Today is Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of Lent. This 40-day commemoration is meant for us as Christians to look squarely at our sin before a holy God. We are to reflect on what He did, through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ to redeem us from that sin. Forgiveness is a huge theme of Lent, as we examine our hearts and deal with areas where we need forgiveness from God.
When we look at where we have done wrong, parallel to that is the reckoning with the wrong done to us by others. We ask forgiveness of God, we seek to forgive those who’ve wronged us, and we humble ourselves before those we’ve hurt, asking their forgiveness.
All this forgiveness talk! Asking for it, giving it, receiving it…and yet the key to it all for us is the tiny phrase Jesus spoke (John 16:33) “in Me”.
When we are so disturbed by the trauma we have experienced…or the trauma we have caused, our troubled thoughts stay focused on that wrong. That undoneness…that sense of hopelessness that it will ever be healed…that dark place in our minds we can’t seem to climb out. However…
He gives us a way forward through His very presence with us. Trauma isn’t easily remedied, but it can be got through, so to speak, as we tune our thoughts and turn our eyes onto Jesus.
A podcast I just listened to this week really spoke to my heart of the beauty displayed in the person of Christ. [Creating Beauty in the Bomb Shelters of Our Lives – Being Known Podcast – Season 4, Episode 1]. In the face of trauma, we too often forget His love and His presence with us. In the podcast, Christian psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson gives practical helps (writing our story, talking about our trauma with a person we trust, learning how we to take our trauma to God).
The biggest takeaway goes back to the phrase “in Me” – in Christ. We are truly known and loved by Jesus…our life, our being, all of who we are is settled in Him. We can have courage. We can have peace.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my older brother lately. He died at 61. When our parents divorced, he was old enough to have experienced the rupture of that relationship as well as the knowledge our dad (biological father) just didn’t care enough for us…he just didn’t care. I can only imagine how that haunted my brother growing up. What trauma my big brother would experience in life…some self-imposed… I wish I had tuned in better earlier… My peace and comfort about him and what he went through in life rest on the trust that he is now with Christ, in Heaven. The troubles of this life are forever behind him.
For today…on this Worship Wednesday…this Ash Wednesday, let’s focus on the hope we have, even in trauma…
In Him…in Jesus:
He is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings, and the Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see, to him be honor and eternal power. Amen. – 1 Timothy 6:15b-16
When we pull away from the noise of this troubled world and the dark thoughts of trauma, and draw near to the true Christ, our minds are renewed. The joy of being known and loved by such a God diminishes those things that hold us in bondage. Take heart, Dear One.
Listen below to the amazing 5 minute description the late Pastor S. M. Lockridge gives of our Lord Jesus…and take courage.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. – Romans 8:1
For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” – 1 Peter 2:6
Turns out I’ve written a lot about shame. Strange for me, in that until a few months ago, I didn’t think shame was something that bothered me. Guilt, yes. Shame…no.
I was wrong. Even studying Scripture, I must have just skipped over all the “shame” passages. We are introduced to the experience of shame very early in the Bible as Adam and Eve (before sin) were described as “naked but unashamed”. Too soon, they tasted the bitter fruit of disobedience and couldn’t stomach the shame of their nakedness. Naked and, this time, ashamed…and wanting to hide themselves from each other…and God.
What are we trying to hide? What are we working so hard to bury or cover or avoid? Quick to judge someone else before we ourselves are judged.
Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson helps us understand shame and find a way to healing and freedom. In his book The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves, he talks about how shamed people try to shame others. We don’t want our lives to be examined too closely…our secrets might be exposed. We hide. We isolate ourselves. We turn aside rather than be truly known.
“When we experience shame, we tend to turn away from others because the prospect of being seen or known by another carries the anticipation of shame being intensified or reactivated. However, the very act of turning away, while temporarily protecting and relieving us from our feeling (and the gaze of the ‘other’), ironically simultaneously reinforces the very shame we are attempting to avoid. Notably, we do not necessarily realize this to be happening-we’re just trying to survive the moment. But indeed this dance between hiding and feeling shame itself becomes a tightening of the noose. We feel shame, and then feel shame for feeling shame. It begets itself.” – Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
The irony here is that none of us is exempt from this experience of shame. We have all endured the pain and sorrow of it. How we deal with it is to name it and take it out of the darkness into His marvelous light… Shame is not meant to be a tormentor. God gave us this gift, really, as a signal, a marker, that something is wrong and can be righted. We are to turn our eyes away from hiding our sin and look to Jesus to heal our sin.
“To this God, whom we meet in Jesus, we must direct our attention if we are to know the healing of our shame. We must literally look to Jesus in embodied ways in order to know how being loved in community brings shame to its knees and lifts us up and into acts of goodness and beauty.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
Sometimes we feel shame not from anything we’ve done wrong but from what others have communicated to us about us…from childhood. Our “not enough-ness”. That communication gets wired into our minds and we recall it over and over through life.
We can derail that messaging when we name it for what it is, talk about it with a person with whom we feel safe, and give it to Jesus.
Just this week, I had the responsibility of arranging housing for a refugee family. Rentals in our city are often expensive, and even at that, hard to come by. I found an apartment that would work well (praise God!), then in the process of applying for a lease, the monthly rent went up (LIKE $50). It changes daily I was told. After venting my frustration with the rental office agent, and we ended our phone conversation with me answering his question, “Yes, I still want the apartment!!!” After a few minutes, the shamed bubbled up. What if I lost us the apartment? What if my rant meant we would have to keep searching for a home for this weary, displaced family? What if? What if?! Shamed turned my focus inward and I was terrified at being found out…being found wanting…being a failure.
The Lord, in His mercy, reminded me of all I had been learning about shame, and I recognized it for what it was. Processing it, I prayed… and I called Dave. Talking through it took away much of its power. In the end, there was nothing to worry about. We agreed to the rent offered (which was still within the budget…I overreacted!), and the agent had taken no offense, it turns out. God had quieted my heart and reminded me of the truth of His love. He provided. Period. Full stop. We take deep breaths, and look to Him.
“…Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne.” – Hebrews 12:2
“Shame’s healing encompasses the counterintuitive act of turning toward what we are most terrified of. We fear the shame that we will feel when we speak of that very shame. In some circumstances we anticipate this vulnerable exposure to be so great that it will be almost life threatening. But it is in the movement toward another, toward connection with someone who is safe, that we come to know life and freedom from this prison.” – Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
The key here in dealing with shame is to refuse to let it isolate us. In the dark of our own silent shame, we allow our thoughts to torment and accuse…or we tamp down those thoughts by dismissing them or turning on others in judgment. When we hide, we miss the comfort God means for us through fellowship with Him and each other.
“You did it: You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing; You stripped off my dark clothing and covered me with joyful light. You have restored my honor. My heart is ready to explode, erupt in new songs! It’s impossible to keep quiet! Eternal One, my God, my Life-Giver, I will thank You forever.” – Psalm 30:11-12
Worship with me (Passion Music‘s Glorious Day – music & lyrics in link). Let’s celebrate the blessed freedom we have in Christ…
I was buried beneath my shame
Who could carry that kind of weight
It was my tomb
Till I met You
I was breathing but not alive
All my failures I tried to hide
It was my tomb
Till I met You
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
Now Your mercy has saved my soul
Now Your freedom is all I know
The old made new
Jesus, when I met You
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
I needed rescue
My sin was heavy
But chains break at the weight of Your glory
I needed shelter
I was an orphan
Now You call me a citizen of heaven
When I was broken
You were my healing
Your love is the air that I’m breathing
I have a future
My eyes are open
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day
You called my name
And I ran out of that grave
Out of the darkness
Into Your glorious day*
For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”– Romans 10:11
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. – 1 Timothy 2:1
When we lived overseas, one of my greatest joys was to pray, on the streets doing errands. In Cairo, Tunis, Sfax, and Casablanca. Just walking in and out of stores. Praying for people as they came across my path. Strangers with lives of which I had no knowledge. Except for those things we all hold in common. Work, health, family, and some understanding of God. I felt such a connection with these people who I might never really know…or maybe I would…one day.
Praying.
What a privilege also to pray for those near to us…family, friends, neighbors, colleagues. Near…and far. Those in power and those far removed. Those who deeply need prayer in the moment as well as those who discount their need…but it is still there.
My Mom was a great pray-er, and we, her children, are still buoyed on the wings of those prayers. Now, my praying mentor is my treasured mom-in-law. She is praying, early morning and through the day, for many somebodies…us included. [She won’t love the image below that I captured without her knowledge. For me, it is a beautiful, albeit early-morning-grainy image for me of one before the throne of God.] So thankful for her and for the God who draws her to Himself.
If you wonder sometimes if anyone is praying for you…take that wondering to God and with it your own prayer for someone else. Keep in mind that in our loneliest, most isolated times, Someone is always praying for us…His name is Jesus.
Who is there to condemn us? For Christ Jesus, who died, and more than that was raised to life, is at the right hand of God—and He is interceding for us. – Romans 8:34
Worship with me (lyrics and music in the link. This cover done beautifully by Ricky Skaggs).
Somebody’s prayin, I can feel it
Somebody’s prayin’ for me
Mighty hands are guiding me
To protect what I can’t see
Lord I believe, Lord I believe
That somebody’s prayin’, for me
Angels are watchin’, I can feel it
Angels are watchin’ over me
There’s many miles ahead ’til I get home
Still I’m safely kept before Your throne
‘Cause Lord I believe, Lord I believe
Your angels are watchin’ over me
Well, I’ve walked through barren wilderness
When my pillow was a stone
And I’ve been through the darkest caverns
Where no light had ever shown
Still I went on ’cause there was someone
Who was down on their knees
And Lord. I thank You for those people
Prayin’ all this time for me
Somebody’s prayin’, I can feel it
Somebody’s prayin’ for me
Mighty hands are guiding me
To protect me from what I can’t see
Lord I believe, Lord I believe
Somebody’s prayin’ for me*
Kids’ birthdays, weddings, babies, anniversaries. For sure.
How about mileposts in our careers? A job well-done?
Have workplace celebrations (even micro-celebrations) gone by the wayside? Even before COVID? Too expensive? Too hard to keep up with? Considered frivolous and unaligned with a stream-lined cost-saving workplace? Have these cost-savings cut losses or added to them? If this is your situation, consider re-instituting celebrations. Omitting them may have cost you more than having them.
I’m not going to go into the particulars (links below will support those). However, I want to give a shout-out to one recent celebration which we got to attend and soak up the joy of it all.
[This had to do with a church celebrating the 10th anniversary of their pastor couple. The elements of a beautiful milestone recognition follow in the pictures and brief description. Enjoy.]
Andrew and Marcie came to this job after a catastrophic health event forced them to leave the international work they were deeply committed to. A redemptive story followed in these 10 years since.
They are not the kind of people who are ambitious for center stage, but they find themselves there because of what (and who) they bring with them. They take the hard and display the good and the God in it.
We had the opportunity to be one of the out-of-town guests for a surprise celebration of Andrew and Marcie’s work (10 years so far).
This church covered all bases in celebrating them and drawing all of us into that circle of deep gratitude. #Snacks and #giftbags for the travelers (you planning milestone celebrations – keep this! – for all involved as far as your budget allows).
The surprise actually happened (for Andrew anyway. Marcie helped to keep him in the dark). The sweet first sightings were emotional.
Milestone celebrations must always have food. No need for it to be elaborate, but special is nice. From eating at local specialty restaurants to a potluck. There is something about eating together from time to time (and especially to celebrate a person or progress) that creates a bond between people. When is the last time you ate with your team? Your boss? Make it happen.
Then the words. They matter. Words of affirmation. Words of inspiration. Vision. Purpose. However, not just for the big picture but how the pieces fit together. Celebrations are about the pieces…and the pieces are people. If I may add: God puts the puzzle together. [Because this was a church celebrating their pastor, the Sunday service included all us life-long family and long-time friends – joining their local church family who love them with us. This celebration was a beautiful demonstration of that love. No holds barred.]
Celebrations are meant to honor both the person/project and the larger purpose that holds us together. If it’s work or family or something other. For Andrew and Marcie, it would have been very awkward for them if they were the focus of the 10-year anniversary. Their church family knew this and kept in view what mattered most to them all.
That was our weekend with all the feels of a celebration. It was inspiring. I’m looking forward to being part of a force that celebrates more. The doldrums of this cubicled and isolating season almost put me to sleep. This weekend woke me (back) up!
[Today is Mom’s birthday – 19 of them now in Heaven. This blog adapted from the Archives. ]
Our little family never lived close to the grandparents. This was not easy…for any of us. Before I married, I lived close to home, and Mom was my best friend. She died almost 20 years ago, and I miss her every day still. To people who knew her well, I would often say “when I grow up, I want to be just like her.” Still working on that.
Mom and I shared a weakness for words…they are probably excessively important to us, delivering both positive and (sometimes) negative weight. She was an amazing encourager. She rarely missed an opportunity to lift another’s spirit or to speak loving truth to someone desperate for God’s touch.
When I moved away to take a teaching job, she and my dad helped me with the move. New Haven, Connecticut would be a 2-day drive from Georgia. At that time, it was the farthest I had ever wandered from home. She stayed a week to help me settle in. While there, she was such great company. We explored the city together and laughed over a new culture and cried at the missing that was ahead for us.
She filled my freezer with her baking, and, while I was at work, she wrote notes. Then she hid them everywhere. After she flew home, I began finding them. In my coffee mug. Under my pillow. In the pocket of my coat. Among my reference books. Behind my music books on the piano. She was with me in the love notes she left, and it made the distance between us…less.
My mom and I also had a weakness for bits of paper. I have kept every one of her notes. These from that move over 30 years ago are fading…red ink on pink paper. There is a lifetime of notes between Mom and me. The tradition she started on that first move has become a life-long tradition for our family. Our visits back and forth, across the US and then the globe, have been papered by these little notes.
Our children, from the time they could write, entered into this tradition much to the joy of their grandparents. Before we would leave from visits with them, these three young ones would write of their affection for their grandparents and hide them all over their houses. I delighted in their cooperation in this conspiracy of love.
Mom always wrote notes…not just to us but to so many. She and her Sunday School Class ladies would send cards every week to the sick ones or the sad ones. She had a special burden for the elderly, for widows (including functional widows, deserted by husbands) and for fatherless children (again including those “orphaned” by still-living fathers). She inspired me by her humble ambition .
Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world. – James 1:27
I am so thankful for my mom’s bits of paper…for her love…and for her perseverance in encouraging and serving others. Her generation is sadly almost gone, and it is for us to pick up these traditions, or traditions like them. Passing them on somehow to the next generations…Maybe there won’t be bits of paper or love notes like in the past. I do hope we still take the time to write. Definitely, the call to serve and to encourage is as current as ever. My life continues to be rich with those, young and old, who reach out with words of kindness and encouragement. Written or spoken, they are love notes to the heart.
Thanks, Mom. Thank God for you.
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. – Isaiah 55:7
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. – 1 John 1:9
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God. – Ephesians 2:8
What then? Should we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? Absolutely not! – Romans 6:15
To be forgiven for wrong-doing is amazing! We know we sin against God and against people, and to experience forgiveness is the most beautiful thing we can ever receive. It’s cause for joyful noise, a humble heart, and great celebration.
We can play down our sin. We can even wrongly feel justification for our actions…our unforgiveness…at times. However, if we have truly received Christ as Savior and Lord, we see sin differently. We want victory over sin. We want to live out His grace and display His glory.
I love We the Kingdom‘s song Holy Water. It’s a raspy, raw confession of grateful joy at being forgiven. It’s also a call to faith for those who don’t yet know Him.
There is nowhere to go except the Lord God for such forgiveness!
If we lose our joy…if we forget the deadening effect of sin…we can turn it around. In fact, God gives us repentance. It is a gift to each of us…by His power, He will grease the path for us to turn around to return to Him. His grace…always His grace draws us back to Him.
“Repentance is neither a suggestion nor an option. It is mandated by the Lord Almighty. Therefore, we should always be ready to repent and quick to do so. When we sin against God and man, we should be the first one to cast the stone against ourselves. We should find ourselves apologizing to our spouses, friends, and co-workers before they even have a chance to charge us with an offense. In that sense, we should be the greatest critics of ourselves, repenting of our sins not only to those whom we have offended but to all who knew of the offense. In doing so, we will not give our adversary any advantage to divide the body of Christ, for we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:11). Can we possibly imagine what might happen if we took God’s command to repent seriously? All of our works are seen by the watching world, and even when our light does not shine so brightly before men and when our works do not cause men to glorify God as they should, in our repentance and forgiveness of one another let us demonstrate to the world that we are followers of Christ by our love.“ – from The Gift of Repentance – Burk Parsons
Would you worship with me right now, if you can? [Lyrics/music in this link.]
God, I’m on my knees again
God, I’m begging please again
I need You
Oh, I need You
Walking down these desert roads
Water for my thirsty soul
I need You
Oh, I need You
Your forgiveness
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Like holy water on my skin, hey!
Dead man walking, slave to sin
I wanna know about being born again
I need You
Oh, God, I need You
So, take me to the riverside
Take me under, baptize
I need You
Oh, God, I need You, oh-oh
Your forgiveness
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Like holy water on my skin
On my skin
I don’t wanna abuse Your grace
God, I need it every day
It’s the only thing that ever really
Makes me wanna change
I don’t wanna abuse Your grace
God, I need it every day
It’s the only thing that ever really
Makes me wanna change
I don’t wanna abuse Your grace
God, I need it every day
It’s the only thing that ever really
Makes me wanna change, oh-oh-oh
I don’t wanna abuse Your grace
God, I need it every day
It’s the only thing that ever really
Makes me wanna change
Your forgiveness
Is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
It’s like holy water
Your forgiveness
Oh, is like sweet, sweet honey on my lips
Like the sound of a symphony to my ears
Oh, it’s like holy water on my skin
Yeah, it’s like holy water on my skin
Oh, it’s like holy water*
Climbing up the steps of our church stage, I kept in the shadows. One of our pastors had asked me to close our service in prayer for two refugee families we were sponsoring for resettlement. We have been praying for them for weeks now.
Coming forward to the podium, I had a strange experience.
I became timid…almost afraid, preparing to talk to God…and not at all sure why.
As if standing in front of my own church family was a scary thing. I don’t know what was off-putting about it, but it has given me pause over these last few days.
When we pray we have only good before us in the person of Almighty God. He calls us to prayer and He bestows upon us the authority to pray believing in the One True God.
The Scripture is full of descriptions of the magnificence of Christ and the power of prayer, in obedience to God.
For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. – Philippians 2:9-11
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness,and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one;and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God,praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end, keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints,and also for me, that words may be given to me [Paul] in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel.” – Ephesians 6:10-19
When we pray, we enter into an arena where God shows Himself mighty on our behalf. Praying can be scary because it is the stuff of miracle and mystery.
As often happens in preparing to write Worship Wednesday each week, God gave me a song. Sometimes it’s the passage of Scripture first, but today it was a song. Lauren Daigle‘s “Come Alive (Dry Bones)”. Then I was carried back to the Scripture. The Valley of Dry Bones.
In Ezekiel 37, The Lord spoke to the prophet (Ezekiel) during the Babylonian captivity of Israel. God’s people had rebelled (again) and they were dead to Him…They felt the deadness inside themselves and cried out to God, even in their hopelessness…as if God couldn’t raise them back to life.
Yet He is the only one who could save them.
The passage below is long, but don’t miss the vision God gave Ezekiel:
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and He brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me down in the middle of the valley; and it was full of bones. He caused me to pass among them round about, and behold, there were very many on the surface of the valley; and lo, they were very dry. He said to me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” And I answered, “O Lord GOD, You know.” Again He said to me, “Prophesy over these bones and say to them, ‘O dry bones, hear the word of the LORD.’ “Thus says the Lord GOD to these bones, ‘Behold, I will cause breath to enter you that you may come to life. ‘I will put sinews on you, make flesh grow back on you, cover you with skin and put breath in you that you may come alive; and you will know that I am the LORD.’”
So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold, a rattling; and the bones came together, bone to its bone. And I looked, and behold, sinews were on them, and flesh grew and skin covered them; but there was no breath in them. Then He said to me, “Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, son of man, and say to the breath, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe on these slain, that they come to life.”’” So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they came to life and stood on their feet, an exceedingly great army.
Then He said to me, “Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel; behold, they say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope has perished. We are completely cut off.’ “Therefore prophesy and say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord GOD, “Behold, I will open your graves and cause you to come up out of your graves, My people; and I will bring you into the land of Israel. “Then you will know that I am the LORD, when I have opened your graves and caused you to come up out of your graves, My people. “I will put My Spirit within you and you will come to life, and I will place you on your own land. Then you will know that I, the LORD, have spoken and done it,” declares the LORD.’”– Ezekiel 37:1-14
This vision was a metaphor, symbolic of what was to come. God would forgive the people of their sin. He heard their cries, restoring them to Himself, and eventually restored them to their homeland. He pointed Ezekiel to what He would do for Israel…in that Valley of Dry Bones.
Prayer is our witness to the just and merciful authority of God. He speaks to us and we tune our ears to Him. He regularly does the miraculous in our lives, and we don’t want to miss it.
I was nervous praying in front of church family. Maybe it was because I was afraid the words wouldn’t come. The words I needed to ask God on behalf of these refugee families who had lost so much. God already knows what they need…maybe it’s what we need from Him that He calls us to settle…and to trust Him with.
Through the eyes of men it seems
There’s so much we have lost
As we look down the road
Where all the prodigals have walked
One by one
The enemy has whispered lies
And led them off as slaves
But we know that you are God
Yours is the victory
We know there is more to come
That we may not yet see
So with the faith you’ve given us
We’ll step into the valley unafraid, yeah
As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones, come alive
God of endless mercy
God of unrelenting love
Rescue every daughter
Bring us back the wayward son
And By your spirit breathe upon them
Show the world that you alone can save
You alone can save
As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones come alive
So breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe, oh breath of God
Breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe
Breathe, oh breath of God
Now breathe, oh breath of God
Breathe, oh breath of God, now breathe
As we call out to dry bones
Come alive, come alive
We call out to dead hearts
Come alive, come alive
Up out of the ashes
Let us see an army rise
We call out to dry bones come alive, yeah
We call out to dry bones, come alive
So…if we struggle with timidity, or doubt, or even some unbelief… we know what to do. Come. Come alive. Wake up afresh to the saving power of Redeemer God.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. –Hebrews 4:16
We watched that film (which I highly recommend), at home, during which I wrote pages of notes from the rich and thought-provoking dialog. The film featured a biopic of both a young C. S. Lewis and his older self. Beautifully filmed and intriguing as it unfolded Lewis’ childhood, his academic life as an atheist, and then his wrestling with the idea of God…and then the reality of Him. Lewis was literally “surprised by joy“.
What is joy? It’s way more than happiness. In fact, this feeling of joy can even be experienced in a hard place, in suffering, even despair.
“The difference between shallow happiness and a deep, sustaining joy is sorrow. Happiness lives where sorrow is not. When sorrow arrives, happiness dies. It can’t stand pain. Joy, on the other hand, rises from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief. Joy, by the grace of God, is the transfiguration of suffering into endurance, and of endurance into character, and of character into hope–and the hope that has become our joy does not (as happiness must for those who depend up on it) disappoint us.” –Walter Wangerin Jr.
Joy is not something that we can produce nor can we hold onto it. It is a glimpse of Heaven. It points to something larger, something beyond the moment. It is not to be made an idol of (a good word for someone holding it close as her word for the year). It is a glorious gift – it sharpens our experience of beauty and love. It assures and sustains us. It gives pause. It fills all the space we give it.
You know that magical moment when a sunrise reaches its full beauty and then fades fast into day. We want the moment to last longer, but we still have the experience of it, the memory of it, and the hope of it coming again. Joy is a snapshot of the goodness of God…of God Himself, the Joy-giver.
As the sunrise faded this morning, I pulled out a selection of books from our large C. S. Lewis collection to revisit on his take on joy. Do you have a favorite of his books?
Just a little of how Lewis describes joy:
“In a sense the central story of my life is about nothing else…it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy…a technical term and must be sharply distinguished from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy has one characteristic…in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again…It might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want.
Joy must have the stab, the pang, the inconsolable longing…All Joy reminds [“Look! Look! What do I remind you of?”]. It is never a possession, always a desire for something longer ago or further away or still “about to be”.
Joy is the serious business of Heaven.” – C. S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
I will share one brief story where, in a moment of terrible loss, I was “surprised by joy”. Many years ago, our Chad, a cherished young nephew of ours died, at 23 y/o, in a car accident. It was horrific for everyone in the family because he was so dear to all of us. There came that moment, with the family gathered, that we were able to see him at the funeral home. I remember vividly saying silently to God that the test of His promise of grace sufficient was before us. To walk into the room and face the reality of Chad’s being with us no more was terrifying. Yet…God showed up. It was awful but in a surreal way. None of us tried to comfort each other; there just weren’t words. Yet, it was like we were all being held up, held together, held close. Leaning in, surrounding that casket…loving that boy. Longing to see him alive again…and assured, truly comforted, we would, one day, see him again.
Maybe no one else had the experience I had…but I believe it was common to all of us…they wouldn’t label it joy, I don’t think, but it was a joy that burst in…at a time of shock and sadness. A joy that helped us keep breathing and hold together rather than push away.
The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it? – Jeremiah 17:9
If You, O LORD, kept track of iniquities, then who, O Lord, could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, so that You may be feared. I wait for the LORD; my soul does wait, and in His word I put my hope. – Psalm 130:3-5
For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I have not been justified by this; but the One judging me is the Lord. – 1 Corinthians 4:4
Let’s spend a few minutes looking back. Thinking about regret. We aren’t going to stay there, because God saved us for this present moment, and, beyond this, our glorious future. However, looking back (with righteous intention) can empower us for our lives in the present. Looking back can also grow gratitude for the God who has graciously forgiven us.
Maybe regret isn’t something that plagues you. That is a grace, Dear One. Pastor John Piper says: “A life without regrets is built on a mirage. We have all sinned.” I have never thought much about regret until recent years. Getting older seems to grease the tracks for that.
I have regrets…and it turns out, so do we all. In pondering it this week, I’ve asked several in my life about their regrets. Surprisingly, these conversations revealed things I didn’t know about people I know well…regret exposed tender memories and heartbreak.
Some things we can’t change…but the things we can, then… hallelujah!
Let’s pull our regret out of the dark recesses of our memory, put it on the table, and examine it with the help of the Holy Spirit…and a trusted friend. If we don’t deal with our regret, it is still affecting the freedom we have in Christ and our sense of ourselves and each other.
Let’s do what we need to do with that regret…and get truly free.
Researcher and clinical psychologist Dr. J. Kim Penberthy posted a fascinating and empowering piece on overcoming regret.
“Regret is a very real reaction to a disappointing event in your life, a choice you made that can’t be changed, something you said that you can’t take back. It’s one of those feelings you can’t seem to shake, a heavy and intrusive negative emotion that can last for minutes, days, years or even a lifetime.”
Regret mentally references something we did or that we didn’t do (in the spiritual realm: sins of commission and sins of omission).
Penberthy offers a cognitive model for overcoming regret. It involves the acronym “REACH“:
Recall the hurt (face it)
Empathize (be kind and compassionate)
Altruistically offer forgiveness (to oneself)
Commit publicly (share it) and
Hold on to that forgiveness and stay true to the decision.
Our tendency is to either bury our regret or burrow into our regret. Either way robs us of 1) what we can learn from it, 2) what we can do to correct or overcome it, and 3) what freedom we can experience, living fully in the present (beyond the conscious/unconscious burden of regret).
Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson writes about overcoming regret:
“The process of repair requires us to confront the reality of the wound that has taken place. This includes naming the offense (what someone did or failed to do), acknowledging that it has caused pain to the one offended, and pledging to work to never repeat the behavior. In the language of faith we describe this maneuver of repair as confession and repentance – the act of turning around and going in the opposite direction, not merely feeling regret for having done something wrong.” – Curt Thompson, The Anatomy of the Soul
John Piper answers the question “How Should I Handle My Regrets?” in a 10 minute podcast. He reminds us of the Savior we have and the salvation we’ve received…recalling the thief on the cross, being executed because of a regrettable life, and yet, in a moment, repenting and receiving assurance of Paradise with the Lord. Wow!
Piper warns us that our memories are faulty causing us to be either too hard on ourselves…or too easy. Then he calls us both to remember and to forget:
Remember that you were at that time separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.– Ephesians 2:12-13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14
“Wherever remembering our failures will help us fly to Christ, love Christ, rest in Christ, cherish grace, sing of mercy, serve with zeal, then let’s get on with remembering and regretting…
but…
Wherever remembering begins to paralyze us with the weight of failure and remorse so that we don’t love Christ more or cherish grace more or serve with greater energy, then let us forget and press on by the power of grace for the little time we have left…Press on in faith for the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ.” – John Piper, Desiring God
Let’s close out as Pastor John calls us to “sing of mercy” with the song below: Mercy.
“You did it: You turned my deepest pains into joyful dancing; You stripped off my dark clothing and covered me with joyful light. You have restored my honor. My heart is ready to explode, erupt in new songs! It’s impossible to keep quiet! Eternal One, my God, my Life-Giver, I will thank You forever.” – Psalm 30:11-12
“For I have every confidence that nothing–not death, life, heavenly messengers, dark spirits, the present, the future, spiritual powers, height, depth, nor any created thing–can come between us and the love of God revealed in the Anointed, Jesus our Lord.“ – Romans 8:38-39
For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”– Romans 10:11
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7
For many years we lived in a part of the world where you were either Muslim or Christian. You were born that way, and supposedly you would die that way. As I learned the local language (Arabic), I wanted to be able to communicate that, “No, I wasn’t born a Christian. It was a choice I made in response to God’s Spirit drawing me to Himself.”
Recently I found my testimony in English and Arabic. The very first lines spoke to the shame I had, even as a little girl, at my frustrated longing to be good for my mama. She carried a heavy load of responsibility in life, and I didn’t want to add to it. Unfortunately, “being good” was something I failed at daily…to the point that I knew I couldn’t be good. I wasn’t good.
Shame – that often silent companion that shows up unexpectedly to rob our joy and wreck our confidence. The Enemy loves to accuse us …to draw our attention away from God and onto ourselves. We spend enormous mental energy keeping shame hidden. At times, we turn our own shame into shaming someone else. It’s their fault. They are to blame. “Look what THEY did.”
If we focus on our own sense of shame or how shameful someone else has been to us or someone else, we miss God. We miss His redemptive work in our lives, to draw us out of shame and into His love…extended to us and through us to others. If we keep our eyes trained on the Lord, we see ourselves as He sees us. We see others, even those we would want to shame, with His eyes of love and forgiveness. Our stories are altered, and the shame fades.
It begins with fixing our eyes on God.
“Ultimately we become what we pay attention to, and the options available to us at anytime are myriad, the most important of which being located within us. Paul, in his letter to the Romans knows this, stating flatly, ‘Those who live according to the flash have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace’ (Romans 8:5-6). To have one’s mind set on something is essentially about paying attention. What do I pay attention to? Paul says that what we pay attention to doubles back and governs us. Hence our attention is deeply associated with either death or life. So much of the biblical narrative is the story of God working hard to get our attention.” ― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
“To this God, whom we meet in Jesus, we must direct our attention if we are to know the healing of our shame. We must literally look to Jesus in embodied ways in order to know how being loved in community brings shame to its knees and lifts us up and into acts of goodness and beauty.”
― Curt Thompson, The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
Last week, on listening to Tasha Layton‘s song, “Look What You’ve Done”, I heard it with new ears. It felt new to me…and full of hope. I had actually written a blog centered on it just a few months ago but have learned so much about shame since then, devouring Curt Thompson’s books on the same. God is using these revelations to point me to Him and to embolden my hope that we can rewrite our stories. Like how Scripture can be fresh and new when we are desperate for truth, the same can happen with worship songs.
This song right here is where I am this week. Maybe you, too? So together, we fix our eyes on Jesus, and He flips our shame on its head. With our eyes fixed on Him, we can receive His forgiveness and we can also forgive. No more shame. Eyes on Him. Hallelujah!
Look what you’ve done
How could you fall so far?
You should be ashamed of yourself
So I was ashamed of myself
The lies I believed
They got some roots that run deep
I let ’em take a hold of my life
I let ’em take control of my lifeStanding in Your presence, Lord
I can feel You diggin’ all the roots up
I feel Ya healin’ all my wounds up
All I can say is hallelujah
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You madе me new
The еnemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
Suddenly all the shame is gone
I thought I was too broken, now I see
You were breaking new ground inside of me
Standing in Your presence, Lord
I can feel You diggin’ all my roots up
I feel Ya healin’ all my wounds up
All I can say is hallelujah
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You made me new
Oh, the enemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
On the cross, in a grave
With a stone, rolled away
All my debt, it was paid
Look what You’ve done
In my heart, in my mind
In my soul, in my life
With my hands lifted high, I’m singing
Look what You’ve done, look what You’ve done in me
You spoke Your truth into the lies I let my heart believe
Look at me now, look how You made me new
Oh, the enemy did everything that he could do
Oh, but look what You’ve done
On the cross, in a grave
With a stone, rolled away
All my debt, it was paid
Look what You’ve done
In my heart, in my mind
In my soul, in my life
With my hands lifted high, I’m singing
Look what You’ve done*
Photo Credit: Daily Bible Verse
Photo Credit: Heartlight
Photo Credit: Heartlight
