice for us or not.
  • Confirmatory bias – our tendency to make an early judgment and listen only to information that validates that judgment.

Three Errors In Judgment We Are All Too Inclined To Make – Carrie Steckl

This was really helpful for me, because I can default to negative thinking, rather than taking charge and turning a situation around. This comes out of habit, and I want to change that habit.

The Trilogy of Errors: Hidden Influences on Your Decisions: How Psychologically Blind, Deaf, and Dumb Spots Can Unexpectedly Derail Judgment – Nuala Walsh – another great read on how our decisions are affected

For the moment, still reeling from how my afternoon was derailed yesterday with mistaken decision-making, I want to focus on the importance of moving regrets into life lessons. Habit formation is key, undergirded by three elements: consistency, intensity, and community. Entrepreneur and motivational speaker Sahil Bloom gives a simple yet profound way to approach habit formation:

Photo Credit: Sahil Bloom, Twitter

This is where I am today. How about you? Any regrets? Let’s determine to turn the corner on these by making some simple, thoughtful changes in our mental maps and resultant actions.

Worship Wednesday – If It Wasn’t For Jesus – Benjamin William Hastings

[A self-portrait for a photography class. In my 20s. Conflicted. Alone. Yet…not forgotten by God. Whew.]

From that time on many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus asked the Twelve, “Do you want to leave too?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God.”John 6:66-69

Last year I heard Benjamin William Hastings in concert for the very first time. He doesn’t just sing; he worships. In a large concert space, packed with people, he seemed so small on the stage (and I was seated close-up). Partly because of the humility in his posture and countenance, and mostly because he pointed us, through his lyrics and singing, to the larger presence in the room. Jesus.

[I’ve written about several of his songs already in this blog. Find them here.]

Hastings’ newest single is “If It Wasn’t for Jesus”. It took me back to my disordered youth and it also resonates with me today in this disordered world of ours.

Somewhere around the age of 6, my family started going to church. I had solid teaching there for sure. Still the world presses in, and between that and my own fleshly desires for the approval of others, I faltered in my faith. During college especially and then in my 20s working in a high-pressure secular environment. It didn’t seem like I could follow Jesus and also be considered winsome in the world’s eyes. I was so deceived back then. Still “attending” church every week, even in the role of leading youth, and yet double-minded. Wanting to have the favor of those in my workspace, and pleasing those in my social circle, while also enjoying the honor of my position in church. Looking back, I still shudder at the deceit that bound me up in those days.

God did not forget me in those days. He drew me back to Himself. Thankful for Godly friends and mentors who pointed me to Him, spoke truth to me in love, and held me close until I came to my senses.

I don’t know much of Benjamin William Hastings’ story, but his music gives the message that God is so much bigger than our failures. His love is perfect, and in our weakness, He faithfully demonstrates His strength. I didn’t take sin seriously in those days, but, praise God, He did not let me slip too far from Him.

Photo Credit: Benjamin William Hastings

“My new single ‘If it wasn’t for Jesus’ is all about reflecting on where I’d be if it wasn’t for these amazing divine encounters with God, and then arriving at gratitude because of the intervention of God.” – Benjamin William Hastings

Looking at life today, like Hastings, I am constantly grateful. In the midst of the crazy of this world, I know that God is with us and will, as He has promised, work good for His children and glory for His beautiful, righteous triune Self.

Like Hastings sings: Only God knows where I’d be without Him…but I can confirm (based on my past and the weakness of our flesh without Him) it would not be pretty. I don’t have to be plagued with that thought anymore. He did what He had to do to save me and bring me out of death into life, and I will walk with Him, however imperfectly, until the day we meet face to face forever.

What’s your story? Please leave a comment if you want to…

“Your love, Lord, since I found it [Don’t wanna live without it]. Hands high, open-hearted. Where would I be without Your love, Lord!”

Worship with me:

Don’t know how I ever did it
Go a day without You in it
Guess You were and I just missed it
For all the ways that life worked out
When I look back, man there’s no doubt
How lost I’d be right now

If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Thinking I knew ’bout freedom with chains on my feet
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus

Don’t know why You ever did it
Trading places with a cynic
Gave your life while I dismissed it
But in my mess, or in my doubts
You reached through hell, You brought me out
I doubt I’d still be here right now

If it wasn’t for Jesus, God knows where I’d be
Still tryna find healing in all the wrong things
Oh I remember the feeling, without You it’s bleak
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for

Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be

If it wasn’t for Jesus
If it wasn’t for Jesus
I’d still be falling to pieces, but missing a piece
All rhyme and no reason
All me and no meaning
If it wasn’t for

Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted
Where would I be without
Your love Lord
Since I found it
Don’t wanna live without it
Hands high
Open hearted

Where would I be without it*

Benjamin William Hastings

*Lyrics to “If It Wasn’t For Jesus” – Songwriter: Benjamin William Hastings

Monday Morning Moment – Whenever Possible, Affirmation and Encouragement Over Criticism

Photo Credit: Strategy-Business

Let’s say you need to have a difficult conversation with someone…a crucial conversation. How do we make it happen and still preserve the relationship, the trust between us? We’ve all heard of (and probably experienced the “feedback sandwich” – start with the positive, then interject the negative, and finish off with a last positive (see here for the many takes on this approach). This approach doesn’t wash anymore, right? It’s just not honest.

I’d like to point to a great piece written by a pastor. Well, he was a pastor until last Fall when he resigned from his position because of what was labeled as “harsh leadership”. Scott Sauls, this pastor, until last year, was a gifted Bible teacher and celebrated author (I’ve read many of his books). He was mentored for years by the late Timothy Keller who was himself a man of great integrity. Keller walked the talk…always.

Scott Sauls was this sort of man also…and in the months after he resigned from the pastorate, he has done the work of restoration…reconciling with those he led (not always well) and returning to a work where he is using what he’s learned to help others not make his same mistakes.

His blog “Speaking Words that Make Souls Stronger” has the clarity of one who hasn’t always spoken the truth in love and yet understands the cost of ill-spoken words. He has corrected course. His counsel is weighty and life-giving:

“In a sincere effort to “speak the truth,” we can lose our way and miss the fact that truth — in order to be true in the truest sense — must be packaged in a love that is patient, kind, does not envy or boast, is not proud or dishonoring, is not self-seeking or easily angered, that keeps no record of wrongs, that does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth, that always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, and that never fails (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

“Rather than rushing to find fault, we have every reason proactively seek opportunities to, as Tim Keller called it, ‘catch others doing good’ and to encourage (put courage into) others.”

“Does that mean we just “live and let live” when we see friends and family exhibiting destructive behaviors? Of course not. When someone in our lives is caught in addiction or destructive behavior, the loving thing to do is to help them out of it through intervention.

But intervention is not damning criticism; it’s redemptive critique that is motivated by restoring and building up. Criticism aims to harm and shame. Critique, on the other hand, seeks to leave a person feeling cared for and called to become a better version of themselves. Criticism will leave a person feeling belittled and beaten down. Paul says, ‘If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness‘ (Galatians 6:1-2).”

“Sometimes love calls us to be courageous because it takes courage to offer the gift of redemptive critique. It also takes courage to receive the same…So, critique redemptively when you must. And at all times, for God’s sake, affirm and encourage. Put courage into a soul — wherever and whenever you can.”

I appreciate Scott Sauls. He may still have days when he is tempted to be critical of others…probably does have those days. Yet, it sounds like he has gained wisdom from those days. And we all benefit from it.

Photo Credit: Martin Luther King Jr., Heartlight
Photo Credit: Crucial Conversations, Reading Graphics

We all have situations that require hard conversations. They can be less hard as we incorporate a gentler, but no less honest approach. “Speaking the truth in love”. Not backing away from conflict, but “using our words” to affirm and encourage when possible. Then when necessary, practicing a redemptive critique rather than a harsh criticism. Genuinely caring for the welfare of the other person communicates more than we may think. The conversation still happens (don’t shy away from it), but it can be restorative.

Bottom line: To have an effective, impactful hard conversation, you have to love the person in front of you. If your care only extends to the mission of your organization, the health of your family, or your own personal interests/concerns, the outcome you want will evade you. You can care about those things, of course. You probably wouldn’t push to have the conversation if you didn’t. The first step to that conversation has to be a heart check on yourself. The key motivation has to be that you genuinely care about the person in front of you. That changes everything, including the tone of your words and your approach. If you love someone, you communicate it (in the workplace, organization, family, friendship). If you don’t love that person, the conversation won’t turn out redemptively for you, the other person, or the situation. Loving that person matters.

Photo Credit: Crucial Conversations, Reading Graphics

Monday Morning Moment – Use Your Words – Deb Mills

5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar’s “Spirit”, Reducing Brain Fog, Crucial Conversations, the Precious Nature of Life, and What We Have in Common – Deb Mills (esp. the Faves of “Crucial Conversations” and also “What We Have in Common”

Monday Morning Moment – Strengthening Decision-making with Collaborative Conversations – Deb Mills

Two of Scott Sauls’ blogs below – wisdom

Weeping in Nashville – Where Is God When Unspeakable Acts Beget Unspeakable Sorrow? – Scott Sauls

Once Upon a Time, Tolkien Felt Like a Failure – Give Your Failure Some Time, and It May Become Your Truest Success – Scott Sauls

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Monday Morning Moment – Fathering – More Love than Discipline

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Yesterday, a young woman very dear to me gave a tribute to her grandfather at his memorial service. What she said was beautiful and honoring as she said goodbye (for now) to a man who loved her deeply, as she also loved him. She shared her short talk with me, and it reminded me of the precious gift of good fathering. [I’ve written several times on fathering. It’s a hard job, maybe even harder than mothering.]

Reading her talk, she spoke of a grandfather who treasured her. As a grandparent, I understand how easy it is to just love our grandchildren. The raising, training up, civilizing of children is long and arduous, but the joy of grandchildren, both little and grown, usually requires little from us. Still to have a good father as a grandparent is a great blessing. I know this young one will miss him terribly.

Being a good father is a daunting task, especially for men whose own fathers were absent or punishing (maybe from their own sense of inadequacy or pain). As women, we are allowed to cry and vent our struggles to other women. With men, the message is too often to ignore the emotions that are hard to control or to strike out in anguish when facing disappointment or failure. I can’t imagine really.

Today, I heard of Jason O. Wilson for the first time. He is a martial arts instructor but much more. For decades, he has mentored young boys (and their fathers). Scrolling through X (formerly Twitter), I came across this quote on some of his teaching:

It’s impossible to overstate how important it is for a child to hear these words from their dad:

I’m here for you.

I love you.

I’m proud of you.

Speak them as often as you can. [v/c to the incredible @mrjasonowilson. I dare you watch his videos without tearing up.]

Photo Credit: Jason O. Wilson, The Root

Having grown up himself with no father in the home, he founded Cave of Adullam. That’s the name of Jason Wilson’s transformational training academy.

Cave of Adullam is identified in the Bible as a place of refuge for David. In that period of Israel’s history, King Saul was trying to kill David, but David refused to kill the King even when he had several opportunities.

Wilson’s teaching and mentoring is like nothing I’ve seen before. He teaches discipline, but his main focus is for the boys to know they are loved. Their fathers are as much a part of their training as they are.

YouTube Video: Breaking Through Emotional Barriers, The Cave of Adullam (CATTA)

If you’re a dad or grandfather and you’re reading this, you obviously are invested in fathering. It is never too late to connect with your children and grandchildren. It may be uncomfortable and even unwelcome. We live in an era of family estrangement. However, you will never regret trying or starting over, if given the opportunity. As we reach out to our children, sometimes we find our own healing in the process.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Dig into Jason Wilson’s practices. His website, books, X tweets, YouTube videos, and guest spots on podcasts are extremely helpful. He’s even been a guest on the Joe Rogan Experience where they talk together for 2 hours! Wilson’s own lack of good fathering has not stopped him from fathering and mentoring well. In fact, he was propelled into that better life because of his loss. He was not defeated by the lack of a good father. His faith in a good Heavenly Father has set a solid foundation for him, and now he comforts and empowers others.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Coming back around to the impetus for this post – the grieving granddaughter of a good grandfather – she will be comforted by the love she knew in their relationship. Her children will benefit from that as well. We take note of good fathers and have hope for ourselves to be that kind of parent.

Photo Credit: Charles Kettering, Success

Goodreads Quotes from Jason O. Wilson’s Battle Cry

Goodreads Quotes from Jason O. Wilson’s Cry Like a Man

Monday Morning Moment – Contempt – the Cold Killer of Hearts and Humanity

Photo Credit: Armstrong Economics

Ah…contempt. It is defined as a strong negative emotion that joins disgust and disrespect. We have all experienced contempt, either for someone else, or a group of someones…or the contempt of another towards us.

Contempt is a harsh response…a cold killer of hearts and relationships.

It became more real than ever when I experienced it myself recently. Not toward me personally maybe but because of an association/affiliation I have that is viewed by some as contemptible. When we express contempt, it is usually in conversation with those who agree with us. Rarely do we have the person(s) toward which we feel contempt in front of us. We don’t engage them as much as we complain about them. We hold some in contempt because of their beliefs or actions, and our temptation is to have nothing to do with them. We may view this as a strength, but (as I’ve heard said), “an unguarded strength is a double weakness.”

“Knowing our weakness, dividing leaders on both the left and right seek power and fame by setting American against American, brother against brother, compatriot against compatriot. These leaders assert that we must choose sides, then argue that the other side is wicked—not worthy of any consideration—rather than challenging them to listen to others with kindness and respect. They foster a culture of contempt.” Arthur C. Brooks, Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save Our Country From the Culture of Contempt

Contempt is something I’d like to annihilate in my own thinking, and thankfully there are helps. Below you will find two thought leaders who have worked to expose contempt for what it truly is and does to us, and who have given us counsel on how to recognize it and rid ourselves of it. Author and academician Arthur Brooks and clinical psychologist John Gottman.

How do we confront contempt?

Arthur Brooks’ 5 Rules to Counter Contempt

1. Refuse to be used by the powerful.“The accurate image of a powerful manipulator is someone on your side of the debate: a media figure who always affirms your views, a politician who always says what you think, or a professor who never challenges your biases. They declare the other side is terrible, irredeemable, unintelligent or anything else that expresses contempt — and they say you should think these things as well.” Brooks encourages us to tune out that person “on our side” who seeks to manipulate us, whatever the reason. Then (this is the harder part), we are to call out contemptuous behavior among those with whom we agree (our friends and maybe family). Contempt tears us down, and we don’t want that for ourselves or those we love.

2. Escape your bubble.“The culture of contempt is sustained by polarization and separation. It is easy to express contempt for those with whom we disagree when we view them as “them” or never see them at all. Contempt is much harder to express when we see one another as fellow human beings, as “us.”” We do well to make opportunities to share space and conversation with people not like us. Seek to understand and look for ways we are alike.

3. Treat others with love and respect, even when it’s difficult.“Never treat others with contempt, even if you believe they deserve it. First, your contempt makes persuasion impossible, because no one has ever been insulted into agreement. Second, you may be wrong to assume that certain people are beyond reason. There are many examples of people forming unlikely bonds precisely because they didn’t treat each other with contempt.” Sometimes we are the ones toward which contempt is aimed. If we have offended, then we can apologize. Raising an issue higher than the value of the person doesn’t take us anywhere positive.

4. Be part of a healthy competition of ideas.“I believe disagreement is good because competition is good. As in politics and economics, competition — bounded by rule of law and morality — brings excellence. In the world of ideas, competition is called “disagreement.” Disagreement helps us innovate, improve, correct and find the truth. Of course, disagreement — like free markets and free elections — requires proper behavior to function.” The goal is not to disagree less but to disagree better, notes Brooks.

5. Disconnect from unproductive debates.“Get rid of curated social media feeds. Unfollow public figures who foment contempt. Want to get really radical? Stop talking and thinking about politics for a little while. Do a politics cleanse. For two weeks — maybe during your next vacation — resolve not to read, watch or listen to anything about politics. Don’t discuss politics with anyone. This will be hard to do but not impossible.” This exercise will reveal how much of your life and mental energy is wasted, allowing you to refocus on people you truly love and work/play that matter more than those things you probably won’t be able to change. – Arthur Brooks, Sick of the Culture of Contempt? Here are 5 Ways You Can Subvert It

One last quote from Albert Brooks: “We should be careful to note that love and agreement are not the same thing. There are ideas and actions that are worthy of our contempt. But while some ideas and actions are worthy of contempt, we should always remember that no person is.”Defusing a Culture of Contempt: Arthur Brooks on How to ‘Disagree Better’ – Joan Frawley Desmond

Another exceptional thinker and clinician is Dr. John Gottman, psychologist and professor. His focus is primarily on marriages and individual mental health within relationships. The Four Horsemen is a metaphor pointing toward end-times. Dr. Gottman uses the same metaphor in describing four elements of communication, any one of which can predict the demise of a marriage (or any other relationship). These elements are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Each has an antidote.

Photo Credit: John Gottman, Gottman Institute, Instagram

The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling – Ellie Lisitsa

Contempt is much more mean-spirited than criticism. It communicates a measure of cold superiority over the one being criticized. Gottman isn’t talking about a political stand or a point of contention over culture or morality. He is concentrating on the relationship between two people, usually being a married couple.

“Contempt, simply put, says, “I’m better than you. And you are lesser than me.” [It] is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about one’s partner, and it arises in the form of an attack on someone’s sense of self. Inevitably, contempt leads to more conflict—particularly dangerous and destructive forms of conflict—rather than to reconciliation. It’s virtually impossible to resolve a problem when your partner is getting the message that you’re disgusted with them and that you’re condescending and acting as their superior.”

Gottman prescribes two antidotes for contempt in the marriage relationship – one short-term and the other more long-term:

  • First, the person feeling contempt toward the other would do well to name the emotions that rise to the top during a conflict. Express these emotions to your spouse without blaming, and appeal for help with a solution. “I am sad that we don’t have friends over. Could we talk about a way forward on this?” Or “I get worried when the bills pile up. Can we talk about what we can do to stay within budget?”
  • Second, Gottman suggests establishing (or re-building) a home culture of fondness and admiration for each other. This is a discipline that may take some strong determination, but it is doable. In fact, I have go-to Bible verses (Revelation 2:4-5) that help me immensely during those dry times in my own marriage. It speaks about what to do when we have lost our first love (for God and each other). Essentially, the instruction is to remember how it was in the beginning, repent/return, and repeat the actions/emotions/intentions that came naturally when the relationship was new. We don’t have to feel the fondness or admiration at first, but as we practice them, they can be restored. Among many tools, Dr. Gottman uses the instrument below to kick-start the process as the spouse chooses three descriptors and then gives examples of those to the other person.
Photo Credit: John Gottman, The Gottman Institute

Contempt is deceptive. It feels so good to think we are right, and yet in the practice of contempt, we become more isolated and less engaged in real community. Only preferring people who think like we do. At some point, our competencies will be impacted because our problem-solving shrinks down to just judging others and determining they aren’t worth our time. We miss learning from them, and we miss the possibility of genuinely understanding them, even loving them.

Having faced contempt myself in the last week, It has brought me to a “come to Jesus” moment. I don’t want to hold contempt for anyone, no matter how different they are, no matter what wrongs they have done. I want to figure out how to stay engaged with people…such that “if [I] can’t move mountains, [maybe I can] move a stone”.*

Photo Credit: Instagram, Ullie Kaye Poetry*

Monday Morning Moment – Withholding – When It Goes Way Past Boundaries Into Downright Meanness

Photo Credit: Marshall B. Rosenberg, Quote Fancy

This has been days in the writing. When I saw the quote below just scrolling through Instagram, it stopped me in my tracks. Withholding (as defined here) goes way past “not knowing what to say” or “placing boundaries” or any measure of shyness or introversion. Withholding is actually an act of aggression…a display of power. One in which any of us can find ourselves if we don’t practicing checking our hearts or intentions regarding certain people or situations.

Photo Credit: Covenantal Relationships, Instagram

My Mom was the most significant influence in my life growing up. Now, I didn’t have the vocabulary for a lot of what she taught me, in word and deed, until recent years. Much of what she modeled came through her love of Scripture. She wasn’t a practicing Christian in my early childhood, but still she had made some decisions as a young person (while churched or otherwise influenced) that she practiced throughout her life. She became more mature and even more compassionate in these rules of life as she patterned her life more and more like Jesus.

I said all this to say that she was the opposite of a withholding sort of person. Even as an introvert.

Maybe growing up in a home with an alcoholic father and a timid mother influenced her willingness to show up for people – her brothers, her friends, her children, and strangers she met day-to-day. She did not withhold herself from others – all sorts of others – and it made for a beautiful life. This from a woman who worked full-time, raised four kids, and dealt with a cancer that would take her life too soon. Well, it didn’t take her life. Her life was finished at 75 to the glory of God. Even in her last hours and experiencing pain and increasing weakness, she was encouraging all of us around her. She even woke up from a coma that had silenced her to say “I love you” in response to one of her little grandchildren’s goodbyes to her.

This woman. Now you can understand why this issue of withholding feels so wrong to me. I understand people needing boundaries in toxic relationships, however, the practice of withholding can take boundaries up several notches. This probably isn’t a winsome topic because we don’t think what we’re doing is mean-spirited…it’s just because we are busy, or shy, or can’t do one more thing, or (fill in the reason).

Withholding can have different faces depending on what our intent or inclination is. It can be withholding of:

  • Time, attention, helps, favor.
  • Information, encouragement, welcome.
  • Food, possessions, recreation, experiences.
  • People (children, friends, family members).
  • Finances, job opportunities, training/equipping, inclusion.

We have all experienced withholding – either as the one holding out on others or the one experiencing that neglect (whether intended personally or just in the wake of not being chosen for any of the above).

What do we do with this issue? If you’re reading this, you are already on the path to solutions. Those who don’t read this sort of piece don’t see this as a problem. Certainly, none of us are necessarily entitled to whatever is sensed as being withheld. However, if we don’t want to be on the giving end of withholding, we can note it and practice the opposite – a humility, intentionality, watchfulness, and graciousness can move us toward an openness and willingness to be there, even when others are not.

Parenting is a long season where withholding can become a habit – when we as parents get exasperated with our children’s choices and when we are shaken in our sense of who we are and how we’re doing. An example is well-communicated below by Youth Dynamics of Montana. If we have struggled with parenting or have been harmed by our own parents’ withholding, our temptation is to extend that same experience back, over time, either with our kids or our parents.

Do we really want that to become our practice?

Photo Credit: Youth Dynamics of Montana, Instagram

For me, it’s a daily battle to be like my Mom, but one I want to come out winning, or at least fighting. To be that person who works to catch the eye of people, to engage and encourage, to be courteous and deferent, to include, to give where there is opportunity, to serve when I know I can, to share information that would help, to let people in and to show up for others. All of this models good for our children and is a blessing to those around us. Choosing not to withhold myself, my people, and my resources by tightly circling the wagons.

There’s a great call to action by the Prophet Isaiah on what can happen (if I could interject) when we don’t withhold. When we show up, God shows up in exponentially greater ways. Is that your experience?

Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart, “Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God
    will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.”

Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf unstopped;
then shall the lame man leap like a deer, and the tongue of the mute sing for joy.
For waters break forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert…
Isaiah 35:3-6

5 Withholding Tactics Malignant Narcissists and Psychopaths Use To Torment You – Shahida Arabi, MA

What Emotional Withholding Looks Like And How To Handle It In Relationships – Row Light

Why Punishing a Child by Withholding Affection is Wrong – W. R. Cummings

Withholding: A Dangerous Saboteur of Love – That Immobilization Some Feel Under Stress Can Become Withholding Behavior. – Randi Gunther Ph.D.

To Say the Least: Where Deceptively Withholding Information Ends and Lying Begins – Marta Dynel – a highly scholarly (but very readable!), totally fascinating article on this topic

Monday Morning Moment – A Place for You – Deb Mills

Inner Circles – the Mad Pursuit of Position, Power, Prominence, and Plenty – Deb Mills

Monday Morning Moment – Considering Others – the Wawa Experience – Deb Mills

Worship Wednesday – Our Posture Before a Waiting & Loving Father – with Trevin Wax

Photo Credit: Prodigal Son by Eugene Burnand, article by James Ross Kelly

And Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons; and the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that falls to me.’ And he divided his living between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took his journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in loose living. And when he had spent everything, a great famine arose in that country, and he began to be in want. So he went and joined himself to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have fed on the pods that the swine ate; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet; and bring the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and make merry; for this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to make merry.

“Now his elder son was in the field; and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. And he called one of the servants and asked what this meant. And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has received him safe and sound.’ But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, but he answered his father, ‘Lo, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command; yet you never gave me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your living with harlots, you killed for him the fatted calf!’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to make merry and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’Luke 15:11-32

The following is a treasure by writer and researcher Trevin Wax, used with permission. We met only once, but I’ve been learning from him for several years. You are in for a treat – a life-giving infusion of truth, wisdom, and grace.

“Every now and then, a song brings me to tears.

Sometimes it’s an older song that stirs the heart in a new way. I’ve never been able to sing the last verse of Isaac Watts’s hymn, “There Is a Fountain,” because I’m too moved by that image of my “poor lisping, stammering tongue” lying “silent in the grave” before rising again to sing a “nobler, sweeter song” of Christ and his “power to save.”

Songs about the cross and resurrection strike that chord, such as the vision at the end of “O Praise the Name (Anástasis)” of resurrection hope when our gaze will be fixated on the Savior. Andrew Peterson’s “Well Done, Good and Faithful” builds on a Watts hymn and imagines the Father affirming the Son’s sacrificial work; I blubber every Easter season when I hear it. Other songs do the trick too, even simple ones like Steven Curtis Chapman’s “My Redeemer is Faithful and True” or Fernando Ortega’s “Give Me Jesus.”

But for all the times when glorious gospel truth has me fumbling for a Kleenex, there many times when I sing about amazing grace with dry eyes and a lukewarm heart. This has me wondering, What dries up the heart and keeps us from feeling and experiencing the marvelous, matchless grace of God? What keeps the tear ducts blocked?

For starters, there’s the posture of the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son: the self-righteous, self-sufficient one who remains “close” to the father, at least in terms of proximity, while his heart is far from home. The consummate rule-follower believes deep down that the only possible reason God would love us is because we’ve done something to deserve salvation.

Photo Credit: Rembrandt’s Return of the Prodigal, Stanton Lanier

This assumption can manifest itself in many ways, even among those who talk about grace all the time. The self-justifying tendencies of the human heart can lead us to stand on a pedestal of Christian teaching about grace and then look down on others who’ve not arrived at our level of doctrinal understanding or theological precision.

But we cannot weep before the majestic grace of God if we’re still searching for scraps of self-sufficiency. Tears of gratitude will never fall from eyes looking down on others, only from eyes looking up to God’s grace.

But there’s a second posture that keeps us from marveling at the grace of God: the desire to validate ourselves by doing away with sin.

The New Testament’s insistence on our need for redemption humbles us. But redefining sin removes the need for humility, leaving us affirmed in our natural state.

For many today, the problem isn’t the disease of sin, but those who’d diagnose the disease. So, instead of a father running to us with a heart overflowing with forgiveness and healing mercy, we want a father who runs to affirm us and tell us all is well, that what we’ve done either wasn’t that bad or wasn’t bad at all. We want a God to provide a spiritual presence, a transcendent dimension for the life we’ve chosen to live. God becomes the approver of our own self-validation.

This second posture is also rooted in self-righteousness, but it masks itself in false mercy. For some, sin is not that big a deal because God is merciful and it’s his job to forgive. For others, our focus on brokenness and suffering outstrips any notion of sin as transgression or treason against God. God’s mercy and help are there to make us whole, but this “wholeness” must ultimately be defined by every individual.

The first and greatest commandment is “Be true to yourself.” The second is like it: “Affirm whatever self your neighbor decides to be true to.” In this way, we rid ourselves of vice, not through forgiveness, but through redefining vices as virtues, as part of our authentic selves.

And so, the father runs to the repentant son, not to shower him with undeserved grace, but to follow him to the pigsty, where he insists the son’s rebellion was a bold and courageous act of independence, and the diet of pig food is really a feast for the self-actualized.

This posture strips us of the power to weep at grace. Sin is waved, not washed, away. To deny or minimize your sinfulness is to sever the root of gratitude for undeserved favor. Make favor deserved, a reward that showcases your innate worth and value and goodness, and you’ve gutted grace of everything that makes it amazing.

In both cases, whether it’s the elder brother who won’t lower himself to join the feast, or the younger brother who won’t come to his senses because he wants to be “free” to choose the pigsty, self-righteousness blocks tears of gratitude.

Only Jesus gives us grace that meets us in our darkest hour, grace that plumbs the depths of our cavernous hearts, grace that transforms the heart of stone into a heart of flesh.

Undeserved favor strips us of self-righteousness and shows up our paltry attempts at self-validation. Submit to that humble stripping away of all our pride, and then we can bask in the grace that makes us sing louder, shout for joy, and weep with gratitude. That’s the grace we see in the running feet of the father.” – Trevin Wax, Facebook, May 5, 2024

[If you have time, and want to sing praise to God for His great grace, click on any of the song links – old or new.]

Rembrandt’s Prodigal – A Life Lesson – Stanton Lanier

The Story of the Loving Father – William Barclay – James Ross Kelly

Worship Wednesday – For Christ-Followers – It’s Surrender – Not Self-Improvement

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.”Matthew 16:24

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.Galatians 2:20

If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His footsteps. 1 Peter 2:20-21

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. Through these He has given us His precious and magnificent promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, now that you have escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities and continue to grow in them, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever lacks these traits is nearsighted to the point of blindness, having forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. Therefore, brothers, strive to make your calling and election sure. For if you practice these things you will never stumble.2 Peter 1:3-10

Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.2 Corinthians 3:17-18

I’m an avid reader of non-fiction. Sometimes, oftentimes, that has included volumes of Christian self-help books. Self-improvement is very much the goal of New Year’s resolutions, and I am still in the thick of those made a few weeks back.

Then, last week, I read a chapter on improvement in Karen Swallow Prior‘s book, The Evangelical Imagination, and it has totally upended my whole understanding of improving my life – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Reading Prior’s book (and this chapter, at the moment) is a wake-up call on how we have taken on culture’s trappings, language, and ethics. Weaving them into our faith, as if they belonged. Such that we as Christians are merely improved humans, rather than the new creations God has made us.

Photo Credit: Highlight

The Evangelical Imagination: How Stories, Images & Metaphors Created a Culture in Crisis – Karen Swallow Prior

I realize my focus of late has been more self-improvement than sanctification. Why would we want to improve on the self, anyway, since Christ has told us to deny self? It’s not self that I want improved. It’s so much more than that. Sanctification is defined as being set apart. When we come to faith in Christ, we become His, set apart for Himself and for His service. Although we find in Scripture the command to work out our salvation, we must understand that we are not improving on what has already been done for us. Rather, we do what is needful to truly know Christ and to infuse every part of our being with His character. To what end? For His pleasure, for our good, and for the sake of those He places in our lives. For love’s sake.

This kind of work, discipline, habit formation is daily and full of God-shaped challenge. However, the goal is not to improve ourselves, but to become ever more His such that we manifest the very likeness of Christ in our relationships and circumstances. As believers, we aren’t just nice people…we are meant to be warriors on the ready for whatever confronts us or those around us, confident of His power at work in us.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

God calls us often to show up as peacemakers, too. To die to self, to refuse to think ill of others, to forgive (over and over at times), and to seek forgiveness when we’ve wronged someone.

Jesus prayed for us to be one with Him and with each other. To extend the fruit of the Spirit He means for the good of those around us. To confront our sin and to put down our idols. Self-improvement is by its nature self-focused…unless…

You Are Set Free from Self-Improvement – Lydia Brownback

Podcast: The False Messages Facing Women Today (Lydia Brownback)

Unless that working out we’re doing is to benefit others, even more than we are benefited. A self-abandonment. We have someone very close to us who has done a huge work in recent months to be as healthy as he can be. In all areas of his life. Some would call that a massive self-improvement effort, but I know him and I know his heart. He has taken a hard look at his life and made some decisions to stretch himself to love God and his family in deeper ways…rather than escaping into self-serving and escape when his daily work is done. Now could he fall into a lesser pursuit of self-improvement? Sure…we all can, but part of his effort is that sorting out of living the life of a new creation with access to the unfathomable grace, love, and power of God.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

I’m just at the start of figuring out this whole “dying to self and living to God” process. It’s so easy for me to choose comfort over sacrifice. To choose my preferences over His. How gracious the Lord is! He celebrates our small victories and does not condemn us when we falter. We are His, indwelt by His Spirit, with Christ Jesus interceding for us in the Heavenlies in this very moment.

This life is not a self-improvement journey for us as believers. It is a practicing the ways of Christ life. Immersing ourselves in His Word to know Him at a heart level, spending time with Him and others, believing Him to live His life through us, ruthlessly dealing with sin and deception in our lives, and then practicing (working out our salvation) His ways until they become our ways.

What joy! And freedom we discover in this Jesus life…a freedom and a hope that is only ours through Christ’s presence and power. Fleshing out His character in our frail lives, being made more and more like Him, as we work out our salvation, in truly knowing Him and being transformed into His likeness across our lifespan.

Let me close with the beautiful commentary below from Bibleref.com:

In the previous two verses (2 Peter 1:3-4), Peter summarized the enormous benefit we have received in knowing God through faith in Christ. We have been equipped to follow the example of Jesus’ glory and goodness. We’re not missing anything we need to lead the life He calls us to. More, through faith in Jesus, we have been granted the right to participate, right now, in God’s nature. We can partner with Christ in fulfilling God’s purpose on earth. We have been freed from the corruption of sin.

All of that sounds fantastic, but what does it mean for us today? Why does it seem that many Christians are so far away from participating in God’s nature, not living with Christ’s purpose, joy, and love? Why do some continue to live in the sin from whose corruption we’ve supposedly been freed?

This verse gives us a clue. God has given us all we need to live like Jesus, but now we must actually use those gifts. And that means work. Before we had received God’s gift of grace, we lacked both the ability and the desire to live in Jesus’ glory and goodness. Now that we have been empowered to do so, we must “make every effort” to add the following qualities [2 Peter 1:3-10] to, or “alongside,” our faith.

In other words, we must begin to live as if what we believe is really true.

By faith, we came to Christ. Now, with Christ’s power, we must work to add goodness to our faith, and to add knowledge to our goodness. The next two verses (vv. 6 & 7) will explore additional ideas about the chain of traits we as Christians should work to build into our lives.” Bibleref.com

#2. Add to Your Faith Goodness – (2 Peter 1:5-11) – 2 Peter & Jude Bible Studies – Ralph F. Wilson

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Practicing the Way website- John Mark Comer

Growth Is Not the Goal: Why We Need Habits of Grace – David Mathis, Desiring God

How Christian Is Self-Improvement – Marshall Segal, Desiring God

Sanctification – Bible Study Tools

The Most Important Cultural Book of the Year (Maybe Even Decade) – Review: ‘The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self’ by Carl Trueman – Andrew T. Walker