Category Archives: Life Skills

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Finishing Strong – On the Anniversary of My Mom’s Glorious Homegoing

November 4, 2014 admindeb 4 Comments

We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed – always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. – 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

My Mom was a young 72 when she was diagnosed with cancer. We were overseas at the time, and I wanted so to be home with her. She was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma – supposedly “the best kind of cancer you can have”. Highly treatable. Long remissions. Often cured. Mom would die after 3 years of intensive, and sometimes experimental, chemotherapy. She never caught a break. Yet, she didn’t look at it that way.

Her journey with God in those days was other-worldly. The Mom I knew loved to serve people, and cancer would not stop that. She had grown up poor and with a dad who could be mean when he drank. She dreamed of college but it was never meant to be. Instead she became a student of life, and she never tired of that. She was a beautiful blend of Mary and Martha – wholly satisfied whether “sitting at the feet of Jesus” or serving the needs of those around her. I love that she was my Mom.

She taught me how to live…and she taught me how to die. We were home in the States when Mom’s cancer finished its course in her. She never spent a night in the hospital throughout those three years. She stubbornly guarded her time at home and had the will and the support (of my Dad, family and friends) to endure from home…and there was God, holding her tight against the storm.

Mom never prayed for healing, but we did. Mom prayed that this cancer, the illness and all that was part of it (including a devastating Shingles-related neuralgia), would bring glory to God. Her prayer was answered, and ours, ultimately, in Heaven.

Her dying took three days. If you had known my Mom, you knew a person that was all about life – helping and encouraging others, pointing them to God, determined, in faith, to make sense of what seemed utter nonsense. She continued to be about that until she went into a coma the last day. While she was awake that final weekend, I asked her (over and again) how she was. One time, I remember, she nodded a bit, and whispered, “I’m O.K.” It was her face that spoke volumes. Forehead lifted, blue eyes bright, an almost sunny expression. That “I’m O.K.” was accompanied by an almost delighted look of marvel…of wonder. Like, “Wow! I’m really O.K.!” God was meeting her at the point of her greatest need.

Mom and I have always had amazing talks about the deep things of God and life. She told me one time that she envied us our certainty of His call to a life overseas. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard God speak so clearly to me,” she lamented. In the last days of her life, it came to me to ask her if she heard God speak to her lately. She answered right away, with that same look of wonder, “All the time!” If cancer had to be the instrument of such grace, then it became a gift to her.

Mom entered Eternity during the reading of 2 Corinthians 4:7-10 (see above). Her young pastor and his wife came unexpectedly that evening, rushing in, wide-eyed, as if on a mission. We brought them back to her room, and they sat with us, around her bed. She had been unresponsive all day. Her pastor opened his Bible and began reading. Mom had this sweet habit of knitting her forehead and shaking her head, in response to something that touched her heart. As he read, after being quiet and still all day, she knit her forehead and breathed her last. We all felt transfigured in that moment.

Today marks 12 years since Mom went to be with the Lord, and I miss her today and every day. She was so spent when she left us, yet gloriously whole at the same time. A bit of prose from Henry Van Dyke always comes to mind in thinking of her Homegoing.

Gone From My Sight by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then, someone at my side says, “There, she is gone.”

Gone where?

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast,
hull and spar as she was when she left my side.
And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me — not in her.

And, just at the moment when someone says, “There, she is gone,”
there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices
ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!”

Mom taught us how to live…and she taught us how to die. She “fought the good fight…finished the race…and kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7). For us, there is still a race to be run.

Thanks, Mom, for showing us how it’s done. See you at the Finish Line.

When it’s all been said and done
There is just one thing that matters:
Did I do my best to live for truth, did I live my life for You?
When it’s all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I’ve done for love’s Reward
Will stand the test of time.

Lord, Your mercy is so great
That You look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay
Making sinners into saints

I will always sing Your praise
Here on earth and ever after
For You’ve shown me Heaven’s my true home
When it’s all been said and done
You’re my life when life is gone.

Lord I’ll live my life for You.

Mom’s Irises

YouTube Video – When It’s All Been Said and Done

Memory of Mildred Byrd McAdams

We Are Not Our Own – Thoughts on Physician-Assisted Suicide

Babies & Children, Family, Friendship, Home, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Marriage, Parenting, Pray, Walk with God

A Prayer for Young Moms of Little Ones

October 10, 2014 admindeb 5 Comments

Jesus declared, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30

Years ago, during a Nile Cruise with friends, we had the opportunity to visit a hospital in Aswan, Egypt. Across the entryway into the maternity ward were these words, written in Arabic and English: “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” When Jesus spoke those words, I can’t help but think He also had young moms (and moms-to-be) in mind. The young moms in my life have been on my mind a lot this week. [See previous blog.] Such a big job, and yet such a bigger God.

Would you pray with me for the young moms in your life?

Dear God,

Thank You for life…and for how You bring it to be through the bodies of Your daughters. These brave young women who carry little ones to term and then continue to carry them in their hearts forever. Keep them close to You, Lord, through all that takes their sleep, their energy, their breath. We are so grateful that You never leave us or forsake us – whether in the wee hours of morning feedings or the late nights of troubling fever. Wrap Your arms around these sweet mamas as they lean on You for help in these moments…moments when there’s no one else really to tag in for them to take their place.

Oh Father, give them wisdom…how to lead their little ones not just to be engineers or fire fighters or moms themselves, but to be followers of God. Help these moms to love You with all their hearts and to teach their little ones to do the same.

When You spoke through Moses to the children of Israel, You must have had young mothers on Your heart. You knew they would need all sorts of reminders to redeem teachable moments, for themselves and their/Your smallest disciples. God, help them to surround themselves with Your Word and remembrances of You. Refresh them with the Truth through their day in the relentless responsibility of caring for children. Restore the joy of their salvation, Lord.

God, guard them from small lives and trivial pursuits. They are staking out the future of Your Kingdom through their investment in these little lives. Hannah comes to mind who prayed for a child and then gave Him back to You after he was weaned. God, may we remember always that these, our children, belong to You. Make them fit for Your Kingdom’s purposes. Help us all as moms, and especially young ones, have a long view of the future. Give us grace to see.

Father, thank You that Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light. It doesn’t always seem so in the daily work of life – for moms working in the home and moms also working outside the home. Help us trust what You tell us about ourselves, Yourself and Your ways. In the midst of cooking, cleaning, and caring for these little ones, encourage Your young daughters with glimpses of glory. Help them to lean in to You, Father. Thank You, that You are there for them.

And finally, God, I pray for the Church to be very real for these young moms. Help them to see that we are more like Jesus, with them, than without them. Help us to be there for them in concrete, life-giving ways. Call us to pray daily for the young families in our community. Lord, help us to serve them in ways that bring us all closer to each other and especially closer to You. Father, also, give these young moms clarity about how much we need them, too. How encouraged I am each week to hear their stories and to see them determined to be intentional in their walk with You, teaching their little ones to do likewise. Thank You, for the grace You give to them to continue to serve their church and community, even in seemingly small ways. God, I remember how hard this was when I had young children. Thank You for Your faithfulness in our lives. We marvel at Your love.

Lord, we know too well that this season of small ones is so brief. We have such a short time really to teach our children how to walk with You in this world. Thank You for these young moms who keep their eyes on You and on their little ones at the same time. Whew! It’s no small thing, Father. Thank You for their sake…and for ours.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Lisa-Jo Baker Surprised by Motherhood

Ann Voskamp A Holy Experience

Moms in Prayer

YouTube scene from film Moms’ Night Out – “You just be you, He’ll take care of the rest.”

Books, Culture & Religion, Family, God, Home, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lives Full of God, Parenting, Teaching, Walk with God

The Season of Small Ones – Mothering, God, & Gandalf

October 7, 2014 admindeb 2 Comments

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” – Deuteronomy 6:4-9

All the years of mothering have stretching bits, but the season of small ones was my most challenging. I was struck all over again just this weekend at the exquisite work of parenting. At our house church gathering, there were all these little guys weaving in and out around the tree-like adults in their way. Little ones belonging to three moms, pregnant with their next precious babies. A houseful of life and love and breath-taking responsibility.

I woke up the next morning thinking about those moms and others like them – holding the future in their arms. What a gift children are – a heritage of the Lord (Psalm 127:3) – and what an important charge we’ve been given in training them up (Proverbs 22:6). As moms, every day is on-the-job training for us, too, as we sort out how to guide our children in setting their feet on course with God. We disciples making wee disciples.

When we brought our first-born home from the hospital, we basked in the miracle of her. Then a few days into mothering , I sat with her in my lap, crying my eyes out. Some of it, most probably, related to post-partum hormones, but mostly I was undone by the weight of responsibility of caring for her…and trying to do it “right”. My husband was sitting across the room, taking in all this mystery of a beautiful baby girl and a wife weeping. I asked him, “What if something happens to her?!” He leaned in, with newborn tenderness, and reasoned with me, “If we only had her for a week, it’s a week of more joy than we’ve ever known before. We have to trust her with God.” From that moment on, we have been daily doing that transaction with the Lord – praying for our children and laying them back in His arms. They are, after all, His.

God calls us to remember for a reason. In the remembering, He gives us the clarity to see that He is always with us and especially in this season of small ones. I want to write more on this, but for now, young moms, take courage. In all the craziness of your day, with all that pulls at your time and attention, God sees you. He stands in the battle for you. Be strong in the Lord. We fight for our children in an alien culture that we call home, and we are not alone. God is with us today, and He will be with them in their future. Remember that, and teach them that.

I picture us moms, in a small way, like Gandalf in the LOTR Fellowship of the Ring scene. He stands valiantly between his small band of “children” and the terrible Balrog. His words resonate with my heart to protect and prepare my children – not just for their sake but for their future – for the Kingdom purposes God has for them. At the end of that scene, when it appeared Gandalf lost his life in that battle, his charges, sad but safe, turned and pushed on with their mission. They had learned well from their teacher. Moms, “you are braver than you think…for the Lord your God is with you wherever you [and your children] go.”

Lisa-Jo Baker’s Book Surprised by Motherhood

Youtube video of LOTR Fellowship of the Ring – Gandalf Faces the Balrog

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20 Online Resources to Equip Us to Take the Gospel to the Nations – Through our Workplace

September 29, 2014 admindeb 4 Comments

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 15:58

We live in a new day of Gospel proclamation and demonstration. Is it possible that the church – that we all together – could fulfill the Great Commission in our lifetime? God has always meant for His children, every one of us, to be invested in His purposes…not just on Sunday, but Monday on…through our studies, our work, our circles of influence.

God is stirring the hearts of men and women in all trades and professions to give witness to the love of Christ and the excellence of God’s Kingdom. From students to retirees, we can be equipped to daily display the Gospel, in our workplace and through our community, wherever we are.

Today you can get started…and the following resources will help you get where God would have you go.

Skybridge Community – asks the question: “Can You Imagine God Using Your Work for His Purpose in Reaching the Nations?” Skybridge is a global community of Kingdom professionals being intentional in joining excellence in the workplace, cultural sensitivity, and Gospel proclamation. You can become a member and have access to a wide range of resources and mentoring possibilities.

Marketplace Advance – Integrating Vocation and Mission – focuses on mobilizing and equipping Kingdom professionals and tradespeople to be a part of fulfilling the Great Commission all over the world, through their workplace.

The Gospel at Work – [Helping Christians live extraordinary, gospel-centered lives in their workplaces] – is a network of churches and Kingdom professionals providing equipping toward Gospel intentionality in the workplace.

The High Calling – [Everyday Conversations About Work, Life, and God] – is an online community of professionals encouraging us all in the workplace to infuse our work with God – His love, His truth, and His purposes. Each week, The High Calling has a feature. written by people like you and me, focused being believers in the workplace.

Below are 16 other links to great resources to equip us as Gospel-bearers in the marketplace – wherever it is. You may have a favorite of your own that I didn’t list. Please share that through the Comments.

Let’s be about the mission of God – through teaching, engineering, business, art, athletics, health care, construction, computer science. You fill in the blank of your vocation…He will empower you there…for the sake of your coworkers, your neighbors…and the nations.

A Better Way by Dale Losch – Disciples In Every Marketplace Making Disciples All Over the World

Business as Mission Resources Center for Faith & Work at LeTourneau University – Connecting Sunday Worship & Monday Work — Also 24 Seven Faith

Center for Faith and Work – Redeemer Church (Pastor Tim Keller), NYC, NY

Christianity 9 to 5

Denver Institute for Faith & Work

Live/Right Blog – Integrating Faith into Everyday Life

Marketplace Leaders with Os Hillman – Today God Is First

Missional Marketplace 2014 Summit Media – Videos of Marketplace/Church Leader Talks

Patheos – Mission:Work

(Re)integrate – the center to reintegrate faith, life, and vocations (online magazine)

Re-Vocation: Working on Purpose – Upstream Collective

The Institute for Faith, Work, and Economics

The Washington Institute for Faith, Vocation, and Culture

Theology of Work Project – A Biblical Perspective on Faith and Work

Third Path Initiative – Accelerate Your Kingdom Impact – Third Path equips young professionals to have a Kingdom impact through profitable business in the global marketplace

Work Matters – Closing the Gap Between Faith and Work

Bookmarked Summer, Books, Culture & Religion, Family, God, Home, Inspired, Jesus, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lives Full of God, Marriage, Parenting, Pray, Transitions, Walk with God

Surprised by Motherhood – Lisa-Jo Baker’s Must-Read for All Women and the Bravest of Men

September 9, 2014 admindeb 3 Comments

I just finished re-reading Surprised by Motherhood, because I wanted to write about it, When I first heard about this book, this Spring, it wasn’t a title that would have captivated me. My children are grown now. Yet, I am surrounded by mothers and see them doing battle to raise their children up to know God and to be honoring in their relationships and responsibilities. I also see the battle fatigue in parenting, in mothering. Lisa-Jo Baker wrote this book for you, Dear Ones. Surprised by Motherhood is not a “how to” book; it is a “go through” book – a story of life and family and God in the midst. You will find it full of shared experience; wrestling with what’s important; discovering joy in the chaos; laughing and crying and resting in Him.

Lisa-Jo Baker is a real woman – bright, funny, intuitive, and capable. I also envision, from her writing and the images on her blog, that she struggles with our same messy stuff of life that comes with little ones. Sticky table-tops, full laundry baskets, and very public, sometimes embarrassing displays of emotion by our kiddos. Yet, as you read, she speaks grace on herself, and on you.

I like her. We both are third-culture adults (people whose hearts are knit to two continents, at least). We both see God in the craziness of our lives…and have grown closer to Him as moms. We both have two sons and a daughter, and our passionate second-born sons have taught us both the most about ourselves. We both had children in our later 30’s. Our hearts have also been broken by the terrible problem of human trafficking in the world, and we want to change that. We have both spent much of our lives without our moms, her more years than me, but I resonate with that heart-ache of missing them. Her mom-in-law and I are both Debbies and we both pray for our children. I’m glad Lisa-Jo has such a woman in her life.

If you’re not a mom, or if you’re a man who has actually read thus far, I hope you’ll consider this book as well. There is so much to gain from her story. I leave you with just a taste in her own words:

About her mom: “She made room for people, so I never noticed how the house looked or what food she was serving. I saw how they all wanted to be with her. People stayed. The kids swam. Watermelons were split for dessert.” (p.23)

About church: “When I was growing up, church was a consistent, resilient heartbeat for our family…Church was a love language that spoke peace and comfort and home over my childhood.” (p. 32-33)

About a friend who entered their grief at the death of her mom: “Alex blew into the kitchen where we were trying to decide if we were hungry. The world felt like it was underwater, and it was hard to stand up, impossible to make decisions…We sat around that old pine table…as he cut hunks of bread, spread out meats and cheeses and tomato slices, and fed our empty parts. I didn’t know I was hungry until he arrived.” (p. 48-49)

About her 2y/o Micah who clung to her at church (and most all the time): “I rocked him and sang praise for his Maker…And suddenly, all those great and powerful phrases like ‘sacrifice’ and ‘loves like a hurricane’ and ‘blessed be the name of the Lord’ took on Technicolor meaning. With this boy wrapped in my arms, clinging to me, I understood what the God parent feels for me. To die for this love – yes, it made sense…In the music, in the rocking of the baby who was becoming a boy, I poured out my gratitude. And my arms – how they ached with the weight of it.” (p. 128-9)

On lessons learned in parenting – “I didn’t know I was selfish until I had kids…But I believe God loves us too much to leave us flailing in our self-centered universes, so He delivers these tiny reflections of ourselves into our homes with earthquake effectiveness…Oh God, how I need You.” (p. 187-188)

There is so much love in this book. So much acceptance. So much real. I hope you pick up a copy and read the story of Lisa-Jo’s journey into motherhood, and through motherhood to a deeper walk with God and a sweet healing place for herself and her family…that is available to all of us Surprised by Motherhood…or just life itself.

Meet Lisa-Jo Baker – your cheerleader, friend, sister

Surprised by Motherhood Book Club – First 3 Chapters Free

(In)courage – “A bit like a beach house – a place where women could feel welcome without pretense, valued just the way they are. A place where we could put our sandy, dirty feet up on the coffee table and tell our real, hard stories. A place where people would listen. A place where women were brave enough to be vulnerable.”

Mighty – Mother’s Day Video by JourneyBox Media

Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Teaching, Transitions, Workplace or Marketplace

Back to School – Teachers on My Mind

September 2, 2014 admindeb 1 Comment

Back to School! Must be September…with all that comes with it. I have always loved the smell of newly sharpened pencils and notebooks just opened. Put me in a room full of books and I can occupy myself for hours. “Back to school” can mean delight for some and dread for others. I actually never cared for school – growing up or sending my children off to school. I liked being home, as a child, and I loved having our children home. Yet, there comes a day that vacation is over, and the work of children begins again in earnest…at school.

The Tuesday after Labor Day marks the beginning of the public school year here in Virginia, and my mind is busy with images of kids of all ages in the latest coolest outfit with all the appropriate age-specific accessories (backpack, lunchbox, cell phone, etc.). More than even the kids, I think of the parents who entrust their loves to teachers and staff, some of whom they may not even know really…except for maybe the rushed Open House introductions.

More even than the parents, it’s those teachers, I want to focus on. How do they prepare for the onslaught of the first day of school? To receive 20-25 little strangers into their classroom. How do they begin to build order and community among these little strangers? These , coming from different home cultures, some not native English speakers. How do they sort out who needs what to help them learn best? It’s all a great mystery to me.

Then there are those first day tears…or first day fears that are harder to recognize. These teachers just seem to know, and they work to settle these young ones and to stoke confidence in their hearts.

I have always admired the giftings of teachers – adults able to enter the world of their students and render opportunities to learn and inspire in just such a way these young ones can grasp. Not just to master content but to learn how to be good citizens in their particular community (be it 3rd grade or 10th). It’s a shame when teachers stay so long – or too long tired – in the classroom such that they lose their passion for teaching (or is it for learning?). They still have impact, and hopefully for good. Hopefully. I don’t know any teachers like that right now, and today could be a fresh start.

Right now, I am well-acquainted with some wonderful teachers who are greeting their new class of students today, and I want to say to them, “Thank you.” Thank you for thinking of these students through the summer, although they did not as yet have names or faces…yet you were already planning for a good year for them.

Thank you for preparing your classroom to be a bright and colorful place that will delight their imaginations. Thank you for filling their space with books, and floor pillows, and games, and art, and math manipulatives, and computer programming – to touch the hearts and minds of each of your students with their unique learning strengths and weaknesses. Thanks for not taking yourself too seriously or them too lightly. Thanks for your understanding of which students need to be drawn out and which other ones need to be settled down. Beginnings are important, and your students have so much to learn from you about starting well.

And then finishing strong. Thanks for determining to stick with them through the year. For not giving up on the ones who seem to have just too much going against them to be successful. We never know, do we? And for those students who just seem to have everything going for them, thank you for challenging them to serve others, to think critically, and to lead in ways that go deeper than popularity.

Thank you for applying all your “super powers” for their benefit – be they little ones or the almost grown ones – including seeing their parents (or grandparents or other guardians) as some of your best resources. It means more work for you, but it could make all the difference…not just for that student, but for their adults as well.

So thanks, teachers…it’s a new year. And you’re ready.

3 Free Tools for a Productive September [September 1st is the New January 1st] – Ann Voskamp

Recipe for Pecan Pie Bars – to go with those Pumpkin Spice Lattes that Appear Magically in September Along with School

Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Volunteering/Serving, Workplace or Marketplace

A Labor of Love – Hanover Habitat for Humanity – Still Sore Two Days Later But a Good Sore

September 1, 2014 admindeb 5 Comments

Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat their produce. – Jeremiah 29:5

The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish pulls it down with her hands. – Proverbs 14:1

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain. – Psalm 127:1-2

The Bible is filled with references about building and building well – exact measurements and materials, strong foundations, counting the cost before building, and obeying God in building and being community together.

A team of us from Crosstrain Community Church in Richmond, Virginia volunteered a couple of days ago to help with building with Hanover Habitat for Humanity. We had been intrigued for some time on how to participate, as construction novices, in the good work of Habitat – providing affordable housing for people in need.

Their processes have changed through the years and are better than ever (in choosing candidates for homes, mobilizing and equipping building teams, and strengthening community relationships). It was amazing for us how they took a group of green volunteers, with very little experience, and guided us through a day’s work. We accomplished so much – considerably more than we could have imagined.

We had a team of 14, and the site foreman, George, divided us into three smaller teams. He asked for those who considered themselves to be “perfectionists” to do prep for vinyl siding for a house. All the guys on our team chose that work).

Then George asked for 5 of us to paint trim all day. That might seem simple, but on-your-feet painting for 6 hours in the August sun was a job!

Still fun though – good company, sweet music, and lots of laughter as they splashed paint on all those strips of wood.

I was on the remaining team whose job it was to lay the plywood for the subfloor on the floor joists that were already in place. Never having done more with a hammer than hang pictures, I was more than uneasy as to what we would be doing. Fortunately, as is the case with all Habitat projects, we had “professional” volunteers leading us in the job. Our guys, Brian and Mike, knew well what they were doing and they were patient and encouraging with us.

With these guys and a couple of others, we finished that subfloor.

Between our three small teams, we worked on two houses that day. Both of the designated house owners were there helping as well. It was a pleasure to get to meet and work alongside the people who were most invested in building these houses that would be their homes.

Working together is always a great opportunity to build relationships and to serve others. We learn from others with differing strengths and see weaknesses in areas that we had no other opportunity to see except in unfamiliar territory. I am a hard worker and want to always do my part, but that was the absolute hardest physical work I’ve done in some time.

It was an incredible experience for me to be side-by-side with friends who shouldered up to you when the task got too hard, and your strength ebbed. A sunny day at the beach and a sunny day on a work site are two very different experiences. No wonder we see builders with huge coolers heading to their work! They must eat and drink massive amounts to stay hydrated and energized through the day. I’ve always had respect for these guys, and my experience with Habitat boosted that respect all the more.

When we left the site, at 3:30 that day, we had finished what they asked us to accomplish. All I wanted to do when I got home was eat, drink, and be horizontal…not thinking about anything. Completely exhausted. It has taken 2 days to get back to my “computer job” fit self (sigh). It’s the good sore of working hard, in community, for something that matters. Looking forward to our next day out with Habitat…hopefully in the cool of a Fall day.

George (on left) – our site foreman with Habitat

Our team (minus two) at the end of the day in front of the completed sub-floor. They are not going to love this picture but working with them that day makes me love them all the more.

Habitat for Humanity, Hanover County, Virginia

Books, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lives Full of God, Marriage, Transitions, Walk with God

Sacred Marriage Seminar – A Morning with God, My Husband, & Gary Thomas

August 25, 2014 admindeb 2 Comments

I’ve been married 30 years to the same man. Well, not really. He and I have both changed considerably – not in our core values so much or our deepest heart desires, but in pretty much every other way. We grew up a lot, married to each other. I am especially thankful he hung in there with me during some of those tough early growing up years.

This past weekend, we had the joy of together attending a Sacred Marriage Seminar with Gary Thomas (sponsored by First Things First of Greater Richmond). Can’t remember the last marriage conference we participated in. One friend said, this weekend, on hearing we’d attended, “I won’t go to marriage conferences any more. until I start applying what I’ve learned at previous ones.” [Of course, we know their marriage pretty well…loving, honest, devoted to God and others…including each other.]

Gary L. Thomas has made a deep study of marriage over many decades and his wisdom has been a great encouragement to us. Our absolute favorite book on marriage is his Sacred Marriage – What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than Happy? Thomas is not precluding happiness as part of marriage. By no means. What he does is to encourage the reader to fix our focus on our walk with God as the true foundation for the great joys possible in marriage.

If you are single (or single-again) and hope God has marriage in your future, I would encourage you to read Thomas’ book The Sacred Search. Those single years for me could have been far less dramatic and traumatic if I’d known then what I know now. This book is a good start in gaining wisdom for that season.

If you are married, happily for now or unhappily for a long time, you might consider reading Sacred Marriage. As in the too-frequent Sunday-to-Monday sacred-secular divide, there can be the same spiritual disconnect in our marriages. Persevere. Don’t give up. Not on each other, and especially not on God. I don’t say this lightly…dark days come to all marriages. I know. What I also know is that God loves His children, and our weakness can actually display His great strength (2 Corinthians 12:9).

[Hear my heart, if you are divorced or in a second/third marriage, there is no judgment here. Only hope for you, singly or together with your spouse, to know and love God and the glory of His love for you.]

I leave you with some of what Gary Thomas says through these books and the Sacred Marriage Seminar. Hopefully, you’ve heard from me that it’s not about Gary Thomas…but about a God who desires true intimacy for us – with Himself and with each other.

The spiritual challenge of marriage is that “We ALL stumble in many ways.” (James 3:2) — Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Marriage Seminar

“If you want to be free to serve Jesus, there’s no question—stay single. Marriage takes a lot of time. But if you want to become more like Jesus, I can’t imagine any better thing to do than to get married. Being married forces you to face some character issues you’d never have to face otherwise.” — Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Marriage

“Women, ask yourself, what will you most desire in your man ten years from now, when you have kids and a house and are sharing a life together and the infatuation has faded? Find that. Look for that.” — Gary L. Thomas, Sacred Search

“None of us is so fascinating that we can keep someone enchanted for 50-60 years. But if we’re joined in seeking God’s Kingdom [Matthew 6:33], then there’s plenty of drama for a lifetime. Selfishness is boring. Being centered on His purposes is riveting and bonding.” — Gary L. Thomas, notes from Sacred Marriage Seminar

“If I get married for trivial reasons, then I’ll get divorced for trivial reasons. If I get married to “seek first the Kingdom of God” then that never changes and my marriage is on rock-solid ground.” — Gary L. Thomas, notes from Sacred Marriage Seminar

“Couples don’t fall out of love so much as they fall out of repentance.” – Gary L. Thomas

“I wouldn’t be surprised if many marriages end in divorce largely because one or both partners are running from their own revealed weaknesses as much as they are running from something they can’t tolerate in their spouse.” — Gary L. Thomas

“Your spouse is a child of God, too, so meditate on God as Father-in-Law. He knows His children better than anyone knows them. We need to pay attention to God in how He cares for His children – like a daddy watching out for his little girl – and love our spouse as He loves them.” — Gary L. Thomas, notes from Sacred Marriage Seminar

First Things First of Greater Richmond

Gary Thomas Website, Blog, Resources

Singles and “The Sacred Search“

Excerpts from Gary Thomas’ The Sacred Search

The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas {A Book Review}

10 Essentials for Your Marriage

Sacred Marriage Small Group Bible Study Videos

Gary L. Thomas Quotes from Goodreads.com

Another word on marriage – with engaging comment section including comments by Gary Thomas

Culture & Religion, Inspired, Life Skills, Lives Full of God, Music, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship

Worship Wednesday – You Are My Vision – Rend Collective

August 20, 2014 admindeb 1 Comment

The strongest memories I have of the song Be Thou My Vision are connected with worship across North Africa. When our children were growing up, we “attended church” – expat families who gathered once or twice a week to worship in English. We sang great hymns, old and more modern, with guitar accompaniment, and worship leaders with more British and Irish accents than American. I remember our little family, strung out along a pew of these little churches. Our stair-step children, with shoulders squared, singing from hymnals in the early years and then words projected on the stuccoed front walls.

We sang Be Thou My Vision, this old Irish hymn, across three countries in Heliopolis Community Church (Cairo), St. George’s (Tunis), and St. John’s (Casablanca). Before our children all launched back into life in the US, we “attended” church less and became a part of house churches. There we still sang Be Thou My Vision, still with guitar…less with a British or Irish accent.

Now to Rend Collective. I heard this group for the first time on my radio about a year ago. The song was Second Chance*. I jotted down the group’s name and song (while driving…sigh) and would later buy the album** based on that one song. Have you ever done that?

When I heard You are My Vision, my first thought was how could anyone mess with such a great hymn that so truly magnifies God? As I listened, the personal nature of this version drew me in. This old Irish hymn written in the 8th century has been, not-so-much-updated but, celebrated by an Irish group of young worshippers. Not celebrating the song so much as celebrating the Saviour of the song.

Worship with me through the lyrics and music of You are My Vision.

You are my vision, oh King of mine heart. Nothing else satisfies, only You, Lord. You are my best thought, by day or by night. Waking or sleeping, Your presence, my light.

You are my wisdom; You are my true word – I ever with You and You with me, Lord. You’re my great Father and I’m Your true Son. You dwell inside me, together we’re one.

You are my battle shield, sword for the fight. You are my dignity; You’re my delight. You’re my soul’s shelter, and You’re my high tower. Come raise me heavenward, oh, Power of my power.

I don’t want riches or a man’s empty praise. You’re my inheritance, now and always. You and You only, the first in my heart – High king of heaven, my treasure You are.

High king of heaven, when victory’s won, may I reach heaven’s joy, oh, bright heaven’s Son. Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my vision, oh, Ruler of all.

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my vision, oh, Ruler of all.

Lyrics for You are My Vision

You are My Vision – Rend Collective – Official Live – acapella part at 2:23 will seriously give you cold chills

YouTube video of You are My Vision with lyrics

**Rend Collective Albums with You are My Vision – Homemade Worship by Handmade People and Campfire

Rend Collective Art of Celebration – Album & Tour

Be Thou My Vision – Wikipedia – English Methodist Lyrics, 1964

Back Story of Be Thou My Vision

*YouTube video of Second Chance from album Homemade Worship by Handmade People

YouTube video of Build Your Kingdom Here from album Homemade Worship by Handmade People – another favorite for another day

Culture & Religion, God, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Walk with God

Amazing Grace – On the Edge of Our Seats – Will She Remember?

August 2, 2014 admindeb Leave a comment

Children’s programs at church have such a wide scope of experience for the persons in the congregation. Depending on the choral leaders and the sound capabilities of the church, special music done by children can be almost professional. Or they can be…something altogether otherwise. Still, it’s a good opportunity for children to get up there and bring a Gospel message, of a sort, and hone the life skill (?) of performing in front of people. And make their parents proud. I’ve been among those parents. Now I’m enjoying the musical adventures of other parents’ children until the coming of grandchildren who will mesmerize me with their musical giftings.

For now, I want to tell you a story of young girl who was handed a mic on a Sunday night at a church where my husband was to speak. This story came to my remembrance after watching a video from my Facebook feed. Sometimes I regret clicking on these videos for all the time burned watching them. This one was different – a little girl singing Amazing Grace with a voice mature beyond her years and a poise also of a strikingly older girl as well.

Not so with the girl in my story. She walked up to the podium with more courage than poise. She was a 5th or 6th grader, lacking the fashion-sense of an older middle schooler. Thin, a bit thrown-together in her clothing choices, and her hair a little wild in someone’s harried attempt to bring it under control for this occasion.

I was cringing a little as the minister of music handed her the mic and positioned her on the stage. It had the feel of a darling little girl who might have asked for this opportunity, not having proved herself previously, but a decision based on kindness. Now, her eyes were wide with the reality of the moment.

She sang without benefit of words before her…and actually sang fairly well through the first two verses of Amazing Grace. Her face was expression-less as she stared out into the congregation (maybe having had the coaching of “just look at heads, not faces” to still any fear she might have had).

“Amazing grace! (how sweet the sound)
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believ’d!”

And then came the third memory-making verse…she sang the first two lines as she’d sung the previous verses. Standing straight, with her little shoulders squared, staring with resolve into the audience:

“Thro’ many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;”

And then she stopped. Frozen. It was obvious she could not, for the life of her, remember what came next.

Probably every adult in that church knew what words came next. This song has been a part of church tradition for centuries. We know this song. I think every one of us sat up, leaned forward, and did all we could to will those words back in her mind. Some of us might have even prayed for her. I was searching the front of the church for her parents, a teacher, the minister of music. If there were any mouthing the words for her, she did not see them – her eyes transfixed on the crowd in front of her.

And then, after what seemed an eternity, with no observable change at all in her face or posture, she found the words:

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

Glory! A collective sense of relief washed over the people. And right then, if not before, we worshipped. In fact, I have probably not experienced any more rich a moment of corporate worship as when those words tumbled out of her mouth.

It’s grace. All grace really…that brings us safe thus far. And grace will lead us home.

I honestly can’t remember if she sang the last verse alone…or if we joined her. Whichever it was, with tears in many of our eyes, we silently or loudly, sang the rest with her. This little girl, with a mic, and a moment of grand deliverance. Thanks be to God.

“When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’ve first begun.”

YouTube of little girl singing Amazing Grace

Short Documentary on the Story Behind the Song Amazing Grace

The complete verses of Amazing Grace by John Newton

Wikipedia article on Amazing Grace (with lyrics)