Tag Archives: Marie Kondo

5 Friday Faves – Truth, Leveling the Playing Field, the Best of Twitter, Spiderman, and Books as Art

Fridays seem to come so fast, that Faves get written late in the weekend…this one did anyway. Here they are finally:

1) Truth “What is truth?” This question was asked centuries ago by a Roman governor standing over an innocent man whom he himself believed was innocent. Pontius Pilate asked the question when pressed by the religious leaders of that day for a guilty verdict on Jesus Christ. Guilty of what? Guilty of whatever would get him executed and out of the way.

The question of what is truth? continues through the ages. Even for those who believe in the sanctity of Scripture, we become functional atheists if we don’t apply it to our understanding of God and to our very lives.

What Is Truth? – excellent read on truth (including philosophical and scientific perspectives)

A friend posted a Gallup poll this week on what Americans believe about the Bible. I don’t take polls seriously usually because they can so often be slanted depending on the polling intent and the sample selected. Still, this one gave pause.Photo Credit: Gallup

Record Few Americans Believe that the Bible Is the Literal Word of God – Lydia Saad, Gallup

The Bible continues to reportedly be the most read book in the world. What do we do with what we read? Most Read Books InfographicJared Fanning

I remain in the diminishing “light green” group from the Gallup poll above. God is certainly capable of protecting His recorded word through the ages. If I did begin to take parts as fable, moral precept alone or not literally… which parts? Keep the parts that treat me favorably? Willing to risk that God means for us to take it all to heart…and trust His goodness, fairness, and love for the mysteries.

Photo Credit: Heartlight

Why We Need the Truth More Than Ever – Matt Brown

2) Leveling the Playing Field– When an individual or organization acts to truly give opportunity to marginalized people, it is noteworthy. Anna Julia Cooper Episcopal School (AJCES) is one of those organizations. Named after a woman born into slavery, AJCES affords private education to over 100 middle schoolers.

PrivateSchools_AnnaJuliaCooperSchool1_COURTESY_rp0819.jpg

Photo Credit: Anna Julia Cooper Episcopal School

The parents pay a small annual admission fee and must commit to be involved in their children’s education (including parent/teacher conferences). The students are gifted scholarships for the tuition and fees throughout their middle school years.

Anna Julia Cooper received a scholarship herself to go to such a school. She would pursue graduate education and earned a doctorate during a time such degrees were never awarded to black women.

AJCES is a small school but hopes to double in size in next few years becoming a K-8 facility. A capital campaign is under way.

In the meantime, this school is a beacon of hope in a neighborhood that could use it. Read more about it in the article Leveling the Playing Field by Julinda Lewis.

Please give your own shout-out to a person or organization who is leveling the playing field for others (in Comments below).

3) The Best of Twitter – Twitter has its own downside like much of social media. I am really glad for what I have learned from others through their Tweets and my Twitter feed, in general. It’s worth enough that it crowds out the political hatred, mudslinging, and trash talk…so prominent on social media platforms (especially during election years) I’m staying for the best of Twitter, not the worst.

Two of my favorite Tweets of the week follow (this time both featuring the same person):

4) Spiderman – Finally watched Spiderman Homecoming on Amazon Prime. So good. I really like Tom Holland as Spiderman. The action and special effects were sensational, and the dialogue was fun and often funny. Now, however, the news is out that Spiderman films may be no more. Here’s what’s happening according to Chris Gates:

“Sources at Deadline claim that the partnership between Sony Pictures, which owns the film rights to Spider-Man and all associated characters, and Marvel Studios, which controls the rest of the MCU, has been terminated, effectively ending Peter Parker’s time as a member of both the Avengers and Marvel’s shared cinematic superhero universe.

The culprit, as always, is money. Disney was rumored to be pushing for a new deal that would have given the company a co-financing stake in future Spider-Man films. Sony refused to agree to the terms, effectively ending the deal that allowed Spider-Man to join Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, and other heroes on the silver screen.”

Photo Credit: Amazon

However, it may not be over yet, again from the above article:

“However things shake out, this isn’t the end of the current iteration of Spider-Man. Sony still has two Spider-Man films in development with Spider-Man: Homecoming and Far From Home director John Watts, both of which are expected to star current Spider-Man actor Tom Holland. In addition, Sony is pushing ahead with Spider-Man spinoffs, including Venom sequel, Jared Leto’s Morbius, and a bunch of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse-related projects.” – Chris Gates

Check out Beyond the Guitar‘s Marvel vs. DC Mashup. It includes Michael Giacchino‘s Spiderman: Homecoming theme (3:10 minutes in).

And this…from the hilarious Jeff Goldblum:

5) Books as Art – Finally a kindred spirit find related to decluttering. I have sometimes felt compelled to get rid of books, and I have. Still, there are some bookcases in our house that hold treasures.  Like the ones below. Dave has a collection of books on President Lincoln. We have books on the cultures where our family lived overseas. Various biographies, books on spiritual disciplines, homeschool classics, and children’s books. [You can see below that the children’s books come and go from their respective places as our oldest granddaughter pulls them out for our reading together.]

Books in our house say something about who we are and what (also who) we love. They’re organized loosely by category, for when I need a particular reference or re-read on a topic. They are on the ready to comfort or encourage or gently shake me out of a doldrum. Books, at least our books, are friendly and kind. No preaching or bearing down. Just a journey back to a familiar place…worth the keeping.

What got me thinking on this was the piece below where the author interviewed several authors about their book collections. Fun and fascinating read for those of us who love books, and for those who see them as clutter – a different side to that discussion. These are my people! Sweet read…don’t miss it.

Going Against the Decluttering Craze: the Book Hoarders Who Defy Marie KondoAmanda Long

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Bonuses:

PPFA (Planned Parenthood) Forfeits Family Planning Funds for Abortion – Tom Strode

End of summer cooling down enough for a fire pit – wish you could hear the crickets and frogs, smell the woody smoke, taste the roasted marshmallows, and see the stars in the night sky. Goodnight.

Monday Morning Moment – CDs Are So Yesterday…Or Are They? And Do They Tell a Cultural Story?

Yesterday, I had a strange cultural experience.

During a girl time with some great friends (all admittedly younger than me), I remembered an old CD collection that was headed out of my house to a favorite charity thrift shop.

A family member had shared them with me since we are big music enthusiasts. They previously belonged to her mom and dad who also loved music. These beloved parents have passed and she finally was letting the CDs go herself.

My family here chose CDs for their sound systems (not playing the CDs themselves but converting them to MP3s for their particular listening devices). This collection contained some sweet old classics – a wide genre of music. Fun to just look through…if you love music.

So here was the rub yesterday. Either my friends were not music enthusiasts at all – OR – they were put off by the stacks of CDs temporarily “cluttering” my dining room table. There was no rush right over to check it out. No, “Wow, let me see what you have.”

No curiosity.  No nostalgia. No “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Almost to a person, it was “Who even plays CDs any more!?” “I don’t think I know how to play them anymore.” “New cars don’t have CD players anymore.” “I’m getting rid of stuff!” “Why, when I can download whatever I want.”

Who knew?!

It turns out my offer was laughable. Thanks again, Marie Kondo.

I actually wasn’t offended. Just amused. Looking in on a culture I loved (well the beautiful women in that room, for sure)…from the outside.

‘Hipster Kryptonite’: Will CDs Ever Have a Resurgence?” – Jumi Akinfenwa

I remember when CDs replaced vinyl records…no, sorry, that demise happened earlier. CDs replaced cassette tapes. Now, that was my season as a girl. Djs at dances with silos of cassette tapes ready to make an evening magical. Friends making cassette tapes for each other of songs we captured off the radio. Fun times!

[Before cassette tapes, I remember my big brother practicing dancing with me before the prom one year with his vinyl records that I was forbidden to touch.]

Anyway…wonderful memories of each medium for playing music.

Dave, my music lover husband, is a slow adopter. Cautious. He finally packed up his vinyl records and built an amazing CD collection…and then we went overseas… He let go of that collection as we downsized our lives. I thought he was so brave.

The Life and Times of the Late, Great CD

Of course, in time, a new collection was birthed. All kinds of music, between his likes and mine, and growing children with different interests altogether.

If someone brought a box of CDs into the room and offered them up, I would have walked over, just to see what was there. Just to share in the experience. What in that collection was once loved by someone else? What did the CD liner notes include? What treasure might I take as a gift and figure out how to play and convert it – for an even longer season of its musical loveliness?

Different generation. Lovely generation. With far less “baggage” than my own.

Anyway, hope this made you smile. Based on my friends’ rejection of yesterday’s CDs, I’m thinking they aren’t just yesterday, or last week…but extinct! Unlike with vinyl record collectors, we may not see a revival of CD owners. However, one can’t predict. Whether there is anything to play them on or not, they make very tiny art pieces reminding us of the music of an era…past but pretty perfect.Photo Credit: Instagram, @kttaekey, also from the piece below by Hussein Kesvani

P.S. Two old souls among my young friends did take advantage of my re-gifting. Maybe for their mothers…Enjoy!

CDs Are Dead!…or Are They? – Bobby Owsinski

The Youths Are Bringing CDs Back – Hussein Kesvani

Monday Morning Moment – the Hobbit Life – a 30-Day Journey

Photo Credit: Flickr

Monday mornings can start so well and then sort of spiral. This was that sort of Monday around here. So much stress – with tough news, tight deadlines, and too much time in my own head…

Then a lovely idea…sparked by Tea with Tolkien (a Twitter account I follow)…lifted my spirit and cleared my mind. 30 Days to a Hobbit Heart. The focus of these 30 days is “slowing down, choosing simple joys, and forming new hobbity habits together”.

At the top of my movie list are The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (LOTR) and The Hobbit – both from the pen of British author J. R. R. Tolkien. Tolkien’s stories are of great adventures, loyal friendships, and battles for good against evil. The music from these films does justice to the stories. [Sidebar: Two songs from above film series inspired Nathan at Beyond the Guitar to arrange and perform them – here and here.]

I signed up for the 30-day journey. Let me know if you do, and we’ll do it together. The guide for the 30 days is actually a simple checklist of how to order your day in a hobbity way. [I want to say that word at least a few more times.] Suggestions include less screen time (of course), more time outside, more time with friends, simple suppers, second breakfasts, and time for walks, reading, and writing.[Just a bit of my husband’s garden which he makes hobbity time for]

Where do we find the time for these habits of life? If there is room for all that Marie Kondo requires in minimizing our stuff, then there is room for Tolkien’s ideas of reshaping how we spend our time…and with whom.

One of the suggestions is actually reading some of Tolkien’s letters. I’ve already begun today. It was thrilling to read in one letter (#47) how he was nearly finished with the sequel to The Hobbit. He mentioned how it would be a much longer story (The Lord of the Rings) but that the reader would not be disappointed.

Author Cam Clark describes how being familiar with The Hobbit Life actually made him a better person. He talks about how hobbits value the simpler things of life – friends, food, and stories. He also points to two characteristics that distinguish them from folks of our era. They are 1) not beleaguered by status anxiety (fearing have a lower status than others), and 2) they are more technophobic (whereas the villains of Tolkien’s LOTR were advanced in their weaponry). Hobbity people today would not be so bothered by pursuing status, and they would incline toward being less attached to their devices.

So there you have it…this little distraction brightened my day and altered my perspective. Looking forward to the 30-day journey to  wherever this hobbit life idea takes me.

By the way, the tough news and tight deadlines are still there…I’m just differently engaged…hopefully in a better way.

The Hobbit Life: How The Lord of the Rings Helped Me Become a Better Person – Cam Clark

7 Habits of Highly Effective Hobbits – Alex Knapp

A Day in the Life of a Hobbit – Alice

My Own Shire- Living a Hobbit Life in the Modern World – Arwen

Tea With Tolkien

Tolkien the Film

Monday Morning Moment – the Cultural Phenomenon of Decluttering Stuff and Disposing of Relationships – the Marie Kondo Effect

Photo Credit: Lucy and Claudia

[Starting with Marie Kondo but not staying there, so for those not a fan, hang with me a few minutes.]

Marie Kondo is a petite and lovely Japanese decluttering guru. Her book and Netflix TV show Tidying Up are based on her KonMarie method of organizing one’s home. Such that joy is sparked. She ascribes to the Shinto belief that cleanliness is essential to a good life. In Kondo’s thinking, disposing of everything in your home that doesn’t spark joy brings an order and spiritual calm you wouldn’t have otherwise.

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing  – Marie Kondo

YouTube Video – 10 Amazing Tips for Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (the KonMarie Method)

Shintoism: How It Influenced the Lives of the Japanese – Saki Yoshida

The Hidden Religious Promise Behind Marie Kondo’s Decluttering ‘Magic’ – Karen Swallow Prior

Because of the popularity of the KonMarie decluttering method (and other similar approaches), homes (in the West anyway) have less stuff and more open spaces. These are great days to shop in thrift stores because they are full of higher end clothing, antiques, memorabilia, and the nearly new impulse buys of the minimizing upper middle class.

This decluttering can be a good thing because it is visually refreshing and potentially allows for a greater enjoyment of the stuff we do have in our home. The problem comes when we indiscriminately toss items just because they don’t spark joy (joy being a tall order coming from material things). It sets in motion a wider worldview on what is disposable in life. What should be cut out of our lives (possessions) or cut off from our lives (people)?

In this culture of trending decluttering and downsizing, we must beware that the freedom we feel in letting go of things can transfer into an ease in letting go of people. Intentionally, ruthlessly letting go of people…maybe without even being aware we’ve changed along with our homes.

– Cutting off family and friends in the insatiable pursuit of joy –

There are always consequences in decluttering, disposing, letting go …and for sure in cutting off relationships with people.Photo Credit: Haiku Deck

You might say that some people don’t deserve further access to your life – they are complicated or difficult (even abusive). [I am all for getting help and setting boundaries when necessary…especially in the face of abuse.] It’s the cutting off of relationships that feels like it alters who we are as people, set in families, in particular.

My older brother, Robert, experienced enormous loss in his life. Because of all the losses and setbacks, he developed thick skin and a tough heart. He was hard on all of us who loved him. Brutally hard sometimes. There were plenty of occasions I could have walked away from him and not looked back. Fortunately, we had a mom who loved us all well, even when her oldest treated her as he treated us. Also, fortunately, I had two friends who kept counseling me to look beyond the contentiousness and mean words to what was going on inside him. “Hurt people hurt people” they would tell me. I finally came to the place where I didn’t react when he tried to push emotional buttons that would always end in sibling fights and walk-outs. My two younger brothers and I determined together not to get baited and to try to lean in, in love. It wasn’t long at all until he changed – almost as if he woke out of a long and terrible dream. He remembered he loved us and that we loved him.

I thank God that I didn’t cut him off. He died at a young 61, and those last years of being his sister were sweet. Those years were full of joy actually. Worth the wait…and the willingness to give up my own way.

We have all probably had the experience of drifting from relationships, of neglecting friendships, of just not showing up emotionally or physically.

This is part of the imperfect nature of life. What bears examination is the very intentional, thought-out cutting off people from our lives.

“Does it spark joy?” is the question Marie Kondo asks the person deciding whether to keep something or dispose of it.

“Make sure everything you keep sparks joy.” “Unless something makes you happy in your life, why would you hang onto it?”Tidying Up

“Does it spark joy?” Is the Wrong Decluttering Question – Joshua Becker

Beware of the worldview that decluttering leads to joy, because where, then, does it stop?

One writer goes as far as saying out right: “When you are confronted with people who do not bring joy to your life… it’s 100% okay to toss them out of it.”

There is so much being written about how to “Marie Kondo” relationships we perceive as toxic or at the least annoying and joyless. I chose not to link to those in today’s piece.

One really helpful article, though, about the reasons we cut off family members can bring real insight into why we rationalize such a decision:

10 Reasons Why People Get Cut Off From Their Family Dr. Barbara Greenberg

Click on the link and read Dr. Greenberg’s analysis on cutting off family and why we should think it through again. In brief, here are her 10 reasons people make this choice:

  1. Modeling
  2. Power and Control
  3. Exhaustion
  4. Rewriting Narratives
  5. Loyalty
  6. Perceived Slights
  7. Money
  8. Caring for Elderly or Sick Parents
  9. Abuse
  10. Lack of Elasticity

It’s just something I’m thinking about this Monday morning.

People are not stuff. They are made in the image of God. They matter, even with all their cluttered baggage, this side of Heaven. They aren’t disposable. Who we become across our lifetime is framed by those in our family and among our friends…who don’t always spark joy…nor do we.

I welcome your thoughts…in the Comments below.

The Hidden Religious Promise Behind Marie Kondo’s Decluttering ‘Magic’ – Karen Swallow Prior

Our Disposable Culture Means We Toss Relationships As Quickly as We Throw Away Objects – Charlie Sorrel

The Real Reason Marie Kondo’s Life-Changing Magic Doesn’t Work for Parents – Tanya C. Snyder

‘Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” Isn’t Really a Make-0ver Show – Sarah Archer

Clean House, Full Thrift Stores: How Marie Kondo Inspired Mass Decluttering and Donating – Mary Ellen Wright

What Japan Can Teach America About Family Caregiving – Barry J. Jacobs

350 Family Quotes – Wisdom Quotes

5 Friday Faves – Marvel vs. DC Comics, Answering Your Email, Healing After Divorce, Recognizing Domestic Violence, and a Life Well-lived

Friday has come and gone this week…and as you read, you will see how it might have taken longer to wrap my mind around these.  Hope you’re doing well and taking each day as the colossal gift it is.

1) Marvel vs. DC Comics – This week, classical guitarist Nathan Mills arranged and performed a mashup/medley of movie themes from the Marvel  and DC Comics  franchises. The melodies are beautiful and powerfully reminiscent of the superheroes they bring to mind.

Beyond the Guitar

2) Answering Your Email –My favorite organizational psychologist, Adam Grant, wrote an excellent piece on timely response to email: “No You Can’t Ignore Email. It’s Rude.”

Photo Credit: Flickr

Email can be overwhelming and time-consuming, but not answering it communicates a lack of care for the person on the other end…and could also reveal something about one’s character overall.

“When researchers compiled a huge database of the digital habits of teams at Microsoft, they found that the clearest warning sign of an ineffective manager was being slow to answer emails. Responding in a timely manner shows that you are conscientious — organized, dependable and hardworking. And that matters. In a comprehensive analysis of people in hundreds of occupations, conscientiousness was the single best personality predictor of job performance. (It turns out that people who are rude online tend to be rude offline, too.)” – Adam Grant

“Email is not household clutter and you’re not Marie Kondo. Ping!” – Adam Grant

3) Healing after Divorce – I’ve known Sarah since she was just a little girl. She was in a class I taught at church when she was 9. That little dreamy sparkling girl was always a delight. When she was still a teen, we moved away. She finished school and got married.

Two sweet children later, her Facebook page revealed the sad news of divorce. I was shocked. How could anyone walk away from this one? [Even after all these years, and too many divorces of people I love, it was still unbelievable to me.]

Sarah has always been one of these guileless, gloriously goofy girls who just lays life out there…and she did on Facebook. The goofy faded a bit…with the single mom reality of her life. Still I was glad to have news of her, even just on Facebook.

The deep hurt of betrayal and divorce no longer defines at least her public face. She is beautiful and joyful. I’m sure there is still hard but it seems outweighed by what’s good in her life now. Wonderful to see for those of us who love her.

With her permission, the following Facebook post tells a poignant and tender and hopeful part of her journey. Yay, Sarah!

With time comes reflection, with reflection comes growth. Today I am reminded of a time in my life that I honestly do not like to talk to many people about. A time I was my most broken. A time I never thought I would survive. When I was first divorced I felt so empty and hopeless. Trivial thoughts would run through my mind that would cripple me with depression. One specific thought that crippled me was, “I will never receive flowers ever again.” Looking back I laugh at such a trivial thing being so important to me at the time, but for some unknown reason this broke my heart. I remember the self-loathing and the self-hate talk I poured out onto myself as I told myself how much I was truly alone.
At this time I was allowing a single mom and kids use my bathroom, shower, and laundry when I was at work or whenever, because they had no bathroom that worked in their home.
Nightly, I would come home and fall on my face at the front door and lay there crying and mourning a lost relationship. I was so tired of the daily dance of faking being the upbeat Sarah that was o.k. (which I honestly sucked at). Many a night I remember lying there at the front door with snot, tears, and hiccups, wiping my eyes, feeling sorry for myself about flowers. One night I remember looking up and noticing a dozen roses in a gorgeous vase sitting on my kitchen table. I then began to hysterically laugh at the irony of the situation.Photo Credit: Flickr
In my most brokenness God chose to show me in a funny way that He was real and present and the only constant in my life. No one had known I had these thoughts of never receiving flowers, and I did not know the single mom I allowed to use my bathroom was a florist.
Looking back now a few years later I see how God had me in His hands all along. I would not trade these experiences in my life with anyone because stories like this one and many others are what makes me who I am.Sarah Morgan LaDuke

4) Recognizing Domestic Violence – This has been a tough week. On Wednesday, we lost Dave’s father (after a massive stroke following years with Parkinson’s). Also on Wednesday, a woman, very dear to many in a community we still call home, died…killed at her workplace by her estranged husband.

I have known both Kelly and her husband for around 30 years. Now, most of those years, we lived overseas. Still, thanks to social media, occasional visits, and keeping up through mutual friends…we thought we knew them…as happily married with a beautiful family and adorable grandchildren being added.

The “happily married” is hard to know for any of us…but to come to the place that one spouse would kill the other…devastating all those children…those grands…a whole community of people…how does that happen?

Unseen.Photo Credit: Kelly Sterling, Facebook

My early childhood years were marked by a neglectful father, but not an abusive one. As an adult there were times that I suspected abuse in the lives of people I loved. It’s very risky to get to the heart of such a situation. You can lose a friend. You could possibly escalate the situation. You could be wrong. Or terribly, horribly right.

I have no answers here for myself or others. Just sadness over Kelly and all who love her. Sadness also for those in-laws who are living this nightmare too…for the friends and coworkers tormented by “Could we have done more?”

That question is never satisfied… The one thing we can do for sure is be a safe place for that person…After that, we can keep learning about domestic violence, keep listening to those in our lives, and lean in wherever we can…wherever we are allowed.

Kelly, you are so loved and we will do what we can to help your family heal and to learn from your life.

Domestic Violence Against Women; Recognizing Patterns, Seek Help – Mayo Clinic

Support a Friend or Family Member Experiencing Domestic Abuse

5) A Life Well-Lived – John Mills is my husband’s dad. For the last several years, he has battled with Parkinson’s. Julia, his wife of over 60 years, was his wingman and first mate. Over quite some time, she and he have lived faithfully “in sickness and in health”.

This week, as I mentioned above, John died. Not of Parkinson’s as we had feared he would…but of a massive stroke. He lived one week after the stroke. Julia brought him home and we all cared for him with her. Just for those days, after she had done the caring for much longer. It was hard seeing him so helpless after knowing him strong for all the years before Parkinson’s.

We all hope to finish strong…to live a life worthy of the years we’re given. John lived well. He didn’t require a lot. He worked hard for his family because it was what men are to do. He was a quiet man; an elegant man; a gentle man. He cared deeply about things. God. His family. His country. He had no ambition for center stage or the head of the table. His integrity, dependability, and goodness placed him in leadership, but he never strove to be a leader. He would be just as happy out in the woods with his rabbit dogs, or fishing on the Chesapeake Bay, or picking summer vegetables or flowers for Julia.

Marrying into the family, I learned something of these simple pleasures from John…as well as how to love long over a lifetime, and how to wait patiently for what comes next…To be honest, I’m still learning. He, however, has finished…well.

How can some of these be my faves for the week? Well…they are here because I wanted to mark them…those hard passings shaped this week more than anything else…and will for some time to come. They are where my head and heart are today. Hope your weekend was a sweet one…lean in whenever you can.

Bonuses [Because I missed last week’s Friday Faves because of travel, you will find bonuses also on the NFL and on abortion from previous weeks]:

Photo Credit: Gregg Swanson, Facebook

Starting Your Day on the Internet Is Damaging Your Brain – Srinivas Rao

Dr. Ross Greene, Educating Kids Who Haven Been Traumatized – Cissy White

Patrick Mahomes’ MVP Highlights the NFL Honors Awards – James Brady

Black History Month

Photo Credit: Facebook, Tymm Hoffman

Article in Harvard Law Journal concludes: The preborn child is a constitutional person

 

 

Photo Credit: Kirsten Hill Schueler, GSBC Women [Phone Lockscreen]