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Monday Morning Moment – Them and Us, How Can That Be? Could Them and Us Become a We?

December 12, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Delta 7

From the archives:

Recently, I was in an odd conversation with a friend from work. The more we talked, the more we sounded like a Dr. Seuss book. It went something like this:

“I don’t know how to be us with them. To be with them is to just be them. We must lose us; us no more will be. There’s no us in them; it’s so strange to me. How can they be them, with no us, you see? To give up us is too hard for me. So I can’t see a way to get to we.”

[Seriously, the conversation went like that…but better.]

Battling the us-them assignation is an ongoing workplace discipline. Even in the happiest, coolest companies, there is still an intentionality to keep work life positive for every employee. That inclusiveness is a hallmark for high morale and low walls (read: no silos).

Photo Credit: Prolearn-Academy

In a work culture where silos still exist, an us/them mentality can grow as each team or department draws in on itself and ignores or suspects the actions/values of others. It’s not a healthy situation for any of us…whether it’s the executive team insulated from others or the [fill in the blank] team hunkered down in its own mode of trying to survive. The first can be as unaware as the subject of the story “The Emperor’s New Clothes“, the second, well, is just miserable, and growing more so by the pay period.

So much has been written on this problem in the workplace – about that culture where us/them thinking and operations color productivity and morale. I have included several links below describing various recommendations and protocols to restore health to such organizations.

Photo Credit: My Turnstone

I’ve always been that person who says, “Why can’t we just all get along?” In reality, we don’t have that situation always, but we can grease the tracks in that direction. Here are my own workplace rules regarding moving us and them to we:

Make a practice of assuming the best of your bosses and colleagues. “Refuse to think ill of others” is my goal…and my accuracy in hitting that goal comes with practice and determination…and grace.
Lean in to those with whom you struggle the most – the “thems” in your worklife. Especially the most powerful ones. Study them. Learn their language. Know them as well as you can. NOT for self-serving reasons, but for the benefit of the work itself. Any motive that only serves your personal situation will only make matters worse… ‘Nuff said.
Refuse to get caught up in us/them complaining. Don’t make a big deal about it, but do your best to turn the conversation toward a positive end, change the subject altogether, or bow out if all else fails. Those negative conversations just bring you and your colleagues down and don’t accomplish anything. A short-lived “misery loves company” satisfaction isn’t worth the fall-out of such conversations.
Bring down the silos, one brick at a time, if necessary. Maybe you aren’t experiencing any us/them anguish, but you know it exists. What can you do, individually and as a work team, to move to “we”? We have lots of work models out there for this. In fact, silos in the workplace are “so 80’s” (whatever that means…I hear it a lot, so I’m using it here). Use some of that meeting time, or talks over coffee, to be creative in how you can work better across teams…how you can learn more from each other…how you can defuse territoriality? If the “them” is management, you initiate dialog on setting work culture values that maximizes product excellence and employee engagement.
Put processes in place – through your culture – to keep silos down. I would love to hear what your situation is and how you are making positive steps to grow/keep a healthy culture. Please comment below.

Sure…there are times we need to process a difficult situation at work with a trusted friend. Yes, us/them scenarios are painful…and wrong, honestly…especially in the workplace where we are meant to have shared goals, working toward the same outcomes. Maybe, the us/them relationships in a company are too distracting and we can’t see any solution (back to the Dr. Seuss-like conversation above). In that case, it’s possible we look outside our company for another situation. However, you take with you a piece of the us/them dilemma. You take you along to the next job. Better to develop muscle memory on how to “be we”, whenever possible, right where we are.

[Sidebar: I’ve written a lot about work culture – too many to mention – but you can search work culture under Blog – Deb Mills and learn as I have about what is possible if we stay engaged in our workplace.]

Photo Credit: Buffer

Overcoming Us vs. Them Challenges

Breaking the “Us and Them” Culture

How to Avoid Us vs. Them – Huffington Post

The 10 Buffer Values and How We Act on Them Every Day

The 4 Elements That Make Great Company Culture

How to Save a Broken Work Culture

From Us and Them to We Participative Organizational Culture

Them and us – How to use Trust as a Competitive Advantage

How CEOs Can End an Us Them Mentality

Us vs. Them – a Simple Recipe to Prevent Strong Society from Forming

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Monday Morning Moment – Turning Around a Work Culture – From “Not Good Enough” to “Job Well Done”

November 21, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: LinkedIn – Dave Kerpen

Aha moments can occur in all sorts of settings. My latest happened during our pastor’s sermon this week. Toward the end of a deep and fascinating exposition of Colossians 2, Pastor Cliff reminded us that we are not meant to earn God’s approval. He gives it unconditionally. Then Cliff talked about how we get caught in the trap of “It’s never enough!” when thinking of our efforts or accomplishments. Then “It’s never enough” or “Not good enough” too easily turns into “You’re not good enough.” This is the place where what we do intersects with who we are…

Switch from the Sunday Bible lesson to the Monday workplace application. I’m not talking the unconditional love of God here, but what happens to us in continuous feedback loops. Stay with me…This made me think uncomfortably about the way I once operated in the area of idea generation and innovation.

I am “an editor”…it gives me great satisfaction to take a document or process and make it better. Recently a friend asked me to edit his manuscript. It’s going to be such a great read…can’t wait for it to be published. Still, there will be lots of edits. For me, being an early reader, I just took care of some grammar and flow issues. There will be more qualified editors down the road. It’s enough for me to do quick, elementary edits and wildly praise the author and his riveting storyline, cheering him on to the next steps of publishing.

The tweaking that I used to do regularly in my earlier professional life was more intense in those days…and less forgiving. I wanted it (whatever it was) to be right, and it was my immodest opinion that I could get it to right. Especially when evaluating someone else’s work (ironically, I was less hard on my own work – figuring it was perfect already, right? Sigh…). The tweaking of another era has come round to a newish process called iteration.

One definition of iteration is the “process of learning and development that involves cyclical inquiry, enabling multiple opportunities for people to revisit ideas and critically reflect on their implication”. These feedback loops are meant to be fast-paced with the finish in view.

Photo Credit: SafariBooksOnline

Where iteration (or tweaking) breaks down (if I might be so bold) is when it’s taken well past rapid feedback loops into a realm of fine-tuning that has the team guessing “will it ever be good enough?” Product design and process development are vital to any company, but what we must also consider is the team or personnel involved.

If the feedback loops relate to the launch of a new product or a new business process, excitement and brainstorming are part of the momentum. Continuing to tweak over months instead of weeks before the launch can take a negative toll on the team. No one wants to forfeit excellence, but we don’t want to lose excellent personnel either.

Photo Credit: Lifehacker

Trusting the judgment of our best thinkers is worth the risk of possibly releasing a product or service when we may not all be sure it’s “perfect”. That is what beta-testing is all about…the feedback that then comes to us from the consumer or user.

I’m really talking out of my element here (not being a designer or innovator so much as a lifelong learner). My leap from the sermon to the workplace relates to my own past struggle with wanting something with my name on it to be perfect while exhausting my teammates with “what if we do this?” or “What if we say it this way?”

What a gift for us to take a well-thought-out proposal and, instead of putting it through the “just not good enough” wringer, we read it and pass it back to that colleague and say, “Good job”…empowering them to execute the proposal. How often does that happen these days?

Please share stories [in the Comments] of work situations where you experienced genuine affirmation for a job well-done.

Recently when water started backing up into the kitchen sink, I was afraid that it was something I had done. Too liberal using the disposal, for instance. Dave was out of town and nothing I could do would remedy the situation. Finally, on a Sunday afternoon, in desperation, I called our plumber (Richmonders, if you need a good plumber, email me, and I will give you his contact info). He came and fixed the problem, and best of all, it wasn’t my fault, after all. This young man literally LOVES his job and was kind to take the time, after he was off the clock, to give me the breakdown of what the problem was. What he charged me? Worth every penny…especially the part where it wasn’t something I had done wrong.

Why I bring this up is that being a fairly capable and creative person doesn’t prevent me from faltering at the likelihood that I messed-up. See the Imposter Syndrome. My mental wiring is such that I get discouraged when my contribution to a situation actually causes more work for someone else, adds expense, or slows down progress. I’ve learned over the years that all that tweaking I may not have taken the product from good to great, and most assuredly caused some amount of frustration to hard-working, quality colleagues. Lesson learned.

There are times and seasons when tweaking is appropriate in developing a product and changing a business process. What we want to take into account is the cost of that tweaking, or iteration, on the people who make things happen in our workplaces. Free them from the “not good enough’s” to enjoy the fruit of “jobs well done”.Photo Credit: The Muse

10 Tips for Dealing With an Overly Demanding Boss – Jacquelyn Smith

How to Get Over the Feeling that You’re Not Good Enough for Your Job – Michele Hoos

10 Things You Can Do to Get Out of Your Boss’s Doghouse – Brian Dodd

Why Incentive Plans Cannot Work – Alfie Kohn – Harvard Business Review

Good Is Not Good Enough: The Culture of Low Expectations and the Leader’s Challenge – Karlene M. Kerfoot

Innovation and Iteration: Friends Not Foes – Scott Anthony – Harvard Business Review

Holding a Team Retrospective – Morale

Workplace Bullying: Protecting Yourself at Work – Slideplayer

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Monday Morning Moment – Uncommon Courtesy in the Workplace

October 17, 2016 admindeb 6 Comments

Photo Credit: iluvquotes

My mom raised me to be courteous…thoughtful towards all…civil in every circumstance…extending grace. Recently, I have become aware that my behavior in the company of others has become less courteous overall. Not in an intentional way, hopefully, but in a careless neglectful way. This is disconcerting because it makes me wonder how long has this been a part of my demeanor and deportment. Not necessarily with those closest to me…but with “the others” in life – the stranger, the coworker, the customer.

Photo Credit: Quote Addicts

Yesterday, not at work, I interrupted the conversation of three people. Not overtly, maybe, but it was a quiet drawing away the attention of one of them. Without even thinking, I was rude.

We don’t really mean to be rude or discourteous probably…but in the neglect of practicing courtesy…we can become “those people”…rude, disingenuous, self-serving people.

What does that look like in the workplace?

John Kyle describes rudeness at work:

“It can range from subtle things like eye-rolling to outrageous things like berating a colleague in a meeting.

Here are some common examples:

Gossiping and talking behind someone’s back.

Giving colleagues the silent treatment.

Interrupting someone when they are speaking.

Leaving trash and food containers in public areas like the office kitchen.

The work around – excluding colleagues from projects or meetings even though they should, by role and responsibilities, be included.

Being late for meetings or in other ways not respecting someone else’s time.

Speaking to people in a condescending way.

All of these examples of rudeness are forms of disrespect. A pastor-friend of mine once said that giving someone the silent treatment is the relational equivalent of saying, ‘I don’t respect and care enough about you to talk to you.'”

John Kyle, Chief Operating Officer for The Institute of Faith, Work, and Economics, also delivers some simple advice on how we might overcome rudeness at work. One of his tips is to make a practice of greeting people…just saying hello (using their name if you know it). How simple is that?! Yet, too often, we walk quickly by, head down, lost in our brilliant and important thoughts, or hanging on every word of that one we’re accompanying. Is it so hard to smile and nod our head at those we are passing by? Those who work with us, have the same vision, hope for the same outcomes, wrestling with the same struggles at work or home.

What Kyle reveals in his article on being courteous at work is that we expose our lack of regard for those around us by not taking the time for them…to say or do the small graces for each other that communicates that “there are no ordinary people”.

Photo Credit: Pinterest – WitandWisdomofCSLewis

His counsel echoes a book I recently read by John Maxwell – Intentional Living – Choosing a Life That Matters. Maxwell, like Kyle, talks about adding value to people…communicating that if we are not intentionally adding value to people then we show that we devalue them.

What do you think? It would be such a gift to have your comments on stories where you were treated with uncommon courtesy at work. Do you have examples of how such actions and attitudes are rewarded in your workplace? Do your bosses display this sort of worldview? Please share your stories…even the negative ones that might have given you pause about your own altered attitudes over the years.

As I described in the story earlier, this has certainly given me pause. I want to be a load-lifter at work. An encourager. A respecter of all persons…not just the ones who can help me get ahead with my career. It’s possible that I might have become a bit more curmudgeonly over time…and that’s not really the kind of coworker I want to be. My mom would be glad to see that I’m climbing out of this insufferable ditch – resolved anew to make a habit of uncommon courtesy.

Bringing Courtesy Back to the Workplace – Harvard Business Review – Ron Ashkenas

Why Is Common Courtesy Increasingly Uncommon at Work? Rudeness on the Rise – John Kyle

How do You Practice Common Courtesy at Work?

Workplace Etiquette – 4 Ways to Show Courtesy to Coworkers – Rachel Wagner

Uncommon Courtesy – Blog

Slideshare – Courtesy

How To Become a Curmudgeon – WikiHow – just for a chuckle!

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Monday Morning Moment – What You Think of Others Matters – Workplace Wisdom

October 10, 2016 admindeb 5 Comments

[From the Archives]

At first, you really liked working with this person. Then, bit by bit, he/she began wearing on you. He is always playing with his phone. Her solution to today’s problem is too labor-intensive. His email responses have become terse. She is late for your meeting. You think, maybe I was wrong about him. He is not the person I thought he was. Maybe, she’s the wrong person on the bus.

When a relationship begins to deteriorate at work (or home), you are wise to take steps to turn this around as quickly as possible. You could be in a work situation that has been difficult from the outset. It is still possible for you to make inroads in turning that relationship toward a more healthy or positive one. If not altogether, at least from your side. Consider an adage that has had a long and useful run in our family and work.

Your opinion of someone approximates their opinion of you. – Dave Mills

There are exceptions, but I have found this to be wise counsel (from my husband, no less) in both personal and professional relationships. When what was a warm, congenial relationship takes a turn toward the negative, you can actually work, from your side, to restore the relationship. Even to take it to a deeper level. It can get more uncomfortable at first, because you have to start with your own thoughts toward that person. How have they changed?

We send signals to each other – whether we speak or not.

My Mom raised us out of the era of Walt Disney’s Bambi:

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Good counsel except for the conversations that still go on in our heads and color our attitudes, our tone of voice, our preferences, and our decisions.

Let’s say I have an amicable relationship with a colleague, and then something happens. I may not even be aware of it – a misunderstanding, a misconstrued action, an insensitivity unaware. Then a chill develops, or a clear outright dislike. I have a window of opportunity to clear that up. Otherwise, if I don’t act, then a process can begin where I decide that person is a jerk and has woefully misjudged me…and off we go.

Remember: This can go both ways. You may have had a few off days with a colleague, and find yourself just not thinking so well of him, then stop it! It’s possible you can keep them from picking up that signal and prevent the relationship from getting more toxic as they decide you’re not so great either.

If I refuse to think ill of another person and discipline myself to be respectful, deferrent in my demeanor, and tireless in pursuing understanding, I could restore that relationship. If it doesn’t improve right away, my attitude and actions work for my own benefit and can definitely help build trust with my team members. One day…that relationship may also turn. It’s worth the effort.

Jon Acuff talks about the four ways we invest in our careers – through skills, character, hustle, and relationships. In an interview with LifeReimagined.com, he had this to say about difficult, or neglected, work relationships:

“Even if you have skills, character and hustle, without relationships, it’s the career version of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Why?”

“If you don’t have relationships, you eventually don’t have people in your life who can tell you the truth about the decisions you’re making. You don’t have people who can tell you no or question you honestly. What I’ve learned is that leaders who can’t be questioned end up doing questionable things.” – LifeReimagined.com interview with Jon Acuff

He identifies three types of people in our lives (work or otherwise, really): friends, foes, and advocates. Jon writes in Do Over:

“The best thing to give a foe is distance. We should ignore most foes. The problem of course is that we won’t. If your definition of foe is too loose and is essentially “anyone who kind of bothers me ever,” your job is going to be miserable. If you see people as your adversaries, it’s almost impossible to have a good working relationship with them. The first thing is to understand whether these foes are clueless or calculated. A clueless foe is that person whose behavior encourages you to fail. They are not malicious. They are not trying to make you lose, but with the power of their influence you are. “Bad habits are almost always a social disease – if those around us model and encourage them, we’ll almost always fall prey. Turn ‘accomplices’ into ‘friends’ and you can be two-thirds more likely to succeed.” – Jon Acuff, Do Over

I think what Jon says is true. Because of my own worldview and value system (and married to Dave all these years), I don’t think we can just acknowledge there are foes out there and distance yourself from them. Sometimes, that is virtually impossible and still be effective at work. Because what can happen, if we don’t act to keep our own thinking clear, is that we take on some of that “foe-dom” ourselves. Maybe you aren’t going to be bosom buddies with this person, but your own work and other relationships can suffer if you develop bad habits around this person. Better to work on the relationship.

“For no matter what we achieve, if we don’t spend the vast majority of our time with people we love and respect, we cannot possibly have a great life. But if we spend the vast majority of our time with people we love and respect – people we really enjoy being on the bus with and who will never disappoint us – then we will almost certainly have a great life, no matter where the bus goes. The people we interviewed from the good-to-great companies clearly loved what they did, largely because they loved who they did it with.” – Jim Collins, Good to Great

For as he thinks within himself, so he is. – Proverbs 23:7

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8

Do Over by Jon Acuff

Fourteen Indispensable Leadership Quotes from Jim Collins – Thom Rainer

How to Deal With Difficult Co-workers – Read keeping in mind that some days you might be the one perceived as difficult.

Photos: Just a few of the men in Dave’s life who required no special work on his part to love and respect…and there are many more. Grateful.

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Monday Morning Moment – Praying For Your Spouse [or Fill-in-the-Blank] in the Workplace

August 29, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: The Life

Sometimes really crucial opportunities pass us by…responsibilities, too, fall off our plates. We get busy…distracted. We choose the urgent without thinking. The urgent over the ultimately important.

This time, one year ago, I saw the film War Room. The plot centered on an older praying woman who mentored a younger woman, whose marriage was falling apart. She mentored, not so much about marriage, but about praying for her marriage. It had a huge impact on my heart…and my prayerlife.Photo Credit: War Room Movie

I prayed my heart out for my husband…and our children…some extended family…and close friends. I still pray for them…but in recent months, the urgency had faded. Other lesser things piled in and I allowed myself to become distracted and dull.

Until this past week…. This past week, I started a Bible study with some other friends who meet together regularly. The book study is The Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. She is also the person, in the film War Room, playing the young woman in the troubled marriage. The study focuses on the Bible passage, Ephesians 6:10-19, and speaks about our role in spiritual warfare.

I had forgotten how important it is not just to pray generally and regularly for those we love, but to pray specifically and persistently. There is a big difference.

For several days, I have been praying for a difficult situation in my husband’s work life. It has been ongoing for some time, and he finally arrived to a point of taking action.

Yipes…I wasn’t at all sure I had prayed well enough for him. In fact, I was sure I hadn’t. There is no going back, but today, fresh in studying how best to pray for those we love, I took God at his word and have prayed differently. Trusting God to intervene as I stood, fortified, in his presence…as the Apostle Paul instructed in Ephesians 6.Photo Credit: True Agape

The details of what happened at work are not necessary for today’s posting, but praying specifically, persistently, and according to God’s Word has made for a very encouraging turn in the situation. Honestly, I don’t think it would have played out as it has, if both my husband and I weren’t really seeking God’s solution for this.

Will it always work out to be a glorious outcome when we pray hard and in faith? I can’t say…not always praying hard nor in faith. However, when we do pray for situations at work instead of just ranting or processing over the dinner table, outcomes will decidedly be better.

Our work is such a huge chunk of our lives. To leave it to chance or charm or even competence…seems a risky business. What a privilege to pray staunchly and strategically for those we love in the workplace – our spouses, our closest friends, our children… Praying for our bosses and colleagues, as well, could improve both their lives and ours as well…not to mention the enormous ripple effect that can spread as God works in a situation.

This afternoon our joy is full. Even though my husband’s workplace may “seem” unchanged…it is wholly different because he has seen God work in a hard place. With complete assurance. I rejoice with him.

Work is a 3-song commute from home. As I was traveling in this morning, thinking about what was ahead of him and praying for the situation en route, these songs were the ones that came back-to-back on the radio as I drove in:

Pretty amazing, huh? What seems extraordinary can be our ordinary when we pray to a Father who wants to show himself mighty on our behalf. What better thing can I do for those I love than to pray hard…pray believing for them?

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Monday Morning Moment – 6 Business Principles from One of History’s Richest Men – with Graham Cochrane

August 15, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: Graham Cochrane, Facebook

Mondays are meant for postings on how to make our workplace a great place…and our work life full of purpose and excellence. This post comes to you through my association with a young guitarist and entrepreneur. He is Nathan Mills at Beyond the Guitar…Photo Credit: Beyond the Guitar

…and he’s our son. All last week, he was posting, on Facebook, these videos from Graham Cochrane. I recognized the name because Nathan looks to him as one of his mentors, albeit mostly online. Cochrane is a musician, audio engineer, entrepreneur, and blogger.

Graham Cochrane‘s 6-part video course on Facebook Live turns out to be a great study on business practices. He gives winsome, practical, and timely counsel on starting and sustaining a business. However, we can all profit from his content whatever our work situation is. His principles in brief follow and are derived from King Solomon’s Proverbs.

Strive to be generous – “One gives freely but grows all the richer.” – Proverbs 11:24-25
Grow slowly – “Whoever gathers little by little will increase.” – Proverbs 13:11
Do great work – “A man skillful in his work will stand before kings.” – Proverbs 22:29
Don’t devour your profit – “A foolish man devours all he has.” – Proverbs 21:20
Avoid debt – “The borrower is slave of the lender.” – Proverbs 22:7
Business is messy – “Where there is no oxen the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the work of the ox.” – Proverbs 14:4

I hope you take the time to watch/listen to these videos. Fascinating content, whatever your work is. I am always inspired by the entrepreneurial spirit – especially when that passion and willingness to work hard at something you love has a ripple effect for good.

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The Recording Revolution – Graham Cochrane Website

YouTube – The Recording Revolution Channel

How a 32-year-old Freelance Sound Mixer Started Making $75,000 a Month From a Blog – Business Insider

The Go-Giver, Expanded Edition: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea – Bob Burg

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich – Timothy Ferriss

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Monday Morning Moment – 3 Quick Reads on Leadership – to Help You Stay the Course, Not Be a Jerk, While Being Innovative

August 8, 2016 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Centresource

Today…I got nothing.

Late nights watching the Olympic Games (#Rio2016), friends visiting from out of town, and new moms in my life…I got nothing on leadership today…

However…

These three leaders, writers and leadership observers never disappoint – Brian Dodd, Carey Nieuwhof, and Vala Afshar.

Brian Dodd is a prolific thinker and writer on leadership themes – mainly to a Christian audience, but much of what he writes is wisdom for anyone who wants to lead well. Photo Credit: Brian Dodd on Leadership

His blog on leadership quotes by Bill Purvis, who spoke recently at the GO Conference, includes the following bits for all of us.

Clarify your vision.
You get a vision by walking around.
You make insiders by giving them inside information.
Betrayal will kill your vision.
Devise a strategy to create a pipeline of leaders. If you want to go a long distance, you have to have a bench.
If you try to do it all you will burn out.
We can only grow to the level that we have leaders in place to train, retain people, and release people into using their gifts.
I’ve never known what it’s like to be jealous. I want people to win.
You equip other people.
If you don’t train leaders, you’re limited in how far you can go.
Our C-Level players become A-Level players wherever they go.
We want Ritz-Carlton to one day come to us.

Carey Nieuwhof is my favorite Canadian. He went from law school to the pulpit. His writing and podcasts on leadership are regular feasts for thought. Photo Credit: Carey Nieuwhof

Here’s a recent cautionary blog on 10 Signs You’re Just a Jerk…Not a Leader. I’ll just list his points, but you want to read the whole piece.

You’ve made the organization all about you.
You think that people work for you.
You never say thank you.
You’re demanding.
You keep the perks of leadership to yourself.
You keep yourself front and center.
You take the credit and assign the blame.
You never have your team’s back.
You make all the decisions.
You act like a martyr.

Nieuwhof closes with asking the question, “How do I know jerk leadership so well? Because I have a jerk inside of me I need to suppress every day. My guess is you might too.

Fortunately, Jesus introduces a completely different paradigm for leadership. If you want to be a Christ-like leader, just do the opposite of these ten things. You’ll be well on your way.”

Finally, I’ve been following Vala Afshar on Twitter for a long time.Photo Credit: YouTube

His blog 20 Entrepreneurship Lessons From World’s top Business Thinkers, CEOs, and VCs is a brilliant collection. Below are just 6 of the 20 lessons.

Doing well, and doing good, are not mutually exclusive, but mutually reinforcing. If you are not doing well, you don’t have the money to keep doing good. Is your company doing the work for the right reasons – can it create meaning and money, purpose and profit? – Deb Mills-Scofield
Customers want meaning, value and purpose for them. If you don’t have your value proposition done, you don’t need to worry about the business model. This means deliver value in the context and constraints of the customer, not what you would like it to be. This means understanding your customer’s customer needs from their perspective. – Deb Mills-Scofield
Humble confidence is key to success. Humble companies ask for help and they give their employees the freedom to fail and try stuff. Companies that trust their employees will be more innovative. Business leaders must walk the talk and give their employees the freedom to experiment. Good leaders take all of the blame and none of the credit. Good leaders also promote and celebrate cross-collaboration across the lines-of-business. – Deb Mills-Scofield
When you don’t ask, the answer is no. Consider asking for help or well-deserved promotions or pay raises. Also ask for forgiveness, not permission. – Deb Mills-Scofield
We live in a permission economy. So how does a business lead in the permission economy. Permission is the privilege of talking to people who want to talk to you, and not because it’s important to you. It is about being missed if you don’t show up. Are you doing something worth following? If you’re not, then you’re not leading. – Seth Godin
The world is changing. What does it mean to live in a world that is changing? The key element to being a CIO or a CMO is to be a chief learning officer (CLO). To be an artisan – not a craftsman, because a craftsman does the something again and again – is to learn to do it different the next time, to do it better the next time. To be an artisan, you have to be willing to listen and learn. What it means to learn is to fail. – Seth Godin

Hope your Monday is profitable and that you’re encouraged as a leader today. Not a leader? Oh, no….you are. We all are…in some fashion or another. Wisdom is to learn leadership from those closest to us…and those whom we can follow online and at the occasional conference…like Dodd, Nieuwhof, and Afshar.

All Good Gifts, Attending or Focus, Attitude, Christmas, Communication, Community, Conversations, Emotions, Family, Holidays, Home, Inspired, Lessons Learned, Monday Morning, Monday Morning Moment, Redeeming & Restoring, Vacations, work, Workplace Culture, Workplace or Marketplace

Monday Morning Moment – Relational Wisdom at Work and at Home

July 18, 2016 admindeb Leave a comment

[Adapted from the Archives]

Monday morning emails can be treacherous… This morning when I woke, my husband told me he’d just heard from a valued colleague that he had secured another job. Dave was expecting this because of previous communications they’ve had with each other. Through an organizational re-structuring, there are many whose jobs are changing. This email was good news because this person will be a tremendous addition to any team – good news and sad news. We will miss this man on our team but we celebrate a great job match.

Then another email came in. It was from the person who will be his new supervisor. It was full of respect and regard – a courtesy email that is not necessarily company culture these days but an email that shows understanding and empathy. When change comes, even good change, there is still that adjustment, that grieving of the good that was. Those two emails speak volume about emotional intelligence or relational wisdom…and that’s something we always need in the workplace…and at home.

The holidays and summer vacations have a particular call for wisdom to soften difficult expectations, disarm family conflicts, and personalize interactions to fit the needs of those nearest to us.

Photo Credit: rw360.org

One very simple way we can tune into seasonal celebrations is to deal with our own stuff. Keeping our minds on the goodness of the these occasions helps.

Related to both our work and home relationships, Ken Sande, founder of Relational Wisdom 360, has given us a great gift. He has written 33 Ways to Enjoy Highly Relational Holidays. A fast-read blog a day on relational wisdom, written for Advent but which also fits nicely into a block of summer days.

I attended Dr. Sande’s Peacemaker course years ago during a challenging work season, and what I learned then continues to be a tremendous help to me today. If your work or family situation is somewhat intimidating, don’t despair. There are those in our lives (Ken Sande is one) who will come alongside and help/mentor us, if we’re willing to take care of our own hearts and minds.Photo Credit: coldspringcenter.org

As summer hums along and return to school looms ahead, I hope you are savoring happily memorable times together with family. As far as work goes, just like with the emails above, we can do our part to make our workplace a kind and honoring experience – our part (not someone else’s) in making it the way it could be…the way it should be…Photo Credit: GoodWorksBracelet.com

What helps you thrive in stressful situations at work? What has made a difference in bringing peace and joy to your summer vacations and holiday celebrations? Please comment and share with those searching for that wisdom.

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Monday Morning Moment – Forming 5 Simple Habits that Lead to Success/Effectiveness

July 5, 2016 admindeb 3 Comments

Photo Credit: CGInternational

Habits. Daily routine. These are things we wrestle with. Fortunately the more we wrestle and stay on them, the more successful we are, and (hurrah!), the more our lives are positively affected. Ben Slater has posted a very doable routine in his piece 5 Simple Daily Habits That Lead to Ultimate Success. They are:

Wake up early. Slater is not talking waking up early enough to just get to work on time. He’s talking 5ish. To wake up that early requires going to bed early…not just napping on the couch (guilty), but habitually, getting to bed early to get up early. This is determined by how much sleep you need…whether you’re a morning person or night person, that amount of time is pretty much set. “Sleeping in” – that weekend luxury – can derive negative gains. Is it worth it? Just asking the question he raises.Photo Credit: The Female Network
Exercise regularly. OK, so nothing new, right? This is not about staying in shape, physique-wise. That could be a benefit of exercise, but the goal is to sweat! We know the great benefits to regular exercise, many of which are mental. Feeling happier is one. It’s making exercise a habit that’s key here – for all its physical, mental, emotional, and even vocational benefits.Photo Credit: Beamery
Focus, don’t multitask. I have actually prided myself for years on the ability to multitask. No more. It’s possible it wreaked havoc on my memory and probably on the quality of my work and relationships. Slater talks about the importance of a daily routine of planning, execution, review and starting a plan for the next day. “Work out the 3-5 things that you need to accomplish over the course of the day and focus on them first.” Focus is key. I’m learning.Photo Credit: Massolutions
Learn from mistakes. When our day doesn’t go quite how we hoped, we too often default to blaming (too many meetings, interruptions, demanding bosses, time-wasters and trust-busters). We make mistakes in our decision-making and assessments; what’s important is that we deal with them humbly and proactively. Refuse to blame others. Learn from the mistake and move on. Sidebar: If it’s someone else’s mistake or poor judgment or questionable character, then learn from their mistakes as well. Don’t get muddled up, fuming about another, when your own life is at stake. You have it in you to control that.Photo Credit: UltrapreneurSayings
Make personal investments. What habits have you put in place to continue to grow and develop? Habits, not just hopes or goals set somewhere in the distant future. Slater observes: “The world’s most successful people are always prepared to invest time and resources in their own personal development. If you stripped someone like Bill Gates of his assets and dumped him on the street I’d be willing to bet he’d be ok – he’s constantly invested in himself and built up huge reserves of human capital, major companies would be falling over themselves to offer him a job.” This is where weekly goals come in, and maybe a mentor…someone you trust who will help you stay accountable to your goals. Don’t miss this valuable habit…I definitely need more discipline in this area.Photo Credit: SalesTrainingSolutions

I’ve written a lot in Monday Morning Moments about habit formation (see links below). There are so many great resources online about this important professional life skill. Slater’s article on these 5 simple daily habits reminded me again of how possible it is to know success/effectiveness if we do the work of putting these habits into our daily routine. I’m on it…once again. [Like with New Year’s Resolutions, we may not be successful over the long-haul with every one, but we move closer to goal every time we push in that direction.]

What are habits you have seen make a difference in your personal and professional day-to-day life? What habits would you like to make part of your daily routine? Please share in Comments.

15 Critical Habits of Mentally Strong People – Travis Bradberry

Habits of Successful People Who Always Reach Their Goals – SlideShare

Creating a Lasting Early Morning Routine – The Two Most Overlooked Aspects – Joel Gascoigne

Defend Your Research: The Early Bird really Does Get the Worm – Christoph Randler

Focus on Multi-Finishing Instead of MultiTasking – Dave Mastovich

Monday Morning Moment – Notes on Chris Bailey’s Life of Productivity – DebMillsWriter

Monday Morning Moment – Make Your Bed Every Morning and Be Ready to Change the World – DebMillsWriter

Monday Morning Moment – Screen Time – Give It a Rest – DebMillsWriter

Monday Morning Moment – Understanding True Habit Change and Rocking Your New Year’s Resolutions – DebMillsWriter

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Monday Morning Moment – Our Work Ethic Pushes Us On When Our Passion Wanes – How’s Your Work Ethic?

June 27, 2016 admindeb 4 Comments

Photo Credit: Twitter

Can our work ethic sustain us when our passion wanes?

Eric Chester has been studying and writing about today’s emerging workforce since the 1980’s, when Generation Y was in its infancy. Millennials have been examined and critiqued so much, but Chester has done his homework in how to help them be successful in the workplace. He also challenges employers to equip these young adults with what they may not have upon entering the workforce – that being a strong work ethic.

In his article in The MHEDA Journal, Chester defines work ethic as simply “knowing what to do and doing it“. Through his research, Chester created a list of seven indisputable, non-negotiable core values that he strongly believes every employer should demand: positivity (positive attitude), reliability, professionalism, initiative, honesty, respect, and gratitude (cheerful service).

This is not just so for millennials but for all of us in the workforce. What do we need to be successful or effective across a career? Is it passion or work ethic? Passion (strong or powerful emotion, deep desire, intense conviction) is a big buzzword right now in hiring, but what we really need is work ethic. As Chester states, in his book Reviving Work Ethic, “passion doesn’t fuel work ethic; work ethic fuels passion.”

A strong work ethic will carry us through seasons in our career when we’re “just not feeling it”. I appreciate the distinction Chester makes about how our work ethic actually fuels our passion and not the other way around. We may not all have passion in measures that enhance our success, but we can apply ourselves with diligence and intentionality such that we can push through to the finish, whatever it is. When passion wanes, this is a great encouragement to me.

Photo Credit: Pinterest, Pinterest

Arlene Hirsch quotes Mark Cuban’s thinking on passion and work ethic:

“’Follow Your Passion’ is easily the worst advice you could ever give or get.

1. When you work hard at something you become good at it.

2. When you become good at doing something, you will enjoy it more.

3. When you enjoy doing something, there is a very good chance you will become passionate or more passionate about it.

4. When you are good at something, passionate and work even harder to excel and be the best at it, good things happen.

Don’t follow your passion, follow your effort. It will lead you to your passions and to success, however you define it.”

Chester uses the analogy of building a fire in a fireplace. You have to set the logs in place before you start the fire. Passion will heat up a conversation or spark a vision, but it won’t get the job done, whatever it is. This is where our work ethic when applied will get us to goal, to mastery, to the finish. That in turn gives rise to passion as we see what is possible when we put forth the best effort that is each of ours to bring.

Photo Credit: SlideShare

Whether you are newly employed in the workforce or a seasoned veteran, it’s wise to consider the bottom line of what we ought to bring to our jobs. This will vary across organizations and companies, especially as our workforce itself changes in the years to come. Chester’s summation is noteworthy for all of us:

“Employers are searching for positive, enthusiastic people who show up for work on time, who are dressed and prepared properly, who go out of their way to add value and do more than what’s required of them, who are honest, who will play by the rules, and who will give cheerful, friendly service regardless of the situation.”

How’s your work ethic?…

Whatever our passion might be today, our work ethic can be rock solid…something we count on in each other at work in the every day.

Reviving Work Ethic: A Leader’s Guide to Ending Entitlement and Restoring Pride in the Emerging Workforce by Eric Chester

On Fire at Work: How Great Companies Ignite Passion in Their People Without Burning Them Out by Eric Chester

Employers Must Pick Up the Slack, Instill Work Ethic in the Emerging Workforce – article by Eric Chester

Follow Your Energy, Not Your Passion – article by Arlene Hirsch

What’s Wrong with Work Ethic in America? – article by Patricia Fripp

SlideShare – Metric Driven Talent Management – 21st Century Talent Management Conference – Tanzania

YouTube Video – Book Trailer for Reviving Work Ethic by Eric Chester

YouTube Video – Book Trailer for On Fire at Work by Eric Chester

Work Ethic Quotes – Pinterest

Photo Credit: Starecat