Tag Archives: Long Life

5 Friday Faves – “Fly Me to the Moon” Finger-style, Costly Grudges, Building Focus, “Don’t Leave Crumbs”, and Fall & All

Hi All! Friday Faves on a Monday after a busy Friday-Sunday weekend. Go!

1) “Fly Me to the Moon” Finger-style – After Nathan posted his Squid Game medley, he was asked to do a stand-alone “Fly Me to the Moon”. Here it is! The jazzy, up-beat rendition is so fun!

2) Costly Grudges – Is there someone you struggle to like or be in their company? Would you say it’s a grudge, either originating from you or that person? Grudges rupture relationships. They have a negative impact not just on that relationship, but potentially on others as well. Not to mention, their impact on your own health.

Photo Credit: Pinterest UK

Writer Tanner Garrity has written a list of 100 Ways to Live to Be 100. #66 is “Don’t Hold a Grudge”. Here is his take below:

66. Don’t hold a grudge

Happy people live longer. Improve your happiness by practicing “epistemic humility,” an intellectual virtue predicated on the idea that one can’t ever know something for sure. It’s meant to help us admit our imperfections and forgive others. Sounds too good to be true in the 2020s? All the more reason to give it a try.”

When we start to feel a grudge brewing, or we make the first strike and cause the rift with another person, the situation is greatly helped by some measure of humility. We don’t know everything about what just happened. In the midst of a quarrel, assessments are feverishly being made and the tendency is that they favor one over the other. If we treat a disagreement with humility, with the understanding that we can’t fully know what is going on with the other person in the argument, then we stand a better chance of some sort of resolution.

Worth the effort…including the perk of adding to one’s longevity.

What Is Family Estrangement? A Relationship Expert Describes the Problem and Research Agenda – Kristina Scharp

3) Building Focus – Focus is like muscle; it has to be built through exercise. I struggle with attending issues. To come across some simple tasks to add to life and aid focus is a happy occurrence.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Author Eleanor Morgan presents How to Retrain Your Frazzled Brain and Find Your Focus Again. In her piece, she introduces the scholarly work of scientist Amishi Jha, author of Peak Mind: Find Your Focus, Own Your Attention, Invest 12 Minutes a Day.

“We can learn to focus better, but we need to think about attention differently. It is not something we can just choose to do. We have to train the brain like a muscle. Specifically, with short bursts of daily exercises.”Eleanor Morgan

Morgan posts some of the mental exercises that Dr. Jha prescribes, including the 5 tips below:

  1. Pay attention to your breath, and where on your body you feel it most: direct your focus like a beam of light. Do this for three minutes a day, for a week.
  2. Integrate this technique into everyday life – for example, brushing your teeth. If you’re thinking about your to-do list as you’re scrubbing, bring the light back. Focus on the sensations.
  3. A lot of people report that their mind is “too busy.” Your job is not to stop it – your job is to exist with it, and to place your attention back where you want it.
  4. Ignore “mindfulness myths”: you are not “clearing your mind.” This is an active mental workout.
  5. There is no “blissed-out” state you are aiming to experience; in fact, the whole point is to be more present to the moment. – Eleanor Morgan

How to Retrain Your Frazzled Brain and Find Your Focus Again – Eleanor Morgan

I love the idea of being present in the moment…rather than the angst of the past or the unknown of the future. Sure, we have to plan, but the present is a much-neglected experience, and it’s really the only one we truly have. Right this very minute.

I am focusing in on the now.

These Navy Seal Tricks Will Help You Perform Better Under Pressure – Stephanie Vozza

4) “Don’t Leave Crumbs” – So crumbs aren’t anything we want to leave behind (unless you are the fairy tale pair, Hansel and Gretel. The wildly successful actor and author Matthew McConaughey talked about “crumbs” in a university commencement speech he gave in 2015.

“Don’t leave crumbs,” he says. “What are crumbs? The crumbs I’m talking about are the choices we make that make us have to look over our shoulder in the future….They come in the form of regret, guilt, and remorse – you leave ’em today, they will cause you more stress tomorrow, and they disallow you from creating a customized future in which you do not have to look over your shoulder.”Matthew McConaughey

Matthew McConaughey’s 5 Rules for a Good Future – Niklas Göke

Relationally, this reminds me of an adage “Keep your accounts short”. This means that your name is safe on my lips, and that I will make a practice of refusing to think ill of you. Keeping accounts short. Leaving no uncomfortable crumbs behind us in relationships or work/play practices.

In McConaughey’s speech he also gave 5 pieces of wisdom:

  • Don’t fall into the entitlement trap.
  • Never say anything is “unbelievable”.
  • Seek joy, not happiness.
  • Define success for yourself.
  • Make decisions you’ll be happy about tomorrow.

He gives more rationale and commentary in the larger speech (linked above). He also used these same points in another talk, incorporating his faith as well. The messages of both seem blended in an artful (10 minute) video. Below.

5) Fall & All – It is my favorite season – Fall or autumn. I just want to close with some images of this brief and beautiful repose between Summer and Winter. It goes so fast and I am savoring it every way possible (except for adding anything pumpkin-flavored to coffee. I just can’t).

   

For me, Fall ushers in Christmas (American Thanksgiving sitting right in between), so I’m completely ok with the mix of all this beauty.

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That’s the Faves for this week. Thanks so much for stopping by. You encourage me…put your own Faves in the Comments below. Until next time.

Bonuses:

Photo Credit: Facebook, Hallmark Channel

6 Steps to Better Communication – Mental Health Mama

The Good Part About “Waning” Immunity – Katherine J. Wu

Interoception: The Hidden Sense that Shapes Wellbeing – David Robson

How to Identify Your Shadow Emotions and Why You Should – Rachel Fairbank

5 Friday Faves – John Lewis’ Funeral, Resistance, Viola Davis, Neighborhoods, and Wedding Vows

Here’s to weekends…and Faves of the week. Five of mine follow:

1) John Lewis’ Funeral – Shortly before he died of pancreatic cancer (on July 17, 2020), civil rights activitistCongressman John Lewis, D-Ga., wrote an essay for the New York Times. He asked for the piece to be published on the day of his funeral.Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Here is an excerpt from the essay John Lewis wrote, read at his funeral:

“Though I may not be here with you, I urge you to answer the highest calling of your heart and stand up for what you truly believe. In my life I have done all I can to demonstrate that the way of peace, the way of love and nonviolence is the more excellent way. Now it is your turn to let freedom ring.

When historians pick up their pens to write the story of the 21st century, let them say that it was your generation who laid down the heavy burdens of hate at last and that peace finally triumphed over violence, aggression and war. So I say to you, walk with the wind, brothers and sisters, and let the spirit of peace and the power of everlasting love be your guide.”

I was glad to have watched Representative Lewis’ funeral, seeing him honored by old friends, sweet family, and loyal staff. Then fellow politicians, including three past US presidents. Of the politicians, my favorite tribute came from President George W. Bush. No agenda. No barbs. Just all John Lewis.

2) Resistance – When George Floyd was killed, we heard, experienced and even shared in the national outcry. As the protests have turned into riots and looting, some of us are beginning to wonder when will it be enough…or too much. Not the cries for reforms in law enforcement or other changes needed to address those hurting in our country…but taking the protests to a whole different place – that of disrupting and destroying what is good and decent as well.

This Friday night after midnight, on the streets of Portland, Oregon, a group of protestors kindled a fire with Bibles. This city, like many around the US, has been the site of protests for over 60 days. Here and elsewhere, the body count rises of people killed in the riots. Personal properties destroyed. People divided…all in the wake of George Floyd’s death.

This isn’t right. Resistance to a corrupt system is appropriate, but violence just for violence’s sake is not the “good trouble” John Lewis encouraged.

When the Bibles were burned, it stirred a different kind of mad. There is a place for resistance, but there is also a place for resistance against resistance that hurts people…that hurts our country…that impunes whole groups of people.

I read the following article this week. It is definitely partisan in ways and is a hard read, given we all have people we care about on both sides of our political aisles. However, it delivers a critical, and thought-provoking exposé of modern-day Marxism. The YouTube video also linked is a longer, more comprehensive treatment of the subject by the same author/speaker Larry Alex Taunton (13 points instead of the 8 in the article).

Understanding What Is Happening in America: A Christian Response – Larry Alex Taunton

“Evil will not have the last word. Good will ultimately triumph. God is sovereign. As St Thomas Aquinas put it, ‘God is so powerful that he can direct any evil to a good end.’”Resisting Evil, Bible in One Year

Photo Credit: Organic Runner Mom

Thoughts on Resistance and Forward Progress  to Your Goals – Organic Runner Mom

3) Viola Davis – When you think of someone as beautiful, elegant, and articulate as actress, producer Viola Davis, you might be a bit starstruck. I know I am. You may not be aware of the incongruence also present in her life – a childhood of poverty and abuse. This exquisite woman should give hope to all of us.

Today, she is using her fame and professional platform to give back. One way is the documentary she narrated, “A Touch of Sugar”. She is a spokesperson for prevention and treatment of Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus.

4) Neighborhoods – We all have favorite places and spaces …Richmond, Virginia, is one of those favorite places of mine. It is a patchwork quilt of very different neighborhoods. Once upon a time, Monument Ave., in the Museum District of Richmond, was considered one of the most beautiful streets in the world. Those who thought so were probably not negatively affected by the several monuments of Confederate military generals.

Now the monuments are coming down. The houses on Monument are still beautiful and historic. We’ll see what happens next, after the monuments are gone.

Like in other cities, we continue to have protests, riots, and destruction/defacing of properties. Recently, I made an unfounded comment, “Those rioting probably aren’t even from here, and do they even visit the neighborhoods beyond this one? The neighborhoods where Blacks should hear up-close that their lives do matter.” Again, like I said, it was not a fair statement.

[I wrote here previously the monuments including a local teen’s take on what would help more than monuments coming down here. Original piece by Matt Chaney here.]

Still, I felt compelled to take a trip to some of the neighborhoods of Richmond beyond the Museum District. It had been awhile since my last visit…more beautiful, resourceful, and peaceful than I had remembered.

My own neighborhood is tucked in the near suburbs of Richmond. 10 minutes to downtown. Quiet, safe, middle-class.

When I heard the news of a Tweet that our President made toward suburban home owners not needing to worry about subsidized housing coming our way, I was surprised and saddened. He is known for his tweeting, but this seemed more caustic than usual. Or was it?

In an election year, what would motivate an incumbent to say such a thing unless there was something deeper…something the casual reader might miss?

Pondering this, I came across an article by columnist Eric Levitz which birthed one of those “Aha!” moments.

Those of us Twitter readers who were aghast at our President’s comment would never outwardly show should exclusion of the poor…and yet…

Our city and county schools are in the process of a redistricting campaign (county school redistricting and city school redistricting). As far as I know the decisions have been postponed because of COVID. Still the battle-lines are drawn based on what redistricting will mean more for those homeowners who bought houses to be in a school districts with high ratings. The re-districting, in order to change up the student body percentages in predominantly black schools and predominantly white school, could alter that for them.

Really fascinating. That tweet then takes on a whole new meaning – exposing our not-so-generous motives. Politics can be so twisted it is hard to know what legislation is actually good for the citizenry at large and what is totally related to special interests.

By the way, our neighborhood, as much as I love it, has property values negatively affected by schools with low ratings. We are in the throes of the above school redistricting decision. I, for one, would be glad to see our schools improve in whatever ways seem feasible. Not for my property value’s sake, but for the sake of the children. Also, bring on affordable housing for all…where people can own their own homes and be our neighbors.

Thoughts?

5) Wedding Vows – Let’s happily end on this. Dave and I were married over 35 years ago. As our anniversary comes up again, thinking back over our vows is good for us. We didn’t write them from scratch, but they are totally what we believe…they are our own and we mean to keep them…with God’s help.

This week I came across this sweet little video of last year’s wedding between American Idol finalists Gabby Barrett and Cade Foehner. In this wedding season, with COVID changing young couples’ plans and dates…the most important part of the day is that they make their vows to each other – whether in front of 3 people or 125. You’ll love this. <3

Watch Cade Foehner’s and Gabby Barrett’s Wedding Vows – Jill O’Rourke

That’s it for me…please share your own favorite finds in the Comments. Thanks for pausing here awhile.

Bonuses:

Photo Credit: Debbie Hampton, Twitter

Photo Credit: Oswald Chambers, Facebook, Pat Findley

This Is Why You Can’t Remember Yesterday – Markham Heid

The World’s Longest-living People Share This Hobby – Why Studies Say It Can Help Add Years to Your Life – Minda Zetlin