Tag Archives: Sisters

5 Friday Faves – Music that Soothes the Heart, God-shaped Racial Reconciliation, Brothers, Hospitality, and the Colors of Summer

Friday Faves! Here are mine for this week:

1) Music that Soothes the Heart – I don’t know how Nathan does it time after time. He takes that one classical guitar of his and he renders video game, TV, and movie themes into sounds so soulful you feel the healing just listening. I don’t even know the two video games The Last of Us (Part 1 and Part 2) or the anime TV series Naruto. These themes below, arranged and performed by Beyond the Guitar, are hauntingly beautiful. Thousands of folks have already viewed his YouTube videos, and their comments get me every time. More and more I see there’s something more to video games (and to anime)…in the stories and music, there is such a heart connection. It’s fascinating. The music, too…wow!

Did you also catch that Nathan is doing a podcast these days? I’m the mom and yet learn so much about him and his work through these (all adult children should consider doing this sort of thing, even if it’s just for their parents’ enjoyment).

2) God-shaped Racial Reconciliation – Just this week, I came across this video on Twitter. Watched the whole thing, with cold chills. I’m not going to give it all away, but you will be spellbound for the 40 minutes of story-telling of how Will Ford and Matt Lockett met and how their stories have connected for generations.

They tell of how God used a dream during sleep in each of their lives that set up a situation for them to meet. They also speak of Dr. King’s Dream Speech and how it was not only “poetic…but prophetic”.

Dream Stream Company – Will Ford and Matt Lockett

The Dream King: How the Dream of Martin Luther King, Jr. Is Being Fulfilled to Heal Racism in America – Will Ford and Matt Lockett

3) Brothers – I never had sisters and always wanted one. Fortunately, with three brothers, I have two sisters-in-law who have given me that sweet experience of sisters for life. [Another amazing sister-in-law thanks to my husband’s brother].

Now, back to my brothers. There are three.

One died too young, and we miss him. Our older brother, Robert, died of a “shredded aorta”. The surgeon who operated for hours to save his life told our family they were able to repair the aorta but couldn’t get him off bypass. He was just too tired.

Life was hard on my brother, Robert, twice divorced and struggling with health issues that diminished him. He coped by blaming the hard on others. His siblings took some of the brunt of it…his children and parents also. However, we learned especially from our mom’s example that loving him mattered. Two friends of mine, in separate conversations, gave me excellent advice: “Hurt people hurt people… deflect the attacks and lean in anyway.” I learned what the buttons were that Robert pushed for me and “deactivated” them. I wanted our relationship to survive. Somehow, when I didn’t react to his put-downs or temper outbursts, he just stopped trying to engage in that way. What if I had walked away and given up on him, on us. Thankfully, we had time…not as much as we would have liked, but time…to be close, to laugh over memories, to share the daily small victories, to long together for better days, to make plans for those days. I learned so much from him on dealing with challenge and not giving up. One day I will tell him.

My two “little brothers”, Dwane and Wade, have benefited from what we learned from our older brother. We three have always had strong opinions like our big brother, but less argumentative and more gentle. Now that our parents are gone, we hold together. I can’t imagine any disagreement ever separating us from each other. We are family and I am so thankful for them.

How about you?

Sometimes we lose a parent (or both) through divorce or death. We are with our siblings for most all of our lives. They help shape us for life.

My extended family lives states away. No travel yet for me but it’s coming. In the meantime, so thankful for phone calls with these brothers of mine. And social media, right? Thankful for every connection.

Let’s celebrate our families while we have them. None are perfect. Some are exceptionally difficult. We have much to learn – from our original families – to live well in our own next families…and to love well, even through the hard.

4) Hospitality – What’s wrong with this picture? No people.

This room is the least used in our house during this season of COVID-19. Before this Spring, our living room was hopping with friend visits, mid-week small groups from church, work friends, neighbors, and our children and grandchildren. Those visits have mostly moved outside with the social distancing mandates.

I miss our usual hospitality. Now it requires more creativity and less people. The noise of hospitality is missing, as well as the bounty of it. At the start of COVID-19 restrictions, I was all about writing cards, doing drive-by visits, making videos of reading picture books and posting them to Google Drive for our grandchildren, reconstructing how we celebrate birthdays and holidays.

Four months in, I put away my card box. No more books on Google Drive. It feels like we’re heading into a longer “hunker down” than we imagined. For now, I’m taking a breather…but not for too long.Photo Credit: Pinterest, Source Unknown

As my husband is watching a NFL game from 2019 on TV (Tennessee Titans vs. Kansas City Chiefs), I’m hoping we’re in half-time on this whole COVID thing. Great game, if you didn’t see it (and if you’re a Titans fan!).

Hospitality in the usual is missing for some of us (social distancing being at-risk) and we miss it. So thankful for you out there who have taken hospitality to a whole new normal and haven’t missed a beat. I’m getting ready to join you!

5) Colors of Summer – No words necessary. Enjoy the colors:

Hope your weekend is filled with sweet times and near loved ones (even if it has to be six feet apart).

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 Bonuses:

Photo Credit: World Health Organization, Facebook

Matthew McConaughey Discusses racism and ‘White Allergies’ in Interview with Former Longhorns Star Emmanuel Acho – R. J. Marquez

Let America Be America Again – Langston Hughes

I’m a Black Millennial – Here are three ways we can improve race relations

How to Achieve Your Goals By Creating an Enemy – Nir Eyal

Camping ResurgenceThe 18 New Rules of Camping

Elaboration on Why Monuments Should Come Down – Rayshawn Graves

Atlanta is the city of my birth. This was a fascinating infographic. I’d love to find one for our current home, Richmond, Virginia.Photo Credit: Twitter, Everything Georgia, Entymology Nerd

Shared Memories – On Family with a Grateful Nod to the Story-telling of Downton Abbey

Blog - Downton Abbey - Shared memories - vanity fairPhoto Credit: Vanity Fair

Shared memories…those places, friendships, events, emotions, experiences, and impressions known intimately by that little circle called family of origin. Notwithstanding, shared memories can also be the property of life-long friends or even a happenstance experience of strangers. Still I am enthralled by the great legacy of shared memories – some shimmering with joy and some we wish forgotten – both binding us together as family.

What a blessing are the in-law family members added to the fold! Those who listen with interest or at least value that bond – as dinner conversation is hijacked by memories of growing up together. What a gift that arena is where shared memories are rehearsed and celebrated…one. more. time.

For those reading not Downton Abbey fans, don’t miss this lesson on family life. Mary and Edith are adult sisters (missing the youngest, Sybil, whose sweetness had knit the other two together, before her untimely death). Their relationship is not close, to say the least, and their actions have, at times, been brutally hurtful toward each other.

In the next-to-last episode of the final season of Downton Abbey, Mary’s venomous words cut deep again, seemingly destroying once again Edith’s prospect for happiness. Then in a turn of the story, (spoiler alert), Mary accepts the proposal of Henry, and they prepare to wed days later.

Enter Edith…as we watch enrapt. What next between these two?

Sarene Leeds, of the Wall Street Journal, recaps this bit of the episode:

“By the time of Mary’s wedding day, Edith has cooled off enough to not only attend the nuptials, but take the high road when it comes to her relationship with her sister. She hasn’t gotten over what Mary did, but family remains paramount to her:

“In the end, you’re my sister,” Edith tells Mary. “And one day, only we will remember Sybil. Or Mama or Papa, or Matthew or Michael or Granny or Carson or any of the others who have peopled our youth. Until at last, our shared memories will mean more than our mutual dislike.”

Blog - Downton Abbey - Shared memories - pinterestPhoto Credit: Pinterest.com

“Only we will remember…” How powerful that is! Not in an exclusive, “none others welcomed” sort of way…but in a high value, meant to be treasured way.

I think of our children – spending their pre-school years in eastern Tennessee, then living the rest of their childhood in North Africa. What they missed and what they gained…in this somewhat nomadic life with all the hellos and goodbyes…is their shared experience.

We also share it with them…for which I am beyond grateful…and out of which I can be, at times, this mama who clings a bit to them…not as much to the memories as to the ones who soldiered with us through that life. We know each other in that shared memory way.Blog - Running into His Marvelous Light2006 May -- Oualidia weekend 1522006 May -- Oualidia weekend 116 - Copy

They remember all the moves, the beauty of those places, and all the wonderful friendships in each place. They understand God’s grace in that. In some ways, as expats in countries not our own, we grew up together.

They remember the sweet times with family back in the States…and the growing up together (through too occasional visits but deep belonging). Blog - Shared Memories - OcracokeBlog - Shared Memories - Ocracoke 2013 (2)

They remember their grandmother, my mom, who died too early. They remember how much she loved them (I hope); for sure they remember the woman she was.Blog - MomIMG_0023 (2)Blog - Shared memories - Mom and Christie

So many shared memories include other loved ones who are no longer here (cousin Chad and their Uncle Robert)…and births, graduations, weddings, life accomplishments and disappointments…and on it goes.

My hope and prayer, like with Edith’s wonderful lines from Downton, is that, as adult life fills with relationships and experiences less-shared, we return regularly to the bonds of shared memories…including making new ones together. Edith returned to her childhood home to witness her sister Mary’s wedding…as hard as it was for her; it mattered.

You may be in the throes of change in your life that you can’t stop. A looming divorce, a frightening illness, a company down-sizing – where loss of history, situation, or relationship are all too present. Shared memories cannot be destroyed in community – they may feel altered by present circumstance, but they don’t have to be. Our memories belong to us.

My dad has Alzheimer’s. His memories are diminished now. When we visit, we remind him of stories that bring joy to his heart. We look at photo albums and remember together those faces who love him. We, his children, keep his memories for him. Such a privilege for us.Blog - Dad - Alzheimers - Feb 2016

What a great legacy we have with each other – this life we shared…this life we share.Blog - Shared Memories - egypt (2)