Books, Communication, Conversations, creativity, Critical Thinking, fresh start, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Monday Morning Moment, Relationships, Team, Transformational, Transitions, work, Workplace or Marketplace

Monday Morning Moment – On Silos and Tribalism – Taking “Us” and “Them” to a Better “We”

October 19, 2015 admindeb 5 Comments

Photo Credit: Slideshare.net

“Silos”, as a workplace term, is such a fitting description for what we do to distinguish ourselves from each other. It means compartmentalization based on specialization. Now the term “silos” is less used, replaced by the cooler term “tribes”. Unfortunately, because the workplace woes of old are still in operation, “tribes” have deteriorated into “tribalism” or…[Hello] “silos”.

I began thinking about this again this weekend when a retweet came up in my Twitter feed featuring Gianpiero Petriglieri. So much organizational resource – money and time – is spent on specialization and grooming leaders. It’s a pity when the outcome actually draws down the organization ( to small pockets of “tribal buddies”) instead of honing expertise and relationships across departments, across disciplines.

What if we could break down silos, and reorient and reenergize tribes? What if workplace tribes incorporated a grand plan that nurtured inclusion – creating “a rising tide that lifts all boats” (Adam Grant)?

Years ago, when I was a young instructor at Yale University, I experienced workplace silos. There were bottlenecks through which I had to maneuver, until I figured out how to win those beyond the bottlenecks. Since then silos have been a part of life for me, as I’m sure they are for us all. Oncology nursing had a different prestige than critical care nursing. Was one better than the other? No.

Working in the Middle East had its own set of challenges different from working in Europe. Does that mean one elicits greater respect or benefits than another? Of course not. Right? Communication between those in the field and those in the home office can also become very much an “us” and “them” transaction. Even within the home office, one department may seem more the “flavor of the month” than another. What are your silo/tribe challenges?

Brilliant business writers can give us great tools and insight with breaking down silos (see fast reads in the links below). If you are anticipating a major change in your organization (buy-out, down-sizing, shift in focus/product line), it makes for a perfect storm to deal with silos. Of course, if management across the organization leads out with a unifying goal (a “battle-cry”), the possibility for success is heightened. I don’t think, however, that this is the only hope for success.

What if one department, a single silo or tribe, decided to tackle the problem? What would that look like? From my work experience and from learning from great leaders, both celebrity and colleague, here’s a bare-bones minimum how-to-get-started list:

What is your common goal as an organization? What is the clear unified rallying cry around which you can collaborate?
What are your own silo biases? Do you communicate that you think your department, location, specialization should have some sort of favor? Deal with that. It’s the first barrier that has to come down.
If trust has been disrupted or destroyed, who can you partner with to begin to rebuild trust? Name them, and begin the process (if you pray, you might begin praying for their success as a department/division – make it NOT about you).
What objectives can you establish as a department to guide you in staying focused on high-value collaboration across-specialties?
How will you measure the course of your action toward becoming a non-silo, less tribal department? Set a time. 6 months or across whatever acute crisis you see coming. Be as intentional and broad-reaching as you are able, given your own workload. Remember that silos alter the math in a workplace – 1 + 1 + 1 = 2 when teams aren’t sharing information and working at cross-hairs. We can make the math work better, as we work, against the flow, toward creative collaboration.

My professional life has had various silo experiences, from teaching in an Ivy League university to working on a highly innovative team (recklessly creating its own brilliant unintentional silo, later with personal regret). Silos and workplace tribes never get us where we want to go collectively. Bring ’em down.

I would love to hear about your work experiences…any struggles, breakthroughs, or victories in this area of breaking down silos and building a culture of “Yes, WE can…together.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Silos, Politics and Turf Wars – A Leadership Fable about Destroying the Barriers that Turn Colleagues into Competitors

Silos and Tribes – Think Different

http://www.slideshare.net/JDDillon/breaking-down-silos-how-social-learning-changed-everything-for-kaplan-atdtk

17 Strategies for Improving Collaboration – from the Freiberg’s – Do Not Miss This One.

How to Build Trust and Fight Tribalism to Stimulate Innovation

Breaking Bad – Squash Silos & Tribalism – Breakthrough Personal Branding

Leadership Axioms: Powerful Leadership Proverbs by Bill Hybels

All Good Gifts, Bible, Faithfulness, Glory of God, God, Grace, Inspired, Jesus, Leadership, Redeeming & Restoring, Sabbath rest, steadfast love, Walk with God, Worship

The Shepherd and His Sheep – We Want for Nothing – The Unity of His Word to Us

October 18, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

Thus says the Lord GOD, “Behold, I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. “As a shepherd cares for his herd in the day when he is among his scattered sheep, so I will care for My sheep and will deliver them from all the places to which they were scattered on a cloudy and gloomy day.” – Ezekiel 34:11

What a joyful thing to know that God, as our Shepherd pursues us and will care for us through all our days, even the most gloomy ones. We are in a season of life when we really need to hear from God on a time-sensitive matter. There are moments in these days that we strain to hear and wonder if we will. Then a passage, well, a couple of passages, pierces through that momentary silence. Our faith is renewed and riveted on the Good Shepherd…and we wait on Him.

Yesterday, Dave and I were at a leader training through Movement Church. Pastor Cliff led us through this worship exercise. As a group, we stood and read Psalm 23, together and out loud. We read it 5 or 6 times. About the 4th time, he led us to whisper it. I was so moved by this. It was like being with David, the author of the Psalms. I thought of him, possibly whispering these words, as comfort to himself and to his men. Maybe they were in hiding from the murderous hordes of King Saul. Or maybe they were in the quiet of their camp, sorting out the confusing betrayal of David’s son Absalom. I could hear that shepherd-king David, whispering those words to a God who loved him and would never leave him.

Then we read again in a louder voice, almost a battle cry. Then back to regular volume…and done. Done and transformed.

[You might want to take the time to do this as well. A beautiful experience.]

After we finished this, we reflected on the God who shepherds us – who perfectly knows His sheep, faithfully feeds His sheep, leads us and protects us. Psalm 23 points us to that Good Shepherd.

Then Cliff took us to Ezekiel 34. You know those times when you re-read a familiar passage and it’s as if you are reading it for that very first time? That was my experience. To see the glorious unity between Psalm 23 and Ezekiel 34 reminded me all over again how I love how God draws us to Himself through His Word.

In Ezekiel 34, the people of God were in a difficult place (vv. 1-10). Those shepherding them at the time did not know these “sheep”. They did not feed the sheep, selfishly caring for their own needs over that of the flock. They did not lead – leaving them to scatter. They did not protect them. It was a timely warning and indictment for us in leadership if we lead without caring for the people as God cares.

Then the prophet Ezekiel spoke a word of deliverance from the Lord to His people (vv. 11-22). God Himself, who knows His sheep, would gather them. He would feed them. He would lead and protect them. We are His sheep, and no matter our circumstances, we can rest in His Word that He will not leave us in our difficult situations alone.

Finally, the Lord speaks into the future of His people (vv. 23-31).

“I will appoint over them a single shepherd, My servant David, and he will shepherd them. He will tend them himself and will be their shepherd. I, Yahweh, will be their God, and My servant David will be a prince among them. I, Yahweh, have spoken.” – Ezekiel 24:23-24

King David, who penned Psalm 23, had long since died. There would come One from the lineage of David who would be this Good Shepherd. The Word and Promise of God in human form – this glorious anointed one, Jesus. Thus we are taken from the Psalms through the Prophet Ezekiel to the Gospel of John in the New Testament.

“I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. “– John 10:14-16

This Sunday morning is bright with promise of a God who shepherds us. As we wait to hear His direction in our lives, we can stand on His promise that He knows us and our need, He will lead us, He will feed us, and He will protect us. If that doesn’t lead us to worship, I don’t know what would.

The Story Behind the Psalms

Beauty of God's Creation, Bible, Conversations, Fall, Film, Food & Drink, Friday Faves, God, Lessons Learned, Seasons, Stories, Transformational, Word of God, work, Workplace or Marketplace

5 Friday Faves – Fall Colors, Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, 9 Questions Before You Quit, Sherlock, and the Story of God for Postmoderns

October 16, 2015 admindeb Leave a comment

As I write I can hear Christmas music blasting as Dave rides his bike (on a trainer, in his office). We start listening to Christmas albums in October because we have so many favorites that it takes 3 months to savor them all. The days always seem to fly between now and the end of the year. Slow down! It’s Friday again, and here are my faves.

Fall Colors – My favorite season is Fall, and it is so stunning here in the US. We are just starting to see leaves changing color in Virginia, so I might have to showcase them another time. Here are a few images, and I would love to see some of yours.

Photo Credit: Bottom picture from North Georgia, Frances Moon

2. Krispy Kreme Doughnuts – Doughnut preferences are very personal. Since moving to Richmond, Westhampton Pastry Shoppe doughnuts (mentioned in another Friday Fave) are faves. However, that said, I have known and loved Krispy Kreme Doughnuts for almost 50 years. They are so scrumptious. To watch the cooking operation is fun as they bob through their deep fat-frying bath and then dip under the shower of sugar glaze. Krispy Kreme also has a knack for decorating for holidays through the year. Actually, I don’t eat doughnuts currently, because I can’t stop at a reasonable number…especially when they are hot glazed doughnuts from KK. Still, if I were eating them…it would be here.

3. 9 Questions Before You Quit – I have dear friends going through a downsizing in their organization. They are praying about their next steps regarding retirement or other work in their future. Dr. Chuck Lawless writes so empathetically about this type of situation in his article 9 Questions to Ask Before leaving a Ministry. His 9 Questions could really apply to any job, not just to one with a Christian organization. They are so insightful and thought-provoking. One question is: Do I feel both a “push” and a “pull”? “Responding to a push from one ministry without a pull toward another may lead to making a premature move.” Another is If I leave, what would be my honest reason for leaving? Deciding to leave, whether it’s taking retirement or seeking other work, is probably more complicated than we can articulate. Dr. Lawless encourages, “At least be honest with yourself when you’re making a life decision.”Photo Credit: MinistryBestPractices.com

4. Sherlock – BBC’s Sherlock is returning “soon-ish” for its fourth season! Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock and Martin Freeman as Dr. Watson are so amazing together. I’ve watched Seasons 1, 2, 3, (available through Amazon.com and other sellers) and am very excited for Season 4. The trailer teaser is out (see it below), but the “soon-ish” arrival of Sherlock won’t happen probably until early in 2016. It’s also a short season – one special and 3 episodes – and I don’t want to miss it. Along with Sherlock, I’m counting down to the 6th and final season of Downton Abbey – also coming to the US in January (No spoilers please!).Photo Credit: pbs.org

The trailer for Season 4 of Sherlock has been out since summer, but I just saw it this week. Sherlock returns…in January? February? What a tease!

5) The Story of God for Postmoderns – How would you answer the question, “What is the Bible all about?” If you were to prepare an answer of this question for a Post-modern, you might be disappointed. A true Post-modern is probably not going to ask you that question. However, what if our friends could get hold of the idea that the Bible is not just a grand story that Christians have concocted? The Bible, in truth, is a winsomely unified story God actually tells about Himself from the first page to the last. Dr. David Teague, in the article, The Biblical Metanarrative, lays out the clearest explanation I’ve ever read of the Story of God – of how the Bible is God’s own revelation of Himself to His people. Don’t miss this gem.

Photo Credit: Peanuts, ParkingSpace23.com

What were your discoveries this week? What were your favorites? I’d love to hear about them.

Attending or Focus, Bill Hybels, Books, Character, Community, Courage, Do Over, Global Leadership Summit, Hustle, Inspired, Jon Acuff, Leadership, Life Skills, Sacrifice, Team, work

Grit – When You’re Hurtin’ But Not Quittin’ – the Role of Personal Resolve and a Team Alongside

October 15, 2015 admindeb 4 Comments

Photo Credit: Pacific News Center

Diligence is a word that defined my many years in learning Arabic while we lived overseas. Keeping at it, even when I wanted to quit, helped immensely. The joy of living life in a second language is worth all the work. Diligence is a great assist to staying on course, but it is not “grit”.

I saw grit at work recently in a group of servicemen, in Virginia Beach, doing their morning exercise. [Not the picture above but that image has its own neat story of grit]. We had taken a couple of days away from the city to get our breath, by the ocean. Walking on the boardwalk early in the morning, we encountered this small group of airmen from the nearby Naval Base, doing a group jog. We saw them starting the run and saw them again coming back – 6 miles total. Most of them were young, thin, and fit.

What caught our eye, in particular, were two men in mid-life, carrying a bit of weight, bringing up the rear. Approaching the end of that run, they looked like they were hurting, but they definitely weren’t quitting. I’m sure to stay as fit as the rest of the group was, a certain measure of grit was at play…but these two, in this snapshot of life, showed the grit that brought me to write today.

Wikipedia.org defines grit as a character trait of applying passion and perseverance over time toward a goal, end state or objective. Grit goes beyond ability and can withstand failure, keeping the end goal in sight, and pushing through to it.

Bill Hybels, at the Global Leadership Summit 2015*, talked about grit as “one of the greatest indicators of success”. Gritty people, he said, are the ones who “play hurt” and rarely ever give up. “They expect progress to be difficult, but believe with their whole being that they can be successful if they don’t quit.” It’s “The Little Engine That Could”. Abraham Lincoln. Nelson Mandela. Gandhi. Martin Luther King. Hybels also encouraged the audience that grit can be developed. From childhood through adulthood.

Jon Acuff (author of Do Over) defines grit as “stubbornness in the face of fear“. In his book, he gives a short list of what’s needed in making gritty decisions (in the “hustle” of work):

Time – we think the world “hustle” has to mean fast, but it can also mean focus, intention, pace.
Counsel – Lean on your relationships. Some of the worst decisions are made alone. Who are your advocates? Have you given them time to reflect on it or are you rushing right by the wisdom they have to offer? Let them speak into it. A year from now, looking back on the decision, you’ll be glad you made it as a team.
Questions – Always ask awesome opportunities, awesome questions. We skimp on due diligence. “What am I not seeing right now?”
Kindness – Give yourself permission to make the wrong decision, because…you’re going to. Break the tension of feeling like you’re going to be perfect by giving yourself some kindness from the outset.
Honesty – When you look back on a decision, remember that you made that decision with the best information you had at the time.

As we saw those two older heavyset men running just behind their younger airmen colleagues, we saw men with a goal in mind. There was also something more – the cadence to the group’s run that seemed to work to keep them all together. Whether at work or in family relationships, we want to do all we can to help those gritty ones be successful. Their resolve may get them to the goal anyway, but we all benefit when we are able to “stay on course” together.

Have you “grown gritty” over your lifetime? Are there gritty folks in your life who you love to champion? Tell us about them below.

*Session 1: Bill Hybels Opening Session – Global Leadership Summit

Wikipedia Article on Grit

The Truth About Grit

The Grit Test

Jon Acuff on the Role of Hustle in Taking Hold of Career Opportunities – Notes & Quotes – Part 5 of Do Over Series

How to Make Grit Decisions and Built a Grit List by Jon Acuff

Do Over: Rescue Monday, Reinvent Your Work, and Never Get Stuck by Jon Acuff

Does Teaching Kids To Get ‘Gritty’ Help Them Get Ahead?

Bible, Church, Community, Courage, Faithfulness, God, Gospel, Grace, Inspired, Jesus, Kindness of Strangers, Lives Full of God, Love, Neighbors, Stories, Teaching, Transformational, Wednesday Worship, Word of God

Worship Wednesday – The Story of God in the Acts of the Apostles – God with Us – MercyMe

October 14, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: YouTube.com

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. – Acts 4:13

I wasn’t born into the Christian faith. As much as it was possible to be alien from God, this was my experience as a child. When a neighbor invited us to her church, we went, essentially immigrants from a foreign land. The kindness of these strangers and the teaching from God’s Word were food and drink to this tired and hungry child’s heart. Even in the few years of my life, I knew the futility of trying to be good and the failure of relying on people for love (except for my Mom). I was a fairly messed-up 8y/o…and then I met Jesus.

That’s why the account of the Acts of the Apostles in the Bible is so riveting. These were not people who just believed in some religious leader or holy book. These were people who intimately knew Jesus. They had spent long days with him…they knew his habits; they saw him at his most tired; they witnessed how his living reflected the truth of his teaching. They were astonished at the miracles he performed and changed themselves by the love he lavished on both the poor and the proud. No wonder they were so bold in their witness, even to the point of death. “They had been with Jesus”.

A Greek physician named Luke penned the letter that we call Acts of the Apostles. In the first line of the letter he mentions another book he wrote, that being the Gospel of Luke. In the Gospel, he delivers a detailed story of the life and teaching of Jesus.

Between these two books, Acts and the Gospel of Luke, you can have a good start at understanding – who Jesus was/is and how the church began. Through the eye-witness accounts of Jesus’ followers.

All of Scripture is a revelation of God. He speaks of Who He is through all the stories – from the books of Genesis to Revelation.

David Teague wrote a profound piece on The Biblical Metanarrative. Written especially for post-moderns, Teague takes the reader, step-by-step through the unity of the story across the Bible – the story of God. I read his article a couple of times, first as a witness to the truth of what he’s saying and again as one who might be skeptical or ignorant of Scripture. I really encourage you to read this article, whatever your current thinking is on God. It’s an easy read, and you will find it profitable.

We are reading through the Book of Acts this month at Movement Church. I love reading out loud the case for Christ made by three followers of Christ in particular – Stephen, Peter, and Paul. Their boldness comes out of relationship not scholarship. They give a shoulders-squared, hearts-resolved first-hand account of Jesus – as Emmanuel, God with us.

He is with us still…

Worship with me.

Who are we, That You would be mindful of us
What do You see, That’s worth looking our way
We are free, In ways that we never should be
Sweet release, From the grip of these chains
Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries, For You alone be glorified
Emmanuel, God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid these chains are gone
Emmanuel, God with us

Lord You know, Our hearts don’t deserve Your glory
Still You show, A love we cannot afford
Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary
Nevertheless we lay it at Your feet.*

The Biblical Metanarrative – The Story of God in a Postmodern World

YouTube Video – The Acts of the Apostles (Visual Bible) – Script of film is all Scripture (NIV).

*Behind the Song God With Us – with Kevin Davis

Story Behind the Song God With Us (GodTube Video)

The Speeches in Acts

Books, Communication, Critical Thinking, Inspired, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Monday Morning Moment, Transformational, Transitions, work, Workplace or Marketplace

Efficiency, Effectiveness, and Adaptability – The Very Human Side of These Business Processes

October 12, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: digital-knowledge.nl.dikn/en

I will never forget when an elder statesman in an organization (both dear to me) was “let go”, so to speak, because of a need for more “bang for the buck”. The expression was so toxic then and still carries a deep pain. It speaks to the tension between efficiency and effectiveness, and the pressing need for adaptability as our world rapidly changes. At the same time, we have to remember, in almost all situations, it’s people in the mix of these business processes.

Efficiency is a good thing. However, it must be secondary to effectiveness. Effectiveness is primary always. How best to assure both is to build an organizational culture of adaptability.

Tom Coyne has defined effectiveness, efficiency, and adaptability brilliantly in a published 2-page pdf*. Here they are:

“Effectiveness measures the extent to which the results you have achieved match your goals.” Strategy leaders set those goals, and the goals determine who does the work, when, where, and how.

“Efficiency measures the amount of scarce resources used to obtain the results achieved.” His use of the term “scarce resources” is thought-provoking. When we focus on efficiency – getting the most benefit from the least resources – we can lose our objective. Resources are precious. Full-stop. Whether they are people, time, or finances. We must consider how we spend resources always, and especially when they are scarce. However, if we miss the mark on our objective because we misspent our resources or allocated them unwisely, then we paid for efficiency with effectiveness. A poor transaction.

Gen. McChrystal, speaks to this, in his book Team of Teams (more about this book follows). He puts a captivating twist on it in his challenge: “If I told you that you weren’t going home until we win—what would you do differently?” We can’t focus primarily on efficiency when effectiveness is the outcome we desire. Adaptability is really what will get us to where we want to go.

“Adaptability measures the change in Effectiveness and Efficiency for a given level of change in the agent or organization’s environment…One of our great failings as human beings is our reluctance to acknowledge the full implications of living in a world of complex adaptive systems. The causes of yesterday’s success are impossible to fully understand, and unlikely to be replicable to the same extent in the future…We naturally try to succeed again in the future, using the approach that worked in the past, with frequently disappointing and occasionally fatal results.”

Coyne goes on to write about how to work these processes out toward business and employee/team success in a changing world.

Good stuff to know and implement.

Early on in my career, one of the mantras I heard repeatedly was this:

“The three most important things to learn in your work is flexibility…flexibility…flexibility.”

That later changed, in company vernacular, to “fluidity” x 3. The only problem was the temptation to decide for myself what was fluidity/flexibility and what was not. This is where silos and self-interest evolve when we’re not even aware, until we find ourselves not being successful (effective/efficient). In the very work we’ve immersed ourselves in for years…working hard, but not working as smart as we could have. [I know, that hurts – and it will take more than efficiency gurus to bring us out of such a predicament healthy.]

It is possible to turn the ship around…and it takes a whole crew.

Decentralized, empowered teams. Trust. Transparency and collaboration in decision-making. Broad information-sharing. Ownership in real time not just in philosophy. Bringing down silos and working together to nurture an organizational culture where we expect change and thrive in it.

What focus yields a win-win in our workplace? Both from the human side and the business side of performance and organizational culture. What can we do to enhance our business processes – whether we are in management or on the frontlines of our organization?

The following quotes should help to stir thinking. They are out of the book Team of Teams by retired U.S. Army General Stanley McChrystal, currently with The McChrystal Group.

“In complex environments, resilience often spells success, while even the most brilliantly engineered fixed solutions are often insufficient or counterproductive.” – Gen. Stanley McChrystal, Team of Teams

“In place of maps, whiteboards began to appear in our headquarters. Soon they were everywhere. Standing around them, markers in hand, we thought out loud, diagramming what we knew, what we suspected, and what we did not know. We covered the bright white surfaces with multicolored words and drawings, erased, and then covered again. We did not draw static geographic features; we drew mutable relationships—the connections between things rather than the things themselves.” – Gen. McChrystal, Team of Teams

[Sidebar: I had the great pleasure of writing for such a team over the last 3 years. It was a privilege to see that level of creativity and collaboration, in a team of equals, birthing a workplace initiative in sync with a changing world. Amazing experience.]

“Specifically, we restructured our force from the ground up on principles of extremely transparent information sharing (what we call “shared consciousness”) and decentralized decision-making authority (“empowered execution”).” – Gen. McChrystal, Team of Teams

“In a resilience paradigm, managers accept the reality that they will inevitably confront unpredicted threats; rather than erecting strong, specialized defenses, they create systems that aim to roll with the punches, or even benefit from them. Resilient systems are those that can encounter unforeseen threats and, when necessary, put themselves back together again.” – Gen. McChrystal, Team of Teams

“View your leadership as being less about giving top-down orders and more about cultivating those who follow you, empowering them to make the right decisions. Many leaders are tempted to lead like a chess master, striving to control every move, when they should be leading like gardeners, creating and maintaining a viable ecosystem in which the organization operates.This is especially applicable to private sector leaders; the world is moving too quickly for those at the top to master every detail and make every decision. Empowering, cultivating, and ultimately serving those who follow you will unlock massive potential within your organization, allowing you to solve for problems in real time.” – Gen. McChrystal, Forbes.com

*Effectiveness, Efficiency, and Adaptability – The Three Keys to Performance Measurement

Effectiveness Before Efficiency

Efficiency vs. Effectiveness

The Power of Business Process Improvement: 10 Simple Steps to Increase Effectiveness, Efficiency, and Adaptability by Susan Page

GoodReads Team of Teams Quotes

Stanley McChrystal: What The Army Can Teach You About Leadership

Gen. Stanley McChrystal: Adapt to Win in the 21st Century

Let General Stanley McChrystal Explain Why Adaptability Trumps Hierarchy – Forget everything you ever knew about your company’s org chart—and that’s an order.

Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World by General Stanley McChrystal

Photo Credit: Forbes.com

Addictions, Adoption, Babies & Children, Books, Community, Conversations, Courage, Cross-Cultural, Friday Faves, God, Inspired, Language, Leadership, Lessons Learned, Lifelong Learning, Marginalized People, Pornography, Redeeming & Restoring, Relationships, Transformational, work, Workplace or Marketplace

5 Friday Faves – On Foster Care, Losing Control, Best Bakeries, Pornography, and Efficiency

October 9, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Happy Friday! I have guests visiting from out of country so writing time has taken a back seat to sweet times with friends. Still, what a week this has been in discovery. I chose just five favorites but would love to hear (in Comments below) what some of your faves of this week are. Learning is one of my favorite pastimes.

On Foster Care – It’s dangerous for me to start with such a topic because many will click out of this blog just on reading the title (“Not me”; “Not interested”). Foster care is not for everyone, but it has to be for some of us. What if we worked together to provide safe and loving homes for every child in crisis? Chris Campbell and Team of 111Tulsa, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, started just such an initiative. I read a bit of the story in his wife’s blog A Turning Point then I wrote about foster care. We can care for these children together.Photo Credit: AshleyAnnPhotography.com

2. On Losing Control – This week, a blog by Jenilee Goodwin entitled The End of Me popped up in my inbox on a busy day. It might have gone unread except for that title. My Mom, my life-long best friend and the head cheerleader of Team Me, died over a decade ago. That was a grace-covered jolt to my sense of life and its dependability. God helped me through that long season of grief because He had already brought me through an “end of me” experience very similar to the one Jenilee describes in her blog. Crossing cultures and learning languages and the raw not-doing-anything-well are huge opportunities to see how tenuous our “control” is. God is dependable; our circumstances are not. Her piece was beautiful and deeply personal. Wherever you are in life, you will gain much by reading her story.

3. On Best Bakeries – When Business Insider does an photo-splashed article on The Best Bakery in Every State, I took the time to read it. Or should I say “savor it” – without endangering my health. Finding that the “best bakery” in Virginia to be Blackbird Bakery in Bristol (as far across the state from us as could be found), I will drop my own “Best Bakery” in here. For doughnuts anyway, that bakery is the Westhampton Pastry Shop. Ridiculously yummy. What’s your favorite?

Photo Credit: Westhampton Pastry Shop, yelp.com

4) On Pornography – A very serious topic – I placed it on purpose under “best bakeries” because there are all kinds of addictions. The scary difference is the fact that some addictions have outward presentations (like food, drug, and alcohol addictions). Not pornography. Addiction to pornography can do its damage in the quiet and isolation of one’s personal space in front of a screen (phone, tablet, computer). Yet, its damage reaches into relationships, career, and even our own anatomy and physiology. This Is Your Brain on Porn probably won’t deter someone addicted to pornography, but it could sound a warning that what you think is “not hurting anyone” really is…those you love…and you.Photo Credit: Ideapod, Churchm.ag

5) On Efficiency – If you got this far, you are in for a huge treat. This week, as I watch friends go through a company downsizing, the subject came up of efficiency and effectiveness. Does one necessarily lead to the other? Are they the same? In learning more about that, I came across this happy little article by Eric Gilbertson on the push for efficiency in our colleges and universities – The Pursuit of Efficiency and the Pursuit of Folly. Sweet article. Then the book Team of Teams which my husband recently read (devoured really) came to mind. General McChrystal writes brilliantly about adaptability, not efficiency, as our greatest need in the workplace of the 21st century. Work matters…and the people doing the work matter. Get this book…your appetite will be whetted by the articles linked below.

Team of Teams by General Stanley McChrystal

Efficiency in Business Isn’t Key Says Retired General

Gen. Stanley McChrystal: Adapt to win in the 21st Century

Work Smart – Let General Stanley McChrystal Explain Why Adaptability trumps Hierarchy – Forget everything you ever knew about your company’s org chart—and that’s an order.

The Tim Ferriss Experiment – General Stan McChrystal on Eating One Meal Per Day, Special Ops, and Mental Toughness

Your Brain On Porn

Love Your Neighbor – Foster Parenting & Adoption – Every Child in a Safe and Loving Home – www.debmillswriter.com

Books, Community, Conversations, Courage, Friends, God, Gospel, Inspired, Jesus, Leadership, Lives Full of God, Relationships, Transformational, Word of God

Peter and John – a Couple of Ordinary Men Who Had Been With Jesus

October 8, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Boundary Homestead

Then Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said to them, “Rulers of the people and elders, if we are being examined today concerning a good deed done to a crippled man, by what means this man has been healed, let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead—by him this man is standing before you well. This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. – Acts 4:8-13

Peter and John took seriously the last words Jesus told them.

“You will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” – Acts 1:8

These men were not religious leaders or great orators. They were fishermen who had spent three years living life with Jesus, listening to His teaching, and learning His love for His Father and for all people. Peter and John were ordinary men – apart from those three years spent in the company of the One who would take a cross for them, and all of us… Oh, and one more thing, they would know the filling of the Holy Spirit…whatever that would mean.

He spoke not as one who just believed in what he had heard about Jesus. He spoke as one who experienced the life-transforming love of God through Jesus. He knew Jesus. He had witnessed in his own life and others what happens when Jesus touches a person, when He receives a person as His own.

Last night, a small group of people sat around a table and talked about life together. No pretense. Nothing to prove. No one to impress. Just individuals meeting for supper, prayer, and encouragement. A new community group forged from folks at our church (Movement Church).Photo Credit: TheBlazingCenter.com

Through the short evening, as we got to know each other, everyone had a story…a story of a life and journey changed at a juncture where they met Jesus. I wish you could have heard their stories. Some of these new friends have life experiences I can only imagine…riveted to every detail, I heard forgiveness, grace, wonder, love, reconciliation. Ordinary people with a first of a lifetime of encounters with an extraordinary God.

All the stress of my day, the weariness and frustrations, all dissipated at these stories – these glowing faces – these people who were also tired and had their own frustrations…but it all pales when we see Jesus – in one another. Ordinary people who have been with Him. That is community.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35-36

This John recorded Jesus’ words in his Gospel. This John who was with Peter in the account above. We owe them so much. Peter would die for his faith, and John would be exiled to live out his day in isolation. They followed Jesus and gave witness of Him to all they could. A bold witness not because they knew of Him…but because they knew Him, and their lives were radically changed.

…as ours can be.

Meet at the Table by Dustin Willis

Life in Community – Joining Together to Display the Gospel by Dustin Willis

Addictions, Addictive Personality, Alcohol, Courage, Crucifixion, Faithfulness, God, Grace, Healing, Love, Reconciliation/Forgiveness, Redeeming & Restoring, Relationships, Remembering, steadfast love, Thanksgiving or Gratefulness, Transformational, Wednesday Worship, Word of God, Worship

Worship Wednesday – He Knows My Name – Francesca Battistelli

October 7, 2015 admindeb 1 Comment

Photo Credit: Alan Grant, Pinterest.com

Thus says the LORD, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. “For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” – Isaiah 43:1-3

Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. “Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands“. – Isaiah 49:15-16

My older brother, Robert, struggled for much of his adult life with anger and depression. Then toward the end of his life (he died young really from a lethal cardiac event), it was more regret. God in His mercy, before Robert died, was able to pierce through the bitterness. We saw our brother begin to live more in hope, allowing God to speak truth to his heart and allowing us to begin to get closer to him. I wish we had had more time…but Robert had enough time to know God’s love for him, and that’s what mattered most.

For some of those years, after a second divorce and during a time of great grief in the death of his son, he lived with our parents. Our Mom believed in the life-giving power of words. On his bedroom wall was the print above (from a painting by Alan Grant). These verses from God’s Word have always been a comfort to me – in remembering my brother…and in other situations since then when I’m tempted to wonder if God is at work in my life…in me.

If you are in a time of wondering…whether who you are matters or whether what you’re doing has any significance…take heart in the character of God. He is a God who remembers…and He is a God who knows everything about you and loves you. Your name is known to Him…because that is the kind of God He is.

Worship with me, singing/listening to the lovely lyrics of this Francesca Battistelli song (lyrics follow).

Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
Somebody less than perfect
I wouldn’t choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I’d understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that’s just not my story

True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made something out of nothing, so

CHORUS
I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name
He knows my name

I’m not meant to just stay quiet
I’m meant to be a lion
I’ll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I’ve got

True to who You are
You saw my heart
And made something out of nothing

CHORUS

He calls me chosen
Free, forgiven
Wanted, child of the King
His forever
Held and treasured
I am loved

I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes

CHORUS

Song Writers: Francesca Battistelli, Mia Fieldes, Seth Mosley

[P.S. The YouTube video below is the same song but with stories of young women whose lives were restored and healed through Mercy Ministries (Mercy Multiplied).]

YouTube Video – Story Behind the Song He Knows My Name

Story Behind the Song Interview – He Knows My Name – with Kevin Davis

Mercy Multiplied – Residential Program for young women – “Mercy Multiplied is a nonprofit Christian organization dedicated to helping young women break free from life-controlling behaviors and situations, including eating disorders, self-harm, drug and alcohol addictions, unplanned pregnancy, depression, sexual abuse, and sex trafficking. We hope to help every woman we serve experience God’s unconditional love, forgiveness, and life-transforming power.”

Adoption, Babies & Children, Conversations, Family, fresh start, Growing up, Home, Inspired, Love, Parenting, Redeeming & Restoring, Transformational

Love Your Neighbor – Foster Parenting & Adoption – Every Child in a Safe and Loving Home

October 6, 2015 admindeb 2 Comments

Photo Credit: The Forgotten Initiative

“I’m naive. I will admit it. Before I became a social worker I thought every kid had a birthday party. I thought every kid had someone cheering them on in the bleachers. I thought every kid was taken care of when he or she was sick. I thought every kid was read to at night before bedtime. I thought every kid lived in a safe environment. Now? Now I know that thousands of kids live in fear. Thousands of kids struggle with low self-esteem. Thousands of kids are abused. Thousands of kids witness domestic violence. Thousands of kids are in need of a family. Who will care for the orphans?” – a friend who works in foster care

“Who will care for the orphans?”

Did you know that in your city, at the end of any day, there are children needing placement in a safe home? Maybe just for one night, or maybe long-term. Is it possible that your home is just the place for that infant to begin to experience love or for healing to begin for that child or teenager?

There are two types of foster care – traditional and therapeutic. You can learn all you need to know about traditional foster care by going to the Department of Social Services website of your city or state. Foster parents are in high demand and these agencies make it as easy as possible for you to learn what you need to know to become that parent.

Therapeutic foster care involves finding homes and parents for children who have special needs – either medical, emotional, or behavioral issues. These are children who may have suffered violence or who have endured terrible losses. These could be pregnant teens or runaways. These are children that need love the same as any others. Therapeutic foster care involves many more support people than just the foster parents and case workers. If you sense that you could reach out to such children who need more “hands on” care, there are agencies who need parents like you.

Photo Credit: Childrensaidsociety.org

Foster children may need to be placed in a home for short-term or long-term stays, but they may also need emergency placement with very little notice to the foster parents. Their ages and situations vary widely. These kids need love, care and a safe place to call home.

Photo Credit: Ashleyannphotography.com

3 goals of foster care are:

Reunification with the parents – this can happen when the parents of the foster child comply with whatever stipulations are applied by the Department of Social Services.
Placement of child with someone in the extended family (biological relatives) – Again, this is approved by DSS, when the home/family situation is such that the child would be safely and therapeutically returned to a family member.
Adoption or Permanent Foster Care – adoption of a teen is rare. Teens in foster care actually “age out” at 18y/o or when he or she finishes high school. Younger children can be adopted when it’s clear that a return to their biological parents or family won’t be happening. [See profiles here of children and teens available for adoption right now.]

Photo Credit: BPNews.net

Is this something we could do as empty-nesters? Early in our marriage, we cared for a teenaged girl from our church for several weeks. She was estranged from her parents and both she and her parents needed time to heal. Just those few weeks, her with us, gave them all time to decompress. The problems didn’t vanish but the family was emotionally prepared to try again with each other. I will never forget that experience and realized then how valuable it is for families in crisis to know they are not alone. It was an experience that changed us, too, and created a life-long bond with us, both with the parents and their daughter.

The church has a mandate from God to care for the fatherless.

“If I have withheld anything that the poor desired,
or have caused the eyes of the widow to fail, or have eaten my morsel alone, and the fatherless has not eaten of it (for from my youth the fatherless grew up with me as with a father, and from my mother’s womb I guided the widow)…then let my shoulder blade fall from my shoulder, and let my arm be broken from its socket.” – Job 31:16-18, 22

Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow. – Isaiah 1:17

Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world. – James 1:27

Chris Campbell, a social worker in Tulsa, Oklahoma, is the executive director of an initiative called 111 Tulsa. He and his team are working in the community and with the churches of Tulsa (across denominations) to raise up foster parents across the city – such that every child can have a safe and loving home for as long as he or she needs it. This could be an emergency placement of a few hours, or for a short time, or for long-term (maybe even leading to adoption).

We could do this in our own city.

Where do we start? We pray. Then we call one of these agencies and ask how we can help. Even if it’s just taking the foster parenting classes, so we’ll be prepared such God lead in this way. We can also help with non-funded needs the children might have – a birthday present, baby supplies for that pregnant teen, and even prom expenses. Then we get our churches involved.

There are many ways that we can love these neighbors – these kids in crisis. The most critical need is for foster parents. We could be those parents. I would love to hear your story. Let’s do what we can for these children to have their own story of love and family.

Photo Credit: BPNews.net