A few nights ago, we had a houseful of company. I was nervous about it. Not because of the children coming; for sure, they would love being here. It was the parents. These folks are some of the loveliest people we know, but our houses were very different. These were all young people who somehow knew intuitively how to decorate homes that looked straight out of magazines.
Do trips to Ikea help?
Anyway, I was nervous that our home, our “style”, would seem tired to them. As they piled in that evening, with hugs and laughter, kids heading straight to our own grandchildren’s playroom, my fretting abated. These precious ones were all the ages of our children; we loved them, and they loved us.
Then, it happened. One of the girls, who is style personified, commented out loud, “This is a grandma’s house.” I’m pretty sure she meant it as a compliment, but it stirred a little chagrin in me… It’s true. No way around it. This IS a grandma’s house. Vintage. Family pictures everywhere. Memorabilia. A china cabinet full of antique glassware from my mama…my children’s grandma.
Home Decor that Screams “Granny Chic”
Then in a moment, my troubled thoughts cleared as fast as they had come.
I am a grandma and this is my house. It is comfortable and all are welcome. Countless long talks have been had on that old sofa and chair set. Tears shed and joys reclaimed. Family reminiscing at the dining room table. Stories. Stories. Stories. Children doing their best to out-silly each other, for their own and their grownups’ entertainment. Good food. Good times. Good memories made.
Our kids, all in their 30s now, have sweet memories of their grandparents’ homes. They still have one living, and MomMom’s home is definitely and beautifully a “grandma’s house” – a place that pulls us in with a big hug of welcome. With a bounty of baked goods, candy dishes full to overflowing, and the promise of coffee, iced tea, hot chocolate, or mulled cider – depending on the season. Picture albums that go back decades and decor that changes through the year, celebrating every holiday. A feast for the senses.
That recent evening with my young family friends marked a change in my sensibilities. I hope to embrace the fact that our parents felt the sting of the Great Depression and, because of that, it had a huge impact on my life as well. Our parents taught us to spend money carefully, hold onto things (“you might need it later”), fix what gets broken, and treasure keepsakes of past generations. And so it goes.
Maybe we’ll paint the oak cabinets, and maybe we won’t. Maybe, we will update our furniture, and maybe we won’t. Hard to say…but I’m not going to feel bad about it. That’s just foolish really.
Unlike our children and probably grandchildren coming up, I’m more a maximalist than minimalist, more vintage than modern, more cluttered than orderly (sigh), and preferential toward brighter colors than earth tones [Joanne Friedrich]. Our married children, like our young friends, have beautiful easy-on-the-eye homes…different than mine. We are different generations, and that’s completely okay.
David Marine, a marketing officer for a large real estate company, wrote the sweetest piece on “grandma’s house”:
“As a kid, it was a magical place with cabinets full of treats and a freezer that was apparently stocked year round with ice cream. Food tends to be a central theme when it comes to Grandma’s house. I remember my grandma would make me whatever I wanted for dinner, and she would always have a special treat that involved some kind of mixture of confectionery delights.
It’s a place full of love. It’s where getting spoiled rotten is a way of life. It’s where you look at those photos on the wall or on top of that coffee table that seem to cover the course of the better part of a century.
My kids love Grandma’s house. It has special toys and snacks that they don’t get a home. There are juice boxes and candies that are rare in other parts of the planet they have seen but seem to be plentiful in this small corner of the galaxy. On top of that my boys have the rare opportunity to also go to great-grandma’s house, the same place I visited at their age.
So what makes Grandma’s house so special? It’s simple. That’s where Grandma lives.” – David Marine
And with this house…you also get a sweet Papa in the bargain.
What Makes Grandma’s House So Special? – David Marine
11 Things That Instantly Remind You of Grandma’s House – Southern Living
I miss my Grandma’s house!!! Wish I could go there now. I know my grands love to visit grandma’s house and I hope they have memories like I do.
They will. I miss Mom’s house, too. Especially when she was in it. Love you!
I love coming to your house! It speaks of the hearts within. Don’t waste time wishing for other people’s visions. You have your own, a home of love and light.
Good word. Thanks, Karen. Not going to do that anymore. I am resolved. Appreciate you stopping by.
Love this!!
Thanks for stopping by, Brenda. Hope you are well. Sweet memories of times together with you.
I love this, Debbie! What a beautiful theme and all so true. Grandma’s house is unique and full of treasures and for sure all about how we feel when we are there. My parents’ house is one of my kids’ favorite destinations in the world, and it is most definitely not because of the furniture or decor!
As soon as I began reading, I was thinking, “oh, Debbie! Do you have any idea what I learned about hospitality from you in just a few short months??” The way I saw you open your home–use your home, really–taught me so much. I remember helping prepare for a last minute overnight guest at your house and thinking, “Wow, I can’t believe she can just take these few steps and get it done really quickly and then they’ll have a cozy room for the night!” There was never any stress on worry or focus on self when you did things like that.
Mostly I learned that hospitality was not about the dishes I could prepare or the trends my style reflected; I still have to remind myself that it’s not about me or what I can do or what I have at all! You were always happy to see me, always interested in my heart, and you made me feel AT HOME. This was huge for me at a time where I didn’t really have my own home and in a culture where hospitality was paramount. I have never forgotten that lesson – how I felt in that big house – and I continually try to follow that model.
I’m not surprised in the least that you are continuing to do the same thing, all these years later. Your company was blessed to be welcomed in and I’m sure they took away some of their own hospitality lessons as well.
Thank you for sharing this!
You are so dear, Blythe! I remember those days as well. You made it supremely easy for me. I loved how you never rushed away but settled in. The kids loved (love) you so much. Having you carve out a corner for yourself to read, journal, think, and savor. Was it coffee or tea? I can’t remember. You gave me such a gift in those days…you made our home feel like home to another. What a gift that was for me. You always have a home in my heart, Girl! Always!
I don’t always take time to stop in on Monday’s..but today I said I wonder how my sweet friend is doing… SO glad I did! What a wonderful tribute to all of us ….Granmama’s…( real spelling of my new name). Your house will always be a place of rest and love to Rick and me.. and I do remember your cleaning out the guest room at holidays so I could celebrate with my Bhutanese friends in RVA…always grateful for your hospitality! I now treasure a small playroom filled with little girl giggles exploring their mother’s blocks, dolls, and books. Let the legacy of old mixed with new live on…
Linda! Always great to have a touchpoint with you! I’m sure those little girls LOVE to spend time with their grandparents. So glad you made the decision to move closer to them. Love you and thank God for our season together.