Category Archives: Books

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Today Is The Day the Crayons Came Home and Two Other Worthy Reads

August 18, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Book-lovers are divided into three kinds of people – those who borrow books from the library, those who buy electronic versions to read on tablets of some sort, and people like me. I buy books. Usually online. Two days later they arrive and I love tearing open the cardboard box, and turning the pages of those anticipated books.

I might read one book right away, or save it for a plane trip, or file it into the stack of “next reads”. Today my pre-ordered copy of the just out The Day the Crayons Came Home arrived in that cardboard box.

This children’s story, written by Drew Daywalt and illustrated by Oliver Jeffers, is that best sort of book both kids and adults enjoy together. Its best-selling predecessor, The Day the Crayons Quit, is my current favorite children’s story. It sits on the bookshelf to the right of my work desk as my inspiration for the day I write such a book.

Both books tell the woes of various crayons in the possession of young Duncan. So funny, and so human…for crayons. Jeffers’ illustrations are the perfect match for Daywalt’s writing. You want to buy these books for your children, or yourself. Of course, you can borrow them from the library. Not me, but you can.

Two other great books came in today’s cardboard box…

Thanks for the Feedback is written by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen. They also authored the book Difficult Conversations, with Bruce Patton. I heard Sheila Heen speak about feedback at the Global Leadership Summit recently. It seems feedback is something we all want at work…until we get it. Stone and Heen talk about learning how to receive feedback well. My husband will read this book before me, but I look forward to tackling this subject and growing through it.

The third book that arrived today was Ed Catmull’s Creativity, Inc. It is a manual for managers who want to merge creativity and excellence. Catmull, one of the founders of Pixar Animation, and the president of Disney Animation Studios, was also a speaker at this year’s Global Leadership Summit. I’m excited to read Creativity, Inc. to apply his principles in my work and life among creative. I am also intrigued by his many stories of how he keeps the culture and operations so user-friendly for the artists and designers. Looking forward to learning more from him in this book.

This day delivered on great books. I may review them later, but for now I’m just looking forward to reading them myself. For the joy and for the empowering that come with good books.

What books are you reading these days? Would love to hear about them. Maybe I’ll order them, too.

Coming Soon [Today]…The Day the Crayons Came Home by Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers

Global Leadership Summit – 7 Take-Aways from Day One of #GLS15

Creativity, Inc. Quotes at Good Reads

The Pixar Way: 37 Quotes on Developing and Maintaining a Creative Company

Global Leadership Summit – 6 Take-Aways from Day 2 of #GLS15

Thanks for the Feedback Quotes at Good Reads

Slideshare – How to Give and Receive Feedback – The Triad Consulting Group – Sheila Heen & Douglas Stone (authors of Thanks for the Feedback)

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5 Friday Faves – a Book, a Chip, a Comedian, a Restaurant, & a Blogger

August 14, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

I have attending issues…hard for me to track solidly for a lot of time. So….I thought it would be fun just to throw up some favorites of mine for this Friday. Now, will this become a weekly offering? Maybe not…but maybe…we’ll see.

Also, I’m not really into favorites. Hard to pin down exactly what/who is my favorite in a given category. Like, I don’t do best friends – there are so many wonderful people out there who have been friends to me that how could I single one out. Nope, not going there.

For today, I have done the hard thing and picked a few favorites. As you’ll see, these are not earth-shattering or anything. Just don’t want you to miss them, in your own circle of life.

1. Favorite Book on Child-Rearing – Escaping the Endless Adolescence

Photo Credit: amazon.com

This book by a husband (professor) and wife (counselor) is amazing. The focus is on adolescence, as in figuring it out so your children don’t get stalled there into mid-life. The cool thing about this book, though, is that there is wisdom for parenting younger (even pre-school) children. Lots of great stories and wise counsel on how to parent budding adults (whatever their age). To engage in their world, to see their purpose, to show up. Yes!

Next up: Bringing Up Bébé

2. Favorite Chip – Cape Cod Kettle Cooked Chips (Original – 40% Reduced Fat)

My husband calls this the best chip in the world. Not too salty. Light but, at the same time substantive, (kettle cooked). We have eaten our way through this summer and will again be swearing off chips, and other such delights, pretty soon (like very soon). So I don’t have a runner-up for this category. These chips. Enough said.

3. Favorite Comedian – Michael Jr.Photo Credit: Twitter.com/Michaeljrcomedy

I love Michael, Jr. Just heard him speak/perform/fill the screen at Global Leadership Summit. He is so funny. You can find him on YouTube and he does this weekly feature called Break Time, through his website and YouTube. He is a comedian and he’s a Christian. So funny. Thought-provoking, clean, and just….so funny.

After, Michael Jr., it would be Taylor Mason.Photo Credit: mlive.com

4. Favorite Date-night Place in Our City – Shyndigz

Shyndigz is a dessert restaurant. They do have a brunch restaurant opening soon, but for now, it’s cake, pie, and cookies. So good. My favorite is the Fresh Fruit Cake. You can’t go wrong bringing a special date here. Sweet atmosphere. With a favorite beverage. Inside or in the garden. Love this place. Richmond, Va. Do you have something like this where you live?

Favorite Date Night Place that my husband will actually share with me (he wants “real food” on a date night) – O’Charley’s

5. Favorite Young Blogger I’m Following – Angela at Chocolate Raspberry Cream Pie

Photo Credit: Twitter.com

Angela is a no-holds-barred kind of young writer. She is honest – seriously and humorously honest – about her life. And funny. I actually know her so I can say that her writing totally reflects her in-person satire and searching. She introduces her blog as “about faith, goal setting, living on purpose, and the things that make life a little sweeter”. Her writing is just that.

No other blogger in this genre – they’re all older and have been at it longer.

So there’s my Friday Faves for this week – we’ll see where life takes me for next week. How about you? Any favorites you’d like to share? In these categories or others? I would love to hear them. Have a lovely weekend – discovering or appreciating or revisiting some of your favorites.

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Waiting

August 8, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. –Psalm 27:13-14

Waiting. Most of the time we take it as part and parcel of life. Waiting for the first tomatoes of summer. For the call to board the plane. For just the right moment when you pull the brownies out of the oven. For…and this is the best waiting of all… the phone call that the baby is on her way.

Other times waiting is hard. Like waiting for the diagnosis. For the announcement of whether or not you still have a job. Waiting for the “I love you” or “I forgive you” or “Everything’s going to be alright.” Or the non-communication screaming that maybe everything is not all right. Waiting is hard.

We fill our calendars with work and play, appointments and dates. We don’t want to lose a moment of life to the unplanned. On this summer Saturday, the fatigue of a full week caught up with me, and I lost a gorgeous afternoon to sleep and sleepy reflection.

That’s when the waiting surfaced in my thoughts.

I don’t know about you, but for me, when life gets quiet, the waiting gets the loudest. With it are the answers my brain creates in the face of non-answers. I was at a conference this week where Brené Brown talked about this very thing.

Brown said in the face of non-communication, or being disconnected, our brains are wired to come up with the conversation that we haven’t had…our version of what that conversation would be. How those conversations (in our heads) go depend on how waiting has taken its toll on us.

We wait on that phone call, text, or email…and the longer it takes to come, the more we think ill of what’s happening with that person or our relationship or our work situation. In the waiting, we may panic, or we decide proactively that it doesn’t matter, we don’t care, he/she/it is not worth it.

The sooner I can move the waiting on a person or life situation to a different object, that being God, the faster peace is restored in my thoughts. That’s what happened for me this afternoon….

In the midst of my struggle, with waiting on so many things…God broke through. He helped me rein in my stampeding thoughts, through the quiet of our back yard…and the writing of Andrew Murray.

“The only difference between nature and grace is this, that what the trees and the flowers do unconsciously, as they drink in the blessing of the light, is to be with us a voluntary and a loving acceptance. Faith, simple faith in God’s word and love, is to be the opening of the eyes, the opening of the heart, to receive and enjoy the unspeakable glory of His grace. And just as the trees, day by day, and month by month, stand and grow into beauty and fruitfulness, just welcoming whatever sunshine the sun may give, so it is the very highest exercise of our Christian life just to abide in the light of God, and let it, and let Him, fill us with the life and the brightness it brings.” – Andrew Murray, Waiting for God

“Let waiting be our work, as it is His. And, if His waiting is nothing but goodness and graciousness, let ours be nothing but a rejoicing in that goodness, and a confident expectancy of that grace. And, let every thought of waiting become to us the simple expression of unmingled and unutterable blessedness, because it brings us to a God who waits that He may make Himself known to us perfectly as the gracious One. My soul, wait thou only upon God!” Andrew Murray, Waiting for God

“Father, teach us all how to wait.” – Andrew Murray, Waiting for God

Teach me to wait on You, O God…and everything else will order itself in Your kind and loving hands. I determine to rest in You.

Goodreads Quotes from Andrew Murray’s Waiting for God

Waiting on God by Andrew Murray

The Waiting is the Hardest Part by David Mathis

5 reasons God Makes us Wait by Eric Speir

Waiting on God – How Do We Wait? – by Sylvia Gunter

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Global Leadership Summit – 6 Take-Aways from Day 2 of #GLS15

August 7, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: thecrossingchurchnj.org

Below are my take-aways from Day 2 of the Global Leadership Summit. Register now for 2016. Life-transforming.

Horst Schulze (Chairman/CEO, Capella Hotel Group; Founding President & Former COO, The Ritz-Carlton Group):

Mr. Schulze gave the Summit audience a primer on how to create and lead in world class service. Foundational to his philosophy is that people matter – ” we are to care about people (our employees and our customers) and we work with excellence”.

He has a canon and 24 Standards of service* that all the Capella Hotel Group employees are expected to execute. Not just as part of the function of their job, but because they matter – the people and the service.

In terms of service, we want 3 things:

No defect – You want the product to be defect-free (subconscious expectation).
Timeliness – You want timeliness. [In old days, check-in was 4 minutes to be good; today it’s 20 seconds.]
Caring – You want the people who give you the product to be nice to you (that’s why we call it service).

“The #1 driver of service and therefore customer loyalty is being nice.”

Service starts at the first contact.

Welcome

Comply with caring [give the customer what he wants]

Farewell

You can move a customer very quickly from satisfaction to loyalty.Photo Credit: liberty.edu

Sheila Heen (Founder, Triad Consulting Group; Faculty, Harvard Law School; Co-Author with Douglas Stone of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science & Art of Receiving Feedback Well):

Ms. Heen talked about feedback and the skill of receiving feedback well. A Harvard Law School professor, she also speaks/consults internationally on negotiation and conflict resolution. With this background, she gave the Summit audience helps on how important feedback is and not to miss it, even in the tension of a difficult or unfair situation.

Photo Credit: triadconsultinggroup.com

“Feedback is my relationship with the world and the world’s relationship with me. Part of the problem with feedback is that it sits at the junction of two core human needs. On the one hand, we do want to learn to grow. On the other hand, we need to feel accepted, respected and loved the way we are now.”

“3 Different Kinds of Feedback with Very Different Purposes (we need all three kinds to learn and grow).

Evaluation – rates or ranks you against a set of criteria or against your peers. Defining the relationship. Cholesterol. Performance review.

Coaching – Anything that helps you get better or learn. Mentoring. Advice. Suggestions. Correction.

Appreciation – says ‘I see you.’ ‘I get you.’ ‘You matter around here.’”

“The [feedback] model for us is Jesus Christ. He accepts us just the way we are right now, in all our brokenness, and at the same time, he challenges us to learn and grow.”

Brian Houston (Founder & Global Senior Pastor, Hillsong Church; Author of Live, Love, Lead: Your Best Is Yet to Come):

Pastor Houston was my biggest surprise of the day. As a mega-church pastor with campuses not just all across Australia but all across the world, I thought he would be a polished, fine-tuned speaking machine. [Forgive me that, Brother Brian.] There was a gentleness and humility in him birthed out of hard times, struggle, and loss…filled in by God’s matchless grace. He shared some of his life story through a Q & A with Bill Hybels. It was a beautiful tribute to the love and power of God reflected in a life fully surrendered to Him. We will be buying his book Live, Love, Lead.

“I love what I do. I love the Lord and I love the church. I love people ultimately. That motivation has never left me. Even on the darkest days. In the biggest challenges. If you keep showing up, even when you get knocked down, God will be with you. Longevity is the greatest thing you can have for the glory of the Lord.“

Sam Adeyemi (Founder & Senior Pastor, Daystar Christian Centre in Nigeria):

Pastor Adeyemi talked about growing up in a culture of leaders and followers where a hierarchical (or power) distance was common. Then He spoke of Jesus’ leadership and how God means for us to lead, including closing the gap between people.

“You will not find the definition of success for your ministry or organization until you help the people [God] sent to you to succeed. The object of leadership for many leaders is their own success, but the object of Christ’s leadership was the success of His followers.”

“Following you, [as a leader], should hold the promise of life change for those who follow you.”

“God calls us to create new power structures where power is used appropriately. Jesus gave his disciples authority and power. He gave power away.”Photo Credit: preachit.com.ng

Liz Wiseman (President, The Wiseman Group; Author of Rookie Smarts: Why Learning Beats Knowing in the New Game of Work):

Liz talked about the upside of being a rookie in the workplace.

“As Rookies – We operate in simple, small, gritty and powerful ways.

With experience comes knowledge, responsibility. Once we have knowledge, we tend to make assumptions, and we can make bad assumptions. Our minds sometimes fill in what is not actually there.”

“Leaders who master the art of pivot – as leader and learner (regaining your rookie smarts). Experiment – Throw away your notes. Ask the Questions (shift from knowing and operate from a place of inquiry). Operate from a mode of curiosity. Admit what you don’t know. Let someone else lead. Disqualify yourself (put yourself at the bottom of a new learning curve). Lead your team into the unknown. Set the stretch. As you grow as a leader, don’t forget to be a learner.”

Craig Groeschel (Founder & Senior Pastor, LifeChurch.tv):

Late on a Friday afternoon, full of words from all these other great leaders, Craig Groeschel powerfully and graciously took the stage. He encouraged us on how to build capacity. [This is actually a recent favorite topic of mine with the Lord and those I love.] Taking his text from Ephesians 3:20-21, Pastor Groeschel spoke from experience of how God will work in lives available to Him in ways we can’t even imagine. With that introduction, he dug into some exquisitely practical counsel on how to increase our leadership capacity.

5 Different C’s to Expand Your Leadership Capacity – Choose one to work on.

Build your confidence.
Expand your connections.
Improve your competence.
Strengthen your character.
Increase your commitment.

Groeschel gave plenty of examples from his own life of what these might look like, and honestly, his teaching was so clear, we knew right away which one’s we would be working on, in the days ahead.

The Global Leadership Summit was also punctuated with videos of “Grander Vision” stories – people from all over the world who took seriously what they’d learned at previous Summits and went out and changed their worlds. We also enjoyed stirring worship moments, including a song set that Bill Hybels introduced as music soothing to our leader souls. Sometimes when nothing else seems to help, Hybels said, music can remind us of the nearness of God. Photo Credit: Twitter.com/wcagls

All this….and Michael Jr.

Thank you, Bill Hybels, and the Willow Creek Association, and all those leaders – who help make the many host sites possible and who demonstrate how possibilities can become realities when we lead well.

Photo Credit: twitter.com/michaeljrcomedy

*Capella Hotel Group’s Canon & 24 Service Standards – established by the founder and chairman Horst Schulze

Slideshare – How to Give and Receive Feedback – The Triad Consulting Group – Sheila Heen & Douglas Stone (authors of Thanks for the Feedback)

Global Leadership Summit – Register for 2016

Grander Vision Stories & Videos – Follow the GLS – Willow Creek Association

Twitter Account for Willow Creek Association – for #GLS15 comments and quotes and links to videos, articles, resources

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Global Leadership Summit – 7 Take-Aways from Day One of #GLS15

August 6, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: thecrossingchurchnj.org

Today I participated in the Global Leadership Summit at a satellite site near Richmond, Virginia. It was my first time, but I hope not to miss another. It is best described on the website- “a world-class experience designed to help you get better and embrace your grander vision—the reason God called you to lead. Broadcast LIVE in HD from Willow’s campus near Chicago to over 375 Premier Host Sites in North America and later around the world, you are invited to join an expected 260,000 leaders in 2015.”

7 great leaders spoke today, and 6 others will speak tomorrow. The experience was so meaningful and beneficial to me where I am currently in life, but I would recommend it to anyone whatever your situations.

Following are the briefest of 7 take-aways that are still buzzing around in my head. So much to process. Here’s a start.

Bill Hybels (founder/senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church; chairman of the Willow Creek Association which launched the Global Leadership Summit in 1995):

“Leadership is [simply] moving people from here to there.”

“Armed with enough humility we can learn from anyone.”

Hybels reflected on Richard Davis’ book The Intangibles of Leadership – and developed his own list of 5 intangibles for leaders:Photo Credit: jobsforlife.org

He challenged us to discover the “white-hot why” of our lives – the why of what we do – what really matters for us. For Hybels, it’s “transforming lives”. He is a living example of being faithful to that “why”.

Jim Collins (best-selling author of Good to Great):

Jim Collins talked about what he learned as the recent Chair (2012-2013) for the Study of Leadership at the United States Military Academy at West Point. He reported that: creating a culture out of which great leaders are developed must include

Serving a cause we can be passionate about and for which we would be willing to suffer;
Growing through difficulty; and
Succeeding by helping those around us.

“We succeed at our very best only when we help others succeed. We respond to our own difficulties by reaching out and saying ‘Let me help you.’ To communicate to others: ‘You are never alone.'”

“The greatest leaders find a way to make a contribution, a distinctive impact, on people, on real-live flesh and blood people.”

Ed Catmull (Co-Founder of Pixar Animation Studios; President of Walt Disney Animation Studios; Author of Creativity, Inc.):

Catmull wanted to be an animator from the time he was a child but couldn’t see a path to follow that dream. He ended up studying physics in college.Photo Credit: brainpickings.org

“Science and art are not incongruous. Art isn’t about drawing; it’s about learning to see. Which business or professions do you not want to have enhanced ability to see?”

He talked further about 3 processes in film-making, all relating to accountability:

Teams working together (using a Brain Trust – a group of colleagues all acting as peers, with vested interest, giving feedback;
When failures happen in production – embracing [failure] but at the same time dealing with it with both total candor and kindness; and
Operating within constraints (a budget) – actually pushes creativity higher and delivers better outcomes.

“Stories influence the world. We want to use story-telling for good.”

Adam Grant (Professor, Wharton School of Business; Author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success)

Grant talked about the three kinds of persons you find in the workplace…well, anywhere really: 1) Givers, 2) Takers, and 3) Matchers. After defining each of these and how they interact with each other in the workplace (buy the book), he prescribed ways to build a work culture. A work culture of generosity – the work culture that especially develops the givers, which brings the others along as well.

His three challenges were:

Keep the wrong people off the bus. Get rid of the takers.
Redefine giving. [He talked about the 5-minute favor and the 100 hours of volunteering across a year – these micro-lessons of generosity.]
Encourage help-seekers. – Developing the givers will nurture a culture of “How can I be the rising tide that lifts all boats?” – a Reciprocity Ring.

Dr. Brené Brown (Research Professor, University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work; Author of Rising Strong):

“Our brain is neuro-biologically hard-wired in the instant of a [hard time; difficult conversation] to make up a story as to what happened. If we can give our brain a story when something hard happens, we are rewarded by our brain (dopamine). Our brain rewards us whether the story is accurate or not. Our worthiness as people lives inside these stories. When we pretend or deny the story, it owns us. When we own the story, we get to write the ending.”

Photo Credit: TheGuardian.com

Transformational leaders: 1. Do discomfort. 2.They have absolute emotional awareness about their own life, and about the people around them.

“We can’t ignore emotion. We are emotional people who sometimes think. Emotion dictates behavior. If you speak to the way they think or their behaviors, without speaking to their emotions, they will not change. Speak to their emotions. Curiosity and lines of inquiry are the greatest tools of leaders. ‘Help me understand’. “

Sallie Krawcheck (Chair of Ellevate Network; Former President, Bank of America’s Global Wealth & Investment Management):

“The retirement savings crisis is a women’s crisis – we retire with 2/3 the retirement income as men and live 6-8 years longer than men. I love men. I’m married to a man. But you guys are going to die, and we as women will be living with this crisis.”

“My “‘white-hot why’ is advancing women, elevating women. “

“I work every day as though my children are watching me.”

Albert Tate (Founder/Senior Pastor of Fellowship Monrovia, Southern California):

Pastor Tate preached (and I mean preached) on the miracle of Jesus’ feeding of the 5000 (John 6:1-13), using the five loaves of bread and two fish brought to Him from a boy in the crowd.

Tate renounced the leadership lie of “leaving it all on the field”.

“One of the most key things we can do as leaders as to bring what we have, give it to Jesus, and then get out of the way.”

“Leaders, you don’t have to go home on empty. You don’t have to leave it all on the field. Christ left it all on the Cross. Bring what you have. Whatever you have, give it back to Him. Then get out of the way, and watch in awe and wonder at what He does.”

These are just 7 take-aways of the 20 pages of notes I took during today’s Summit. Such great teaching – inspiring, empowering, mystifying, really.

Download the Global Leadership Summit app. Read what you can (in these authors’ books and via all the online resources – articles, blogs, video). Take down the dates for the Global Leadership Summit of 2016 and plan to register early.

Being the leader we hope to be is within our reach.

Post-Script: Michael Jr. was on and off stage to make us laugh and to look at life from just a bit of a different angle. Love him!

Photo Credit: MichaelJrComedy

Global Leadership Summit – Willow Creek Association

Global Leadership Summit App

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Collaborative Conversations – Quotes to Stir Your Thinking on Leadership and Language in Workplace Decision-making

August 3, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: AJCarlisle.files.wordpress.com

Change is normal, and resisting change is normal as well. You may be part of an organization or company where sweeping changes are being implemented, even this week. Or maybe you are not on the inside loop of these decisions, so you are not privy to the change coming. Whether you are part of that process or not, consider how you might have a role in making change work, in your sphere of influence, among your colleagues.

You may already have read and profited from the book Crucial Conversations. Now consider collaborative conversations. Collaboration, simply defined, is “working together towards shared goals”. Collaborative conversations bring a collective intelligence to bear on the problem to be solved, vision to be defined, or direction to be changed.Photo Credit: ThoughtFarmer.com

David Perkins, a Harvard professor, wrote about collaborative conversations in the workplace, using the metaphor of King Arthur’s round table. He described the beneficial nature of bringing several principal players (or stakeholders) to the table and treating each one with an equal or autonomous voice.

“A round table makes it a little easier to pool mental effort. A round table makes a group a little more intelligent…For a group to display intelligence in a sustained way, the members have to value their exchanges and stick together to keep making them. This depends on positive symbolic conduct [side messages sent by our words and behavior]…and collaboration… It’s not ideas, but people with ideas that make things happen.” – David Perkins

“One of the simplest ways to immunize a culture against broken trust, corruption, and animosity is to build a common vision.” – David Perkins

Perkins’ book King Arthur’s Round Table: How Collaborative Conversations Create Smart Organizations is a tremendous resource in developing this kind of decision-making work environment. An Executive Book Summary* can help you get started.

I personally thrive in such a setting and intuitively understand the value-adding nature of collaborative conversations. In researching this workplace topic, and choosing the links below, I came across a fascinating paper** by Heather Davis, a professor of RMIT University Australia.

Davis presented her paper at the 14th International Conference on Thinking (2009, Malaysia). She discussed how workplace leaders often choose “languages of war” in making and communicating decisions and creating change. Her paper is heady stuff but if you read her thoughts below you will want to read the whole paper. It gives huge support to the role of collaborative conversations.

“In [leadership’s] ‘language of zealous allegiance’, there are expectations of allegiance [in the workplace] that lay a path for uncritical acceptance and passivity. This manifests in an expectation that followers be conscripted wholly to the cause. There is little room for questioning. [Davis quotes Hage]: “Conscription means one important thing: there is no questioning of orders, one only executes them; ‘either you’re with us or you’re against us’. “ (Hage, 2004, p. 3).””

“Rhetoric plays out in the workplace too and can be tested by how well leaders:

hear and acknowledge the ‘other’ point of view,
see the ‘other’ as people rather than pawns or simply abstractions,
manage the distance, materially and metaphorically, between themselves and the people and sites affected by their decisions.”

“In the corporate world there are many examples of executives living and working in gated communities or otherwise removed by dint of corporate hierarchy or geography from the people and conditions affected by their decisions. Often, these leaders are also surrounded by people who can only agree, leading to little opportunity for double loop learning or deeply reasoned decision making processes. Whether our leaders live in gated communities is their business, but if they think, work and take refuge within a ‘gated’ mindset then we all need to be concerned. These conditions lead to hubris and have been the undoing of many leaders and corporations.”

“[Leadership’s] language of regrettable necessity translates directly to the “There Is No Alternative”. [This strategy] is used to always move the focus of discussion away from any big picture ‘why’ questions. This is done by shifting the focus to discussions only about the budget pie or, more particularly, the piece of the budget pie that is contestable. People find themselves fighting for a slice of the budget pie and energies focus only on the ‘pie’ and getting the biggest piece of it. This shifts the focus from larger issues such as whether the budget is set correctly, what has been included and what has been excluded. Thinking about alternatives is never an option.”

“The role of the organisation is ‘to know its purpose and not be diverted from it’ (Drucker, 1993). This is a timely reminder here – easier said than done in times of flux, complexity and discontinuous change.”

“Language is the visible tip of the cultural iceberg that largely remains hidden.”

“Perkins (2007) used two metaphors in his presentation and so far I have only privileged the five languages of war metaphor in this discussion. The other metaphor used was the “five languages of peace”. The main difference between Perkins’ languages of war and peace are that the war metaphor is founded on exclusivity and a preference for limiting discourse to its [leadership’s] own narrowly defined boundaries. Perkins’s peace metaphor is founded on inclusivity and opening up the space for conversations and conflicting views [i.e., collaborative conversations].”

“Oppositional language and the pitting of one deeply held worldview against another will not lead to resolving the underlying problems of the workplace. Rather, space for conversations to surface underlying assumptions is required. Perkins’ language of peace metaphor confirms that that there are always other lenses to view the world through, not just the one that [leadership] prefers.”

Provocative reading from this Australian educator. Bottom line: Those of us in leadership carry a great burden of responsibility. We at times must make difficult and sometimes painful decisions. Adding voices to that decision-making can generate even more challenging processes to negotiate. Still, we will make more sustainable decisions for “better futures” if we bring those most affected (or most experienced or insightful) to the table. Whenever possible. That’s the gain of collaborative conversations – working together toward shared vision and shared ownership.

Stay engaged in your workplace. You can make a difference.

*King Arthur’s Round Table – How Collaborative Conversations Create Smart Organizations by David Perkins – an Executive Book Summary

Leadership Lessons from King Arthur – a Review of Harvard Professor David Perkins’ book King Arthur’s Round Table

How to Lead When Change is the New Normal

The Art of Collaboration (Collaborative Behaviors) – by Steve Dale (includes a SlideShare)

Collaboration: What Does It Really Mean?

**Troubling Invisible Barriers to Better Futures: Surfacing the “Five Languages of War” in the Workplace – a scholarly paper by Heather Davis, presented at the 14th International Conference on Thinking

The Five Literacies of Global Leadership – What Authentic Leaders Know and You Need to Find Out – by David Hames – Business Book Summary

What Is a Coaching Conversation? from Opening the Door to Coaching Conversations by Linda Gross Cheliotes and Marceta Fleming Reilly

The Perils of Indifference – a Speech by Elie Wiesel

Cutting Through the Hype – What “Collaboration” Really Means – ThoughtFarmer.com

Making the Workforce Work! The Collaborative Workforce Initiative

Bookmarked Summer, Books, Contentment, Faithfulness, God, Jesus, Love, Redeeming & Restoring, Rest, steadfast love, Transformational, Walk with God, Worship

Worship Wednesday – Rest – The Unmistakable Presence of the Holy Spirit of God – with Bryan & Katie Torwalt

July 29, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” – Exodus 33:14

There is nothing like the deep rest, the divine peace, that comes in the presence of the Holy Spirit of God. It is unmistakable because it is wholly unlike anything else we ever experience.

God was very present with us at the passing of our Mom – the rock of our family. Watching our friends recently walk through the Home-going of their dear wife, mother, grandmother, and friend was another picture of the drawing near of a merciful God – our shelter in that storm of life.

I’ve written before of our experience of Nathan Mills‘ Senior Guitar Concert. In preparing his pieces for the concert, he added hours of practice to an already full playing schedule. Out of that, he developed a hand injury that required him to “rest” his hands for 2 weeks prior to his concert. He still “played” in his head, as guitarists do, but he came into the concert with rested hands when practiced hands would have been better. Or so he thought.

He played so well, it was as if the hand of God Himself was on Nathan. Even as the pain broke through, he was able to come to a beautiful finish.

Afterward, in viewing some of video of the concert, there was some sort of artifact (light bouncing off the face of his guitar, or something) which appeared as a shaft of light tracing vertically down through his playing hand. Like the enabling power of God. Not intending to over-spiritualize, it was a reflection of our experience of that concert. Knowing of his pre-concert uncertainty and then the pain returning, yet watching him play and hearing that glorious sound. It was a God moment for us.

God does show up in our lives more than we allow ourselves to even imagine. Often, it is in a time of wrestling or a dark night of the soul.

An excerpt follows from the book The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldridge. Brent describes a crisis phone call from a counseling client, and the deep experience of God’s presence:

“Once we begin thinking of all the deceptions the enemy is about with regard to our lives, we have a tendency to become obsessed with him, fearful of what he is going to do next. Once we take him seriously, he switches from his tactic of “I’m not here” to one of having us worry about him day and night, which is almost a form of worship. God graciously showed me this several years ago while I was in the midst of an intense, three-year spiritual battle on behalf of a client who had spent years in the control of a satanic cult.

One night, David (not his real name) called me on the phone at three in the morning, in the midst of painful spiritual torment. We talked and prayed and I began to read from the Psalms. Finally, I could hear by his deep breathing that he had fallen asleep. As I lay on my dining room floor, pondering whether to leave the phone off the hook and build up a huge phone bill or hang up and risk having the beeping of the phone-off-the-hook signal wake David, something wonderful and strange took place.

In my heart, I heard a voice say, “Brent, forget about the battle. You’re here with me now. Rest.” I looked up, actually expecting to see God in some way, or perhaps an angel. What I did see was the light in the room change. I find myself wanting to say it grew more distinct, almost more personal. I only know I discovered that my hand was raised in the air in worship. I didn’t decide to raise it. I am not, by any means, an expressive person in the charismatic sense of the word. It was simply as if there was no other appropriate response and my hand acted accordingly. For several minutes I basked in what I can only describe now as God’s warmth and love toward me. The epiphany ended with me reading the Twenty-third Psalm and others it seemed the Lord had chosen to assure me that I was not alone in the battle.”

We are not alone. God’s Spirit is with us and brings us into His rest.

Worship with me with Francesca Battistelli’s singing of Holy Spirit (written by Bryan & Katie Torwalt):

There’s nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You’re our living hope
Your presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord

CHORUS
Holy Spirit, You are welcome here
Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere
Your glory, God, is what our hearts long for
To be overcome by Your presence, Lord

There’s nothing worth more
That could ever come close
No thing can compare
You’re our living hope
Your presence, Lord

I’ve tasted and seen
Of the sweetest of loves
Where my heart becomes free
And my shame is undone
Your presence, Lord

CHORUS

Let us become more aware of Your presence
Let us experience the glory of Your goodness

CHORUS

Lyrics to Holy Spirit at K-Love – Songwriters: Bryan & Katie Torwalt

YouTube Video – Bryan & Katie Torwalt – Holy Spirit (Live @ JCEncounter 2013)

YouTube Video – Story Behind the Song – Holy Spirit

YouTube Video – Francesca Battistelli – Holy Spirit

The Sacred Romance (1997) by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge

Worship Wednesday – Stones of Remembrance – 12 Occasions Where We Saw God Act Mightily (Part 2)

The Sacred Romance Quotes at Goodreads.com

Notes and Quotes from The Sacred Romance

More Notes and Quotes from The Sacred Romance

My Favorite Literature – The Sacred Romance

The Sacred Romance: Quotes

Suffering

Attending or Focus, Bookmarked Summer, Books, Character, Courage, Do Over, fresh start, Hustle, Inspired, Jon Acuff, Lessons Learned, Monday Morning Moment, Relationships, Skills, Transformational, work

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

July 27, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Turning that last page of a great book is both satisfying and a bit sad. Satisfying in that I have gained so much insight and empowerment in reading Jon Acuff’s Do Over. Sad in that I will miss this super-practical literary journey with Acuff. Such a great read and such a fascinating journey. Looking forward to your next project, Jon.

[Jon Acuff’s words are in italics or bold font. Enjoy.]

Jon starts his section on hustle with a quote by Jack Gilbert: “Music is in the piano only when it is played.” Writing as a not-so-musical member of a musical family, I resonate with this.

In Do Over, hustle is defined as “shorthand for ‘work hard’. Hustle is not just something we add to our Career Savings Account. It is something that multiples everything else we have in it.”

Remember Jon’s formula in Do Over:

(Relationships + Skills + Character) x Hustle = Career Savings Account

To apply hustle, you need grit, flexibility and awareness. As I plowed through Jon Acuff’s writing on hustle, it became very clear that to go after our dreams we have to let go of fear and doubt, all the “what-if’s”, and take hold of what we have to do to get us where we hope to go. It’s work. It’s doable, but we can’t go into it half-way. It takes grit.

“Fear hates hustle. Nothing enrages fear like deciding to actually work hard…Grit is being stubborn in the face of fear. Grit is believing in can when can’t is loud.” – Jon Acuff

Stephen Pressfield says, “The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist.” (p. 213)

Photo Credit: nathanmillsguitar.com

Flexibility enters in when you refuse to have a narrow view of perfection or success. Instead of believing fear’s lie of “I don’t have what it takes,” flexibility gives you the courage to say, “I have what it takes to try.”

“Fear is not the same thing as regret. Regret is a small stream that cuts a canyon into your heart slowly over time. Will you face the fear of today or the regret of forever? Will you attack your fear of failure, maybe even fail and try again?” – Jon Acuff

Make Grit Decisions.

Here is what Jon says every grit decision needs:

Time – we think the world “hustle” has to mean fast, but it can also mean focus, intention, pace.
Counsel – Lean on your relationships. Some of the worst decisions are made alone. Who are your advocates? Have you given them time to reflect on it or are you rushing right by the wisdom they have to offer? Let them speak into it. A year from now, looking back on the decision, you’ll be glad you made it as a team.
Questions – Always ask awesome opportunities, awesome questions. We skimp on due diligence. “What am I not seeing right now?”
Kindness – Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision, because…you’re going to. Break the tension of feeling like you’re going to be perfect by giving yourself some kindness from the outset.
Honesty – When you look back on a decision, remember that you made that decision with the best information you had at the time.

Acuff encourages the reader to build a Grit List – those things you may not want to do but you know they are the things that will get you in position to take advantage of that career opportunity (stronger relationships, sharpened skills, deeper character). For Jon, one of those things was e-mail. He reconciled the hard work of writing and responding to e-mail in a wise and timely fashion. What would be on your Grit List?

Be aware. “The first half of hustle is addition [new relationships, new skills and new character], but you don’t get to add anything to your life unless you remove something else…You’ll need to find space in your life. “

Photo Credit: acuff.me

My husband says, “Whenever you say yes to something, you have to say no to something else.” What will you say no to, to say yes to this?

In review, at some point during your career you will:

Hit a Career Ceiling and get stuck, requiring sharp skills to free yourself.
Lose a job unexpectedly, or need one upon graduating, requiring strong relationships to survive.
Make a Career Jump, requiring solid character to navigate the chaos that jumps always generate.
And finally, in the case of hustle, you will get a surprise opportunity you didn’t see coming, requiring smart hustle to make the most of it. In moments like that, you’ll need awareness to recognize what to do, grit to actually do it and flexibility to respond to the surprises.

Jon tells story after story in his section on Hustle about ordinary people who overcame their fears and doubts and worked hard to have the careers they wanted. “Every Do Over avoided because of fear fails. Hustle, grit, and flexibility is ‘crawling through a window when the door is slammed shut.'”

“Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other.” – Mary Caroline Richards

Why not me? Why not now? Why not here?

“You really think you can do this?” You’ve probably asked yourself that question. Fear loves that question. On a walk in the woods, on a calm spring day I answered it for myself. “Apparently, I can.”

Finally Jon Acuff looks us straight in the eye, kindly, and says, “I think that can be your answer too. Do you think you can have a Do Over?

Apparently, you can.

[Buy Jon’s book, subscribe to his blog, follow him on Facebook and Twitter, listen to his podcasts. I don’t say this casually. He has won an audience by doing all the hard things he encourages the reader to do and then sharing what he’s learned for pennies when you think how much your life is worth. I’m on my own Do Over. Going for it. Thanks again, Jon.]

Photo Credit: SmartCreativeWomen.com

My Previous Blogs on Jon Acuff’s Do Over – Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 – Today’s Blog is final piece in Series

YouTube Video – Jon Acuff’s Top Tips on Hustle (in 1 Minute)

Jon Acuff Hustle Archives

Jon Acuff Starts Over

Start: Jon Acuff on Rescuing Time, Hustle, and His Book Start – Podcast

What Hustling Means, with Jon Acuff – Podcast

Attending or Focus, Bookmarked Summer, Books, Character, Courage, Do Over, Faithfulness, fresh start, Growing up, Inspired, Life Skills, Marriage, Monday Morning Moment, Relationships, Skills, Social Media, Transformational, work, Workplace or Marketplace

Jon Acuff on Character at Work – 9 Quotes & a Challenge – Part 4 of the Do Over Series

July 20, 2015 admindeb 5 Comments

Photo Credit: Nancy Ray Photography

Who would have thought reading a business book would become a deeply personal experience? Encouraging. Empowering. Do Over has launched itself in my life. Jon (the writer) and Jenny (the wife) Acuff have become like good friends, in a virtual book-driven way. He’s clearly a funny, risk-taking, keen observer of people in the workplace. She, on the other hand, seems to both hold his feet to the ground and spur him on to what’s next. I’m pretty certain that Jon’s “do over” has Jenny written all over it. Thank you, Jenny.

When he talks about character (in the section of the book I’m covering today), he compares it to planting fruit trees. Character takes time to grow. Its fruit is worth the work and the wait.

As in previous blogs in this series, Jon will do most of the talking.

9 quotes follow. Also an exercise and a closing challenge. I hope you read the book. It is seriously, or not so much seriously, like grappling with a friend about a deep longing for career. Then receiving the best. advice. ever. Jon’s cool, and all…but his own fight for humility and honesty and his own fears and failures give him a platform. A platform to talk into my life and into the lives of those I love the most – my husband and my adult children. Thank you, Jon.

So here’s a bit of what he says about character and its impact on us in the workplace…especially in considering a Career Jump.

“Relationships get you the first gig. Skills get you the second. Character is the reason that people will still want to give you another chance if the first opportunity fails. Character is the mortar between all the other parts [relationships, skills, hustle] of the Career Savings Account. It’s what holds the other things together. “

“Character is also what you need the most when you make a positive, voluntary career transition, or what we’re calling a “Career Jump.” You need it the most then because it will be tested the most when you ‘just go for it’ or ‘chase a dream’.”

“When you make a [career] jump, you will be tempted to cut corners, to quit when the going gets tough and lose your patience when the results you expected don’t immediately happen. It is your character that will push you forward.”

Exercise: This time we don’t use note cards, but a notebook would be handy. Jon asks the question: What’s one character trait, related to your career, that you’d like to grow stronger? That’s where we start. You might still want a friend’s help in this. None of us are perfect, so it shouldn’t be too difficult. Just pick one to start.

As part of this exercise, consider those weeds in the workplace that could choke out that character trait you’re planting and nurturing. Jon lists four especially nasty (and all too common) ones:

Narcissism – our focus is all on ourselves. Weighing every decision and process in your workplace as it relates to you.
Dishonesty – Covering a mistake, embellishing our performance, gossiping, outright lying.
Pessimism – That negative cup-half-empty (or even broken) take on how things are going at work. It’s not just a weed in your own orchard but it can seed clouds over your coworkers’ view of work. Pessimism can rob you of the ability to brainstorm and to dream (“two activities that require the optimism of creativity”).
Apathy – you’ve gotten to the place you just don’t care anymore. What was once being passive now becomes deeply defiant. Partnered with pessimism, you convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to do a Career Jump. A dry and dogged inertia can set in, crippling your ability to orchestrate a Career Jump.

Acuff focuses on 3 character traits in particular to grow in your Career Savings Account: Generosity, Empathy, & Being Present.

“Generosity is a game-changer. During a Career Jump give generously as a way to beat back the weed of greed. Greed will end up costing you a lot more than you think. Make your definition of generosity bigger by being generous with your skills and time, not just your money.”

“Empathy = Understanding someone else’s needs and acting on them. Generosity and empathy are closely intertwined; they go hand in hand. The stronger you get in one, the stronger you’ll get in the other.”

“The simplest thing you can do to be empathetic [is to] show up.”

“If you really want to reinvent your work and get ahead, there are three things you need to deal with – your phone, your computer and your meetings. Be present.”

[You hear this a lot these days – how distracting are our phones and other electronic devices, and how our shortened attention spans have impaired us related to deep thinking and creative, out-of-the-box dreaming and decision-making. The ones who deal with these will be the outliers – the leaders in the fields of our future. It’s laid out there – now for us to take our lives back.]

“You need character the most when you decide to chase a dream. “

“The moment you decide to make any sort of change in your career, you send other areas of your life into chaos. The bigger the change, the bigger the chaos. Wherever you jump, your character jumps with you.”

Challenge: “Is living with the chaos of a decision easy? Not really, but you do get used to it. I try to create [chaos] sometimes as a way to hide from something else I’m afraid of. I’ve discovered that’s a lightning-fast way to drain a Career Savings Account. When real chaos comes…don’t fight it. If anything, lean into it. ‘Easy’ and ‘adventure’ very rarely travel together.”

These Four Character Flaws Can Kill Your Career – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff – Character Archives

The Awesome Career Audit – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff Quotes by Goodreads (different from ones above)

Why I Hate Jon Acuff by Rob Shep

Do Over – Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck – by Jon Acuff – Notes (Part 1)

Attending or Focus, Bookmarked Summer, Books, Critical Thinking, Do Over, fresh start, Go, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Life Skills, Lifelong Learning, Monday Morning Moment, Relationships, Skills, Social Media, Technology, Transitions, work, Workplace or Marketplace

10 Quotes by Jon Acuff on Developing New Skills & Sharpening Old Ones – Part 3 of Do Over Series

July 13, 2015 admindeb 6 Comments

Photo Credit: Nathan Mills Guitar

There’s this guitarist I know. His music is a work in progress. Not his music itself, because he hones his craft daily. Still, his career in music is a study in skill development. No industry stands still. The ability to silence a room with the sound you bring out of a guitar does not a living make. Usually.

There are so many other skills called to bear in a successful career in music today. Composing, arranging, teaching, performing, collaborating, marketing, production, diversifying style or instrument. Whew!

Then there’s your day job (by necessity, or for other reasons). Wisdom is to bring the same disciplines and desire, of that skilled musician, to work every day. To be the best asset you can be for your employer or your company. Shirking entitlement and nurturing an attitude of graciousness and gratitude.

Who is this person?!

Jon Acuff talks about becoming such a person in his book Do Over. He tackles the subject of sharpening and developing skills as imperative to any career, and especially to break through a Career Ceiling.

Have you ever gotten stuck in a job? No, I’m not talking about being ungrateful or feeling entitled to a better situation. I’m talking stuck – as in getting to a place in your job where you can’t see being able to ever advance or be more creative or grow professionally?

Acuff invites us readers to take a good look at our skills to see what exactly we uniquely bring to your job. This would include skills we might have discounted or even forgotten we had.

Below are 10 bits of wisdom from Jon’s section on skills:

Relationships get you the first gig, skills get you the second.
When you hit a Career Ceiling, skills will be the hammer you use to break through.
Don’t let fear hide a skill you’ve always had or wanted to pursue. Just because you’re afraid of doing something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.
Small skills have the tendency to add up to big careers.
Master the invisible skills – Go to work; add value; own your attitude.
When you have a bad attitude it flavors every part of your performance.
If you want to get better at something, it always costs time. If you don’t have any, steal some from…Facebook or any number of things that are requesting that resource without paying you anything in return.
I’m convinced that fear beats the “You don’t have enough time” drum because it never wants you to invest in your career. This is a lie.
Your willingness to discipline one part of your life creates freedom in another.
You will need skills most when you find yourself stuck. The ceilings are designed to filter out the lazy and uncommitted. Every skill can be a hammer. Start banging. Career Ceilings were meant to be broken.

Like with looking at our relationships, he calls for us to use note cards and list (one per card) all the skills we can think of – whether currently using them or only in the past; whether work-related or not so much. Once we’ve exhausted our ideas on skills then, he says to look for patterns.* It’s so easy to settle into a rut of doing the same thing every day. Going after new skills and sharpening old ones help us to be good at our jobs and, at the same time, love our work.

Whether you are a musician, a teacher, an I.T. guy or a caregiver, you have skills and you can build on those skills. Determining to be diligent to grow your skills and grateful for the opportunities to learn will take you farther than you know. Right through that career ceiling.

“You know who we should fire, that guy who keeps learning how to do his job even better,” said no one ever. – Jon Acuff

Photo Credit: Forbes.com

*A Simple Two-Step Exercise for Figuring Out What You’re Really Good At – Jon Acuff, Business Insider Start Your Do Over Today

Start Your Do Over Today! – Jon Acuff

Jon Acuff: Why Most People Don’t Reach Their Full Potential And How You Can

Nathan Mills on Vine

Learning new skills on-site with Habitat for Humanity