Tag Archives: challenges

Another Birthday – Our Youngest – Grown and On His Own

Baby pics of Dan 2

I look over at their pictures,
Sittin’ in their frames.
I see them as babies:
I guess that’ll never change.
You pray all their lives,
That someday they will find happiness.

Then they do, and that’s how it is.
It’s just quiet in the mornin’,
Can’t believe how much you miss,
All they do and all they did.
You want all the dreams they dreamed of to come true:
Then they do.  – Trace Adkins, Then They Do

We weren’t there for Daniel’s birth. He was half a world away in the care of hospital personnel. His entry into this world was a bit rough and he’s certainly had bumpy bits ever since. Yet, his courage and resilience then and now are part of who he is…this boy, now man.

Today is Daniel’s 26th birthday, and, on this quiet spring morning, he’s out walking with our neighbors. Home for this special weekend, he’s looking forward to Lebanese food for lunch and time with siblings later…more birthday celebration will follow in the days ahead, but for today, he spends it quietly…recovering his heart from a stressful week.

Daniel came home to us 25 years ago from South Korea. With each birthday, I think of his very young Korean mama who carried him but couldn’t keep him. She must mark this day with us every year, so far away. Thank you, Mama, for letting him live…when abortion was an easy and acceptable solution for your situation at that time.

Daniel has had challenges through life, related to his traumatic birth (premature with its various complications). During our adoption process, his case worker (who had visited him in Korea) talked about what a survivor he was…his personality was so winsome and his determination so strong. All growing up, Daniel wrestled with the hard things of his life with that determination and courage…and the love of a powerful God, imperfect parents and siblings with their own challenges. He has known the impact of much answered prayer on the part of his parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends. We are so proud of him and how much he has accomplished.

[This blog might be a bit awkward to a man in his “late twenties”, but if Daniel reads this, hopefully he will give grace to a mom who’s trying to find her way as well through this adult relationship of ours.]

Daniel, happy birthday, Son. We are so grateful to God that He brought you home to us. Even as you face what’s before you in the days ahead, we pray for you to have the courage and hope befitting of your age and life experience. You have seen God work in your life to bless you and others through you. You have known success and love…and you always will.

[Sidebar: If you know our Dan, you know he surrounds himself with music. His taste has changed through the years, and I won’t even give a try at identifying his favorite genres right now. It is definitely not country music. Still, in this early morning of his 26th, my heart toward him is in such a tender state, country music is all that will suffice.]

So…I just want to put up pictures and close with Mark Harris’ song Find Your Wings. Happy Birthday, Daniel. Love you forever.

It’s only for a moment
You are mine to hold; The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I’ll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I want to know
You’re walking in the truth

And if I never told you
I want you to know
That as I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh but more than memories

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It’s not living
If you don’t reach for the sky
I’ll have tears as you take off
But I’ll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I’m here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings – Mark Harris, Find Your Wings                       Dan & familyn7607486_31797847_6155[1]Little Dan swimmingDan in jelabaDan, Dad, NaeDan in the waterChristie and Dan cooking2006 -- Nov -- Heba & Daniel eating KosheryKids at oualadia 2Dan, Nae & sea urchinsKids on stairsNA -- Christie, Daniel, Nathan Mills2012 December family snapshot 014IMG_3193 - Copy2013 June Dan Birthday Welcome Home for Nae Bek a 034 (3)2013 June Dan Birthday Welcome Home for Nae Bek 037 (2)2014 Sep 26 Daniel's Graduation 058Blog - Daniel 2 (2)Blog - Christie, Nathan, DanielFind Your Wings
Lyrics to Trace Adkins’ Then They Do

Lyrics to Mark Harris’ Find Your Wings

YouTube Video – Find Your Wings by Mark Harris

50 Songs from Parent to Child

Country Songs About Growing Up

Songs for Growing Up (Another PlayList)

Rascal Flatts – My Wish for You – With Lyrics

8 Items for Christian Parents to Ponder

Photo Credits: Mine, except for pics from Daniel’s time in S. Korea (Children’s Home Society) – the woman in the picture with him was his foster mother who cared for him until he came home to us.

*Adapted from previous blog (here)

Life Skills – Stewardship of the Essential in the Workplace – 5 Helps

2014 July Blog pics 002

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.                      Proverbs 16:9

“He who believes in Me [Jesus], the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father.” John 14:12

5 Helps to Keep Essentials in Focus

1) Pray – do business with God on the issue of stewardship of work.

2) Re-visit your job description/annual goals. Do they match up?

3) Determine when you’re sharpest or freshest & guard that time.

4) Practice intentionality with meeting invites & other distractions.

5) Do what only you can do whenever possible.

Books, blogs, and experts abound in the field of leadership and workplace productivity. A challenge for me at work is the constant press of the urgent, and the seeming necessity of meetings upon meetings. I actually don’t really mind meetings; processing in group is my method of choice for information-sharing and developing strategies. Yet, there are those colleagues of ours whom we depend on for deep thinking and creative planning and who need time in quiet to accomplish that.  Too often their work-day is packed with people (either across a meeting table or through electronic communications). They’re then less able to be proactive in their thinking and more prone to reactive decision-making.

Shane Parrish (@farnamstreet) wrote about this phenomenon several months ago. The title of his article was intriguing: “Most of what you are going to do or say today is not essential”.

I don’t want to spend my life doing things that don’t matter, especially in the huge investment of life at work.

In the above article, Parrish continued: “If you’re a modern knowledge worker, odds are you’re going to go to work, read some emails, reply to some emails, attend some meetings, grab a coffee, have lunch, attend another meeting or two, catch up on emails, and finally head home. You’ll be busy from the moment you get to work until the moment you go home. When you do find a nook of time, you’ll likely be bombarded with beeping, dings, calls, and other people who only need a sliver of our time. After all, they too have something urgent to do. They too have a deadline.

After a long day, you’ll come home mentally and physically drained. Eventually you’ll reach a tipping point and say enough is enough. The very next day you’ll head into the office vowing to change things. You’ll start to think about how to work more productively when, ding, a meeting invite pops up for an urgent meeting to decide the fate of a product.”

Later in the article, he said, “Sure we do more busy work, but we’re doing less real work. To get any real work done we come in early, stay late, or both. That’s the only way we can get some peace and quiet.”

We must take a step back from our hectic workday and refocus our thinking on why exactly do we have our jobs anyway. Why were we given the responsibilities we have or how are we to use the authority/influence we have? Are we being good stewards of what is absolutely imperative or are we just ticking off what is necessary? We have to recapture the essential elements of our work before they’re lost in a muddle of ineffective organizational structure.

There has been lots written on effective leadership, workplace productivity, and time management. For me, these 5 helps encourage me in resetting my priorities when I lose balance or energy or joy in the work:

1) Pray – really do business with God on the issue of your stewardship of your work. Are you being faithful in the essentials?

2) Re-visit your job description and annual goals. Do they match up or have your time and mental energy been outsourced to other activities eroding your creativity and productivity?

3) Determine when you are the sharpest or freshest and guard that time of the day for the most essential thinking and decision-making you need to do. “Silence” the distractions for that block of time.

4) Practice intentionality in dealing with meeting invites, drop-ins, phone calls, or email. Urgent matters will come up and may need only your attention for some part of them. Just beware that you don’t fall into a habit of doing what may come easy – for example, filling up your day with meetings generated by others leaving you with little time for  your own responsibilities.

5) Do what only you can do whenever possible. You’re in the position you’re in, hopefully, because you are just the right person for that job. What is it that you need to be focused on? You don’t just ignore the other needs of the office or organization that vie for your attention, but you help work out how best (either through a process or another person) those needs are met.

What has helped you in stewarding the essentials in your work life? What are your particular challenges?

Shane Parrish – What You Do Today Is Not Essential

Biblical Time Management

Michael Hyatt on Cutting Your To-Do List in Half

Time Management Matrix

5 Tips for Increasing Workplace Productivity

5 Real Tips to Get More Done at Work