Category Archives: Habits

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Monday Morning Moment – People You Love Working With – and Becoming One of Them

November 14, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: AskMen

It’s Monday morning and whatever you’re facing today, these folks help to bring down your stress and lighten your load…just by being in your path. You can name them easily. They are the ones who make you laugh and see a different side to your situation. They are the ones who give you second thoughts when considering a job change. They are the ones who add value to you, not just as a colleague but as a real in-the-skin human being. These are the folks who can turn the course of your day with just a few minutes conversation…or even a wave from across the parking lot. It’s just that simple.Photo Credit: Mashable

For you guys in a dark place…and not one person comes to mind…maybe, it’s good to think back…to people in your past who helped set you on a positive course in your career…think of those people. If you are in a hole in your workplace right now, and many of us have been there at some point in our professional lives, could you rally and become one of these people who light up the place?

Photo Credit: Friendship.about

Here’s the challenge for today. I read an article by content strategist Scott Tousley recently which got me thinking about this. Is it possible to become “a rising tide that lifts all boats”? If you’ve read this far, you probably are already that kind of person. However, if somehow you struggle with keeping fellow employees in your view while dealing with large-scale problem-solving, you might want to consider a personal assessment and do-over. It’s never too late.

Scott Tousley – who has the longest eyelashes and most infectious smile – also gets to live and work in San Diego, California. Besides all that, he writes really insightful articles about the workplace. His article, The 9 Habits of Insanely Likable and Charismatic People, is so good, I’m not going to write my own commentary on this topic, because you HAVE to go read his article. It lists the 9 habits (included below) with real-life anecdotes, brilliant support data, and links to read more. So don’t miss it – lightning-fast read for us visual learners.

Tousley’s 9 habits of insanely likable & charismatic people:

1. They are empathetic

2. They are humble

3. They are vulnerable

4. They have a sense of humor

5. They are present

6. They are genuinely interested in EVERYONE

7. They avoid social narcissism

8. They are generous and altruistic

9. They reciprocate praise (and take blame)

Being likable and charismatic isn’t about being popular or climbing the career ladder as much as it’s about making a huge chunk of our lives just more enjoyable… We have choices here.

Photo Credit: The Question Academy; LinkedIn

If you had trouble calling to mind people you really like at work, then you’ve probably fallen down but you can get up! Don’t let that snarky, seemingly self-important coworker or boss mess with your head and steal your joy. Refocus to those in your workspace who you can’t help but be encouraged around them. Don’t miss them in that cloud of bother over the less likable ones around you. So what if they don’t seem to care about you or others at work. You be one who cares…and it can make a big difference. Take Scott Tousley’s excellent counsel in noting and affirming those likable ones around you…and set your course to return to being one yourself.

The 9 Habits of Insanely Likable and Charismatic People – Scott Tousley

4 Simple Questions That Will Instantly Make You More Likable at Work – Sara McCord

Being More Likable at Work – Cherie Burbach

10 Traits of Likeable People – Evan West

13 Habits of Exceptionally Likeable People – Travis Bradberry

How to Develop Your Charisma and Become More Likable – WATCH the Olivia Fox Cabane Video – Patrick Allan

How To Be More Likeable at Work – 10 Things To Do Today – G. L. Hoffman

YouTube Video – Amanda Gore – Stress Busters and Mood Management and Turning on the Joy Switch

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Monday Morning Moment – Uncommon Courtesy in the Workplace

October 17, 2016 admindeb 6 Comments

Photo Credit: iluvquotes

My mom raised me to be courteous…thoughtful towards all…civil in every circumstance…extending grace. Recently, I have become aware that my behavior in the company of others has become less courteous overall. Not in an intentional way, hopefully, but in a careless neglectful way. This is disconcerting because it makes me wonder how long has this been a part of my demeanor and deportment. Not necessarily with those closest to me…but with “the others” in life – the stranger, the coworker, the customer.

Photo Credit: Quote Addicts

Yesterday, not at work, I interrupted the conversation of three people. Not overtly, maybe, but it was a quiet drawing away the attention of one of them. Without even thinking, I was rude.

We don’t really mean to be rude or discourteous probably…but in the neglect of practicing courtesy…we can become “those people”…rude, disingenuous, self-serving people.

What does that look like in the workplace?

John Kyle describes rudeness at work:

“It can range from subtle things like eye-rolling to outrageous things like berating a colleague in a meeting.

Here are some common examples:

Gossiping and talking behind someone’s back.

Giving colleagues the silent treatment.

Interrupting someone when they are speaking.

Leaving trash and food containers in public areas like the office kitchen.

The work around – excluding colleagues from projects or meetings even though they should, by role and responsibilities, be included.

Being late for meetings or in other ways not respecting someone else’s time.

Speaking to people in a condescending way.

All of these examples of rudeness are forms of disrespect. A pastor-friend of mine once said that giving someone the silent treatment is the relational equivalent of saying, ‘I don’t respect and care enough about you to talk to you.'”

John Kyle, Chief Operating Officer for The Institute of Faith, Work, and Economics, also delivers some simple advice on how we might overcome rudeness at work. One of his tips is to make a practice of greeting people…just saying hello (using their name if you know it). How simple is that?! Yet, too often, we walk quickly by, head down, lost in our brilliant and important thoughts, or hanging on every word of that one we’re accompanying. Is it so hard to smile and nod our head at those we are passing by? Those who work with us, have the same vision, hope for the same outcomes, wrestling with the same struggles at work or home.

What Kyle reveals in his article on being courteous at work is that we expose our lack of regard for those around us by not taking the time for them…to say or do the small graces for each other that communicates that “there are no ordinary people”.

Photo Credit: Pinterest – WitandWisdomofCSLewis

His counsel echoes a book I recently read by John Maxwell – Intentional Living – Choosing a Life That Matters. Maxwell, like Kyle, talks about adding value to people…communicating that if we are not intentionally adding value to people then we show that we devalue them.

What do you think? It would be such a gift to have your comments on stories where you were treated with uncommon courtesy at work. Do you have examples of how such actions and attitudes are rewarded in your workplace? Do your bosses display this sort of worldview? Please share your stories…even the negative ones that might have given you pause about your own altered attitudes over the years.

As I described in the story earlier, this has certainly given me pause. I want to be a load-lifter at work. An encourager. A respecter of all persons…not just the ones who can help me get ahead with my career. It’s possible that I might have become a bit more curmudgeonly over time…and that’s not really the kind of coworker I want to be. My mom would be glad to see that I’m climbing out of this insufferable ditch – resolved anew to make a habit of uncommon courtesy.

Bringing Courtesy Back to the Workplace – Harvard Business Review – Ron Ashkenas

Why Is Common Courtesy Increasingly Uncommon at Work? Rudeness on the Rise – John Kyle

How do You Practice Common Courtesy at Work?

Workplace Etiquette – 4 Ways to Show Courtesy to Coworkers – Rachel Wagner

Uncommon Courtesy – Blog

Slideshare – Courtesy

How To Become a Curmudgeon – WikiHow – just for a chuckle!

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5 Friday Faves – Writing, Bumper Stickers & Lawn Signs, Old Men Grooving, Friends Who Wound, and a Clean House

September 30, 2016 admindeb 4 Comments

Friday again. Nice. This week has been an easy one – lighter work load, early morning walks with neighbors, visits with old friends, and marveling at sweet grand-babies. Life on the side of simple. There was one significant dip in our week when my dad had a bad night, but he has improved remarkably since then. Each day is different. Rejoicing in the good days.

Here are my favorite finds from this week. Please share any of yours in Comments below.

1) Writing – Always an outlet for me. I’ve written journals from childhood (called them diaries in those days). Photo Credit: LitHub

All my life, people who were privy to some of my writing, have told me, “You should write a book!” I don’t have the discipline, message,…or passion, maybe, to write a book…yet. One day. I started this blog for my children, during a time I was frightened that my memory was fading. So far, it seems to be the forgetfulness of my aging (not diseased) brain. Still, blog writing continues to be a joy…almost a mission. When life keeps me from writing, as in the last couple of weeks, I miss it…and then it’s hard to get back into the habit. Rebecca Solnit posted recently suggesting 10 Tips on How to Be a Writer. Her article is beautiful writing in itself. Here are two of her most encouraging observations:

“It’s not only time that gets the kid onward to more sophistication and skill, it’s effort and practice. Write bad stuff because the road to good writing is made out of words and not all of them are well-arranged words.” – Rebecca Solnit

“It starts with passion even before it starts with words. You want to read people who are wise, deep, wild, kind, committed, insightful, attentive; you want to be those people.” – Rebecca Solnit

2) Bumper Stickers & Lawn Signs – It’s a big year here in the US. In just a few days, we will, together, vote to elect the next Commander and Chief of our country. Usually by this time, lawns and cars are covered with signs and stickers that declare our preferences (or decry the prospect of “the other guy” becoming President). Photo Credit: YouTube

Bumper stickers abound broadcasting our various allegiances, in general. [Dave and I are not a bumper sticker people, but various ones make for fascinating distractions while stopped at traffic lights. Quite telling of the mixed bag of cultural values we have.]Photo Credit: Cafepress

Oddly this year, where we live, political loyalties are less obvious. Only occasional bumper stickers. Even fewer lawn signs. Not that they are relevant to election outcomes. Still, they were interesting predictors of where neighbors, co-workers, and random strangers stood politically on issues and candidates.

I wonder why there are so few this year. Are we less sure or even despairing at our options? Is it fear of displaying our colors? What do you think (without going all political in the comments)?

A postscript to this is the possibility that we now live in an age where “putting it all out there” on our vehicles, or in our yards, is not wisdom. Again, thoughts?

Photo Credit: PJMedia

3) Old Men Grooving – On a lighter note, I discovered this British dance group, of 40-60-somethings, who performed on Britain’s Got Talent . They call themselves Old Men Grooving, and you will get a sweet chuckle watching them dance together. Very impressive really. Reminds me of when I took a tap class, for the first time, as an adult. Never too late to dance! Find Old Men Grooving on YouTube.

4) Friends Who Wound – OK, this isn’t for everyone. Greg Morse recently wrote a piece for Desiring God on finding a friend to wound you. What seems counter-intuitive is actually something I welcome…and it’s not because I’m a glutton for punishment.

Photo Credit: SomeEcards

We see on social media, and say ourselves sometimes, that it’s right to just get rid of negative people, walk away from punishers or diminishers, and hang with people who only affirm us. This article talks about friends who love us enough to say the hard thing. I appreciate people who love me and take the risk to point out the huge potholes in my path or who reach into my life and help hoist me out of a ditch of my own poor choices. Here’s a quote from Morse’s article (he’s speaking to Christ-followers):

“The world cares nothing for our eternal good. Ungodly friends cheer us on toward destruction. They bequeath the kiss of flattery — the Dementor’s kiss. They coddle our egos, telling us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. Even the most genuine and moral among them sets sail away from God. Thus we need a crew of Christian companions — a body — to keep us from shipwreck. Finishing the race is not an individual endeavor, and eternity is at stake.

Praise God then for the faithful wounds of true friends who protect us from ultimate injury. They tell us plainly, “You’re flirting with destruction!” …Friends who ask us hard questions, who crush the whispering lizard on our shoulder, who are for our eternal soul above our momentary feelings — these are true friends.” – Greg Morse

There is a delicate balance here…and relationship matters. We’ve too often been put off balance by words unfitly spoken. What is your experience of friends who wound in a good way? For me, the best experiences I’ve had with this have turned into crossroads in life…isolated incidents where a friend helped me step back from a habit, a person, a life choice that could have destroyed me…and step toward a better way. Very thankful for the courage and love of such friends.

Photo Credit: Dgreetings

5) A Clean House – Who doesn’t like a clean house? When our first child was born, my mom-in-law and her sister came to help me for a week. They were wonderful! One day, while I was sitting all pampered with Baby Girl in my lap, Aunt Nancy asked me what I used to clean the baseboards. Baseboards? First of all, I wasn’t sure what baseboards were, and secondly, I was positive I didn’t clean them. Years later we lived in North Africa and had house helpers all through our time there- those years of my school-aged children. A time when the kids thought that she was their helper rather than mine?!

What a blessing to have the so-daily dust of the Sahara Desert washed away by someone…else! Now back in the US, I am faced with the dust of Richmond, Virginia…Alas. There are endless numbers of articles out there on how to clean house, and I’ve read several. Reading does not necessarily lead to cleaning unfortunately.Photo Credit: Quadcity

The article by Valerie Fraser Luesse entitled Do You Clean Like Mama? is my most recent helpful, funny, and non-judgmental read on this subject. It gives me hope again that if I keep at it, one day the house might be clean…for a glorious moment or two, at least.

Those are my faves…although I could also go on and on about the goodness of God, babies, and the sweet arrival of Fall…but those we’ll leave to another day. Have a restful and restorative weekend out there.

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Monday Morning Moment – Ultra-Productive People & What They Do Differently – 2 Infographics

September 12, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Silicon Valley Report

We all have exactly the same amount of time. At least in a day. Some of us have less time than others in our lives, probably, which makes using that valuable time wisely all the more important. However, that’s the false perception of time. The idea that, because we’re young, we have all the time in the world…so chill. Enjoy. Right? Just because we’re young, how we use our time will set habits that build a foundation for our life and work. Young or old, learning how to be consummately productive is a very good plan. When we do the work of learning to be “ultra productive” part of what we gain out of that is…more time. Definitely worth the work.

I’ve written on productivity other times (in particular, about “Chris Bailey’s life of productivity”). Using time and brain power wisely is important to me because I am well aware of how easy it is to squander both. When I discovered the two infographics below, they affirmed some of the changes I’ve already made in my life and other habits worthy of establishing.

Kevin Kruse in a Forbes article gives us results of his survey of 200 ultra-productive people. He asked each their secret of productivity. The infographic below lists out the 15 ideas gleaned from his study.Photo Credit: Online Learning Tips

Anything surprise you? I was surprised at getting rid of to-do lists by scheduling everything. The “say no to everything” idea can be agonizing to execute and also infuriating when you’re on the receiving end. Every idea in the list of 15 is doable and easy to develop as a habit. Worth a try, right?

Another infographic (from Dylan Roach and Jacquelyn Smith in Business Insider) highlights the morning habits of successful people. This also resonated with what I have discovered in the lives of influential and productive friends and colleagues. Photo Credit: Business Insider

I appreciate the ideas of this infographic…especially the ones on helping others and being grateful. Soft habits maybe? Not really. When the ideas above get hard-wired in us through habit formation and intentionality, our productivity ramps up and our definition of success may widen to a more shared experience in our life and work.

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5 Friday Faves – Raising Mentally Strong Kids, Syrian White Helmets, Combating Stress, Frosted Lemonade, & the Latest Video by my Favorite Guitarist

September 9, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

End of the week. Short and sweet. Here are my 5 favorite finds for this first week of September. Comment on your finds also, please.

1) Raising Mentally Strong Kids – We all want our children to grow up capable to thrive in the world as it is today. To have capacity to both work and lead in situations that might prove stressful, even immobilizing if they hadn’t developed certain strengths. For them to be mentally Strong, mentally tough, resilient – what do our children need from the adults in their lives.Photo Credit: DrGaryBrownTherapy

After the first article below popped up on my Facebook newsfeed, my interest was piqued and I went hunting for others. Below I’ve bullet-pointed some good and quick reads on how we can help our children develop mental strength and resilience.

How to Raise Mentally Strong Kids in a Stressful World – Sara Robinson
10 Tips for Raising Mentally Strong Kids – Amy Morin
10 Things Mentally Tough People Do – Advice From a Former Navy Seal – Bill Murphy
Why Our Kids Need to Learn Resilience Now More Than Ever – Dr. Gary Brown
8 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do in Raising Kids – Courtney @Shiraz in My Sippy Cup
Raising Mentally Strong Kids – India Parenting
Brave Moms Raise Brave Kids – Jen Hatmaker

I may write on this more another time, to make it easier on you. Raising mentally strong kids takes a lot of study anyway…here we go!Photo Credit: TracieCZabatol

2) White Helmets – Syrian Civil Defence – In an Al Jazeera article, Maria Jan writes of her interview with White Helmets founder, James Le Mesurier. White Helmets are first responders, volunteer rescuers, who brave fresh bombing sites. Knowing they could also die in a fresh bombing raid…but they still respond. They make up the Syrian Civil Defence. Organized in 2013, there are currently 2700 rescuers, both men and women. Le Mesurier says of them, “They had a choice to either become a refugee, pick up a gun, or pick up a stretcher.” They are committed to care for the victims, no matter what political or religious group. “Their job is to save people’s lives not to judge them.”

Photo Credit: The Good Story

There is a multi-agency, multi-national effort for the White Helmets to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Heroes. Good news in a sea of bad.Photo Credit: Al Jazeera

3) Combating Stress – Since my cancer surgery earlier this summer, I’ve become a student of how to live healthy. Still a student…not an expert nor practitioner, necessarily. While on a trip to the beach recently, I was reading two books simultaneously. Radical Remission: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds by Kelly A. Turner Ph.D. describes “9 key factors that can make a real difference”. I am not recommending this book necessarily because it features so many traditional and non-traditional practices, it’s overwhelming really. The strength of the book, however, is the whole mindset or perspective of taking charge of your health. I appreciated that. A friend of mine calls it a survivorship plan. The stories of those who are living “against all odds” are thrilling. Thinking about staying well and what I may include in practicing wellness have already brought down a large measure of stress in my life. The other book I’m reading is The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. This is focused on the battles we all find ourselves in and how Christ-followers especially can deal with them. Taken from the Scripture Ephesians 6:10-19, the book goes in-depth on how we can walk in what is true and not in the shadows of fear, worry, and the “what seems true”.

4) Frosted Lemonade – You know on those hot, hot days, and you have lots of errands where you are in and out of the car, you could really use some lovely cold beverage, right? Sweet tea might be one of those go’to’s. For me, yesterday, it was the frosted lemonade with diet lemonade) at Chick-fil-A. I was shocked to find it is on the Dessert menu (ordering it with diet instead of their regular lemonade at least takes it down to 240 calories for a small). It is so refreshing. Even better (can’t believe I’m saying this) than the frosted orange from The Varsity. If you have neither of these options where you live, what’s your go-to cold beverage (while driving)?

Photo Credit: Pinterest; Chick-fil-A

5) Latest Video by my Favorite Guitarist – Nathan Mills posted a new video this week. Those of you who follow him (or just me) know that he is a classical guitarist who writes and performs arrangements of themes from movies, TV shows, and video games. I have no idea what the game World of Warcraft is, but his arrangement of the Neal Acree’s Anduin Theme follows. Just lovely.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Even composer Neal Acree thought so…and we agree with him, right?

Photo Credit: Twitter

Have a low-stress, safe, and sweet weekend! Thanks for stopping by.

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Monday Morning Moment – Praying For Your Spouse [or Fill-in-the-Blank] in the Workplace

August 29, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: The Life

Sometimes really crucial opportunities pass us by…responsibilities, too, fall off our plates. We get busy…distracted. We choose the urgent without thinking. The urgent over the ultimately important.

This time, one year ago, I saw the film War Room. The plot centered on an older praying woman who mentored a younger woman, whose marriage was falling apart. She mentored, not so much about marriage, but about praying for her marriage. It had a huge impact on my heart…and my prayerlife.Photo Credit: War Room Movie

I prayed my heart out for my husband…and our children…some extended family…and close friends. I still pray for them…but in recent months, the urgency had faded. Other lesser things piled in and I allowed myself to become distracted and dull.

Until this past week…. This past week, I started a Bible study with some other friends who meet together regularly. The book study is The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. She is also the person, in the film War Room, playing the young woman in the troubled marriage. The study focuses on the Bible passage, Ephesians 6:10-19, and speaks about our role in spiritual warfare.

I had forgotten how important it is not just to pray generally and regularly for those we love, but to pray specifically and persistently. There is a big difference.

For several days, I have been praying for a difficult situation in my husband’s work life. It has been ongoing for some time, and he finally arrived to a point of taking action.

Yipes…I wasn’t at all sure I had prayed well enough for him. In fact, I was sure I hadn’t. There is no going back, but today, fresh in studying how best to pray for those we love, I took God at his word and have prayed differently. Trusting God to intervene as I stood, fortified, in his presence…as the Apostle Paul instructed in Ephesians 6.Photo Credit: True Agape

The details of what happened at work are not necessary for today’s posting, but praying specifically, persistently, and according to God’s Word has made for a very encouraging turn in the situation. Honestly, I don’t think it would have played out as it has, if both my husband and I weren’t really seeking God’s solution for this.

Will it always work out to be a glorious outcome when we pray hard and in faith? I can’t say…not always praying hard nor in faith. However, when we do pray for situations at work instead of just ranting or processing over the dinner table, outcomes will decidedly be better.

Our work is such a huge chunk of our lives. To leave it to chance or charm or even competence…seems a risky business. What a privilege to pray staunchly and strategically for those we love in the workplace – our spouses, our closest friends, our children… Praying for our bosses and colleagues, as well, could improve both their lives and ours as well…not to mention the enormous ripple effect that can spread as God works in a situation.

This afternoon our joy is full. Even though my husband’s workplace may “seem” unchanged…it is wholly different because he has seen God work in a hard place. With complete assurance. I rejoice with him.

Work is a 3-song commute from home. As I was traveling in this morning, thinking about what was ahead of him and praying for the situation en route, these songs were the ones that came back-to-back on the radio as I drove in:

Pretty amazing, huh? What seems extraordinary can be our ordinary when we pray to a Father who wants to show himself mighty on our behalf. What better thing can I do for those I love than to pray hard…pray believing for them?

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Saturday Short – A Space and a Place on the Team

August 20, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Gtrinity

Work space is always a premium in companies. Whether you work in a cubicle or a full-fledged office with a door, a space of some sort that belongs to you (shared or not) is vital. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to pour over a department’s new office space design. It was a fascinating experience.

Some of the team members work remotely, and I noticed there wasn’t a space designated for those who are not regularly in the office. Showing this to the person on point for working out the space assignments yielded an “Aha!” moment. She was kind to listen to a relative outsider, initially explaining how that probably happened because they are rarely in the office. Could it be that they are rarely there because there is no space for them? Something to think about if you want to rub shoulders and share ideas with team members that could prove very valuable…if space is made for them.

Along with space comes the idea of a place on the team. Do you know your place on your work team? What you bring to the table? What unique role you play in the mission of your organization? C-suite leaders and department heads, of course, define some of that through a title, vision, and job description. They made a place for you on the team organizationally. Your role is to carve that place out…to add value to the work of the team through your own applied competencies, but also to add value to the team members by your care for them – by being “the rising tide that lifts all boats” – Adam Grant.

Photo Credit: The Brand Bank

How exhilarating it is when our bosses communicate to us and the larger team how relevant we are to them and the work! However, that can’t be our motivation. We must set in our own minds, that if we’re employed, we have that grand opportunity to make a difference. Whether obvious to leadership or not, we can apply our best selves to the vision, to the outcome, and to the people we work with and for. Business leader John Maxwell spoke recently at the Global Leadership Summit on this very topic.

Maxwell’s book Intentional Living: Choosing a Life that Matters focuses on this idea of “adding value” to others. At first, I thought that an odd idea because people have value. Period. Then, the more I listened to him and the more I read about healthy teams, there is wisdom in this. We can get absorbed in the task and the goals, and miss the people within the tasks. It is part of the whole “space and place” component of team. Give a listen to Maxwell in this brief but packed 3:40 minute video on “adding value to people”.

In the course of busy work and personal lives, we are not even thinking sometimes of the need for “space and place”. On this Saturday, during gardening, and errands, and family outings, spend a quiet minute maybe on the people you call team and what space and place you’ve made for them to thrive and grow. It will always come back, like Adam Grant says, to benefit you as well.

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5 Friday Faves – Stress & Myers-Briggs, Contentment, Olympic Heroes, Marriage Advice, and Jambalaya

August 19, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Friday…here we meet again. This was another week that fairly flew. Next week, I plan to slow it down. The Summer Olympics end this weekend, so my sleep schedule will return to normal. It’s been a fascinating series of games. Do you have a favorite event? For me, it’s women’s gymnastics, swimming, and track and field. Lots to celebrate there.

My five favorite finds for this week are:

1) Stress and Myers-Briggs – My first time taking the Myers-Briggs personality type inventory was at the start of my career. I am an ENFP. However, as the years have gone by, and my understanding of how to get things done has matured, I test more as an ESFJ. If you’ve never taken this inventory, this may be all psycho-babble to you, but for me, it was a tool that helped me grow professionally and personally. I was a more considerate teammate having this information in my work toolbox, so to speak. Susan Storm‘s article on stress and how different personality types react to it was fascinating. Storm also gives counsel how to help depending on the personality type. Photo Credit: Psychology Junkie

If you’re unfamiliar with Myers-Briggs [Personality] Type Inventory, you can find a quick explanation of it and the different personalities here. Storm’s article on personality and dealing with stress was affirming of what I already know and am doing in stressful situations. My husband is an ISTJ (Introvert, Sensing, Thinking, Judging – again study up if you assume you know what this means but don’t really). When he is stressed, it’s helpful for me to give him space, affirm the real ways he’s managing his stress well, and helping him carve out time to exercise. These are all helps to him. As an ENFP at heart, what helps me is your confidence that I can be successful, and not asking for details and not trying to “fix” the problem. What helps you in periods of stress?

2) Contentment – When I struggle with discontent, it’s because my focus has shifted such that all I have is distorted by what I think I want. Megan Burns, a counselor friend of mine, writes: “The ‘more’ that we hunger for won’t be satisfied by anything in this world. Our desires are met in God, and in Him we have all that we need… we lack nothing. Our joy and our worth are not defined by our situation or our accomplishments. In the Lord’s presence is fullness of joy… and that’s something that doesn’t change or fade; He is with us, and He is always good and faithful.” Megan points us to God who is writing his story in our lives. When we give into discontent, it’s like we want to erase the story he is writing. May it never be so. Read more here. Photo Credit: Nancy Ruegg

Contentment & Other Lessons – the Legacy of Jerry Bridges – Deb Mills

Satisfaction & Contentment – a Journey and a Destination – Deb Mills

Finding Contentment – Nancy Ruegg

3) Olympic Heroes – There were so many situations in the Olympic Games over the last two weeks where we caught glimpses of heroes. Young athletes who pushed through adverse situations. Teams who cheered one another, as well as athletes not on their teams, on to victory. This 5000m qualifying race demonstrated that heroism. When American runner Abbey D’Agostino clipped the foot of New Zealander Nikki Hamblin, they both fell . D’Agostino got up and helped Hamblin to her feet, and they ran a bit together. Then D’Agostino somehow injured her knee and went down again. Hamblin then helped her back up and they continued on. She finished the race before D’Agostino, but they both finished…because their compassion shown more brightly than their competitiveness.Photo Credit: Fox Sports

4) Marriage Advice – On Friday’s, writer/publisher Trevin Wax posts his Trevin’s Seven. They are his favorite reads of the week. This week, he posted a peculiar yet timely little piece on Charles Spurgeon’s mother-in-law’s marital advice. Written by Spurgeonologist, Christian George, the advice was spoken to Charles’ fiancée, Susannah, on an occasion when she became angry at his slighting her. Her mother advised her simply and wisely:

Think twice before marrying a minister.
Use your God-given talents in your Gospel-centered marriage.
Ministry comes first for the married couple.

This advice of another era (1850s) may not sit well with some today but please read Christian George’s further narrative on the subject. There is wisdom for anyone considering marriage and ministry together.Photo Credit: Revive Our Hearts

5) Jambalaya – This Cajun/Creole stew has become my children’s favorite thing I make. Crockpot Jambalaya. It’s from Taste of Home. The recipe follows with some of my adaptations. I buy the various meats when they are on sale; store them in the freezer, and when it suits a family gathering, pull them all out and crockpot them.

Photo Credit: CampbellsKitchen

Total Time: Prep: 35 min. Cook: 4-1/4 hours

MAKES: 11 servings

Ingredients

1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) beef or chicken broth
1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste (or another can of diced tomatoes)
3 celery ribs, chopped
2 medium green peppers, chopped
1 medium onion, chopped
5 garlic cloves, minced (not the biggest fan of garlic so sometimes I forget to add it – still tastes marvelous!)
3 teaspoons dried parsley flakes
2 teaspoons dried basil
1-1/2 teaspoons dried oregano
1-1/4 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
1 pound boneless skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1-inch cubes [I actually use boneless skinless chicken thighs or a mixture, and I use 2 pounds.]
1 pound smoked sausage, halved and cut into 1/4-inch slices
1/2 pound uncooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined (I use 1 pound frozen shelled cooked shrimp, thawed, removing the tails)
Hot cooked rice

Nutritional Facts

230 calories: 1 cup, 13g fat (5g saturated fat), 75mg cholesterol, 1016mg sodium, 9g carbohydrate (5g sugars, 2g fiber), 20g protein.

Directions

In a 5-qt. slow cooker, combine the tomatoes, broth and tomato paste. Stir in the celery, green peppers, onion, garlic and seasonings. Stir in chicken and sausage.
Cover and cook on low for 4-6 hours or until chicken is no longer pink. Stir in shrimp. Cover and cook 15-30 minutes longer or until shrimp turn pink. Serve over rice.
Freeze option: Place individual portions of cooled stew in freezer containers and freeze. To use, partially thaw in refrigerator overnight. Heat through in a saucepan, stirring occasionally and adding a little water if necessary. Yield: 11 servings.

Even in the heat of summer, this is such a yummy meal…maybe for this weekend. Have a relaxing weekend, and share your week’s favorites if you will in Comments below.

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Friday Faves – Summer Olympics, Global Leadership Summit, Life after Being Locked-In, Walking Her Home, and KevOnStage

August 12, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Happy Friday! School is starting around the country, but not here yet. It’s still sunny summer with long days and beach trips and abundant locally grown fruits and vegetables. Tomato sandwiches and juicy perfect peaches. Mmmmm. Below are my five favorite finds of the week.

1) Summer Olympics – Watching the Olympics has been a joyful experience this week. I’m trying to keep up with the Refugee Team, and this BBC article is a helpful update. As for the Gold medals, several are being won, as you already know, to these two favorites of mine – Simone Biles and Michael Phelps. USA! USA! USA!Photo Credit: The Guardian Photo Credit: Live News Chat

2) Global Leadership Summit – This is an incredible leadership conference…the best I’ve ever attended. It’s simulcast from Chicago to sites all over the world. You’ll be hearing much more about the content in the days to come. I’m halfway through it as I post this. Brian Dodd does a live blog on it where you can gather quotes from each speaker, and on Twitter and Facebook, watch for the trending hashtag #gls16. Great content!

Photo Credit: Twitter

3) Life After Being Locked-In – Vegetative states and the locked-in syndrome have always been fascinating to me, as a nurse. An unforgettable moment for me in teaching nursing at Yale University years ago was walking into a patient’s room to meet him. He was in a wheelchair and when I entered he was looking in my direction. I said hello and he just continued to look at me…expression-less. This beautiful young man…seemingly not there at all…in some sort of vegetative state from a brain injury.

When I was a child, I watched a rerun of Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode “Breakdown” from the very first season in 1955. It was a psychological thriller about a man who survived a car accident but was paralyzed, completely unable to move or communicate. It was terrifying.

Martin Pistorius, a South African man living today in the UK, had his own terrifying journey, in real time, through being locked-in. At the age of 12, he developed some sort of illness where he quickly lost his abilities until he went into a full-blown coma. He stayed in this condition until he was 16…when he began waking up. Unfortunately, he looked no different and wasn’t able to communicate.Photo Credit: YouTube

He continued “invisible” for almost another 10 years, until one of his therapists became aware that he was actually responsive. His story is amazing. Once it was discovered that he was actually conscious, he began the incredible journey of treatment and rehabilitation. He went on to learn to communicate with an adaptive device, graduated university, became a web designer, and wrote a book about his experience (Ghost Boy). During his locked-in experience, he found God his only companion and became a follower of Christ. Now, he has also found the love of his life in Joanna whom he married.Photo Credit: NBC News

He communicates his own journey so well in this TEDx talk. The kindness and understanding in his demeanor speak volumes as well. Watch his TEDx talk below or at least read the transcript (in link above). I’m so glad to have discovered this young man and know his story.

He closed his talk with these words:

“We are told that actions speak louder than words. But I wonder, do they? Our words, however we communicate them, are just as powerful. Whether we speak the words with our own voices, type them with our eyes, or communicate them non-verbally to someone who speaks them for us, words are among our most powerful tools. I have come to you through a terrible darkness, pulled from it by caring souls and by language itself. The act of you listening to me today brings me farther into the light. We are shining here together. If there is one most difficult obstacle to my way of communicating, it is that sometimes I want to shout and other times simply to whisper a word of love or gratitude. It all sounds the same. But if you will, please imagine these next two words as warmly as you can: Thank you.“

4) Walking Her Home – Mark Schultz wrote this sweet song Walking Her Home after he was inspired by this older couple in his neighborhood. The husband was so tender with his wife and he told Mark that he’d promised her dad he’d walk her straight home after their first date and never leave her. He was still keeping that promise. We have all been touched by stories of an elderly spouse dying and the other dying shortly after. This CNN news report tells an especially sweet such story…Photo Credit: Bellevision

…and here’s the song (with video from The Notebook, from the novel by Nicholas Sparks).

5) KevOnStage – Kevin Fredericks is a very funny guy. I just discovered his videos this week. Here’s a hilarious sample:

Here’s to a relaxing weekend. Hope you recover some of your sleep missed by late night Olympics watching…if you’re like me. Be safe and savor this life…and the people we have in it. God keep you.

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5 Friday Faves – Words, Trauma Healing, Street Smart Kids, Thunderstorms, #GrowingUpInABlackChurch

July 29, 2016 admindeb 2 Comments

Happy Friday! Another whirlwind week. Ours is to savor the moments and those sweet finds of each day of life. Below are a few of my favorites from this week. Would love to hear about yours [in Comments].

1) Words – You know when you mean to send that card or make that phone call? Or when you could speak to that downcast stranger or give a shout-out to someone worthy of celebrating…and you didn’t? This is a salute to all you folks out there who use your words for life – to encourage, celebrate, comfort, guide, and lovingly speak the truth. We are bombarded with words. Literally, blasted with words. Some sound so true, we are swayed by them…to find out later, they were not true…and the course of our lives, maybe even our country, was set in a direction we wouldn’t have chosen, if we understood what the words really meant.Photo Credit: Pinterest

I’ve been blessed by good friends and colleagues who use words in a life-giving manner. They inspire me to do the same.

2) Trauma Healing – The Trauma Healing Institute is a training and service arm of The American Bible Society. The goal here is to respond at a heart-level to the trauma in people’s lives. When you think of the numbers of people who have endured extreme trauma (1 out of 7 persons globally), it is a good thing to reach out to them with shelter and supplies but also with listening ears and honoring comfort. This intervention is Bible-based so may not be the go-to training for everyone, but I’m hoping to take it in the Fall. Check here for stories and more info.
Photo Credit: Trauma Healing Institute

3) Street Smart Kids – Earlier this week, I wrote about situational awareness. One of the resources I posted was the blog by Chonce Maddox on 50 Things You Can Do to Make Your Kids Street Smart I wrote this week about situational awareness here. Maddox talks about her reasoning for writing: “As a parent, my worst fear is that I won’t be able to protect my child when he needs it. My second worst fear is that he won’t be able to protect himself and make wise decisions depending on what situation he’s in.” Her list of 50 things are age-specific and are brilliant and easy-to-apply. Whether you have a newborn or a soon-to-be-launched teen, take the time to equip your children in this way.

Photo Credit: A Fine Parent

4) Thunderstorms and Heat Lightning – I love rain and especially thunderstorms. It’s been really hot here in Richmond, Va., the last couple of weeks. Occasionally the lightning has only been heat-related. We had both heat lightning yesterday as well as an amazing thunderstorm last night. My pic below is of the late afternoon sky. The rains that came later were drenching and cooling. No electricity outages – just a glorious and wet light and sound show.Photo Credit: Wunderground

5) #GrowingUpInABlackChurch – Growing up outside Atlanta , in the suburbs, was a pretty homogeneous experience for me, culture-wise. When I finished grad school, my first job was in an innercity hospital in downtown Atlanta. This was my first time experiencing the richness and otherness of predominately African American worship or “church”. In those days, working on an oncology unit, I went to a lot of funerals. Both in those times and regular Sunday services, I discovered a very different way of doing church and community. Sunday morning church is still too often a too-segregated experience, but I’m glad for the opportunities to be in a more racially and culturally diverse worship. What got me thinking about this was the trending hashtag this month which was fun to watch…although, not having the experience of #GrowingUpInABlackChurch, I celebrate it. ALso trending this week: #blackwomendidthat.

Photo Credit: HBCU, HBCU

Have a safe and sweet weekend out there. Use the Comments below to post your own favorites from this week. Thanks!