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5 Friday Faves – Housing the Homeless, Christmas Cookies, Sunrises in Winter, Healing from Trauma, and a Christmas Cactus

December 18, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

This Friday came in so fast. I wish the time would slow down some…so much to savor and celebrate. Even those painful realities of life need time to process and make good decisions about…time… We grab hold of the minutes and squeeze the good out of them before they scatter. This is one of the reasons I write…I write to remember… all the good…and the hard… to take nothing for granted.

1. Housing the Homeless – The journey to housing for our homeless neighbors is complicated. Some we see at intersections in our cities, with their cardboard signs, have made a life, of sorts, on the streets. I have no idea how they survive winter. Others are freshly homeless, living in hotels, until they can’t anymore. Homelessness doesn’t come with its own guide of how to regain normalcy…the homeless need a compass. Thankfully, there are agencies who help these neighbors of ours, and help us learn how to help better. In our city, two agencies I want to highlight are Caritas and Hilliard House (or Housing Families First). Find out how you can get involved. “Homelessness isn’t a lifestyle, it’s an emergency.” – Caritas

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

2. Christmas Cookies – Once a year, plates of cookies come out that speak love like none other. Home-made, cut-out decorated Christmas cookies amaze me. I don’t bake them but am grateful for the hands that do. So much work in making the buttery cookie dough, cutting them out, baking and then decorating them. A frosted Christmas cookie and a cup of coffee in front of a fire…bliss.Photo Credit: Facebook.com – Cookies by Patricia Good Eckard

3. Sunrises in Winter – I don’t know what it is about sunrises in winter, but they catch me by surprise every morning. Rolling out of bed in the still cool darkness, pulling on socks, sliding into slippers, and making my way to bathroom, and then kitchen. Somewhere in the middle of that first cup of coffee, my eyes are drawn to the window…and then glory! The light of the morning sky… Maybe it’s because the trees are bare and we are able to catch the hues of light earlier, but I love winter sunrises best. They take the chill off and fill me with anticipation of the day. Joy…

4. Healing from Trauma – Recently I have been learning more about Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and wrote about a valuable resource here. Then, a friend told me about training she received last month in Amman, Jordan. It relates to caring for non-western peoples who have experienced severe trauma. The Trauma Healing Institute provides training in the US and internationally. “The Trauma Healing Institute at American Bible Society is equipping people, churches, and NGOs around the world to care for the more than one in seven people worldwide who suffer severe wounds of the heart and spirit in the aftermath of conflict, disaster or abuse.” I hope to sign up for this training in 2016. Watch the film Hope Rising to learn more.

5. Christmas Cactus – My mom-in-law is a master gardener. Her sunroom is its own botanical garden. She is always encouraging us to take some of her plants and we have two blooming Christmas cacti right now, because of her. My husband is our gardener (fortunately) or we would not have house plants. I love how these cacti, (or cactuses), “know” to bloom around the holidays (Thanksgiving or Christmas). From the plant family Schlumbergera, the Christmas cactus can be nurtured to bloom right on time. I am pretty sure Dave doesn’t follow a particular plan, but our plants are very forgiving…and are blooming just as they were meant to… Merry Christmas.

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Liz Wiseman’s Leadership Book on Multipliers and the Story of a Multiplier in Our Lives

December 10, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

For several years, we had the great privilege of living and working in Cairo, Egypt. My husband directed a Middle Eastern Studies program. I helped him oversee the comings and goings of bright, energetic 20-somethings. When the work, heat, or press of city life became too much, we would escape to the Sinai and the Red Sea. Usually the resort town of Ras Sudr was our quick get-away, where we could take a weekend just to clear our heads with blue skies and salty sea air.

This time, we went for a week to Dahab, on the far side of the Sinai.

Photo Credit: Egypttailormade.net

We were finishing our time in this director role and would take a short sabbatical in the US. We would then return to Egypt, this time for a regional consulting job, guiding the expansion of these study centers.

We were tired, and a consulting job was a dream, with the prospect of just giving a hand to other directors – not nearly the intenseness of being responsible for so many young people.

Driving through the desert of the Sinai, with the kids in the backseat, we got a phone call.

Whoever it was on the other end, (Dave hadn’t called him by name), the conversation, from my side, was warm and affectionate at first, and then serious. As they talked, visible goose bumps rose on Dave’s arms. Goose bumps on a hot deserty day in Egypt?! I knew no one had died from his side of the conversation, but something huge was clearly being introduced by the caller.

When the call ended, I got the details. Dave spoke quietly so the kids wouldn’t be distracted by a call that could change the course (and geography) of our lives. The person on the other end of the conversation was his dearest mentor – a man for whom he had the deepest respect, even love. On the phone call, he had asked Dave to consider not taking the job of consultant but to take a job with him where he would have even more leadership responsibility. Supervising many more than a couple of dozen 20-somethings in one city. This job would require him to provide leadership to about 100 people spread over 6 different countries AND we would have to move from our beloved Cairo.

Thus, the goose bumps.

Dave did walk away from the “easier” job of consultant to take on the much larger, scarier job his mentor asked of him. We did eventually break the news to our children that we would be moving away from Cairo to a whole new country of possibilities and friendships. It was a stretching move for us (more so than our original move to Cairo), and it was a job and situation we would never have aspired to…were it not for this mentor…this multiplier of leaders.

Liz Wiseman has written the most incredible book on leadership – Multipliers – How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter . Her book describes this mentor of my husband as if she knew him personally. Wiseman is the president of The Wiseman Group, a leadership research and development firm, headquartered in Silicon Valley, California.

Photo Credit: LiveIntentionally.org

I first heard her speak at the Global Leadership Summit this year. Her presentation centered on her more recent book Rookie Smarts. This engaging young woman clearly has had multipliers in her own life and has obviously learned from some diminishers as well.

On the inside cover of Wiseman’s book Multipliers, she defines the terms “Diminishers” and “Multipliers”:

“The first type drain intelligence, energy, and capability from the ones around them and always need to be the smartest ones in the room. These are idea killers, the energy sappers, the diminishers of talent and commitment. On the other side of the spectrum are leaders who use their intelligence to amplify the smarts and capabilities of the people around them…These are the leaders who inspire employees to stretch themselves to deliver results that surpass expectations.” – Liz Wiseman

Have you ever been in a job where you felt your wisdom, understanding, experience were being drained right out of you? As if you were getting stupider and stupider? That can happen…or at least the sense of it happening is so strong it might as well be real. Some of this we must own ourselves, and some of it is owned by our leaders.

[Sidebar – It’s not like Diminishers are evil people. Possibly, their focus is so tuned to the endgame that people and processes get lost in the pursuit. I believe whenever they have an “aha!” moment, maybe through the multipliers in their own lives, they could change their habits and disciplines.]

This mentor of Dave’s was/is a Multiplier. For much of Dave’s professional life, this man has “popped in” and pressed my husband to reach farther than he might have in his career.

I want to be this sort of leader myself – this one who inspires confidence in others, who sees the possibilities, who risks by giving over control to another, who stirs thinking and enlarges the lives of those in his/her circle of influence…a circle that’s widely inclusive.

Being a leader is a humbling, stretching experience and, for the sake of those under your watch in the workplace, you want to offer the best leadership you can. We can all fall into habits over time that diminish others. Forging disciplines that keep us from doing so is wisdom. Note them from Liz Wiseman’s book:

Wiseman also talks about leaders as change agents – do we reserve the right to make the final decision every time or do we wrestle through decisions with those most affected by them? The latter can definitely be more messy but is also more effective and honoring.

“Multipliers invoke each person’s unique intelligence and create an atmosphere of genius—innovation, productive effort, and collective intelligence…He’ll outstretch all your capabilities to make it happen. He is highly demanding, but you feel great. You know you are signing up for something that will challenge you on a daily basis for many years to come. You will challenge yourself and all your capabilities…Exhilarating, exhausting, challenging, gratifying. He’s a big source of energy. He is a source of power and a tail-wind for what we do.” – Liz Wiseman

Thank you, Liz Wiseman. You are a wise woman (I’m sure you get this all the time…couldn’t resist). Thank you, to that unnamed mentor multiplier in my husband’s life…and to all those multipliers in my life’s journey.

Read Wiseman’s book. I’d love to hear your stories of multipliers in your life…and any diminishers that you learned from but (hopefully) were not diminished in the season you were together…maybe you became a multiplier in that person’s life. Journey strong, Friends.

Multipliers – How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter by Liz Wiseman with Greg McKeown

YouTube Video – Leaders as Multipliers with Liz Wiseman

YouTube Video – Liz Wiseman – The Multiplier Effect 0

Multipliers Quotes from GoodReads

2013 Global Leadership Summit Session 3a: Liz Wiseman

Brian Dodd – 4 Leadership Lessons From Mt. rainier and the Inc. 500 Fastest Growing Business List – another example of a Multiplier

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The Other Side of Organizational Downsizing – What Survivors and Their Managers Can Do Going Forward

December 7, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

Recently, a young friend of mine told me about an abrupt change in his company. He went in one morning to the usual – team meeting, work routine, cubicle life. Then in the early afternoon, without any prior notice or indication, the head of the company walked around the building with envelopes. By the end of the day, in this small tech support company, one-third of the employees had packed up and left the building.

Surprise lay-offs are the hardest to bear, but any kind of downsizing, no matter how necessary, is stressful and disorienting. When crisis precipitating a downsizing occurs, organizational leaders are wise to put together a transition team right away.

For those who were laid-off or who took the separation package in a carefully orchestrated downsizing, there is colossal adjustment. Hopefully, they will get the support they need to get that next job or to thrive in retirement.

For those who remain with the company, their adjustment can be great as well. Do an internet search for “surviving downsizing” and you will find hundreds of articles, and even several books on the subject.

Employees who survive the downsizing (whether because of their age, capabilities, or department) will still go through a period of post-traumatic stress. On that Monday, for instance, after their colleagues leave, they must re-orient to a new normal.

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

Michael Sanders, author of 7 Critical Mistakes Employees Make in a Downsizing, wrote an empowering Linkedin article on how to take charge of one’s own survivors’ syndrome and move forward. First Sanders defines the elements of “sickness”; elements which include guilt, mistrust, sadness, anxiety, and disagreeability. Then he moves right to ten “power moves” that employees can make for a healthier, more substantive work situation. I list these, but don’t miss, in the article, what he says further on each.

Practice instant alignment re-centering.
Play by the new rules.
Speed up.
Practice intensive task management.
Fall in love with your work, again.
Take on new assignments.
Expand your business affiliations.
Continue your education.
Become your own hero.
Keep in touch with laid-off [or “downsized”] work friends.

Some of Sanders’ action items may seem more than you can handle as you adjust yourself to a work life very different than the previous one. His bottom line is to refuse to be a victim. Whether your organization is proactive in retaining and retraining you, you can champion your own professional needs and career. It will benefit you and either your current employer or your next one.

Stress specialist Morton C. Orman, M.D. also wrote a prescriptive piece entitled 18 Ways to Survive Your Company’s Reorganization, Takeover, Downsizing, or Other Major Change. Below are 8 of the points I believe are most helpful (again refer to his article for the rest of his wisdom).

Be prepared for [more] change.
Watch out for unrealistic expectations.
Get creative.
Expand your value to the company.
Celebrate your accomplishments.
Seek appropriate compensation or “risk share” arrangements.
Improve lines of communication.
Become more efficient.

Again, these may seem obvious, on one hand, and annoyingly intrusive as well. You’re grieving the beloved colleague who was laid-off or that great boss who retired. In the process of that grief which may be with you for some time, you still have that job to do…with probably more responsibility added. Sadness and anxiety tend to affect our performance negatively. That’s why it’s imperative to set in place processes you may not have needed before but need now to recover and embrace what’s ahead.

Hopefully you have leaders and managers who are already astutely moving the company forward…with you in mind, as well as the product/services. If not, you can’t risk waiting. Do your reading, evaluate your course of action, build your new work community, and demonstrate to yourself and those around you…you are a survivor! In the best sense of the word.

The Downsizing Jungle: 10 Power Moves by Mike Sanders

The Effects of Downsizing on Survivors: a Meta-analysis – Dissertation of Dr. Gladys West; Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, 2000 – an excellent presentation of the issues of organizational commitment, job satisfaction, turnover intention, role conflict, job involvement, supervisor support, procedural and distributive fairness. [scholarly piece but worth wading through.]

Slideshare – Downsizing Best Practices – Survivors are Key – Don’t Neglect Them – Carol Beatty

Survivor Employees: What You Need to Know – description of 6 common profiles of employees dealing with “layoff survivor syndrome”

After Layoffs, Help Survivors Be More Effective – excellent article on what’s at stake for survivors of layoff and how, from a management standpoint, to turn things around.

18 Ways To Survive Your Company’s Reorganization, Takeover, Downsizing, or Other Major Change

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

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Monday Morning Moment – Relational Wisdom – the Way It Could Be – at Work & Home

November 23, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

Monday morning emails can be treacherous… This morning when I woke, my husband told me he’d just heard from a valued colleague that he had secured another job. Dave was expecting this because of previous communications they’ve had with each other. Through an organizational re-structuring, there are many whose jobs are changing. This email was good news because this person will be a tremendous addition to any team – good news and sad news. We will miss this man on our team but we celebrate a great job match.

Then another email came in. It was from the person who will be his new supervisor. It was full of respect and regard – a courtesy email that is not necessarily company culture these days but an email that shows understanding and empathy. When change comes, even good change, there is still that adjustment, that grieving of the good that was. Those two emails speak volume about emotional intelligence or relational wisdom…and that’s something we always need in the workplace…and at home.

The holidays have a particular call for wisdom to soften difficult expectations, disarm family conflicts, and personalize interactions to fit the needs of those nearest to us.

Photo Credit: rw360.org

One very simple way we can tune into holiday celebrations is to deal with our own stuff. Keeping our minds on the goodness of the holidays helps. It’s easy to find daily Advent readings for the month of December…depending on your favorite author or blogger, they’ve probably written some.

Related to both our work and home relationships, Ken Sande, founder of Relational Wisdom 360, has given us a great gift, and we don’t have to wait another day for it. He has written 33 Ways to Enjoy Highly Relational Holidays. A fast-read blog a day on relational wisdom, starting on November 23 to take you right through to December 25.

I attended Dr. Sande’s Peacemaker course years ago during a challenging work season, and what I learned then continues to be a tremendous help to me today. If your work or family situation is somewhat intimidating, don’t despair. There are those in our lives (Ken Sande is one) who will come alongside and help/mentor us, if we’re willing to take care of our own hearts and minds.Photo Credit: coldspringcenter.org

As Thanksgiving approaches and Christmas not far behind, I hope you can look forward to happily memorable times together with family. As far as work goes, just like with the emails above, we can do our part to make our workplace a kind and honoring experience – our part (not someone else’s) in making it the way it could be…the way it should be…Photo Credit: GoodWorksBracelet.com

What helps you thrive in stressful situations at work? What has made a difference in bringing peace and joy to your holiday celebrations? Please comment and share with those searching for that wisdom.

Surviving Christmas – Advent Devotions for the Hard and Holy Holidays – Anne Marie Miller – free ebook

Advent Devotional Readings Online by Lifeway

Good News of Great Joy by John Piper

Unwrapping the Greatest Gift: a Family Celebration of Christmas by Ann Voskamp

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Monday Morning Moment – Marking Lives Well-Lived, Work Well Done

November 2, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Lilias Trotter, Parables of the Cross

There are no ordinary days, nor are there ordinary lives. This morning, Monday, November 2, is a day I want to mark as an opportunity to celebrate extraordinary lives. Yet, how is that even possible? People who live for grand causes and for God Himself don’t look for celebrations or accolades. What do we do then when we want to stand in ovation and clap them back out onto the stage for an encore?

Celebrating retiring colleagues is best done by those who know them well – who have watched them through the most difficult times, seen them push through seemingly insurmountable circumstances, resonated with their joy in the simplest triumphs.

How do we mark lives well-lived and work well-done? I don’t have that answer yet…except to express personal gratitude and to live and work in the shadow of these who went before…to steward well their example.

For today, I will enter into that process of puzzling over how properly to celebrate the lives and work of those “finishers” who have done well to fix their eyes on the goal…right through. It doesn’t feel enough, but for today, I join a great cloud of witnesses, so grateful to see how it is to finish well.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1-2

As I sort this all out, I would be grateful for any stories you have of celebrating work well done and lives well lived. Following are some quotes of those who finished strong or who, living still, are living well.

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously – no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.” – C. S. Lewis

“The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.” – Jonas Salk*

“When we are at the worst times of our lives, when we are battling with something, or struggles, whatever it may be, when we are at our highest point as well, when things are going really well, we want somebody to comfort us and be there for us and to say, ‘Well done.’ That’s Jesus!” – Russell Wilson*

“Well done is better than well said.” – Benjamin Franklin*

“The pinnacle of the fulfillment I can ever experience for my spirit and soul is to hear from the Lord, when I see Him face to face, ‘Well done my good and faithful servant.'” – Nick Vujicic*

The Apostle Paul, in an encounter with Jesus, was completely transformed from a life of murderous, religious zeal to a life of complete surrender to God (something altogether different). He speaks of living life, and finishing well – likened to fighting a good fight or running a race to the finish.

“But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” – Acts 20:24

“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.” – 2 Timothy 4:6-8

2015 Nov - Blog - Lilias Trotter - Well Done 002

Photo Credit: Lilias Trotter, Parables of the Cross

For us all…there is still a race to be run.

“My legacy doesn’t matter. It isn’t important that I be remembered. It’s important that when I stand before the Lord, He says, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’. I want to finish strong.” – James Dobson*

“It is finished.” – Jesus, from the cross (John 19:30)

*Well Done Quotes – Brainy Quote

What Was Finished?

Parables of the Cross by I. Lilias Trotter

Blog - Well Done - Parables of the Cross - Lilias Trotter

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Monday Morning Moment – On Silos and Tribalism – Taking “Us” and “Them” to a Better “We”

October 19, 2015 admindeb 5 Comments

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

“Silos”, as a workplace term, is such a fitting description for what we do to distinguish ourselves from each other. It means compartmentalization based on specialization. Now the term “silos” is less used, replaced by the cooler term “tribes”. Unfortunately, because the workplace woes of old are still in operation, “tribes” have deteriorated into “tribalism” or…[Hello] “silos”.

I began thinking about this again this weekend when a retweet came up in my Twitter feed featuring Gianpiero Petriglieri. So much organizational resource – money and time – is spent on specialization and grooming leaders. It’s a pity when the outcome actually draws down the organization ( to small pockets of “tribal buddies”) instead of honing expertise and relationships across departments, across disciplines.

What if we could break down silos, and reorient and reenergize tribes? What if workplace tribes incorporated a grand plan that nurtured inclusion – creating “a rising tide that lifts all boats” (Adam Grant)?

Years ago, when I was a young instructor at Yale University, I experienced workplace silos. There were bottlenecks through which I had to maneuver, until I figured out how to win those beyond the bottlenecks. Since then silos have been a part of life for me, as I’m sure they are for us all. Oncology nursing had a different prestige than critical care nursing. Was one better than the other? No.

Working in the Middle East had its own set of challenges different from working in Europe. Does that mean one elicits greater respect or benefits than another? Of course not. Right? Communication between those in the field and those in the home office can also become very much an “us” and “them” transaction. Even within the home office, one department may seem more the “flavor of the month” than another. What are your silo/tribe challenges?

Brilliant business writers can give us great tools and insight with breaking down silos (see fast reads in the links below). If you are anticipating a major change in your organization (buy-out, down-sizing, shift in focus/product line), it makes for a perfect storm to deal with silos. Of course, if management across the organization leads out with a unifying goal (a “battle-cry”), the possibility for success is heightened. I don’t think, however, that this is the only hope for success.

What if one department, a single silo or tribe, decided to tackle the problem? What would that look like? From my work experience and from learning from great leaders, both celebrity and colleague, here’s a bare-bones minimum how-to-get-started list:

What is your common goal as an organization? What is the clear unified rallying cry around which you can collaborate?
What are your own silo biases? Do you communicate that you think your department, location, specialization should have some sort of favor? Deal with that. It’s the first barrier that has to come down.
If trust has been disrupted or destroyed, who can you partner with to begin to rebuild trust? Name them, and begin the process (if you pray, you might begin praying for their success as a department/division – make it NOT about you).
What objectives can you establish as a department to guide you in staying focused on high-value collaboration across-specialties?
How will you measure the course of your action toward becoming a non-silo, less tribal department? Set a time. 6 months or across whatever acute crisis you see coming. Be as intentional and broad-reaching as you are able, given your own workload. Remember that silos alter the math in a workplace – 1 + 1 + 1 = 2 when teams aren’t sharing information and working at cross-hairs. We can make the math work better, as we work, against the flow, toward creative collaboration.

My professional life has had various silo experiences, from teaching in an Ivy League university to working on a highly innovative team (recklessly creating its own brilliant unintentional silo, later with personal regret). Silos and workplace tribes never get us where we want to go collectively. Bring ’em down.

I would love to hear about your work experiences…any struggles, breakthroughs, or victories in this area of breaking down silos and building a culture of “Yes, WE can…together.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Silos, Politics and Turf Wars – A Leadership Fable about Destroying the Barriers that Turn Colleagues into Competitors

Silos and Tribes – Think Different

http://www.slideshare.net/JDDillon/breaking-down-silos-how-social-learning-changed-everything-for-kaplan-atdtk

17 Strategies for Improving Collaboration – from the Freiberg’s – Do Not Miss This One.

How to Build Trust and Fight Tribalism to Stimulate Innovation

Breaking Bad – Squash Silos & Tribalism – Breakthrough Personal Branding

Leadership Axioms: Powerful Leadership Proverbs by Bill Hybels

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Love Your Neighbor – Foster Parenting & Adoption – Every Child in a Safe and Loving Home

October 6, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: The Forgotten Initiative

“I’m naive. I will admit it. Before I became a social worker I thought every kid had a birthday party. I thought every kid had someone cheering them on in the bleachers. I thought every kid was taken care of when he or she was sick. I thought every kid was read to at night before bedtime. I thought every kid lived in a safe environment. Now? Now I know that thousands of kids live in fear. Thousands of kids struggle with low self-esteem. Thousands of kids are abused. Thousands of kids witness domestic violence. Thousands of kids are in need of a family. Who will care for the orphans?” – a friend who works in foster care

“Who will care for the orphans?”

Did you know that in your city, at the end of any day, there are children needing placement in a safe home? Maybe just for one night, or maybe long-term. Is it possible that your home is just the place for that infant to begin to experience love or for healing to begin for that child or teenager?

There are two types of foster care – traditional and therapeutic. You can learn all you need to know about traditional foster care by going to the Department of Social Services website of your city or state. Foster parents are in high demand and these agencies make it as easy as possible for you to learn what you need to know to become that parent.

Therapeutic foster care involves finding homes and parents for children who have special needs – either medical, emotional, or behavioral issues. These are children who may have suffered violence or who have endured terrible losses. These could be pregnant teens or runaways. These are children that need love the same as any others. Therapeutic foster care involves many more support people than just the foster parents and case workers. If you sense that you could reach out to such children who need more “hands on” care, there are agencies who need parents like you.

Photo Credit: Childrensaidsociety.org

Foster children may need to be placed in a home for short-term or long-term stays, but they may also need emergency placement with very little notice to the foster parents. Their ages and situations vary widely. These kids need love, care and a safe place to call home.

Photo Credit: Ashleyannphotography.com

3 goals of foster care are:

Reunification with the parents – this can happen when the parents of the foster child comply with whatever stipulations are applied by the Department of Social Services.
Placement of child with someone in the extended family (biological relatives) – Again, this is approved by DSS, when the home/family situation is such that the child would be safely and therapeutically returned to a family member.
Adoption or Permanent Foster Care – adoption of a teen is rare. Teens in foster care actually “age out” at 18y/o or when he or she finishes high school. Younger children can be adopted when it’s clear that a return to their biological parents or family won’t be happening. [See profiles here of children and teens available for adoption right now.]

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

Is this something we could do as empty-nesters? Early in our marriage, we cared for a teenaged girl from our church for several weeks. She was estranged from her parents and both she and her parents needed time to heal. Just those few weeks, her with us, gave them all time to decompress. The problems didn’t vanish but the family was emotionally prepared to try again with each other. I will never forget that experience and realized then how valuable it is for families in crisis to know they are not alone. It was an experience that changed us, too, and created a life-long bond with us, both with the parents and their daughter.

The church has a mandate from God to care for the fatherless.

“If I have withheld anything that the poor desired,
or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail, or have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless has not eaten of it (for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother’s womb I guided the widow)…then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket.” – Job 31:16-18, 22

Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow. – Isaiah 1:17

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. – James 1:27

Chris Campbell, a social worker in Tulsa, Oklahoma, is the executive director of an initiative called 111 Tulsa. He and his team are working in the community and with the churches of Tulsa (across denominations) to raise up foster parents across the city – such that every child can have a safe and loving home for as long as he or she needs it. This could be an emergency placement of a few hours, or for a short time, or for long-term (maybe even leading to adoption).

We could do this in our own city.

Where do we start? We pray. Then we call one of these agencies and ask how we can help. Even if it’s just taking the foster parenting classes, so we’ll be prepared such God lead in this way. We can also help with non-funded needs the children might have – a birthday present, baby supplies for that pregnant teen, and even prom expenses. Then we get our churches involved.

There are many ways that we can love these neighbors – these kids in crisis. The most critical need is for foster parents. We could be those parents. I would love to hear your story. Let’s do what we can for these children to have their own story of love and family.

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

Drew and Nancy McDowell – Blessed with Children – 41 Times

Adoption: a Kaleidoscope Reflecting Light – a Tennessee Family’s Journey Through Infertility and Adoption

ADOPTION: Couple Promotes Adoption in Words & Deed

The Forgotten Initiative

A Turning Point

111 Tulsa – 1 Church, 1 Family, 1 Purpose

Foster Care – Becoming a Foster Parent – Virginia Department of Social Services

Virginia Department of Social Services

First Home Care – Therapeutic Foster Care

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Monday Morning Moment – You Have Three Choices – in Work and Life

October 5, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Photo Credit: Nourish the Dream – Facebook.com

Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. – Colossians 3:22-24

Hopefully, you’re not feeling like a slave this Monday morning. You have choices. Even Paul, in writing to the Colossian church, spoke to those believers, enslaved at that time, as persons with choices.

My Monday mornings these days have been filled with thoughts and prayers for friends working in difficult and unusual circumstances – uncertain futures, struggling to stay on course, grappling with coming change. If you’re not in such a challenge, be glad and learn from those who are. How thankful I am for those in my life who shine as “stars in the universe” (Philippians 2:14-16).

Every single day, we have choices of how we deal with our work and our co-workers…especially in the press of uncertainty and change.

1. We could give up. What a temptation this is. When we are faced with what seems like a waning future (dwindling opportunities, more work with less workers, damaged trust), it is easy actually to give up. We clock in and do what’s necessary. Stay below the radar. Spend breaks researching other jobs. Keep doing what we’ve been doing with no vision for the future. This is an easy default…don’t make it yours. You’re better than that.

2. We could give in. – This is the darker choice. This is when we allow bitterness to take root in our hearts and color our attitudes and work. Giving in is when our performance actually deteriorates because we figure who cares anyway. Giving in is when we say the ugly things we’ve been thinking about our situation. Giving in is when we treat colleagues who were once friends as competitors, as threats to our position rather than supporters. Giving in does no one any favors and actually adds to the burden we already feel in what may be a very complicated situation already. Giving in is never where we want to go.Photo Credit: Nourish the Dream Facebook.com

3. We could give it all we’ve got. Here’s where huge faith and great character come in. It’s so easy to say, “Keep doing what you’re doing”, “Stay in the game.”, “Trust God”. Don’t get me wrong; these encouragements are wise and true…it’s when we are struggling with the muck and mire of actually putting feet to faith in a situation that seems wrong. The difficulty at work may not even be wrong; it may be completely necessary…It’s when the force of the impact lands squarely on you that these choices become so real. Still, we have choices. It’s not the workplace that forces these choices on us. They are always ours. Every. Single. Workday.

If I can speak into my friends’ struggle, please stay on the course you’ve been on – such a way that you continue to build/leave a legacy of glory – to God and to the work He’s given us to do. One friend of ours in the thick of a stressful, stressful work situation, told another friend of mine, “Don’t lose heart”. When you hear that kind of encouragement from someone determined to keep his own focus on what matters it resonates with such verity you want to do nothing less. So, let’s never lose heart and let’s do the work of trusting God in our situations. It’s so much better than the consequences of the other choices. So much better.Photo Credit: Nourish the Dream Facebook.com

After all, it’s only Monday morning. Who knows what the rest of the week will bring? For my friends who are in complicated work situations, having to drag yourselves out of a ditch each day to do a good job, I want to say how thankful I am to know you. How honored to see the fruit of your work. How joyful that our paths have crossed in the workplace. How much more trusting I am of God myself, because of you.

As our friend said, please “don’t lose heart”.

For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart…For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison. – 2 Corinthians 4:15-17

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. – Galatians 6:9-10

Photo Credit: Nourish the Dream, Facebook.com

Nourish the Dream – Your Headquarters for Biblical Business Success – Facebook page – David G. Johnson

13 Bible Verses to Overcome Disappointment

Character, Courage, Critical Thinking, fresh start, God, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Redeeming & Restoring, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transitions, Walk with God, work, Workplace or Marketplace

A Lesson in Humility – Downsizing – A Humbling Work Experience and What God Can Do With It

September 20, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

A company downsizing can be a humbling experience for everyone – for those losing their jobs and for those in leadership with no other way forward. For all the employees, there will be a mix of reactions. Downsizing can be a humiliating experience…unless we allow it to be simply humbling.

God sees downsizing differently than we may, when going through one. In the Bible, there’s a fascinating account (Judges 6-7) of His gathering an army to fight the Midianites, enemies of Israel. He worked through the leadership of a man named Gideon who, early on, wasn’t at all sure of himself leading such an operation. As Gideon sought direction from God, he was able to rally an army of 32,000 men.

God wanted Gideon to see His own glory in fighting for His people. This army of 1000s was too big. Through a couple of strategic downsizings, Gideon was left with an army of 300 and a God who would lead them in battle for His name’s sake. They would see the Midianites trounced in such a curious way that only God could have brought about their defeat.

In the story above, Gideon must have felt satisfied…even proud…at the size of the army he was preparing to lead. The timidity he originally felt melted away with the men who volunteered to fight for him. He was ready to go up against the Midianites.

God had another plan.

He brought the number of soldiers down to such a low count that Gideon no longer had cause to be proud of the possibilities of victory. He was humbled by God’s actions, and he became all the more able to lead, as He followed every detail of God’s strategy.

Humility is having a right, or true, understanding of who God is, and who we are in relationship to Him and each other.

When we are humbled, either by a downsizing in our jobs, or a hit to our status, position, or reputation, we can take heart, in what God can do in that. When He works to move each of us to a such challenging place, we discover the contents of our own hearts. We discover the pride…or whatever else has lodged itself against Him (fear, entitlement, bitterness). Then we either choose to rail against our situation or decide to trust Him with the outcome.

We have an example of that in the humble obedience of Christ:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name. – Philippians 2:5-9

In a company downsizing, or any other hard place, our temptation may tend toward pride and entitlement. As we allow God to humble us through that hard place, then He will raise us up, as He did Gideon, in victory. It’s in trusting Him that we’ll find that victory.

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

Gideon’s Incredible Shrinking Army (Judges 6:33-7:15a)

Gideon Defeats the Midianites – Godsstory.org

The Power of Humility – Slideshare

What It Means to Be Humble and 6 Ways You Can Grow In Humility

How to Fight the Sin of Pride, Especially When You Are Praised – Ten Things I Do – John Piper

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Looking for a Job…or the Next Job? – 4 Ideas to Consider

September 14, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

When you need a job, or a new job, you are in a tender place. I will treat that place with honor. You have gifts, experience, and workplace wisdom that are needed somewhere…so please don’t despair. Any bitterness that could be taking root in your heart will only get in your way. You have choices, more than you think. You have probably had more advice than you can even follow, so I don’t want to burden you with another load of it. Just 4 ideas.

Read an encouraging and practical book. For me, that book is Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Acuff gives sound counsel, mixed with fun stories, about how to get on with your life in the marketplace. In fact, I wrote 5 blogs on his book (see links below). I leave out the stories, but his “next steps” are extremely helpful and sometimes surprisingly counter-intuitive. He boosts the reader’s confidence in a genuine way and doing the exercises in his book can make a huge difference in job hunting. So much affirmation…real affirmation.
Network with lots of people. It’s not just about “who you know”. It’s also about “who knows you”. Sometimes we don’t even recognize our own strengths (OR weaknesses). Trusted friends or even respected acquaintances can give you much-needed food for thought and action. Maybe you don’t even know what to do, job-wise – your future is wide open but looks (to you) very dark. Input from others who care about you or who are caring, in general, can help you focus. You may not have even considered what they may be telling you – either about your own hireability or the job market itself. Listen and learn. P.S. Don’t go to them for a job; go to them for wisdom about getting a job.
Try something completely new. The film The Intern with Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway speaks to this something new. A 70-year-old takes an internship in a cool successful company. Funny and winsome and could be one of us, right? Then I have also been hearing a lot lately about advanced manufacturing and the need for apprentices in this field. You may have a “white collar” education that could be more finely tuned with some “blue collar” experience. Those terms may be antiquated with the blurring of boundaries in our more technology-rich manufacturing companies. You could be that intern or apprentice.

4. Consider working with a head-hunter or job placement agency. In a conference recently, I heard Michael Thompson, founder and CEO of Turas Group, speak to a group of job-seekers. His approach was warm and positive. In that half-hour session, he gave strong individualized counsel to each person, based on what information they had already sent them. Counsel that helped everyone in the room really, but also individualized to each person’s needs. He also asks really good questions which is incredibly helpful for clarification – when you really don’t know what to do next.

One thing Thompson expressed was the importance of doing lots of interviews. His counsel included: a) prepare and do research to know your interviewers; b) arrive early; c) have your 60 second pitch down; d) – smile a lot, have energy, be excited and maintain eye contact; e) answer directly and concisely; and finally f) if you don’t know the answer to a question, share that, but then offer what you would do (especially if you’ve never done that something needed). Thompson also encouraged the participants to join LinkedIn (a global online professional network).

Whether you’re just out of college or you find yourself in the throes of a company downsizing, you know something of what you offer any employer. Allow these 4 ideas to fill in some of the holes you can’t see that would make job hunting a less painful and more productive endeavor.

As to dealing with the disappointment of not finding a job right out of school, or the loss of satisfying work you loved, please don’t let that define you. You have choices…maybe very different that you first imagined, but you have them. Make those lists of strengths and people of influence in your life as Jon Acuff advises; talk (well, listen more) to friends and advocates; and stay open to a real positive turn in your career. Finally, I personally would add “Pray” to all this. Prayer will help you to not panic or grow bitter when your emotional energy would better serve your pursuit of that job – the one you can’t imagine right now. Remember who you are and Whose you are.

Any comments on what has helped you or what is sustaining you in your job hunt? Please share below.

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

Do Over – Jon Acuff on Work Relationships – Notes (Part 2 of Do Over Series)

10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

Turas Group – Michael Thompson, CEO – Michael@turasgroup.com – or connect via LinkedIn

Tips for a Successful Job Search – Tulane University