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Monday Morning Moment – Belonging and Going Deep and the Blind Presumptions that It’s Actually Happening When It Isn’t

April 25, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Forbes

“The culture you create or the culture you destroy will determine the success of your business.” – Mark C. Crowley

As much as we might like, we can’t equate smiling and greeting folks we pass in the hallway with real community. Worse, just making a beeline to the elevator, conference room, or office with a studied, problem-solving look on your face does not instill confidence or credibility to those colleagues in the wake of your path to organizational excellence.

Sorry.

I’m not sure how well any of us do at creating a community of going deep or giving those around us a sense of belonging. What could help is periodically wrestling with our presumptions about work culture and employee engagement (I write about this often in this blog’s Monday Morning Moment. if you’re interested, just search here). Then make the changes that would grow such a work culture.

Going deep with employees and helping them have a strong sense of belonging are too rarely on the agenda of executive leadership. I don’t understand how that is, really, given all that’s written about it in the leadership press and all we learn from the companies experiencing growth/success. It seems a wee bit short-sighted.

Here’s the heart of it: Employees know whether they are valued and whether their organization is invested in them. Occasional fun days and gift cards to Starbucks offer a bump in the workplace routine, but the outcome will have little impact on overall employee satisfaction, performance, customer service or product excellence.

A culture where executive management, department heads, and team leaders go deep with their employees is possible, once the blinders are removed . What does that mean? It means dealing first with our presumptions and marshalling our efforts away from crazy and toward a culture of transparency and inclusiveness. It may entail perks and benefits, but more than that, such a culture thrives when personnel are proud to belong to such an organization, and their leaders know their people and strive to develop and honor them.Photo Credit: Fast Company

If, as a leader or manager, you have known success in mentoring a few, a small tribe of cohorts, then you can enlarge that to an organization-wide campaign that resets values and encourages and equips employees at all levels.

It’s worth the short-term cost to you for the long-term benefit of the organization and the individuals that make up your work community.

Bottom-line:

Andrea Huspeni writes: “How leaders choose to implement culture is everything. Some may think having the occasional happy hour, yoga session or trivia night will cut it, and while these perks help, culture runs much deeper than that. It needs to ignite inspiration, motivate teams to outperform the competition and allow employers to grow and produce results for the business. A successful high-performance culture has much more to do with the not-so-exciting tactics like transparency, support and communication than with a Ping-Pong tournament.” – Entrepreneur

Photo Credit: Slideshare

Please don’t miss the links below. Also, writing this, I thought of how these concepts apply to organizations other than businesses – including churches and other non-profits. What a difference you can make if you leave off judging the health of an organization by assessing how those closest to you are doing…and take on the whole health of your organization. There’s a lot at stake and it’s worth the effort of checking out your presumptions…learned this the hard way.

6 Surprising Insights of Successful Employee Engagement by Mark C. Crowley

Create Pockets of Excellence at Your Workplace by Shawn Murphy

Clarity and belonging – More Ways for Developing Pockets of Excellence by Shawn Murphy

7 Practices of Leaders Who Build Healthy Workplace Cultures by Brian Dodd

By the Numbers – Here’s What It Takes to Be a Top Company Culture (Infographic) by Greg Besner

8 Companies Reveal Their Secret Sauce to a High-Performance Culture (Video) by Andrea Huspeni

5 Ways Leaders Must Build a Family Environment to Achieve Excellence by Glenn Llopis

Can’t-Miss Advice: 8 Business Leaders Share How to Cultivate a Successful High-Performance Company Culture by Kim Lachance Shandrow

15 Powerful Team-Building Quotes – SlideShare

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5 Friday Faves – krueTV, Irises, Employee Trends, Alzheimer’s Caregivers, and the Promises of God

April 22, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Whew! Another Friday…looking forward to a weekend of family time, friend visits, church community, a baby shower and child’s birthday party…and still a bit of space. Space is part of what we love about Friday’s, right? Some space in the week when we can breathe deep and re-calibrate. Hope you find that in your weekend.

Here are my faves this week:

krueTV – New phone app which allows you to listen in and interact with musicians live (in real time). Of course, my favorite musician on krueTV is Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar. You can follow him and many others by downloading the app free. Listen in. Chat with the musicians. Enjoy!Photo Credit: krueTV
Irises – My favorite flowers are irises and they are blooming now. Mom grew irises in our yard. They signaled the coming of summer and the end of the school year. When we sold our parents’ home a couple of years ago, one of their granddaughters, Stephanie, did the loving work of transplanting some of those irises into her yard. I regret not doing that myself. Glad she did! Here’s one: Irises growing in our yard are thanks to the previous owner and sweet neighbors who shared them with us…and the loving care given by my husband, Dave (probably loving me more than the care of the irises…I’m grateful for both – the love and the irises).
Employee Trends – This Infographic on current and future employee trends was fascinating and helpful to me. I love infographics – not sure how much to believe them, but the visual representation of information is a great aid for remembering. This infographic speaks to trends in the workplace in 2016 – including what’s happening with the various generations at work now, automation, maternity leave, work space, and flexibility of hours/availability of employees. There is also a trend that employees who previously left a company (boomerang employees) are being accepted back more now – which is a positive trend for all of us.Photo Credit: TakeItPersonnelly
Alzheimer’s Caregivers – I am so thankful for caregivers who daily extend themselves to our loved ones with Alzheimer’s. My dad has Alzheimer’s and currently lives in an assisted living/memory care unit. Between family, friends/pastor, hospice workers, and unit staff, he is well-loved. Having visited him recently and spending hours among the residents, all of whom have some sort of dementia, I marvel at the tenacity of caring of those in his life. It means a lot to him, I’m sure, whether he can acknowledge it or not…and it means the world to us.
Promises of God – Promises are not to be given or taken lightly. My children never heard me say, “I promise”, because what if I couldn’t deliver? Only God is ever able to always deliver on His promises. That’s what makes them so precious. They are true and trustworthy, because He is. He is the God who comes near to His children. He, in fact, never leaves us or forsakes us. In a world full of flux and unsettling change, it is a deep comfort to know that God does not change. He is steadfast in love and character and He keeps His word…always. God’s promises are found throughout the Bible – you can find lists of them here, here, and here. What promises do you lean on in those hard days? Photo Credit: ShareFaith Photo Credit: kzlam36 Photo Credit: SearchQuotes

Hope you have a weekend full of the things that give you joy but with space to rest, reflect, and refresh as well. Would love to know some of your favorites of this week (in comments, below). Happy Friday!

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Open Letter to Our Young Adult Sons and to Their Moms

April 21, 2016 admindeb 6 Comments

Photo Credit: Quotesgram

When we were first becoming serious, my husband Dave answered his aunt’s question about a girlfriend and that’s how his mom found out we were dating. He would have told her, but she didn’t ask…not because she wasn’t interested…but maybe because that is the pattern we develop as moms of adult sons…

This past weekend I had the great joy of being with a large gathering of extended family. My place in that gathering was the aunt who has lived far away all their lives (at least, the young adults, for sure). I am only in town a few days, and maybe, we get one visit. It’s Q & A with Aunt Debbie – catching up, fairly non-threatening (I’m hoping), and it’s only for a few minutes with each one…so minimal and limited discomfort.

As I checked in with each of these young adult nephews, their moms were in the background in conversations of their own. When the question I asked (usually related to work/future) drew a response of new information to their moms, a maternal radar flipped on, and in the middle of their own conversations, these precious moms zeroed in on their sons. “What? When did you decide that?” When this happened with more than one nephew, it led to a sort of fascinating “aha!” moment – “No, it’s not just your mom who does that. All us moms do that sort of thing. We are just interested in our sons’ lives.”

Days later, this dance between moms and our adult sons has stayed on my mind. I’m still figuring out the steps myself, but thanks to other moms wiser and more experienced, I have grown in this area. So…if I had your sweet face in front of me right now, cherished sons and devoted moms, this is what I would say to you:

Young men…you are a marvel. Especially to your moms.* We believe we know you better than you know yourself. Forgive us for that… it comes from loving you across every day of your life…including the days you weren’t even easy to like. The closeness we have felt to you over the years isn’t an easy thing to let go. Somehow we missed the cues as you grew up that you were actually learning what we taught you – to manage your life, to make strong relationships, to become independent, to go after your dreams. We spoke into those things as you grew…and now you’re grown. Forgive us when we nudge our way into your life…we don’t really want to control as much as we want to be a part. You’re doing fine…and even when you’re not, we know from our own experience, that helping you too much isn’t helping. You know that yourself, in your heart. It may be why you hold us at arm’s length…when we press in.

Just be gentle with us…your moms. We don’t really mean to be intrusive. We’re just trying to figure out the balance ourselves. What’s too much? What’s not enough? It keeps us up at night sometimes. Can you believe that? Yes…you probably can. Anyway, we will try not to ask so many questions, and we’ll try not to give unasked advice…but you know we’re going to fail at that. So call occasionally before we have to hunt you down… Be your familiar self at home with us sometimes (we miss that old normal). Share your successes with us, so our hopes can crowd out our fears. Your mama loves you…she just misses you sometimes…even if you’re still living at home. This next stage of your life…this newly grown-up stage is both exhilarating and strange for her…She will figure out her place in it…as you give her grace to do so. Stepping on toes is part of the learning, so thanks for your gentleness and your strong arm of support.Photo Credit: Good News Network

Moms of adult sons…I’m one of you. Doesn’t it feel like it’s always our fault…about something or other? Well, for a few minutes, let’s leave off blaming…ourselves, our sons, or anyone else in the equation. Right now, I wish we were having coffee around the same table and talking together about what we’ve discovered of this new life – this new relationship between our grown-up sons and us.Photo Credit: Saga

Here’s what I’m learning and what has been helpful counsel from others:

Give space and keep space. I don’t understand it, but it does seem like our sons need a bit of breathing room. There is so much change in their own lives, they need to process it themselves. If they choose not to do that with us, we must give them the space to do it with someone else (best friend, Dad, girlfriend/wife). Don’t pull away when that happens (which might be our temptation). Keep space in our lives for these sons of ours. Whether through a card, a text/quick phone call, an occasional invitation for dinner. If you’re like me, you long for those regular family dinners like we see on the TV show Blue Bloods…but a quick burger out can also be a joyful experience…if we let it be.Photo Credit: Huffington Post
Helping and enabling may look similar but are not. I will be brief here because there is tons online about this. Related to our adult sons, we can help them (as they can, us) without it being a toxic or enabling situation. Do we treat our sons more like neighbors and friends or more like those little boys they once were? We have to examine our own hearts on this one. When it comes to our adult sons, do we love them in ways that free them to love others? Do we invest in them such that they actually are able to get farther down the road in life or the investment tightens their dependence on us? Puzzle this out as I do the same.
Communicate in our adult sons’ heart language. This came as a shock to me as our sons grew up, because I thought we communicated fairly well through the years. Unfortunately, I discovered that while they were in our home, it was Mom who too often set the tone and topic of our conversations. Now I am learning (still a beginner here) to follow our sons’ leads on conversations… I may still choose a topic but I don’t push it to its limit with them, as once was the case. Hopefully, this makes sense, and hopefully they have seen me grow in this area. How about you, Moms? Would love to hear (in comments) what your experience is in this language/conversation arena.
Keep our sense of humor. As these sons of ours are growing up, we are growing older. They are not us…their choices and life aspirations may surprise us, but they are still works in progress. Our lives are, as well. We have not arrived. When our values or decisions clash, moms tend to either get mad or hurt…neither bode well in our relationships with our sons. We must learn how to take our emotions by the neck and wrestle them to the floor… proactively. Some song lyrics come to mind as I think about this – also these lyrics reflect the advice received from wise moms in my life. “Get over it“, “Let it go“, and tell yourself, “I will survive” and “Tell your heart to beat again.” [Sidebar: I don’t even like the song “Let It Go” from the Disney film Frozen, but it’s advice that I’ve frequently received from mom friends].

So…that’s all I have today. Anything you’re willing to add to the conversation? It’s still somewhat of a forest for me…picking my way through…with you.

And, you sons of ours- we love you. Not as well, maybe, as we had hoped…but if we all keep at it, we may find even our relationships will get sweeter as life goes on. I’m hoping, anyway. Believing.

Photo Credit: Quotesgram

*This open letter may only speak to some, so if this is not helpful or doesn’t address your situation, I don’t mean to offend or presume. Parenting and being parented can be immensely satisfying and, at the same time, greatly complicated. If I can encourage, that is my goal…having the answers has to come from someone wiser than me.

YouTube Video – I Will Survive – scene from the film The Replacements

Parenting Adult Children by Todd Carey

When Helping Hurts – Are You an Enabling Parent? by Allison Bottke

When Is It OK to Be a Helicopter Parent? by Susan Krauss Whitbourne

Relationships Between Mothers and Adult Sons by Susan Adcox

The 6 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Adult Child by Linda Bernstein

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

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Worship Wednesday – Winter Jam – a Worship Fest

April 20, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: PNC Arena

It is good to give thanks to the LORD and to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your loving kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night. – Psalm 92:1-2

Concerts in large venues with thousands of people aren’t really my idea of a good time. Way too many people, music so loud I can feel it in my chest (that can’t be healthy), and expensive tickets. Just too many obstacles to a sweet musical experience. Then a few years ago, while our family lived in Morocco, we attended a weekend concert event called Friendship Fest.

It was amazing to stand in this huge crowd of Moroccans and others (us being among the others), listening to bands we loved and bands we would love afterwards.

I haven’t been to such an event since then, but now I’m rethinking this…especially after seeing the concert film highlighting the Winter Jam Tour Spectacular.

Winter Jam is an enormous production of Christian bands and solo artists who tour together, providing a raucous, joyful evening of music and worship. Winter Jam has been around since 1995 when first started by NewSong with the goal of bringing Christian music (and the Gospel message) to a wider audience. They did this through using larger venues and dropping ticket/admission prices to a voluntary donation.Photo Credit: Winter Jam Tour 2016

It worked.

Even today, thanks to a large host of national partners/sponsors, the Winter Jam Tour is still very affordable ($10 donation).

Some of my favorite artists were in this year’s Winter Jam Tour – David Crowder, Matthew West, and For King & Country. Blog - Winter Jam - For King & Country Photo Credit: Winter Jam Tour

Winter Jam is not just a concert…it’s a worship fest. Somehow I have missed being aware of this tour, but after seeing the film, I hope to go next time…clearly it’s not just an event to attend, but to experience God within.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. – Zephaniah 3:17

Going Deeper with Jesus – Winter Jam

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Just Breathe – Writing as Solace and More

April 14, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: Write to Done

Too much to do, and no time to write. Not a fan of these kinds of days. Still…it is what it is, and my time in front of a screen or blank page is limited by necessity today. And the next few days.

Just breathe.

As Maugham puts it, “Writing is the supreme solace.” I wouldn’t go that far, because prayer and community take writing down the list to #3. I do miss it when it can’t fit into the day.

Writing brings order to my thoughts. As an extrovert leaning toward introversion as I get older, the thoughts pinging around in my brain don’t seem always to make sense until they’re out in conversation or writing. Even in conversation, I’m not sure if it does justice to those thoughts.

So I write.

Today there is no time. The “real world” presses in and I welcome it…with its women and children, and errands, and laundry. If I don’t see my neighbor’s backyard azaleas today, they will be gone. My friend whose son is having surgery may need me later, so I must keep space in the day for her.

Small and large things keep me from writing today…even from thinking deeply…so I leave you now. Life, instead of writing about life, is the order of the day. Thank you for spending these moments with me, Reader Friend. You must understand about words.

Hope and Solace: Advice for Writers

Quotes on Solace – GoodReads

Why I Write – Jessica Morrell

YouTube Video – Breathe by Johnny Diaz with Lyrics

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Worship Wednesday – With Hope – Steven Curtis Chapman

April 13, 2016 admindeb 6 Comments

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13

It’s been quite some time since I attended a funeral. Not that we haven’t lost dear friends in the last few years…but we lived far away at the time and just didn’t go. This time…when Heath died…we went.

Death is something no one wants to have to look on full-face. There’s no way really to polish it up. It is our final enemy. Our temptation is to remove ourselves as far from suffering and death as we can. When someone you love is on this path, then how can we do anything else but enter in…?

Heath lived 15 months or so with a devastating, killing cancer. That in itself was a miracle. When he died, a small loving family is left to figure out a new normal for their lives. They won’t be alone in this.

How thankful I am that God draws close to His children in the daily and in death. Heath’s wife and children will have what they need to face what comes next. God is faithful. God is good.

When a gifted, lovely 42-years-young man dies, leaving a wife and three little girls, can we say in this that God is good? If we cannot, then we never can. We cannot see what God sees, but we know from experience and from His Word that He will work good out of every situation in His children’s lives…every. single. situation.

Heath understood that, and he lived it. His family does as well.

You might not think that a funeral can be a joyous thing. I don’t cry easily. Maybe after so many of our own losses, maybe after years of cancer nursing…tears just don’t come at the usual times. During Heath’s funeral, I couldn’t stop them from rolling down. Out of love and out of loss…but also out of wonder at the beauty of God’s care and character.

With Hope is a song written by Steven Curtis Chapman in 2008 after the accidental death of his 5 y/o daughter, Maria. The tribute video for Heath at his funeral featured this song as the soundtrack and it was so right. Somehow, especially in times of loss, God weaves a deep hope into our faith. I saw it in Heath’s family…and I experienced it myself. God is good…always.

Worship with me.

This is not at all
How we thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We has so many dreams
But now you’ve gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you

And we can cry with hope
We can say good-bye with hope
‘Cause we know our good-bye is not the end
And we can grieve with hope
‘Cause we believe with hope
There’s a place where we’ll see your face again
We’ll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God’s plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father smile and say ‘well done.’
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
‘Cause now your home
And now your free

[Chorus]

We have this hope as an anchor
‘Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true

[Chorus]

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope*Photo Credit: Facebook

Postscript: Toward the end of Heath’s funeral, a solitary musician with guitar began to sing Come to Jesus. We, in that gathering, were all suspended in our thoughts of Heath, sad in our loss of him and full of joy that he was Home with the Lord. In the emotion of that moment, the singer, just into the first verse of that beautiful, soulful song, faltered. He willed his voice to continue but couldn’t. Even as his voice gave away, soft voices in the congregation took up where he left off. He strummed the guitar, and we sang…quietly, full of reverence at the meaning of all before us.

It is what we find in the truest experience of the Family of God and the grace of God. We all falter sometimes…we all fall. He lifts us up – either through the hands and voices of others, or by His own hand and word. He carries us. He helps us see beyond the pain and wretchedness of an unbelievable loss…to the glory of that life, of our lives, and His glory reflected in them.

Hallelujah!

*Lyrics to With Hope by Steven Curtis Chapman

Steven Curtis Chapman

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” – 1 Peter 1:3-9

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5 Friday Faves – Parental Pressures, Global Leadership Summit Highlights, Tim Ferriss, NCAA Championship Highlights, & American Idol Finale

April 8, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Friday, again. Hope you had a wonderful week or, at least, now maybe you can recover from it. These are my 5 favorite finds this week – very different from each other. Enjoy the rest of your day and sweet weekend.

1) Parental Pressures – Bunmi Laditan is the author of The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting. In a piece for Huffington Post, she declares “I’m done making my kids’ childhood magical.” I loved it because the pressure parents feel today to make their children’s lives magical is so unnecessary. The pressures from Pinterest and other social media seep into our family cultures and place undue expectations on us to escalate birthday parties, vacations, after-school activities to “better and better, more and more”. To what end? Fortunately for me as a mom, our oldest was extraordinarly creative and led in our children all playing well together as children. They performed plays with little figures which they drew and cut out. When it was too hot for outside play, living in Cairo, Egypt, they roller-skated in apartment hallways . OK, so we did get to live in extraordinary places. They have gotten to experience 5 of the 11 Epcot Center countries without going to Disney World yet. So they have had an advantage in that. Magical, however, was never a goal of ours for their childhood. Like Laditan says, “Childhood is inherently magical” already. So I say hats-off to you parents who give your children occasions for great whimsy and delight, and hats-off to you who can also keep it simple. Hands in the dirt. Fishing with grandpa. Learning a second language. P.S. Laditan’s article How to Put a Toddler to Bed in 100 Easy Steps is hysterical (even for that weary parent).

2) Global Leadership Summit Highlight – Best money we have spent for a conference in recent years. Bill Hybels brings together great leaders to speak on a wide range of topics suited for any of us in positions of authority/influence – on business, community, service, relationships, and the world. You can register right here for the 2016 summit. We attended at a satellite location less than 30 minutes from home.Photo Credit: Willowcreek

Brian Dodd’s 150 Leadership Quotes from Bill Hybels from the Global Leadership Summit (2013-2015 Leadership Summits)

Also: Slideshare by Maruay Songtanin entitled The 100 Greatest Leadership Principles of All Time

3) Tim Ferriss on becoming an effective CEO – Well, Tim Ferriss didn’t write this one, although he teaches us tons of fascinating stuff through his Four Hour Work Week blog. This topic was covered by a guest on his blog – Chip Conley, author of Emotional Equations: Simple Truths for Creating Happiness + Success. Conley entered the hospitality industry in his 20’s and developed a strong ideology of valuing the intangible. He even became known as Chief Emotions Officer. [I can hear the eyes rolling.] Still, for those of you in leadership who are willing to learn something out of your comfort zone, learn from Chip Conley. Not necessarily about Buddhism or Maslow, but about employee engagement, work culture, and customer service.Photo Credit: True North Leadership

Leaders who don’t at least have processes in place to address such matters for their employees and customers have blinders on. Just sayin’. I wrote on another innovative and excellent hotelier, Horst Schulze, on a similar topic – world-class customer service.

TED Talk – Chip Conley on Measuring What Makes Life Worthwhile

http://fourhourworkweek.com/2012/01/19/chip-conley-emotional-equations/

4) NCAA Championship Highlights – This year’s March Madness ended with basketball greatness with the game between Villanova and North Carolina. Both tremendous teams and a battle to the end for the NCAA Championship. Such an incredible game! Villanova pulled out the victory in the last seconds. Photo Credit: WoodTV

If you didn’t see the game or want to just replay the great moments of the game, here are the highlights:

5) American Idol Finale – American Idol is over and I will miss it. I wasn’t a forever fan, but this farewell season has been fascinating from first to finish. On the final show, there were two hours of past winners, contestants, and judges showcased with lots of Hollywood hoopla. Also, the winner of this, the final season was revealed. This year’s American Idol is La’Porsha…..nope. It is Trent. I was surprised, although he is a completely amazing singer. Maybe it wasn’t so surprising as the culture of American Idol is driven by the voting of social-media savvy young people (I’m thinking) – possibly more girls (again, a guess). Handsome Dalton Rapattoni‘s fans, after his elimination, may have rolled their votes over to handsome Trent Harmon. Or, as the mic picked up one of them saying to the other as they hugged after the announcement: “It was God’s will.” La’Porsha Renae had to be a bit disappointed not to win. She is magnificent, and the only place she is going is up in the music world. She and Trent both got record contracts, so good news!

Here’s a sample of La’Porsha’s gift. Don’t miss her, because she is a rising star, destined for wherever God and that voice will take her.

Then there’s Trent…also incredibly gifted and ready for the music industry. Don’t miss his interpretation of Sia‘s Chandelier.

lastly, here, quite poignantly is the announcement of the winner, the last song, and the last goodbye…for now.

Trent Harmon Wins Last American Idol Ever – TV Guide piece by Liam Mathews with Finale Highlights

‘American idol’ Names Harmon its Final Winner – Bill Keveney, USA Today

‘American Idol’ 2016 Series Finale Recap: Who Is Your Final ‘American Idol’? by Jerica Tisdale for Starpulse

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Heath Has Finished His Race…

April 7, 2016 admindeb 10 Comments

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me–the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace. – Acts 20:24

We all assume we will live long on this earth…but it doesn’t always work that way. For this reason, we are inspired to live as if our years will be short here. Heath did that…

Our friend Heath had the kind of disease that kills people. Don’t even Google it. The thing is…Heath had too much to live for to stop living because of a horrific diagnosis. He lived hard and with all his heart until the day he would come to the end of his earthly life…which was today.

It’s almost impossible to find a picture of him without his family. I decided not to post images of his sweet kids but you will see them in the video below. If ever there was one identified as a family man it was/is Heath. You just always clumped them together…what a joy that was for all of us…and for him.

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. – 1 Timothy 6:12

Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. – 1 Corinthians 9:13

It’s just been a couple of hours since we heard of his Homegoing so I really don’t have many words…except to say thank you, Heath. For your life of faithfulness. For your enduring love for God, your family, friends, and the people with whom you worked and neighbored here in the US and overseas. Thank you, for the kindness of your heart and your fierce courage. Thank you, for staying fully in this life for as long as you could. You will be missed something awful. Your legacy has only begun.

A very close friend of Heath and his family posted this video on YouTube. Thanks, Wray, for this.

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. – 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Heath fought a good fight; he finished his course; he kept the faith… for us there is still a race to be run…and to finish.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. – Hebrews 10:23

YouTube Video – When It’s All Been Said and Done – Robin Mark

Postscript – We do not fight our battles or run our races alone…how thankful I am for a loving and all-powerful God who draws near in our distresses. He is perfect in how He saves and gives us aid. Heath did not live as long as we would have desired, but he lived so well. God healed him on the other side…I don’t understand that and won’t until Heaven, but I trust God in this. He gives His children what we need always. What God gave Heath was Himself and a wife, parents, children, physicians, and friends who fought hard for him and with him as he battled this cancer. May they know the tenderness of God’s presence now as before…and may they know, as Heath knows now, the “Well done” in the knowledge that they did all they could do.

All Good Gifts, Attending or Focus, Faithfulness, God, Gospel, Heaven, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Lives Full of God, Remembering, steadfast love, Wednesday Worship, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Knowing You, Jesus – Graham Kendrick

April 6, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: Slideshare

Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. – Philippians 3:7-12

When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Philippian church, he wrote from prison. He loved this church and wanted to encourage them to stay true to the teachings of Christ, in humility and unity together. As he wrote about the “surpassing worth of knowing Christ“, he listed out some of his own qualifications of renown(Philippians 3:3-6) …and counted them as rubbish, filth, dung in comparison.

Cliff Jordan, lead pastor of Movement Church, taught on this passage this week (podcast here). At one point, Cliff pointed us to the things we value in life and how sin relates to that. If we kill an ant, we don’t consider that as much because of the value of the ant. Then he moved to higher and higher objects of value and our level of loathing when we sin against those (a museum piece, a neighbor’s pet, a child…the Lord Himself). It was a powerful teaching.

Our tendency is to discount our sin, or even how we spend our time, other resources, or our words… It’s not so bad… When we are lavished with the opportunity and experience of truly knowing and experiencing God through Christ, the Messiah…how can we squander that? How can we allow the lesser of this life to crowd out the greater?

We, as a family, first sang Graham Kendrick’s song Knowing You as newcomers to Cairo, Egypt, in 1995. We sang it along with Brits, Australians, Egyptians, Americans and a smattering of other internationals at the Heliopolis Community Church.

Photo Credit: HCC Cairo

Our experience of Jesus, through this song and this Scripture, was deepened more when our young friend Genessa led worship in our house group. She would sit at a keyboard, singing that song to Jesus, tears flowing down her face, as if no one else was in the room but her…and Him. As young as she was, she understood the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus. Genessa would not be long in this world, dying months later in a bus accident in the desert of the Sinai.

Her love for God is her legacy still in all of our lives who knew her. Now her joy is complete as she worships the Lord face-to-face. We remember her…and we understand God more…in this song.

Today, I see the worth of Christ much more clearly…thanks to Cliff, and Genessa, and others’ lives full of God. I also see His worth through His Word and the testimony of those who knew Him personally…who saw Him, witnessed His greatness, and wrote it down for the generations to follow. the best part of all is I see His worth because of His own sweet presence in my life. The more we seek and savor Him…the more we see His perfect love and generous goodness…and everything else in our life? In its place…lesser in the face of His greater, all-surpassing worth.

Worship with me:

All I once held dear, built my life upon
All this world reveres, and wars to own
All I once thought gain I have counted loss
Spent and worthless now, compared to this

Knowing you, Jesus
Knowing you, there is no greater thing
You’re my all, you’re the best
You’re my joy, my righteousness
And I love you, Lord

Now my heart’s desire is to know you more
To be found in you and known as yours
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All-surpassing gift of righteousness

Oh, to know the power of your risen life
And to know You in Your sufferings
To become like you in your death, my Lord
So with you to live and never die

Lyrics to Knowing You by Graham Kendrick @1993 Make Way Music

Story Behind the Song Knowing You (All I Once Held Dear) by Graham Kendrick

Inspired, Music, Remembering, Seasons, Social Media, Transformational

American Idol – Season 15 – This is Why I Watch

April 5, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: StarPulse

This is my last week of watching reality TV. After 15 seasons, American Idol, with Ryan Seacrest as host, is going off the air. I’ve only watched a handful of those seasons, but somehow, while living overseas, I watched Kelly Clarkson win the competition on Season 1. She had an incredible voice and stage presence then, and has only gotten better.

Why do I still watch Idol when I can? OK, first there is the whole premise of the show – giving talented young people this wild opportunity to have stardom within their grasp. All the grooming, the coaching, the stretching of a reality show. I’m sure there is tons of stuff behind the scenes that I wouldn’t love…but it’s fascinating to watch these young performers deal with the pressures, make friends, and hone their craft.

Then there’s the panel of judges – Keith Urban, Harry Connick, Jr., and Jennifer Lopez. They’re gorgeous, brilliantly talented, and smart. It’s fun to watch them, except this year it was a tad painful. This was their last year on American Idol, and there was an emotional undercurrent that surfaced occasionally. Sometimes testy, but most of the time, sentimental and sweet. I will miss them.Photo Credit: Hide.Me

Although the show’s system of selecting finalists is through social media voting, I am sure the judges influence that voting. Just like the blogger for AmericanIdolNet, I started picking how the Top 10 ranked based on the judges’ comments and enthusiasm or lack thereof. Our picks were very similar. Photo Credit: AmericanIdolNet

From the Top 24 (image at top of post) through to the last, the eliminations have been painful. Really lovely, gifted young singers/musicians. They all will carve out some measure of success given their crazy talent and winsomeness.

This week is the finale week. Three evenings of American Idol – from a special retrospective on all 15 years of the show, to the final competition between the Top 3, to the finale (when the winner of American Idol 2016 is revealed and the show has its last huge last hurrah).

I will be watching all three.

The remaining finalists in contention are all great performers. If you haven’t been keeping up with Idol, let me tell you just a bit about them.

Dalton Rapattoni is a vocal coach in Texas. He gets hair cut and colored at his grandmother’s beauty salon. Dalton has these puppy-dog eyes, a shy smile, and such a voice! On the last episode, he was sure he was going to be cut (even had written with marker on his hands the expressions: “I’m OK” and “It’s alright”). He didn’t get cut. Less than a minute later, he had to compose himself and perform God Only Knows (BeachBoys). This kid has such heart! Here’s the video from that performance:

Trent Harmon works in his family’s restaurant (with produce straight from their Mississippi farm). He has a killer voice with a unique and appealing quality (range and vibrato). Sick with mono early in the competition and without his family with him, he has toughed it out right to the end with huge support from the judges…which he deserves. Listen to him sing….wow!

Then there is La’Porsha Renae. Also from Mississippi, this 22y/o single mom of an adorable daughter is a powerhouse singer. Unless some voting fluke happens, she will be the last American Idol. All three of these finalists are extraordinary, but La’Porsha is the one…I believe. Two of her songs are in the videos below. She cries at the end of both (which didn’t happen with other songs, just so you know) – the first time, I think she was overwhelmed by the support of the audience; the second time, because it was a powerful benediction to her short marriage to an abusive husband. She has so much class….and this voice…and the hair? Hers, too.

That’s all the words I have…except for wanting to close with the video of Kelly Clarkson singing her latest “Piece by Piece” on American Idol. I actually love this live version much more than her official video. She tells the story of her dad leaving her family when she was 6 y/o. He left and didn’t look back. Interwoven in this incredible song is also a salute to her husband and the father of her daughter…a man who showed her how good a father could be. It’s beautiful…

So that’s my summary on this show…and why I watch. It’s a good season to end on…

This Week on American Idol 2016 – Series Finale and Three-Night Event Schedule

‘American Idol’ Finale Week Kicks Off with a Look Back at All 15 Seasons