I’ve been writing this in my head for over a month. Here goes.
For some time now, I’ve been seeing a cardiologist. Mostly about a couple of heart valves that aren’t functioning as well as they should. Then over the last several months, fatigue has been a strange companion for my usual high-energy self. I am told some of the fatigue relates to medications required for my cardiac situation, but lately a new issue arose that also apparently causes me to be tired. Premature ventricular contractions (PVCs). Sorry for all the medical stuff…just trying to give context.
After several other cardiologist visits and recommendations, it was decided a cardiac ablation would be the best course of action. Potentially highly effective with the outcome pushing out into the future my need for a valve replacement (open heart surgery). Highly effective with minimal complications.
The cardiac ablation doesn’t require general anesthesia nor a big incision. Essentially access to the heart is through a catheter threaded to a large vein, and the procedure doesn’t even require an over-night hospital stay usually. Still, in the days before coming in, I finally completed my advance life directive (just in case).
After leaving Dave in the waiting area, I was taken into the prep room and hooked up to monitors. The nurses started an IV and shortly after the sedation. I was surrounded by lovely hospital staff – all was well.
Complications – When I woke in recovery, it didn’t seem so well. Lots of action. Someone was putting lots of pressure where the IV catheter must have been inserted (I had already been sedated for that part). A blood transfusion was being ordered. I wasn’t going home.
The cardiologist who performed the ablation was up-beat as he described what happened. In preparation for the procedure, I was given blood thinners. At some point during the ablation, I had some bleeding (which was one of the listed possible complications). The blood loss was considerable enough to require transfusions. The cardiologist wanted me to be monitored overnight so I was admitted to the cardiac step-down unit.
At some point that evening, I needed to go to the restroom. Dave helped me, walking me from bed to toilet. Unfortunately, it turns out my blood pressure was low enough, because of the blood loss, that I got faint and ended up passing out. Fortunately, Dave broke my fall, and with his and the nurse’s help I got back to the bed without incident.
Why all these details? It has made me think more deeply on the toll of waiting and watching on the person at the bedside. He would tell me later about watching the monitors and seeing my blood pressure and pulse registering lower than seemed safe. Once my pulse got down to 35, he related later.
Still…all was relatively well, thankfully.
The next day, my blood counts hadn’t recovered well enough so more fluids and another transfusion. Otherwise, it was a quiet day. Two of my grandchildren were being baptized in a couple of days, and I was not going to miss that, if at all possible.
Several blood sticks and nursing IV lines along left me with impressive bruises, but by the next morning, they discharged me, with all the precautions and appointments for follow-up. Praise the Lord!
Comfort – It is very difficult, almost impossible, for me to ask for help. Even with the fatigue of the past several months, I just chose to do less rather than to engage helpers. It is a character weakness, I know. Beautiful offers to help abounded, and I was grateful. The offers themselves were a comfort. As were all the prayers, texts, phone calls, visits, notes/cards, flowers, and food. There was also a quietness in my heart that I recognized as the nearness of God Himself to a child not quite herself. Such unexpected and generous comfort… all of it.
Caregivers – Having been a cancer nurse for many years, I can’t say enough about caregivers. Those who put their own lives on hold for the sake of a loved one. Those who care professionally even for strangers. Hats off! Giving care is reflective of a loving God. It is part of who we are bearing His image.
In this season of heart issues, I have had much comfort and much care. It is a season I want to remember (thus this writing about it), especially as my strength is coming back and the fatigue is less (thanks to the ablation). My unseen Helper has been God, and the one I can reach out and touch has been Dave. His gentleness and servant heart aren’t a surprise, because he has shown up for many over the years – especially members of his family, those in need in our church community, and folks on his work teams. He is quiet and doesn’t draw attention to himself. For this moment, in the aftermath of this health issue, I just want to say thanks…thanks to all of you who have been such a comfort to me…and to God for bringing me through…and to Dave. Thank you, Sweet Friend and Husband.
P.S. All this heart stuff the last few years has been a struggle for me. It has tempted me to fear. Thanks to the ablation, the other heart surgeries that were in front of me have been pushed down the road. Who knows, I may not ever need them. If they do become inevitable, or some other health (or relational) crisis becomes an issue, I have (what Jackie Hill Perry talks about below) “history with God”. He will get us through whatever comes. Hallelujah!
Thank you for sharing this Deb. It can’t be easy to be still going through this. That itself gives you too much time to dwell and worry. So I pray that encouragement and promises are a source of comfort and remind you how loved you are. ❤️
I will take that prayer, Sandy! Thanks! Love you and I take courage at how you deal with the valleys you walk through. God is always with us.
Thank you for sharing your journey and how your unseen Caregiver provided for you with His presence and through the loving care of a committed husband and dedicated professionals. I know God was providing for your caregivers, especially your devoted husband, in those scary and worrisome moments. Your reflection of the past months is a beautiful testimony as to where our strength may come from and an encouragement to whom we should run. I’m thankful that you are doing better and hope that the future of your “physical” heart is procedure-free. What I do know is that from your heart flows words that encourage and challenge many. Thank you.
Sherri! Thanks so much for reach out. You always encourage me…and all those of us privileged to know you. Appreciate our friendship.
Deb, I’m thankful you came through the procedures and aftermath intact and able to return home. Yes, as a fellow writer, I know the importance of getting something down before it’s forgotten. Now you’ll be able to go back and rejoice all over again at God’s faithfulness and thank him for the love of those by your side. Praying for you, dear sister, as you continue to recover and gain strength.
Carol, thanks. You know. I am thankful to finally have it written down…and like you said, it gave me pause to rejoice again at His immeasurable grace. Appreciate your prayers.
We love you, Debbie. Grateful for God’s provision for you.
Thanks, Matt & Paige. I’m so thankful to be on the other side of this weeks. God always shows Himself faithful…if we look for Him, we find Him. Appreciate you.
Thanks for sharing your journey through all of this. Praying for you as you continue to walk this path. Thankful for Dave and others who have supported you and who continue in that role. Hugs, my friend.
Marge, thanks so much for reaching out. I know Roger was that kind of husband, and I know you miss him always. Glad for those who step up into that support role for you, as you need it. Appreciate you.
Hey, Debbie! It is Stephanie. 🙂 I have been sitting here with my youngest, listening to praise music, which then led me to thoughts of 09/10/2001 that then led me to Google for some information. Your blog showed up. 🙂 I am so happy you are OK, and Dave is still a great husband! 🙂 So many years have passed, but God has our years in His hands and provides! Hugs and love!
Oh, Debbie! I can’t thank you enough for sharing this, and for encasing it so eloquently in your beautiful words. I held it together okay as I read, until I got to the photo of Dave ???? Such dear, faithful, supportive friends and caregivers YOU two have been over the years to so many…and somehow I got to be on the receiving end of that care for a little while!
I rejoice with the good news you shared (baptisms!) and His ever present watch over you…and I just praise Him for the glory the two of you bring Him together.
I literally just told my daughter the other day about how you once told me, “don’t steal from me the blessing of blessing you”…or something like that. We were talking about her love language and being able to receive love from others. I’m not sure if I remember it right but I swear I can see you sitting with me in your Sfax living room, leaning in and saying, “allow me the blessing of helping you.” Wise words! ????
I’ll be praying! How I thank God for your beautiful heart.
Oh Blythe! You always fill my heart with joy. I think it was “Don’t rob me of the blessing of blessing you.” My mom used to always say that, so hopefully I got it from her. It is humbling to be on the receiving end of that. You blessed us way more than we could ever have blessed you. Always loving and speaking the truth to our kiddos, who somehow grew up into their 30s and you’re still their same age or younger. 🙂 So thankful for our times together – in N. Africa and in our brief sightings in the US. Love you forever!
Love you, friend. Today, tomorrow, always
Karen
Always and forever, Friend.
Happened to see Dave this afternoon and caught up on how you are doing. So sorry you had to go through all of that but your sharing will help others. Keep praising our Father for his faithfulness and love,
Brenda
Hey! He told me he saw you. How are YOU doing? I’m with you on praising the Lord. He is forever faithful.
May the Lord bless you and keep you! May you continue to rest in the arms of the Lord and allow Him to carry you through all the storms and challenges of this life. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
Thanks, Jonathan. Thanks also for sharing your story (God’s story) with us on Sunday. So powerful!