Tag Archives: Maureen Lee Lenker

Monday Morning Moment – the Perils of Social Media – That Post Might Not Have Been Meant For You

Photo Credit: Needpix, Geralt, Pixabay

Some years ago, I got tapped for the communications strategist role for a work team that was near and dear to my heart. It was a joy for me to wave the banner for our work – to raise awareness, inform and educate via the various social media outlets. Part of the job was following the social media accounts of folks also engaged in similar work, learning from and engaging with them.

It was where my love-hate relationship with social media began. Sifting through hundreds of posts and scrolling through silly to discover the substantive – time-consuming for sure. Mind-numbing at times. It’s why friends and colleagues curtail their Twitter and Facebook habits. For me, it’s been more gain than loss in learning from those I follow.

In particular, from those I follow that I wouldn’t know otherwise.

Social media allows us a window into the lives of people we are only barely acquainted with.

Also, we have this odd access to people who are celebrities in their fields of expertise – be they actors, scientists, politicians, educators, artists, or thought leaders of some sort or other.

We must be wary of making social media more personal than it actually is. Social media by definition presumes that it is actually social – between amicable and obliging people. Community is also presumed. Communication, too.

We must be cautious about entering into dialog, even with just a like button…because, in fact, that tweet or Facebook status could have been meant for a rather different audience.

That post frankly might not have been meant for you.

On the flip side, the social silence that follows one of your own posts might also not have been personal either. It is what it is.

Recently, I began following author John Pavlovitz on Twitter. He popped up as author of an article and, intrigued, I shared it:Photo Credit: ChurchPlant

Then it turns out he is an wildly active tweeter, and my Twitter page has grown full of his take on both our country’s political and religious failings. I try not to engage, but today, it felt personal so I did…my mistake.

Photo Credit: Twitter, John Pavlovitz

If you’re Southern Baptist, or a white, middle class, heterosexual (definitely male) evangelical…this tweet might have been “meant” for you. I realized later in the day, it wasn’t meant for me. I replied, and got smacked down by another follower of Mr. Pavlovitz. Probably deserved since I actually thought I could enter the conversation…but it wasn’t about me.

You see…it wasn’t actually an open conversation.

That’s an important distinction in successfully maneuvering social media. Not all conversations are open to everyone. I would love to be in some of the dialogs going on in various cyber-locations. The problem is although it feels like we’re invited, it isn’t the case.

I’m slowly learning that.

However, remaining silent is not the answer either. Conversations are needed with places at the table for as diverse a community of people as possible.

It happens occasionally on social media and I’m thankful for what I learn in the gracious company of people who don’t necessarily agree with me, or I with them…but who consider a differing view and who practice reasoned dialog with others.

[Update: I did decide to “unfollow” the gentleman above. Increasing my understanding of how others think can come from others.]

What are your thoughts on this?

A quote by actor Denzel Washington bears repeating here (posted in last week’s Friday Faves). Washington won the American Film Institute’s Lifetime Achievement award last week. His acceptance speech was the stuff of community and caring and healing…across the lines that too often divide us:

[In his acceptance speech,] he shared a brief 30-year-old video of his father-in-law talking to the camera and preaching a message of love. “God intends for us to love all mankind and by being in a loving mood, caring for one another, that’s our purpose for life,” his father-in-law said in the clip. “We should care for one another and we should help one another.”

Washington closed by reflecting on and reinforcing this message, saying, “In this Twitter, tweet, mean, mean world that we’ve created for our children, the least we can do is consider what we’ve done and think about the young people, the future, and individually, collectively, we can try and do the best we can. I blame no one; I look in the mirror. On the other side of it, what an opportunity we have because tomorrow’s the first day of the rest of our lives, so what an opportunity we have to practice what he preached.”Maureen Lee Lenker, Entertainment Weekly

Photo Credit: Max Pixel

In closing, I thought about extending an apology to Mr. Pavlovitz… but again realized (still learning) he wasn’t writing to me. I was not meant to come to the table set for those who would respond in affirmative to his tweet or in embattled reaction to it.

Mr. Pavlovitz, you help me grow in my understanding about how others experience politics and the church. I want to understand. It helps to realize your posts aren’t meant for me therefore I will not take them personally in the future. [Of course, you won’t be reading this…but just throwing it out there]. Blessings.

5 Friday Faves – ‘Toy Story’ Nostalgia on Classical Guitar, Best Marriage Advice, Reparations, Letter-writing, and Papa’s Garden

Friday Faves on a Sunday. Not too late to find a favorite for yourself.

1) ‘Toy Story’ Nostalgia on Classical Guitar – Nathan Mills (Beyond the Guitar) has just posted his latest arrangement. “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”. Written by composer singer Randy Newman, it is the musical theme for the Toy Story movies. Nathan’s arrangement is so fun – a little funk, a little blues. Hard to keep still when listening. Check it out below:

2) Best Marriage Advice – Many of us have benefited from good marriage advice through the years and seasons.Photo Credit: Lessons Learned in Life

My favorite marriage advice actually comes out of Bible verses not usually considered for this purpose:

“You have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent [return] and do [repeat] the first works.” – Revelation 2:4b-5a

If you’re in a season when your marriage just feels flat, like you’re a couple of roommates, like the love you have seems faded…then:

  • Remember what it was like in the beginning. What were you like? [Focus there NOT on what your spouse was like.]
  • Repent or return/turn around.
  • Repeat what you did/were like in the beginning.

I was a lot funnier than I am now. More positioned for him to protect me (which was what he is wired to do and it’s lovely). More spontaneously affectionate. More generous with praise and encouragement. When I remember, return and repeat (in action and attitude), something sweet happens. Worth giving it a try…

Lastly, a piece of advice was given to our son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law. It came from an older couple who had been in the audience of one of his concerts. They came up to meet him. When they discovered he was soon to be married, this was their advice:

“Make love often. Always pull from the same end of the rope.”Photo Credit: Twitter, Gold Medal Mind, Joe Afremow

3) Reparations – This week on Juneteenth, reparations was a heated topic in Congress. It is defined as “the idea that some form of compensatory payment needs to be made to the descendants of Africans trafficked to and enslaved in the Americas as part of the Atlantic slave trade.”

The terrible history and aftermath of slavery hangs over our country like a shroud. How do we move forward? I am so thankful for those who are helping us to make strides in racial reconciliation…and, at its most basic element, truly truly caring for one another.

Writer/musician Coleman Hughes spoke against reparations during the hearing on the proposed bill #HR40. His testimony follows:

I don’t know the answer for those descendants of slaves in America…or for the rest of us with such a wrongful legacy. It is a painful issue…needing much wisdom and sound reason.

Should the U.S. Give Cash Payments to the Descendants of Slaves to Atone for Slavery? Here’s What Experts Are Arguing – Emily Hoeven

Everyone Wants to Talk About Reparations But For How Long – Adam Harris

The Impossibility of Reparations – David Frum

Only Black GOP Senator Tim Scott Calls Reparations a ‘Non-Starter’ – Alexander Bolton

Actor Denzel Washington won the American Film Institute’s Lifetime Achievement award. His acceptance speech has nothing to do with reparations but a lot to do with healing a nation:

[Denzel Washington, in his acceptance speech,] shared a 30-year-old video of his father-in-law talking to the camera and preaching a message of love. “God intends for us to love all mankind and by being in a loving mood, caring for one another, that’s our purpose for life,” his father-in-law said in the clip. “We should care for one another and we should help one another.”

Washington closed by reflecting on and reinforcing this message, saying, “In this Twitter, tweet, mean, mean world that we’ve created for our children, the least we can do is consider what we’ve done and think about the young people, the future, and individually, collectively, we can try and do the best we can. I blame no one; I look in the mirror. On the other side of it, what an opportunity we have because tomorrow’s the first day of the rest of our lives, so what an opportunity we have to practice what he preached.”Maureen Lee Lenker, Entertainment Weekly

4) Letter-writing – I used to be a prolific letter-writer. Not so any more, but it was fun for me to receive a letter in the mail this week from one of my very best life-long friends. She and her husband have been emptying her mom-in-law’s house, preparing it for sale. Her mom who I’ve know all my life is/was a very sentimental woman. She must have kept many of the letters I’d sent her over the years. Some of those found their way back home to me. It was fun to re-read them. Have you ever been a letter-writer? Letters to ones we love must certainly be treasures…and I have always loved Mrs. Hazel.

5) Papa’s Garden – Total feast for the senses. How is it that we can smell tomatoes grow (corn, too)? I’ll look that up but for now, just wanted to share pictures from this early summer garden. Growing through the work of my gardener husband.

Even the compost pile has its own stuff growing!

That’s it for me this week. I would love for you to share your favorite finds or your thoughts from anything above. It is a joy to hear from you. Thanks for reading.

Bonuses:

World Refugee Day

How Much Coffee Is Safe to Consume? Research Says Up to 25 Cups Per Day

11 things you need to know in tech today

Donald Trump Donates Salary to Department of Transportation – USA Today, Jessica Estepa

ABC’s of Life: 26 ways to live our lives more deeply…Photo Credit: Facebook, The Art of Learning

 

Photo Credit: Facebook, Pet Assist