Tag Archives: Bekkah Mills

5 (No 4) Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar, Parenting Hacks, Unmasking Evil, and the First Signs of Spring

Friday Faves – let’s get after it!

1) Beyond the Guitar – Pretty much every week, you’ll find something in my Faves that showcases the music of Nathan Mills, or Beyond the Guitar. His most recent classical guitar arrangement of a beloved song is John Denver‘s Take Me Home, Country Roads. So lovely!

Besides his own beautiful arrangements, Nathan is also posting guitar arranging content at Beyond the Guitar. Folks can enjoy arranging favorite songs like he does. Let the music abound!

You know I’m proud of this guy’s music but also the work he is putting in on top of that to teach others how to do what he does. His 4 Tips to Accomplish Your Guitar Goals is 12 minutes of great counsel for any of us (whether we play guitar or not). Check it out! Subscribe – enjoy the freebies and sign up for some serious helps from this guy.

2) Parenting Hacks – Parenting didn’t come naturally to me…however I had great help. Having a wise and loving mom and mother-in-law, strong mentors as friends, lots of good reading, and praying often – got us through those early years. Below I’ve listed some helpful hacks on various aspects of parenting found just this week.

Boundaries, Routines, and Early Bedtimes – 13 Habits That Raise Well-Adjusted Kids – Lauren Tamm

Create a Morning Checklist for Your Older Kid, Then Get Out of Their Way Meghan Moravcik Walbert

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook, Decluttering School

We Cannot Continue to Overlook ‘High-Functioning’ Depression – Amanda Leventhal

Little Z’s Sleep – Becca Campbell (Sleep Consultant)

3) Unmasking Evil – We are stuck in the muck and mire of societal outrage…in this case, either pro-life or pro-abortion/choice.

Words mean things, but we allow the politically correct vocabulary of others deceive and silence us. This week, on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, New York state’s governor, Andrew Cuomo, signed into law the Reproductive Health Act. Our social media platforms are full of chatter on this issue this week with deep lines of divide.

When you hear the phrase reproductive health act, you would think it related to a government’s recommendations and support of women’s health – contraceptive availability, access to medical care, early prenatal care, prevention and/or early treatment of sexually transmitted diseases, etc. etc. etc.

Nope…it is all about abortion. The biggest point of which being that women can abort right up to the point of live birth of the baby…should the mother’s health be at risk. Photo Credit: PicServer

Which seems more reasonable, an emergency c-section or the lengthy process of cervical dilation to remove the baby (already made dead at that point)?…and then treat the woman. I’m not a doctor, but… I am a woman…and was once the fetus of a woman who, given her very difficult life situation, might have chosen abortion if it was as easy as made possible by this Reproductive Health Act.

She didn’t thankfully.

In a piece by Jessica Mouser, Governor Cuomo was quoted in his praise of the bill: “With the signing of this bill, we are sending a clear message that whatever happens in Washington, women in New York will always have the fundamental right to control their own body.”

In my teen years, our parents had very strong counsel about how to control my body when it came to preventing sexual intercourse and pregnancy. Both me and my brothers.

I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh…or naive. I don’t just care about the baby, but also the woman carrying the baby and the man who participated in its conception. We often hear and read from those who are condescendingly pro-choice that we “pro-lifers” aren’t really pro-life unless we show we care for all who are challenged by life (poor, disabled, elderly…and the women who conceived).

This logic trick is an attempt to silence us…as if we aren’t allowed to protest the killing of babies unless we simultaneously protest the wrongs perpetrated on all vulnerable or marginalized people.

Relentlessly Call Abortion What It Really Is – Jon Bloom

“New York has an abortion rate of 23.1 per 1,000 women, twice the national average of 11.8 per 1,000 women. 25 to 27 percent of pregnancies in New York State end in abortion. In New York City, 78 percent of abortions are on African American babies. More black babies being killed through abortion than being born in the city. Cuomo’s new abortion law will likely increase those numbers.” – Live Action

Photo Credit: Pxhere

[I welcome dialog on this complex topic. Women close to me have had abortions…and regretted them. One friend, in particular, would only conceive once in her life and was persuaded by her boyfriend to abort that child. The pain of that loss has never left her. Abortion is an assault not just on the child but on the woman. Every fiber in my once-feminist worldview has been re-awakened, with the evil of abortion unmasked as the attack on women it clearly is.]

Photo Credit: Facebook

What You Need to Know About New York’s New Late-Term Abortion Act – Jessica Mouser

Petition: Outrage: Gov. Cuomo Celebrates Abortion-Til-Birth By Lighting the World Trade Center Pink

Governor of New York Nixes Almost All Protections for Pre-Born Babies

Abortion Expansion in New York – Emily Belz – [read: codifying Roe v. Wade]

I’ll stop here…words mean things. Now more than ever in recent years, we must examine change in our culture, with critical thinking… and not allow ourselves to be swept blindly along by partisan and biased speak. God forbid, when the masks come off, we are caught unaware…and somehow complicit because we did not speak or act.

Photo Credit: Global Digital Citizen Foundation

Doctors Induce 25 Percent of Dutch Deaths – Wesley J. Smith

…I’ll stop at 4 this week.

4) The First Signs of Spring – This week the daytime temperatures have bounced from the teens to the 60s. Although winter will be with us another 3 months, we already see the signs of the coming Spring. Any signs of Spring where you are? Please comment below.

I hope your weekend is refreshing. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Bonuses:

News Reporter Mark Holmberg on Retiring:

“I retired as early as possible to escape.
To escape the once-honored institution of journalism that has become a caricature of itself, rife with agenda-based reporting and alternate facts as national news outlets pander to their readers’ and viewers’ (and their reporters’) political and social issue views, which are now held with religious-like fervor.
And to escape the intolerance and hatred from the masses fired at anyone they disagree with.
Increasingly rare are the souls willing to listen and consider other opinions; to realize someone may be wrong but not be a despicable person; to appreciate good things being done by people with opposing agendas.
I remember well how horrible the anti-Obama crew was during his eight years.
But they were rank amateurs compared with the viciousness, intolerance and conclusion bungee-jumping of the never-Trumpers.
In my escape I have largely stepped back from social media in general and political comments in particular to avoid the bitterness, but I would like to say this to those who have lost their minds:
Stop allowing yourself to be pushed off the Emotional Cliff of Outrage over things that may not even be accurate, fair or in perspective. Enjoy your day and the people in it.
Stop hating and seething. Look around. We’re not marching into the Fourth Reich. The tides will continue to turn.
And please, check your chest and find your heart again.”Mark Holmberg

Instant Pot Elderberry Syrup – Family. Life. Organized – Bekkah Mills

6 Surprises Every Premarital Counselor Should Cover – Dave Harvey

Photo Credit: Sharon Wink, Facebook

The People You Have in Your Corner Matter – Lolly Daskal

No Sweethearts This Valentine’s Day as Candy Company Closes – Micah Walker

Photo Credit: Delish

The Food That Helps Battle Depression – Elizabeth Bernstein

5 Friday Faves – Right Bus/Wrong Seat, Live Streaming, Words, Mommy Blogs, and the Inevitabilities of Life

Today’s Friday Faves blog comes to you on Saturday. It’s been that kind of week, full to busting. Along with it were fun times with friends, poignant occasions to serve people in crisis, beautiful sunrises and sunsets (plus a Blue Moon), and a few moments of quiet calm to process it all. I hope your week was memorable.

Writing helps me remember (even if it’s a few lines in a journal or on an old-school calendar)…maybe your memory is better. Here are five of my favorite discoveries for the week. Please share yours in Comments below.

1) Right Bus/Wrong Seat – Writer, seminarian Chuck Lawless posted recently on dealing with employees who appear to be on the right bus, but in the wrong seats. He wrote about church culture but

10 Ways to Deal with People on the Right Bus, but in the Wrong Seat

his counsel reminded me of work situations as described by business leader and writer Jim Collins. – in his book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t. Collins focuses on the importance of having the right people “on the bus”. Then he pushes deeper in employers or leaders getting those right people into the right seats. We can find ourselves wondering at times if we’re in the right company when really the question could be that we may not be in the right job within that company. Collins’ approach puts people over product, but he knows the better product will come out of better-positioned people. Right bus/right seat.

Have 100% of the key seats on the bus filled with the right people. This doesn’t mean 100% of ALL seats have the right people, but 100% of the key seats. If you think there might be a “wrong who,” first give the person the benefit of the doubt that perhaps he or she is in the wrong seat. Whenever possible, give a person the chance to prove himself or herself in a different seat, before drawing the conclusion that he or she is a wrong person on the bus.

Spend a significant portion of time on people decisions: get the right people on the bus, get the right people in the right seats, get the wrong people off the bus, develop people into bigger seats, plan for succession, etc. Develop a disciplined, systematic process for getting the right people on the bus. With each passing year, ensure the percentage of people decisions that turn out good versus bad continues to rise. Wendy Maynard, Jim Collins

Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’tJim Collins

2) Live Streaming – I am really not fond of paying the high ticket prices required these days for celebrity entertainment. What intrigues me more are the younger (or newer) artists pushing into the public’s eye through live streaming. In 2015, KrueTV was launched, and it has made a huge impact on where I go for music. A live streaming app. Where I get to watch, listen to, and chat with artists who are just beginning to hone their craft. Rough sometimes, but so fresh and very much “in the moment. Beyond the Guitar streamed on Krue from early on. Photo Credit: Screenshot, KrueTV

A community of followers was born there, many of whom support him on Patreon. KrueTV also made it possible for me to meet and enjoy the music of other artists – a young country-western singer from Ohio, an Indie artist from Canada, a sibling band with killer harmonies, a Portuguese singer who brings us all-things-Eurovision. And many others.

The bad news came this week that Krue’s creators are going a different direction. Another app will eventually come, but Krue will be shut down soon. It made all of us sad, all of us who enjoy the streams there.

Beyond the Guitar’s Last Great Stream on KrueTV

Turning that sad into action, the artists continue to stream on Krue for now and commiserate with each other and their fans. Also sorting out what live streaming app to jump on next.

I was surprised to find out that there are several now. GigFM. StreetJelly. Twitch.TV. One of these apps will become my next favorite, depending on where these favorite artists land. Because it’s not just their performances, it’s also the community around them. Never would I have thought, in all my life, that this would become important to me. Online communities. Gamers understand this, but it’s new to me.

Beyond the Guitar’s Latest Arrangement – The Hunger Games: Hanging Tree

3) Words – Any of you who continue to stick with me on this blog know I love words. If you walked into our home, you would see them everywhere. Bookcases in every room. Words on the walls.

Books by my bed and beside my computer. Notes on top of my keyboard. Words that can remind, instruct, encourage.

In my resolve to read more, this year of 2018, I’m currently in the middles of a strange and fascinating book. It is The Elements of Eloquence: Secrets of the Perfect Turn of Phrase by Mark Forsyth. It’s a book about the English language and what makes us love and remember certain phrases by how they are written. I will probably write about this book later, but here are some words that have caused me to think…this week.

The Elements of Eloquence: Secrets of the Perfect Turn of PhraseMark Forsyth

Mark Forsyth Blog

Young at Heart (Slightly Older in Other Places) – Day Brightener

4) Mommy Blogs – The blogs I subscribe to are usually about leadership, the Bible, or living cross-culturally. However, lately, “mommy blogs” have come to my attention, thanks to the young women in my life who read and write them. This week, I discovered Liz B. who writes Life in a Coffee Spoon. A mom of two who also works outside the home, she posted this week on the challenges of life that literally drive her to write in order to process it all. Photo Credit: Pixabay

Her writing is like that coffee – real, strong, and just right for when you need it.

Life in a Coffee Spoon – On Mommy Blogging in 2018

Family. Life. Organized – Bekkah Mills

17 Things You Should Do to Every Blog Post Before + After You Hit Publish (Free Checklist) – Melyssa Griffin – for any of you, Dear Ones, thinking of blogging.

5) The Inevitabilities of Life – This has been one of those weeks when life has been full of the inevitable – sickness, hard news, death. There are also the inevitabilities, thankfully, of new babies, good news, and happy anniversaries. This has not been a week of those.

[There was a time just a bit ago that I didn’t take any meds. Then…it happened. The inevitable, I presume.]

Still in the middle of all the hard, I’m struck by the great gift of community, the strength of true friendship and family, the power of prayer. The presence in our lives of a loving God and those we can lean on – good neighbors, first responders, trusted colleagues, and those sainted strangers – all, in their time, are there for us, as we are for them. The leaning in and showing up – in the inevitabilities of life. It’s really quite beautiful…and takes so much of the sting away.

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation [trouble; suffering], but take courage; I have overcome the world.”  – Jesus – John 16:33

So there are my 5’s this week. What are some of yours? Have a safe and splendid weekend, hopefully with those you love or in your own good company.

Bonuses

Photo Credit: Rick Fischler, Facebook

In Which I Am Learning to Live with the Ache – Sarah Bessey

Quote: I am an historian, I am not a believer, but I must confess as a historian that this penniless preacher from Nazareth is irrevocably the very center of history. Jesus Christ is easily the most dominant figure in all history. – H.G. Wells

[I finally saw the Denzel Washington film Fences adapted from August Wilson‘s play….whew.]

“I think my plays offer (white Americans) a different way to look at black Americans,” he told The Paris Review. “For instance, in Fences they see a garbageman, a person they don’t really look at, although they see a garbageman every day. By looking at Troy’s life, white people find out that the content of this black garbageman’s life is affected by the same things – love, honor, beauty, betrayal, duty. Recognizing that these things are as much part of his life as theirs can affect how they think about and deal with black people in their lives.” – August Wilson

TED Talk – Susan David: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage

Prescriptions Without Pills – For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety, and More – Susan Heitler

Photo Credit: Amazon, Susan Heitler

5 Friday Faves – Concerning Hobbits, Flag at Half Staff, Relational Shock Absorbers, Leader Smarts, and Making Family Happen

Friday! Tonight, in the Richmond area,  we have our first hard freeze this Fall. That means Dave finishes picking our peppers from the garden. He hopes the greens will survive. It’s a beautiful day – sunny and breezy – with showers of brightly colored leaves covering the grass. Both stained glass windows and patchwork quilts come to mind in this feast for the eyes. Hope your Friday is as lovely. Here are my faves for the week. Enjoy.

1) Concerning Hobbits – The Lord of the Rings film trilogy was a very big deal in our growing-up family. When these films came out, we wanted our kids (then middle-school and high school aged) to read the books first. The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings novels by J. R. R. Tolkien. Surprisingly, our kids did, along with their dad re-reading these classics. They were captivated by the stories and the courage and endurance of the characters. The Hobbits were especially endearing as they were tiny folk, carried along by a grand mission. Much beyond their physical abilities but not beyond their great hearts.

This past week, Nathan Mills, at Beyond the Guitar, arranged the film theme Concerning Hobbits. Composed by Howard Shore, this melody captures the sweetness and hominess of the Hobbits. There is a rise to crescendo in Mills’ arrangement that also speaks to the willingness of the wee Hobbits to rise to battle when necessary.

I’m reminded of the Hobbit Samwise Gamgee’s role in the novel and film. Two quotes follow – one about him by the author and one by him:

“One tiny Hobbit against all the evil the world could muster. A sane being would have given up, but Samwise burned with a magnificent madness, a glowing obsession to surmount every obstacle, to find Frodo, destroy the Ring, and cleanse Middle Earth of its festering malignancy. He knew he would try again. Fail, perhaps. And try once more. A thousand, thousand times if need be, but he would not give up the quest.”J. R. R. Tolkien

“There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.”SamwisePhoto Credit: Pinterest

[Beyond the Guitar is presently posting a video/week. Concerning Hobbits came out last Friday, and today, he published DESTINY 2: Journey – Classical Guitar Cover – check it out!!]

2) Flag at Half Staff – It seems our country’s flag is at half staff too frequently these days. This month we remember our military on Veterans Day and many businesses and private homes will display the American flag in honor of these men and women who served our country.

When a flag is flown at half staff it usually relates to the death of someone significant to all Americans.Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

This week, again, our flag is at half staff. This time, in our state, it flies in mourning for those victims of the Sutherland Springs church shooting.

This tragedy has reminded us again of the brevity of life, the great value of life and community, and how important it is to reach out always to our neighbors. We grieve with our neighbors in Texas.

Yesterday our flags were at half staff for them:

Governor’s Flag Order for the Commonwealth of Virginia

Pursuant to President Trump’s Presidential Proclamation to lower the United States flag, I do hereby order that the flags of the United States of America and the Commonwealth of Virginia are to be flown at half-staff over the state Capitol and all local, state, and federal buildings and grounds to honor the victims of the attack in Sutherland Springs, Texas, on November 5, 2017.

I hereby order that the flags shall be lowered until sunset, November 9, 2017.  

Ordered on this, the 6th day of November, 2017. 

Sincerely,

Terence R. McAuliffe

3) Relational Shock Absorbers – I’d like us to consider for a moment the great gift of relational shock absorbers. Those people in our lives who are safe. Those people who sometimes take the brunt of our outbursts or brooding, without returning evil for evil and without inserting their own drama into what we’ve created. I am NOT talking about people who “just take” our bad behavior out of fear or insecurity or their own struggle. That’s codependence and doesn’t help heal either party.

What I am talking about is those in our lives who are rock-solid in their care for us, who recognize that we are not our best selves at that moment, and who refuse to think ill of us. They don’t make whatever issue is going on…about them. Relational shock absorbers are those in our lives who give space and grace, who hug instead of withhold, who listen for the truth behind the tantrum, and who love us forever. No trade-ins. Ever. Our mom was one of those in our lives…I have a long list of others. Give a shout-out to some of yours in the Comments. Photo Credit: Vimeo

Family Systems, Emotions, and Behaviors – Teach Through Love – Lori Petro

4) Leader Smarts – It is so easy for us to become better at our work if we want it badly enough. Pursuing higher education in leadership or business administration is definitely one way. Or searching out leadership mentors online is another way accessible to all of us. Marcel Schwantes is one of my go-to guys, especially related to servant leadership. In a recent piece for Inc., he makes a case for why employees quit, and what leaders can do to keep them.
Photo Credit: USDA
Schwantes makes a bold claim that the “smoking gun” of why too often employees leave their jobs – Employees are simply not valued as human beings.
He lists out 5 ways leaders (and all the rest of us) can demonstrate that we value employees (fellow volunteers, family members, fill-in-the-blank):
  • Invest in employees’ growth and development.
  • Create an environment of psychological safety.
  • Display the leadership strength of humility.
  • Share information.
  • Give them decision-making discretion.

Read more of Schwante’s insightful commentary here.

Want Your Boss to Be a Better Leader? Persuade Them to Try Any of These Top 5 Habits of Smart Leaders – Marcel Schwantes

5) Making Family Happen – Everybody’s busy. I get that. So how do we make family happen without it being an undue burden on our loved ones, either our children or theirs?
I’m trying to figure this out and would love any wisdom from you willing to share (please comment below). Just this past week, we experienced a generous dose of “making family happen”.
Dave and I traveled to Georgia for a family visit, and it was a sweet touch-point with many we loved there. Like our trips to visit our Delaware family, this one brought all sorts of beauty and kindnesses which will sooth our hearts for many months to come.
 In all our married life, we have never lived close to family – sometimes states away, and sometimes countries apart. I have always missed that drop-in nearness with loved ones. Now with both parents gone, my hope is that we next generations will carry on relationships that matter. The traditions may change some, but as long as there are sweet memories…that’s a big part of making family happen. I’m very thankful for a brother and sister-in-law who made family happen for us this past week…and all the younguns who could.
As the holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly come, I hope for all of us that we can lean in – to God and each other. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Irish People Try American Thanksgiving Food – Dustin Nelson [Despite brief politicalization, this video was so fun.]

Bonuses

The Instant Pot – Haven’t bought one yet but now I am – thanks to this blogger – family. life. organized.

Favorite quote of the week:  Focus is finding a big “Yes” and saying “No” a thousand times.John R. Bell

Practices From the Inside Out: Taking Off Our Masks – Greg Richardson

Free T-shirt in the mail today – Emory Cares International Service Day