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Addicted to Distraction and the Possibility of Restoring a Longer Attention Span

March 15, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: DIY Genius

Recently I was at a training event in a remote area where I had no cell phone service and limited internet. It meant I went through stressful training and at the same time experienced a forced exile from screen time. I don’t even have to tell you which was more challenging.

Growing up in my generation was very different than now – playing outside until dark, talking for hours on the phone with friends, falling asleep to the comforting drone of Mom and Dad talking and laughing in their bedroom down the hall. If you’ve ever seen the 1999 film October Sky, it makes me think of Dave’s growing up also – playing in the woods, biking everywhere, building rockets, hunting and fishing.Photo Credit: Jeffs60s

We are enjoying different advantages now for sure…I wonder how our grandchildren will one day describe their childhood. Having computers and the internet have been amazing assets to our lives. The dilemma is when our screen life becomes more engaging that our real life. When “Facetime” replaces face-to-face time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the opportunity to see people via phone. For instance, friends of ours who got married recently had a small wedding, BUT they had a friend live-stream the wedding and all the rest of us got to “be there” via Periscope. Saw the kiss and everything.

There is something to be said about all the electronic capabilities we have today. For sure.Photo Credit: LittleRedFrench

The problem is when objects take command of our lives. These screens (phones, TV, computers) eat up so much of our day. Also, what about when we start exchanging real time relationships with the barest minimum associations via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter? When a friend decided to go off Facebook, I was bummed… At that time, she lived 6 minutes from me. Not like my friends in Morocco or Egypt where I depend most on Facebook to keep up with them. She lives right here in town. We can have real coffee’s and real talks on the phone. Sigh… I had pretty much relegated keeping up with her to social media. Now we’re back affiliated only in real life where I might need to call her. Imagine.

I’ve written about this before (here) and want to manage my life better in this area. Multi-tasking was always something I thought was a strength, but now, getting older, it hasn’t helped me develop much of an attention span (see Charlie Munger’s thoughts on this here). It makes sense that thinking long and hard on something would have a powerful impact on our success or decision-making. Focus. Concentration. These are the things that have suffered in my life with all the distractions.

Kyle Pearce wrote a small piece on being distracted and introduced me to the work of Nicholas Carr (who wrote The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains and The Glass Cage: How Our Computers Are Changing Us). The 4-minute YouTube video below describes some of what he writes about:

Besides managing the distractedness in thinking, memory, and processing information, I want to nurture a habit of deep conversation. Sherry Turkle (author of Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other and Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age) writes about this and gives me hope.

Photo Credit: QuotesGram

Turkle admits she loves computers because they have helped her make tremendous strides in writing, but they are not people. She writes as if she’s reading my heart. This disconnected connection we experience with one another is so illusory.

“Networked, we are together, but so lessened are our expectations of each other that we can feel utterly alone. And there is the risk that we come to see others as objects to be accessed—and only for the parts we find useful, comforting, or amusing.” – Sherry Turkle

Here’s my hope and vision – to re-learn how to really be connected with people, including myself. To practice solitude. To quit living the excuse of being distractible. To learn how to think and work deeply, and to remember how to have deep, thoughtful conversations again.

I’m not prepared to stop using my phone for information, nor am I able to quit using the internet as a resource for work and life, but it’s entirely possible to restrict connection time. Also, it’s exciting to think of how I might use that time I waste on the internet to actually be with friends and loved ones…to read more books…to rediscover what is right in front of me in real life…to know what it’s like to have (and enjoy) a quiet mind.

“The good news is that the process of withdrawal is simple and the healing is spontaneous; because it is only the continuous high volume consumption of mass media that is keeping us sick. So, at root, the detox programme is merely a matter of Just. Say. No.” – Bruce G. Charlton

What might the next generation be like if our grandchildren are nurtured in this way? How can we help them have such mental muscle and true sociability that they could avoid being addicted to distraction?

It’s something to think about…off-line. Gone to find a real face and give that face my full attention.

Distracted? This is How the Internet is Changing Your Brain by Kyle Pearce

Multitasking – Giving the World an Advantage It Shouldn’t Have – Farnam Street Blog

Are We Addicted to Distraction? by Sophie at LittleRedFrench

The Distraction Addiction: Getting the Information You Need and the Communication You Want, Without Enraging Your Family, Annoying Your Colleagues, and Destroying Your Soul by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang

Addicted to Distraction: Psychological Consequences of the Modern Mass Media by Bruce G. Charlton

The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr

The Glass Cage: How Our Computers Are Changing Us by Nicholas Carr

Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other by Sherry Turkle

Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport

Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business by Neil Postman – originally written in 1985, brilliantly prophetic of the future (updated in 2015)

Attending or Focus, Community, Conversations, creativity, Critical Thinking, Disney Animation, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Pixar, Relationships, work, Work Culture, Workplace or Marketplace

Monday Morning Moment – Creativity in Community – the Skill of the Future

March 14, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Creative Skills for Life

When you hear the word “creatives”, you might immediately think of 20- or 30-somethings. They are classed as young “color-outside-the-lines” right-brain “think-outside-the-box” sorts of folks…who sometimes make the rest of us nuts. You might think of the artists, writers, and musicians out there. However, in truth, creatives include all those people who solves problems, including the ones who set up problems and then solve them. They are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the designers, the planners who have the capacity to make our lives better…to even make the world better.

Hanneke Siebelink (of LeadershipWatch) just wrote a piece on the top skills of the future. She pointed to a graphic from the World Economic Forum which showed, over the course of 5 years, how creativity will jump from #10 to #3 in a Top 10 Skills List.Photo Credit: WEForum.org

What does that sort of creativity entail? Is creativity alone enough?

Richard Florida wrote extensively on this in his book The Rise of the Creative Class. He defines the Creative Class as “people in science and engineering, architecture and design, education, arts, music and entertainment whose economic function is to create new ideas, new technology, and new creative content.” – Business Insider

Writer Jeff Goins also defines “creatives”:

A creative is an artist. Not just a painter or musician or writer. She is someone who sees the world a little differently than others.

A creative is an individual. He is unique, someone who doesn’t quite fit into any box. Some think of creatives as iconoclasts; others see them as rebels. Both are quite apt.

A creative is a thought leader. He influences people not necessarily through personality but through his innate gifts and talents.

As fascinating as Florida’s writing is, I disagree with his premise that creatives are their own class of people, because I believe it’s within any of us to develop our capacity for creativity. Those of us who might be suspect of Florida’s promotion of the Creative Class would do well to read the critiques of his thinking (this and also this are excellent).

When people in our communities or workplaces class themselves as distinctively creative, they tend to operate in a tribal fashion. These tribes may even be quite diverse, but too often, I believe, they operate to satisfy their own needs and desires rather than that of the larger workplace or community. Thus in the workplace, decision-making is made by the few like-minded thinkers, that tribe of influential creatives. And communities? Where such a population of creative, expansive thinkers could enhance the appeal and value of a neighborhood, too often, , and communities can steer in the direction of gentrification, becoming less inclusive, making housing less accessible even for those who were there before.

Photo Credit: AZQuotes

My bias in how creatives work best is in community – not just a tribe of creatives, but in a community of folks with other giftings, other strengths,and other history.

However, all that being said, I do love the increasing view that creatives add value to any enterprise. My husband, for many years, was a research chemist who developed new products and was awarded several patents for his company. Even today, outside the chemical industry, he continues to be creative in thinking through new pathways toward solving problems, getting to goal, and developing personnel.

Even Florida in his revised and updated book recommends a compact dealing with creatives. His first (of 6 principles) is: Invest in Developing the Full Human Potential and Creative Capabilities of Every Single Human Being. It’s somewhat grandiose but it’s a worthy goal. Having this principle in play would promote a workforce where employees are encouraged to always be thinking and engaged in both today’s work and what changes must be made for the future.

Along these same lines, I love Howard Gardner’s Five Minds for the Future:Photo Credit: Slideshare

As creatives are sought after more and more in our workplaces (om both private and public sectors), I hope we also encourage them to build strengths in other areas of their thinking (or mindfulness). For those colleagues of ours who might not consider themselves creative, we need to communicate across organizations as to their value as well. This would include our creatives to gain from what other bring to the table.

I would like to think that I’m a creative…in ways, maybe, born out of time. Early on in my career, I had the privilege of working as a team with other colleagues in developing and implementing cancer care in a small town in the Southeast. It was thrilling for me to be part of such an innovative and comprehensive system of care where we could actually plan and dream for the future.

Three of us, in particular, worked as creatives in community. I was a content specialist and idea person. Kay was the nurse manager who brought vision and authority to the task. Kathy was a clinician with steely resolve and the determination to take the ideas to completion. We were a force to be reckoned with…just saying.

We all have different giftings and strengths. My influence was helpful but Kay’s authority settled matters. My ideas were large and lofty (sometimes), and Kathy’s keenness for how to make those ideas work were what brought them into reality.

That’s how creatives work in community. I think of top skills for the future that “in community” piece would be essential for creatives who want to make a lasting difference…not just for their own purposes at work but for the benefit of the larger community.

A hugely successful example of this is the work culture and philosophy of Pixar & Disney Animation which I wrote about here.

Daan Roosegaarde in Siebelink’s article talks about creativity in community: “There are two ways to turn an idea into reality. You can play bowling, or you can play ping pong. The old way, at least that is what I think, is bowling. You have that ball in your hand and it’s so big, it is so heavy, it shines so beautifully. Then you throw that bowling ball and pray it will hit target.

I no longer believe this is a good way to create and innovate. I believe in playing ping pong: you take a tiny little ball, not expensive, and there you go: poek poek poek poek … and you create something together. And THAT is nice, this is how I create, this is how I learn.”

Bring on these kinds of creatives any day!

Skills of the Future: The Best Expert Advice on Creativity

The Rise of the Creative Class — Revisited (Revised and Expanded) by Richard Florida

The Creative Compact – Richard Florida – Huffington Post

Creativity – the Unique Soft Skill – Slideshare

6 Ways to Make Your Leadership and Workplace Fun Again

Creativity, Inc. – Overcoming the Unseen Forces that Stand in the Way of True Inspiration by Ed Catmull

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Community, Conversations, Courage, Cross-Cultural, Culture & Religion, Displaced Peoples, Food & Drink, Friends, Friendship, Grief and Loss, Hospitality, Kindness of Strangers, Love Your Neighbor, Neighbors, new beginning, Remembering, Stories

Bosna Market & Deli – Great Food and a Flashback to Old Friends and a Distant War

March 12, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

We have all had those days…when a bite of food can take you back and sometimes a far off. Here’s my flight of memories from today.

I am intrigued by all the international restaurants in our city. When a new one opens, it’s always appealing to try it, at least once. Bosna Market & Deli has been open a few months, and finally our son, Daniel, and I pulled in to check it out for lunch.

We loved it right from the front door. A sign was posted on the door different than any restaurant sign I had ever seen:

Right there we wanted to be customers.

This being our first time, the sole attendant (may have been the owner; wish now I had asked) helped us make our selection. We chose a cheese burek and a spinach burek.

The cheese burek took me back to our sweet years in Cairo, Egypt. It reminded me so much of the filo pastry filled with cheese (or meat and cheese). There it is called goulash (picture below).Photo Credit: Pinterest

As I ate that Bosnian savory, my mind linked this experience with a taxi ride in Cairo, years ago. It was during a time that the US had made some unpopular political decisions in the Middle East, and being American could lead to lots of awkward conversations. We still felt very safe but having learned Arabic we were often drawn into conversations where we were asked to explain our government’s decisions…as if we could.

In that taxi, that day, riding with two young Egyptian friends, the taxi driver launched into conversation with them first, and then, when he saw I was understanding, he included me. World politics rose to the top of the conversation, and, seeing I was very definitely foreign, he asked where I was from.

Before I could answer, one of my friends whispered to me in English, “Tell him you’re from Bosnia!” What?! I knew he was very animated and didn’t like America so much right then…but why Bosnia? She answered for me. Later, they told me that everyone was sympathetic toward Bosnia because of the war and that I wouldn’t have to talk about America to an unsympathetic Egyptian man.

Other than seeing news reports on TV and online, that was my first occasion to confront what it was like for the Bosnians. It was the first time I even thought about them, to be honest, I am ashamed to say. The war was over by then, and it was confusing what really happened [I have since read much more about it].

Using the Bosnian nationality was to give me a break from being judged as the rich American that day…how strange was that?!

Then a few years later, when we were living in Casablanca, Morocco, I had the great blessing of meeting and becoming friends with this captivating Bosnian woman. She and her husband immigrated to Morocco after the war. We met through an international English class which I facilitated. All us women had so much fun together, swapping stories in English, Arabic, and French sometimes.

Our Bosnian friend also had fun stories…but when the conversation turned to her experiences of the war, we listened quietly…to unbelievable acts of hatred from one people toward another. The Bosnian Muslims were victims of a severe ethnic cleansing, and the losses they experienced were beyond imagination.

[Sidebar – enjoying the Bosnian lunch back home with my memories stirred, I wanted to refresh my memory of the war, so read online awhile about those terrible atrocities…and the stories of kindness from strangers.]

Mallory Merda wrote a series of articles on a Bosnian family for The Sentinel, the local newspaper of Carlisle, Pennsylvania. After the war, Bosnian refugees settled in Europe and around the Mediterranean Sea. Some however came all the way to the US. One couple, Semsa & Zehrid Alic, with two small boys, settled many years ago in Carlisle.

You can read some of their story in Merda’s articles (link below)…the accounts are fascinating and thought-provoking. The Alic boys are now young men, and the family is American. There is still the horror of war in their memory…and the cost of it lingers. There stories are like so many others – people displaced from their countries, their families, the lives they had before. How glad I am that they had sponsors in the US, just regular people like you and me, who helped them, loved them toward a new life here…a different life and a new beginning.Photo Credit: The Sentinel

So this is how my mind works…distractable at best. Where it takes me in a day is sometimes where this blog goes.

If you have a Bosnian restaurant near you, you are in for a treat. Our food today was magnificent, and we will be back. I am hoping the next time to hear something of that Bosnian family who own the restaurant, here in Richmond, and of their journey to this hopefully peaceful place.

As we enjoyed their savory “made fresh every morning” food, I hoped they have experienced love from their neighbors here. I also hope they know that, now that we know what happened, we won’t forget either.

Bosna Market and Deli

Semsa Alic Finds Her Peace After Surviving Bosnian War

Farewell to Bosnia – See entire series of blogs on Bosnia – Genocide Prevention

Photo Credit: Alan Grant

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5 Friday Faves – Antidepressant Soil, Signs of Spring, Farewell to Downton Abbey, Single Most Important Habit, and Roaring Lambs

March 11, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Happy Friday! Here we are entering the weekend when our Daylight Savings Time springs forward to longer days of sunshine. This beautiful season launches with St. Patrick’s Day and an early Palm Sunday and Easter. It’s such a sweet time of year. Our weekend in Richmond is supposed to be beautiful with lots of opportunity to plan outings and plant gardens.

1) Antidepressant Soil – I came across this article on antidepressant microbes in soil and was intrigued. My husband loves to garden.As hard as he works out there, he always comes in with such a joyful satisfaction, I wonder if this article might actually be true. What do you think?

http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/garden-how-to/soil-fertilizers/antidepressant-microbes-soil.htm

2) Signs of Spring – The morning sky, the changeable weather, and all the new growth are cause for wonder. The sunrises amaze me how they change with the seasons in their glorious presentations.Photo Credit: Bekkah Mills (Beach Sunrise) & me

3) Farewell to Downton Abbey – Although the BBC show finished at Christmas 2015, we can manage here in the US to watch it through to its finale without knowing how it ended 3 months prior. The finale episode of this upstairs-downstairs story, set in a Victorian England manor house, was lovely and completely satisfying. All sorts of resolution to the different storylines. A wedding, babies, and NO deaths. Finally, in the end, DA creator, Julian Fellowes “let Edith be happy“. So hopefully you’ve all seen the last episode, otherwise the photo below becomes a spoiler. If you’re not already a fan, I hope you’ll catch up with the family and servants of Downton Abbey sometime over a beach week. 6 great seasons. You won’t be disappointed. The thought of that reminds me of our occasional Pride and Prejudice weekend marathons with friends when our daughter was a teenager at home overseas. Such a lovely diversion…

Even our son Nathan, who usually watches something altogether different on Sunday night TV, honored Downton Abbey with an arrangement on classical guitar. Enjoy.

4) Single Most Important Habit – So what do you think might be considered the single most important habit of our lives? Probably not the one David Mathis marks as a keystone habit – that is, “simple, but catalytic new routines that inspire other fresh patterns of behavior”. He contends that for Christ-followers that single most important habit is corporate worship.

David states: “God didn’t make us to live as solitary individuals. Neglecting corporate worship sows seeds of unbelief in our soul.”

Let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:24–25)

This isn’t just a casual hanging out with each other, nor is it merely church attendance. This is a community of Christ-followers attending to the teaching of God’s Word, agreeing together in prayer, and joining together in response to God’s love, goodness, and sovereignty in all of life…through the singing of songs and the witness of His faithfulness in each of our lives.

Photo Image: UMC Discipleship

It’s definitely something to consider for our spiritual maturing when staying in bed or making other plans seem so much more inviting, at first, than gathering with other imperfect people who know how much we need God. At first…Something to consider…

5) Roaring Lambs – Lastly, I just want to give a shout-out to those people in my life and whom I know through their writing and other celebrity who live their faith wherever they are.

Photo Credit: The Salt Collective

The bus driver, the clerk in the doctor’s office, the TV producer, the teacher, the mail carrier, the retired person, or the [fill in the blank]. Those people in our lives in whom we see the love of Jesus, the excellence of effort, and the tenacity of a life poured out for others. Not baiting and switching, but day in/day out, living their lives with honesty and transparency, faithful to God, loving as He calls us to love. Thank you. Thank God for you.

Bob Briner’s Roaring Lambs: A Gentle Plan to Radically Change Your World

Johnny Hart’s I Did It His Way – celebrated comic strip creator who mixes his faith with his humor. Not in every strip, but from time to time…”drawing” attention to God, Creator and Redeemer, while depicting stories of early (pre-historical) men and women.

They Said I Should Be a Roaring Lamb by Jesse James DeConto

Books, Community, Conversations, Faithfulness, Gospel, Inspired, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Remembering, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transformational, Walk with God, Word of God, Writing

Contentment & Other Lessons – the Legacy of Jerry Bridges

March 10, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: AZQuotes

This week, we lost a giant of the faith. At 86, Jerry Bridges went to be with the Lord he loved and knew so well. Working with The Navigators for most of his life, he was unflagging in his pursuit of God. He also had this great gift of writing with such clarity and simplicity that we could soak up these truths with life-changing certainty.

I was in my 30’s, and a new mom, when Jerry’s book The Practice of Godliness transformed my life. This was during a season of discontent which I’ve written about here. Bridges’ gentle, humble writing kept me from taking offense – “He doesn’t know what it’s like for me!” – and I learned contentment in life (still learning but it was Jerry Bridges that helped me on that journey). Just today, another great article on contentment popped up in my social media and…I am still learning.

In honoring the impact this man has had on my life and thousands of others, I’d like to post some of his quotes (from the quote sources in the links below). Learn from this dear brother even as he’s right now in the presence of God.

“This is the secret of being content: To learn and accept that we live daily by God’s unmerited favor given through Christ, and that we can respond to any and every situation by His divine enablement through the Holy Spirit.” – Jerry Bridges, AZ Quotes

“Contentment is one of the most distinguishing traits of the Godly person, because a Godly person has his heart focused on God rather than on possessions or position or power.” – Jerry Bridges, LikeSuccess

“Lord, I am willing To receive what You give. To lack what You withhold. To relinquish what You take, To suffer what You inflict, To be what you require.” – Jerry Bridges, AZ Quotes

“Grace is never cheap. It is absolutely free to us, but infinitely expensive to God… Anyone who is prone to use grace as a license for irresponsible, sinful behavior, surely does not appreciate the infinite price God paid to give us His grace.” – Jerry Bridges, AZ Quotes

“Every day that we’re not practicing godliness we’re being conformed to the world of ungodliness around us.” – Jerry Bridges, Top Famous Quotes

“Nothing cuts the nerve of the desire to pursue holiness as much as a sense of guilt. On the contrary, nothing so motivates us to deal with sin in our lives as does the understanding and application of the two truth that our sins are forgiven and the dominion of sin is broken because of our union with Christ.” – Jerry Bridges, Top Famous Quotes

“Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.” – Jerry Bridges, AZ Quotes

“One thing we may be sure of, however: For the believer all pain has meaning; all adversity is profitable. There is no question that adversity is difficult. It usually takes us by surprise and seems to strike where we are most vulnerable. To us it often appears completely senseless and irrational, but to God none of it is either senseless or irrational. He has a purpose in every pain He brings or allows in our lives. We can be sure that in some way He intends it for our profit and His glory.” – Jerry Bridges, AZ Quotes

By my bedside right now is Jerry Bridges’ book The Fruitful Life. After all these years, that young mother, with children now grown, is still learning from Jerry Bridges. I wonder who young mothers learn from today. Especially, I wonder who my children are reading these days. [You can borrow our copies of these books, Loves.]

So thankful for the humble faithfulness of Jerry Bridges and others like him who laid out the truths of God in ways that point us to a deeper life with Him. May it be said of some of us that we did the same for the next generations.

Photo Credit: LikeSuccess

Jerry Bridges (1929-2016) – a Brief Biography by Justin Taylor

Jerry Bridges (1929-2016): Five Lessons from a Remarkable Life of Faith – Interview (Audio & Transcript)

The Pursuit of Holiness: Run in Such a Way as to Get the Prize – 1 Corinthians 9:24 by Jerry Bridges

The Practice of Godliness: Godliness Have Value for All Things by Jerry Bridges

The Fruitful Life: The Overflow of God’s Love Through You by Jerry Bridges

Satisfaction & Contentment – a Journey and a Destination

Hope for the Unhappy Christian

Top Jerry Bridges Quotes

Quotes by Jerry Bridges

Jerry Bridges Quotes

Conversations, Crucifixion, God, Gospel, Jesus, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Redeeming & Restoring, Walk with God, Wednesday Worship, Word of God, Worship

Worship Wednesday – What I Stake My Life On – Now and Forever – This I Believe – Hillsong

March 9, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. – 1 Corinthians 15:3-6

I cannot begin to adequately describe what it is like for me to know God.

An image that keeps coming to mind is that first deep breath, and those breaths following, after holding your breath or not being able to breathe. Or when black-and-white TV went to color. Or that hand pulling you up or out of danger. Still…all of these analogies fail.

As young children, we had no religious education or indoctrination. I wasn’t “born” a Christian. In fact, the word “Christian” as it is used in society today pales in the experience of God in the life of a person.

Jesus wasn’t the founder of a religion. It was never about religion. In the unity of the Godhead, He has always been. He entered our history, as a man, sent from the Father, to bring the character, the very person-hood of God, up close to us. He came to give us the way to come close to God. To be restored. To be His child.

For me, knowing the abandonment of a father, to be sought after by God, was inconceivably kind. To know His forgiveness, when I faced the weight of my own relentless sin, was to experience unimaginable freedom – as if pardoned from a prison of my own making.

I thank God for what He did for me…and what He is to me today.

On Sunday, at Movement Church, we sang a song from Hillsong entitled This I Believe. It got me thinking about how we all have belief systems of some sort or another. “That’s fine for you” is a statement that often precedes “, but I believe…”

There are so many opinions about God out there…including opinions that deny the existence of God altogether. The writers of Scripture didn’t just pen their beliefs. They heard God speak and watched Him act in miraculous ways (Old Testament). They saw Jesus speak with supernatural authority, and engage with people in gripping, loving and compelling ways (New Testament).

The Apostle’s Creed is a centuries-old description of the faith of those who follow Christ. It’s taken from Scripture, from Jesus’ life and teaching, and his apostles’ own witness. It was adapted by Hillsong, as the Believer’s Creed, in the song This I Believe).

Man-made religions separate and label people…dividing us into camps of varying beliefs around 4 universal questions – Origin (Where did we come from?); 2) Purpose (Why are we here?); 3) Morality (How do we determine right or wrong?); and 4) Destiny (What happens when we die?). Religion answers these questions in varying, inconsistent ways.

Jesus does not bring us to a religion. He brings us to a relationship – with God Himself. Through His life, teaching, death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus has answered my questions. Some things I won’t understand until Heaven…but what I do understand now in this journey with God colors everything…and gives me peace and hope.

Rich Mullins, singer/songwriter, like Hillsong, wrote about God in his song Creed. The chorus so resonates with where I am today:

“And I believe what I believe
Is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not
The invention of any man” – Rich Mullins, Creed

If you have read this far, you probably have a similar understanding of God. Or maybe, you are searching for truth yourself… search it out. You won’t find it in my opinion or someone else’s (as you have already discovered)…but you can find it…you can find God. This has been my experience…for which I’m eternally grateful.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
– Romans 10:9

Worship with me.

Our Father everlasting
The all creating One
God Almighty

Through Your Holy Spirit
Conceiving Christ the Son
Jesus our Savior

I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus

Our Judge and our Defender
Suffered and crucified
Forgiveness is in You

Descended into darkness
You rose in glorious life
Forever seated high

I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus

I believe in You
I believe You rose again
I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord
[x2]I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus
[x2]

For I believe in the name of Jesus
For I believe in the name of Jesus

I believe in life eternal
I believe in the virgin birth
I believe in the saints’ communion
And in Your holy Church
I believe in the resurrection
When Jesus comes again
For I believe, in the name of Jesus

I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is three in one
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the name of Jesus
[x2]For I believe in the name of Jesus.

[Songwriters – Ben Fielding & Matt Crocker – No Other Name album]

YouTube Video – Hillsong Worship – This I Believe (The Creed) Story Behind the Song

What Is the Apostles’ Creed?

The Creed According to Hillsong – Sacred Wrightings – Insightful article on what’s left out of the Apostles’ Creed in Hillsong’s lyric & should it have been

YouTube Video – Creed by Third Day with Brandon Heath (a Tribute to Rich Mullins)

YouTube Video – Rich Mullins Creed

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Monday Morning Moment – Them and Us, How Can That Be? Could Them and Us Become a We?

March 7, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Delta 7

Recently, I was in an odd conversation with a friend from work. The more we talked, the more we sounded like a Dr. Seuss book. It went something like this:

“I don’t know how to be us with them. To be with them is to just be them. We must lose us; us no more will be. There’s no us in them; it’s so strange to me. How can they be them, with no us, you see? To give up us is too hard for me. So I can’t see a way to get to we.”

[Seriously, the conversation went like that…but better.]

Battling the us-them assignation is an ongoing workplace discipline. Even in the happiest, coolest companies, there is still an intentionality to keep work life positive for every employee. That inclusiveness is a hallmark for high morale and low walls (read: no silos).

Photo Credit: Prolearn-Academy

In a work culture where silos still exist, an us/them mentality can grow as each team or department draws in on itself and ignores or suspects the actions/values of others. It’s not a healthy situation for any of us…whether it’s the executive team insulated from others or the [fill in the blank] team hunkered down in its own mode of trying to survive. The first can be as unaware as the subject of the story “The Emperor’s New Clothes“, the second, well, is just miserable, and growing more so by the pay period.

So much has been written on this problem in the workplace – about that culture where us/them thinking and operations color productivity and morale. I have included several links below describing various recommendations and protocols to restore health to such organizations.

Photo Credit: My Turnstone

I’ve always been that person who says, “Why can’t we just all get along?” In reality, we don’t have that situation always, but we can grease the tracks in that direction. Here are my own workplace rules regarding moving us and them to we:

Make a practice of assuming the best of your bosses and colleagues. “Refuse to think ill of others” is my goal…and my accuracy in hitting that goal comes with practice and determination…and grace.
Lean in to those with whom you struggle the most – the “thems” in your worklife. Especially the most powerful ones. Study them. Learn their language. Know them as well as you can. NOT for self-serving reasons, but for the benefit of the work itself. Any motive that only serves your personal situation will only make matters worse… ‘Nuff said.
Refuse to get caught up in us/them complaining. Don’t make a big deal about it, but do your best to turn the conversation toward a positive end, change the subject altogether, or bow out if all else fails. Those negative conversations just bring you and your colleagues down and don’t accomplish anything. A short-lived “misery loves company” satisfaction isn’t worth the fall-out of such conversations.
Bring down the silos, one brick at a time, if necessary. Maybe you aren’t experiencing any us/them anguish, but you know it exists. What can you do, individually and as a work team, to move to “we”? We have lots of work models out there for this. In fact, silos in the workplace are “so 80’s” (whatever that means…I hear it a lot, so I’m using it here). Use some of that meeting time, or talks over coffee, to be creative in how you can work better across teams…how you can learn more from each other…how you can defuse territoriality? If the “them” is management, you initiate dialog on setting work culture values that maximizes product excellence and employee engagement.
Put processes in place – through your culture – to keep silos down. I would love to hear what your situation is and how you are making positive steps to grow/keep a healthy culture. Please comment below.

Sure…there are times we need to process a difficult situation at work with a trusted friend. Yes, us/them scenarios are painful…and wrong, honestly…especially in the workplace where we are meant to have shared goals, working toward the same outcomes. Maybe, the us/them relationships in a company are too distracting and we can’t see any solution (back to the Dr. Seuss-like conversation above). In that case, it’s possible we look outside our company for another situation. However, you take with you a piece of the us/them dilemma. You take you along to the next job. Better to develop muscle memory on how to “be we”, whenever possible, right where we are.

[Sidebar: I’ve written a lot about work culture – too many to mention – but you can search work culture under Blog – Deb Mills and learn as I have about what is possible if we stay engaged in our workplace.]

Photo Credit: Buffer

Overcoming Us vs. Them Challenges

Breaking the “Us and Them” Culture

How to Avoid Us vs. Them – Huffington Post

The 10 Buffer Values and How We Act on Them Every Day

The 4 Elements That Make Great Company Culture

How to Save a Broken Work Culture

From Us and Them to We Participative Organizational Culture

Them and us – How to use Trust as a Competitive Advantage

How CEOs Can End an Us Them Mentality

Us vs. Them – a Simple Recipe to Prevent Strong Society from Forming

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5 Friday Faves – Scholarships, Dr. Seuss, Mt. Airy, the Last Words of Joey Feek, and Spring

March 5, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Friday Faves posted on Saturday this week – that’s how fast the week flew by. So here they are – would love to hear about your favorite finds or passings of time…

1) Scholarships – Christopher Gray has a success story which he wants to make possible for all students who want a college education. Growing up in Birmingham, Alabama, he had no money to pursue education past high school. He then began the tedious, tiresome work of applying for every possible scholarship that he might be a qualified recipient. He ended up with over $1 million in gifts. He obviously was able then to complete his college education. Photo Credit: My Scholly

While still in school, Gray developed an app he called Scholly to make a scholarship search much easier for other students. Learn more from Christopher Gray through his website and Twitter pages (@cgray91 and @myscholly). Also take a look at the Youtube video produced by Cadillac in its #DaringGreatly series.

2) Dr. Seuss – March 4 is the birthdate of Theodor Seuss Geisel, or Dr. Seuss, as we know him. He wrote so many great children’s books that we adult readers love as well. My favorite is Oh, the Places You’ll Go! What is your favorite Dr. Seuss book? Chris Martin wrote a 10-favorite-quotes blog commemorating this special day. Of his favorites, mine is: “I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

Happy birthday, Dr. Seuss!Photo Credit: Millennial Evangelical

3) Mt. Airy, North Carolina – There’s this tiny town in North Carolina close to the Virginia stateline. It’s renowned as the inspiration for the town of Mayberry from The Andy Griffith Show of the 1960’s. I loved that old TV show and had the privilege of visiting Mt. Airy recently. It was so lovely.

From the townspeople (we met two elderly sisters who manage their late father’s novelty shop “now onto 65 years”) – to the window displays of quilts and other crafts, to reminders of that old TV show, to bakeshops.

Angela Shur‘s pies and other baked goods are a feast for the eyes and the tummy…

4) The Last Words of Joey Feek – Hard to put this in a favorite except to honor the passing of this remarkable woman… Joey Feek died yesterday…or better said, she went Home. Joey was half of the Grammy-winning country duo Joey + Rory. She is this beautiful, classy, Godly woman who will break your heart in two with her country-deep voice. I actually hadn’t heard of them until sometime last year when the news of her cancer coming back made it into my newsfeed. Her husband Rory writes a poignant, strong-loving blog about their life and this journey through cancer. His writing helped me know her and I’m so grateful.Photo Credit: Daily Entertainment News

He writes about her last words: One of the last things Joey said before she drifted into the deep sleep she’s been in for a few days now is, “I have no regrets… I can honestly say, that I have done everything I wanted to do and lived the life I always wanted to live”. At the young age of 40, with this man she loves and her darling 2 y/o daughter to leave behind, that is an amazing testament of a life well-lived. [Scroll to the bottom of Rory’s blog for a slideshow of Joey, to their song In The Time That You Gave Me.]

Joey Feek was one who recognized the extraordinary gift life is and the extraordinary nature of God and His love for us, Sometimes, people like Joey do things that, looking back, seem very much like a premonition or foreshadowing. They see something that others don’t see. Joey Feek’s singing of When I’m Gone came before her cancer diagnosis…but has that feeling of knowing what was ahead…for all of us, in one way or another…

Rory’s Blog the Day Joey Died – So Beautiful with a Video of Joey

5) Spring – Spring is near…as Joey Feek anticipated the blooming of flowers in Tennessee and wanted her husband to be there for them…we can’t do anything but rejoice in this, another, coming of Spring. Thank You, God, for this life…Photo Credit: Country Road by Lois Martin

Alzheimer's Disease, Attending or Focus, Books, Communication, Critical Thinking, Dad, Friday Faves, Growing up, Guitar, Healing, Inspired, Leadership, Life Skills, Relationships, Skills, Transformational, work, Workplace Culture

5 Friday Faves – Emotional Intelligence, Hand Massage, a TV Commercial, 40% Rule, Zelda – & a Bonus

February 26, 2016 admindeb 4 Comments

Friday is here again…and I’m looking back over another week that went by in a blur. Glad to share some of the discoveries of this past week. Would love to hear about your week’s finds (comment below).

1) Emotional Intelligence – This is a concept that’s been around for awhile now, but I never really read about it until this week. Matt Monge’s article for The Mojo Company sparked my interest. He described 6 symptoms of leaders with low emotional intelligence. Here’s the definition: “Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor one’s own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.”

Two of Monge’s points were: 1) Leaders with low emotional intelligence say “I’m sorry you feel that way” more than “I’m sorry,” and 2) Leaders with low emotional intelligence often blame the people they hurt for the situations leading to them being hurt. Daniel Goleman has written several books on this topic including Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than Intelligence and Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. The very cool thing about emotional intelligence is that it can be developed. The big dilemma is whether bosses who tend not to be bothered by their impact on personnel would buy into this or not. Incorporating such concepts in personnel accountability metrics might provide some incentive. I’ve added graphics below that helped me further understand emotional intelligence.Photo Credit: Self Study History

Photo Credit: Dollie Slager

Photo Credit: The King and Queen

2) Hand Massage – My dad is 93 years old. He has Alzheimer’s. I can’t imagine he has ever had a hand massage in his whole adult life until this past week. The memory care unit which is now home to him has this lovely activities director. One of his first days there, she brought over two warm washcloths and wrapped both his hands. Then she began massaging each one. He just melted into a relaxed, soothed puddle. One of his repetitive actions is to scratch his hand which he does to distraction. Hand massage is such a thoughtful, therapeutic act. It never dawned on me to do such a thing. Midway down an excellent piece on Alzheimer’s by staff at University of Maryland, massage is recommended as treatment to calm these patients. So glad Dad is where he is with these engaged caregivers.

3) A TV Commercial – We all discover human interest videos through our social media sites. This is my favorite for the week. The #SharetheLoad video produced by Ariel (a washing detergent we used overseas) in India is beautiful. The message is a father’s regret that he modeled for his wife and daughter a very passive role in the home. Even as an older man (the commercial goes), he determined to make that right. Whether it happens or not in such homes today, the message is a powerful one.

4) 40% Rule – So I found this Fortune article on my Twitter feed. Sidd Finch wrote about Jesse Itzler’s encounter with David Goggins, a Navy Seal. during a 100-mile relay race. Goggins was running the entire race without relay partners. Itzler was so intrigued by this ultra-athlete that he actually invited him to live with Itzler’s family for a month. Out of this time together came the book Living with a SEAL: 31 Days Training with the Toughest Man on the Planet. Goggins taught Itzler about the Navy Seals’ 40% Rule.

Itzler explains, “He would say that when your mind is telling you you’re done, you’re really only 40 percent done. And he had a motto: If it doesn’t suck we don’t do it. And that was his way of forcing us to get uncomfortable to figure out what our baseline was and what our comfort level was and just turning it upside-down.”

“The 40% rule, the SEAL explained, is the reason why even though most people hit a wall at mile 16 during a marathon, they’re still able to finish.”

Photo Credit: Just Go Fitness

“I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.” – David Goggins

Photo Credit: AZ Quotes

5) Zelda – The Legend of Zelda is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year. I recently wrote briefly about it here. Koji Kondo wrote much of the music for the video game series. Photo Credit: Cogswell.edu

Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar has posted two covers so far to showcase how beautiful the music is and how well it’s captured on classical guitar. I wrote about the first cover previously, and here’s his second piece. Happy 30th Anniversary, Legend of Zelda.

HBR’s 10 Must Reads on Emotional Intelligence (with featured article “What Makes a Leader?” by Daniel Goleman)

10 Signs You Have Exceptional Mental Strength by Jessica Stillman

BONUS: If you got this far, you will be so rewarded! Very few people in my life watch American Idol, and this is its final (15th) season. I am not fond of the whole reality show murkiness of it, but the performances of these gifted young people and the judges (Keith Urban, Harry Connick, Jr., and Jennifer Lopez) are captivating as well. I want to post videos of two amazing performances from this week’s elimination show (elimination meaning the week the field of contestants narrows to the Top 10). The first video is that of La’Porsha Renae who may very well become the final American Idol. This one can sing!!!

We were overseas when American Idol’s first season aired. I don’t actually remember how I saw Kelly Clarkson in that competition, but I remember following her. She was the first American Idol winner, and the rest is history. To be honest, Kelly Clarkson was off my music listening grid…until now. The song she wrote and performed, Piece by Piece, deals with the painful subject of a father who deserted her as a young child. The song also celebrates the very different man she married, the faithful father of her daughter. This song may make you cry. Wow!

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Love Your Neighbor – the Audacity of Thinking We Are Always the Strong One…or the Weaker One

February 25, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: PostCalvinist

As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. – Romans 14:1

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. – Romans 15:1

Take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. – 1 Corinthians 8:9

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” – Jesus – Matthew 7:3-5

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.
– 1 Thessalonians 5:14

Whether you are a Christ-follower or not, there is so much wisdom in the teaching of Jesus and his apostles who wrote for the generations to follow.

Take his teaching on the weaker brother…his teaching is often directed to that “stronger brother”, but the wisdom is there for both of us. Through life, we may be one or the other, depending on how our thinking changes or how culture changes.

Many of the world religions require a certain works-based practice of those who would be devout. In Christianity, we are called to right living but we are not saved by right living. Because of what Jesus did to redeem us, we are free. Free to live, not under Law and its penalty when we fail, but to do righteousness out of love not obligation.

So what happens, when we experience the withering judgment of a seemingly legalistic “weaker” brother? Or on the flip side, the condescension of a “stronger” brother flaunting his freedom?

Social media (especially Facebook and Twitter) are brutally reflective of such biases, whatever our faith, culture, or politics. Here’s an area where I am that “weaker one”. Nowhere in Scripture are we forbidden generally from drinking alcoholic beverages. We are warned against drunkenness only. Years ago, I made a very conscious decision to stop drinking (for many reasons which may end up in my writing one day). Your drinking is not an issue for me…unless (here’s my weakness) it appears, through social media or from the pulpit, you flaunt your freedom in this way. I struggle with that. With so many of us, in the church and out, who have histories of addictions or loss related to addiction, I don’t understand that regaling of freedom. This is just one of my “weaker one” struggles. Any you want to share? Or “stronger one” struggles? We all have them.

Jesus and, in particular, the Apostle Paul are so clear on how we are to respond to each other – both weak and strong – with deference, love, and patience. Not enabling a legalistic clouding of what we are meant to have in Christ nor disabling our witness through arrogance or contempt.

In the article Who is the Weaker Brother? linked below, we are introduced to Garry Friesen’s teaching on the topic. In his book, Decision Making and the Will of God, he points to four areas where we are either weak, or strong: conviction, biblical knowledge, conscience or will. If we limit our definition to just one of these areas, we also may err in how we deal, in patience, with each other.

From the Scripture, Friesen gives what he considers is God’s definition of the weaker brother: “A weaker brother (or sister) is a Christian who, because of the weakness of his faith, knowledge, conscience, and will, can be influenced to sin against his conscience by the example of a differing stronger brother.”

He then offers a like definition of the stronger brother: “The stronger brother (or sister) is a Christian who, because of his understanding of Christian freedom and the strength of his conviction, exercises his liberty in good conscience without being improperly influenced by the differing opinions of others.”

Both of these definitions encourages us to live in the freedom that we have through Christ and at the same time to seek unity with one another, even when we don’t agree. Especially in the area of non-essential or disputable matters of preference.

One last distinction Friesen makes relates to what we see in Scripture as a “stumbling block”. This phrase is used in the active and passive. The stronger one in the faith is NOT to intentionally place a stumbling block in the path of a weaker one; i.e. not intentionally trying to influence a person to stumble, or sin. However, the weaker one is also NOT to take offense by the one who attempts to cause him to stumble. This is the beautiful teaching of Christ. The both/and of the Gospel. The call to love, no matter what.

Photo Credit: LionHeartEagle

Finally, in Adam Miller’s piece Mishandled – the Weaker Brother (linked below), he distinguishes between a truly weaker brother and three impostors. They are the legalistic weaker brother, the professional weaker brother, and the illusive weaker brother. Take the time to read these brief definitions of those of us who consider ourselves “weaker brothers” (or sisters) but who are really acting in ways that divide the church (or community). Miller also references one of the great sermons of D. A. Carson where he addresses those who would detract from the beautiful sufficiency of Christ to restore us to God.

When I think of how Christ calls us to love our neighbor, He calls us not just to those who are so like us we could see them in our own mirrors. He calls us to those “weaker” and “stronger” than us. It is an easy thing for me to love and hang out with those who agree with me. How much more God means for us to lean in to those with whom we struggle because of their life choices, or elevated (or demeaning) sense of self, or stations in life.

Can we do that…without compromising or stumbling in our faith? We can if our love for Christ is rock-solid and we allow Him to mark out the boundaries of our lives. If He is our example, He will fill our lives with both the weaker and the stronger…for our good and theirs, and for His glory…as He’s promised.

Who Is the Weaker Brother? Excellent Review of Garry Friesen’s book – Decision Making and the Will of God – on the Section Dealing With this Topic

Mishandled – The Weaker Brother (Part 2) by Adam Miller

The Weaker and Stronger Brothers (Parts 1, 2, and 3) by J. Gordon Duncan

How to Welcome a Weak Brother by John Piper

Go, Ye, Therefore and Be Enablers – This is a hair-raiser. A very different view than I have taken but one that may be familiar to you.

Decision Making and the Will of God – Garry Friesen – 25th Anniversary Expanded Edition