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Worship Wednesday – Homecoming – Bethel Music

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Photo Credit: Heartlight

Finally he came to his senses and said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have plenty of food? But here I am, starving to death!‘ — Luke 15:17

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet.  And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.  For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate. – Luke 15:20-24

After this I looked and saw a multitude too large to count, from every nation and tribe and people and tongue, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” – Revelation 7:9-10

Coming home. Whatever our situation might be, hopefully that phrase has a comforting ring. In my youth and early adulthood, “coming home” felt very much like the prodigal son’s experience in the Scripture above. My parents were always welcoming and delighted in my arrival. I knew unconditional love from them which helped me understand how much the Lord loves us. Some of us don’t have that experience with our earthly parents. So painful and wrong. Generations of families where performance was demanded to receive love. Not at all what we experience in God’s Kingdom.

As we near the holidays in America, our sense of home is stirred up – in positive and sometimes negative ways. I’ve written about the sweetness of Thanksgivings past. They weren’t perfect given our own imperfections, but they gave a glimpse of the One Day when our homecoming will be something altogether other-worldly.

The first time I heard Bethel Music‘s song “Homecoming” was this past Sunday during worship at Movement Church. Unlike the video below with a huge worship band and a packed house, we were led by a 5-member praise team who still brought the house down in my heart. Not in any kind of performative sense, but in the lyrics and beauty of melody and harmony – telling the story of our welcome Home to Heaven.

None of us deserve such a homecoming. Sin has darkened our way Home. Yet, because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, He has given us the way, and we are confident in Him. Just like with the prodigal, we know our way Home, and we are headed there – a little closer each day.

What an amazing thought – to be rejoined with our dearest family who have gone before us. To be greeted by the saints of old. To look, finally, into the very eyes of Jesus – the One who gave His all so that we might become sons and daughters of the Father. Whew! Hallelujah!

We live in the present with our eyes on the future, and yet, we also plant ourselves in this season of homecoming – to show the Father’s love in both easy and complicated situations. To experience His “welcome Home” in those quiet moments of reveling in Him alone. When boundaries are required to get through the holidays, take hope that the day will come when they will no longer be necessary.

Worship with me.

Lord, I confess
That I’ve been a criminal
I’ve stolen Your breath
And sang my own song
And Lord, I confess
That I’m far from innocent
These shackles I wear
Oh, I bought on my own

These scarlet sins had a crimson cost
You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross
An empty slate, at the empty grave
Thank God that stone was rolled away

Lord, I confess
I’ve been a prodigal
Made for Your house
But I walked my own roads
Then Jesus came
He tore down my prison walls
Death came to life
When He called me by name

Scarlet sins had a crimson cost
You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross
An empty slate, at the empty grave
Thank God that stone was rolled
Scarlet sins had a crimson cost
You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross
An empty slate, at the empty grave
Thank God that stone was rolled away

And I can see it now
Smiling in Heaven, You and I, You and I

And I see bright, crimson robes draped over the ashes
A wide, open tomb where there should be a casket
The children are singing, and dancing, and laughing
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming
Roses in bloom pushed up from the embers
Our rivers of tears flow from good times remembered
Families are singing, and dancing, and laughing
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming
Heaven joins in with a glorious sound
And the great cloud of witnesses all gather ’round
‘Cause the ones that were lost are finally found
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming

Scarlet sins had a crimson cost
You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross
An empty slate, at the empty grave
Thank God that stone was rolled

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming

Can you see it now?
Standing on the shores of Heaven
You and I, and our families
Singing, and dancing, and laughing
There’s truly no place like home
Yeah
Jesus, You’re so beautiful
Haha, see Him face to face
Can we sing that bridge together one last time?
“I see bright, crimson robes”

I see bright, crimson robes draped over the ashes
A wide, open tomb where there should be a casket
The children are singing, and dancing, and laughing
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming
Roses in bloom, they pushed up from the embers
Our rivers of tears flow from good times remembered
Families are singing, and dancing, and laughing (Let’s go)
The Father is welcoming (Come on)
This is our homecoming
And Heaven joins in with a glorious sound
And the great cloud of witnesses all gather ’round
‘Cause the ones that were lost are finally found
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming

Scarlet sins had a crimson cost
You nailed my debt to that old rugged cross
An empty slate, at the empty grave
Thank God that stone was rolled

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh
The Father is welcoming
This is our homecoming*

Photo Credit: Air1

*Lyrics to Homecoming – Songwriters: Cory Asbury, Gable Price, Brian Johnson, and Christian Ostrom

Is ‘Homecoming’ Biblical? – the Berean Test (10/10) – Vince Wright

Photo Credit: Heartlight

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Monday Morning Moment – Reflecting on Family

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[Dave’s Mom, Our Adult Kids, Dave & Me – Not all the grands are on social media – but they begin the next generation of our family.]

I want to write about family…well, this family right here. In fact, I want to write a letter to them. Feel free to read along.

Dear Family,

Yesterday was a sweet time celebrating our September birthday guys – Dave & Nathan. Father & First Son. You both are so dear to all of us.

To you siblings and siblings-in-law, I love you so much. In the early years, I had this wild idea about how, while we live in the same city, we would get together weekly – like for Sunday dinner – like in the TV show Blue Bloods.

[Blue Bloods – read the short piece on how their weekly family gatherings shaped the show and character relationships.]

We don’t get together weekly, and that’s ok. When we do get together, it can be loud and opinionated, just like that TV family. However, it’s always rich – food for thought as well as body. Hope you leave each time, not just with a full tummy but, with the refreshed understanding of how much you are loved. Not just by Dad and me but by your siblings.

[I’m a faithful documenter of people and special events. Always working on their patience. It means a lot when everyone cues up and smiles, but occasionally someone doesn’t feel like it…and that’s ok.]

To our youngest: I know being the baby of the family can get old, especially when you find yourself in your mid-30s. Hopefully you know that your opinions matter to your family. We want to know what you think… always. It made me sad that you were suffering from a headache through most of the meal yesterday. Please take heart that although we all don’t always agree on everything, we are grounded in love for each other. That’s priority and it will never change. Ever. I want to thank you for loving your family, too. You don’t have to show up and yet you do. There is a measure of hard in your life, different from ours, which would be easy for you to stay focused on. It gives us immeasurable joy when you are able to shake off the hard and laugh about “the old days”, tease your siblings and absorb their ribbing, and love on your nieces and nephews. It’s also no small thing how you serve us (me) – baking and straightening.

[Lots of Sibling Love Right Here]

To the married siblings and their spouses: You have incredibly busy lives, and yet for those hours when we are together for the odd special occasion, time slows. You are present. You are engaged. You are yourselves. The flow of conversation is easy and animated. You roll with the skirmishes between little cousins and you parent them all so well. I hope you know how much you are loved. As your Dad (Dad-in-law) and I get older, we are so grateful for how you hang in there with us and each other. Family estrangement is so prevalent in our world today, but so far, we have weathered the storms. Your commitment to our family is something we do NOT take for granted.

[The Guys]

[The Big Sister & the Little Brother]

To any who are reading: all families are different. Within each family, there are tremendous differences in temperaments, preferences, and even worldview. Ruptures can happen and repair is hard to come by. Our Sunday birthday dinner reminded me of things learned over the last few years:

  • We can make a place of safety and security for those we live.
  • When we are only around people who agree with us, we experience an echo chamber of affirmation. When we experience dissonant voices from those who love us, we learn how to better love those different from us.
  • In a rowdy family discussion, we still probably agree more than we disagree. Take an inventory on that from time to time. How do we affirm each other even when we don’t agree?
  • Lead with curiosity and empathy. If contempt is stirred up, recognize it for the destroyer of relationships it is, and take steps against it (see here).
  • Remember life is messy. Family is messy. We may prefer our lives (and families) to “look” a certain way, but it’s healthier for us to be real and honest with each other. “The human mind doesn’t have the capacity to live a life so curated” (convo with friend/counselor Taryn Blocker).
  • Flexibility is a character quality we all need to navigate relationships when people are crossing our boundaries. Flexibility, humility, and forgiveness. It’s going to happen, especially in family. Respecting boundaries goes both ways and takes both self-care and other-care. Or relationships break down.
  • What else? What would you add to those list? Please share in comments.

[The original three & me]

I am very thankful for this family. With all our warts. Not unlike any other family out there. So thankful for the relationships these siblings have with each other, and for the littles with their sibling and cousin relationships. Check out these beautiful reels from Instagram on the topic.

Instagram – Siblings Are One of the Most Important Relationships You Will Ever Have

Instagram – “Who do we call when you’re not around?”…”Each other.”

Finally, I’d like to just mention psychiatrist Dr. Gabor Maté‘s opinion on how all children grow up in different families with different parents. He justifies that thinking about how we, as parents, change and evolve in our thinking on parenting, with each child, and our children are all different from each other. We may even use the same practices but our children react differently to them. The old adage” of “caught or taught” would bring meaning to this as well.

“Siblings may grow up in the same house, but that doesn’t mean their childhoods were the same. Not even close.

Same parents? Nope.
Same family? Nope.
Same childhood? Absolutely not.

Parents show up differently for each child depending on the season of their life, their relationship, and even their financial situation.

It’s not about who is loved more.
It’s about how that love is expressed — and how each child experiences it.

If you’ve ever wondered why you and your siblings remember childhood so differently — this is why. – Clip from The Mel Robbins Podcast, Conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté – “Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal”

How Today’s Parents Say their Approach to Parenting Does – or Doesn’t – Match Their Own Upbringing – Pew Research – Kiley Hurst, Dana Braga, Shannon Greenwood, Chris Baronavski, & Michael Keegan

Dr. Gabor Maté Explains His ‘No Two Children HaveThe Same Parents’ Philosophy – Annie Reneau

Then, to those amazing adult children, add spouses, careers, and varied life experiences to the equation, and we continue to have the wonder of family – familiar and yet also new and changing. It makes for a fascinating Sunday dinner experience…and a lifetime of tilling the soil of a safe, secure, and hopefully sacred love for each other.

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Monday Morning Moment – Remembering My Brother, Robert

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[My older brother, Robert]

[Adapted from the Archives]

Brothers – I have three. Never had had sisters and always wanted one. Fortunately, I do have two sisters-in-law married to two of those brothers who have given me that sweet experience of sisters for life. [Another amazing sister-in-law thanks to my husband’s brother].

Now, back to my brothers.

[L to R; Dwane, Wade, and Robert]

One died too young, and we miss him. Our older brother, Robert, died of a “shredded aorta”. The surgeon who operated for hours to save his life told our family they were able to repair the aorta but couldn’t get him off bypass. He was just too tired.

Today is his birthday. He would have been 79 but died at 61.

Life was hard for my brother, Robert, twice divorced and struggling with health issues that diminished him. He coped not well by blaming the hard on others. His siblings took some of the brunt of it…his children and parents also. However, we learned especially from our mom’s example that loving him mattered. Two friends of mine, in separate conversations, gave me excellent advice: “Hurt people hurt people… deflect the attacks and lean in anyway.” I learned what the buttons were that Robert pushed for me and “deactivated” them. I wanted our relationship to survive. Somehow, when I didn’t react to his put-downs or temper outbursts, he just stopped trying to engage in that way. What if I had walked away and given up on him, on us. Thankfully, we had time…not as much as we would have liked, but time…to be close, to laugh over memories, to share the daily small victories, to long together for better days, to make plans for those days. I learned so much from him on dealing with challenge and not giving up.

One day I will tell him.

My two “little brothers”, Dwane and Wade, have benefited from what we learned from our older brother. We three have always had strong opinions like our big brother, but less argumentative and more gentle. Now that our parents are gone, we hold together, somewhat imperfectly. Not any of us living in the same state has made closeness more challenging. However, I can’t imagine any disagreement ever separating us from each other. We are family and I am so thankful for them.

How about you?

Sometimes we lose a parent (or both) through divorce or death. We are with our siblings for most all of our lives. They help shape us for life. They know us differently than any one else in the world.

My extended family lives far from me. Every trip to gather, every phone call and text message mean the world.

Let’s celebrate our families while we have them. None are perfect. Some are exceptionally difficult. We have much to learn – from our original families – to live well in our own next families…and to love well, even through the hard.

Remembering Robert today. His passion, his joy in the simple things, his longing for family closeness, his persevering in the hard. He had a temper, too, but it calmed as he got older and nearer to death (although he didn’t know it was coming). So thankful for the life we shared and the time we had. I will never forget. So grateful that his faith in God was restored in the end and we will see each other in Heaven. Until then…

[Robert and his tiny granddaughter]
[Robert & his little niece Christie, all grown-up now]
[Robert with his daughter Stephanie and grandchildren Stephen and Erica]
[Robert with our good friend, Heba, who saw his heart and helped us not to miss it]

Monday Morning Moment – a Wave of Nostalgia and 3 Lessons Taken – Deb Mills

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Worship Wednesday – Friends – Michael W. Smith

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A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. – Proverbs 18:24

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. – Proverbs 17:17

Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. – Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. – Jesus – John 15:13-15

I have written about friends often through the years. A LOT. As a very imperfect friend myself, God has graced me with good and strong friendships over my lifetime. Some of those friends are family. Most are not related by blood, but by heart and purpose. I am forever grateful.

Our son Nathan took me out to breakfast for my birthday. He is not only family but a cherished friend. He can be so funny, and yet our conversations seem to always go to the serious side of life. Probably because I’m on the other side of the table.

During this meal together, we talked some about friends and about family. Mostly about friends. What sorts of friendships make it through our lifetimes? What sort of friend do we want to be? We talked about speaking truth to each other “in love”, about shouldering each other’s burdens, about giving grace and seeking understanding, about long-suffering, and about when and if a season is over in a friendship.

I wish you could have been able to hear the wisdom he shared with his mama. Ours is a friendship that I believe will weather any storm, for which I am grateful. I pray that I won’t cause him pain or put pressure on him because of some sort of selfish ambition. He, like a treasured few others in family and community, is a picture of Jesus in my life.

Friendships take time, and we only have a finite bit of that. How do we measure out our time? Or our hearts and minds, for that matter? Some friendships are (in the common vernacular) “a life suck”. They aren’t easy to stay in. Especially when there is emotional (even spiritual) pain as a fruit of those relationships. These sorts of relationships probably generated the terms “toxic” and “boundaries”, and I get it.

My hope for him and the rest of our family is to keep Christ the Lord of our friendships. He will guide us through them, and if necessary, away from them. Across this longish life of mine, I’ve had hard friendships, some of which couldn’t weather our differences. Some friends have stuck with me, even when they received little back, for which I’m forever grateful. These friends (some of whom are also family) have encouraged me to do better and have affirmed my own commitment to be present, when possible.

Today, I came across a gem of poetry by writer Molly Burford. She entitles the piece “Types of People You Need to hang On To (Parts 1 and 2)”. Her words inspire both the kind of friend to be and the kind of friendship to nurture. We do NOT want to take for granted such people in our lives.

Moments to Hold Close – Molly Burford

Photo Credit: Thought Catalog, Facebook
Photo Credit: Molly Burford, Thought Catalog, Facebook

Moments to Hold Close – Molly Burford

In the afterglow of breakfast with Nathan, alone again working at home, I was reminded of Michael W. Smith‘s old, old song “Friends”, written in the 80s. His wife, Debbie, actually wrote the lyrics, and he composed the music. It’s a song about letting go of friends – not the friendship but the nearness of them (either if they have relocated or gone to be with the Father).

One of the lines is so compelling: “Friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the Lord of them.” We can have complicated friendships and we only have so much time…true friendships can endure distance and differences. Especially if the Lord covers them. That is key.

Another line always gives me goosebumps (and one day tears, when I get them back – that’s another story): “a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends“. We may not always be as close as we would like – between the pull of a 24-hour day and other relationships that require our attention. However, we can hope to be friends forever…given great grace.

I am deeply grateful for those forever friends in my life – some from my family and some who have chosen to be family. You know who you are. Thank you.

Worship God in this classic Michael W. Smith tribute to the Lord’s gift of friends and true friendship:

Packing up the dreams God planted
In the fertile soil of you
I can’t believe the hopes He’s granted
Means a chapter of your life is through

[Pre-Chorus]
But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone
‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong

[Chorus]
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends


And with the faith and love God’s given
Springing from the hope we know
We will pray the joy you live in
Is the strength that now you show

[Pre-Chorus]
But we’ll keep you close as always
It won’t even seem you’ve gone (It won’t seem you’ve gone)
‘Cause our hearts in big and small ways
Will keep the love that keeps us strong
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus]
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends

And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them (The lord-)
And a friend will not say never (It will never say-)
‘Cause the welcome will not end (Ooh)
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends
To live as friends

[Outro]
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends
No a lifetime’s not too long
To live as friends

*Lyrics to Friends – Songwriters: Michael W. Smith & Deborah D. Smith

Monday Morning Moment – Real Friendship – on Friends Who Wound, Fierce Friends, Friends who Turn Around, and Friends Who Stay – Deb Mills

YouTube Video – TV Special – 35 Years of Friends – Celebrating the Music of Michael W. Smith

YouTube Video – Michael W. Smith (Friends) – excerpt from TV special above

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Monday Morning Moment – Thanksgiving Memories – All Good Gifts

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2006 -- Nov -- Thanksgiving table

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.  – James 1:17

[Adapted from the Archives]

For most of 20 years, we lived in North Africa where a Thanksgiving holiday was a foreign concept. “Eid el Shukr” (“Feast of Thanks” in Arabic) was understood but not a day set aside. We, along with other expat Americans, brought Thanksgiving with us and invited our local friends into the experience. On the surface, American Thanksgiving has pretty much three constant components – food, family, and football.

Back in the States, the old traditions are changing and yet stay sweetly familiar. My Mom, who always laid out an incredible Southern-style feast on the kitchen counter at home in Georgia, is no longer with us. As with some of you, I’m sure, I miss her still every day and how she lavished love on us through these family times together. Our children are grown now and establishing their own traditions with more families and friends added into the mix. Each year, we find ourselves re-working our own traditions as well.

Thanksgiving is again, for many of us, all about food, family, and football…but there’s also another element…faith… I am grateful every day for the kindnesses of God and those he’s placed in our lives. Celebrating Thanksgiving allows us to put an exclamation point on being grateful. It’s not just about a table full of food, although food is clearly a focal point. Thanksgiving, even as a national holiday and not a religious one, focuses our sight beyond ourselves. There is an object in Thanksgiving beyond ourselves.

Over 50 years ago, a funky little Broadway musical was turned into a film – Godspell. It was an adaptation of the life of Jesus according to the Gospel of Matthew. At that time, I was in the season of life that young people pass through of searching out what exactly I believed. It wasn’t going well at that time. Praise God, He did not forget me during those days when I had all but forgotten Him. Watching the film Godspell was one of the occasions God used to wake me up. There’s a wonder and delight in the young followers of Jesus in the musical. It reminded me of what I had once with God…and what could be again.

All the songs in the musical Godspell are lovely. Composer and lyricist, Stephen Schwartz, beautifully captured some of Jesus’ teaching and the depth of love and rightness between Him, His followers, and creation, in general. All Good Gifts, adapted from an old hymn, is one such song and is a pure and proper doxology of praise for Thanksgiving.

Worship with me. 

All Good Gifts*
We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on the land..
But it is fed and watered by God’s almighty hand..
He sends us snow in winter, the warmth to swell the grain…
The breezes and the sunshine, and soft refreshing rain…

All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above
Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love…

We thank thee then, O Father, for all things bright and good,
The seedtime and the harvest, our life our health our food,
No gifts have we to offer for all thy love imparts
But that which thou desirest, our humble thankful hearts!

All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above..
Then thank the Lord, thank the Lord for all his love..

I really wanna thank you Lord!
All good gifts around us
Are sent from Heaven above..
Then thank the Lord, oh thank the Lord for all his love..

Food – Family Favorites in Mom’s Kitchen
Football – on T.V. or out on the street with cousins and friends
Family – Time together…savoring every minute

Happy Thanksgiving…

Oh…just in case Thanksgiving is a struggle…and it isn’t all happy family fun…I pray you take courage and rein in your heart to remember that God sees and loves you. We can be a Thanksgiving blessing to each other…if you’ve read this far…you are a blessing to me. Wish you were at our table…maybe one day you will be. You are definitely welcome at God’s table.

YouTube Video – Take Courage – Kristene DiMarco

*Lyrics and Story Behind the Song – All Good Gifts (Godspell)

YouTube Video – All Good Gifts (Godspell 1990)

YouTube Video Clip – All Good Gifts (Godspell original cast 1973)

Wikipedia article on original hymn/lyric – We Plough the Fields and Scatter (1862)

Thanksgiving with MomMom
[Thanksgiving with the kids, 2015 – and a napping first-born grandchild not in pic]
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Anniversary Milestone – 40 Years Married – a Walk with God and Each Other

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2009 April May Trip to Georgia 112 (2)

[Adapted from the Archives]

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.  – Colossians 3:15-20

On August 4, we will be 40 years married! Whew! Thanks be to God!

The flight of years shows in our bodies and minds, but for us, it is most apparent in the launch of adult children into their own lives, work, and marriages. Then…it comes back to just the two of us…and I am grateful for his company.

IMG_0009 (2)

Our marriage has always been of a quiet steady sort . My husband and I married best friends. We were polar opposites in most ways, except our faith and being raised in Southern families, with Godly, praying mamas. He was “read and follow directions” marrying “fly by the seat of her pants.” It was definitely a match made in Heaven because we would need the God of Heaven to keep us on course as we figured marriage out…both without and, later, with children.

In fact, those of you who know us well know the struggles we have had figuring out parenting (both young children and then adult children). Also the challenges of having very different ideas and giftings on doing life. I’ve written so much about this in my journals over the years, wrestling with God and my own heart in these areas. Should our kids read those journals one day, I trust them to handle the pages of angst about our marriage with gentleness and understanding. Hopefully they have always seen us pull together more than pull apart.

I’ve often quoted Elisabeth Elliot on love and marriage. Two thoughts come to mind. She speaks of love as being “a laid-down life.” She also talks of marriage as being good for Christians to mature in their walk with God, because [in marriage] “there’s so much scope for sinning.” My husband has taught me a lot in both of these areas, and I, him – hopefully more on the lines of laying down our lives for each other, rather than the scope for sinning part…sigh.

2005 December - Christmas with Mills & Halls 089a (2)

Whatever these nearing forty years have produced with us together, the best of it has been 3 great young people (and the 2 beautiful extra children who’ve joined our family through them, so far)…and GRANDCHILDREN! Alongside those treasures is the unalterable way the Lord has knit us together, my husband and me, with each other and with Him.

I have some idea what is ahead, given our ages and the world around us (we’ve already been through a cancer diagnosis, big job changes, losses of dear parents, and sickness in our children and grandchildren). The hard is softened by what is promised (and proven) through God’s Word. Whatever is ahead, I am so grateful for what I’ve learned through this man who married me 40 years ago.

He has given me the face of a man who does not give up, of one who never leaves the room, of one who fights for what is right, of one who is tender toward the weak, of one who loves no matter what. I have been both the recipient of this and the one by his side as he extends himself to others.

Now, we are two again…as in the beginning of our relationship.  Yet we are at a very different place. God has shown Himself to be ever-present in all these years of our lives. For many years I didn’t think marriage was to be mine…then Dave came into my life quite providentially. God gave me exactly what I needed in this husband of mine – a man as true as steel in his walk with God and with his family. We count on him; he counts on God. Whatever happens out there in front of us…I have peace, on this 40th anniversary, that God will be there for each of us, to show us how to live…as He has in all these years thus far.

Through the Years – YouTube video of Kenny Rogers Ballad

YouTube Video – Jesus and You – Matthew West

YouTube Video – You’re Still the One – Shania Twain [Twain’s “still the one” is no longer her one, but the song is beautiful. So I wanted to keep it in this list since Dave’s still my one.]

YouTube Video – Brandon Lake – NOTHING NEW (I DO) – Wedding Version ft. Brittany Lake

Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to Make us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy – by Gary Thomas – Such a great book!

An example of Elisabeth Elliot’s counsel to one marrying – Always forgive.

Elisabeth Elliot Quotes

Laughter, Legacy, Love Your Neighbor, Memories, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Remembering, Resilience, Seasons

Monday Morning Moment – Laughter – Medicine for the Heart

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Photo Credit: Pinterest

Here’s to all those who make us laugh! Without any need for alcohol or even inspiration, something said or done, a facial expression or shoulder shrug, and we are happily taken off-guard and laughter follows. No matter the setting. In fact, I have memories of laughing with friends at the family visitation before my mom’s funeral. As off-putting as that might have been for some, it was a joy in reminiscing over shared times together, with Mom in the mix. I’m sure in some Heavenly space, Mom was glad for that momentary release from grief for us. Laughter…what a gift!

Photo Credit: Swedish proverb, PPT-Online

Earlier this morning, I was thrifting with my friend, Angela. We were scanning titles in the used book section of the store, out of view of each other. Then I heard her actively engaged in animated conversation with a man also looking at books. They clearly knew each other and their laughter at this chance meeting splashed over into my own heart. He was an old co-worker from another season of her life, Angela would tell me, and it was a happy remembrance of those days.

For me, it was just fun to hear her laugh. I was reminded of a situation yesterday afternoon while reading a book my daughter had shared with me. She said I should occasionally take a break from my serious non-fiction reading and recharge with some fiction. The first book she lent me, some weeks ago, was author Gary D. Schmidt‘s Okay For Now. [I highly recommend it to anyone who needs a break from the serious.] I finished it in a couple of days. Then she gave me Schmidt’s The Wednesday Wars. Both books tell the story of middle school boys and the trials and tribulations of their lives (as seen through their oftentimes hilarious take on reality). The stories are set in the late 60s during the Vietnam War era (I resonated so much with that period and those stories).

There’s an especially funny part in The Wednesday Wars where seventh-grader Hollings, the hero of this story, was assisting the school custodian, who was replacing bulging ceiling tiles damaged by two enormous rats. Previously, the rats were the class pets (cute when tiny, terrifying once grown) but they escaped and built a nest in the unseen space above. In dislodging one tile, the custodium unleashed an avalanche – the gross, chewed up contents of the rats’ nest fell straight down onto Hollings’ head. [You’ve got to read it to know just how hysterical it was.] Reading that portion out loud to husband Dave – we were both laughing so hard, it was nearly impossible for me to finish what I wanted to share with him.

Laughter.

All this gave pause today, thinking about the joy of laughter. I’m a fairly serious sort, so folks aren’t drawn to me for hilarity. You can count on me to stay in the room if you’re struggling with something. Hopefully, you might feel better, encouraged, hopeful after our visit, but laughing out loud? Probably not. Thankfully, others bring that gracious gift to relationships.

[I actually took a few minutes to go through my phone directory to be reminded of those who simply brighten life by showing up…more than that, they regularly make me laugh. They probably aren’t that way all the time, but they are genuinely and gently funny. Steve C., John D., Sarah DeJ., David G., Anne S., Heba T., and Sharon W. Combinations of people also have a chemistry that literally combusts laughter for everyone – Khiry, Cam, and EB are such friends. Who are your people?]

Being a serious person who leads a fairly quiet life, I end up going to reels on social media for laughter (too often really; should just invite these friends over for dinner…or invite ourselves for coffee dates). Recommended for you are the three comedians below…there are many others, including folks who are just funny without making a living at it. Please put any favorites of yours in the Comments.

Michael Jr. – From Comedy to Clarity

John B. Crist

Leanne Morgan Comedy

Nate Bargatze

Finally, in my family of introverts, I’ve had great cause for laughter. Husband Dave is one who makes me laugh. He can be very serious himself, but his take on life can be quite oddly funny. He also remembers perfect lines from movies for just about any situation.

Then there are our children. Christie, as older sister to her brothers, has always been a buffer for their shenanigans. She calls them back to perspective and, like her dad, has a sharp memory for stories, situations, and song lyrics (that make us laugh and can shake us all out of sourness). Her tales of babysitting in college and teaching kids in public school are still favorites when we’re together. Now with children of her own (who aren’t subjects for social media), she captures the sweet and funny with them and shares with us.

Nathan, our middle child, makes us laugh, with his many faces, and his wise and sometimes unusual takes on life. Growing up, he could be hard on both his big sister and little brother, and yet he also brought the joy. Even more now.

[Nathan with one of his many faces and post-anesthesia after wisdom tooth extraction. Legendary.]

Daniel, our youngest, is also one who can make us laugh and whom we want to make laugh. He loses it better than anyone I know. We never tire of each of the kids’ retelling stories of Daniel’s antics growing up and his many funny outbursts and creative word pronunciations. We have hilarious memories from our family vacations together, especially in the seaside town of Oualidia, Morocco. Like experiencing seafood we’d never eaten before – sea urchin (the spiny exterior was still moving) is one that caused uncontrollable laughter at our table.

Our Daniel works very hard at living independently and can take the struggles of life too deeply to heart. That’s why it’s especially lovely for his Mom to have his siblings around the table to pull that smile and laughter out of him.

Is There Laughter in Your Walls? – Cavin Harper

The grandkids are their own story which I won’t share here. Still, don’t kids say amazing things? Their wonder and joy at living, their perspective on life, and their sibling and cousin challenges and how they get sorted…always make me smile.

So there you go…now, you may be one of those people in your world that makes others laugh. I just want to thank you for that. If you’re one who takes life more seriously (as part of your own wiring), and you don’t have regular encounters with the people above, maybe it’s time to take an inventory. Watching YouTube videos or Instagram reels are a bandaid for sure, but let’s be intentional about having laughter in our lives. That generous kind that spills over into the lives of others. Bring it!

[Please comment on those folks, professional and personal, who make you laugh. Share away. Also what do you do to up your appreciation of the joys around you? – like collecting and remembering stories, journaling the joys of life, being present in the moment wherever you are and whomever you’re with.]

Laughter in the Walls – a poem by Bob Benson

Leave Some Laughter in Your Walls – The Raineys

The Science Behind the Joy of Sharing Joy – Emma Seppälä Ph.D.

Stress Relief from Laughter? It’s No Joke – Mayo Clinic

How Does Humor Affect Mental Health? – Dan Brennan

Give Your Body a Boost–with Laughter – R. Morgan Griffin

Feel-good Hormones: How They Affect Your Mind, Mood, and Body – Stephanie Watson

All Good Gifts, America, Arts, Attending or Focus, Bookmarked Summer, Books, Character, Communication, Community, Conversations, Critical Thinking, Decision-making, Emotions, Family

5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar, “Thrive by Five” Parenting, Unexpected Wisdom, Confessional Communities, and Funerals

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Happy Friday! Welcome weekend. Rapid fire Friday Faves.

1) Beyond the Guitar – While Nathan’s “saddest song” arrangement on YouTube moves toward a million views, he continues to teach, arrange, and compose.

Enjoy!

YouTube Video – This Scene from The Office Changed My Life #Shorts – Beyond the Guitar

2) “Thrive by Five” Parenting – Have you seen the TED Talk below? Start here…fascinating the impact of attuned parents on their babies.

YouTube Video – Molly Wright: How Every Child Can Thrive by Five – TED Talk – “Serve & return. Early & often.”

Photo Credit: YouTube, TED Talk, Thrive by Five

I so appreciate the work of psychiatrists/therapists Curt Thompson MD, Adam Young, Matthias Barker, Dan Siegel MD, and others.

Foster mom Jamie Finn posted on the first year of a baby’s life and how vital it is to build that foundation of secure attachment:

“Baby has a need, baby cries, attuned caregiver meets need, baby learns to trust. This is the basic foundation of the attachment cycle.

And it’s the foundation for every relationship and interaction a person has with the surrounding world from that point forward. Secure attachment teaches the child’s brain & body & beliefs: I am safe, people are trustworthy, the world makes sense.

The first year of life is the most developmentally significant, formative time of a child’s life.

The moments of motherhood that make up the first few months of a baby’s life go far beyond the present and profoundly impact the future of that little person. Every cry that’s responded to, need that’s met, and discomfort that’s soothed actually changes the brain’s chemistry and structure, the body’s ability to regulate and feel safe—the complete trajectory of a child’s life.

I don’t know how long this little one will be with me, and I don’t know if he’ll have memories of me. But I know that his brain and body will remember my nurturing care, and it will change his life forever.” – Jamie Finn

The 4 S’s of Secure Attachment and How They Impact Adult Relationships – Hope Gillette

Integrating Science, Culture and Anthropology: A New Journal Article Discusses Thrive by Five International’s Novel Scientific Framework

Thrive by Five – Ideas Hub

Thrive by Five – Minderoo

Facebook – Foster the Family – Jamie Finn – First year of life is the foundation for attachment.

Instagram – Foster the Family Blog – Jamie Finn

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=770770747740992&set=a.548292643322138

3) Unexpected Wisdom – We have a subscription to The Richmond Forum. It’s a lecture series with world-renowned speakers. Some are politicians, some actors, some writers, some private and public sector leaders, and all influencers. Two of my favorite speakers this year were actor and arts education advocate John Lithgow and a dialog between Dr. Cornel West and Thomas Chatterton Williams. The West and Williams dialog centered on “the absolute condemnation of no one”. Brilliant and redemptive!

Below are samples of their work including a longer version of the West/Williams conversation on another platform. Don’t miss it.

Photo Credit: John Lithgow, Richmond Forum

Never Play Music Right Next to the Zoo

YouTube Video – John Lithgow Breaks Down His Most Iconic Characters

YouTube Video – Carnival of the Animals – John Lithgow

4) Confessional Communities – My absolute favorite podcast is Dr. Curt Thompson‘s Being Known. I’ve been listening (watching on YouTube) ever since Dr. Curt Thompson’s books changed my understanding of the mind/brain and community.

This season’s podcast focuses on confessional communities and if you only listen to one before you will want to listen to them all, here‘s the one.

Being Known Podcast – Dr. Curt Thompson & Pepper Sweeney

“We need others to bear witness to our deepest longings, our greatest joys, our most painful shame, and all the rest in order to have any sense at all of ourselves.” — Curt Thompson, MD

Confessional communities are not therapeutic groups as we have traditionally known as group therapy. However, they are also more than a Bible-study oriented small group, the kind we might experience as part of a church curriculum. Confessional communities require commitment of a deeper nature from participants who are willing to explore attachment, attunement, presence, and vulnerability – extending welcome and experiencing welcome, all seeking to be known and truly know and affirm each other.

Read Thompson’s books and listen/watch his podcasts for an excellent introduction to this process. I would love to be part of a confessional community…it will happen.

5) Funerals – Why a fave? Well…it comes after watching a British series involving an undertaker (the show had a great story-line but very adult-themed so will leave it at that). The funeral conversations, preparation, and executions were both poignant, sometimes oddly funny, and beautiful.

I was reminded of the funerals of people close to me – young nephew, parents, brother, father-in-law, uncles, aunts, friends and colleagues. It was a privilege to be present for many of these. Some we had to watch via live-stream which itself was a blessing…a perk that came out of the COVID era.

Photo Credit: Air Force, Defense Department

Looking back at images from our mom’s funeral and then our dad’s some 15 years later, memories washed over me. How honored they were by those officiating, how healing the conversations with family and friends (some whom we hadn’t seen in too many years). The care given to detail. The time given to both grieve their passing and celebrate their lives. Such a mix of emotions. Completely thankful for the gathering and strengthening of community that funerals facilitate.

Cremation is replacing burial more these days. We are rethinking our own choices on this. However, having a funeral is something I want for our children and grandchildren, in particular. Not for my sake but for theirs. They may not want this, and I get it, but my hope is they have helps to reflect, remember, and reorient. A funeral, or celebration of life, or memorial service – whatever it’s called makes a difference.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Doing Death Differently: Today’s Funerals Are Not Like They Used to Be – Elle Hunt

Should We Celebrate Funerals? – Kenneth J. Doka Ph.D.

Americans Avoiding Funerals and Not Leaving Their Mark

The Importance of Flags and Horses in American Military Funerals – Suzette Sherman

Well…it’s been a minute since I’ve pulled together a Friday Faves. Hope it was fun to read. Thanks for stopping by…it’s means more than you know. Have a restful weekend.

Bonuses

The Trait that “Super Friends” Have in Common – Marisa G. Franco

Tim Keller – a Reflection and a Very Short Prayer – Scotty Smith – Facebook

Photo Credit: Twitter, Terence Lester

[Here’s the full quote found in his forthcoming book, “All God’s Children” “Everyone is welcome” is drastically different from “we built this with you in mind.” People don’t want to go where they are merely tolerated, they want to go where they are included.”]

Photo Credit: The Soul Leaf, Facebook
Photo Credit: TobyMac, Facebook
All Good Gifts, Beauty of God's Creation, Christmas, Community, Critical Thinking, Crucifixion, Faithfulness, Family, Finishing Strong

Worship Wednesday – For All That You Have Done – Rend Collective

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Photo Credit: Pledgett

 

   

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. – James 1:17

Thanksgiving is here again. At least in the US. For us, it’s all about food, family, and football…but there’s also another element…faith. I am grateful every day for the kindnesses of God and those he’s placed in our lives. Celebrating Thanksgiving allows us to put an exclamation point on being grateful. It’s not just about a table full of food, although food is clearly a focal point. Thanksgiving, even as a national holiday and not a religious one, focuses our sight beyond ourselves. There is an object in Thanksgiving beyond ourselves.

Oh…just in case this Thanksgiving is a struggle…and it isn’t all happy family fun…I pray you take courage . I pray you can rein in your heart to remember that God sees you and loves you beyond your imagining. We can find blessing even in the struggle. You are a blessing to more than you realize…your taking the time right now to read these words is a blessing to me, and I hope right back at you.

Wish you were at our table…maybe one day you will be. You are definitely welcome at God’s table. There’s a place for you there, and I look forward to looking into those eyes of yours, and listening to all your stories. Or we can sit in the silence of His peace. As you like.

Worship with me to Rend Collective‘s “For All That You Have Done” to the melody of Auld Lang Syne:

Your grace will never be forgot
Your mercy all my life
Will be my source forever song
My story and my light

From mountain top to valley low
Through laughter and through tears
Surely the goodness of my God
Will follow all the years

For all that You have done for us
For every battle won
We’ll raise a song to bless Your heart
For all that you have done

You know our failures and regrets
You always led us home
Redemption’s arm has raised us up
Our triumph in the storm

For all that You have done for us
For every battle won
We’ll raise a song to bless Your heart
For all that you have done

(You’re faithful through the ages)

In unity we’ll stand as one
As family we’ll go
Shoulder to shoulder
Hand in hand
Into the great unknown

For all that You have done for us
For every battle won
We’ll raise a song to bless Your heart
For all that you have done*

*Lyrics to For All That You Have Done – Songwriters: Gareth Gilkeson, Chris Llewellyn

Thanksgiving in America – Family/Friends, Food, Football, Falling Asleep Following Football, Forever Grateful – Deb Mills Writer

Worship Wednesday – a Thanksgiving Moment – God’s Enduring Mercies – Deb Mills

Not Feeling the Thanks in Thanksgiving? – Jesse Lyn Stoner

Struggling Toward Thanksgiving – Trevin Wax

What Grieving People Wish You Knew at Christmas – Nancy Guthrie

YouTube Video – Thanksgiving Worship

An Exegetical Analysis of Psalm 107 – Jake Hanson

[If you’re too young to have seen the film/play “Godspell“, don’t miss this endearing song, in video below, about the goodness of our God. It portrays Jesus (in Superman shirt) and his disciples. I still get goosebumps listening to this song. Happy Thanksgiving, Friends and Family!]

Thanks for reading along and worshipping with me today.
All Good Gifts, Christmas, Conversations, creativity, Culture & Religion, Emotions, Fall, Family, God, Growing up, Jesus, Lives Full of God, Love, Memories, Mom, Mom and Dad, Music, Remembering, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Thanks Giver – Crowder Music

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Photo Credit: Facebook, Frances Moon

Always be joyful. Never stop praying. – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

It’s Fall, Y’all! My favorite season (here in the US). Now…as for holidays: my favorite holiday is Christmas followed by Thanksgiving, as a close second.

Family, family, family. That’s what it’s about for me. Those two holidays bring families together for all that comes with family gathering…the lovely, the crazy, and the memory-savoring and making.

Yet what brings us all together is the reason for those holidays: 1) celebrating the birth of Jesus, our Savior, and 2) thanks giving for all the good in our lives, Him being at the top of the list.

Most of us have an order to these celebrations – first Thanksgiving (US Thanksgiving) in November followed by Christmas in December. I try to keep that order, except for one thing.

Christmas music starts around here in October. Sacred and secular. There is just a wealth of music from so many years past and right up to latest releases this month. If you love the nostalgia of Christmas music and the richness of the lyrics of many of those songs, then you may be one of us (tuning to it much earlier than most).

Speaking of new releases (the topic of this blog today) is David Crowder‘s Milk & Cookies: A Merry Crowder Christmas.

Photo Credit: Nevin Martell, Open Table

This album has something for everyone. Quirky new songs about elves and Mrs. C. (which when you hear the song could also refer to Mrs. Crowder and not Mrs. Claus). Then you’ll hear some beautiful standards as only Crowder and friends can do them. Finally, included in the album, are original songs glorifying Christ and pointing us to all we have in Him. Powerful!

Photo Credit: K-LOVE, Pinterest

The album is unique in its production having an ethereal feel of a vinyl record, including some brief narration sounding like it could have come from a film like It’s a Wonderful Life.

So the track above is the first track on the album, but the one below fits the blending of Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s early, I get it…but don’t miss this album, and don’t miss the sweet messages of the song “Thanks Giver”.

Worship with me:

It’s getting cold
I’m driving home
On interstate 3-0

It’s getting cold
I’m driving home
On interstate 3-0

It’s getting cold
I’m driving home
On interstate 3-0

It’s getting cold
I’m driving home
On interstate 3-0
Mama’s calling, “Where you at?”
The turkey’s almost done
I hang up the phone, tear in my eye
Moments like these I realize
God You’re so good to me

You make joy out of simple and ordinary things
You fill life up with stories I’d never think to dream
So this holiday
I wanna praise
The One who’s making a saint
Out of this sinner
The One who’s turned me into this thanks giver

Just took the pumpkins off the porch
The wreath is on my door
There’s something sacred ’bout the time
Of year when You were born
The Street’s alive, it’s Christmas again
But moments like these, hope I don’t forget
God You’re so good to me

You make joy out of simple and ordinary things
You fill life up with stories I’d never think to dream
So this holiday
I wanna praise
The One who’s making a saint
Out of this sinner
The One who’s turned me into this thanks giver

Thank You for this life and all the joy that’s in this heart
For when I get to hug my dad and punch my brother in the arm
Thank You for the grace I know I’ll never have to earn
All because You chose to come down here and save this crazy world

You make joy out of simple and ordinary things
You fill life up with stories I’d never think to dream
So this holiday
I wanna praise
The One who’s making a saint
Out of this sinner
The One who’s turned me into this thanks giver

You’re the reason
You’re the reason
Why I’m a thanks giver

Photo Credit: Pinterest, Sonoma

You’re the reason
You’re the reason
Why I’m a thanks giver*

*Lyrics to Thanks Giver

Crowder Announces Holiday Album Milk and Cookies Out Oct. 21 – Abby Young

Crowder Releases ‘Milk & Cookies: A Merry Crowder Christmas’ – Ross Cluver