Being a nurse was my ambition since childhood. I would wake up from dreams of helping at some accident scene or comforting a wounded soldier fresh from the battlefield. Those dreams, though wildly romantic at the time, actually preceded real life situations as time passed. Nursing became a platform for a career full of purpose and meaning. I completed my formal nursing education with a Master’s in Medical-Surgical Nursing, with a concentration in Cancer Nursing. My grand idea of going out and changing the world was rapidly unfolding.
Fast-forward to a decade later. Married and pregnant with our second child, I had my feet firmly planted in two worlds. One was nursing, and the other was being a wife and mom. We were living in a mid-sized town, and I was the clinical nursing specialist for a highly regarded cancer center. It was some of the most rewarding work of my life – to be a part of a great group of nurses and serving patients and families in intense situations. It was a consummately gratifying work season for me.
In fact, just as I was nearing the time of delivery of my little one, the president of the medical center called me in asked if I would consider being the director of the cancer center. It was an offer of a lifetime.
My husband did not think so. While I was intoxicated with all the feelings of approval and appreciation from that job offer (some of that could have been my pregnancy hormones), he helped me come to my senses. From the beginning of our marriage, we had worked out the values we wanted as a family. We would be judicious in our finances and he would work toward my being able to stay home with our children. I wanted this as much as he did…in the beginning. When we had our first child however, I was still so in love with my career that I managed to cajole him into agreeing with my continuing to work outside the home 20 hours a week.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love our daughter completely; I did with all my heart. Mothering and keeping a home, however, were much harder for me than any challenge I faced at work. One component of that was the whole team aspect of my workplace. We sorted out things together. I loved that. At home, far from our families, I felt very much alone with figuring out things, facing my inadequacies and insecurities at raising a child. In reality, God was always there; once I corrected my focus, I experienced Him there.
When we conceived our second child, my husband and I had re-visited our commitments to family. We had again decided that this time around I would stay home with our two precious ones. This time, I wasn’t going to look back. Then this job offer came along. My husband’s reply that I remember to this day was, “Ask him if he had a mother.”
So…I said no to that job, and yes to homemaking and fulltime mothering for the too short season it turned out to be. Not every woman reading this has had that opportunity, and I understand. What I came away with was two careers, both of which, once I embraced that each has its season, have been sources of great joy. Someone else can direct the business of a cancer center. I had the opportunity to mother our kiddos fulltime, and I’m thankful God gave me that season at home with them.
