5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar’s “Superman”, Rachel Haack on Hope in Family Estrangement, Illuminators – How to Know a Person, 30 Habits with Massive Returns on Life, 45 Life Lessons

1) Beyond the Guitar’s “Superman” – John Murphy composed the stunning soundtrack for the 2025 big-screen edition of “Superman”. His treatment of the iconic theme (originally composed by John Williams) is absolutely gorgeous. Listen to his version of “Raising the Flag” here.

Photo Credit: YouTube

Then…sit back and listen to Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar perform his arrangement of this incredible theme on classical guitar. One instrument. Played with the heart and skill of a musician who does beautiful justice to a magnificent orchestral piece of work. So good!

    2) Rachel Haack on Hope in Family Estrangement – Whether we are in the midst of a family estrangement or we know someone estranged from family members, it’s safe to say that none of us are untouched by family estrangement. It seems a part, an accepted part of our culture today. I just saw the Instagram reel below on therapist Rachel Haack’s page. It gave me hope – hearing sanity in what feels like a crazy hard relational world.

    [Rachel Haack and her family – 5 girls and her husband – Facebook]

    Instagram – Reel describing Rachel Haack’s bold prescription to replace the family member descriptors of “emotionally immature, boomer, toxic, dehumanizaion” with the actions/goals of “respect, compassion, understanding, and collaboration”.

    Setting boundaries in painful relationships may feel like a necessary safety maneuver, but too often those boundaries become deadends. No way forward really and the years go by. I so appreciate Haack’s measured and gentle approach to reconciliation in difficult family situations. Below are excellent resources, including one podcast with Joshua Coleman, author of Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the Conflict.

    We’ve Been Subverted and It’s Showing Up in Our Families – Rachel Haack

    When Grandparents Get Cancelled and What to Do About It – YouTube

    Building Healthy Relationships with Adult Children – with Rachel Haack (Audio file)

    Rachel Haack on Facebook

    What’s Behind the Rise of Parent-Child Estrangement? – Podcast With Joshua Coleman

    3) lluminators – How to Know a Person – I bought this book “How to Know a Person” after reading author David Brooks‘ guest blog on Ann Voskamp‘s website (linked below).

    How to Know a Person – and See Them with Jesus’s Eyes – Ann Voskamp – Guest Contributor: David Brooks

    I’m not sure if it was after the 9/11 attacks or exactly when the cultural phenomenon began, but people seem not to look in people’s faces so much. There’s a disinterest, or lack of curiosity, or maybe even guarding. We feel it might be intrusive to ask questions, and for sure there are unhelpful questions. However, to be truly curious about someone, to want to know someone deeply, is a beautiful and honoring thing.

    Below you will find two quotes from Brooks’ book. In the blog above and the book as well, he talks about being illuminators. Shining a light on someone. Not in an negative, exposing way but in a way that draws out who they really are and how amazing they are.

    “When you’re practicing Illuminationism, you’re offering a gaze that says, “I want to get to know you and be known by you.” It’s a gaze that positively answers the question everybody is unconsciously asking themselves when they meet you: “Am I a person to you? Do you care about me? Am I a priority for you?” The answers to those questions are conveyed in your gaze before they are conveyed by your words. It’s a gaze that radiates respect. It’s a gaze that says that every person I meet is unique, unrepeatable, and, yes, superior to me in some way. Every person I meet is fascinating on some topic. If I approach you in this respectful way, I’ll know that you are not a puzzle that can be solved but a mystery that can never be gotten to the bottom of. I’ll do you the honor of suspending judgment and letting you be as you are.”How To Know a Person – The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen – David Brooks

    “The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; knowing how to let someone down without breaking their heart; knowing how to sit with someone who is suffering; knowing how to host a gathering where everyone feels embraced; knowing how to see things from another’s point of view.”How To Know a Person – The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen – David Brooks

    Brooks talks about being a witness, about giving attention. I love that!

    He reminds me of psychiatrist Curt Thompson MD who writes and often talks about compassion and curiosity. I’ve written lots about Curt and his wisdom on mental and relational health. He, like David Brooks, encourages us to give our attention to those around us. It’s part of the beauty of life.

    How to Know a Person Quotes – David Brooks – Goodreads

    4) 30 Habits with Massive Returns in Life – I’m all about habit formation. Not saying I’m great at developing healthy habits, but I love the science of habits including New Year’s resolutions. Author Justin Whitmel Earley has written two excellent books on habit formation and a third for children (on sibling relationships) entitled The Big Mess. Earley’s websites (The Common Rule and Habits of the Household) have great free resources as well on habit formation. For today’s Friday Fave, I’m just posting this little graphic on 30 habits with big returns…how many have you already formed? It’s not a race though…choose a habit and begin there.

    Photo Credit: Nikz Bennie, Facebook

    5) 45 Life Lessons – Here is another list, not of habits but life lessons. They are written by author and cancer survivor Regina Brett of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio, and have been widely reprinted.

    “To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

    Here is the column once more:

    1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

    2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

    3. Life is too short – enjoy it.

    4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

    5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

    6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

    7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

    8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

    9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

    10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

    11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

    12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

    13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

    14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

    15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, but don’t worry, God never blinks.

    16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

    17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

    18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

    19.. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.

    20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

    21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

    22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

    23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

    24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

    25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

    26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’

    27. Always choose life.

    28. Forgive.

    29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

    30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

    31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

    32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

    33. Believe in miracles.

    34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

    35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

    36. Growing old beats the alternative of dying young.

    37. Your children get only one childhood.

    38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

    39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

    40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

    41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you need.

    42. The best is yet to come…

    43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

    44. Yield.

    45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.” – Facebook

    Post in Comments any lessons that you particularly appreciate.

    45 Life Lessons Written by a ’90-year-old” Woman That’ll Put Everything Into Perspective – Stephanie Wong

    Pinterest Variations on These Life Lessons

    Bonuses:

    Instagram – Reel – Jonathan Haidt on slow Dopamine – holding off social media – see his caption screenshot below. [Also below is the full podcast on this topic – Dr. Haidt starts at 8:14.]

    Instagram – 3 Days Off Smartphones and How Our Brains Are Affected – Doc Amen

    2 thoughts on “5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar’s “Superman”, Rachel Haack on Hope in Family Estrangement, Illuminators – How to Know a Person, 30 Habits with Massive Returns on Life, 45 Life Lessons”

    1. You “hit it out of the ballpark” on this Friday Fave entry! My favorites:

      – Therapist Intern, Rachel Haack, on Family Estrangement

      – David Brooks’ book on How to Know a Person

      – Bonus – Jonathan Haidt’s piece on explaining the addictive
      quality of social media on our brain (the neurotransmitter dopamine is involved) and how to mitigate it.

      Thank you!

      impacts “slow” dopamine

      1. Thanks for commenting, Lisa. I need myself to put into practice what brings “slow” dopamine. Appreciate you.

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