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5 Friday Faves – Writer Jeff Goins, Note-takers, Book List, Children’s Books, and a Weekend Getaway

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Friday! Long, deep breath. A weekend away, visits with both grandchildren and their parents, time with our youngest, and hard physical work were all part of this week. Also a clean bill of health from my oncologist…cause to rejoice again for another six months.

Here are my faves this week – you’ll find them a bit more about books and writing than usual…it’s just where I am and what has popped up this week.

1) Writer Jeff Goins – author of Real Artists Don’t Starve (read about it here). He is also the organizer of the  Tribe Conference – a gathering of writers and artists to learn from each other and from  speaker/mentors. Jeff Goins is a successful writer. He is also incredibly generous in teaching others how to be successful as well. Maybe next year  I will have the courage to attend the Tribe Conference. Fortunately there are several who did attend and published their take-aways, including Jeff.Photo Credit: Andrea Cadelli

In Goins’ article The Counterintuitive Way to Create Something that Changes Lives: 4 Lessons from Tribe Conference, he lists four lessons learned passing them on to us:

  • Make your Mess your Message. – “Make your mess your message,” Ishita Gupta told us. Don’t try to hide the unkempt parts of yourself. Let your hair down, tell the ugly parts of your story, and allow people to love you for who you really are.
  • Prioritize People Over Performance. – At the Tribe Conference, audience engagement is built into the program. Goins makes sure that the conference experience is a fully satisfying one for all in attendance. “With your own creative projects, think of ways you can empower your audience to feel like they are a part of the work you’re doing. Not only that, actually include them. Give them some ownership and see what they do with it. In our experience, this almost always yields a better product.”
  • Focus on Action Over Information. – The information sharing is not the most important piece of the conference content. It is what the audience does with the information, sifting it for what applies to their own art and platform. After each talk, 10 minutes is give for the attendees to process what they learned. Extra long breaks and lunches allow for maximum connection of conference attenders with each other and with the speakers.
  • Be a Fan of Fun. – Conferences can be so serious. Goins and his team work fun into the schedule. “It’s okay to enjoy yourself. It’s okay to celebrate…So, we have dance parties and chocolate tastings, mimosas and popsicles, after parties and pre-event meetups, and so many other fun surprises.”

[At the end of the article above, Goins posts links to what others wrote about the conference. Very helpful. Not quite like being there, but helpful nonetheless.]

All My Notes and Takeaways From jeff Goins’ Tribe Conference for Writers – Shawn Blanc

2) Note-Takers – I don’t know if it’s because I’m a visual learner, but taking notes has been a life-long habit for me. That’s why journaling is also a joy – I learn better (deeper) when I write.Photo Credit: The Inner Sage

As with the Tribe Conference above, I love to find conference notes online. Writer and productivity coach Shaun Blanc‘s article was informative and made me want to attend the Tribe Conference even more. There are many like him who have the skill of comprehensive note-taking. How delightful when these folks share their notes.

3) Book List – Leadership coach is another great note-taker and list-maker. He posted My husband has a good sense about books to read, so I wasn’t surprised that he had already read The Boys in the Boat.Photo Credit:

Would love to hear what are some of your recent reads. Please post your suggested books in the Comments.

4) Children’s Books – Earlier in the year, I had blogged about the desire to write a book. Shortly after that, my daughter and I began the process. It will be a children’s book (or a short series of books). The target audience will be preschoolers but our hope is to write in such a way that parents and older siblings will want to read it aloud and again and again. Lofty goals. We will need an illustrator. I love the children’s book author and illustrator Nancy Tillman. She has just published a tiny boxed set The World Is a Wonderland Collection. The prose is lovely but the best part is her illustrations. Just beautiful. Maybe she has a real heart toward new authors… Is it crazy to think of asking her to illustrate? Who knows?

5) Weekend Getaway – Last weekend Dave and I ducked out of town to just have a few days at the beach…Virginia Beach. There’s something very healing for us to be near the ocean. It clears the mind. As always we came back home with a refreshed vision about life and a restored resolve.

Below of are some of the highlights:No win this weekend for Titans fans, but a funnel cake took some of the sting away.The sunrises were amazing. Every morning. Inspiring.We walk the boardwalk daily, and sometimes twice daily. King Neptune’s status keeps watch as do the jet pilots of the Oceana Naval Air Station. The Virginia Aquarium was a sweet delight.The seafood…was excellent.The company was the best.

These were my Friday Faves for this week. It’s been a long, long day so will leave you with this: thanks so much for reading. I can’t tell you how much that encourages this woman at this stage of my life. Enjoy the weekend and be gentle with yourself and each other.

Bonuses:

Keith Urban’s Tribute to Those Killed and Wounded in the Last Vegas Massacre of October 1, 2017

Poet Jane Kenyon’s Advice on Writing: Some of the Wisest Words to Create and Live By – Maria Popova

Having It Out with Melancholy: Amanda Palmer Reads Jane Kenyon’s Stunning Poem About Life With and After Depression – Maria Popova

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5 Friday Faves – Uncommon Friendship, Compounding Your Time, Bon Iver’s Holocene, Fear of Dying, and Parenting Post-Childhood Trauma

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Happy Friday! Jumping right in to this week’s Friday Faves:

1) Uncommon Friendship – Would you push a wheelchair for a friend across a 500 mile journey? Patrick Gray gladly did that for his friend Justin Skeesuck. They are both heroes. They love each other and give each other the opportunity to live large…live unlimited. Watch the video. Buy the book.

Two Friends and One Wheelchair on the Pilgrim’s Way: Justin and Patrick Live Unlimited on the Camino de Santiago

I’ll Push You – Facebook Page

I’ll Push You: A Journey of 500 Miles, Two Best Friends, and One Wheelchair – Patrick Gray and Justin Skeesuck

2)Compounding Your Time – Compounding your time is like compounding interest – a small investment over time that yields multiplying dividends. Writer and social entrepreneur Michael Simmons recently posted a super helpful article on maximizing your time use. In Why Successful People Spend 10 Hours a Week on “Compound Time”, Simmons describes compound time as an element of the day of high performers. They “step away from urgent work, slow down, and invest in activities that have a long-term payoff in greater knowledge, creativity, and energy. As a result, they may achieve less in a day at first, but drastically more over the course of their lives.” Simmons’ 6 hacks to incorporating compound time in your life are listed below, but don’t miss his fuller fleshing these out here.

Hacks for Compounding Your Time (Over Time):

  1. Keep a journal.
  2. Take a nap.
  3. Walk 15 minutes every day.
  4. Read.
  5. Invest in conversation partners.
  6. Experiment regularly.

“To get started, follow the 5-hour rule: for an hour a day, invest in compound time: take that nap, enjoy that walk, read that book, have that conversation. You may doubt yourself, feel guilty or even worry you’re “wasting” time… You’re not! Step away from your to-do list, just for an hour, and invest in your future. This approach has worked for some of the world’s greatest minds. It can work for you, too.” – Michael Simmons

What have you found helpful to compound time in your own life? Please share in Comments.

3) Bon Iver’s Holocene – The American Indie folk band Bon Iver wrote and performed this incredible song, Holocene. It’s part of the soundtrack in a couple of favorite films of mine (The Judge and We Bought A Zoo). The music is ethereal and just plain lovely. The lyrics?

Bon Iver’s obscure lyrics make those of us who love the song search for its meaning…here one commentor gives my favorite interpretation:

The point that struck me the other day though, was the beauty in the title. Holocene: an epoch spanning over 10,000 years- “connectedness” to the earth from present to the past. Not only are we are aware the world is vast- we are aware that we are only a small speck in time. There is beauty in such simple humanity of a flickering flame, the pink hues of a sunrise- things enjoyed by humankind for eons. It connects our present world of Facebook and Smartphones to centuries of humanity that existed before us- and to the future that lays ahead.

He has these “moments” where everything is right with the world: “not the needle nor the thread, the lost decree… Saying nothing was enough for me”. Conversation is not needed, you are absorbed in the moment of the “hallowed bright” of Christmas Eve or “Laying waste to Halloween”, but “at once”, you are struck with the realization that your “moment” is not significant… “I was not magnificent”. In this though, there is joy in the feeling that despite that, you are still a part of something.

You are a part of the fabric of humanity- over 10,000 years of ‘people’. “Hulled from far the highway aisle”, separated from race, religion, politics and war- but connected to love, jealously, empathy, depression and beauty- emotions spanning borders and time. “Someway baby its part of me, apart from me”.

Holocene reminds us, humbles us and empowers us. – My Interpretation – Bevanreay

4) Fear of Dying – I entered motherhood as a cancer nursing specialist. Cancer was all around me in those days, and I embraced what I learned of how precious and tenuous life could be. We were still in the first few days at home with our daughter when, while showering, I discovered a knot under one of my arms. It shook me so much, I literally had to lean against the wall of the shower for a few seconds. Well, thankfully, it turned out to be a non-malignant swollen lymph node common to breast-feeding mothers.

Still, then, and more recently dealing with the real deal cancer, I am acutely aware of how the shadow of death can fall on a life. Just. Like. That. A shadow is just a shadow and often it passes, and all is well again. However, we land at a different place emotionally and spiritually when “well” comes again. A better and broader place.

Mom and blogger Heather Anne Naples  writes about that transformation in her own confrontation with a frightening experience as a mom of a small child. Photo Credit: Heather Anne Naples

How the Fear of Dying Taught Me How to Live – Heather Anne Naples

As she relived her medical emergency and hearing her baby crying and calling for her as the paramedics took her out to the ambulance, she became terrified at the idea that she might not make it and her daughter would not remember her.

I ask you to ask yourself: What will be said about you when you are gone?

Are you kind? Are you gentle? Are you giving? Are you loving?

I am…Now.

Confessing to having previously been a gossipy, sassy “mean girl” before her medical emergency, she turned that all around…not perfectly, of course (not any of us can claim that)…but she altered her life’s course for her daughter…and all in her life from then on out.

The fear of dying should never consume us…that would be a form of dying while living. However, we can learn from a brush with death…that learning can help us live life differently…and better.

http://www.acesconnection.com/blog/making-the-good-stuff-louder-trauma-dad-bryon-hamel

5) Parenting Post-Childhood Trauma – I have people in my life who have decided not to parent because of the trauma in their own lives growing up. They think they are too damaged and don’t want to pass that on to their own children. That is so tragic to me. It’s like the abusive adults in their lives continue to wreak havoc in the adult survivors of childhood trauma.

I’m sure there are situations where not having children is the answer, but it is thrilling to know of people like Byron Hamel.

Photo Credit: ACEs Connection

ACEs Connection writer Christine Cissy White interviewed Hamel, filmmaker and child/parent advocate. Her post, entitled Making the Good Stuff Louder: Trauma Dad, Byron Hamel, gives hope and empowerment. Read the full interview but here Hamel summarizes.

“Childhood isn’t safe. Predators are everywhere. A guy exposed himself to my kid last week at a park. You get your kid out of the park and you call the police. Be vigilant. Learn what grooming is and how to stop it. Monitor their activity online. Ask them about school. Tell them they can tell you ANYTHING and they won’t get in trouble. Tell them they don’t have to fear for their safety, or indeed for YOUR safety. And don’t wait for them to come to you. Ask them regularly. Make your home a fortress for their well-being. Make it feel like the safest place they can possibly be. Show them the greatest love. Be their greatest protector. Listen the most intently.”

A Cycle Broken – Byron Hamel Productions

Care Can Not Be Purchased – Byron Hamel

Guardians of the Children

Love Your Neighbor – The Resilience Movie and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) – Deb Mills Writer

Dance Like You Matter

That’s a wrap on this week’s Faves. Have a great weekend. Be kind to yourself and those around you…you just never know.

Bonuses:

http://paulsohn.org/30-quotes-that-will-help-you-get-through-the-day/

Motivated Reasoning Is Why You Can’t Win an Argument Using Facts

Living Out – Same Sex Attraction – Anne [website for Christians grappling with SSA]

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Monday Morning Moment – Principles of Execution – and Teams That Get It Done

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Photo Credit: USAFA

Two workplace scenarios. The first is when either the manager or the team is super excited about a goal, and action items are determined and given to just the right team member and calendared for quick turnaround. Photo Credit: JSC

The second scenario is when either the manager or the team is super excited about a goal, then one or the other digs in their heels. The meeting ends with no clear shared responsibilities, no movement forward, no hope of change.Photo Credit: GangplankHQ, Flickr

Sigh…all the most excellent strategic planning can take place inside a conference room…and without execution. Essentially, nothing happened there.

I’ve had both kinds of team experiences and want to focus on the former one above. Talk about high employee morale when a group of colleagues operate as a finely tuned machine and the yield is high-quality productivity.

FranklinCovey is a leadership consulting firm. I discovered this firm through the book The 4 Disciplines of Execution authored by leaders in the firm.

The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals is written by Sean Covey, Chris McChesney, and Jim Huling.

When you go to the website, you actually are able to immediately grow in your understanding of how to influence execution in your company. The video below is an incredible teaching tool – 17 minutes of powerful content on execution:

In brief, their 4 disciplines of execution are:

  1. Focus on the wildly important goals (WIGs). The day-to-day operations always stand against those game-changer goals. Determine to be unyielding on the highest-priority goals (1-3 maximum).
  2. Act on the Lead Measure. [New terminology for me.] The lag measure is the goal itself. The lead measure is what you can influence to accomplish the lag measure. Lead measures are the leverage used to get to the lag measure (goal). Lead measures are “predictive and influenceable“.
  3. Create a compelling scoreboard. I appreciate the wisdom of this (Chris McChesney describes it so well in video above). The scoreboard is not for the manager. It’s all about the players at this juncture, and it should feel like a game. [Actually an element of fun and energy incorporated. What a concept!] The scoreboard would be simple, highly visible and the players (employees) should be able to tell right away from the scoreboard whether they are winning or losing toward meeting the goal.
  4. Create a cadence of accountability. Everybody is going to love this! 20-minute meetings are calendared every week, at the same time. All the people in the room have “skin in the game”.  This meeting is sharply focused on 3 things (related to the lead measures only): each person reports on the week before; reviews/updates the scoreboard; makes commitments for coming week. That’s it! How streamlined and forward-moving, is that?!

[ 4 points taken from the video above: 4 Disciplines of Execution]

Many years ago, I was on a work team that was given the responsibility and liberty to determine what else was needed in the formation of a comprehensive cancer center. We had many places already in place – excellent medical and nursing care, an engaged community, and a charitable foundation to provide extra resources for taking us to a state-of-the-art cancer center.

3 nurses – Kay, Kathy, and I – had the question to answer of “Why Else?” What else did we need? We worked together on the planning and execution of comprehensive support services and education. Each of us brought our own giftings – I had vision and ideas, Kay was an influential nurse manager, and Kathy was detail-oriented and had a gift for taking a project to completion. Some of the services that came out of those problem-solving sessions are still embedded deeply into the DNA of that cancer center today.

Ray Dalio, founder of Bridgewater Associates, presented some of his business principles in a TED Talk entitled “How to Build a Company Where the Best Ideas Win”.

Start at 6:17 minutes in (if you don’t want story and context), and you will hear his wisdom about the importance of radical truthfulness and radical transparency.

“One of the greatest tragedies of mankind: People arrogantly, naively holding opinions in their minds that are wrong…and acting on them, and not putting them out there to stress-test them, and that’s a tragedy.” – Ray Dalio

“Collective decision-making is so much better than individual decision-making if it’s done well.” – Ray Dalio

Kathy, Kay, and I had that sort of team relationship – radical truthfulness and radical transparency.

Whether you are part of a team, or an independent entrepreneur, there are excellent principles here.

Finally, in Gerald Leonard‘s piece on Steve Jobs‘ principles of execution, Leonard listed 9 nuggets of wisdom:

1) Do what you love for a living.

2) Build partnerships that will turn into lifelong friendships.

3) Attend college to get an education not just a degree.

4) Join your local industry associations.

5) Experiencing other cultures will open your eyes to new worlds.

6) Find others who have complementary strengths and recruit them.

7) Don’t be afraid to recruit others that are stronger than you.

8) Practice CANI – Continuous and Never-Ending Improvement.

9) When one door closes, another will open if you look for it.

Principles of Execution 014: Insights from Steve Jobs on Visionary Leadership – Gerald Leonard

If you want to take an honest and critical look at your team or company’s success in operation, you have great helps here – in the FranklinCovey’s counsel, in Ray Dalio’s discoveries and in the philosophies of business leaders like Steve Jobs. I’d also like to add anything on teaming by Patrick Lencioni.

I would love to hear how you get to execution…because until you do, it’s just meetings upon meetings.

Please add in Comments below any other resources that have proved helpful to you in getting to effective execution with the added impact of high morale in getting to goal.

Get Better: 15 Proven Practices to Build Effective Relationships at Work – Todd Davis, FranklinCovey

The 4 Disciplines of Execution: Achieving Your Wildly Important Goals – Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, and Jim Huling

YouTube Video – The 4 Disciplines of Execution in a Nutshell

Patrick Lencioni – 3 Indispensible Virtues that Make Teams Successful – Dan Schwabel

Having a Team Scoreboard – The Table Group

Building a Healthy Work Culture – in a Season of Change, Uncertainty, and Dips in Morale – Deb Mills Writer

Monday Morning Moment – Social Capital – an Invaluable Resource We Can Develop – and a Tool to Help – Deb Mills Writer

Monday Morning Moment – Taking the Social Capital Challenge – 5 Steps Forward – Deb Mills Writer

Monday Morning Moment – True Humility in Leadership – So Not Cliché – Deb Mills Writer

The Five Characteristics of a Highly Functional Team – Dennis Hopper

YouTube Video – 4 Disciplines of Execution – Gwinnett Medical Center – This was personally very satisfying and encouraging for me. My dad was a patient at this medical center during the time when there were banners flying everywhere about it being one of the top medical centers in the country. At the same time, we family members stayed with him around the clock, because nurses did not come when we called, nor were other services offered with any communication that my dad or we mattered to staff. To see that they also came to recognize this was a problem and took effective steps to correct it was exciting.

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5 Friday Faves – Destiny Meets Classical Guitar, Parenting Hacks, Storms, Waffle House Index, and Country Stores

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Friday! For our part of the world, these days bring teasers that Fall is on its way. Cooler temperatures and the brush of color in the trees are lovely signs of change in the seasons.

Hurricane season also peaks this time of year and we’ve seen it in Harvey and Irma – such nice old-fashioned names for such catastrophic events. We are moved to pray for, serve, and give toward the needs of those most affected by these storms.

Today, these are my favorite finds of this week:

1) Destiny Meets Classical Guitar – For video gamers, Destiny 2 just came out. Nostalgia is high for those who grew up with the original Destiny game of battles and heroes. Among those is classical guitarist Nathan Mills of Beyond the Guitar. Photo Credit: Screenshot, YouTube

No nostalgia for me, but Nathan’s arrangement of several of the themes from Destiny is lovely. Catch it here…featured also this week at Bungie.

2) Parenting Hacks – Don’t you love truly helpful parenting advice? The gentle sort that is genius without being judgmental. I found a YouTube channel with just this variety of help – Nurture. Check it out. The video on retrieving something a child put up her nose is “Of course! Why didn’t we think of that?”

3) Storms – I have never endured the path or aftermath of a storm like Harvey or Irma, so I wouldn’t give counsel on how to deal spiritually with such a thing… However, other storms have blown against my heart and that of those much loved in my life. Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Leslie Leyland Fields is a fisherwoman and an author. She deals with storms of a physical nature…as well as spiritual. Fields writes fascinating stories about her family’s Alaska fishing business. Especially riveting are the stories of the storms that come up. Read her blog on a recent storm they experienced (her son’s video could give you motion sickness, so be prepared).

We live too much in a too human world, most of us, surrounded by the work of our own hands, cossetted and comforted and cozy most hours of the day and night. We fashion our lives and our prayers around safety, success, We cannot escape ourselves or our own small desires. But enter a storm, climb a mountain, sail the sea, wander an old-growth forest—be afraid—and you will so suddenly and gloriously disappear. You will feel the wind blowing through your clothes and your soul. If you are lucky you’ll be terrified and you may cry like Peter, “Lord, I am a sinful woman, go away from me!” Your little household gods will die, and part of you will die with it.

And you’ll be glad. – Leslie Leyland Fields

There is something in the experience of storms (or earthquakes, drought or flood) that forces us to deal with the frailty of both stuff and life itself. We reach out…to God, and to others. We reach out to what is most real.

Check out Fields’ latest book: Crossing the Waters: Following Jesus through the Storms, the Fish, the Doubt, and the Seas.

Baptist Global Response – Hurricane Irma Disaster Relief

4) Waffle House Index – I love the Waffle House. We have big family memories of breakfast with my parents and their grands and great-grands. Waffle House never closes…unless…Photo Credit: Flickr; FLickr

Unless a storm is so fierce, Waffle House employees are at risk. Because of this, there is actually a storm measure called the Waffle House Index. If this tiny all-service restaurant closes, then you need to get out of town!Photo Credit: Screenshot, CNBC

5) Country Stores – Another chain of restaurants that offers its own unique comforts is Cracker Barrel. Just last night, we ate there, and our friend accompanying us gave his reasons why he never tires of it. “Cracker Barrel always reminds me of home. As much as I travel, it guarantees a meal that tastes home-cooked.” For me, as great as the food is, it’s the country store of Cracker Barrel that enchants. Fall is fully displayed right now, and Thanksgiving and Christmas aren’t far behind. Love that. Always a reminder of the stuff of celebration. Like the porch light is still on, through the storm. I know…a bit sappy…but a sweet respite. 

Hope your weekend is out of harms’ way – far from the storms passing throuagh, but especially I hope you have a sure safe harbor. Until next time…

Bonus

How I Paid Off My $64,000 Mortgage in 15 Months

http://thefivejourneys.com/how-i-paid-off-my-64000-mortgage-in-15-months/

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Monday Morning Moment – Audacious Leadership – Lead Like Jesus

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Photo Credit: Leo Reynolds, Flickr

Today’s workplace bends with the culture. Historical and current contexts are present in our work culture, whether or not we acknowledge it.  What if our culture has lost its interest in history…in experience… in the wisdom of the ages? What does that mean for those of us in the workplace, when cultural context isn’t seasoned by what we learn from the past? What does history teach us about leadership, about work, about each other?

When I think of audacious leaders, by definition, they can be two different sorts of folks:

  1. Courageous bold risk-takers, or
  2. Arrogant, impudent decision-makers

A negatively audacious leader demands followership. A positively audacious leader, in his own way, also demands followership. Still the most followable leader is the one who leads with both courage AND care.

Hopefully your experience of audacity in leadership is the most a positive one (as will be spelled out more below). Two things leaders always communicate, either positively or negatively, is that “work matters” and “people matter”. Context and history both matter, also, even though the trend in thinking is toward the ever-changing “latest and greatest”.

I am sounding really old here, but fortunately those who speak with much greater authority across the business world are starting to sound the same clarion call. Take Steve Farber and Paul Sohn.

What do they say about radical, audacious history-changing leadership?

In leadership coach Steve Farber‘s article What Is Extreme Leadership?, he talks about taking a “radical leap”. He asks the question: “What can I do, right now, regardless of what others around here are or are not doing, to change my piece of this world/company/organization for the better”?

The acronym is LEAP:

  1. L – Cultivate love.
  2. E – Generate energy.
  3. A – Inspire audacity.
  4. P – Provide proof.

Photo Credit: Extreme Leadership, Steve Farber

The Radical Leap – a Personal Lesson in Extreme Leadership – Steve Farber

I love Farber’s definition of extreme (audacious) leadership and I’ve had the great fortune of working with leaders like that.

Paul Sohn, also a leadership coach, write about a bold leadership model – one that incorporates the practices and wisdom of Jesus of Nazareth.

[Sidebar: It’s a shame that most think of Jesus as belonging to Christianity. I wonder, even, if only Christians read to this point of the piece. There is so much to learn and appreciate in the teachings of Jesus. Being put off by how we as clay-footed believers represent him at times is part of our dilemma today. Please don’t miss the wisdom and understanding his life offers to all of us.]

In Sohn’s article, 12 Leadership Lessons Every Leader Should Learn From Jesus, he lists out these lessons and gives context and commentary. Click on the link above to read more.

  1. To serve is to be great.
  2. There is a cure for worry.
  3. Love conquers all.
  4. Follow the Golden Rule.
  5. Ask for what you need.
  6. Judge not.
  7. Keep your word.
  8. Give in secret.
  9. Forgive others.
  10. Speak good words.
  11. Nothing is impossible if you have faith.
  12. Use it or lose it.                        – Paul Sohn from the teachings of Jesus

http://paulsohn.org/12-life-lessons-every-leader-should-learn-from-jesus/

On Sohn’s bio page, he showcases this quote:

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”

“One will weave the canvas; another will fell a tree by the light of his ax. Yet another will forge nails, and there will be others who observe the stars to learn how to navigate. And yet all will be as one. Building a boat isn’t about weaving canvas, forging nails, or reading the sky. It’s about giving a shared taste for the sea, by the light of which you will see nothing contradictory but rather a community of love.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

This is such a beautiful picture of audacious leadership in the most positive sense. We who work together to develop a product or deliver a service can create something better together. Not only is the product or service better suited for the customer, but we are changed in the process.Photo Credit: George Couros, Flickr

I do actually think it matters who the leader is, because our whole culture moves and shifts in response to who’s making decisions. However, we can determine (as leaders or as team players) to honor and elevate one another…as servant leader Jesus demonstrated in his life and teaching. We can build capacity, caring, and community, as Farber and Sohn prescribe, in how we lead and work.

We look back to what history has taught us; we consider the context of current culture; and we work forward to, hopefully, a better future. It’s only in giving up, that we fail. Be audacious in moving forward. It’s Monday…lots can happen.

The People Skills of Jesus – William Beausay II

The Management Methods of Jesus – Bob Briner

Lead Like Jesus Revisited – Ken Blanchard, Phil Hodges, Phyllis Hendry

Culture Eats Strategy for Breakfast – Paul Sohn

Wisdom for the Workplace – The Christian Working Woman – Mary Lowman

17 Powerful Workplace Scriptures – Work Matters – Whitney Gaines

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5 Friday Faves – Beyond the Guitar, Underdog Movies, Tim Tebow, Church and Unchurched, and Vacation Food Memories

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What a week! The news is full of mostly scary stuff. Thankful we made it to Friday. Below are five of my favorites of this week – mostly light-hearted – hope they make you smile mostly, and think a little, too.

1) Beyond the Guitar – Nathan Mills has done it again. His arrangement of Priscilla’s Song – from the highly acclaimed videogame The Witcher 3 – Wolven Storm – is just beautiful.Photo Credit: Beyond the Guitar

So how convincing was my familiarity with this video game series? I know nothing more than what the website told me and how much-loved it is by those who commented on his YouTube video. Still, the whole world of video game music has become a new love of mine…since Nathan has taken to arranging some of his favorites for classical guitar. The composer of this piece is the brilliant Marcin Przybylowicz. Watch here.

2) Underdog Movies – For a couple of years, while we lived in North Africa, I taught a film class in an international high school. One of my favorite genres of film is the underdog movie. Teachable moments abound in films where an individual or group must battle to the top, on their own or with each other’s help.

Two of my current favorites are McFarland USA and Spare Parts. Photo Credit: McFarland USA, To the Flixs

Photo Credit: Spare Parts, To the Flixes

What are some of your favorites- either recent or from times past? Please share them below in Comments.

Best Movies About Underdogs

The 19 Best Underdog Movies that Fill Us With Hope

21 Underdog Movies You Must Watch

4) Tim Tebow – What comes to mind when you hear the name Tim Tebow? Heisman Trophy winner, football player, baseball player? What else that has to come to mind is unashamed Christian and all-around good guy. I wish I could find the Tweet this morning that pointed to a short and shaky homemade video by a proud mom, Ileanna Bosch. Her son, Seth, is a big fan of Tim Tebow, and he made his way through the fans to get within reach of Tebow just before he batted for the St. Lucie Mets. Tim was warming up but came over to the fence to shake Seth’s hand. Then he went on to hit a three-run homerun. Do NOT miss the video and story here.Photo Credit: NY Daily News

Tim Tebow, professional athlete and author of the book Shaken: Discovering Your True Identity in the Midst of Life’s Storms Tim turns 30 this month (August 14) – happy birthday, Tim!

4) Church and the Unchurched – If you don’t love Jesus and aren’t interested in church, you may want to skip this one…but why not at least consider the question of what about church isn’t for you? For those of us who DO love Jesus and want to share that love (in word and deed) with others, we would do well to consider our Canadian pastor friend Carey Nieuwhof‘s words in his piece below.

7 Things Christians Should Give Up To Reach Unchurched People

If you didn’t click on the link, here’s what Carey raises as personal preferences of ours that might be turning away our unchurched friends:

  • Music
  • Politics
  • Style
  • Buildings
  • Money
  • Time
  • Our Lives

“When your preferences keep unchurched people from the promise of Christ, it’s time to change your preferences.” – Carey Nieuwhof

[Don’t miss the comments section of his piece…good stuff also.]

5) Vacation Food Memories – Popovers at the Jordan Pond House, Acadia, Maine. Mmmmmm. My best friend, Paulette, and I did a road trip from Georgia to Maine one summer, a very long time ago. We camped in Acadia National Park. We drove all through the park and along the coast. The beaches of the Atlantic Ocean were covered with smooth stones. I probably still have some that I collected. It was a rainy, coolish afternoon in June. We pulled into the Jordan Pond House parking lot without knowing what we would find. We sat at a table inside. Little jars of flowers were everywhere – on all the tables and also on the ledges of all the windows of the restaurant. It had the effect of stained glass with all the colors, even on a cloudy day.Photo Credit: NPS

We ordered popovers and coffee. They were brought to our linen-covered table as if a part of a special ceremony – thecoffee service, the tall still-steaming popovers, and dishes of butter and strawberry preserves…Like it was yesterday.Photo Credit: stuart_spivack, Flickr

http://bangordailynews.com/2017/07/27/news/hancock/you-gotta-break-a-few-eggs-my-day-as-a-popover-baker/

Have a sweet weekend. Savor every day. Be gentle with yourself and those around you. We live in troubled times…but God draws near.

Bonuses:

Chocolate Cake –  If you love chocolate cake, you do not want to miss this recipe or the buttered-with-Southern-charm video about this cake by Southern Living. You will be drooling, I promise you.

River City Movers – Don’t you love small businesses that demonstrate a strong work ethic, value customer satisfaction, and hold down the cost of services? If you have a move in your future, River City Movers take a lot of stress and expense out of the experience. They assist with moves all over the US. Jim Bragg (on the left) is both professional and amicable. These are just some of his guys and they were committed to finish the job and finish it well.

Declining Sperm Counts – in the Western World and Around the World – Fascinating but not sure how correct all this is – Would love to hear what you think. It is not a fave in the usual way but in the actions men can take to help themselves to father children.

Global Leadership Summit – Missing this summit today – very sad face. I can depend on Brian Dodd to post best quotes from the Summit (watch his blog over the next several days). Here also.

Gray Hair – YouTube Video – Why My Gray Hairs Make Me Happy – Be That Person – The Stay at Home Chef

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5 Friday Faves – Joni’s 50 Years of Quadriplegia, Lord of the Rings Guitar Cover, a Low-Carb Surprise, Blindspots, and Taking Responsibility

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Friday! This time of year, it’s squeezing out those last vacation days before school starts again (after Labor Day in Virginia). Many of our friends in other states have already shut down their summer as kids  returned to school this week. Can’t you just smell the fragrance of new school supplies? For us here, it’s still making hot August day memories with little guys.

While you finish your cup of coffee or break from work, let’s get down to this week’s Friday Faves.

1) Joni’s 50 Years of Quadriplegia – A woman who has taught me much about living through hardship with grace is Joni Eareckson Tada. She is a writer, speaker, artist and advocate for persons with disabilities. More central than all of that is her deep faith and dependence on God…especially in the 50 years since a diving accident, at 17 years old, put her in a wheelchair for life. I discovered her through an old feature film and her autobiography – Joni: An Unforgettable Story. The testament of her life points always to a God who gave her the grace to “count quadriplegia joy“. She is an amazing woman empowered with His love and that of those by her side, especially her husband, Ken Tada.Photo Credit: Joni and Friends

In Awe of Her God – Joni’s Fifty Years of Counting Quadriplegia Joy –

Reflections on the 50th Anniversary of My Diving Accident – Joni Eareckson Tada

Joni and Friends

2) Lord of the Rings Guitar Cover – One of the feature films with the greatest impact on our family is The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. The stories are gripping; the heroes are the stuff of legend; the villains are loathsome; the music is spectacular. Nathan Mills, Beyond the Guitar, has finally given us an arrangement of one of the great themes: Riders of Rohan from The Two Towers (second film of the trilogy). You can hear the theme in context with the story here (music rises after minute 5).

Nathan’s arrangement is here…and all us LOTR fans loved it (126,000 views and counting).

3) A Low-Carb Surprise – Earlier this week, we had a big supper with friends. A regular event where we take turns bringing food to share. This amazing cook in the bunch made loaded mashed potatoes. Having just finished a sugar detox, I have minimized carbs in my diet for over a month. Those mashed potatoes were so yummy. Not really ready to dive into unrestricted carb eating, I’ve been doing something very different (and appalling for me). Substituting cauliflower for potatoes and rice. Here’s the surprise. I’m shocked to confess that cauliflower is actually good…enough. With a lighter carb load and other nutritious qualities as well. Last night I made Shepherd’s Pie with a cauliflower topping. I don’t food-process the cauliflower; just steam it and then either mash it or crush it a bit with a fork (to use as rice).Cauliflower takes on the flavors added to it. Just as with mashed potatoes, butter and a bit of milk completed the substitution. Cheese on top and…hello!

Still…the next time it’s my friend’s turn to cook, that mashed-potato queen, I will not be slow to take my serving. Low carbs, not no carbs.

YouTube Video – This Is Why Eating Healthy Is So Hard (Time Travel Dietician)

4) Blind Spots – Life coach and writer Martha Beck defines blind spots as psychological “aspects of our personality that are obvious to everyone but ourselves“. She even prescribes a way to discover them.

“I know how valuable honest feedback can be, how much precious time it can save in my struggle to awaken. I still have to force myself to go looking for it, but when I do I almost always benefit.

Try this: For a week, ask for blind-spot feedback from one person a day, never asking the same person twice. Just say it: “Is there anything about me that I don’t seem to see but is obvious to you?” You’ll probably want to start with your nearest and dearest, but don’t stop there. Surprisingly, a group of relative strangers is often the best mirror you can find. I’ve worked with many groups of people who, just minutes after meeting, could offer one another powerful insights. Like the emperor in his new clothes, we often believe that our illusions are confirmed by the silence of people who are simply too polite to mention the obvious. Breaking the courtesy barrier by asking for the truth can change your life faster than anything else I’ve ever experienced.” – Martha Beck

As hard as negative feedback is to stomach, it is a great help to avoid continued odd responses from people or the distancing that can happen when our blind spots get in the way of intimacy and care in relationships.Photo Credit: Vimeo

Now blind spots and “buttons” are different and yet connected. Buttons – those things people do that make us crazy – actually point to some of our blind spots in the way we respond to people pushing those buttons.

For instance, one of my buttons is when someone treats me like I’m stupid, or gullible. Like when a person tries to help me understand a decision he/she has made as if it’s a good thing when I know, and he/she knows, it’s not necessarily a good thing for me. This sort of thing makes me really burn (standing in the need of prayer here). OK…that’s a button, but my response reveals a blind spot. My blind spot is that if I take a stand in some area then it means that I am totally right in that stand. Sort of the same as the button but from a different direction, you know what I’m saying? It’s helpful to know our blind spots and our buttons so we can work out ways of being more honest and honoring in our communications.

What do you think?

Seeing Your Emotional Blind Spots – Martha Beck

What’s Your Blind Spot – Jane Taylor

6 Career Derailing Blind Spots and How to Overcome Them

How Successful People Cure Their Blind Spots – Kevin Kruse

How to Watch Out for Blind Spots in Your Leadership – Lolly Daskal

5) Taking Responsibility – You may be starting to expect in pretty much every Friday Faves that you’ll see a guitar arrangement by Beyond the Guitar and a life hack by Benjamin Hardy. You could be right. This week, Hardy posted an article on taking responsibility – What Happens When You Take Full Responsibility of Your Life. Photo Credit: Lakenheath

He talks about the hazards of indecision. Taking responsibility for our lives means to make decisions based on where you are and where you want to be at some future time. Life isn’t meant to happen haphazardly. Yet, because of our fear of failure or insecurity about making good decisions, we default to not making the decision. Then we languish in our current situation, losing ground even…rather than taking hold of our life and moving it in the direction we believe it’s meant to go.

Commitments are important to make and to keep. When we commit to something publicly, we have even more impetus to do what we’ve said we will do. This isn’t shaming or guilting…this is operating as a mature and responsible individual. These kinds of commitments also grease the tracks for success in that expressed decision.

Making a commitment means you’re seeing it through to the end. It means you’re leaving yourself no escape routes. You’re burning any bridges that might lead to lesser paths of distraction. Your decision has been made. There’s no going back. You’ve passed your point of no return.

Where decisions are made in a single moment, commitment is seeing those decisions into the future. Especially when life gets difficult. – Benjamin Hardy

A friend made the statement “You fake it until you make it.” I’ve heard that spoken before but never by her. “Faking it” is something that doesn’t fit this incredibly wise and reasoned woman. What she further explained though brought the meaning. So what if we aren’t sure of ourselves in the decision. What if our desire is to commit to something but we aren’t sure we can actually follow-through. Then we “fake it”, or really, in her further explanation – “You walk the talk until the talk becomes your walk”.  Make the decision; execute the decision.

Make the decision you want to. Eventually, you grow into that decision through your commitment and personal resolve. Your goals are something you grow into.

This isn’t faking anything.

It’s living with intention.

It’s living with definiteness of purpose.

So what’s the challenge?

Publicly commit to something to TODAY. – Benjamin Hardy

Thanks again, Benjamin Hardy…and Nathan Mills…and all of you have a safe and restful weekend. Live with intentionality, and be kind to yourselves. That kindness will splash out on others.

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5 Friday Faves – Reading Wars, Lord of the Rings on Guitar, Walking in America, Boomer Parents, and Susan Boyle

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You know the story…how fast this week (this month, this year) is flying by. No time to waste. So let’s get right with it. Five of my favorite finds this week.

  1. Reading Wars – What does that even mean, right? It’s the title of Philip Yancey‘s captivating article on waging battle on the mental clutter that crowds out even the possibility of deep thinking. What is our weapon against the onslaught of shallow that we expose ourselves through social media, email, and texting communication? Reading. Reading for learning. So simple and yet how many minutes a week do we commit to it?

“A commitment to reading is an ongoing battle, somewhat like the battle against the seduction of internet pornography. We have to build a fortress with walls strong enough to withstand the temptations of that powerful dopamine rush [which also happens with distracted media scanning] while also providing shelter for an environment that allows deep reading to flourish.” (Philip Yancey)

Photo Credit: Envision Experience

Sure, we can learn from what we find on social media. My friend Ann Lovell pointed us to this article through her Facebook page. If I just scan the article then I continue to “not” learn from it…as happens with most of the content that shows up in my various newsfeeds. This time…I’m taking it to heart. Yancey points out several cultural powerhouses who commit to a mininum of 5 hours of reading a week. I am joining them. Thanks, Mr. Yancey. Thanks, Ann.

[Sidebar: Whole cultures in the world prefer oral vs. written information delivery. Deep, detail-rich, reproducible storying. I wonder how these cultures are changing because of the same short-cut habits of sharing information we have developed here in the West. What do you think?

2) Lord of the Rings on Guitar – Nathan Mills of Beyond the Guitar posted another of his arrangements this week. This one is from the legend Lord of the Rings Trilogy. You who love LOTR as much as I do will recognize The Riders of Rohan. It is another great orchestral piece translated by Nathan to classical guitar (like Beyond the Guitar‘s recent Game of Thrones arrangement). Just beautiful. Takes us back to the glorious battles of Lord of the Rings.

3) Walking in America – I feel so fortunate to have neighbors who walk. They make it so easy for me to join in even 6 days a week. It’s amazing how such a simple exercise wakes up the brain and loosens up the body. Whether we can afford a gym or whatever our health situation, walking is something we can do for ourselves. [Winter pic, I know, but it shows these neighbors of mine are out walking in all kinds of weather.]

After seeing the video below comparing “Walking in America & Walking in South Korea” I am glad for an easy neighborhood to walk in. However, it’s also clear how those in huge cities make do, with walking and staying healthier.

Here’s How Much the Average American Walks Every Day – Laura Donovan

Here’s How People in 8 Other Countries Stay Healthy – Slideshow – Anna Medaris Miller

What Steps Data Tells Us About Country Lifestyles – Angela Chieh

4) Boomer Parents & Their Stuff – What are we going to do with all this stuff? Our parents’ stuff and our own. The kids just aren’t interested in it. Samantha Bronkar’s article on the subject is thought-provoking. What do we do with all the collections? All the unique, hand-worked furniture? All the china and glassware? When we start down-sizing, we may have to think creatively what we do to dispose of these treasures of years past. Any thoughts?Photo Credit: Pinterest

I wonder, if our civilization is around for another 100 years, what will be in our natural and civil history museums? There could be a gap with all the “stuff” that will go eventually into today’s landfills. Would love to hear your thinking on this…as one of the many with unwanted treasures.

5) Susan Boyle – Just a few years ago, a middle-aged Scottish woman walked on the stage of Britain’s Got Talent and shocked the world with her singing. On that night and the days that followed, everyone in the English-speaking world had heard of Susan Boyle. Here’s the performance that brought her celebrity and a place in our hearts:

Just this week, I heard her sing Unchained Melody. Still magical. Her lovely simplicity in demeanor and her mesmerizing voice are a powerful combo. Do you know what happened to her? She’s still out there and is now a wealthy woman still living in her small family home in West Lothian, Scotland. She had a dream…and it came true. Her life inspires us all.

Happy Weekend. Be safe and be inspired…so much to enjoy in this life and to take joy in…even in the hard.

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Worship Wednesday – I’m Just Unfinished – Mandisa

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Photo Credit: CBN

I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. – Philippians 1:6

So Jesus asked the Twelve, “Do you want to leave too?” Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God.” – John 6:67-69

Why are we so hard on ourselves and each other? Intuitively, we know in our core, that we can be better…and that others should be. We mark behavior. We analyze successes and failures. We self-reference. Am I measuring up? Are you measuring up? To what?

All this judging should completely wear us out. Yet…we become unaware we are even doing it. In fact, our bent toward judging is probably one of the reasons we (Christians and those who don’t follow Christ) struggle with addictions…to turn off that part of our brain. Unfortunately, the safeguard of judging (that of critical and logical thinking) is also impacted here.

This whole lifestyle of having opinions and being sometimes critical spills over into our faith. We judge God.

We judge God. Listen to that. How strange for the Created to question the mind of the Creator! Yet, we struggle with what we don’t understand. We shake our heads and raise our “why” to Heaven. Or worse…some precious ones walk away from God…disappointed.

Disappointment with God: Three Questions No One Asks Aloud – Philip Yancey

Christian artist Mandisa went through a very dark time spiritually and emotionally as she lost her best friend to cancer. Take the time to read her story, please. Her album Out of the Dark came out of her journey back to God after this terrible loss.

The song “Unfinished” (from that album) speaks so beautifully to our experience of not being where we want to be…hoped to be…and the truth of God’s work in us…and for us.

Worship with me.

Not scared to say it
I used to be the one
Preaching it to you
That you could overcome
I still believe it
But it ain’t easy

‘Cause that world I painted
Where things just all work out
It started changing
And I started having doubts
And it got me so down

But I picked myself back up
And I started telling me
No, my God’s not done
Making me a masterpiece
He’s still working on me

He started something good
And I’m gonna believe it
He started something good
And He’s gonna complete it
So I’ll celebrate the truth
His work in me ain’t through
I’m just unfinished

I know His history
And the kind of God He is
He might make it a mystery
But He’s proven I can trust in Him
And yeah, I believe it

Still working
Still, still working on me
He’s still working
Still, still working on me*

Mandisa’s Unfinished reminded me of an old praise chorus  sung by Steve Green.  Taken straight from Scripture, we are reminded that “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it”.

With all our travels, we’ve been to some of the world’s great museums. In them, often there’s a painting by one of the Masters…unfinished. The artwork still shows off the fine hand of the painter…but it is incomplete…without detail. Stopped abruptly.

For us, God has promised we won’t forever be unfinished. He will complete what He’s started in our lives. For this reason alone, we are called to be gentle with ourselves and with each other. Reminding ourselves that we all are works in progress.

As for our judging God, in the crush of disappointment or confusion? I always go back to Peter’s words to Jesus (John 6:67-69) – “To whom would we go?” No one…nothing…is like Him.

We don’t yet know how it all comes out…but we know God. He will finish what He has begun.

*Lyrics to Unfinished – Songwriters: Ben Glover and Colby Wedgeworth

Why Are People So Judgmental? – Quora

Why Are Christians So Judgmental? – Jason Malec

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5 Friday Faves – Journaling, What Ends All Marriages, Cell Phone Addiction, Trauma Healing, and Neighborhood Gelato

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Happy Friday! Cutting quickly to the chase here, with my favorite finds of the week:

1) Journaling – Writing is a favorite outlet of mine. When I write, it’s like talking to a trusted friend. Everything is clearer after. Less frightening, too, sometimes. that’s what reflection does for you. Journaling has been a life-long habit of mine. In fact, I’ve told my kids that when the time comes and they go through all the stuff in the attic, they might want to read some of the journals. Although, I also warned that anything shocking they read, I’ve probably long since worked through (hopefully).

Productivity coach Benjamin P. Hardy strongly encourages journaling as a daily early morning habit.

Do you write or journal? It’s worth a try. You never know what you might discover through writing out what is bouncing around inside your head.

Why Keeping a Daily Journal Can Change Your Life – Benjamin P. Hardy

2) What Ends All Marriages –
Meg Marie Wallace writes a chilling piece on the one thing guaranteed to end all marriages. In her article, she talks about marriages that survived adultery and other betrayals, as well as marriages that didn’t survive. Then she gave what she saw as the difference.Photo Credit: Edvard Munch, Wikipedia

Those whose marriages didn’t survive were those who allowed their hearts to grow cold and hard toward their spouse.

“In order for marriages to thrive BOTH people need to guard with all diligence against hardness of heart. It has no place in marriage, yet in big ways and in small ways we let it creep in. This hardness often begins so subtly, with the smallest acts of selfishness…but left unchecked can grow to become a raging fire of wrath, anger, hatred and bitterness.” – Meg Marie Wallace

Left. Unchecked. We must guard our hearts if we want our relationships (marriage and otherwise) to thrive in hard places.

Read Wallace’s piece. We can take hope and take charge of those hearts of ours.

3) Cell Phone Addiction – Jesse Lyn Stoner posted a powerful article, by Victor Prince, on the intrusion of cell phone technology in the workplace. The piece is Want Your Team More Engaged? Remove the Weapons of Mass Distraction . If we were honest, many of us struggle with this. I know I do. Take a minute to read Prince’s take on how to shake-up the workplace by confronting the distraction of our phones. I’m motivated. On both personal and professional fronts.Photo Credit: Andres Rodriguez, Flickr

4) Trauma Healing – After studying about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), I’ve become more interested in trauma healing. Wanting to be equipped, I went to a training this week. The American Bible Society offers a course especially geared toward those who want to serve people who’ve come through terrible lossPhoto Credit: BPNews

or trauma (refugees, anyone with PTSD, persons with addictions, fill-in-the-blank). The training is designed to help meet the needs of all people no matter the religion or background. Only one section is specific toward Christians.

Through role-play experiences, storying, dialog, writing and art exercises, the course facilitators guide participants how to recognize and lovingly intervene with those who have come through trauma. I was surprised myself how helpful the exercises were in helping me with some losses I’m still recovering from.

The written guide is an excellent tool for anyone and can be purchased online.

Healing the Wounds of Trauma – Harriet Hill, Margaret Hill, Richard Baggé, Pat Miersma

5) Neighborhood Gelato – Don’t you love those shops tucked into your neighborhood where you know the people behind the counter and the products are always amazing? One of those around here is The 21Hundred, named for its location on John Rolfe Parkway, in Richmond’s West End. It’s a cozy, friendly place where neighbors gather and others drive over to join them. Payton and Robyn Wilson, the proprietors, serve up espresso, gelato, and other yummy treats every day of the week but Sunday. They treat all of us like return customers, even when it’s the first visit. Check it out if you’re a Richmonder. If you’re not, tell us of a neighborhood favorite of your own.

Have a great weekend and be kind to one another. You never know what someone is going through.