Category Archives: Bookmarked Summer

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Worship Wednesday – Rest – The Unmistakable Presence of the Holy Spirit of God – with Bryan & Katie Torwalt

July 29, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” – Exodus 33:14

There is nothing like the deep rest, the divine peace, that comes in the presence of the Holy Spirit of God. It is unmistakable because it is wholly unlike anything else we ever experience.

God was very present with us at the passing of our Mom – the rock of our family. Watching our friends recently walk through the Home-going of their dear wife, mother, grandmother, and friend was another picture of the drawing near of a merciful God – our shelter in that storm of life.

I’ve written before of our experience of Nathan Mills‘ Senior Guitar Concert. In preparing his pieces for the concert, he added hours of practice to an already full playing schedule. Out of that, he developed a hand injury that required him to “rest” his hands for 2 weeks prior to his concert. He still “played” in his head, as guitarists do, but he came into the concert with rested hands when practiced hands would have been better. Or so he thought.

He played so well, it was as if the hand of God Himself was on Nathan. Even as the pain broke through, he was able to come to a beautiful finish.

Afterward, in viewing some of video of the concert, there was some sort of artifact (light bouncing off the face of his guitar, or something) which appeared as a shaft of light tracing vertically down through his playing hand. Like the enabling power of God. Not intending to over-spiritualize, it was a reflection of our experience of that concert. Knowing of his pre-concert uncertainty and then the pain returning, yet watching him play and hearing that glorious sound. It was a God moment for us.

God does show up in our lives more than we allow ourselves to even imagine. Often, it is in a time of wrestling or a dark night of the soul.

An excerpt follows from the book The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. Brent describes a crisis phone call from a counseling client, and the deep experience of God’s presence:

“Once we begin thinking of all the deceptions the enemy is about with regard to our lives, we have a tendency to become obsessed with him, fearful of what he is going to do next. Once we take him seriously, he switches from his tactic of “I’m not here” to one of having us worry about him day and night, which is almost a form of worship. God graciously showed me this several years ago while I was in the midst of an intense, three-year spiritual battle on behalf of a client who had spent years in the control of a satanic cult.

One night, David (not his real name) called me on the phone at three in the morning, in the midst of painful spiritual torment. We talked and prayed and I began to read from the Psalms. Finally, I could hear by his deep breathing that he had fallen asleep. As I lay on my dining room floor, pondering whether to leave the phone off the hook and build up a huge phone bill or hang up and risk having the beeping of the phone-off-the-hook signal wake David, something wonderful and strange took place.

In my heart, I heard a voice say, “Brent, forget about the battle. You’re here with me now. Rest.” I looked up, actually expecting to see God in some way, or perhaps an angel. What I did see was the light in the room change. I find myself wanting to say it grew more distinct, almost more personal. I only know I discovered that my hand was raised in the air in worship. I didn’t decide to raise it. I am not, by any means, an expressive person in the charismatic sense of the word. It was simply as if there was no other appropriate response and my hand acted accordingly. For several minutes I basked in what I can only describe now as God’s warmth and love toward me. The epiphany ended with me reading the Twenty-third Psalm and others it seemed the Lord had chosen to assure me that I was not alone in the battle.”

We are not alone. God’s Spirit is with us and brings us into His rest.

Worship with me with Francesca Battistelli’s singing of Holy Spirit (written by Bryan & Katie Torwalt):

There’s nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You’re our living hope
Your presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord

CHORUS
Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

There’s nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You’re our living hope
Your presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord

CHORUS

Let us become more aware of Your presence
Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

CHORUS

Lyrics to Holy Spirit at K-Love – Songwriters: Bryan & Katie Torwalt

YouTube Video – Bryan & Katie Torwalt – Holy Spirit (Live @ JCEncounter 2013)

YouTube Video – Story Behind the Song – Holy Spirit

YouTube Video – Francesca Battistelli – Holy Spirit

The Sacred Romance (1997) by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge

Worship Wednesday – Stones of Remembrance – 12 Occasions Where We Saw God Act Mightily (Part 2)

The Sacred Romance Quotes at Goodreads.com

Notes and Quotes from The Sacred Romance

More Notes and Quotes from The Sacred Romance

My Favorite Literature – The Sacred Romance

The Sacred Romance: Quotes

Suffering

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Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

July 27, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Turning that last page of a great book is both satisfying and a bit sad. Satisfying in that I have gained so much insight and empowerment in reading Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Sad in that I will miss this super-practical literary journey with Acuff. Such a great read and such a fascinating journey. Looking forward to your next project, Jon.

[Jon Acuff’s words are in italics or bold font. Enjoy.]

Jon starts his section on hustle with a quote by Jack Gilbert: “Music is in the piano only when it is played.” Writing as a not-so-musical member of a musical family, I resonate with this.

In Do Over, hustle is defined as “shorthand for ‘work hard’. Hustle is not just something we add to our Career Savings Account. It is something that multiples everything else we have in it.”

Remember Jon’s formula in Do Over:

(Relationships + Skills + Character) x Hustle = Career Savings Account

To apply hustle, you need grit, flexibility and awareness. As I plowed through Jon Acuff’s writing on hustle, it became very clear that to go after our dreams we have to let go of fear and doubt, all the “what-if’s”, and take hold of what we have to do to get us where we hope to go. It’s work. It’s doable, but we can’t go into it half-way. It takes grit.

“Fear hates hustle. Nothing enrages fear like deciding to actually work hard…Grit is being stubborn in the face of fear. Grit is believing in can when can’t is loud.” – Jon Acuff

Stephen Pressfield says, “The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” (p. 213)

Photo Credit: nathanmillsguitar.com

Flexibility enters in when you refuse to have a narrow view of perfection or success. Instead of believing fear’s lie of “I don’t have what it takes,” flexibility gives you the courage to say, “I have what it takes to try.”

“Fear is not the same thing as regret. Regret is a small stream that cuts a canyon into your heart slowly over time. Will you face the fear of today or the regret of forever? Will you attack your fear of failure, maybe even fail and try again?” – Jon Acuff

Make Grit Decisions.

Here is what Jon says every grit decision needs:

Time – we think the world “hustle” has to mean fast, but it can also mean focus, intention, pace.
Counsel – Lean on your relationships. Some of the worst decisions are made alone. Who are your advocates? Have you given them time to reflect on it or are you rushing right by the wisdom they have to offer? Let them speak into it. A year from now, looking back on the decision, you’ll be glad you made it as a team.
Questions – Always ask awesome opportunities, awesome questions. We skimp on due diligence. “What am I not seeing right now?”
Kindness – Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision, because…you’re going to. Break the tension of feeling like you’re going to be perfect by giving yourself some kindness from the outset.
Honesty – When you look back on a decision, remember that you made that decision with the best information you had at the time.

Acuff encourages the reader to build a Grit List – those things you may not want to do but you know they are the things that will get you in position to take advantage of that career opportunity (stronger relationships, sharpened skills, deeper character). For Jon, one of those things was e-mail. He reconciled the hard work of writing and responding to e-mail in a wise and timely fashion. What would be on your Grit List?

Be aware. “The first half of hustle is addition [new relationships, new skills and new character], but you don’t get to add anything to your life unless you remove something else…You’ll need to find space in your life. “

Photo Credit: acuff.me

My husband says, “Whenever you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else.” What will you say no to, to say yes to this?

In review, at some point during your career you will:

Hit a Career Ceiling and get stuck, requiring sharp skills to free yourself.
Lose a job unexpectedly, or need one upon graduating, requiring strong relationships to survive.
Make a Career Jump, requiring solid character to navigate the chaos that jumps always generate.
And finally, in the case of hustle, you will get a surprise opportunity you didn’t see coming, requiring smart hustle to make the most of it. In moments like that, you’ll need awareness to recognize what to do, grit to actually do it and flexibility to respond to the surprises.

Jon tells story after story in his section on Hustle about ordinary people who overcame their fears and doubts and worked hard to have the careers they wanted. “Every Do Over avoided because of fear fails. Hustle, grit, and flexibility is ‘crawling through a window when the door is slammed shut.'”

“Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other.” – Mary Caroline Richards

Why not me? Why not now? Why not here?

“You really think you can do this?” You’ve probably asked yourself that question. Fear loves that question. On a walk in the woods, on a calm spring day I answered it for myself. “Apparently, I can.”

Finally Jon Acuff looks us straight in the eye, kindly, and says, “I think that can be your answer too. Do you think you can have a Do Over?

Apparently, you can.

[Buy Jon’s book, subscribe to his blog, follow him on Facebook and Twitter, listen to his podcasts. I don’t say this casually. He has won an audience by doing all the hard things he encourages the reader to do and then sharing what he’s learned for pennies when you think how much your life is worth. I’m on my own Do Over. Going for it. Thanks again, Jon.]

Photo Credit: SmartCreativeWomen.com

My Previous Blogs on Jon Acuff’s Do Over – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 – Today’s Blog is final piece in Series

YouTube Video – Jon Acuff’s Top Tips on Hustle (in 1 Minute)

Jon Acuff Hustle Archives

Jon Acuff Starts Over

Start: Jon Acuff on Rescuing Time, Hustle, and His Book Start – Podcast

What Hustling Means, with Jon Acuff – Podcast

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Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

July 20, 2015 admindeb 5 Comments

Photo Credit: Nancy Ray Photography

Who would have thought reading a business book would become a deeply personal experience? Encouraging. Empowering. Do Over has launched itself in my life. Jon (the writer) and Jenny (the wife) Acuff have become like good friends, in a virtual book-driven way. He’s clearly a funny, risk-taking, keen observer of people in the workplace. She, on the other hand, seems to both hold his feet to the ground and spur him on to what’s next. I’m pretty certain that Jon’s “do over” has Jenny written all over it. Thank you, Jenny.

When he talks about character (in the section of the book I’m covering today), he compares it to planting fruit trees. Character takes time to grow. Its fruit is worth the work and the wait.

As in previous blogs in this series, Jon will do most of the talking.

9 quotes follow. Also an exercise and a closing challenge. I hope you read the book. It is seriously, or not so much seriously, like grappling with a friend about a deep longing for career. Then receiving the best. advice. ever. Jon’s cool, and all…but his own fight for humility and honesty and his own fears and failures give him a platform. A platform to talk into my life and into the lives of those I love the most – my husband and my adult children. Thank you, Jon.

So here’s a bit of what he says about character and its impact on us in the workplace…especially in considering a Career Jump.

“Relationships get you the first gig. Skills get you the second. Character is the reason that people will still want to give you another chance if the first opportunity fails. Character is the mortar between all the other parts [relationships, skills, hustle] of the Career Savings Account. It’s what holds the other things together. “

“Character is also what you need the most when you make a positive, voluntary career transition, or what we’re calling a “Career Jump.” You need it the most then because it will be tested the most when you ‘just go for it’ or ‘chase a dream’.”

“When you make a [career] jump, you will be tempted to cut corners, to quit when the going gets tough and lose your patience when the results you expected don’t immediately happen. It is your character that will push you forward.”

Exercise: This time we don’t use note cards, but a notebook would be handy. Jon asks the question: What’s one character trait, related to your career, that you’d like to grow stronger? That’s where we start. You might still want a friend’s help in this. None of us are perfect, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Just pick one to start.

As part of this exercise, consider those weeds in the workplace that could choke out that character trait you’re planting and nurturing. Jon lists four especially nasty (and all too common) ones:

Narcissism – our focus is all on ourselves. Weighing every decision and process in your workplace as it relates to you.
Dishonesty – Covering a mistake, embellishing our performance, gossiping, outright lying.
Pessimism – That negative cup-half-empty (or even broken) take on how things are going at work. It’s not just a weed in your own orchard but it can seed clouds over your coworkers’ view of work. Pessimism can rob you of the ability to brainstorm and to dream (“two activities that require the optimism of creativity”).
Apathy – you’ve gotten to the place you just don’t care anymore. What was once being passive now becomes deeply defiant. Partnered with pessimism, you convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to do a Career Jump. A dry and dogged inertia can set in, crippling your ability to orchestrate a Career Jump.

Acuff focuses on 3 character traits in particular to grow in your Career Savings Account: Generosity, Empathy, & Being Present.

“Generosity is a game-changer. During a Career Jump give generously as a way to beat back the weed of greed. Greed will end up costing you a lot more than you think. Make your definition of generosity bigger by being generous with your skills and time, not just your money.”

“Empathy = Understanding someone else’s needs and acting on them. Generosity and empathy are closely intertwined; they go hand in hand. The stronger you get in one, the stronger you’ll get in the other.”

“The simplest thing you can do to be empathetic [is to] show up.”

“If you really want to reinvent your work and get ahead, there are three things you need to deal with – your phone, your computer and your meetings. Be present.”

[You hear this a lot these days – how distracting are our phones and other electronic devices, and how our shortened attention spans have impaired us related to deep thinking and creative, out-of-the-box dreaming and decision-making. The ones who deal with these will be the outliers – the leaders in the fields of our future. It’s laid out there – now for us to take our lives back.]

“You need character the most when you decide to chase a dream. “

“The moment you decide to make any sort of change in your career, you send other areas of your life into chaos. The bigger the change, the bigger the chaos. Wherever you jump, your character jumps with you.”

Challenge: “Is living with the chaos of a decision easy? Not really, but you do get used to it. I try to create [chaos] sometimes as a way to hide from something else I’m afraid of. I’ve discovered that’s a lightning-fast way to drain a Career Savings Account. When real chaos comes…don’t fight it. If anything, lean into it. ‘Easy’ and ‘adventure’ very rarely travel together.”

These Four Character Flaws Can Kill Your Career – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff – Character Archives

The Awesome Career Audit – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff Quotes by Goodreads (different from ones above)

Why I Hate Jon Acuff by Rob Shep

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

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10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

July 13, 2015 admindeb 6 Comments

Photo Credit: Nathan Mills Guitar

There’s this guitarist I know. His music is a work in progress. Not his music itself, because he hones his craft daily. Still, his career in music is a study in skill development. No industry stands still. The ability to silence a room with the sound you bring out of a guitar does not a living make. Usually.

There are so many other skills called to bear in a successful career in music today. Composing, arranging, teaching, performing, collaborating, marketing, production, diversifying style or instrument. Whew!

Then there’s your day job (by necessity, or for other reasons). Wisdom is to bring the same disciplines and desire, of that skilled musician, to work every day. To be the best asset you can be for your employer or your company. Shirking entitlement and nurturing an attitude of graciousness and gratitude.

Who is this person?!

Jon Acuff talks about becoming such a person in his book Do Over. He tackles the subject of sharpening and developing skills as imperative to any career, and especially to break through a Career Ceiling.

Have you ever gotten stuck in a job? No, I’m not talking about being ungrateful or feeling entitled to a better situation. I’m talking stuck – as in getting to a place in your job where you can’t see being able to ever advance or be more creative or grow professionally?

Acuff invites us readers to take a good look at our skills to see what exactly we uniquely bring to your job. This would include skills we might have discounted or even forgotten we had.

Below are 10 bits of wisdom from Jon’s section on skills:

Relationships get you the first gig, skills get you the second.
When you hit a Career Ceiling, skills will be the hammer you use to break through.
Don’t let fear hide a skill you’ve always had or wanted to pursue. Just because you’re afraid of doing something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
Small skills have the tendency to add up to big careers.
Master the invisible skills – Go to work; add value; own your attitude.
When you have a bad attitude it flavors every part of your performance.
If you want to get better at something, it always costs time. If you don’t have any, steal some from…Facebook or any number of things that are requesting that resource without paying you anything in return.
I’m convinced that fear beats the “You don’t have enough time” drum because it never wants you to invest in your career. This is a lie.
Your willingness to discipline one part of your life creates freedom in another.
You will need skills most when you find yourself stuck. The ceilings are designed to filter out the lazy and uncommitted. Every skill can be a hammer. Start banging. Career Ceilings were meant to be broken.

Like with looking at our relationships, he calls for us to use note cards and list (one per card) all the skills we can think of – whether currently using them or only in the past; whether work-related or not so much. Once we’ve exhausted our ideas on skills then, he says to look for patterns.* It’s so easy to settle into a rut of doing the same thing every day. Going after new skills and sharpening old ones help us to be good at our jobs and, at the same time, love our work.

Whether you are a musician, a teacher, an I.T. guy or a caregiver, you have skills and you can build on those skills. Determining to be diligent to grow your skills and grateful for the opportunities to learn will take you farther than you know. Right through that career ceiling.

“You know who we should fire, that guy who keeps learning how to do his job even better,” said no one ever. – Jon Acuff

Photo Credit: Forbes.com

*A Simple Two-Step Exercise for Figuring Out What You’re Really Good At – Jon Acuff, Business Insider Start Your Do Over Today

Start Your Do Over Today! – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff: Why Most People Don’t Reach Their Full Potential And How You Can

Nathan Mills on Vine

Learning new skills on-site with Habitat for Humanity

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Do Over – Jon Acuff on Work Relationships – Notes (Part 2 of Do Over Series)

July 6, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

[Disclaimer: This long but get-you-started blog still leaves out so much of the good in Jon Acuff’s Do Over section on relationships. Hope you’re able to read this excellent book.]

Have you ever had any genuine, “I care about you” career counseling? I have, thankfully, throughout my life. It has given me the courage to push through, take risks, and trust God (and myself) with the possibilities. If you haven’t had this experience or have been too shy to avail yourself of the help of others, then Jon Acuff is a total gift. Reading his book Do Over is like sitting over coffee with someone in the industry you really respect, who actually wants to help you be successful.

This Monday morning, Acuff’s take on work relationships is my focus. If you want to really get out of the funk you’re in at work, or if you’re unemployed or underemployed, start to turn that around by taking a hard look at your relationships. Both at work and those (close or casual) who have/could have influence on your career.

Gather a stack of note cards. Or cut up some paper for an exercise. This will be better for you than whatever cardio or other exercise you have planned today. Trust me.

Jon Acuff talks about building a Career Savings Account, using the investments of skills, relationships, character, and hustle. He begins with relationships. “The problem is that you don’t know who you know when it comes to career relationships.” [p. 31, Do Over]

O.K., here we go. Think of all the people you know and have known, related to career, those with whom you’re close and those with whom you may only have a casual relationship (either in the past, online, or through a book). Write one person’s name on each card. You may want to partner up with someone to help, if you’re struggling with names. The following questions will help to bring people to mind:

Who do I know that is wise about career issues?
Who have I worked with?
Who do I know that is influential?
Who do I know that owns a business?
Who do I follow online that is in my desired career space?
What casual relationships am I forgetting that might have a career impact?

“The first principle of relationships is that you don’t know who you know. Now you do though, which means you can start doing something about it and putting those note cards to good use.” [p. 38]

Remember: Relationships get you the first gig. – Jon Acuff

Now that you have names on cards, you want to sort them into the three categories of career relationships. Acuff describes those as Foes, Friends, and Advocates.

Foe – “A foe is someone who is actively working against your dream.” You may not have put a foe’s name on a card, so go back now and think of those hard relationships. This is not about those who are just annoying or generally frustrating to everyone at work; foes are people who would personally delight to see you fail.
Friend – “A friend is someone who is aware of your Career Do Over, excited for you and willing to cheer you along the way.” Most of your career relationships will fall into this category.
Advocate – “An advocate is someone who is significantly helping you shape the course of your career.” These are the ones who could have the greatest influence on your career and Do Over. Don’t hold back on naming these people. This is not the time to be shy or operate out of some false pride that “you couldn’t possibly include these people”. [p. 41]

Now that you have three name piles, here’s what you do with them:

Foes need distance. – These will probably be the fewest number in your card pile, and yet they absorb so much of our thoughts and energy. Whether it’s a “bad boss” or a coworker who wants your position, you have to find a way to keep your focus in working well, and keep your distance emotionally. Acuff advises that any time you leave a job, leave with a finger up in the air – a thumb. Don’t burn “many bridges”, Acuff says. You never know when even foes may re-enter your life. Stay on as good terms as is possible for you.

I was fresh out of graduate school, in my first job as an oncology clinical nurse specialist. Wearing the mantle of approval by the director of nursing in this 1000-bed inner city medical center. It was my dream job. Still there was a cost. I did battle almost daily with an old school head nurse. She had to have military background, because she commanded the oncology unit with withering authority. My presence and influence threatened her kingdom. One morning, she literally backed me into a linen closet, closed the door, and with hands on hips, glared down into my wide eyes, and told me exactly what she thought of me. That was a rich career learning experience. I learned to give her distance, and never let her get that close to me again. It wasn’t from fear…well, maybe a little. I figured out how to do my job, without her support. She left the job before I did…and I will never forget her.

Friends need information. – When you decide to do a career Do Over, let your friends know. Avoid sharing too much, but give them enough information that they can actually help you with support and connections. Jon Acuff counsels at length about the role of casual relationships in this endeavor:

“Many of the relationships that did the heaviest lifting were casual at first. Casual counts, especially for our Career Savings Account. If you go through a Career Bump, when you need relationships the most, have a massive collection of casual relationships to fall back on. Whether you’re chasing a new dream or trying to climb the ladder at work, casual relationships won’t know how to help us unless we ask for help. Have you asked yet?” [p. 57]

Years into the job mentioned above, I knew I had wrung all the good out of it and was looking to do something else. Asked to make fund-raising phone calls one night for my university, I got hold of an old grad school friend. We hadn’t talked in years. It was fun to catch up and to hear how very well her career life was going (teaching then at Yale University). She also asked me the same questions. After I shared my career journey and current restlessness, she remarkably (in my mind) suggested I apply for a job teaching in her program. The job just came open, and I should jump on it. I did…and got the position at Yale. If we had not left the pleasantries of a phone call for donations, I would not have had that incredible experience (or met the man I married possibly…as a happy side-note).

Advocates need access. – As you look at your note cards, think of those who could guide you given their expertise, experience, or knowledge of you, in particular. Give them access to your life. Your willingness to give them access to you strongly correlates with their ability to help you. “Great careers take great advocates. – A good advocate must have these three character traits:

They have to be brave. – There are times in life when you need more than just a cheerleader. You need someone who is brave enough to tell you the truth.
They have to be respected. – Great people surround themselves with greater people who challenge and stretch them.
They have to be trustworthy. – You must be able to trust that the advocate wants the best for your life.” [pp. 64-65]

Besides their character, advocates have something else that can prove game-changing in a career Do Over – the cheat codes.

“Cheat Codes Make the Game A Lot Easier – Advocates and mentors know all the cheat codes. If you’ll listen, they will give them to you. Want to grow the skills portion of your Career Savings Account quickly? Ask advocates for the cheat codes!” [p. 66]

If you still aren’t sure how to draw on the expertise of advocates, Acuff helps with two questions:

1. What is one piece of advice you’d give to a writer [fill in your blank] like me?

2. What did you wish you knew about work when you were my age? If the person you are talking to is younger than you, because you’re new to a certain industry, edit the question. Instead, say, “What do you wish you knew about this industry when you were just getting started?”

In my own career, over a lot of years, I’ve experienced career ceilings, career bumps, career jumps, and career opportunities. Foes, friends, and advocates have all had huge influence on these situations. Today, I’m in another season. All my life, friends have encouraged me to write (beyond letters, newsletters, idea papers, and short articles). Now, I want to really learn how. Jon Acuff is an advocate for this career jump. Whether we meet or not, he is helping me deal with the obstacles. Then there’s a near colleague who is also a strong advocate. I listen carefully to her counsel. There are many other advocate “types” in my card pile, and I will pursue some of them in the days ahead.

What are you going to do with your Do Over – related to those card piles, i.e., relationships?

“Community Shines Brightest in the Darkness of a Career Bump – You’re not meant to go it alone. Careers are best built in the context of community. Beware the temptation to isolate or hide during your Do Over. We need other people. We need friends. We need advocates. We need relationships as a critical part of our Career Savings Account.”

“The crucible of brokenness has a funny way of leading to awesome lives.” – Jon Acuff

Start Your Do Over Today – Jon Acuff

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

To Do Good Work, You’ve Got to Have Friends – Jon Acuff – Life Reimagined

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Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

June 29, 2015 admindeb 5 Comments

Jon Acuff is a writer about stuff that matters to us – our jobs and careers. How we spend much of our waking life can make for a joyful, fulfilling journey. Or, on the flip side, it can be an excruciatingly dull and seemingly pointless work life with too little to show for it. What should give hope to any of us in that latter camp is that we can “do over” our work lives. Anyone can.

If you are the midst of a do over of your job or career, Jon Acuff is a guy who’s been there. In his book by the title Do Over, he gives great counsel about how to get started and how to persevere to the goal. He’s also funny, which helps a lot.

As hard as we work to excel on our jobs and to “make good” in our careers, we rarely have good mentoring in that. Jon is such a mentor. He’s fielded a few career ceilings, bumps, and jumps. With those, he’s also availed himself of career opportunities that we could experience as well…if we’re willing to do what’s necessary.

I’m reading Do Over right now, being in the midst of a career bump and jump myself. Then there are some younger people in my life, skilled and gifted, who are struggling also with next steps. If we attend to Jon’s wisdom on these pages, those next steps could get us where we hope to go.

In his book, Jon describes what he’s defined as a Career Savings Account (CSA). It consists of four resources that we bring to our career. They are relationships, skills, character and hustle.

Career Savings Acct . = Relationships + Skills + Character x Hustle*

“Relationships = Who you know. The gang you lock arms with during your career.

Skills = What you do. The tools you use to build your career.

Character = Who you are. The mortar that holds the entire CSA together.

Hustle = How you work. The fuel that pushes you to do the things other people don’t, so you can enjoy the results other people won’t.”*

We’ve all heard the expression, “It’s not what you know, but who you know.” This is partly true, but more true is investing all of who we are into our work – our skills, relationships, character, and hustle. What needs to happen in pursuing a career? A work we could love to do for life? It is in bringing to bear not just one, two, or three of these resources, but all four of them. This is the key, says Jon Acuff.

The book Do Over has several strong visuals, helpful for those of us who need to “see” concepts to understand them well. The chart below demonstrates the four resources we invest, and where they are most valuable depending on the career situation. Whether it was a voluntary jump to a different job or an involuntary firing or layoff, for example. Or whether the experience was negative or positive.

Acuff writes, “When you hit a ceiling it is your “skills” that will be the hammer that helps you break through. “Character” is the investment in the CSA that will most greatly impact your ability to have a successful Career Jump. [With career opportunities], “hustle” is the investment that will help you make the most of these unexpected moments. [With Career Bumps], “relationships” are critical because community is what will carry us through challenges like this.”

However, don’t forget, whatever your situation, maximizing all four resources could mean the difference in that opportunity coming your way…or to someone else.

Warning: Two Things Could Ruin Your Career Do Over – Fear and Complacency. Acuff describes these as tag-team partners in a wrestling match. When you have reasoned with yourself well enough that fear backs off, then complacency can set in on you. Either of these could sideline you in a situation that drains the life out of you but you don’t think you can do anything to change it. The truth is, you always can.

“Great lives are very rarely created in great comfort” (Jon Acuff). You may battle complacency every day and fear every night. Still, you can do what it takes to position yourself for the lifework of your dreams. We believed it as children, and we can recapture that zeal as adults, if we’re willing.

Jon Acuff has given me greater hope…and I’ve only finished page 23 of the book! If you know you need a change in your work life, get a copy of this book. If you financially or emotionally are not in a place where you can or are willing, take advantage of what I’m learning.

Build your career savings account as Jon has already encouraged. He also lists two things you can do immediately, to start turning things around at work.

“If you want to have a better job right this second, that’s possible. All you have to do is choose your attitude and adjust your expectations.”

Acuff makes the distinction of choosing your attitude rather than changing it. On the job today, you can choose to have a decent attitude. You can choose to not be smug or cynical. You can choose not to complain. You can choose to treat your coworkers, boss, and customers like they’re rock stars. Your attitude is up to you. All through the day, you choose how you act and react. You don’t necessarily go with your feelings or what you think they deserve. You determine to treat people in good faith. That choosing has huge dividends in your current work situation and building toward the next.

Secondly, Acuff says to adjust your expectations. “What are you expecting your job to do for you? Take three minutes and write down what your expectations are for work. And then, take another three minutes and write down the real ones because you probably just lied to yourself a little bit…write them down and then find the right home for them [either at work, at home, in a hobby, or other investment of your time/energy].”

So that’s what I’ve learned so far. In weeks ahead I’ll put up another set of notes or so. Jon goes into depth, through his book, in each of the investments (relationships, skills, character, and hustle). I’ve looked ahead and have my index cards already for his next assignment. Hope you learn along with me…and go for it!

Don’t give up. Our lives are so short. Be about what you were put on this Earth for…we need you, right where you’re supposed to be.

Jon Acuff

Photo Credit: ChurchLeaders.com

*Start Your DO OVER today! with Jon Acuff

How to Do a Do Over – Interview with Jon Acuff by Jeff Goins

Why Jon Acuff’s Do Over is for Everyone

Jon Acuff – The Waiter’s Pad – Unofficial Notes from the James Altucher Podcast

Why Everyone Needs a Do Over – Q & A with Jon Acuff

Never Too Late – My Musical Life Story by John Holt

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Balcony People – The Encouragers in Our Lives – You Know Who You Are – and We’re Grateful

June 25, 2015 admindeb 14 Comments

Better Together, George Washington Academy, Casablanca, Morocco

Encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

People who know me well know the struggle I have with insecurity and self-doubt. It doesn’t seem so but it’s true. I have been blessed with great encouragers in my life who have fanned the flame of vision and cheered me on when it was for me to do a hard thing. Those dear ones are what Joyce Landorf Heatherley calls “balcony people” – those encouragers who stand and cheer us on. We all have occasions to be so in each others’ lives. I love the opportunity myself, to be an encourager, having had it modeled so well for me.

I read this little (70-page) book years ago, but it still comes to mind often when people are kind enough to come alongside and encourage me to be that person for the job, or to do what’s needed whatever it is… It wasn’t because they couldn’t do it but for me to grow into a person of greater capacity. Or, just because I’m the one for the job. Imagine.

Encouragement isn’t just pat-you-on-the-back praise or superficial compliments. Jenn Arman defines it here: “Encouraging someone can mean you’re giving them support or confidence, but is also means that you’re helping to develop something in them. When the Bible talks about encouragement, it usually means that one is calling someone to their side in order to teach, comfort, strengthen or push them to act in a certain way. People who encourage others say with love what a person needs to hear, when they need to hear it–even if it isn’t what the person wants to hear.”

The greatest encourager in my long life has been Jesus. He was/is the consummate encourager. Even hours before He went to His death, He could have turned the attention of His disciples on Himself. Yet, that would not be the case. He had compassion on his disciples and taught and encouraged them even in those last hours:

[Jesus speaking] “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble and suffering; but have courage, I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

There have been great numbers of encouragers along the way in my life, and I couldn’t begin to mention them all here…you know who you are. Through the photos below, I will mention some. Thank you all. Thank God for you.My life-long friend, Paulette, who stuck by me all these years and who was brave enough to say loving hard things to me when needed. She went to be with the Lord recently, and I miss her.

Kay – my friend and colleague at a time I was a new-in-town cancer nursing specialist. Trying to win the confidence of the staff of a cancer center, I leaned on Kay for counsel and kindness. She taught me a whole new understanding of the phrase, “Get over it!”

Kathy – my student, who would years later take my place at that same cancer center. I learned more from her than she ever did from me. She makes me proud and humbles me with her enduring friendship.Jan – who was my parenting mentor. She relentlessly spoke truth into my life, and I needed it. Our children still know (and now appreciate more) the rules of the house affected by Mrs. Jan.

Linda – whose friendship I’ve enjoyed for over 20 years and who taught me how to pray bigger than ever before.

Heba – a friend and daughter from another mother who makes me laugh every single time we talk. What a gift from God she is.

Blythe – a young friend who was a true balcony person in my life and has grown into this incredible woman, wife, mother. Kim – who was teacher and friend to our son and became a dear friend to me.

Marge – also a teacher to this son of mine and my friend in a hard season. We walked the streets of Cairo together. I learned from her.

Shana – who helped me in more ways than she knows, teaching me a lot about capacity…and joy in the simplest of things.

Nezha – who was my friend in a mid-life season – with such class and generosity of heart.

Lisa – this friend who taught me about forgiveness and perseverance – who also visited us in Africa multiple times – I see God much more clearer through her experience of Him.

Karen – my friend and colleague – whose wise counsel has encouraged me in these days…and she actually reads my blogs. ‘Nuff said.

There are as many encouragers as there are days…but I will stop here…with these. My Mom, my mom-in-law, and my daughter – all have believed in me and leaned into my life. You know what a great thing this is in your own life. These people who want to come close – for their sake and for yours. Struggling with fear as I do, these women have brought an uncommon grace into life for me.

Last, and never least, there’s this guy…I can’t say enough about how his love has altered the course of my life…for the better. “He put stamps in my passport.”…and helped me be a mom. Thank you, Dave.

Whether we care to admit it or not, we all need people who believe in us. Or believe God enough to see in us what He sees and what we can’t see ourselves. How empowering that is!!!

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…Hebrews 12:1-2a

Balcony People by Joyce Landorf Heatherley

Where Are All Your Balcony People?

Basement People vs. Balcony People

Balcony People – a Study in Philemon by James MacDonald

What Does Encouragement Really Mean?

Having Courage and Being an Encourager – from the Bible study series: Marks of Maturity – Biblical Characteristics of a Christian Leader

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On the Passing of Elisabeth Elliot – Love is a Laid Down Life

June 16, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

“Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever, fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit, use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt and work out Thy will in my life at any cost now and forever.”* – Betty Howard’s prayer which her daughter Elisabeth took as her own at the age of 12

To the right of my desk is a bookcase filled with some of my favorite books. These authors inspire me to live a very different life. Among them are Charles Spurgeon, John Piper, Tom Elliff, Bertha Smith, Patricia St. John, and Elisabeth Elliot.

Elisabeth Elliot has died. Rather, she has gloriously entered into the very presence of the God whom she loved and served faithfully all her life. I am so thankful to have lived in the generation of her writing. For over a decade she has quietly lived in the shadow of Alzheimer’s, yet her writing and speaking have continued to leave their mark on generations who desire to know God as she knew Him.

I was five years old when Jim Elliot was killed along the Curaray River, in Ecuador. He left a young widow, Elisabeth Elliot, and a tiny daughter named Valerie. Elisabeth began writing to preserve Jim’s diaries and his memory for Valerie to know her dad as she grew up. Fortunately for all the rest of us, Elisabeth kept writing.

Sometime in my early teens, I first became aware of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot. She published his journals in 1958 and I still have a copy of that first printing – Shadow of the Almighty – The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot. I devoured Jim’s writing of his complete devotion for God and his passion for others to know Him. Elisabeth’s own burning love for God drew Jim’s heart to hers. Their marriage would be brief, but what Elisabeth learned of God in that time set a course for her to touch lives beyond her imagining.

Elisabeth Elliot was a no-nonsense kind of woman. She was consummately honest and frank in dealing with God and the culture of our day. These days, there seems to be little tolerance for spiritualizing or moralizing. I wonder if those who pick up her books today, in the stir of publicity at her passing, will be refreshed or shocked at her writing. She wastes no words, cutting through to what it truly is to be a follower of Christ…not of someone we made up…but the One who laid down His life for us all…that One.

Her bluntness, her disciplines, and her love of God have many times, over the years, shaken me out of dullness and loss of resolve…for which I will always be thankful.

I’ve been encouraged by all the young men and women who have commented about Elisabeth Elliot on social media since she died. To put her on some sort of pedestal would be wrong; to say her life pointed us to God and to a life only possible walking with Him, would be more accurate and right.

If you don’t know Elisabeth Elliot’s writing/speaking, begin here with the quotes below. Don’t stop with them, though. The links will help you on a journey you will never regret.

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.” Jim Elliot, missionary to Auca indians in Ecuador”
― Elisabeth Elliot, The Journals of Jim Elliot

“Faith does not eliminate questions. But faith knows where to take them.” ― Elisabeth Elliot, A Chance to Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael

“Stand true to your calling to be a man. Real women will always be relieved and grateful when men are willing to be men”
― Elisabeth Elliot, The Mark of a Man

“The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived – not always looked forward to as though the “real” living were around the next corner. It is today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow.” ― Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be a Woman

“One reason we are so harried and hurried is that we make yesterday and tomorrow our business, when all that legitimately concerns us is today. If we really have too much to do, there are some items on the agenda which God did not put there. Let us submit the list to Him and ask Him to indicate which items we must delete. There is always time to do the will of God. If we are too busy to do that, we are too busy.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Secure in the Everlasting Arms

“Think of the self that God has given as an acorn. It is a marvelous little thing, a perfect shape, perfectly designed for its purpose, perfectly functional. Think of the grand glory of an oak tree. God’s intention when He made the acorn was the oak tree. His intention for us is ‘… the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.’ Many deaths must go into our reaching that measure, many letting-goes. When you look at the oak tree, you don’t feel that the loss’ of the acorn is a very great loss. The more you perceive God’s purpose in your life, the less terrible the losses seem.” ― Elisabeth Elliot

Perhaps some future day, Lord,
Thy strong hand will lead me to the place
Where I must stand utterly alone;
Alone, Oh gracious Lover, but for Thee.

I shall be satisfied if I can see Jesus only.
I do not know Thy plan for years to come.
My spirit finds in Thee its perfect home: sufficiency.
Lord, all my desire is before Thee now.
Lead on no matter where, no matter how,
I trust in Thee. – by Elisabeth Elliot, in her college years**

“You are loved with an everlasting love. And underneath are the everlasting arms.” – Thank you, Elisabeth Elliot. You’ve made it Home.

Thank you, Lars Gren, for loving and caring for this wife of yours. What a journey you two must have had together.

*Elisabeth Elliot 1926 – [a fast read on Elisabeth’s life by Adsideo Church]

**Elisabeth Elliot – 1926-2015 – a tribute by Justin Taylor, Gospel Coalition

Peaches in Paradise – Why I Loved Elisabeth Elliot by John Piper

Goodreads.com – 164 Quotes of Elisabeth Elliot

Marriage: A Revolution & A Revelation – A Supreme Earthly Test of Discipleship (a manuscript draft by Elisabeth Elliot)

On the Subject of Forgiveness – Leaving Self Behind – Elisabeth Elliot

How to Simplify Your Life – an article by Elisabeth Elliot

30 Years Married – a Walk with God as Much as With Each Other – from the archives, on the impact of Elisabeth Elliot’s counsel on living life married

The Journals of Jim Elliot compiled by Elisabeth Elliot

End of the Spear – a biopic on the lives of Elisabeth & Jim Elliot among the Auca people of Ecuador

Photo Credits: Image of Elisabeth Elliot from elisabethelliot.org

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Monday Morning Moment – Be Kind – You Just Never Know

June 8, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: Gelene Keever

“Never judge a man before you’ve walked two moons in his moccasins.” – Sharon Creech, Walk Two Moons

My heart is especially tendered right now toward some friends going through a difficult time. They come to mind often and I’m praying my heart out for them in these days.

As I did early morning errands in anticipation of a long workday, those I passed along the way put me to thinking about the proverb above. A dear friend of mine in cancer nursing quotes it often.

There are some people’s moccasins I hope, in all honesty, to never have to wear. Some have borne their lot in life well, and others with deep bitterness and relenting anger. Even the moccasins that have the appearance of being fine and fancy must bear a cost to the owner…more than the money they paid. I prefer my own old, scuffed, marred, well-traveled moccasins. Yet, today, my heart is full, thinking of those whose roads are difficult to walk right now.

Praying hard for someone does something to us more than we anticipate. It causes us to look at others with greater compassion. We never know fully what that colleague or neighbor or beggar or family member really has on them today. An act of kindness, or a word of hope (real hope), or a decision to be deferent – might make a lighter burden for that one…next to you.

“This man beside us also has a hard fight with an unfavouring world, with strong temptations, with doubts and fears, with wounds of the past which have skinned over, but which smart when they are touched. It is a fact, however surprising. And when this occurs to us we are moved to deal kindly with him, to bid him be of good cheer, to let him understand that we are also fighting a battle; we are bound not to irritate him, nor press hardly upon him nor help his lower self.” – John Watson, The Homely Virtues by John Watson – Courtesy

You usually see quotes from God’s Word in my writing, but the proverbs of native peoples give us glimpses of the wisdom of God as well. I close with this Cherokee story, and bid you a day sweetened by a fresh look at those around you. With hearts tendered, you just never know what difference you can make…

“An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life: A fight is going on inside me, he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed. “”*

*American Indian Proverb Quotes

Walk a Mile…a Day…32 Hours in Someone Else’s Shoes by Gelene Keever

Walk Two Moons by Sharon Creech

War Room – A Film and a Strategy – Praying Our Hearts Out for Those We Love

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Bookmarked Summer: Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street

May 21, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

I love words. Not cruel, lying, arrogant, or mean-spirited ones, of course. I love the kind of words that make stories come alive, where you can see and touch and smell right off the page of the book. Oh to write that way… maybe one day.

A dear friend, who reads my writing because she loves me, shared this book with me. The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. I finally read it…just a few hours long, packed with that pink-orange hue of Mexico. Mexico transplanted in Chicago. Cisneros writes so personally of growing up straddling two cultures – living in Chicago sometimes, and Mexico other times. The book is a small novel, large with details of a family living Mexican in an American city. Sandra Cisneros opens the door to the reader to step into her Mexican American childhood, tucked in a neighborhood, so like Mexico and yet still far from home.

I read some of the reviews by readers of Cisneros’ book. They are extreme in their take on this little book – ranging from those who love her writing, identifying with her stories, and those who hate that they had to read the novel (for a class, etc.), not seeing Cisneros’ writing as worthy of their time. The criticisms surprised me, and then I understood that her writing is full of strong emotion and bore fruit of that in her readers, one way or another.

I loved the way she invited the reader, one outside of this neighborhood and culture, to be a part of its story. It was impossible to tell what was fiction and what was truly her own childhood.

Below you will find some of my favorite quotes from The House on Mango Street. I hope you enjoy her words, as I did.

“My mother’s hair…is the warm smell of bread before you bake it, is the smell when she makes room for you on her side of the bed still warm with her skin, and you sleep near her, the rain outside falling and Papa snoring.”

“Those who don’t know any better come into our neighborhood scared. They think we’re dangerous. They think we will attack them with shiny knives. They are stupid people who are lost and got here by mistake. But we aren’t afraid…All brown all around, we are safe. But watch us drive into a neighborhood of another color and our knees go shakity-shake and our car windows get rolled up tight and our eyes look straight. Yeah. That is how it goes and goes.”

“Hips…one day you wake up and they are there. Ready and waiting like a new Buick with the keys in the ignition. Ready to take you where? They’re good for holding a baby when you’re cooking…you need them to dance…if you don’t get them you may turn into a man…they bloom like roses.”

“My Papa, his thick hands and thick shoes…wakes up tired in the dark,..combs his hair with water, drinks his coffee, and is gone before we wake.”

“Everything is holding its breath inside me. Everything is waiting to explode like Christmas. I want to be all new and shiny…a boy around my neck and the wind under my skirt.”

“There were sunflowers big as flowers on Mars and thick cockscombs bleeding the deep red fringe of theater curtains. There were dizzy bees and bow-tied fruit flies turning somersaults and humming in the air. Sweet sweet peach trees…big green apples hard as knees. And everywhere the sleepy smell of rotting wood, damp earth and dusty hollyhocks thick and perfumy like the blue-blond hair of the dead.”

“A house of my own…only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem.”

“I never know what I am feeling till I write about it. Writing makes me feel better when life overwhelms me.” – Sandra Cisneros*

*Sandra Cisneros’ Letter to the Sixth-Grade Students of Ms. Jill Faison, Hogan Middle School, Vallejo, California

The House on Mango Street – 25th Anniversary Edition

Photo Credit – Picture of Sandra Cisneros – by ksm36 – Wikipedia.org