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War Room – A Film and a Strategy – Praying Our Hearts Out for Those We Love

June 5, 2015 admindeb 3 Comments

“May Yahweh answer you in a day of trouble; may the name of Jacob’s God protect you. May He send you help from the sanctuary & sustain you from Zion. May He remember all your offerings & accept your burnt offering. May He give you what your heart desires & fulfill your whole purpose. Let us shout for joy at your victory & lift the banner in the name of our God. May Yahweh fulfill all your requests.” – Psalm 20:1-4

Have you ever laid awake at night fretting or even despairing over a loved one’s situation or life choices? Have you felt the choking hopelessness not thinking you can do anything to help? God forbid, we deal with a request for prayer as new fodder for gossip, or we just click “Like” on Facebook and never really pray. Never really pray as if all the powers of Heaven might come to bear on a situation if we did. Pray.

A new film by the Kendrick Brothers opens in theaters in the US on August 28, 2015. It’s called War Room with the subtitle Prayer Is a Powerful Weapon. I had the opportunity to see a pre-release screening and it so lifted my heart. It’s a compelling story about a married couple, Tony and Elizabeth Jordan (T. C. Stallings and Priscilla Shirer) whose relationship is crumbling by degrees. Ambition, pursuit of pleasure, entitlement, and unforgiveness have dealt mortal wounds to their marriage. Only a miracle would save their marriage.

This glimmer of hope arrives through the friendship of Elizabeth with an elderly woman, known only as Miss Clara. (Karen Abercrombie). This tiny old woman is a serious force of nature…wielding supernatural weapons, in her faith in God. She wages battle daily for those God places in her path. Unbeknownst to them at first, Elizabeth and Tony would soon see the very God of the universe draw near to them in response to His daughter’s cries for help. If you see this film, Miss Clara may remind you of your praying grandmother. So much love. So much power.

The film opens on a war room with military officers pouring over maps and coordinates as they planned strategy for battle. When Miss Clara enters the story, a very different war room is introduced. She prays all the time, out loud and confidently. Yet there are times during each day, she enters her war room – a tiny closet, with a chair and Bible, and notes taped up all over the wall. Those notes were prayer requests and Scripture promises. Complete focus on God and on the ones she was praying hard for…no distractions.

But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. – Matthew 6:6

Some situations need excruciatingly intimate business done with God. Prayer requests in a meeting or through social media make a difference also. However, we don’t see answers to prayer sometimes because we think the problem is too great or the situation too far gone. Miss Clara kept her faith…whatever the outcome, this should be our heart toward God. He is able.

When we battle in prayer for those we love, this moves the heart of God. What are you praying your heart out for right now?

YouTube Video – War Room – The Heart of the Film

War Room – Doing Battle with Prayer – WRBL Special Report

“The Three Battles” by Alex Kendrick

To join the conversation: WARROOMMOVIE on Facebook; @WARROOMMOVIE and @ANSWEREDPRAYER on Twitter

Putting on the Armor – Equipped and Deployed for Spiritual Warfare – Dr. Chuck Lawless (pdf Bible study)

How to Pray Evangelistically – How to Pray God’s Heart – by Dr. Chuck Lawless

How to Pray when Someone You Love is Stuck in Sin by Erin Davis

Photo Credits – All images are from WarRoomTheMovie.com media materials.

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Bookmarked Summer: Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street

May 21, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

I love words. Not cruel, lying, arrogant, or mean-spirited ones, of course. I love the kind of words that make stories come alive, where you can see and touch and smell right off the page of the book. Oh to write that way… maybe one day.

A dear friend, who reads my writing because she loves me, shared this book with me. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. I finally read it…just a few hours long, packed with that pink-orange hue of Mexico. Mexico transplanted in Chicago. Cisneros writes so personally of growing up straddling two cultures – living in Chicago sometimes, and Mexico other times. The book is a small novel, large with details of a family living Mexican in an American city. Sandra Cisneros opens the door to the reader to step into her Mexican American childhood, tucked in a neighborhood, so like Mexico and yet still far from home.

I read some of the reviews by readers of Cisneros’ book. They are extreme in their take on this little book – ranging from those who love her writing, identifying with her stories, and those who hate that they had to read the novel (for a class, etc.), not seeing Cisneros’ writing as worthy of their time. The criticisms surprised me, and then I understood that her writing is full of strong emotion and bore fruit of that in her readers, one way or another.

I loved the way she invited the reader, one outside of this neighborhood and culture, to be a part of its story. It was impossible to tell what was fiction and what was truly her own childhood.

Below you will find some of my favorite quotes from The House on Mango Street. I hope you enjoy her words, as I did.

“My mother’s hair…is the warm smell of bread before you bake it, is the smell when she makes room for you on her side of the bed still warm with her skin, and you sleep near her, the rain outside falling and Papa snoring.”

“Those who don’t know any better come into our neighborhood scared. They think we’re dangerous. They think we will attack them with shiny knives. They are stupid people who are lost and got here by mistake. But we aren’t afraid…All brown all around, we are safe. But watch us drive into a neighborhood of another color and our knees go shakity-shake and our car windows get rolled up tight and our eyes look straight. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes.”

“Hips…one day you wake up and they are there. Ready and waiting like a new Buick with the keys in the ignition. Ready to take you where? They’re good for holding a baby when you’re cooking…you need them to dance…if you don’t get them you may turn into a man…they bloom like roses.”

“My Papa, his thick hands and thick shoes…wakes up tired in the dark,..combs his hair with water, drinks his coffee, and is gone before we wake.”

“Everything is holding its breath inside me. Everything is waiting to explode like Christmas. I want to be all new and shiny…a boy around my neck and the wind under my skirt.”

“There were sunflowers big as flowers on Mars and thick cockscombs bleeding the deep red fringe of theater curtains. There were dizzy bees and bow-tied fruit flies turning somersaults and humming in the air. Sweet sweet peach trees…big green apples hard as knees. And everywhere the sleepy smell of rotting wood, damp earth and dusty hollyhocks thick and perfumy like the blue-blond hair of the dead.”

“A house of my own…only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem.”

“I never know what I am feeling till I write about it. Writing makes me feel better when life overwhelms me.” – Sandra Cisneros*

*Sandra Cisneros’ Letter to the Sixth-Grade Students of Ms. Jill Faison, Hogan Middle School, Vallejo, California

The House on Mango Street – 25th Anniversary Edition

Photo Credit – Picture of Sandra Cisneros – by ksm36 – Wikipedia.org

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Inner Circles – the Mad Pursuit of Position, Power, Prominence, and Plenty

May 11, 2015 admindeb 3 Comments

Let’s face it – we all want to belong…somewhere among the best of the best. Even when we don’t say it out loud, some sort of identity appeals to us and drives our pursuits. Jeremy Writebol wrote a piece which I read this morning and want to point your way. He introduced this pursuit of belonging by referencing C. S. Lewis’ Inner Rings. Lewis talked about what we are willing to do to be identified as one inside those rings, or inner circles. There’s the danger – what we’re willing to do.

Writebol presents 4 inner rings of belonging:

1) The Inner Ring of Acceptance

2) The Inner Ring of Authority

3) The Inner Ring of Applause

4) The Inner Ring of Abundance

None of us are immune to one or more of these inner rings or social circles. Take the time to read his piece. He defines each circle and asks clarifying questions, in a very kind way, to help the reader deal with the deceit or justification we may have developed, without realizing it.

Great Monday morning read…Go!

4 Inner Rings You May Be Pursuing by Jeremy Writebol

Photo Credits: BPNews.net – Hockey Team; Huddle; Men praying; Girls’ Bible Study; Women Worshipping

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70’s Road Trips – Soaking Up America in a VW Bus

May 8, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

In those days, we weren’t afraid of anything. The war in Vietnam was finally winding down, and our futures loomed bright before us. I had finished graduate school and my youngest brother, Wade, had just graduated from high school. We thought it would be a great adventure to travel across the US together, celebrating both our graduations. My friend, Teresa, was planning a visit to her sister in California, so we invited her along.

My parents and siblings helped me “convert” my baby blue Volkswagen van into a camper. We extended the cargo space by pulling out the back seat. Mom made curtains for the windows, and Dad installed carpet throughout. I regret not having many pictures from those days (long before digital cameras) – just a handful of faded snapshots of Yosemite and the deserts of the Southwest. No pictures of us. So unlike now.

It’s amazing that my folks let us go on this trip, but they did. No cell phones, no GPS system, no internet (hard to imagine, I know). We did have a AAA Triptik to help us plan our travel days and when/where to stop for the night. This was a very good thing, because my head was full of the romance of the road, not the “what if’s” that could happen along the way.

[I recently found an old book (Explore America) at an estate sale. It reminded me of our trip planning back then. You can see on the map page that straight-line Interstate Highway 40 route East-West across the Southwest. So much fun.]

Traveling the interstates in the summer in those days was amazing in itself. We got lost the first time before we ever left our home county. Once we found I-40, it was clear sailing. We were surrounded by truckers and large RV’s. I had been living away from home for quite awhile, but traveling for days in that van felt more grown up than anything else I’d experienced. [This was years before any overseas travel.]

Wade and I talked recently about the trip. This is a short summary of our memories. We stayed in KOA campgrounds mostly, but every 3rd night, we “shook off the dust of the road” in economy hotels. While Teresa and I tried new food along the way, Wade ate hamburgers at least once every day. His favorite food remained unchanged. Staying at campgrounds was fascinating as the culture lent itself to conversations with strangers and making “new friends” (at least until summer’s end).

Driving through the desert was captivating. You would think it was a visually barren experience, but there is so much life and diversity in the desert. With long stretches of road, we wouldn’t always have words, just listened to the radio (rocking along to the tunes of the 70’s). Then we reached the Grand Canyon. If you’ve been, you know that words (or even pictures) can’t do justice to the beauty and expanse of that “river bed“. We entered Las Vegas, Nevada, at night, and the bright skyline was beyond dazzling against the dark desert sky. We parked in the RV Lot of the Stardust Hotel, and between us, Wade and I lost about a dollar gambling that night. [We learned our lesson.]

To go from the heat of the Nevada desert to the snowy remains of winter in Yosemite, California was a crazy experience. Such a beautiful place. Then we pushed on to San Diego, leaving Interstate 40 for the great North-South I-5 Corridor. California is such a beautiful and funky state (then and now). So much to see and experience, and we did our best over those few days. The San Diego Zoo was so much fun. The downer of the whole road trip was also part of our time there. After our zoo visit, we returned to the van to find it vandalized. All our suitcases were gone. Sigh…

We called home. In those days, a phone booth gave privacy to the tears, and we got the counsel and confidence we needed to take the next steps. The police were kind though apologetically not helpful. We would not retrieve our belongings, as was the case for many other travelers that way. Before this trip, I may have used my Sears & Roebuck credit card once or twice. That day, after the shock of all the loss, it was like Christmas, with the refurbishing of our wardrobes with the best of California-stylized Sears duds.

On to Los Angeles, we did the Universal Studios Tour. During the tour, the friendly guide surveyed our group for where we called home. There in that sea of strangers was a couple who lived near us (in the Pleasant Hill Trailer Park, which is now a mall, a few miles from our home in Georgia). Those surprise encounters are a new anticipated part of travel.

San Francisco was a magical place. Cool weather with flower gardens and sea views at every turn. Wade doesn’t remember this but he pulled onto a one-way street the wrong way. It took a bit of maneuvering to get through that “hillbillies in the city” experience. I wasn’t very kind to him over that unfortunately (now I know that very experience myself…demands lots of grace from spectators).

We ate at Fisherman’s Wharf. A mixed seafood platter there became quite a different experience (my first taste of squid). Sitting along the Bay, we watched all the sailboats, white sails drawing the breeze, in that deep blue water. Lombard Street was a sweet find (for those of you who saw the classic car chase scene from the 1968 film Bullitt, you see a bit of this street at 2:20 of this YouTube video. The rest of the video is a gift – you can almost smell the burning rubber).Lombard Street, San Francisco – World’s Crookedest Street

Our friend, Teresa, left us soon after our San Francisco exploration. Then for Wade and me, the trip was on the downside. We were making a dash for home. This time, we traveled Interstate 80 into the Midwest, and then our memories blur on how exactly we got home. We did stop in to see the Mormon Tabernacle as we crossed Utah. In those days, we discovered, if you sign the visitors’ book and leave any kind of contact information, you could be assured of a visit from one of those young, missionary duos when you returned home.

The VW bus was a fine vehicle for that trip. We burned out quite a few fuses, but we became quite adept at changing out good fuses from equipment we needed less to replace bad fuses of that which we needed more. For instance, at night we needed that interior light. Unfortunately, as our fuses blew, we discovered on the trip back, we had miscalculated one fuse exchange. During the beginning of a huge rainstorm, on a rural stretch of highway, our windshield wipers went out. That and another coincidental mechanical issue sent us searching for a mechanic on a Sunday. Not a good situation.

There on that highway, in the middle of nowhere, a truckstop loomed ahead. We pulled in, and there was this tall, lanky young mechanic, all grease and grin. He had the fuses (for that little VW bus, of all things) and fixed our other problem, and back on the road we went. To this day, I’m thinking he could have been an angel from God – coming to our aid in that distant place.

My brother, Wade, and I were always close. We had our share of fighting on the road that trip, and finally learned to reach peaceful resolutions of our differences. Seeing him through others’ experiencing him opened my eyes to so many gifts he had that I had missed along the way. I also let up on the “big sister” bit, and he just seemed to grow up across that two-week time span…or maybe I did.

I wonder what a road trip would be like today. It would be so fascinating to do it again…if only. When our kids were teenagers and we’d be in the States on vacation, we would occasionally ask them to pull out their earbuds and listen all together to something on our car sound system. What a concept! Or weirder…to talk awhile together about something. I miss those road trips. So thankful that, at least for Wade and me, we had those days on the road before our futures swept us fully into our grownup lives.

Journey – Interstate 40 Roadtrip

RoadTrip America

These maps show the optimal road trips across every state in the contiguous US

According To Science, This Is The Perfect And Best Road Trip You Can Possibly Take

Roadtrippers – Maps Built for Travelers

Soundtrack – Summer of the 70’s Road Trip List

TripAdvisor’s Hidden Gems: 19 Towns that are Diamonds in the Rough

Explore America [AAA – Tours of Discovery through Our Magnificent Country)

Daniel Norris – MLB’s Van Man

Classical Car Chase Scene Locations, in San Francisco, from film Bullitt

Photo Credits: Map of US by www.roadtrippers.com and VW Van by www.dustycars.com. Lombard Street, San Francisco, CA from www.wikimedia.org. Graduation picture by Olan Mills Photography. Other photos are mine.

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From Recovery into the Real – A Letter on the Eve of Your Going Home

May 5, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

Hey Buddy,

We are so excited for you to be heading home. What an amazing transformation you have made through the work of Christ in your life and your faithfulness to Him! You have been such an encouragement to your whole family. In these two years you have been away, either in recovery or mentoring others recovering, we have seen such maturity in you. You’re still the old you – with all the fun, and your crazy sweet smile, and that infectious laugh of yours. Yet, you are altogether different as well.

You seem more at peace with yourself and others now and, definitely, more at peace with God. You seem content to be in the present with us, less restless, not needing to slip away to be with friends. You practice wise restraint and you show surprising grace to those around you. You understand more, now, the grace you have received. Maybe it’s out of that grace that you lavish love on others.

Seeing you with your mom and sister brings so much joy to our hearts. There’s a bond between you three that reminds me of that verse in the Bible: “If someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12) Like many families you have been through a lot, but your love for each other is stronger than any hardship you’ve endured.

I’ve been trying to write you a letter for weeks, but, ironically, I don’t know what to say. The page stares blankly back at me because of too many words rather than too few. There’s just too much to say. However, I am not sure I have earned the right to speak into your life…so I haven’t actually said much, except to occasionally cheer you on from the sidelines. Writing this blog will be my rough draft toward the real thing – that letter just to you…in an envelope, with a stamp, and so much love.

Here I practice what I want to say to you:

— We will never forget how we could have lost you in those dark days when we didn’t know where you were going or how you were. How thankful to God we will always be for sparing your life then. Now you walk with Him. Whatever happens in the future, we know we will never forever lose you. This may sound morbid but the reality of this once took our breath away and kept us awake praying at night. Now, we can rest somewhat easier because you belong to God now. We trust Him with you.

— In these two years of recovering and mentoring, you have learned what is at stake in your choices. You have seen so much more, than I, of what substance use and abuse can take away from people…and from those who love them. You have seen up close what one hit, one bottle, one time use of a substance can do to a person…. Too often, it doesn’t stay at one. Sometimes, “one” becomes “done” in the worst way imaginable. We will be praying you stay wise in this…and safe.

— When you return home, you change addresses, but recovering your life will continue. You’re probably looking forward to getting back into the “real world”. For those who love you, that’s a little scary. Not just because of your past struggle. It’s a scary world period. Excesses and addictions abound. We are all surrounded by more temptation than most of us can handle well. Having God in our lives helps so much. Just bear with us if we get anxious about your new beginnings and old acquaintances. Forgive us if we hover or meddle or ask “too many questions”. We’re learning, too, how to live well in the “real”. We can all gain from encouraging each other along the way.

— You are so much more equipped now to fully live life, to serve others, and to keep your focus on what matters. So much will crowd in on your priorities as you experience new freedom. This is where we who love you are tempted to hold you close and try to guide you more than is necessary. Be gentle with us; it’s out of hearts full of love for you. We will be praying as you look for a new job, a church, and possibly new friendships (maybe you won’t be looking for new ones, but we’ll be praying for new ones, as well as the old). We know you will continue to use what you’ve learned, not just on your own decisions and life choices, but also for the sake of others. You have so much to give to help others step back from choices that can hurt them or those they love.

— Last, and best of all, can I just rejoice with you, all over again, in your relationship with God? We all see Jesus in you. What a joy it is to be redeemed by Him, and we see that joy in you in profound ways. Ways different than I’ve experienced…because only you know what all He saved you from…as with all of us. Don’t ever let this so-called “real” world appear successful in extinguishing that light in your eyes. It cannot. You belong to Him. Always remember that.

Love you forever…..

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age, looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people, zealous for good works.” – Titus 2:11-14

Understanding and Overcoming Substance Abuse

Biblical Counseling, Addictions, and the Body of Christ

Addiction Recovery and the Burden of Self

Godly Intoxication: The Church Can Minister to Addicts – The Journal of Biblical Counseling

15 Bible Verses to Help with Addiction

A Biblical Approach to Addictions

10 Things to Stop Doing if You Have an Addictive Personality

No Longer Bound – “The Regeneration Program at No Longer Bound is a 12-month long, in-patient, regeneration process. This process differs greatly from a conventional rehabilitation program. By definition, the word rehabilitation means “to restore to a former state.” We believe that the former state of an addict before addiction is filled with wounds of rejection and pain. These wounds have lead to a life of addiction. We believe the process of regeneration, “to restore to a better state”, is the prescription for life long freedom from addiction.”

S.A.F.E. Ministries – Setting Addicts Free Eternally

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

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Worship Wednesday – Live Like That – with Sidewalk Prophets

April 22, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:34-35

We choose whether our brief lives are misspent or spent well. A few days ago, a dear neighbor, Mrs. Frances died unexpectedly at the young age of 92. I loved her stories of teaching English and serving people God placed in her life. She and her sister walked the neighborhood in the early morning. Just seeing her on those walks encouraged my heart. She had so much joy and was generous with it, lavishing it on all she met. By her own testimony of faith, and evidenced by a life of loving God and others, she is in Heaven. I can see her house from my kitchen window, and her life will continue to affect me for good. I want to live like that.Mrs. Frances (on left) & Mrs. Johnnie – Neighbors & Friends

“Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.
And when I am dying, how happy I’ll be,
If the lamp of my life has been burned out for Thee.”
C.T Studd (read whole beautiful poem here)

God has given me so many opportunities in life, for which I’m deeply grateful. Parents who loved God and loved us. A good education. Great friends through the years and across distances. Incredible work situations: teaching nursing at Emory University and then Yale University, working on cancer units in inner city settings and small towns, teaching English overseas, and now writing. I am a wife (blessed with an amazing “in-law” family), a mom to 3 great young adult children (two of whom have added sweet spouses to our family), and a grandmother-to-be. So much joy in all that.

Life has its deep losses as well. My closest life-long friend died this past year. We have lost other friends, family members, and dear colleagues over the years – some dying very young. My Mom, who was always my role model for godliness, died at 75, which today seems so young. My brother, Robert, and his son, Chad, are gone now as well, and even writing this, my heart is pierced again with the pain of missing them.My Mom, Mildred McAdams

My sweet nephew, Chad Stephens

My older brother, Robert Stephens

So what of all of this? Did those people, through all these years and across all these miles, these whose lives brushed with mine, experience Jesus’ love through me? Today, is it the case?

There are moments of revelation – wake-up calls – that we are meant to hear for our own lives. Life is full of cross-roads, and we choose which way we go. No matter how successful, beautiful, influential, or (fill-in-the-blank), we are, each of us has only this one brief candle-flame of a life. How we live it matters. Will we be remembered more than a generation or two beyond our short stint on earth? Probably not. That doesn’t really matter as much as what we do with our lives – for God and for others. That’s what matters.

Do we live our lives for ourselves? Squeezing all the goodness out of our fortunes to indulge our own desires? Do we hold onto time as if it belongs to us? Do we waste a lifetime on our screens, instead of invested in real people? Uncomfortable questions, especially for me. I so struggle in this. As I write, even if this encourages some, I am aware of a world beyond the door I can see from my desk…where people are, in real skin, and real need. It brings all the more urgency to finish this writing…to get on out there.

“Oh God, I fail regularly. You are not bothered, I’m pretty sure, by our need for downtime sometimes. For recreation. You’ve created us to both work and rest, and You give us leisure to refresh us for the next round of life. Forgive us, when we use that leisure to spend on ourselves and only then want more – more time for ourselves, more toys, more self-directed adventures. Oh God, help us remember how You saved us from ourselves, through faith in Jesus. Help us to see the world with Your eyes. Help me, God, to get up out of this chair…and go out there… ‘recklessly abandoned, never holding back’ – like Jesus lived and shows us how. I want to live like that.”

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. – Hebrews 12:1-2

Worship with me, with this great call to faith and action by Sidewalk Prophets:

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I’m only just a memory
When I’m home where my soul belongs

Was I love
When no one else would show up
Was I Jesus to the least of us
Was my worship more than just a song?

(Chorus)
I want to live like that
And give it all I have
So that everything I say and do
Points to You
If love is who I am
Then this is where I stand
Recklessly abandoned
Never holding back
I want to live like that
I want to live like that

Am I proof
That You are who you say You are
That grace can really change a heart
Do I live like Your love is true?

People pass
And even if they don’t know my name
Is there evidence that I’ve been changed
When they see me, do they see You?

Chorus

I want to live like that
I want to live like that

I want to show the world the love You gave for me
(I want to live like that)
I’m longing for the world to know the glory of the King

Chorus

I want to live like that
I want to live like that*

*Lyrics to Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets

YouTube Video – Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets

YouTube Video – Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets [images from films and news reports you might find familiar – brought tears to my eyes. One distracting typo: In the lyrics, corrected it’s “Was I love when no one else would show up?”

Live Like That – Sidewalk Prophets – Devotional Series

YouTube Video – Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets (just another lyric video – another set of powerful images accompanying life-changing words)

Story Behind the Song Live Like That

Sidewalk Prophets Website

Photo Credit – Sidewalk Prophets Live Like That album cover Others are my own.

My Dad, living well, so far, with Alzheimer’s, and me

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Give Church Another Try – 7 Things to Consider in a Community Where You Can Thrive

April 6, 2015 admindeb 3 Comments

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. – Hebrews 10:24-25

When I was a child, we learned this little fingerplay about church. “Here’s the church; here’s the steeple; open the doors, and see all the people.” As an adult, church has become less about a place, or steeple, and more about people. So the fingerplay I teach children now about church says only “Here’s the church” – with the two hands, palms up, with intertwined fingers. That’s church. There are three things I see in that visual that are good to remember: 1) Palms up – we need God. Church is about God. 2) Fingers – we are all people (stay with me). 3) Intertwined – we get close, which means we know each other very well, too well sometimes (unless grace is always applied). With people, church can get messy. We are all those people.

There are people I love who have walked away from church, citing, “They’re all a bunch of hypocrites.” Seriously? Aren’t they right where they need to be? An old saying goes, “Church is a hospital for sinners.” Maybe it’s also a rehab program for hypocrites… Either way, if I’ve given up on church, then at some level, I’m giving up on God. He loves His church, and we, as followers of Christ, are a part of that church He loves. To leave it, because of the hypocrites, the legalists, the gossips, the other sinners…just. like. us…is not the answer.

We left a church ourselves. The details won’t help this narrative. Suffice it to say, I wouldn’t wish the down side of that experience on my worst enemy. It wasn’t just our down side, or that of others who left…it was the pain and confusion of those whom we left as well. We would have had that go very differently, if we had had the freedom to do so… That sort of leaving doesn’t heal easily, and the wounds break open as easily as a social media post reminding us that we are not in each other’s lives anymore.

That’s just so wrong. Jesus let nothing or no one keep him from his Father’s House. The Temple, in those days. My desire is to always follow His lead in life. We’ve learned a lot, some of it painfully, about church in recent years. There are writers on this subject far more wise and eloquent than I (just a few of whom wrote the pieces linked below). However, I would be so grateful if God allowed me to help someone be restored to His church. Also, for anyone who has never really been in a church community, maybe it would help to know what to consider.

Here’s my Quick List of 7 Things to Consider in Searching Out a Church Community. As you peruse a church website, or listen to a pastor/teaching elder’s podcast, or visit a worship service or community group, think about this:

1) Love for God – His Word is taught in ways you are meant to apply both inside and outside church. Worship is really about Him, not just a stage show. Humility, not arrogance, is apparent in handling God’s Word and His church. Prayer, not just for stuff, but to purely enjoy His presence is a sign of a God-centered church.

2) Love for people – The church operates out of a clear desire to creatively express God’s love to people in the church and community, neighbors to nations. It’s not just about that church’s presence or preeminence (superiority) in a town or city, but the goal is to be about Kingdom work – God’s Kingdom, not that church’s. Look to see if the church cooperates with other believers, other churches, other organizations to serve its city and the world. Partnerships tell you a lot about a church. Prayer opportunities, too.

3) Decision-making in the church – Who gives input for strategy or direction? Is the polity (or church governing) the pastor or elder rule? Or is there a clear flow between church leaders and the congregation? Is servant leadership development of all a part of the vision of the church? Can you get a sense of “the priesthood of the believers” (1 Peter 2:9) – where there is “safety in a multitude of counselors” (Proverbs 11:14)? Elder ruled vs. elder led churches both have Biblical support. A lot has to do with accountability and the leaders themselves.

4) Discipleship Throughout Ages and Stages – What happens on Sundays is vital, but it is just a part of church life as a whole. What opportunities does the church promote for growing in the Lord and serving Him both locally and globally? Pre-discipleship can start with young children, and discipleship continues through all life stages (we are grateful to know people in their 80s still serving actively in church). Young moms desperately need discipleship, too. Churches that make that happen must really please God.

5) Finances and Stewardship – What happens with the money that is given through the church? Who decides how it’s used? These answers may not be easily discovered. Is the budget presented by or published to the congregation? Or are the financial decisions made wholly by the elders? Is missions giving encouraged? Is sacrificial giving a pattern in the church? Not just for paying salaries or managing the operation of the church, but for critical needs beyond the church.

5) Church Membership – What are the steps to becoming a member of the church? Maybe you’re thinking you aren’t interested in church membership. Still this is something to consider. What are requirements of the members? Do they have to sign anything (a church covenant, a giving pledge, etc.)? [Signing your agreement/commitment can be a good thing, but realize things can change in the church such that what you signed can mean something different as part of that change. So just be aware…] What are the privileges of membership (teaching, children’s ministry, etc.)? What are the responsibilities of membership? These speak to the priorities of the church. They also speak to leadership/authority. Are members held with open hands, recognizing we belong to God first and then the Body?

6) Church Discipline – You may think that churches don’t all have a church discipline protocol. That may be true. I am thinking that church discipline is part of most churches, whether spoken/written or not. How does one even look for how the church does discipline? The sermons can give some sense of what is “tolerated” or not. That’s a sad thing to have to say, but we all know the expression “bully pulpit” which can happen in churches as well as in politics. Shunning is prescribed rarely in Scripture (Romans 16:17, 1 Corinthians 5:11, Titus 3:9-11). Honestly, if a church uses shunning as a discipline, I would run. It would require the church to have such humility and such wisdom. Who is able, over months or years, to do it with a pure heart? Jesus taught on discipline in the church in Matthew 18:15-20. It’s so like Him to place that teaching between the parable of the lost sheep and the parable of the unforgiving servant. Think about it.

7) Style and Substance – Be careful you don’t make a decision about a church based on some element of style rather than substance. Just say, you don’t care for the style of worship. Or the preaching goes a little long. Or…fill in the blank. No church is going to be “perfect” because the church is made up of people, like you and me. Just don’t miss the church God has for you over something that matters so little. What does matter is that you get yourself in a situation where you can grow in knowing God, where you can serve Him and those around you as part of the church, and where you can heal…from whatever got you out of church. Don’t let that experience define your life. Please.

Just, please, give church another try. Do you know the story (Acts 15:36-40) about the Apostle Paul and his ministry partner, Barnabas and how they had a huge disagreement about another young partner, John Mark? Sometimes, disagreements happen – so strong, in fact, that maybe they can’t do ministry together for a season. Does that mean either of them are “the bad guys”? Paul even came to a place, near the time of his death, that he asked for John Mark to come to him (2 Timothy 4:11). The Scripture doesn’t tell us whether either Paul or Barnabas was right or wrong. Yet, we are left with a huge door of reconciliation open to us in their story.

May it always be so with us – to the glory of God and for the sake of His Kingdom.

Jesus, you were once broken apart. You know how it feels to be so shattered by the good-byes of life. Help me to believe that I will one day experience wholeness again, that I will not have this terrible feeling of being torn into many pieces. Keep reminding me often that the Father raised you to new life, to a powerful wholeness that you had not known before. Encourage me to believe that, in time, I will no longer have this deep pain and hurt in my heart. I want to believe. Help my unbelief! Amen. – Joyce Rupp, Prayer for Wholeness in Praying Our Goodbyes

Healthy Church vs. Toxic Church – Bart’s Barometer (Bart Breen)

9 Marks of an Abusive Church – The Wartburg Watch

9 Traits of Mean Churches – Thom Rainer

9 Traits of Church Bullies – Thom Rainer

9 Ways to Deal with Church Bullies – Thom Rainer

14 Symptoms of Toxic Church Leaders – Thom Rainer

10 Traits of Pastors Who Have Healthy Long-Term Tenure

9 Reasons It’s Hard to Attend a Church Once You’ve Been Involved in Leading One – Carey Nieuwhof [Applies to all of us really, not just church leaders]

Life Skills, Lifelong Learning, Monday Morning Moment, Relationships, Social Media

Oh, the People I Meet and the Stuff I Learn – On Twitter

March 16, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

3 years ago, I opened a Twitter account as part of a new job as a communications strategist. Prior to this, Facebook was pretty much the extent of social media I regularly used. Entering the trendy Twittersphere has brought me a bit of good-natured grief from my way cooler young adult children, but I stand my ground.

Twitter reminds me of how I felt first reading Dr. Seuss’ Oh, the Places You’ll Go! “You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.”

I have learned so much from the folks I follow on Twitter (and by default, the folks they follow). They are writers, musicians, theologians, moms, social activists, film makers, entrepreneurs, teachers, artists and athletes. Even how I take in world news is now affected by how these I follow comment on events. It’s surprising how rich a 140-character opinion can be, especially when I am pointed to a link that fills in the rest of the story.

In a world gone texting, a 140-character tweet is really quite substantive.

For the unconvinced of those friends of mine, I want to introduce you to some of the people I follow…just a few, there are many more. What I learn from them each day is well worth the time spent on Twitter. It, like all other social media, can be addictive, so it’s wise to be judicious in how often you check Twitter, but, again, I am thankful for these voices. They have helped me thrive in this world of so many messages. For with Twitter, like Facebook, I choose who I learn from, rather than being bombarded with so. much. noise.

Here are just a few of those I follow and their recent tweets:

Dena Dyer ‏@motherinferior2 34m34 minutes ago

McFarland, USA is a feel-good, inspirational and family-friendly movie–you take your whole family to see it. #supporthegoodstuff

TED Talks ‏@TEDTalks 19m19 minutes ago

#TED2015 begins in 3… 2… 1…

Russell Moore ‏@drmoore 2h2 hours ago

Can’t wait for #cafo2015! Will you be there? http://www.cafo2015.org

[CAFO – Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit April 30-May 1, Nashville, Tn.]

Micah Fries ن ‏@micahfries 2h2 hours ago

I’m pretty sure the New Jerusalem will be a bit like middle Tennessee today; 78, sunny & 30% humidity.

WSJ Sports ‏@WSJSports 2h2 hours ago

Who’s going to win in #MarchMadness? The Madness Machine will guide you through your bracket: http://on.wsj.com/1EkwGVW

Intl Justice Mission ‏@IJM 3h3 hours ago

Thanks to @AmazonSmile, your shopping can help rescue slaves. Go here (http://smile.amazon.com/ ) + choose us! #YouShopAmazonGives

Business Insider ‏@businessinsider 3h3 hours ago

Amazing photos of a Pacific island nation just devastated by a monster cyclone http://read.bi/1HVSivB

Mike C ‏@blogboy2 3h3 hours ago

7 Tips to Turn Your Clutter Into Cash Through Garage Sales: http://ht.ly/Koub3 #realestate

Trevin Wax ن ‏@TrevinWax 9h9 hours ago

Repentance has a fragrance; hypocrisy, a stench. http://ow.ly/KmjTB

Brad Hambrick ن @BradHambrick · 22h 22 hours ago

Video Overcoming Depression-Anxiety A Responsibility Paradigm (Step 9 of 9) http://www.bradhambrick.com/anxiety9/ STEWARD all of my life for God’s glory

Marilyn Gardner @marilyngard · 16h 16 hours ago

Fantastic piece on Writing: Rejection and Community @RachelPiehJones http://www.djiboutijones.com/2015/03/writing-rejection-and-community/ … #writing #Mondayblogs

Christopher Yuan 袁幼軒 @christopheryuan · Mar 14

Study: Parents who are absorbed by smartphones have more negative interactions with their children http://yuan2.us/288

Drew Daywalt retweeted

Penguin Books Canada @PenguinCanada · Feb 28

The crayons are coming! The crayons are coming! The Day The Crayons Quit Is getting a sequel: http://bit.ly/1LLRLi6

How to Sign Up for Twitter

@debmillswriter

All Good Gifts, Babies & Children, Books, Culture & Religion, Faithfulness, Family, God, Grace, Home, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Mom and Dad, Parenting, Pray, Relationships, Seasons, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transformational, Word of God

Routines, Rituals, & Rhythms of Life – 10 Disciplines that Can Help Us Reclaim Our Life for Good

March 15, 2015 admindeb 6 Comments

When our children were small, we set routines in place that carried us for long years of relative sanity. We set routines for two reasons – 1) to give them a sense of order and loving boundaries, and 2) to provide a consistent infrastructure in our own lives as their parents. We all knew what the rules were, and what we, the Mills, were about as a family.

If we don’t set up routines in our lives, then our time and energy can be taken captive by the whim of others. By our own brain-in-neutral “me-time”. Or, in my case, just an inescapable drive to do too much, such that if I’m not careful, I accomplish little well. It’s lifelong learning here for me…

In talking about routines, it’s not those of snacking late and falling asleep every night in front of the t.v. Those happen with little effort on our part. It is setting routines in place that reflect God-inspired values…the kinds of routines that will take us right through our elder years; routines that our children will remember and may want for themselves…because those routines mattered; they were good and life-affirming…they are still – no matter the times and culture in which we find ourselves.

The 10 disciplines listed below speak to routines in the rhythm of life. There are rituals that can be set in place to help us be more successful in turning disciplines into a lifestyle. This list is not meant to be prescriptive as much as it is to be descriptive of what we want for our lives. We fail at them regularly, but we aim at these goals daily.

1) Quiet Time in the morning – A friend of ours grew up with a dad who had the philosophy: “Bible before breakfast”. Setting a routine of prayer, Bible reading, and journaling in place can transform our personal lives and our families (even where there are small ones – this is the most challenging time to set this routine; if it’s before the babies come, it’s easier to maintain). It requires getting up early and going to bed early enough to get up early, but it is so worth it. So important for every other part of our daily life.

2) Live life in an orderly way. “A place for everything and everything in its place” is a wisdom statement whose origin is ascribed to several including Benjamin Franklin. As a piler (if my projects are put away, it’s as if they don’t exist), this is a life-long battle, but I work at it everyday. Especially the common areas of our home, the dishes, and the laundry. This could also relate to our email folders, but I won’t even go there on this one.

3) Tithe and avoid debt. Being generous toward God and toward others makes for a truly satisfying life. Living within our means and being thrifty help us develop the margin wherein we can exercise generosity. We have never had big salaries or huge debt, so we don’t know the temptation or struggle, respectively, of either of those. We have seen this principle of giving at work in our lives and that of others more generous than us. It is life-infusing, for sure.

4) Worship God. You can see there is no order to this list of 10. Worshipping God as a lifestyle can permeate all the other routines of life. This is not just about attending church; it’s really worshipping God, corporately with the church, as well as completely alone. Keeping a Sabbath makes for a huge jumpstart in a lifestyle of worship – setting aside a day of rest, as He has instructed us, and then using that day to reflect on Him. Amazing grace comes out of that. Then as we make remembering God a rhythm of life, all that happens to us and to those around us is set in the reality of a good and loving God.

5) Honoring Communications: This can be a prickly subject as our current technology has really not helped with communication as much as we think. We almost communicate, at best. When our children were growing up, we visited more, talked around the dinner table, and had guests in often. It can be a stretch for our introvert family members, but genuine, wholly engaged communication yields great gains for everyone involved. So…given where we are today: Answer those texts. Make phone calls when a situation is time- or message-sensitive. Write cards especially for those older, harder hearing, and far away. Deal with business communication in a timely manner. Exercise courtesy. Treat others in good faith. ‘Nuff said. I fail here regularly, but it’s always on my radar.

6) Work with your hands…whether it’s in the garden, or working in the kitchen, playing an instrument, or making things. When our children were young, they would sometimes complain of being bored. We would always tell them, “Go do something.” That seemed a simple instruction, but it seemed to help them rally, sort of “snap out of it”. I don’t understand boredom, really; there is so much out there to learn and do. I admire friends and family of ours who tackle challenging skillsets, figure things out, and create something of beauty or usefulness. Working with our hands makes a big difference in our lives. I know this experientially whether the science supports it or not.

7) Take time to be kind. Slowing down is really a requirement to being kind – to hold a door for someone, or make a meal for a new mom, or show care for someone instead of going straight to the business at hand. Time is a limited resource. Guard it…don’t squander it. Or redeem it – slowing down may not always be an option, but we can definitely restructure how we use our time. Have regular bedtimes and morning wake-up times. Healthier lives give us the fuel for both using our time better and showing kindness to those around us.

8) Honor your parents. I have had the great blessing of generous and wise mom and mom-in-law. They loved both Dave and me with open hands, encouraging us to watch out for both sides of our families. We gain so much in those relationships. We have a friend who talked to his elderly father every single day. He read the Bible to him over the phone when his eyesight got too bad to read it himself. His father has gone on to be with the Lord, but what a blessing that was for him, for them. Are you setting up routines in your life that serve those who loved you most?

9) Pray instead of worry or fret. You know what I’m talking about here. At night, I have a discipline of going back over the day with the Lord, placing people and situations in His hands. Then I can sleep. I try to do the same on waking, training my thoughts to God rather than stressing about the day ahead.

10) Be good stewards of your mind, body, and relationships. This is where all the healthy living stuff might come in. So much more than that though is the intentionality of being a good steward of your over-all life. For instance, life-long learning must be part of our routine or we really go into “slow”. Still another friend of ours has a routine of 45 minutes of reading a day (beyond his quiet time and reading at work), just for the purpose of learning. Regarding relationships, we can intentionally build routines that connect us with people. Breakfast clubs. Community Bible studies. Weekly prayer groups. Volunteer teams. Regular dates with friends (including our spouses or roommates and family). Just like our bodies and minds, our relationships require tending, and we will reap a harvest in how we steward them.

Routines will happen. Just be intentional on making the ones you truly want to happen. Do something. Do the next thing. Do the right thing. Serve somebody.

How Changing This One Bad Habit Changed Our Home for Good – Complaining

Routines, Rituals, and Rhythms by an English Mum

Rhythms, Routines, & Rituals for Homeschooling Families

Family Routines and Rituals – A Context for Development in the Lives of Young Children

All Good Gifts, Family, Inspired, Relationships, Seasons

Snow Days – Sledding & Snowcream & So Much More

February 21, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.” – Isaiah 1:18

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, And do not return there without watering the earth And making it bear and sprout, And furnishing seed to the sower and bread to the eater; So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; It will not return to Me empty, Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it.” – Isaiah 55:10-11

The one great snow storm of 2015 in eastern Virginia has run its course. What a fine run it was, too. No school all week.

I love the snow…and the snow days it brings. Maybe if I endured it for months on end and had to slip and slide through it to work all winter, I wouldn’t love it. For all of us, though, there is something wondrous about fresh-fallen snow, sparkling in the morning sun, or brightening the colors of a gray winter world. Sledding and snow cream* were made for this kind of snow…new and unmarked.

My husband says shoveling snow is the adult version of playing in the snow.

I’m not sure our sons would agree.

Because of our Southern US family roots and our years living in Africa, we haven’t had many snow days. Once while we were back in the US with my husband doing graduate studies, we had a huge ice storm in North Carolina. Our youngest son had prayed for snow…and he got more than he prayed for.

Pine trees heavy with ice dropped limbs all over the yard. One actually pierced through our roof on its way down. We heard the hit and searched out the damage. Opening our daughter’s closet door, the branches from that limb whooshed out with that beautiful scent of pine and the wet cling of ice melting on the clothes. It was straight out of C. S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

One winter just a few years ago, we knew the snow was coming, and we preemptively gathered our young adult children into one place for a few days. It is a sweet, sweet memory for me. Those days of “together under one roof” are rare and special, and snow days made it possible. They played and laughed together, and we drank hot chocolate and told stories in front of the fireplace.

That year a beautiful young friend joined us to make snow angels and would later become part of the family.

Another thing I love about snow is its whiteness. Even the Bible talks about how God makes the dreadful darkness of our sin white as snow. The white of the snow reminds me of those verses and God’s promises in those verses, fulfilled through Jesus. The sunlight glitters like diamonds on the snow in the early morning. That snow whiteness seems to highlight and sharpen all the other colors around it.

Then there is the quiet of snow. Only the crunch underfoot disturbs the silence of a world stopped by the soft white lightness of snow. The shovels will come out, by necessity, and the plows will scrape and clear. The families of little ones will make all kinds of happy noise outside . All those are welcome sounds, but there is something altogether other-worldly in the sunrise-quiet of a snowy morning.

Lastly, the birds in snow are such a mystery to me. How they fluff up their feathers to stay warm, how they forage for food in such a seemingly hostile environment. It seems a small kindness to feed the birds but in that I am reminded of how the Lord Himself cares for them (Matthew 6:26).

Tomorrow, the highs will soar to the 50s, and rain is predicted. These snow days of 2015 will be finished. It was a great run. Now, Spring, come.

Snowcream Recipe

Six Best Bible Verses About Snow

Photo Credit for Lucy Entering Narnia from the Wardrobe