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5 Friday Faves – New Boomer Website, Creativity Burnout, Blake Mycoski’s Why (TOMS Shoes), Epiphany, and Community

January 8, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

It’s Friday again. How does that happen so rapidly every week? For those of you who can’t wait until Friday, I celebrate with you. For those of us who see life zooming by, taking account on Fridays of what we learned and what we savored seems to slow down time just a bit. Hope you enjoy my 5 favorites of this week. What were some of yours?

1) New Website for Us Boomers (well, everyone really) Photo Credit: LivingWellLivingStrong.com

Membree.com launched this week. Quoting the creators of the website, we older folks (i.e. “Baby-boomers“), as well as other generations, have 2 common desires: to serve and to share:

1. SERVE –a desire to live life to the full, by serving those around us;

2. SHARE –a desire to pass on our life experiences, wisdom and legacy to our loved ones.

“Membree answers those two major life pursuits by inspiring its members to perform random acts of kindness and by capturing life memories in both print and digital form, so these memories can be shared broadly.”Photo Credit: Membree.com

2) Creativity Burnout – In this week’s blog on BeyondtheGuitar.com, guitarist/arranger Nathan Mills tells a bit of his story about almost leaving music altogether after burning out on years of work. His re-entry seemed a bit unorthodox to me, but as I read the connection of emotion and creative work became clear. Glad that season of burnout is behind him.

3) Blake Mycoski’s Why (TOMS Shoes) – OK, so I’ve never bought a pair of TOMS shoes, and until this Harvard Business Review article I couldn’t have told you who in the world is Blake Mycoski. After reading his story and the history of his company, I’m inspired. His honesty and transparency are compelling. Take the time to read this article for the details of his journey and his rediscovering the “why” of his business. One book he mentioned was Simon Sinek’s Start With Why – How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action. That book is now on my 2016 “to-read” list. To give you a sweet teaser about Blake Mycoski’s return to his “why”, here’s a quote from the HBR article:

“People follow you, buy from you, when they believe what you believe. The more I thought about this idea, the more I realized that TOMS had veered away from its “why.” In the early days we always led with our story: We weren’t selling shoes; we were selling the promise that each purchase would directly and tangibly benefit a child who needed shoes. But our desire to sustain the company’s hypergrowth had pushed us away from that mission and into competing on the “what” and “how,” just as every other shoe company does…Our marketing increasingly felt product-focused rather than purpose-focused. And as the leader of TOMS, I was ultimately accountable for those mistakes. That was a tough pill to swallow.” – Blake Mycoski, Founder of TOMS ShoesPhoto Credit: tinyspark.org

4) Epiphany – This week’s marks the formal end of the Christmas season. Epiphany – January 6 – the day of celebration of God’s revelation of Christ, especially to the Gentiles (or all who are not Jews). It is also known as Three Kings’ Day. I love how it gives us twelve more days to celebrate such a God. The David Crowder Band refers to these 12 Days of Christmas in the intro to their song Carol of the Bells/Christmas Eve from the album Oh For Joy. [Crowder’s lounge piano intro is hilarious. Don’t miss it either.] Because of Epiphany and our sweet memories of many Christmases in Egypt (celebrated on January 7), I will finally ring out (or rock out, rather) the season with this amazing song:

5) Community – When you Google search the definition of the word community, this is what pops up:

com·mu·ni·ty

kəˈmyo͞onədē/

noun

1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.

2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.

This week, I have been reminded all over again of the great value of community. Our neighbors are such a joy to us. So extraordinary in how they take time for each other and really seem to care for each other. We are blessed to live in this tiny part of Richmond, Virginia.

Then there is this bunch of folks who make up our community group (so far). We are joined by living near to each other, our partnership in Movement Church, and our love for Jesus and each other. Just this week as an old friend became a new part of our group, we were reminded of the kindness of God in community. Encouraging each other, praying for each other, loving each other…right where we are in life. Works in progress. God’s magnificent works in progress. Seemingly ordinary, but oh, not so! Community.

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Understanding True Habit Change & Rocking Your New Year’s Resolutions

January 7, 2016 admindeb 7 Comments

Photo Credit: DavidLose.net

New Year’s resolutions are very energizing really. Whether we meet our goals or not, there is great promise within the resolution for resetting our thinking. A keen sense of self, or self-awareness, makes a difference in understanding our habits and progressing toward true habit change.

A couple of times in my life, I resolved to go off sugar. With a resolution like that, it means abstaining from chocolate…which is a topic all its own.

Anyway, I was successful for over a year each of those times in excluding sugar from my diet. Never having really lost the weight from my first pregnancy, I decided to remove sugar from my diet for the pregnancy of our second-born. In those days, there was a chapter of Overeaters Anonymous in our town, and that group was a great help in my dealing with pretty much a sugar addiction.

The second time I “gave up” sugar was over 2 years ago, and I stayed the course of that habit change for over 1 1/2 years. Less accountability but even more resolve. Now I sometimes have dessert or sugary snacks but I am still operating with more self-awareness than ever before. Self-awareness, not self-condemnation. A very different experience.

Without knowing it, I was using a practice of habit change that Ken Sande writes about on his blog, Relational Wisdom 360. He first influenced my life years ago with his work on conflict resolution through his Peacemaker Ministries. He is a gentle guide in many of the issues that complicate our lives.

His New Year article on Seven Principles of Habit Change comes at a great time. Sande talks quite kindly about how we develop habits and what it takes to change them. His first principle of habit change gives us a look at the cycle of habits – the cue, the routine (or response), and the reward. Anyone who loves chocolate can understand this easily. For me, in eating sugar (or in overeating, in general), the cue could be a number of things – fatigue, anxiety, loneliness, presence of yummy food. It never takes much to send me to the refrigerator or pantry. The routine: feed the cue, whatever it is…with high-carb oral gratification. The reward: a brief soul satisfaction and temporary relief from whatever was the cue.

Photo Credit: Relational Wisdom 360

In my two seasons of not eating added sugar, I actually followed Ken Sande’s principles below (without knowing the wisdom of it).

Every habit has three parts: a cue, a routine, and a reward.
You can change an undesirable habit by keeping the cue and reward but learning a new routine.
The best way to overcome the temptation to revert to old routines is to have a detailed action plan.
Habit change builds momentum if you can change a single “keystone habit” and then continue to build on consecutive “small wins”.
Will power is like a muscle: it can be strengthened and yet needs to be exerted strategically.
Faith is an essential part of changing habits.
Habit change is more likely to occur within a community (even if it’s just two people). – Ken Sande

[If any readers want to talk further about habit change regarding sugar addiction, I would love the exchange, either through the comments or email.]

Self-awareness is a huge factor relating to habit change. I can see that more now having come through seasons of looking at my own habits.

“Self-awareness is defined as conscious knowledge of oneself; it’s a stepping stone to reinventing oneself, learning to make wiser decisions, and helps you tune into your thoughts and feelings. So often we place blame on externalities because it’s the easiest excuse, when in fact we should be thinking about our thinking, reflecting, trying on different perspectives, and learning from our mistakes.” – Paul Jun

Matt Monge wrote a great piece on 13 questions we might ask ourselves to better understand why we do what we do. He is applying these questions to leadership and workplace, but they apply as well to habits. Also, in researching for this blog, I came upon this YouTube video of David Wallace Foster giving a commencement speech on awareness. Really thought-provoking as well as entertaining.

It is possible to affect true habit change if we are willing to take a studied look at ourselves – our awareness and our engagement with making choices/decisions and within relationship. I used to think that self-awareness was morally charged, i.e., it drove us to becoming more self-centered. That doesn’t have to be the case. When we take time to really examine where our minds go, through the day, we can train our thinking toward what matters most to us – related to people, resources, and life purpose.

When we are willing to do that, New Year’s resolutions can become much more life-changing than just going off sugar for a few weeks. These same habit change principles can apply to anger issues, pornography, other addictions, and pretty much any habitual process that negatively affects your work, relationships or general peace of mind.

I’d like to close with Ken Sande’s thoughts on taking self-awareness to other-awareness and God-awareness:

“The better we know and follow God (God-aware, God-engaging), the more we will know and discipline ourselves (self-aware, self-engaging), which opens the way for us to better understand, relate to, and serve our neighbors (other-aware, other-engaging).

To close the loop and spur us on developing relational wisdom, the Lord promises that the more we obey his command to love our neighbors, the closer we will draw to God himself (John 14:21-23). Thus, relational wisdom is a circle of interrelated skills that continually fuel one another.” – Ken Sande

Photo Credit: RelationalWisdom360

Do You Want to Change Your Habits? – Relational Wisdom – Ken Sande

Seven Principles of Habit Change – Relational Wisdom – Ken Sande

13 Questions to Increase Your Self-Awareness – The Mojo Company – Matt Monge

Why Self-Awareness Is the Secret Weapon for Habit Change – Paul Jun

This is Water – David Foster Wallace on Awareness

RW Acrostics in Action – Relational Wisdom – Ken Sande

Need Help With Your New Year’s Resolutions? – David Lose

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Worship Wednesday – How Firm a Foundation – Illustrated

January 6, 2016 admindeb 3 Comments

Photo Credit: BlueLetterBible.org

Many years ago, I spent the summer doing construction on the island of Mindanao in the Philippines. A group of older American teens and five adults comprised a team who would build a structure over the course of that summer. The building would house a church (and the pastor family would live in the loft). Only one of us had any construction experience but we all had received a couple of weeks training prior to leaving the States.

It was a marvel that we had such confidence (faith, really) to do such a thing.

After flying halfway around the world to Manila, we boarded a ship for an overnight journey south to Mindanao. On our arrival, we were greeted at port by a small group of very enthusiastic Filipinos. They carried us, by bus, straight to the construction site for a look-see.

We must have been the sight.

Eagerly tumbling out of the bus, we were struck speechless at building lot where we would erect a church. It was obvious where we were to build because it was the only open space surrounded by several houses on stilts. It was also obvious why no homes had been built there before.

Covering most of the building site was a tidal pool, and it must have been high tide. We blinked and stared at the deep salt-water pool, complete with small fish popping the surface of the water.

How could we build in such a place?

Photo Credit: NourishtheDream.com

Amazingly, we found that we could build there. A lot of engineering, which I don’t remember now, went into making the site dry (somehow rerouting the tidal water, pumping out the standing water, and filling in the area with dirt and rock).

Our project leader told us our most important job was to build a strong foundation. In this rural area, with more hands than construction companies available to us, we worked shoulder to shoulder with our new Filipino friends. Steel reinforcing bars were tied, and cement was mixed for days as we began pouring concrete footers. We poured a thick foundation and built up with cinder blocks.

I wish I had easily retrievable pictures from those hot summer days in Mindanao. The building went up and finally the sharply pitched roof was laid on.

On our last full day there, we celebrated our work together with those dear friends in that community. They would finish the last details of the building without us as we flew back to the US the next day.

I will never forget that first day, and the laying of the foundation, in particular. Such hard work…not to be short-changed. A year later, a violent typhoon hit that village, and we were sure the church must have been destroyed.

It stood through the storm.

How thankful I am for the sure foundation we have in God’s Word and His work in us through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ!

A great old hymn, How Firm a Foundation, speaks powerfully about this strong support we have through the storms of our lives. Published in 1787, many have written hymn stories about it, but I refer you to the one written by Tim Challies. He also introduces the arrangement done of the hymn by the trio Ordinary Time.

Worship with me:

How firm a foundation, you Saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent word!
What more can He say than to you He has said,
To you, who, for shelter, to Jesus has fled?

(In every condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.)

Fear not, I am with you; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am your God and will still give you aid.
I’ll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand,
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call you to go,
The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow,
For I will be with you, your troubles to bless,
And sanctify to you your deepest distress.

When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be your supply.
The flame shall not hurt you; I only design
Your dross to consume and your gold to refine.

(E’en down to old age, all my people shall prove
My sovreign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And then, when gray hair shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs shall they still in my bosom be borne.)

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose
I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.*

I love the imagery of this great old hymn, and thinking about how saints of God for more than 200 years have worshipped Him through these lyrics. Artist Laura Kranz applied her own powerful imagery to this hymn. One image is featured below; the rest you can find at the Overview Bible Project.Photo Credit: Laura A. Kranz

Have a worshipful Wednesday. I pray you stand on such a foundation as God offers us. When we stood, that first day, on the building site…staring at a seemingly impossible task, a group of the church youth, sang a song of dedication. It was My Hope Is Built On Nothing Less. The chorus was perfect for that day: – “On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.”

It was beautifully ironic as our eyes were riveted to the sight of that tidal pool – at the same time, listening to these precious young people sing about faith, not sight. How firm a foundation we have in Christ!

*How Firm a Foundation – Lyrics and Illustrations by Laura Kranz

Hymn Stories: How Firm a Foundation (+ Free Download) – Tim Challies

YouTube Video – Ordinary Time – How Firm a Foundation

Ordinary Music Website

YouTube Video – Sink My Feet by Jillian Edwards

Carpentry and Building Construction – a Do-It-Yourself Guide

Photo Credit: Biblevisuals.org

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Monday Morning Moment – Mission Drift – 12 Quotes on Being True to Our Mission

January 4, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Peter K. Greer, President & CEO of Hope International

[From the Archives]

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men. You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” – Matthew 5:13-14, 16

Peter Greer and Chris Horst (with Anna Haggard) wrote an incredible little book entitled Mission Drift. The book’s byline is “The Unspoken Crisis Facing Leaders, Charities, and Churches”. I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone who has invested their lives in a faith-based organization, or Christ-centered business, or Christian charity. In fact, if you haven’t already read it, and you’re a Christ-follower, please make it a priority.

Mission drift is the slow and insidious shift away from the original mission, purpose, and identity of an organization. Greer and Horst have done extensive research on organizations who have either remained “mission true” or have fallen sadly away from their mission. The stories are fascinating and compelling. They lay a foundation that can help all of us prevent mission drift in our own lives and in our spheres of influence.

12 quotes from the book follow. These are just to whet your appetite. Mission Drift is an easy read and the truths resonate with our desire to be faithful and true stewards.

“Mission Drift…is pervasive and affects faith-based organizations of all varieties – nonprofits, churches, denominations, businesses, foundations, and schools. ..be optimistic…that drift is not inevitable.” (pp. 19, 22)

“Mission True organizations know why they exist and protect their core at all costs. They remain faithful to what they believe God has entrusted them to do. They define what is immutable: their values and purposes, their DNA, their heart and soul…To remain Mission True is to adapt and grow, so long as that adaptation and growth does not alter the core identity.” (p. 27)

“Mission True organizations know who they are and actively safeguard, reinforce, and celebrate their DNA. Leaders constantly push toward higher levels of clarity about their mission and even more intentionality about protecting it.” (p. 51)

“Leaders often first ask what, then move to how, and finally transition to why. ..Great innovators…start with why. The ordering really matters. Everything flows from why. Not only does it motivate others to join you, it also guides what you do – and often more important – what you don’t do.” (pp. 71-72)

“The gravitational pull of secularism is felt perhaps most acutely in hiring…Mission True leaders hire carefully, intentionally, and prayerfully. They approach each hiring decision seriously, recognizing that each staff member represents the mission of the organization. ” (pp. 103, 107)

“Mission True organizations recruit and engage Mission True donors.” (p. 115)

“You are what you measure…Our highest goal is to remain faithful to our Christ-centered identity and mission. Because of our identity, we must pursue excellence. Metrics can be self-serving. We need to be clear why we pursue them. Seeing God for who He is clarifies our role: We are stewards. Metrics help us to remain accountable for the work that God has placed in our hands.” (pp. 131, 133, 136)

“Slapping an ichthus (the Christian fish symbol of the early church) on product packaging does not mean it honors God. Christian shoddy is still shoddy. In Mission True organizations, quality must be nonnegotiable.” (p. 139)

“‘Culture eats strategy for breakfast.’ Mission True organizations get this. They focus on the little things. They understand how important practices and norms are to the living and breathing cultures of their organizations. The small decision each and every day may seem inconsequential, perhaps even trivial, but these little things protect against Mission Drift…Beyond policies, Mission True organizations recognize that culture is composed of all the ‘little things’.” (pp. 148-149, 155)

“Clear language reinforces identity and also leads to accountability. Being clear with your plans and identity enables people to keep you on mission. If you regularly talk about who you are, you invite scrutiny and accountability. Publicly proclaiming who you are strengthens your identity and empowers people to point out inconsistencies.” (p. 163)

“Also I say to you, whoever confesses Me before men, him the Son of Man also will confess before the angels of God. ⁹But he who denies Me before men will be denied before the angels of God.” – Luke 12:8-9

“For organizations who desire to protect against Mission Drift, one of the most powerful anchors is the local church…Wisdom lies in anchoring ourselves to the church as the church is anchored to Christ. Across time and culture and trends, the church remains.” (pp. 167, 173)

“Courageous Mission True leaders…have stood unwaveringly upon the Truth of the Gospel. In all areas, they have demonstrated intentionality and clarity in retaining Christian distinctiveness. They are committed to Christ, first and foremost.” (pp. 180-181)

********************************************************************

One organization very dear to me keeps its mission before its personnel and donors in regular, consistent, creative and winsome ways. We know what we are about. There is never a doubt what we’re to be about. What safeguards does that beloved faith-based organization of yours have in place to hold back mission drift?

Peter K. Greer Blog

Chris Horst Blog

The Subtle Danger of Mission Drift

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5 Friday Faves Plus a Bonus – New Year, Fruit in Season, Shepherding People, Decluttering & Thrift Shops, Self-awareness, and a Playlist

January 1, 2016 admindeb 6 Comments

Happy New Year! Thanks for stopping by. It means a lot. Here are 5 plus 1 faves of this week. Hope you find them helpful and/or refreshing for your first day of 2016.

1) New Year Storms – Leslie Leyland Fields wrote a fascinating piece for us as we face the New Year. She reflects on the Apostle Peter’s experience of a stormy sea and applies that to our personal storms. The One who calms storms is the same today as then. We all hope for a fair weather year, but staying storm-ready is wisdom.Photo Credit: NaturePhotoBlog.com – Theo Bosboom

Our son Daniel in Scotland

2) Fruit in Season – When we first moved to Egypt, I was happily surprised at the long growing season of this desert nation. With irrigation from the Nile River, and the hot sunny days, we had yummy fruit for many months. Fruit that, in the US, we would have too briefly. Large luscious strawberries in December were a special treat in Egypt.Photo Credit: Fresh Plaza

Mandarin season in Morocco is also very special. Ripe from the tree. Sweet and perfectly juicy. It’s mandarin season now. Happy New Year!Photo Credit: Sarah Storm

3) Shepherding People – Think of those for whom you steward leadership. Shepherding does not just apply to pastors and churches, but to parents and children, and to those in our charge in the workplace. Abraham Kuyper writes of our example of the shepherds watching their sheep on the night of Jesus’ birthday. “If the shepherds in Ephrata’s fields had not been faithfully involved in keeping watch over their flock, they would have seen nothing of that night’s brilliance, witnessed nothing of the Lord’s glory shining around them, heard no angel song, and would never have paid homage to God’s Holy Child. Doesn’t the same apply to you? The heavens still sometimes open.” It is often in the ordinary faithfulnesses of the day that we see the most extraordinary…if we keep watch.Photo Credit: BPNews.net

4) Decluttering & Favorite Thrift Shops – If December doesn’t drive us to look at our household clutter, January sure will. I struggle with this. Holding on to beloved books and sentimental bits of this or that. Or those precious piles of “things I may need later”. The article 200 Things to Throw Away Today was very helpful for me this week. She gives a tremendous array of things I can work with, and there is no judging. Whew! You also don’t have to “throw away” all these items because there are various avenues through which you can recycle, repurpose, or reuse (including local agencies that help house the homeless, for instance). Two of my favorite small business thrift shops in our neighborhood are 2BInspired and Nomadic Attic.

Photo Credit: 2BInspired

Photo Credit: Nomadic Attic

Decluttering: 300+ Things to Throw Away Today – City Waste Services

5) Self-Awareness – Matt Monge of The Mojo Company published a great pre-New Year article on 13 Questions to Increase Your Self-Awareness. Our default with people is to scrutinize those around us as to how they are doing life, work, relationships. Self-awareness seemed a negative thing because anything with “self” in front of the word must not be good. Right? Wrong! The questions Matt presents are so insightful. Two of my favorites were: Did I demonstrate vulnerability today? If not, why not? What is the root cause of my reluctance to do so? and Was my leadership today reflective of someone who views his role as one of a steward rather than one who views the team and organization as something to be used for my benefit?

I want to go into 2016 having done my homework such that, at least, I have looked at my own heart, thinking, and motivations…first! Don’t miss this gem of a piece before heading back to work on Monday.Photo Credit: The Mojo Company

6) A Playlist – What a delight when someone else does the work of putting together a playlist. I still have some audiocassettes, from our days in Egypt, that local friends put together with our pop music favorites of that time. Mary Carver (co-author with Sarah Frankl of the new book Choose Joy) put together a playlist to take us into the New Year. Every one will make you smile, dance around, or just have a mind break to reset toward job. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: GivingUpOnPerfect.com

The video below is a bonus bonus. It’s been viewed a lot, but I only saw it yesterday. It reminded me of a book I read years ago by television producer Bob Briner. In Roaring Lambs, he challenged us to use whatever profession we are in to be “culture-altering” for good. These hair stylists are sure an example of that. Lovely.

Would love you to share one of your week’s favorites. Please use the comments section. Have an amazing start to your New Year! Step by step.

Blog – Deb Mills

Monthly Archives: January 2016

Understanding True Habit Change & Rocking Your New Year’s Resolutions

Worship Wednesday – How Firm a Foundation – Illustrated

Monday Morning Moment – Mission Drift – 12 Quotes on Being True to Our Mission

5 Friday Faves Plus a Bonus – New Year, Fruit in Season, Shepherding People, Decluttering & Thrift Shops, Self-awareness, and a Playlist