Tag Archives: Marilyn Gardner

5 Friday Faves – Solitude, a Culture Wall, Like a Mother – Serena Williams, Our Children, and Food With a Friend

Check this week as done. For us around here, it’s been a week of great highs punctuated by distinct lows. How amazing that we can pray through and lean in to God and each other for the lows…and celebrate the highs, in quiet and in company. Life is good and real.

1) Solitude – Writer, philosopher Zat Rana caught my eye with his article The Most Important Skill Nobody Taught You. Turns out his view of that most important untaught skill is solitude. That ability to just enjoy being alone. Sitting or walking alone. Lost in your own thoughts. Except for a self-portrait for a photography class, you won’t see many signs in my life that solitude is something that comes easy.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Blaise Pascal

The Most Important Skill Nobody Taught YouZat Rana

According to Pascal, we fear the silence of existence, we dread boredom and instead choose aimless distraction, and we can’t help but run from the problems of our emotions into the false comforts of the mind.

The issue at the root, essentially, is that we never learn the art of solitude. – Zat Rana

[My husband who often sits by himself at dawn and dusk to recharge. For him, solitude is something that has come naturally.]

Rana talks about how technology has connected us in a myriad of ways but the connectedness is more virtual than real. – We now live in a world where we’re connected to everything except ourselves.”

“Our aversion to solitude is really an aversion to boredom…we dread the nothingness of nothing. We can’t imagine just being rather than doing. And therefore, we look for entertainment, we seek company, and if those fail, we chase even higher highs. We ignore the fact that never facing this nothingness is the same as never facing ourselves. And never facing ourselves is why we feel lonely and anxious in spite of being so intimately connected to everything else around us.” – Zat Rana

Everything I Have Learned in 500 Words – Zat Rana

2) A Culture Wall – Benjamin Hardy is a writer, organizational psychologist dude. I am reading his book Willpower Doesn’t Work: Discovering the Keys to Success. This week he posted about having a culture wall, and it totally engaged this visual learner. Designed by Gaping Void, this is an art-as-inspiration tool for the workplace.Photo Credit: Benjamin Hardy, Medium; Gaping Void

Looking at Benjamin Hardy’s culture wall got me thinking of the truths that keep me going at work and at home. Coming up with those sayings or mantras, as a team, or family, would be an excellent exercise…and then making the art happen would flow naturally out of that. It doesn’t have to be 20 pictures, like Hardy’s. Even one is a good start.

[Sidebar – Guitarist, YouTuber Nathan Mills, at Beyond the Guitar, in his videos, often features a “nerd shrine” with striking wall art. I wonder what a culture wall would look like in his studio.]

These 20 Pictures Will Teach You More Than Reading 100 BooksBenjamin Hardy

3) Like a Mother – Serena Williams – American tennis champion Serena Williams made it to the Wimbledon final this year. She didn’t win but she played #LikeaMother.  The expression “like a mother” brings all sorts of images to mind…and makes for marketing genius… Two examples are a Lysol commercial and one by Gatorade, the latter featuring Serena Williams.

Here’s to Serena Williams…including a couple of interviews where she and husband investor Alexis Ohanian describe how they met.

4) Our Children – Writer Frederica Mathewes-Green could have been a buddy of mine in college. In those days of the Vietnam War, we were those conflicted ones who wrote our high school sweethearts away in the military and we vocally protested at the same time. The Roe v. Wade decision was very new and felt very progressive to all of us, in those days…the “make love, not war” crowd. I was young and being pro-life or pro-choice wasn’t even on my radar…until after that court case divided us into mostly two camps. Mathewes-Green has written the most definitive piece on abortion and the legacy we are leaving our children in the article When Abortion Suddenly Stopped Making Sense.

She writes:

“Whatever your opinion is on abortion, I ask you to read this article. Fresh eyes. Mathewes-Green was around when that court decision was made. She was also feminist, as were so many of us in those days. She is still very pro-women…pro-human.

We expected that abortion would be rare. What we didn’t realize was that, once abortion becomes available, it becomes the most attractive option for everyone around the pregnant woman. If she has an abortion, it’s like the pregnancy never existed. No one is inconvenienced. It doesn’t cause trouble for the father of the baby, or her boss, or the person in charge of her college scholarship. It won’t embarrass her mom and dad.

Abortion is like a funnel; it promises to solve all the problems at once. So there is significant pressure on a woman to choose abortion, rather than adoption or parenting.

A woman who had had an abortion told me, “Everyone around me was saying they would ‘be there for me’ if I had the abortion, but no one said they’d ‘be there for me’ if I had the baby.””

and

“No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw off its own leg.”

Photo Credit: CASA

Her article frames this Friday Fave.  Why “our children” as the heading? When I read Mathewes-Green’s article, she reminded me that our children or our children’s children may judge these decades very differently than our culture has – these decades of thousands of babies not delivered alive. Definitely, if those not delivered alive could speak…those silenced by their own mothers (out of desperation with no one offering to help them in life-giving ways)…if they could speak, we might see things differently today. Thankful for women, like Frederica Mathewes-Green, who provide a call to reconsider and a platform for the voices of all our children.

When Abortion Suddenly Stopped Making Sense Frederica Mathewes-Green

Video – 50 Mums – 50 Kids – 1 Extra Chromosome

Tending your Garden – Colleen Searcy

5) Food With a Friend – Don’t you love surprise visits with a friend, now living states away? When I got Nikki’s text to meet up for a lunch this week, it was like a healing balm on my heart. She suggested a restaurant new to me: Mezeh Mediterranean Grill.

How have I missed this yummy place? All the food memories of our years in the Arab world mixed together in a big bowl. Pretty much my experience that day.

Add a long conversation between friends (including one other who joined our happy table)…and it was like Heaven here in Richmond, Virginia. Any such happy occasions come to mind for you this week? Hope so.

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That’s the week. Please comment below on any of these faves of mine or introduce your own… Have a restorative weekend… whatever that means for you and those you love.

Bonuses

Here’s Exactly What to Do If a Tick Bites You – Kate Sheridan

What To Do When You Think Your Life Sucks

I Love Jesus But I Want to Die: What You Need to Know About Suicide – Sarah

The Space Between – Marilyn Gardner

Paris, the evening of the World Cup FinalPhoto Credit: Nikaley Chandler

Tour de France – The Climbers and Rapid Descenders – the stages through the Alps happened this week – so incredibly exciting watching these riders – their toughness and endurance:Photo Credit: Cyclist

Happily Ever After – 100 Wedding Songs for Your Ceremony and Reception – Music Notes

Photo Credit: Jimmy Lee Thompson, Facebook

A Grateful Heart Day – Thankful for Those Who Just Show Up – and for a God Who Never Leaves

Blog - Writing & Journaling - Joy List

I’ve been writing all my life. Keeping a journal has been a source of joy and sanity for many of those years. Once when we were overseas, I was encouraged to keep a Joy List – a list of the simple things that just gave me joy. It’s still a joy to add to that list as I experience more of God’s kindnesses in His creation – people and places, stuff and such.

This is going to be quick. In a few minutes, I head to the airport to visit my Dad. He is such a delight to me…even with Alzheimer’s, he’s funny and thus far still loves life and family and food. He still prays which is a blessing to him, I’m sure, and to all of us.Papa on 90th

Anyway, I want to come back to this topic another day. For now, for you who show up for each other, what a joy you are! How grateful I am for you – in my life and in the lives of those I love. You may think it a small thing, a usual thing, but it’s not.

Marilyn Gardner wrote on this topic in her blog, and I found it this morning while researching the phrase “just showing up”. She expressed it so well.

The world is not changed through one momentous event, it is changed through the often boring, simple acts of obedience that I am daily called to. it is changed by showing up.” – Marilyn Gardner

I also want to recommend a book by Kara Tippetts entitled Just Show Up (see link below). She wrote this with a friend, Jill Lynn Buteyn, who, with others, “showed up” as Kara was living with cancer. She is with the Lord now but has left such a beautiful legacy in her life and writing.

Blog - Just Show Up

“Today I want to show up. I want to be fully present. It’s in showing up that I learn more of the faithfulness of the God who shows up. ” – Marilyn Gardner

It’s About Showing Up – Communicating Across Boundaries – Marilyn Gardner

Just Show Up by Kara Tippetts and Jill Lynn Buteyn & Other Books by Kara

10 Biblical Proofs that God Will Never Leave You or Forsake You

Just Show Up – James Altucher

“Inspiration Is for Amateurs – The Rest of Us Just Show Up and Get to Work”

5 Friday Faves – an Apple, a Podcast, an Apologist, a List of Great Books, and Something We Can Do for Refugees

Blog - Friday Faves

1. An Apple – Honeycrisp  – my husband’s favorite – we only have them for a few months in the Fall and are glad when they’re around and especially on special. Welcome back. Blog - Honeycrisp apples - Friday Faves

2. An Apologist – An apologist is someone who makes a defense of a faith or belief. Nancy Pearcey is an educator and writer. An agnostic in her early life, she became a Christian through a deep study of God. She presents the Christian worldview in such a clear, reasoned way. The subjective, sometimes silly and sometimes sinister, arguments we hear a lot of these days, both inside Christianity and from its foes, are put to rest. I discovered her through a book review by Tim Challies and an article of her own. I was captivated by her clarity on the God I love. Desiring to know better how to both understand and rightly represent God to friends and family. So…I bought both her books and am tearing into them: Finding Truth and Total Truth.Blog - Friday Faves - Nancy Pearcey - Apologist

3. A PodcastThe Eric Metaxas Show with Karen Swallow-Prior – Lively conversation about Hannah More – an English poet and supporter of William Wilberforce’s battle against slave trade. This podcast came on the eve of Metaxas’ book release – Seven Women: And the Secret of Their Greatness. Hannah More is one of those seven.

Blog - Friday Faves - 7 Women by Eric Metaxas

Photo Credit: amazon.com

4. A List of Great BooksChuck Lawless gives us a list of books that have had considerable impact on his spiritual formation.  I’ve read five of them – #1, #2, #4, #6, and #10.  Need to read the others.2014 May Blog 018

5. Something We Can Do For Refugees – The plight of refugees around the world moves us to act…but how? What can I really do? Marilyn Gardner has written several blogs this month with practical helps for any of us who want to intervene, effectively. Both short-term crisis care and over the long haul of resettlement. Two of her blogs were especially helpful for me: Self-Sufficiency in 8 Months – How to Settle a Refugee and Trauma-Informed Care.

As Syrian refugees continue to stream into neighboring countries and beyond the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) projects the number of registered refugees will soon reach the 4 million mark. (PHOTO BY JEDEDIAH SMITH)

Photo Credit: bpnews.net/photos

These are some of my favorite finds this week. What do you have to share? Looking forward to learning from you and enjoying your faves.

Seven Women: and the Secret of Their Greatness by Eric Metaxas

One Strategy to Rule Them All – How to Answer Skeptics from Romans 1 – Nancy Pearcey

Finding Truth – Tim Challies’ Review of Nancy Pearcey’s Book

Ten Books That Have Shaped My Life – Chuck Lawless

Self-Sufficiency in 8 Months – How to Settle a Refugee – Marilyn Gardner

Trauma-Informed Care – Marilyn Gardner

Baptist Global Response

Worship Wednesday – He Knows – Jeremy Camp

Blog - Jeremy Camp - He Knows

Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. – Hebrews 4:14-16

Alone. No, we are not alone.

In our grief. In our fear. In our frustration. In our anxiety. We are not alone. The temptation is to feel alone, to feel the gnaw of loneliness, the panic of helplessness, the clinching fear of failure. We are not alone in these desolate places. God knows…He knows.

He knows because He put on skin for our sakes. He came so close to the human experience that He endured all that we endure…He was tired and hungry and misunderstood. He lost people he loved; he was betrayed by closest of friends. He disappointed those who wanted more from him, different from him. He was between worlds, at home with those he loved here, and, at the same time, missing Home. He can wholly sympathize in the deepest possible way with our struggles and our longings.

When singer/songwriter Jeremy Camp’s first wife, Melissa, was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer, they were not yet married. During their honeymoon, she began experiencing pain again. The cancer had returned, and they began a very different journey than the one they had planned. Still, their faith remained strong, and deepened as God drew near to them in those difficult days. He knew and lavished mercy and grace on these young children of His. Melissa was 21 when she went to be with the Lord, whom she loved more than life.

Whatever we are going through, God knows and is deeply attached to us in that circumstance. I reflect on the losses we have endured – people we love, places we’ve lived where we won’t again, the tough goodbyes our children especially endured as we moved with work. We can’t even say we have suffered, because the unfathomable nearness of God penetrated the darkness and confusion of those days.

One of my favorite authors, Marilyn Gardner, wrote recently about suffering that resonates with our experiences:

“There is something about suffering that longs for someone to sit with us, to sit with us through the pain. It’s the fellowship of suffering. It’s the unspoken words ‘you are not alone’ put into action. The sitting bears witness to our pain.” – Marilyn Gardner, Toward a Fellowship of Suffering

Take heart, Dear Ones, if you are facing something that feels so much bigger than you can carry.  The seemingly relentless waves of trouble in our lives break on the rocks of His mercy.Blog Oualidia - He Knows (2)

Jeremy Camp knows that from his own experience and shares that with us through his songs:

“There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears. There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face. But until that day, we’ll hold on to You always.”*

He KnowsWorship with me:

All the bitter weary ways
endless striving day by day
you barely have the strength to pray
in the valley low

how hard your fight has been
how deep the pain within
wounds that no one else has seen
hurts too much to show

all the doubt you’re standing in between
And all the weight that brings you to your knees

HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS
EVERY HURT AND EVERY STING
HE HAS WALKED THE SUFFERING
HE KNOWS, HE KNOWS
LET YOUR BURDENS COME UNDONE
LIFT YOUR EYES UP TO THE ONE
WHO KNOWS
HE KNOWS

we may faint and we may sink
feel the pain and near the brink
but the dark begins to shrink
when you find the one who knows

the chains of doubt that held you in between
one by one are starting to break free

every time that you feel forsaken
every time that you feel alone
He is near to the broken hearted
every tear
He knows…**

YouTube Video – He Knows (Lyric Video)

Jeremy Camp – He Knows – Story Behind the Song

Testimony of Jeremy & Melissa Camp’s Brief Lives Together for God’s Glory

YouTube Video – There Will Be a Day (Lyric Video)

*Lyric from There Will Be a Day -KLove

** Lyrics from He Knows – KLove

Jeremy Camp – Bio